


A Tale of Stars and Roses

by Ferbiie



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: 707 | Choi Luciel's Real Name, A lot of family bonding and fluff, Abusive Rika (Mystic Messenger), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, MC has a past, Mom Vanderwood (Mystic Messenger), No graphical description of any bad stuff, Other, People dealing with trauma, Rika will be the villain in this fight me, Rika's Apartment (Mystic Messenger), Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending, Saeran needs love, Spoilers for Ray's route, Spoilers for V's route, Tags May Change, There are specific warnings in some chapters, V is the twin's adoptive father and no one can change my mind, Vanderwood (Mystic Messenger) Backstory, Vanderwood being Seven's friend as he should be, Vanderwood is best mom, Zen is bicon, can someone please give these people hugs, many spoilers, mentions of child abuse, occasional cursing, oh fuck that hurts, spoilers for seven's route, there are bad words in this fic, why do i write Sad stuff, why is everyone so f-ing extra, you're in for a ride
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 204,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25902127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ferbiie/pseuds/Ferbiie
Summary: The twins were never allowed to go outside, but it did not stop the older to sneak his brother out whenever they had the chance. Once, they met a girl with kind caramel eyes and long brown hair, but their lives went on separate ways. Ten years later, they all meet again. A tale about love, friendship and finding yourself.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character
Comments: 89
Kudos: 130





	1. New Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!
> 
> First, spoiler warning!!!!! If you are avoiding spoilers and did not play Seven's, Ray's or V's route, this may not be the best place for you to be. The spoilers are going to flow in the next chapters, so maybe you'd like to play the routes and come back when you are done. You've been warned.
> 
> This is one idea I've had for quite a while and have been sorking so much in it. I've seen so many people working on the theory that the reason why Saeran is so attached to MC is because they've met before, and I wanted so bad to give my take on this amazing idea. Soon after I wrote the first chapter, the idea expanded even more and soon enough I was creating a mixture of many routes in order to tell MC's story with the Choi twins from the beginning until the (happy) end.  
> This will probably be a long fanfiction. Even if I do know where I'm going with it, the story is still figuring itself and I really wish to take my time and explore these amazing characters that Cheritz presented us. Of course, this will be based on my personal analysis and comprehension of them, so keep in mind that not everything will follow the canon (mostly details, but still it's important to note)
> 
> Important to point out: this takes place six months after Rika's suicide (meaning: around the same time as AS takes place)
> 
> Some warnings: there are some references to child abuse due to the twins' past, but it is not much descriptive of actual violent acts against them. 
> 
> Also, I am ignoring stuff from Rika's behind the story because that's so bad and I'll honour her role as a great villain, because she freaking deserves it
> 
> Before you star reading, I'll quote one of my favorite fics ever, Wine and Cigarettes, by alwayssaywhatever, in order to summarize my own fic as a whole.  
> “It’s bittersweet and understandable, therefore it’s alright.”

Saeran had been crying for hours. He could not see anything inside the cabinet, and that made him scared, scared, scared. Curled up, the small red headed child sobbed. He hated small spaces like that. He hated being locked up in the cabinets. It all had happened because he hadn’t been able to stay quiet as she told him to. Even if he tried, as soon as she began yelling, not even Saeyoung managed to calm him down. The worst part was the small space, that forced him to remain in the same curled up position and sent pain on his back and legs. There was yelling. He could still listen to her. Mother was angry. Saeyoung had tried to stop her when she was hitting him, and that had made her drunken rage grow larger. He did not know what had happened to Saeyoung. It had been a while since his brother stopped begging her to let Saeran out. The boy lowered his head, covering his ears. He was scared. He didn’t like being scared. The silence that followed was even worse. When she screamed, at least he knew what was happening, which was slightly better than not knowing at all. He hoped to hear anything, even her yelling for Saeyoung to fetch her something from the fridge. But he didn’t. Everything was quiet, quiet, quiet.

Suddenly, he heard soft steps on the floor. Curling up more, the child flinched against the cabinet wall. He prayed for no more beatings. He prayed for her to go away. The lock was turned and the boy began to cry once more. He closed his eyes, waiting for her cold hands to grab him by the hair, but for his surprise, two warm hands wrapped around his shoulders, gently guiding him out of the cabinet and into his twin brother’s embrace. 

“Saeran” Saeyoung whispered “You are fine now. It’s ok. You are safe”

Saeran opened his eyes and saw that his head was leaning over Saeyoung’s chest. He could catch a glimpse of their mother sleeping on the mattress. He could not bear to look at Saeyoung. For stronger than he wanted to sound, Saeran could sense the pain in his brother’s voice. For every kind word he said, Saeran knew that he was the reason why his brother was hurt.

“Saeran, look at me. Please, look at me.” Saeyoung held his brother by the shoulders, trying to meet his golden eyes.

He raised his head and looked at his brother’s face. Despite a bruise over his left eye, there was no other mark that he could see. 

“You are fine. I got you out and she is asleep.” Saeyoung cooed, stroking his brother’s hair “It took a while, but she will probably sleep until night after everything she drank.”

“She hit you. She hit you and it was my fault. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry” he cried

“It wasn’t. I threw myself in the middle because I decided to do so” Saeyoung stated. “You did nothing wrong”

“Where did she hit you?”

“Saeran, stop!'' The urgent tone on Saeyoung’s voice made Saeran get quiet, snapping out of the panic cloud that seemed to surround him “I am fine. We are fine. What happened doesn’t matter. Remember what I always tell you? I am you. You are me. And we are together now, so there is nothing we can’t do. So please, don’t cry.” he wiped the trails the tears had left in his brother’s cheeks with his sleeve.

Saeran nodded. He was being silly. If Saeyoung could be strong for him, then he could also be brave for Saeyoung. No more crying. No more blaming himself. Saeyoung held his hand and helped him stand.

“We have all day, and I thought of the perfect place for us to go” Saeyoung smiled, sustaining Saeran by the waist and throwing his brother’s arm over his shoulder “Let’s go”

. . .

They walked for a long time and Saeyoung carried Saeran on his back during all the way. He was the older twin and he would always fulfil the job of protecting his brother. As soon as they could see the park, Saeran smiled. He had never seen so many flowers together in one place. Saeyoung kept taking him forward, watching out for the occasional cars on the street. 

When they arrived, they were met by a large number of people. Apparently there was some festivity going on, but neither of them knew what it could ever be. “Stay close and don’t let go of me” Saeyoung whispered.

They walked to the flower beds. Saeran sat on the grass, smiling as he saw the tiny flowers blooming towards the sun. Saeyoung kneeled at his side, panting, quiet, simply watching his brother gently touch the flower petals, leaning in to feel their perfume. He liked seeing Saeran like that. His younger twin had always been extremely introverted. He rarely smiled or laughed, always maintaining a distant gaze, as if a million thoughts went through his head and he was always one second away from grabbing one of them. He was very quiet also, very different from his twin brother, who never seemed able to be silent for more than five minutes. That time, Saeyoung was quiet too. He watched the surroundings. They were safe. Saeran was safe. No evil father or crazy mother was there to hurt them. All they had was the sun, the flowerbed and his brother’s smile.

“Look, Saeyoung!” Saeran pulled his brother’s arm “Look, a butterfly! Right there!”

Saeyoung laughed “And it’s yellow, you see? This means good fortune, did you know?” Saeran shook his head. Saeyoung did not know if it was true, but seeing the happy glow on his brother’s eyes made the lie worth it. 

Saeran kept smiling, watching the small insects walking on the grass, the beautiful butterflies soaring around and the flowers that he loved so much. Saeyoung kept his eyes open. His brother deserved to enjoy those rare moments outside. One or another person that passed by seemed to stare a bit longer at the two children in oversized worn clothes. Saeyoung didn’t mind that and, as long as Saeran did not see them, he would not care.

“Are you hungry?” Saeyoung asked, receiving an expected nod in agreement “Wait here. I will be right over there buying something for us to eat. I’ll be right back.”

Saeran kept looking at the beautiful flowers around them. He liked the little and pretty plants. They made him feel wanted. They made him feel… not alone. He looked around. He could not see Saeyoung anymore. In the middle of the sea of people, staying far from his brother was scary. Saeran felt his chest tighten, breathing became a hard task for him. Saeyoung said that he would be right back, but as Saeran realized that it meant that there would be a period of time in which he would be away, his brother was already gone. He stood up. He had seen the direction that Saeyoung had taken, for sure he could reach his brother still. 

He ran, calling out for Saeyoung. At first, it was a faint call that grew into speaking his name and later on, he began yelling for Saeyoung, to no avail. People around him avoided him, sending him menacing looks, examining up and down before going on with their lives. He turned and tried to get back to the flower bed, but he couldn’t find it anymore. He was lost. Saeran Choi was completely lost. The boy felt tears growing in his eyes. He had told Saeyoung that he would not cry, but he couldn’t hold it in. _I am you. You are me._ That was what Saeyoung always said. _There is nothing we can’t do when we are together._ But they weren’t together anymore. Saeran was all alone, just as he was when he was in the cabinet. He couldn’t breathe. Scared, the boy ran.

He saw a big statue in the middle of the park. Around it, some scattered people sat on the steps. It seemed safe. He sat on the lower step, curling up as he hugged his knees. The boy began sobbing, feeling alone. Where was Saeyoung? How could he ever find his older twin? He was not smart like Saeyoung, also, he did not know anything about the world around him. He hoped that Saeyoung would find him there. In the foot of the statue, tears started to flow down his face, falling into his lap. 

_Such a stupid child_ . It was his fault. Just as before, when his mother told him to shut up and he couldn’t stop crying despite Saeyoung’s desperate pleas for him to be quiet. _Just a nuisance._ His brother would be worried about him. Maybe he would give up. What if their father’s men came after them? Saeran hid his face on his knees. He did not know how the outside world worked. That was a place filled with bad people. Hostile people that would always hurt them and scare them. Where no one would ever care for neither of them.

“Why are you crying?” 

Saeran raised his head and his gaze met a pair of round caramel eyes that stared worriedly into his. He gasped, backing away from the small girl that stood in front of him. She had long brown hair and wore a light pink dress. In her hands, she held a paper bag. Even upon seeing the boy’s scared reaction, she didn't move or flinch. She tilted her head to the left, as if examining a very different matter she had never seen. She frowned, looking even more worried than before.

“You don’t need to be scared. Are you lost?” she asked again, taking one step towards him.

The girl’s voice was sweet and tender. He looked to the sides, not knowing what to do. His brother was lost and they were not even supposed to be there. Talking to another child was extremely prohibited. And she was a girl. He had never talked to a girl before. He never talked to anyone. But he figured that she might be the only chance of him seeing his brother again. He nodded as an answer to her question.

“I am lost too” she said “Were you here with your parents?” the girl stopped right in front of him.

Saeran hunched a little as she got closer. He was afraid of her.

“What’s wrong? You don’t need to be scared of me. I bet that you are much taller than me, anyways” she laughed and raised the paper bag towards him “Do you want one?”

He looked at the girl. Saeran did not know what to say, he did not even dare to look inside the bag. The girl’s smile disappeared for a moment as she looked at Saeran. She reached into the bag and pulled a fish shaped bun out.

“It’s bungeoppang” she said “You look sad. My grandma says that there is no better remedy than good food. We had bought this to eat over dinner, but I am sure she won’t be mad if we buy more later. I have already eaten one, because I was very sad about getting lost” she gave him a tender smile, offering him the bungeoppang in her hand “Take it”

Saeran felt his stomach grumble. When had it been the last time he had eaten? He took another long stare at the girl. Carefully, he reached for the bungeoppang. His hand shivered as it briefly touched her’s. He looked at the fish shaped bun. It was cute. He had never eaten something like that. He glanced at her once more.

“Have you never tried it before?” she asked, to what he answered with a shook of his head “It’s good. There is bean paste on the inside”

He took a bite, starting by the head. The brand new flavor filled his mouth, giving him an explosion of emotions. It was good. The girl was right about that. He followed up by another rushed bite. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until that moment. 

“Hey, eat slowly” she said, with an imperative - and still kind - tone “It’s bad for you if you eat fast”

He obeyed, Saeran always obeyed, slowly chewing the crunchy bread. The girl was quiet the whole time. Saeran appreciated that. When he finished, she took another one out of the bag.

“Do you want another one?” 

He nodded, accepting it from her. By the time he finished eating the second one, the girl smiled at him.

“Are you feeling better now?” he nodded “That’s great!” she hopped a bit, clapping her small hands together “Now, for the presentations: may I know your name?”

Saeran looked around. She was kind, just like Saeyoung. She was smiling at him and giving him food, just like his brother always did. She did not sound like mother at all and neither looked at him with the menacing stares that other people did. 

“Saeran Choi” he answered quietly.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you!” she smiled “I am Myung Chae. How old are you?”

He signaled ten with his fingers.

“Me too!” she said. 

“How… How did you get lost?” he stuttered, barely looking at her. 

He never talked to people that were not his brother. He never looked at people that were not his brother. Saeran had never even had what he could call a conversation with their mother, even if he did answer her if she asked something, but he did not believe that muttering anything that he imagined that could make her stop hurting him counted was a conversation. He never learned how to do that. He learned that with Saeyoung he was safe and they could talk and laugh together. With their mother he learned that he was a useless bug that should keep his head down and not bother anyone. 

“My grandmother was watching over me as I played with the other kids. I think that I must have ran too far and now I can’t find her” she said, sitting next to Saeran. She sighed.

Saeran was uncomfortable. He was always uncomfortable. His mind rushed in a million thoughts, trying to process the fact that there was a girl sitting that close to him. She seemed sad. He did not know what to do about that, but she had been so nice to him. Slowly, he raised his hand and gave her soft pats on her head. He felt stupid doing so. 

“You are so cute” she laughed, hugging him by the waist.

Saeran froze. His whole body stiffened. His brain panicked. What was that? What was she doing? No one ever hugged him. Saeyoung hugged him, but only Saeyoung. She was not his brother. She was a girl. A weird lost girl who had been very nice to him. Why would she hug him? He shivered and tears began flowing down his cheek. He missed Saeyoung. He could not understand why the girl was being kind just as his brother was to him. He barely understood what kindness was. 

“Please, don’t cry” she wrapped her arms tighter around him “I am sorry if I said something. I really am.” stroking his hair, she cooed “I promise I will help you find whoever it is that you missed. Really promise” the girl looked at him and gave him a tender kiss on the head “Can you tell me who it is that you are looking for?”

“My… My brother” he stuttered. 

“We can look for our families together, what do you think?” she asked “We could look for your brother and then you help me find my grandmother later” she smiled, hopping on her feet “Now, what is your brother like?”

“He is… just like me, but six minutes older”

“Six minutes older” she dabbed her finger on her chin “Very important to point out. You are twins, then? That’s so cool” she reached her hand towards him “Come on, Saeran. Let’s find your six-minutes-older twin brother”

He looked at her hand. Was he even allowed to do that? Could he… take her hand? He reached out and, slowly, wrapped his fingers around her palm. He thought that she was weird. Just like Saeyoung, she was being patient and kind to him, even when he didn’t deserve it. 

When he stood up, she looked at him. “See, I told you. You _are_ taller than me. Like… two whole fingers” she measured.

He was taller? He had never been taller than anyone. What did it mean?

“You are dressed… weird” he said. She looked down to her dress and he thought that saw confusion in her face “I mean, not weird weird… you look like a princess”

She blushed, smiling at him. “Really? Well, if I am a princess, then you are a knight and now we are going on a quest to find the missing knight”

Saeran tilted his head to the side. “A quest?” he asked.

“Yes. A quest. That’s like a mission”

She was funny, Saeran gave her that. He was still frightened, but she managed to keep him distracted with this whole talk about knights and princesses. He liked that. For a while, she mostly guided him through the park, without ever letting go of his hand.

“It’s good that you two have red hair” she laughed “It will be easier to find him. I don’t think I have ever seen anyone that had red hair in real life”

“Aren’t you scared?” he asked “Your grandma is gone, how can you be so positive all the time?

Myung Chae stood quiet for a while. Then, she smiled.

“I am scared. When I could not see my grandma anymore, I was terrified. I thought that maybe I would never find her again. But then… I realized that will never happen. Because I know my grandma loves me. Even if we are not together, I know that she will always be by my side. Just like mommy and daddy are watching me from heaven. That’s why I know that she will come back for me. And how I know that we will find your brother.”

He kept looking at her. She was being sweet to him. That was not how things were supposed to work. Everyone was evil on the outside. And mean. And there would never be a place for a bug like him. Saeran had never known kindness that didn’t come from his brother. 

“Me and grandmother came here because of the spring festival, you know? When my dad was little, they lived in a house nearby and grandma always tells me about how she would bring my dad and uncles to play here.” The girl kept talking “And I am very excited because it’s the first time after a long time that I have come to a big city. I think it’s the first time that I come to a big Korean city. Anyways…”

She was just like Saeyoung, Saeran thought. Talking and talking to hide her own nervousness under the words. Or perhaps it could be what had slipped Saeran’s mind. Perhaps Myung Chae was more talkative than normal because she didn’t want to see the boy crying again.

“Saeran!” 

The sudden calling interrupted the girl, who let go of Saeran’s hand. They barely had time to turn before Saeyoung wrapped his arms around his brother. He clenched the back of his shirt, pressing his head up against his shoulder. Saeran was happy to be reunited with his brother.

“Hyung! I am sorry, I am sorry” he cried, cuddling in his brother’s arms. 

“I told you to stay on the flower bed. I thought you were gone. I thought they had taken you away” Saeyoung’s voice was shaken. There were not many times when Saeran saw his brother like that “Thank God you are fine” 

“Sorry, hyung” Saeran whispered.

Saeyoung opened his eyes to look at his brother. He had spent the last hour running around the park, praying that his brother was simply lost and not at his father’s hands. 

“Are you ok?” Saeyoung asked “Did anyone hurt you?” 

“I am fine, hyung” Saeran answered “Look, that’s Myung Chae. She helped me.”

Saeyoung only had to take one look at the girl to blush. He hadn’t seen her standing there before. He didn’t understand why his insides seemed to suddenly turn into slime or why his palms were sweating or the redness of his face. He smiled at her, the best way he could.

“Hi. I am...” he forgot his name. Why did he forget his name? She gazed at him with her caramel eyes, so round and cheerful when she bit her lip not to laugh.

“Saeyoung?” Saeran whispered.

“Saeyoung. My name is Saeyoung” he let out a nervous laughter “Nice to meet you, Myung Chae”

She laughed at him. 

“She's lost too” Saeran told him “She lost her grandmother”

“Oh, do not fear then” Saeyoung said, hugging Saeran sideways and pulling him closer “Me and my brave little brother will help you find her in no time. We are the greatest… uuuh” he didn’t know how to complete the phrase “the defenders of…”

“Justice?” Saeran suggested.

“Defenders of Justice, yes!” he made a heroic pose “We will protect you!”

“You are funny” 

Her smile was brighter than the sun, the twins thought. 

Saeyoung turned back to his brother “Do you want to hop on my back? Aren’t you tired?” Saeran nodded in agreement and was immediately lifted, hugging Saeyoung’s neck. 

“So, Myung Chae. Thank you for looking after my brother” Saeyoung said “Do you have any ideas of where your grandmother could be?”

The girl shook her head, proceeding to tell Saeyoung how she had gotten lost. Even if Saeran became even quieter after his brother came, it did not mean that he enjoyed her company less. Quite the contrary. Being carried on his brother’s back, too tired to walk on his own, he smiled watching her talking endlessly. Saeran had never been the talkative type. He left that to his twin. She was not meaner to him because of his silence and neither she traded him for his extroverted twin. She talked to both of them. Was that… having a friend?

Suddenly, he reached his hand out towards her, with a shy smile. “You… You didn’t let go off my hand until we found Saeyoung. I want to… I want to hold your hand until you find your grandmother”

Once again, she smiled brightly, holding his hand tight. Saeyoung was impressed by how comfortable his brother seemed to be near her. Saeran would, sometimes, remain days without saying a word, especially after particularly bad episodes with their mother, so Saeyoung would never expect him to be so comfortable with a girl they had just met. He laughed at the jokes she told and played along in the princess and knights story. He felt grateful for her having taken care of his brother. Something in the small girl attracted him, made him want to talk to her forever. 

“Oh, right” she offered him the paper bag “Do you want them? It’s bungeoppang. There are still two left”

Saeyoung’s eyes became brighter at the mention of food. He had bought a small snack for him and Saeran to share, but he had dropped it upon seeing his brother missing, and didn’t have money to buy anything else. 

“It’s really good, hyung” Saeran said “Myung gave me two of those earlier, they were so tasty. You will like it”

She had fed him. Saeyoung smiled upon hearing that. Myung Chae was definitely a strange girl.

“Yes, I do, actually” he answered “We could sit somewhere or…” he hesitated “I don’t want to interrupt us looking for your grandma. Saeran can hold the bag and then I eat later”

“Oh, no. You wouldn’t be disturbing anything. Actually, if we think about it, it’s better to wait in one place than to keep walking around.” she looked at the two boys. The oldest seemed tired but still determined to carry his brother “Come, I saw a quiet place earlier, it will be easier to find her there and I think that Saeran will be more comfortable in there too”

She guided them towards the other side of the park. As the groups of people became more scarce, Saeran felt that he could breathe better, as if a weight lifted from his frail shoulders. He felt uneasy in the middle of so many people. They sat on the grass, under a big tree. Myung handed Saeyoung the paper bag with a smile. The boy took one of the bungeoppang out and eagerly ate it, watching the strange girl teach his brother the song for a clapping game. She was patient with Saeran, slowly singing the song until he could memorize and holding his hands to show him the claps. Saeyoung wondered if she was an angel that came from the stars to take care of his brother. He took the second one out and splitted it in three parts, handing them to the other two children under the excuse that he wasn’t that hungry. Saeran accepted right away, always so naive to his brother’s lies, but the girl didn’t. She kept looking into his lively golden eyes, as if looking for an answer, doubting the words he had just said. At one point, she seemed to understand, even if just a small part of everything that his eyes held, as she turned to Saeran and, smiling, gave him her part too. Saeyoung averted his eyes. She had already seen too much. He kept fighting himself, saying that they should leave, that she would cause them trouble or, even worse, they would bring some disgrace towards her, but upon seeing his brother smiling and that sweet girl being so kind to both of them… perhaps he could be a bit selfish for them and, even if he was the one who knew the risks, pretend that there was nothing to worry about.

“Saeyoung, come! You need to learn this too” Saeran laughed.

The girl turned towards him and began to sing very slowly a song, as she showed him the claps he had to mirror. It did not take long for him to catch up and soon he had learned the entire song. Myung Chae showed the boys a variety of games during the hour they had spent together. At one point, Saeran stopped, letting out a worried gasp.

“Wait. In the stories the princess always marries one of her brave knights. If Myung-noona is the princess… do we have to marry her?”

“Are you saying you want to marry her?” Saeyoung laughed

“What? No” he seemed outraged with the idea “Of course not. That’s gross.”

Saeyoung and Myung laughed at the youngest’s reaction. “You know” she laughed “If I ever marry, it has to be in a really, really cool place. Somewhere people never married before”

“Like a space station?” Saeyoung asked.

“Yes! Like a space station”

The older twin looked at her, smirking. “Well, then I promise you that, since my little bro here gave up on it, I will take on the mission of marrying you in a space station”

“Can I pilot the ship?” Saeran asked

“Of course!” Saeyoung answered “You are already in charge of it”

Suddenly, an old lady came running towards them. Her clothes were simple, but neatly clean, just as Myung Chae’s might have been before the hours they had spent running on the grass. 

“Myung! Myung!” the old woman called, running towards the group “Oh, my sweet Myung”

“Grandma!”

They hugged each other. “My precious child, I thought I had lost you. I told you so many times to stay where I can see you” she scolded, but she didn’t sound angry or mad. She seemed… fine.

The twins were puzzled by the scene. Saeyoung was already ready to stand for Myung and defend her from any punishment, but that did not seem the case. She was being punished… by hugs?

The woman raised her eyes and looked at the raggedy kids. Saeran cowered behind his brother as Saeyoung stood still, holding his hand. That was the moment when he never knew what would happen. Most times, people pretended they weren’t there. No one ever wanted to notice a child wearing patched up clothes, obviously oversized as a way of saving their mother’s money since they would grow into them. No one liked the sight of a thin child with occasional bruises on their face. Saeyoung knew that as well as he knew that most of the time people avoided them. Perhaps they thought they would steal from them. Perhaps they just never wanted to be bothered. But there were a few times when people decided to scare him away, and he would never allow it to happen with his brother. He was ready to run.

The surprised look on the woman’s eyes became sadness, perhaps pity and then it transformed into something brand new as a kind smile formed on her face.

“And who are the two gentlemen over here?” she asked.

“Those are my friends, grandma” Myung answered “That’s Saeyoung and the one behind him is Saeran. They are twins, but Saeyoung is six minutes older. They are my knights and they were protecting me until we found you”

“I see” if possible, her smile grew wider and even kinder than before “Well, thank you very much for protecting my princess, brave knights” she gave them a respectful bow.

The two boys were speechless, stiff and uncertain on how to react. She was a grown up. Weren’t grown ups supposed to be mean?

“What do you three think of me getting you some sweet popcorn as a prize?” she offered.

“Oh, yes!” Myung exclaimed. 

The old lady looked at the boys, expecting to receive some response. Saeyoung nodded, opening a shy smile.

“We would like that”

The three children ate while sitting on the floor. They laughed as Saeyoung told a story about a mighty dragon called Smug that hoarded candy. Saeran knew that he was creating the story on the spot, but every question that Myung made was answered without hesitation.

Upon finishing the popcorn, Myung’s grandmother came up to them.

“Time to leave, Myung. Say goodbye to your friends while I throw away the trash”

The children looked at each other. They didn’t want to say goodbye. Saeyoung was the first to speak. 

“Thank you for taking care of Saeran” he said “You are nice”

She smiled back at him and gave him a hug. It was a nice and warm hug. Saeyoung was not used to that, but it did not stop him from hugging her back. He wished that the afternoon would never end. As they got apart, Myung stood on the tip of her toes and kissed the bruise above his eye.

“To heal faster” she smiled.

The boy didn’t know what had happened. Slowly, he reached for the bruise, the feeling of her lips still impregnated his skin. He thought that she was an angel, she had to be. 

“Be brave, Saeran” she said, hugging him “You are my brave knight, so please don’t cry. If it ever happens again, your brother will come back for you, just as I know that, wherever I am, my grandma will always find me.”

She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Myung, let’s go!” her grandmother called.

She looked at the boys.

“If I ever come here again, I will look for you. So keep your eyes very open” she laughed before running back to her grandmother.

“Bye, Myung Chae” Saeran yelled.

From the distance, the girl turned back one last time.

“You can call me MC! Everybody does!”

“Then, bye, MC!” the twins shouted, watching her walk away.

Saeyoung held his brother’s hand tight, watching the sweet girl leave. Part of him told him how idiot he had been. People like him and Saeran would never have friends. It had always been just the two of them and it would never change. Still, deep down he had a feeling that he could not understand, but he was sure that would not be the last time they would hear about small and sweet Myung Chae.

. . .

He tapped the phone.

10:24 am

10:25 am

10:26 am

Time passed. He hated being back there. The trees, the flowers, the smell. _He loved the flowers._ No, he didn’t. Not him.

Suddenly, he saw her. Far on the distance, sitting on a bench. Her long brown hair reached her waist line, the same kind caramel eyes from ten years before. Something inside of him seemed to wake up. What was that? A distant memory. _A memory of him._ Lies. _Of those days when they were happy._ Just lies. She wasn’t a liar. She had not lied to him or betrayed him. She had been kind and sweet and those were the people that were too weak for this world. Saeran knew that. He had learned that. And just as she had saved him all those years back, he would save her now. _He was her brave knight._ That was why when Savior told him that they needed someone, Ray, that useless part of himself, immediately thought of her. There were not many faces in his memories. _She was kind._ The memories of poor, weak, coward Ray. _She smiled at him._ Usually, Saeran ignored Ray after taking control. He had learned to suppress that small part of him that deserved nothing but hatred. _She held his hand._ But not that time. Saeran could not understand what Ray was telling him. The idiot was not explaining it. Why her? _She was a friend._ Why her? _She gave us hope._ He would save her, take her away from the terrible people that would only hurt someone like her and, with luck, lead her to paradise. _She will give us hope._ They already had hope. _She is the right one._ She is the right one. _She will save us._ We will save her.

He pulled his phone out. Everything was working out. 

Unknown: ...hello…?

MC: ?

Unknown: Can you see this?

MC: Who are you?

Unknown: I’m sure you are surprised

Unknown: It’s not everyday that you get a text from a stranger

Unknown: I’m a bit flustered myself. I found a smartphone at the subway station, but all it had was this messenger app.

Unknown: All I see is an address and some important-looking numbers saved in notes.

Unknown: I’d like to go there myself, but I am currently abroad

They would save her.

MC: first, who are you?

Unknown: I’m just… a student studying abroad. I’m Korean.

Unknown: But, anyways.. Can you help me find the owner of this phone?

They would show her the truth.

MC: Sorry, but, why are you talking to me as if I know you?

Unknown: Oh, sorry. Living abroad makes you lonely.

Unknown: You don’t have to be such a stranger too.

_Or perhaps_

Unknown: Anyways, can you please help me?

Unknown: It’d be great if you could go to the address and find some hints.

Unknown: It’s really a safe place, I know the area. If you feel unsafe you can just turn around.

_she would be the one_

MC: Fine… I’m leaving right away if it feels sketchy.

_to show it all to them._


	2. Remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC reflects about what led her to to the RFA, at the same time, a lonely hacker recognizes a girl from his past

MC never understood what took her to that apartment. 

Sweet and little Myung Chae, that was what everybody called her. The girl that turned her village upside down when she was a child, the girl who left to become an artist. She had never done anything great in her life. At 20 years old, she had just started college. Things had gotten ruff after her grandmother passed away a year before. Everyone told her to stay on the farm, keep taking care of crops and barnyard animals. She loved it all… but longed for more. You could say that it had been a rushed decision, but if you knew Myung and her grandmother, even for a bit, you’d know that was how their family worked. As soon as Myung graduated high school, she did not know exactly what she wanted to do, nor did they have the money to pay for college. She was always a good student, but not good enough for a scholarship, so she had accepted the fact that she would keep helping her grandmother on the farm and, later on, make her life out of it. But after her grandmother’s death, everything changed. Nothing binded her to that place anymore, at least not as strongly to create in her any fear of leaving. And so she did.

Even if she missed her grandmother, she knew that old Sue Chae would never want her granddaughter to stop her life because of her death. 

“I’ll tell you how to be happy” her grandmother used to say “Take care of those around you, do what you dream and, above all, remember who you are. That is the most important thing, Myung. Because no one will ever take that away from you.”

After a couple months, she was still struggling to create bonds in college. Even if she was very talkative, Myung always had trouble making friends. Still, she was sure that things would settle. They always did. In the 20 years of her life, that was her fourth home. The first one was a tiny house in the village, where she was born. Later on, for six years it was Tokyo, Japan, where she had a life with her parents that she barely remembered, but she felt deep down that she had been happy. The third home was with her grandmother, with whom she had, for 13 years, created her most cherished memories. And now, at 20 years old, there she was. Alone. 

The loneliness and silence of her apartment were what had driven her to the park. She had been there only once. It was far away from where she lived, but it was the first place she could think of. Her grandmother had taken her there when she was little, and she had gotten lost. She cried so much when she was lost. 

As she walked through the park, she reached a big monument. She had seen the little boy crying there. That was what had made her stop. She had wiped her tears and walked over him. He had the most scared eyes she had ever seen. Saeran Choi. She had never forgotten the name. She never forgets a name. 

“Names are the reflection of one's soul” her grandmother used to say “Always remember the name of whoever you meet, for that will be the only way for you to reach the person’s heart”

She and the boy had eaten bungeoppang. He was crying because he had gotten lost from his twin brother. _Six minutes older._ She smiled, continuing her walk around the park. They had walked together, he never letting go of her hand, until they met the other twin. Saeyoung Choi. She never forgets a name. They had said they would protect her, the defenders of justice. 

She found it funny how those things had stuck with her until so many years later. For a while, she had hoped to see them again. At first, she had not understood why the boy seemed so scared, why they were so desperate whenever food was given to them and why they wore the big old clothes. When the years passed, she realized that perhaps the two brothers lived in the park or on the streets nearby. It never changed the first judgement she had made about them, but it did serve to put things under a different perspective. Sometimes, she wondered where they would be, if they were alive, if they managed to get out of the streets. But it was all in the past. It was not worth thinking about it. 

She had been thinking too much about the past since her grandmother passed away. She missed her. To lose someone wasn’t easy. On her last day with her, Myung had spent the entire day at the hospital by her side. She didn’t cry. At least she didn’t remember crying. They played board games during the afternoon and watched a movie during dinner. 

“What is it that you wish the most?” her grandmother had asked “What is it that your heart seems to be longing?”

Myung had stood in silence. She didn’t know. For a while, she had not even thought about her wishes. 

“I don’t know” she answered “I feel that… I know that my place is not here, in the village. But there is nothing else for me out there.”

“Myung, there is the whole world for you out there” she smiled “Sometimes, you will face hard decisions and perhaps you will choose the crazier option, the one that defies all logic and sense. But you know what is the truth, my dear? Whatever you choose, I will be there holding your hand because I know that my MC will always follow what she believes is right”

But she wasn’t there to hold her hand anymore. That night, she had passed away peacefully in her sleep.

MC sat on one of the old benches. She could use a couple of mighty defenders of justice at that point. Suddenly, her phone vibrated in her hand. A notification appeared, for an app that she didn’t recall downloading. She frowned, feeling her heartbeat accelerate as she opened it. Nothing exciting ever happened in Myung Chae’s life. A mysterious app that had just appeared in her phone was enough adrenalin for the whole year.

As soon as she opened it, she was met by codes running up and down her screen and then a single message:

Unknown: ...hello…?

She bit her lip, wondering if she should answer. It was not the smartest choice, nor the wisest. Still, MC trembled in curiosity. She wanted answers. What was that message? What was the app? Who was she talking to? She didn’t gather the answer to any of those. Instead, she was given a blind choice. Go to the apartment or not. Everything in her head screamed for her to go back home, take a warm shower and navigate through the already known Nightflix catalogue. She stared blankly at the screen. Something called her. Curiosity? Stupidity? Fate? Perhaps it is all. 

“There are no stupid choices, Myung” her grandma seemed to whisper in her ear “There are the wisest and the less wise. Who knows which one of them will bring you more happiness in the end?”

MC never understood exactly what took her to the apartment. As she got into the subway, she kept repeating to herself that she would just take a look, that she would simply knock on the door and when no one answered - why would anyone answer? - she would leave. Besides, she knew where the place was. It was a very safe neighborhood. She had never been there, but for sure there would be no problems. 

By the time she reached the apartment, things got more complicated. She never understood why she accepted to participate in that organization either. It was crazy. It was nothing like her to do such things. She had received a choice: go back to her day to day life or go in a crazy adventure. She almost backed out. For a while, she considered deleting the app and running out of that apartment, but that was before she saw his picture. A young man about her age, with bright red hair and golden eyes. She never forgets a name. It was unlikely and odd, but still, something urged her to stay. The defender of justice, he had said.

All those strange and unknown people, including the one who first made contact… Who could they be? Was it some sort of weird prank? She did not believe it was the case. The director, the secretary, the student, the actor, the photographer… and the hacker. Such a familiar face, but it could not be. Could it?

Before she could think, she rushed to her home and packed a bag. She would stay in that apartment only for a while. Nothing permanent. She could back out whenever she wanted to, but not at that moment. She needed answers. Besides, charity was always a fun thing to engage, what could ever go wrong?

. . .

“V?” Seven held the phone with both of his hands to try to avoid shaking. “Yes. I guess I am fine. I need to talk to you” he kept silent as he heard his friend on the other side “It did concern me a bit. It’s only been six months, don’t you think that it’s too soon?.... Well, I’ll trust you if you say it’s the best….. Yes. I checked her.” 

Seven stared at his computer screen, looking at all the information he had dug about the new girl.

“It’s because of her that I called…. No, there is nothing wrong. Actually, I don’t know if there is,” He took a deep breath “I know her. I met her when we were ten years old…. I am not sure…. I tried to find information about her and I am looking at some pictures of her as a child in her social media. If they are not the same person, they are very similar…. Me and Saeran, we were very young. I hadn’t even met you at the time… No. cutting her access won’t give us any answers…. I agree…. I’ll keep my eyes open…. Yes, you too… Bye”

He hung up, without taking his eyes off the screen. The caramel eyes, the kind smile. It was her. That was the small and sweet Myung Chae from all those years back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!
> 
> My idea with this story is to lead it as a "crossover" of many routes (mostly Seven's, Ray's and V). 
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	3. Welcome to the RFA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still dealing with the new life, Myung Chae gets to know a little about the members of the RFA. Also, her mind is set in discovering the truth about Saeyoung and how, of so many people, they ended up in the same organization.

**Welcome to RFA**

For the following days, MC was happy. Even if her situation was troubling and they still had no explanation for her arrival at the RFA, she was happier than she felt in a long time. Probably ever since her grandmother died. What had begun as mere curiosity and thrill transformed itself into something that she truly cared about. She did enjoy working with charity, but what truly bounded her were the people that she had just met. Even if they doubted her at the beginning, slowly they had entered her heart, up to a point when she considered them her dear friends. 

As she sat on the bed drinking a cup of hot chocolate, she opened the messenger and began reading the members’ new status updates. They were definitely peculiar, each one of them. If someone told her that there was an organization that gathered such a plural group of people, she would have hardly believed that it could ever work. Things were never very peaceful, but she could feel the energy that joined them all together.

Zen, the musical actor. There was no doubt that he was very handsome. There was also no doubt that he knew how handsome he truly was. Every morning she would log in on the messenger and meet him in the chatroom, always flirting so much. She always had a good laugh talking to him, thanks to his constant bragging and his neverending bickering with Jumin. MC wondered where that came from, even if they had always been like that or if something made them hate each other so much. But those were questions that only time would be able to answer. She found in Zen a lovely friend right away, so communicative and caring. Even if he did flirt with her all the time, she felt as if he was the protective type, always worrying about her.

Yoosung was a cutie-pie. He had just gotten into college, just like her, but was one year younger. Surprisingly enough, she soon discovered that they went to the same college, but had not run into each other in the past six months. She had a lot of fun with the younger boy and they discovered many things in common, such as having gaming as a hobby - she even played some Lolol matches with him -, but what truly made her feel connected with him was the fact that both of them had lost people they loved. It had only been six months for him, she could relate with the pain he was feeling, especially after listening to him telling her how special his cousin, Rika, was for him and discovering the very unfortunate circumstances of her death. MC deeply wished to help him, but she did not know how considering that even she was having trouble mourning her grandmother’s death.

Jaehee was simply amazing. MC was deeply relieved to find someone that enjoyed movies and musicals so much. Even though her relationship with the older woman had been a bit troubled in the beginning, it did not take long for them to find similar interests, especially regarding fangirling over Zen. For sure Jaehee worked way too much and one of the missions MC took over herself was to help her new friend avoid any more extra projects that could come from her boss, Jumin.

Speaking of whom, MC could not pinpoint what her opinion was of the young CEO-in-line, besides the fact that he was very handsome and he and Zen had their own issues. She felt bad seeing his troubles with his father. She felt as if Jumin had always a cold, stiff mask placed over his handsome face, hiding his true emotions deep inside. 

And Seven. Weird, quirky and mysterious Seven. Every single day they talked in the chat and everytime he went away Myung Chae kept wondering when he would be back. She felt drawn by the boy with red hair and golden eyes, such a familiar face… Could it be?, she would ask herself every day. Was him Saeyoung Choi? Part of her decided that it couldn't be. It would be too much of a coincidence, besides, he was named Luciel, but it was his baptismal name, not his birth name. Was his Saeyoung Choi? The raggedy boy that had a younger twin, that played with her, ate the bungeoppang she gave him, promised to marry her… in the space station. Seven had said the same thing. The exact same thing. He felt familiar about everything; the way he talked to her, always as if he knew her for a long time, as if… as if he was Saeyoung Choi. She did find it weird how he never talked about any brother, actually, how he never talked about anything. Being dangerous was the usual excuse he gave. No one could know much about him. But Myung Chae wanted to know. She wanted to ask him about his life, to know what had happened to him and his adorable twin, Saeran; if they had lived a happy life; if both of them were all right.

Myung Chae was desperately curious about the identity of the mysterious hacker, but at the same time there was something else that would draw her attention, that made her heart flutter and beat faster whenever a message notification came in. She wanted to see him, talk to him at all times, feel his presence and make sure that she was not simply going insane when she thought that, perhaps, she was falling in love with him. Love? No. It couldn’t be, could it? Over a message app? Sometimes she was sure that she was going crazy, creating such fantasies over her head, but deep down her heart the young woman knew the truth. She felt it in the smile that he could give her with his jokes or the way she blushed whenever he called. Myung Chae had fallen in love with Saeyoung Choi.

. . .

Seven had spent the past days staring at his cellphone. He worked, ate, slept and waited for her to log into the RFA app.

It all began for investigative purposes.

Exclusively investigative purposes.

From the moment when Myung Chae appeared on the chatroom, Saeyoung had been flooded by an unsettling fear that she was fake, a trap that came from his father in order to find him and… But she was real, as he saw by accessing the security cameras. She was herself, flash and bone, standing in Rika’s old apartment. Blue dress, pink ribbon in her hair, smile as bright as the sun. The same Myung Chae from years before. He tried to find every single bit of information about her and being a hacker made the task fairly easy, especially for such a talented hacker like him. Seven swept everything. Documents, family history, medical history, Tripter, Instantgram, Facenook, every information about her that he could find. The hacker learned that her grandmother had passed away one year before, that she was majoring in Arts in the SKY University, that she had owned a cat - such a cute kitty - from ages eight to seventeen and called it Naruto because of it’s yellow fur. Despite his efforts, there was still one unsolved piece that remained: why was she there? There was nothing that connected her to the government, or to his father, or his agency, and not even to any sort of criminal groups. she was as ordinary as she could be. How could a young woman like her end up in their private app? What was the piece that he was missing? Because of that he decided to investigate on his own, get closer to her, understand her better and find the final proof that she was the same girl he had met in the park.

At first, it was unintentional. One joke, another joke, suddenly one of them seemed to flirt a bit, and the other one always flirted back, making him laugh. Then it evolved to the feelings of anxiousness towards the app, waiting for her to log in, rushing into chats whenever he saw her there. He would say that it was all for investigation sake, making jokes and asking things, trying to see how far she would go into talking to him; but because of that he could not pinpoint from when he started to actually enjoy her company. With time, he felt the urge to call her, the suspicious thoughts gave space for trust to lodge into his mind and for something else to lodge into his heart. All he could think of was her, he wanted to call her everyday and share… more than he could. To imagine that she was there with him, listening to him, caring for him. He felt something that he shouldn’t, that he wasn’t allowed to. 

One day, he decided to make his final move, to find at least one of the answers he needed. He had to be sure that it was the same girl he fell in love when he was 10 years old. When he and Saeran escaped home to take a walk in the park and he almost lost everything. When he found her taking care of his brother. And even more: he wanted to know if she remembered him. Every single evidence pointed to a positive answer but he knew what would serve as proof to him.

He was busy working and when he came back to his senses he was already calling her. She picked up before he could hang up, and this made him glad. Talking to her made him happier than he had ever been for the past years. Between flirting and joking around, he felt that it was time to test it out. He needed an answer.

“Now that I’m hearing your voice, I want to take you to the space station” he said, blushing as he heard her soft giggle on the other side.

“Fair enough, we will marry there, won’t we?” she answered.

At that moment, his world sank, his head was spinning, his thoughts spiraling out of control. It was her. It was little and sweet Myung Chae. And she remembered.

. . .

That night, MC had ordered pizza. Half cheese, half potato chip. One of the best things about living in the city was Pizza Hat and no one would change her opinion about that. It was already pretty late, but she had been studying all day and could not eat until then, to Zen’s desperation, who proceeded to explain to her exactly why she should never dine too late in the night, especially carbohydrates. 

“So sorry, lovely Zen” she said, placing three slices in her plate “The heart wants what it wants”

Life had not been bad for the last four days. The apartment was bigger than the one she lived in, what was already pretty cool, and the neighbourhood was much fancier than the one near her college too. Besides that, she was having a lot of fun in the RFA. A few days before V, the mysterious photographer, had logged in again to confirm that they were hosting another party. He just had to settle the date. 

She had done her research about him, but there was nothing much out of the ordinary. He came from a rich family that worked with the art industry and was a very famous photographer. She had studied some of his works in one of her classes, he was truly talented. MC felt bad for him, having lost his fiancée like that. She found some news regarding the issue, but did not dig in too deep. It was too personal for her to keep meddling in through those newspaper articles. 

MC had seen Yoosung’s attitude towards him and it all felt like a much complicated situation. She truly did not believe that keeping secrets and trying to take in all the burden, as V apparently did, was the best option, but still, seeing Yoosung’s judgmental behaviour, even if the boy was terribly hurt, also did not seem like the best way of dealing with the situation. She wished to help both of them and with Yoosung she was actually managing to do so, but… V was never there.

It did not take long for her to realize that there were many mysteries hidden deep within the RFA and soon the wall above her bed was covered by notes and string lines that connected them all. She needed answers. 

That night, she sat on the couch and turned on the TV, opening the app to see if anyone had logged in recently. For her surprise, Seven was there. Her heart skipped a bit, and she crossed her legs over the couch, smiling as she opened the chat. She was worrying about him, working so much like that, but she could not say anything after having spent most of her day finishing up one of her projects for class. Among jokes and teasings of all sorts, she would never have expected for V to come online. Always so polite, he greeted them and proceeded to the biggest news: the date was set. In one week they would have a party. It was definitely not much time, but MC could not hide her excitement to finally meet all of them. She gave both of them good night, ready to drop into her comfortable bed, but before she could log out, Myung Chae was surprised by a new participant in the chatroom.

Unknown.

A shiver bolted down her spine, freezing her into place. It was them again, the person who brought her there, the hacker. She could not type anything on the chatroom, neither leave the app, her only option has to read the gibberish he sent until he managed to send his last words

Unknown: I am

Unknown: going to

Unknown: corrupt you

With that, the app closed on it’s own and she was left alone in the quiet apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	4. Emails and Hackers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung has trouble dealing with mysterious emails and with the girl that stole his heart.

After the incident, it took her awhile to make her app start to work again. MC kept still on the couch, trying to catch a grip on her thoughts about the last messages. _I am going to corrupt you._ Who was this person? The hacker, obviously, but who? For the past few days she had been so deeply entertained by the kind people in the RFA that she had, even if briefly, forgotten about the weird circumstances that had brought her to the apartment. She had not even had any sort of contact with the hacker after being dropped in one of their chats. The last news she had received from them was a weird message telling her to have fun. MC has, in fact, tried to reply to it, but to no avail. Why had they decided to contact her again? Was there a reason for them having chosen her?

MC did not have the answers, therefore, she waited. For almost one hour she tried to open the app, but it was stuck, crashing everytime she clicked on it. When she finally managed to log in, Yoosung was there, complaining about weird notification sounds that had come from the app. All of them seemed to have the same question: what was wrong with the RFA app?

. . .

There were not many times that Seven was surprised by anything related with technology. Countless times he had broken into servers, hacked, coding for hours without rest and without any difficulty. Or course, there were many people out there in the world that wished to get him, hurt him, kill him, but he had always outsmarted them. Agent 707, the youngest agent of the agency, always three steps ahead of his enemies. His softwares were, usually, impenetrable, neatly encrypted and locked, impossíble to access. But not that time. 

Vanderwood had been nagging him for days for him to finish the job for the agency. Everytime he fell asleep, or was eating, or in the bathroom, he would hear Vanderwood yelling around the house that he had to go back to work. It had always been like that, since he joined the agency in the first place. Vanderwood was the one who trained him, who partnered with him in missions and also who was responsible for assuring that he would get the job done. That time he had finally gotten some sleep while sitting in his chair, but Vanderwood had woken him up again, yelling that he had to go back to work. As soon as they looked at the computer screen, they saw the warning. Agent 707 had been hacked.

It had never happened before and would be, for sure, something he would be extremely excited about if it wasn’t for one detail: the other person was hacking the RFA server. That was off limits for any sort of joke: very off limits. 

He pulled an all-nighter trying to solve the problem, Vanderwood helped him by providing advice, coffee and cleaning his home. While he worked, he could not refrain thinking about her. Myung Chae. The girl that was all alone at the apartment to which the hacker knew the address. Concentrate. That was the only way he could protect her. He checked the cameras. She was safe. Before que could notice, he would be checking her each 2,35 seconds. He was not being efficient enough, he was not good enough. Was she safe? Was the RFA safe? Seven asked Jumin to send security guards to everyone, except for her. He couldn’t reveal the address. Even if he wanted to, V had told him not to and he respected V. He always respected V.

Vanderwood was a jerk, but he was helpful. Also, he wanted the job done more than anything in the world, what made him even more helpful. Soon enough, he watched the cameras for Seven, always grumpy, mumbling something about the boss killing the two of them. Deep down, Seven liked Vanderwood a lot. It was like having a friend. Of course, a friend that would tase you without notice, but still, a friend.

By the afternoon, the commentary began. At first it was Yoosung, meddling in his life, saying that he, Seven, the all mighty Defender of Justice, was falling in love for MC, which he wasn’t… was he? But even if he was… He couldn’t. He shouldn’t. People like him were not supposed to have any sort of attachments to anyone. RFA was already a big risk that would leave a scar craved on his heart if anything happened. He had already abandoned the most important person to him, if he admitted that he loved her but could not do anything about it… He would not be able to take it. Never.

Still, he couldn’t protect her. What was worth being a genius, having all the hacking knowledge he had, and still being unable to protect her? He had helped to drag her into that mess, just because he was curious. Because he saw the girl he fell in love with when he was just a scared ten year old. If he had been smart, he would have called V and told him that Myung Chae was not reliable; would have kicked her out of the app and she would be able to go on with her life, without the misfortune of meeting him again. She would always have the memory of him as happy, of a time when… When his brother was still with him. But he had not been smart. He had been dumb, and selfish, and irresponsible. Now, she was in danger and it was his fault. He had to protect MC at all costs.

On the following day, he tried to show himself brighter. He had to be happy, he had to be funny. Comforting people and making them feel safe was also about the way you behaved. He knew that. He had always known that. Therefore, he acted relaxed, as if he was happy and not worried. He acted as if everything was fine, even if deep inside his heart was being torn apart. Seven acted. It was all an act, because he knew fear and sadness and did not wish for anyone else to feel like that.

. . .

_“Hyung” the younger boy called, curled up on the floor._

_“Shh” the older one answered “She will hear you” He drew himself closer to his brother, holding his hand “What’s wrong?”_

_In the darkness of the room, the two children curled up under the blanket on the floor could barely be seen, only their bright ginger hair glowed in the night._

_“I had a nightmare” he whispered “With dad and mom. They were being scary and…”_

_“Shh” the older cooed, seeing that his brother was about to cry “Don’t say it. You’ll just remember it more. You know… You should do like me when I have a nightmare” he smiled._

_“Like you?” the other one asked “But you never have nightmares”_

_The boy scoffed “You only think that I don’t, because I have the secret method” he signaled for his brother to come closer “I always imagine that there is this very strong super hero in my mind. Whenever I dream of something scary, he comes and saves me. This can never fail” he smiled, brightly._

_“Really?” the younger asked “But… What does the super hero look like?”_

_“He can look however you want him to” the boy poked his brother’s forehead “You just need to picture him in here” he hugged his younger twin, bringing him close “Besides, I will be right here protecting you. Always”_

_. . ._

He still had to deal with the emails. Those disturbing, mysterious emails that everyone had gotten except for him. What could that hacker be planning? Was he trying to pick a fight, because Seven was the type of person that would fight easily if pushed past his limits, and he had been pushed far past his limits that time. 

Lousy hacker, sending those emails and leaving his traces everywhere. He would fix everything up and go after him. Maybe even take Vanderwood too, get on a real investigation on that guy. That was not right. No one would mess up with his RFA like that.

He was trying to protect everyone and still seemed not to be able to do anything. He was being useless. Completely useless. 

That night, he talked with her. It had not really been that long since they last texted each other, but for him it felt as if years had passed. He had been waiting to see her all day and even if through some text messages he could talk to her for a bit, he would. Oh, he surely would. He had to apologize to her. She was scared, for sure. Who wouldn’t be in that situation? And she was still so kind. He did not deserve her kindness or her worries. He did not even deserve to be talking to her as he was the one to blame. It was so easy to talk, to say things that were in his mind and in his heart, to allow the dark thoughts that were always in his head go out, even for a bit. It was so easy. The problem was that this easiness made him realize what he had said too late. Was this a side effect of being with her? He remembered that one time, when he shared one of the fish shaped buns she had just given him with her and his brother. He was so hungry that day and still, Saeran should be the one to eat more, he was always so frail… She looked deep into his eyes that day and, without saying a word, it was as if she could feel his fear and worries towards his brother and, just like that, gave the younger boy her share of the bungeoppang too. Was it like that? Was that why he always felt secure to talk to her? That was not good. Some things should be kept hidden deep inside. He had to be hidden, away from everyone he loved so that they would be safe. Just like he had done to protect his brother, he would have to protect her

707: Since you can be put in danger because of me,

707: We need to keep our distance…

707: If we’re like we’re now, where we can’t meet

707: and you’re neither friend nor family, you’ll be safe.

MC: That’s… that’s so sad. We can’t even be friends?

707: I don’t know.

707: You and me…

707: did we ever have any kind of relationship?

707: We just talked a bit

707: here in this chatroom…

707: And of course, I enjoyed all those conversations… but even those are pointless to me.

The words broke his heart apart. He wanted to see her, to hug her, to tell her that he was Saeyoung Choi, who would take her to the space station, who would help her and protect her. He wanted to tell her how much she had meant to him, how his brother had rarely smiled the way he did when she was with them, how she had been able to turn all the pain he was feeling on that horrific day into one of the best memories he had. He wanted to tell her that she was the first friend he and his brother ever had. But he couldn't. He shouldn’t. It was better like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	5. Childhood Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The special security system…
> 
> The numbers had changed. The last log registered a couple hours before. It had been reseted and restarted during the night. Seven froze, unable to move one muscle from the shock. Someone had hacked his minutiously encrypted security system. That was bad. Terrible. That meant that this person could break in. It meant… It meant that Myung Chae was in danger."

****_One for sorrow_

_Two for mirth_

_Three for a wedding_

_and Four for a birth_

_Five for a silver_

_Six for a gold_

_and Seven for a secret never to be told_

_. . ._

Myung Chae woke up early that day. Before rolling out of bed, she checked the messenger. No new message from Seven. Had he meant those things he said? Had all the messages they had exchanged meant nothing for him? Her chest felt tight, as if someone was diabolically squeezing her heart. MC sighed, she shouldn’t be worrying so much. They barely knew each other anyways. She was being just stupid about it, that was it. Just stupid.

Lazily, she stood up, heading towards the bathroom. A good refreshing shower would be more than enough to wake her back to her senses, where there were no dumb red haired hackers, nor dangerous charity organizations, just a nice app where she could meet new lovely people and her Art History project that she had to deliver before noon. She was fine. Completely fine. In fact, she was not even thinking about the other night anymore. Was she? The problem was that he sounded… He sounded sad. So terribly sad. Everyone was worried about him. It was not a secret that he had been working non-stop, but even more than that, what he had just told her about his job, about the place where he worked. Seven had said how dangerous it was, what a mistake could cost him. When MC thought about the small boy she had met, no part of her brain wanted to picture what had led him to such a lonely life. And his brother… was he all right? She remembered that he apparently couldn't walk very well. He would limp whenever he did and for most part of the time Saeyoung had carried him on his back. What had happened to them?

She threw the eggs in the frying pan. It was going to be a good day. No depressive thoughts, no getting angry, it would be just her, classical music and her long essay about female artists' influence in Korean art. It had been a long battle for her to get her arrogant teacher to let her do the essay about the theme and there was no way that she would let a crazy ginger boy get in the way. Yes, she was worrying about him and hoped that he would be fine, but she would not throw her essay away just because of that boy. Yes. She had to concentrate.

“That’s why, you are going to get a grip, Myung Chae” she told herself, filling her bowl with rice, tofu and topping it with her soft fried eggs “He is just a friend, _even_ if he is saying that nothing ever mattered or whatever. You will worry for him, but no soaking around because he was mean.” she sat on the table, turning on Metube “Just watch some gameplays and go finish that essay”

MC managed to concentrate. Of course, the messenger was open at all times so that she could see whenever someone - no one in specific - logged in. Just to check. 

At 9:32, Seven was online. Shaking, she entered the chatroom to see him, but before she could ask him if he was all right, she noticed that he was behaving… just as happy as the other days. This made her worry even more, even if he made up something about feeling sentimental at night because of the moon or whatever. He was not fine. People did not change like that in a matter of hours. He was lying, pretending to be fine not to worry anyone. But she was worried anyways. Jumin did not help much also, advicing Seven to suppress his emotions. What reckless advice. It made her wonder what had Jumin gone through in order to think in that way.

707: Oh my God

707: It really makes you want to travel to the moon…

MC: Yes… Let’s make a spaceship so that we can go to the moon some day

707: Oh…! That sounds fun! haha

707: I’m always up for adventure!

Suddenly, she was smiling again. He is just a friend, she told herself once more. Just a friend.

. . .

Seven stretched. Another night with no sleep, but he was fine. He _was_ fine. After seeing everyone worrying about him, it had been the sign that he had talked too much. MC had some sort of weird effect over him, that was dangerous. Actually, catastrophic. But now, everything was fine, great, spectacular. At least, he just had to make people believe it was. For 22 years all he had done was pretend, it was nothing out of the ordinary.

He reached out for a bag of chips that was on the top of his desk.

“Don’t you dare” Vanderwood pulled the bag out of Seven’s hands “You’ll eat real food, not this industrialized crap” he pushed a rice and beef bowl in front of him, throwing the chopsticks over the table and pulling up a chair for him.

“You smoke. Who are you to criticize my industrialized crap?” Seven teased, digging into his bowl “Really, vegetables?”

“I smoke, drink and it is all to cope with you” Vanderwood moved his chopsticks threatenly “Now, eat. Your brain does not work properly because of this shit you keep stuffing yourself with. I did not teach you how to use chopsticks for you to just eat junk food”

Seven laughed. Vanderwood was weird and grumpy at most times, but he was fine. Almost as a friend, but he would probably kill Seven if he was ever called him that.

After lunch, he dug back into work. That was his life, eat, sleep - when he could -, work and take care of the RFA… and Myung Chae. Why was the girl in his head so much? It was almost as if she had hacked his mind and Seven surely hoped that was not the case. At every second he wanted to call her and talk to her, ask her if she was safe, if she was eating well, sleeping well, feeling well. No. He couldn’t. Seven knew the risks when he took the job. That was his life and it had no room for Myung Chae. Not even a small space.

When Vanderwood left the room, he opened the apartment server. It was not much, just a check-up. 

The RFA server was fine. 

The CCTV presented nothing wrong whatsoever. 

The apartment security server was in order. 

The special security system…

The numbers had changed. The last log registered a couple hours before. It had been reseted and restarted during the night. Seven froze, unable to move one muscle from the shock. Someone had hacked his minutiously encrypted security system. That was bad. Terrible. That meant that this person could break in. It meant… It meant that Myung Chae was in danger.

He flipped his phone out of his pocket, barely looking at the many messages arriving on screen as he looked for her contact.

It rang once.

Please, MC. Pick up.

It rang twice.

For all that is good in this world, please, be safe.

It rang for the third time.

MC… God, let her be safe.

“Hello? You called just in time, I am baking the best homemade cookies of all times. You really should put a video call feature in this app, then I could show you. They have chocolate drops and N&Ns, they look great!” 

Her voice was soft and cheerful as always, filling his years with what he could only describe as the most joyous melody on Earth. She was safe, for now. His unsettling heart seemed to calm down, but it still sent him the most important message of all: she is in danger still.

“Seven?” she called “Are you all right?”

“Thank god you picked up! Just stay there! No matter what you do, just… Stay in the apartment”

He was shivering, his legs felt as if they would give away at any minute as he ran around the bunker, stuffing his belongings on the shabby bags.

“Wha-”

“The security system got hacked” he said, blunt. There was no reason for trying to make it better than it was “I don’t know what the hell is going on. Things are really bad right now… God…” he pushed his hair back to move it away from his eyes “Just don’t move and wait for me inside the apartment.”

“Please explain what’s-” her voice quivered, nervously oscillating.

“Regardless of what, I’ll make sure to protect you.” he stopped. That was not working, he should not be like that, panicked, scaring her even more. He knew how to calm people and that was not it. Even if he felt dreadful, MC would be feeling even worse “I promise you’ll be safe, MC. I swear to you. Just… be safe until I get there. Stay inside and lock your door. You’ll know when it’s me, I have a spare key. Stay calm and safe.” he took a deep breath “I’m sorry. This was all my fault. I… I couldn’t be perfect. I got so distracted and… No. I don’t have time for this. I’ll be right there.” he kept shoving the equipment on the bags “You have to be safe… you have to, please… Please don’t get hurt”

“Saeyoung, wait-”

He turned it off before realising that she had called him with the name that he had, so long ago, left behind.

. . .

MC paced around the apartment, carrying her bowl of fresh baked cookies. She did not know what to do after the hurried call she received from Seven. Should she clean up? Should she hide in the closet? 

Without letting go off the bowl, she hurried to the front door, locking it and double checking it. Next, she moved to closing all the windows in the apartment. At last, she grabbed her computer, her cookies and settled in bed. She was safe in there, it was fine. It was a safe street and a safe building, in a safe neighbourhood. Safe. Besides, Seven was on his way. This made her feel even better.

Slowly, she reached into the bowl and ate one of her cookies. soon the whole bowl would be gone, she ate a lot when she was stressed out. MC jumped when the app buzzed announcing an open chatroom.

707: Myung

707: I don’t have much time, but I had to say this to you.

707: I’m leaving right now, I’ll be there as soon as I can

707: Don’t even move from the apartment.

707: I need to leave now because of Vanderwood.

707: I’ll come back

707: Just trust me and hang in there

MC: Seven, wait!

707: Sorry

707: I have to go

707: Hang in there

. . .

Zen was the first one to call. The phone barely rang before MC placed it in her years and met the warm voice of the actor.

“Oh, that was fast!” he laughed “It barely rang. How are you holding up?”

Tears flooded her eyes. Not well, she thought. 

“I’m fine, I guess…” she took a deep breath “I am a bit scared, though”

“Of course you are! Have you read what he sent in here? That’s not the right way to talk to a lady!”

MC laughed. “Because you do know the best way to talk to a lady, right?”

“Of course I do” he assured “Now, hear me, all right? Seven is quirky and all, but he is a good person. You’ll be safe with him. And if you ever need some help, I’ll go running to you, all right? I know it sounds like it’s just talk, but I really will”

. . .

Jaehee followed him. She reached out through the messages, always so attentive.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as they talked about a romance movie that was about to come out 

Jaehee: I imagine how stressful this situation is to you

Jaehee: I hope that you can clear your head, even for a bit

MC: Thank you. 

MC: I am a bit scared, to be honest, but I trust Seven

Jaehee: You really should. 

Jaehee: Seven jokes a lot, but he is reliable

Jaehee: We do not know the address, but I assure 

you that we are all sending our best thoughts to you.

MC: Thank you, Jaehee

MC: You're very kind

Jaehee: That’s nothing

Jaehee: In times like this, we must stick together

Jaehee: Please, keep me updated

. . .

Time did not seem to pass to Myung Chae. She tried distracting her mind with a diverse array of activities such as drawing, painting, reading, watching something on Nightflix or MeTube, but to no avail. All she could think of were those trashy horror movies she watched with her highschool friends of home intruders that terrified their victims before brutally murdering them. That was not the best thought for the moment, but it felt very close. At those movie sessions, they would always list everything they would have done if they were the character about to die, but at that moment, she could not think of even one item of the list. 

Everything took longer than she remembered, moved slower than she thought. Even movies she had already seen had to be stopped because they were much longer than before. MC felt stuck in that place and time, unable to fast it forward.

Suddenly, her cellphone lit up and she could see Yoosung’s notification on the screen. He had opened a chatroom.

The younger boy seemed so worried about her and Seven. She wanted to tell him that everything would be fine soon, but MC was unable to formulate that. She was scared, more than she had ever been in her life. Still, Yoosung was sweet and kind, assuring her that everything would work out and that Seven would save her. She hoped that would be true. Seven seemed to always call himself the denfer of justice and that was exactly what she needed at that moment. 

Jumin did not take long before joining the chat and he seemed to her very upset, to say the least. For the first time since she joined, she saw him question his childhood friend’s decisions as V seemed to be unreachable in the middle of the crisis. Where could he be? Still, he released valuable information that was quickly noted by her and pinned to her “wall of facts” as she called it, among every single information about the RFA.

Even after laughing at Yoosung’s crisis about making kimchi with his mother, MC felt nervous. When was Seven going to get there?

. . . 

“Hello? Thank God you picked up” Seven’s voice resonated from the other side of the line “Nothing’s going on, right?”

MC curled up above her bed, smiling as she heard the comforting voice one more time. 

“No, nothing” she answered, controlling herself not to let her voice tremble. “I am really scared, but that’s all. I mean, who wouldn’t be?”

She could hear him sigh on the other side, his voice sounded tired.

“God… I can’t believe I’ve put you in this situation. Wait until I get to that hacker.” he forced his voice playfully into a serious tone “I’ll chase him down after this, you know? I’m gonna make him take responsibility for scaring you like that and make him apologize to you”

The young woman giggled softly, unaware that this simple act made him smile. That was what he was good at, he had many years of training in making people cheer up in the darkest hours. 

“Now, you have to let me know if you hear any strange noise, okay?” he said “I’m taking all the equipment I need to fix the system, but I can’t take my car up to the building, so I’m running to you now. In about ten minutes I’ll be there.”

She braced herself. “Don’t hang up yet. Talk to me a bit, please” she asked “Why can’t you bring your car?”

“The hacker can chase me if I do, it’s too risky. And the agency… No. Nevermind that.” Seven shook it off “Look, you’ll be safer if I get there faster, so I must hang up now. I still don’t have a third mechanical arm to help me carry everything while I talk on the phone” he giggled “I know this will sound like a lie… but nothing bad will happen, all right? Let’s believe that. I’ll make sure that you are safe. See you soon!”

The phone went mute. MC hugged her legs, opening another social media. Ten minutes. That was fine. She could wait that long, she had waited for hours already. 

Being in danger was a weird concept. As a child, MC had lived “dangerous situations” such as deciding to push a cardbox with her and her best friend inside down the steepest hill of the village. That was being in danger, but she had only realized it after her grandmother grounded her. Or the times when she was bullied at school. That was danger at some level, but still… It was nothing compared to the risk of having an intruder in the house. The absolutely worst part was the waiting, hoping that nothing bad would happen until Seven arrived. For the first time, MC wondered if it had been a good idea to go to that apartment after all. 

She looked at her investigation wall. Perhaps it was better to take it down and hide it somewhere. The last thing she needed was to try to explain to Seven what the hell was that. As she pulled one pin out of the wall, there was a loud announcement in the apartment.

_The special security system will be acti... acti… act…_

A loud crash came from her side, making her fall back from the scare. She turned around and breaking through the smashed window was the slick figure of a young man. His hair was white with pink tips. He dressed casually, having a mask covering the lower part of his face and wearing a leather jacket over a plain white shirt. He was tied to a single rope. MC was on the fourteenth floor. She thought she had been irrational when she closed all the windows, but apparently she was not such a thing. 

“Gosh… I didn’t plan on making a sound but I guess I failed on that” he murmured, more to himself than to her. As he jumped inside the apartment, his bright mint colored eyes met hers “Hey, miss. Stay right there, you’ll hurt yourself if you step on glass”

The most unsettling factor was how casual he sounded. Oh, I broke your window. Oh, I’m breaking into your apartment. Oh, I am a crazy psychopath who will probably kill you just like in the movies. She stood up, reaching out for the lamp placed besides the bed and pointing it to the hacker. There was no universe in which Myung chae would be kidnapped without putting up a fight.

“Don’t… Don’t you dare come closer to me” she said, trying to sound much bolder than she actually was “Stay right where you are”

Ten minutes. She had to stall him for ten minutes. Maybe even a bit less.

Seeing her trying to defend herself like that, desperately holding the lamp and trying to be menacing, made him laugh. 

“I guess you are not that weak, after all” he kept moving forward, stepping over the shards of glass and inching closer to the bed “Do you have any idea of how ridiculous you look standing like that? As if you could hurt me” he scoffed “It’s no surprise that idiot chose you to do the job for us.”

She shifted from one leg to another, without breaking eye contact. Her entire life she had dealt with bullies, but that was just another level. And self defense classes did not have the “crazy hacker attack” category. 

“Who… Who are you?” she stuttered, backing away a few steps.

“At least you do something to try and stand up for yourself instead of keep whimpering in the corner” he ignored her

“Who are you?” she yelled. MC was shaking and her heart felt as if it would jump off her chest.

The young man stopped in front of her, just a few centimeters away from the tip of the lamp, watching her with an amused grin on his face.

“You truly don’t remember… Well, I can’t blame you, especially since you met that pathetic excuse of a human being. That’s not me anymore, did you know, Myung Chae?” he pulled the mask down, letting it hang below his chin.

MC felt confused. His thin chin and slick body type, he remembered her of someone, but she could not pinpoint who. Besides, she had never met someone with mint eyes in her whole life. So why was he familiar to her? Who he made her remember of?

“You look fairly the same. The dumb look on your face did not change, neither those… nauseating kind eyes” he paced around before looking at her again “Am I not helping you to remember? Well, I hope you had the same trouble remembering that stupid red head. Come here” he pulled the lamp out of her hands and grabbed her arm, forcing her to get down. She struggled but to no avail, he was holding her arm too tightly “What is it? I can’t hold your hand anymore? Only nasty weaklings have such a privilege?” she kept struggling as he pulled her, unable to comprehend what he was talking about “Or should I keep crying because I depend on filthy traitors to protect myself? Are you going to offer me some fish shaped crap too?”

Myung Chae stopped. No. It could not be. She looked up to take another look at his face. She knew who he remembered her of, but it could not be. Seven had a twin, but… he was a sweet child. Such a sweet child.

“S-Saeran?” she stuttered, her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

“Oh, he is very glad that you remembered now” he scoffed “We’ll have a lot of fun, you and me… Once we get to Magenta we’ll have all the time in the world” he began dragging her towards the window.

“I’m not going anywhere” she struggled, but he was too strong “Let me go!” she began crying.

“No, no. You don’t have a say in this. I was the one who brought you into the RFA and now I am the one who will get you out. Someone like you will only be crushed in this terrible reality. Magenta is the only place for a weakling like you”

MC tried pushing him away, releasing herself from his grip. She looked around, trying to find anything that she could use to defend herself, but there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. But she would never go without a good fight. She had to stall him for Seven. Seven. Where was him? 

_The special security system has been acti... acti… act… The special security system has been deactivated_

“Holy crap, that was tough” Seven’s voice came through the hallway as he closed the door. “The guy did a sloppy work, but God, he managed to complicate my algorithm even more.”

“Seven!” MC screamed “Help!”

He bursted along the narrow hallway, slamming the bedroom door open to see MC being dragged by a strange man towards the window. How the man had managed to break the window was not the point at the moment. He had to save MC. She could not be harmed because he had not been fast enough.

“Why are _you_ here?” the man asked.

“Look, hacker guy. This is way out of line. I don’t know what the hell you want or who you work for, but I am sure that we can reach a compromise and no one will be hurt” Seven said, slowly walking inside the bedroom “Why don’t we…” he stopped, frozen into place.

It could not be. He looked at the boy’s hair, face, eyes. No. It could not be. Seven was unable to find strength to think or speak, staying still and staring at the figure in front of him. V promised that he would be safe, Rika had sent him the photos, there was no way… There was no way. Still, something was changed. That was his brother, but something wasn’t right. His eyes… They had missed that sparkle of light Saeran always had within him. What had they done to his brother? Had any of his sacrifices meant anything? What had they done?

“Saeran?”

The man scoffed “ _You._ I prayed so much to not meet you, because it would just remind me of that pathetic excuse of a life I used to have.”

Seven took one step towards him. “What… What happened to you, Saeran? Why… Why are you here?” he ruffled his hair “When the hell did you learn how to hack, who taught you that? Rika told me-”

“Don’t you dare say that name” he yelled, holding MC by her neck closer to his torso “Don’t you dare say anything to me with that lying mouth of yours” he backed away, walking towards the window”

“No. Stop, please” Seven took another step towards him “Why are you doing this, Saeran, please, talk to me. Something bad happened, right? Is that why… But, Rika would never lie to me like that. She and V told me…”

“I said shut up” he yelled “You are a liar. You don’t have the right to talk”

“I’m not lying!” Seven yelled back, desperation tones appeared in his voice

“You are not?” Saeran asked “Very well then. What about that promise about protecting me, about being together forever? What about that? Or that last filthy move, telling me that you would not let her hurt us anymore, that we would escape and live a happy life? I remember it all. Have you forgotten it just like you forgot me?”

Each word brought back a scar that Seven had buried deep in his heart. His brother. His loving, caring and kind brother. What had they done to him? It had been over six years since they had last seen each other. That was not supposed to be how they would meet again. He thought his brother was safe, being cared for. But he wasn’t. Apparently, Saeran was far from that.

“I… I had no choice” Seven stuttered “I don’t know what people told you, but… I thought you were well, I thought you were safe! Rika even sent me a photo and you were so happy, laughing. There was not one day when I did not pray for you to be happy…

“Shut up!”

“You hate me right now, right?” Seven asked “I don’t know why you chose her to do this, I don’t know if you remember her, Saeran, but she has nothing to do with me and you.”

“Oh, she does. It’s Myung Chae” Saeran answered, pinching her cheeks “I needed someone to infiltrate without raising any suspicion and who better than she? Naive and stupid Myung Chae. The only person that never lied to the pathetic old me.” he looked back to his brother “You have feelings for her, don’t you?”

Seven looked at MC. Even if she was trying to be strong, it was clear that the girl was terrified. Who wouldn’t be. He had feelings for her. Yes, he did. Ever since they met her, he did. But it did not matter. 

“You do.” he laughed, throwing his head back “And that’s why I am saving her from you. She is weak and someone like you will only bring her pain and sorrow. I am taking her to the place that is right for people like her. Don’t worry, soon she won’t even remember you anymore”

_A stranger has been located._

Saeran backed a few steps, dragging MC with him “What is this?”

“It’s the special security system… I restarted it and it’s only starting to work now…” Seven answered.

_Sensed location of stranger… adjusting target…_

“It’s sensing you as a stranger, Saeran.” he continued “The whole place will explode if you stay here, just get out!”

_Backing up all information… After the backup is complete, the bomb will be activated. 20 seconds left…_

The young man was startled and this gave MC her chance. Without a second thought, she bit Saeran’s hand with all her strength, forcing him to let go of her. She ran towards Seven, being held in his embrace.

“Come here. Good” he whispered, holding her tight.

_15… 14…_

“Saeran… why did we have to meet like this?” Seven looked at his twin.

“Shit, shit! This is all your fault!” Saeran yelled

_10… 9…_

“Get out!” Seven yelled “You’ll die if you stay!”

“Shit” Saeran screamed one last time, running past them to the corridor and vanishing from the apartment for once.

The couple remained still as the security system announced it was readjusting itself. In some situations, silence seemed impossíble to be filled, not merely for the lack of words, but for the lack of proper words that could express what they truly felt. Usually, those situations are the ones that bring out people’s deepest fears and feelings, forcing them to face something they wish no one else would see and that themselves would forget. But neither of them did. They were silent until MC cried. It had been too much for her. Saeyoung snapped back to reality upon feeling her shivering in his arms. He had work to do. She was safe. Concentrate. Concentrate. Talk to her. Now.

“Shhh” he hugged her tighter “It’s over now. Breathe. Just breathe. Focus on my heartbeat, all right? Just focus on it.” he stroked her hair. 

Saeran was back. That was his brother. He was not safe, he was not happy. He was hurt. But that was not the time for that.

As he sat on the floor, holding MC tight, Saeyoung Choi felt that he needed answers. He had to talk to V. But that could wait. Just like her, he needed a moment to breathe.

. . . 

**Bonus (because I could not fit this flashback anywhere else)**

**Chopsticks**

Seven dragged his feet on the ground below him. Vanderwood had been gone for fifteen minutes by then and airports were not that fun. He pulled his phone out. They had given him one at the intelligence agency. Looking down at the messages he had exchanged with V, he thought about Saeran, but soon scolded himself for doing so. He was not supposed to. It had been six months already. He was safe with noona and hyung. 

“Hey, kid” Vanderwood called, standing a few feet away from him “Come on”

Seven placed his backpack on his back, walking towards the older agent.

“Did you finish ruining your lungs already?” he asked

“Will you stop?” Vanderwood said “Good for you if you don’t like cigars, it’s better like that, but don’t meddle in my life”

Of course he hated cigars. The smell reminded him of her just as alcohol did, and he had been lucky to be trained by an agent that did both the drinking and the smoking. He still could not figure out what Vanderwood’s deal was. Sure, he had never seen him drunk and even if he had seen him hurting people, it had never been him, so that already made him trust him a bit more, but still, the boy could not pinpoint what he wanted out of life.

“We need to eat something before taking the plane,” Vanderwood said as they walked through the packed airport “It will be a long flight to the US and you do want to stay as far as possible from airplane food, especially since you told me you’ve never flown on a plane before.”

Seven kept silent, following him around. He knew that Vanderwood had been an agent since he was young too. Not as young as him, but still young. He was seven years older than him and much taller. Sometimes, he presented himself very seriously, but there were moments when he would make jokes that made Saeyoung laugh.

“There” Vanderwood said, pointing to one restaurant “Looks like a good place and” he pointed to a sign that said they accepted payment in money. “A lesson for your life. We don’t leave traces. No credit cards, cash only”

They sat at one of the tables. Seven had never eaten in a restaurant before, so he eagerly pulled up the menu and began to look through the options. 

“I’d like one hamburger, please” he said to the waiter that came to take their order.

“No, you don’t” Vanderwood pulled the menu out of the boy’s hands “We’d like two meat bibimbaps, please, and, also, two cokes.”

Before Seven could protest, the waiter went away.

“I… That’s not what I ordered” the boy said.

“I know” Vanderwood leaned back “But for six months I’ve only seen you eating things that can be eaten with your hands, which are pretty unhealthy. But since I need to keep you alive and we will have missions when we need to infiltrate, I’d like to solve that pretty quickly. So, what’s the deal here?”

“What happened with the ‘not knowing things about each other’ talk?” he asked, feeling his face burn up.

“I’m not asking you to tell me your tragic backstory” Vanderwood said “I am asking you to tell me what is your problem. You can either tell me what is it and we solve it out now or I’ll figure it when food arrives”

He pulled his cellphone out, taking his attention off the boy. Seven was angry at him, very angry. He did not need any help, he was doing fine on his own, as he had always been. Vanderwood had no right meddling in like that, if he needed help he would have asked for it. But he didn’t want to tell him. They were silent until food arrived. Without a word, Vanderwood began eating. Seven looked down at his plate. Food looked good, but there was only a pair of chopsticks near the bowl. Forks would not be of any help either. The boy was ashamed of telling him why.

“I don’t know how to use chopsticks” he murmured, without raising his eyes. 

There was silence. Vanderwood raised his eyes, staring at the boy, but Seven kept looking down. He did not want to talk about that with him. For sure he would end up at some conclusion that he was too dumb to learn that and it was the last thing he wanted to hear.

“Use a fork, then, there’s no big deal” Vanderwood said.

“I don’t know how to use it either” Seven answered “We didn’t have those at my home”

He waited for the joke. For sure Vanderwood would have something to say, Seven hoped that he would still be kinder than the other jerks from the agency. The last thing he needed was to be mocked at that moment.

“Well, then you need to learn” Vanderwood answered “Come on, pick the chopsticks up. You gotta learn before your classes at the US start”

“What?” he did not understand why Vanderwood was being so casual about that.

“People come from all sorts of backgrounds, kid” Vanderwood answered “Life is tough. I know that, believe me. It’s all right. Like you hating the smell of cigars or alcohol, it’s fine. But it can’t turn out to be an actual issue, at least not for people like us. it’s hard, but we need to power through it. Now, come on, get the damn things, let me teach you.

Saeyoung allowed himself to smile for a bit. Vanderwood was really really cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe!!


	6. Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC and Seven are still recovering from the unexpected encounter with Saeran. As questions fill their minds, each one of them tries to cope with the harsh events in their own way

_ The decrepit home was silent. The one room covered in small particles of dust smelled like alcohol and abandonment. The only mattress placed in the corner of the room would never hint that three people inhabited the house, as the only sign of the other two people living there was the neatly folded blanket located on the other corner, placed on the ground right next to an old backpack. There, the two ginger boys sat quietly, absorbed in their own thoughts. _

_ “Saeyoung” the younger called, crawling closer to his twin brother. _

_ “Yes?” the other one answered, raising his head from the thick book he had been reading. _

_ “What are you reading?” _

_ Saeyoung looked down at his book before looking back at his younger sibling. He knew how much Saeran loved reading, even if he was not that good at it and always needed help, but that book was not for him. First, it was not something nice to know, so he did not want Saeran to learn that, and also… Saeran was so sweet and nice, their mom always took advantage of that. Saeran might tell her if she threatened them enough and it could not happen.  _

_ “Well, it’s about computers…” he answered, without really knowing what to say “But, you shouldn’t read it. All I can say is that this will help us get out of here.” _

_ “How?” Saeran asked, trying to take a look at the book, prompting his brother to close it up. _

_ “Just… help us. People can make money with this stuff and that’s what I’m going to do” he placed the book by his side, looking seriously at his brother “Now, Saeran, pretend that you don’t know about this, all right? Mom can never know about the book. I don’t want her to hurt you more than she already does.” _

_ Saeran flinched. He did not want that either. Sometimes, he did not comprehend what his older twin planned, but he knew that Saeyoung was much smarter than him, so for sure he was always right.  _

_ “But what if she ends up being mean to you?” Saeran asked, fidgeting with his brother's bony fingers. _

_ “It doesn’t matter what happens to me” Saeyoung answered, fidgeting with Saeran’s finger’s as well “As long as you are safe, I’ll be fine” he smirked, turning around to face his brother “Besides… You know, I am much smarter than mom anyways, so she’ll never catch me” _

_ Saeran giggled, making Saeyoung smile. Even if life was hard, the two boys managed to have fun on their own way.  _

_ “Now, what’s wrong?” Saeyoung asked “You have that sad look again” _

_ Saeran sighed, looking down “I’m just hungry, that’s all” _

_ “Didn’t you eat while I was out?” Saeyoung asked _

_ His brother shook his head “I cried because I saw a big spider today and mom got mad. She scolded me for being loud and didn’t give me any food”  _

_ Hearing that, Saeyoung got terribly angry. That woman. That horrible woman. He turned around, taking a plastic bag out of his backpack and handing it to Saeran. The boy was already used to the idea of providing for him and his brother. Their mother had never been any sort of parent for them, but he knew people who were.  _

_ “It’s bread!” Saeran exclaimed, pulling the loaf out of the bag “And it’s so soft and crunchy… it’s nothing like the old bread mom gives us” he looked back to Saeyoung “Thank you! Did you get it at church?” _

_ Saeyoung nodded, taking the bread out of his twin’s hands and parting it for him, stuffing the rest back inside the backpack. Saeran’s eyes glimmered at the sight of fresh food, making Saeyoung smile, even if he held his heart tight inside his chest. He loved his brother so much and seeing him in those rare days when he was healthy was enough to keep him going. He had one advantage that Saeran had never received: the ability of going out more often than his brother. That was the only chance the boys had of surviving the hell they lived in, the only chance both of them had of being free one day. It was all over Saeyoung’s shoulders, he knew that. As much as he knew that he would always be responsible for his brother’s safety. _

_ Saeran laid on his lap, munching the bread slowly, savoring each bite. “Can you tell me again how is it on church? About the nice people?” _

_ “Sure” Saeyoung smiled, stroking his brother’s hair “It is a large building. The windows are all decorated with beautiful drawings made of glass. There I meet two very nice people. First, there is Rika-noona. She is really short, even shorter than you. Her hair is golden like the sun and her eyes are as green as fresh grass. Noona is really smart and knows a lot about many things. She is the one that taught me how to read, as you know, and she will teach you too when we go away. Also, she is always smiling and being kind to everyone. Her boyfriend is V-hyung. His hair and eyes are mint colored, which is already very weird, and he is so tall, Saeran! You have no idea how tall he is. He is in college and is studying photography, but he is already a professional photographer, he works with it and even has expositions, did you know? People pay to go and see his photos because they are so beautiful. Both of them are very kind and helping us to get away from here. They like us very much Saeran, even if they still don’t know you in person. Actually, they cannot wait to meet you.” _

_ “Really? They said that?” Saeran asked “Maybe they think I’m nice and cool like you… I think they’ll be disappointed when they see me” _

_ Saeyoung scoffed. “What are you talking about? You are way cooler than me.” he smiled “They really do love you and me so much, I’m telling you” _

_ Saeran sat up, looking at his twin. “Like… parents in the movies?” _

_ “Yeah. Like parents in the movies”  _

. . .

MC sat at her table, staring at the tea cup Seven - Saeyoung? - had prepared for her. It had been more than an hour since Saeran ran away. Since she was almost kidnapped. For a while, they sat on the ground together, Saeyoung did not let go of her until she stopped crying and even so, he had been very attentive of her. Making her tea, watching over her as she slowly sipped it, trying to get her thoughts together. It all felt unreal to her. She was almost kidnapped, but not only that. He had almost been kidnapped by one of the boys she played with when she was a child, because they were back. It was them, it was most certainly them and it was, at the same time, a wonderful and creepy news. And it all felt unreal. It was as if she had just woken up from a bad dream, still trying to get a grip of what was reality and what had been just a result of her subconscious. Except that there was no bad dream this time. It was real. She would not wake up in her bed, shivering but grateful to finally be awake. That was her real situation and she would have to deal with it; even if she was terrified, nothing would change if she kept on soaking around.

Seven was standing with his back against the counter, looking to the wall in front of him and holding the cup of tea in his hands. The light of dusk that managed to creep through the window reflected in his ginger hair, making it even brighter. He was having a hard time. That was Saeran. His little brother. The boy for whose happiness he had given up everything without second thought. For more than six years they were forced apart and he thought that he was safe, this being the only thing that fueled him to keep going, enduring the dirty hacking jobs he did for that filthy agency, enduring so many risky missions, enduring the hollow scar made in his chest ever since.

_ “I’ll be back soon, I promise,” he had said. “Please, be good, all right? Be brave and good and take care of yourself. It’ll be just a couple of hours, but I want you to be safe. Promise me you’ll be brave if mom is mean again. I love you, Saeran. I love you so much. Go back to sleep now, it’s still early. I’m just going to get those things on the market for mom. You don’t need to be afraid if I’m not here when you wake up because I’m coming back, you know that I am.” _

He had never been able to tell his brother that he was not leaving for a quick trip to the market. He thought he would be happy, that rika and V had taken good care of him, protected him, given him all the love and care neither of them had ever received. What had they truly done to his brother? Why was Saeran like that? His hair, his eyes… That weird organization he was working for. V had told him that Saeran was safe, he had seen the photos Rika had sent him. 

“It’s really you, isn’t it?” MC asked, looking at him “Saeyoung Choi?”

Seven did not answer right away. He took a long sip out of his mug.

“It doesn’t matter” he answered at last.

“No, it does” she responded “Because I was almost kidnapped. This gives me the right to know what the hell is going on here and what happened that suddenly the two brothers I played with when I was 10 years old are back into my life. Please, Saeyoung. I need an answer.”

Seven looked at her, staring deep into her caramel eyes. 

“Yes. It's me” he said, averting his eyes “And that… that…” he signaled the shattered window “That was my brother.” he gazed back at her “I don’t really have answers MC, and the ones I do have are way too personal, so I’m sorry. You are safe now, all right? That’s what matters. And about Saeran… I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what happened to him and I am sorry. I really am.”

MC lowered her eyes back to her mug. It was a complicated situation and she could not pinpoint where she fitted on it. But she was sure of one thing: she had to help. It was not as if she could just walk away, she was already involved in too deep. There was no way for her to back out, so she should make herself useful.

“How can I help you?” she asked “I’m good at investigation games, stuff like that. I mean, it’s nothing compared to being a secret agent, but I can help you with research and stuff”

“No” he answered, taking the kettle with him as he walked towards the table and sat across her “You are already more involved than you should, I’m not letting you get even more into this”

She felt as if he had thrown cold water over her with his words.

“Excuse me?” she said, nervously laughing “I am not asking for your permission. I am asking for instructions, because I  _ am  _ going to help you anyways, so, you can either tell me how I can help you or you can endure me throwing random ideas and facts at you until one of them is helpful”

He leaned against the table, tying his fingers and staring deep into her eyes. 

“I’m sorry, did you not listen to what I just said?” he sounded annoyed, running his eyes over her face “It is  _ dangerous. _ You, MC, are in  _ danger _ ”

“Yeah, I noticed that when I was almost kidnapped a couple of hours ago, but thank you for the warning”

“Then use your brain and figure out that this is too dangerous for you. The more involved you are, the harder it will be for me to get you out of this situation” he dabbed his finger against the table “I came to ensure your safety and to protect you, not play detective with you. Therefore, _you_ , the arts student, are not meddling onto anything, whilst _I,_ the agent trained to do this kind of stuff, will solve it and deal with these issues with my brother. As soon as _you_ are safe, _I_ am going to save my brother and disappear from any records. That’s how things are going to work”

He stood up, heading towards the sink with their - now empty - mugs, washing them out. Crazy girl. It was sort of cute that she wanted to help, but no. No. It was too dangerous and she was way too stubborn for them to work together. She seemed to have understood things and that was good. She should keep away from him.

“I am not asking for permission!” she repeated, standing up and crossing her arms in front of her torso “Listen up, ginger boy, I  _ want  _ to help you. Plus, I… I care about you, Saeyoung. I really do. What are you talking about disappearing? Things are not like that-”

“Things are  _ exactly _ like that” he yelled, turning to her “Look, I’m sorry if this doesn’t fit in your plans or whatever, but that’s reality. This is not a game for you to play. It’s real danger and it deals with real people. Someone like you will just end up getting hurt if you try to learn more” he grabbed his bag, throwing it over a counter in the corner “I don’t want to invade your space and I hope you’ll do the same. I’ll work from here, so you can continue doing your stuff, just pretend that I’m not here. I’ll keep you updated if something new comes up.”

MC was silent, staring at him. She was furious, frowning her eyebrows and puffing her cheeks. Jerk, she thought. Yelling at her like that, who he thought he was. Tears came up to her eyes as they always did when she was angry. Without another word, she turned around and went to her bedroom. He would see if she was not going to be helpful.

Saeyoung heard her door slam, but did not look back. She was gone. Crazy girl. Help him. He did not need anyone’s help, the last thing he wanted was for someone to be hurt because of him. He hated yelling and doing it to her was one of the worst things he had done, but he had no other choice. Screams did hurt, he knew that well, and if it was what would take for her to stay away from him and safe, that was what he would do. At least she would not see him cry. He sat on the floor, holding the computer on his lap, hiding his face on his hand and crying more than he had in the last years. Once again he was back to the corner of a room, sobbing silently so that no one would listen.

. . .

_ “Come on, you are being too slow” _

_ Myung Chae ran behind the girl, following her to the top of the hill. The two small nine year olds had her hair braided, a gift from Myung’s grandmother. The girl in the black hair that seemed to lead their quest wore green overalls and a striped purple shirt. Myung, who struggled to reach the top, wore a simple blue dress and a pair of boots. _

_ “Wait! Areum, you are going too fast!” Myung giggled “Unnie!” _

_ “Come on, MC! We’ll never reach the top like that!” the girl urged, laughing and draggin a grass slide behind her. She walked a few steps down to her friend “Come here, sit on the slide, I’ll take you there” _

_ MC accepted the ride, laughing as her friend dragged her uphill. They had left home early that day with the goal of sliding down the highest hill of the village as much as they could before lunchtime. As they reached the top, they were met by a group of children that lived in the same village as them. _

_ “Areum! MC!” They all greeted. _

_ “What are you doing?” Areum asked, waiting for MC to hop off the slide in order for them to go towards the group. _

_ “We are looking for those little beetles that shine in the dark” one of the boys said “We wanna put them in a jar and see them glow” _

_ “That’s so cool, can we help?” Areum asked as MC stood shyly by her side. _

_ There was silence among the children. _

_ “Well, you can, Areum” one girl said “But, well…” _

_ “MC is just too noisy” one of the boys said, stepping up “She’ll just mess everything up. She is not good at things like that” _

_ MC looked down, feeling the tears come to her eyes. Before she cried, Areum grabbed her hand and began pulling her towards their slide once more. _

_ “Well, have fun with your stupid game, then” Areum said, without looking back “You are all too lame to play with us anyways” _

_ “Unnie?” MC called “What…” _

_ “They are stupid for not letting someone play with them” she sat on the slide, inviting MC to sit by her side “Come on, MC. They don’t deserve cool friends like you and me” _

_ Myung giggled before sitting by Areum’s side. Areum was really cool. She was one year older than her, but the two girls had been inseparable since MC arrived at the village when she was six years old. Areum was her big sister and her best friend in the world. Even when the other children were mean to MC, she always had Areum to take care of her. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe!!


	7. Pinky Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you so much for every access, comment, kudos and bookmark, it all means so much to me!
> 
> I hope you all continue to enjoy the fic and give feedback!

Seven paced around in front of her door. It had been already three hours since she locked herself in her room. Perhaps he had been too harsh… No. That was safe. He was putting sense in her head and keeping her safe. But yelling had been a bit too much. He was stressed, she was stressed as well with the whole situation, and there were other ways for him to deal with her being such a stubborn girl. Plus, him apologizing would never mean anything besides the fact that he was a nice human being that acknowledged the fact that he had been rude to another human being. Just that. Still, it was hard. 

Fidgeting with his hands, he seemed unable to reach out and knock.  _ You have feelings for her, don’t you?  _ Did he? Did it matter? He was not the ideal person for her. All he wanted was for her to be safe and happy, his kind of life did not allow any of that. He was never even meant to be born, people like him had no right of loving or being loved. The best he could do for her was to find her a safe way out of that situation. It was his fault anyways. Someone had done that with his brother, made Saeran forget everything, implanted those twisted ideas in his mind. It had nothing to do with her.  _ The only person that never lied to the pathetic old me.  _ Saeran remembered her, it seemed. Maybe even better than he remembered him. She was kind, indeed. One of the kindest people they had met in their twisted childhood. Did the person who had done that to Saeran know about her? Or did he choose her by himself? Stop. That’s not the point right now. The door. Focus on the door.

“Just do it” he murmured to himself “Knock on the door. It’s no big deal, just casual. Just knock, she’ll open and you will look into her eyes…” she did have beautiful eyes “Apologize” but how?

Apologies meant to be truthful, and truthfulness meant to be vulnerable, something that Seven had never been fond of. He was not vulnerable. He protected people so that they could be vulnerable, but never him. Since he was little, he had been the one who would stand up and take the harder blow so that his brother could at least have the minimum dignity to survive. There was no idea of vulnerability in his life. That had never been his part. He was already dealing with much of his past, it was personal. Too personal. What would he even say after “I’m sorry”? When was even the last time he apologized for something? In his job there was much to apologize for, but he would never be able to. He did what he was paid to do, if he started to feel bad for it he would never be able to continue. When he was a child apologies were frantically stuttered in the dark in a desperate attempt to avoid another beating. He was not good at truthful apologies. Those were not for people like him, either. 

Still, he had to say something. “I was nervous because of my brother”. No, that would invite questions. “I am sorry, it’s just that I am really worried about you and the thought of losing you is absolutely terrifying”. Definitely no, the only thing missing in this one is a bouquet of roses and an “I love you”. 

“Get a grip and knock” he told himself “Just wing it along the way”

He stood still in front of the door, taking a deep breath. He could do it. Slowly, he raised his hand, ready to knock. AS he gave it the proper impulse, it moved forward and, before it could touch the wood, the door opened, revealing a concerned looking MC who had just stepped outside the door. 

MC had spent hours researching about Mint Eye, sitting in her bed with the computer on her lap, she tried to find any sort of information. She knew a bit about cult-like organizations because of American investigative series. For sure, it was not the same - at least she hoped - but she tried to find a pattern in their recruiting, perhaps even a website or something like that, maybe a testimony of someone that had been part of the cult and ran away. Still, even if she kept herself busy, she could not stop thinking about the redhead sitting in the living room. Seven had been awful with her and she was angry with him. But… Maybe they had all begun with the wrong foot in that situation. He was clearly distressed after seeing his brother, obviously there was a complicated story there that she did not know. MC thought that, maybe, they should talk and sort things out. Perhaps he would even apologize, which he should because he was rude and mean. But as she opened the door she did not expect to find him standing underneath the door frame, being uncomfortably close as he almost fell forward and she barely ran into him.

They stared at each other. Neither of them truly knew what to say. There was not much height difference between them, but it was enough for him to have to look down to stare at her face. His brain seemed to go on red alert. Seven had not anticipated that. Things were not following what he had rehearsed in the hallway. Why did she open her door? He stepped back, stuffing his hands on his pockets. MC backed up too, letting out a soft giggle as she held her own arm with her left hand, crossing it over her belly. 

“Hi,” she said, looking down “Sorry about that. Were you going to say something?” she looked at him, moving the star pendant in her necklace between her fingers.

Seven did not need a mirror to know that he was bright red at that point. He could feel the warmth crawling up his cheeks. She was not supposed to get out of the bedroom, who would ever do that after a fight. She was angry and he was going to apologize, couldn’t she even get angry at him the right way. How would he apologize now? He looked at her. She had the kindest caramel eyes. Why wasn’t she mad at him? 

“I… I…” he stuttered before making a serious face again “I ordered dinner. It’s ready. Eat.”

What the actual hell was that?, he thought. MC frowned a bit, seeming disappointed, but still managed to give him a faint smile.

“Oh, sure. Dinner. That’s…” she smiled brightly and stared deep into his eyes “That’s exactly what I came here for. Dinner. I mean, I’m really hungry and that was what I was about to go prepare.”

She was not frustrated at him. Of course not. She wanted to talk and he had made dinner. It was not as if she expected an apology from him since he was on her door. No. She didn’t. 

He followed her to the kitchen, hands still in his pockets as they walked together down the hall. Apologize to her.

“So, I wanted to talk to you…” he began before noticing the notebook in her hand “What the hell is that?”

“Wow, did you order fried chicken? I love fried chicken!” she exclaimed, leaving the notebook open over the table and ignoring him.

Seven took a look inside. The words Mint Eye were written right on the top of the page. She was doing the investigation. Had she spent the last three hours doing exactly what he told her not to? They did not know if that people had more hackers besides Saeran or how much they had managed to infiltrate in her devices. If she kept meddling in, it could put not only her, but also his brother in danger. How proudful was she? MC was going to get all of them into big trouble, for sure she had not even found any information, just sticking up her nose in places she had never been invited to. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something” she said, placing her plate on the table and taking her seat “I’ve been thinking and…”

“Doing some research?” he asked, heading towards the cabinets and taking a plate for him. 

Seven found it good to know that she had not been mad at him, that she had, in fact, been playing detective and meddling into things he asked her not to. At least he would not have the trouble to apologize anymore. 

“Well, yes, in fact I did” she looked down to the notebook “But there is another thing I’d like to discuss first”

“Do you have any idea of why I asked you to stay away from this stuff?” he asked. No yelling. He was not going to get mad. 

She stood silent for a while, staring at him. Was he really going to behave as if he had not treated her badly just a few hours before? MC looked down at her plate, taking a deep breath. Of course, it was not a big deal. She wanted to set things straight, but of course that it would not work if he did not want to.

“Yeah, you told me about how awful and dangerous it is for me, but tell me again since you were so nice a few hours ago” she sharply said.

“It’s not dangerous  _ just  _ for you. I’m worried about my brother too” he stated, sitting across from her “I don’t know these people, what I’m afraid of is them doing something to Saeran because of you searching them online! We don’t know who we are dealing with, MC, goddammit!”

There was silence again. Once again, he yelled. Shit. He yelled. Seven hated yelling. His last wish was to do anything that resembled that crazy woman. He pulled the notebook and began to ramble through the pages. She had done a good job, she really did. There was not much information, but thanks to her meticulous notes and highlights, he could see it was not her fault. It was not her fault. 

“I did not think about Saeran’s safety” she said, avoiding his gaze “I’m sorry about that”

She was sad. He had made her sad. Seven sighed, looking down. Yelling was always bad, it physically hurt people. He did want her to stay away from him, but not like that. Still, how could he do it any other way. He needed to keep her safe and away from the mess that was their lives.

“The notes are really good” he said, handing her the notebook “I’ll… I’ll take a look at your computer, if it’s okay with you, to see if it’s hacked and the information is being accessed in any way. Then you can search anything and there won’t be any problem, all right?”

“I can use the computer that’s in the apartment. I saw it set up in the corner, but I was afraid of turning it on” she said “V told me that the apartment had many confidential stuff”

“Yeah, that” he nodded, poking one piece of fried chicken with his chopsticks “It was better for you not to touch it. The special security system would probably have gone crazy. Since Rika passed away I double locked everything until V decided to come and clean everything up”

“Yeah, about that” she giggled “The special security stuff, what it really does? I mean, you made it talk about self destruction but what is it, really?”

MC grabbed one piece of chicken, biting into it as she waited for an answer, but there was only silence. When she looked up, Seven was white as a ghost, staring at her.

“What? Is it really confidential stuff?” she asked

“No.” he answered, checking if she had any sharp objects nearby “It’s just this tiny little detail that…” he let out a nervous laughter “I did forget to mention” he leaned back at his chair “I did not lie to Saeran. It’s a bomb”

Myung stopped in the middle of her bite, staring at his golden eyes. Her first reaction was to laugh, incredulous of the apparently absurd joke that Seven was trying to pull on her. It was just like the chocolate milk prank he had pulled on Yoosung a few days before. Absurd and dumb. A bomb in the apartment. But her laugh faded away as he saw him flinching in his chair, waiting for her reaction. A bomb? Was he saying that…

“You’re kidding, right? Who would ever put a bomb inside an apartment, that’s insane” she laughed, but he continued not to join her “Are you serious? We are in here and there is a bomb?” MC was beginning to believe him “A bomb? You placed a bomb inside an apartment? Are you insane?” she yelled “I’ve been living here for the last week and a half! Oh my dear God, are you serious?”

“Everything is under control” he tried to calm her down.

“So when the security system was lagging and giving all those deactivated and activated alerts, I could have exploded and died?” she asked, leaning over the table, making him decide that it was safer to push his seat back.

“Well, yes?” he looked at her and decided that honesty would not be helpful in that situation “No. Never. Everything was under control the whole time”

“Oh my God” she buried her face in her hands “A bomb? What the hell is happening?” 

Before Myung Chae realized, she was crying again. After years of being bullied, she hated to cry in front of people, especially people that had already yelled with her twice, but that time she could not help herself. It had been too much. First the kidnapping, then the yelling and now there was a bomb in the apartment that could have killed her at any time in the last weeks.

“No, Myung, please don’t cry” he came closer to her, but he did not know what to do. He looked down and kneeled near her chair, placing his hand in her arm “Listen to me, all right? Things are hard now and they do seem like a mess” he tried to smile to calm her down “But you are safe. I am going to take care of you and nothing bad is going to happen. I’ll explain the bomb to you, I promise. Just stop crying, please. You are safe, I can guarantee you that. You are safe.” 

Seven did not leave her side while she was crying. He did not want to see her like that, and still there was a part of his brain that told him to leave her there, that he should not get attached, that he had to work and solve things and disappear from her life as quickly as possible. He ignored it. There was no way Saeyoung would let someone cry alone when he was there to help. No one should ever have to cry alone. 

After dinner he helped her to clean everything up, putting the rest of food on the fridge. There was not much more for him to say. She left the room for a few minutes only to return with blankets and a pillow, placing them on the couch.

“What are you doing?” he asked, opening her laptop and starting to scan it for any sort of virus or hacking tracks.

“Just setting everything up for you” she said “You need to sleep somewhere and unless you want to do like me and my friend did when we were kids and share a bed, the sofa is what you got” she laughed

Seven’s brain went to red alert mode once more. Was she flirting? What was that comment about sharing a bed? He looked at the neatly set couch, he had to say something about that. She was being so kind. Again.

“I… Thank you” he said “But really, you did not have to go through the trouble, I mean…”

“How come?” she interrupted “Where would you sleep? On the floor?”

“I am used to that, you don’t need to worry”

“What?”

What had he just said? Myung Chae had to be some sort of powerful wizard to make him say stuff like that. He was not supposed to talk to people, especially about  _ those things.  _

“Just… there is nothing to worry about” he said, jumping up from the chair and going towards her, taking the blanket from her hand “I’ll finish organizing here, thank you again. I’ll give you the laptop back tomorrow, all right? First thing in the morning” he smiled.

“All right. Thank you, Seven” she said “Actually, how do I call you?” MC asked, fidgeting with her fingers “You know, I met you as Saeyoung, and then I did not know if you were actually you and now I know that you are in fact you” she giggled “What do I call you?”

Seven thought for a moment. “Seven is good, for now” he answered.

“All right” she smiled “Good night, agent 707”

“Good night, Myung Chae” he watched her leave and close her door. 

Seven laid back on the couch, covering his face with his hands. 

“What am I doing?” he asked himself, feeling his cheeks burn up once more.

. . .

_ “She’s asleep” _

_ The two boys sat up in the dark, throwing their blanket to the side. Saeran waited for his brother to untie the rope that was attached to their feet. They stood up together as Saeyoung guided his brother towards the front door, the two boys carefully walking in order to not step in any shard of broken glass or accidentally kick one of the scattered bottles. They had to be quiet. When their mother turned around in her sleep, Saeyoung covered his brother’s mouth and pulled him closer to stop him from screaming. Even more quietly, they headed towards the outside world, smiling at the view of the sky. They sat close to each other, near the door, closing it in order for their mother not to hear them outside.  _

_ “Hyung, how many stars do you think exist in the sky?” Saeran asked, leaning over his brother’s shoulder. _

_ “Well… I don’t know” the older boy answered “If I need to guess, I’d say… Eleven billion and three” _

_ “Wow, that’s a lot,” Saeran giggled. “I like the stars. They are just like flowers in the sky.” _

_ “The most beautiful flowers” Saeyoung added, throwing his arm over Saeran’s shoulder and bringing him closer. _

_ The boys were quiet, appreciating the silence and the fresh air. _

_ “I like the silence too” Saeran said “Mom yells too much and whenever she is at home the TV is always so loud. Also, when she gets angry and breaks the bottles… It’s too noisy. I don’t like when it’s loud, it’s scary” _

_ “Well, mom does many things too much” Saeyoung murmured, shifting his gaze to his brother “Hey, I know that today was bad, but… don’t be sad, all right? Look how fun it is to come and see the stars” he stroked his brother’s hair, pushing his bangs off his face “You don’t need to be afraid of her when we are here. Actually, you should pick a star. Anyone you like. We are going right there when we leave here and no mean mom or evil dad will be able to follow us.” _

_ Saeran giggled, looking to the stars. “There! That really shiny one” _

_ “Then that’s where we are going” Saeyoung laughed, relieved that his brother cheered up a little. _

_ More silence followed between them before Saeran spoke again; _

_ “Promise me one thing, hyung?” he asked “Promise that we’ll never yell when we are adults? That we’ll never be mean like mom?” _

_ “Of course I promise” Saeyoung smiled, linking his pinky with his brother’s “We’ll never be like her” _

. . .

“So apparently they are vaguely mentioned in some pages. As you can see I did not find much about them, but I did find a few stuff that we can, in fact, use” MC said, placing one cup of coffee in front of her and another in front of Seven “It seems to be very recent, given the small amount of information I found. There are almost no records of them, except for the name and very few people that posted about weird recruiting messages like the ones we received, but not much more than that.”

“The weirdest thing about them is the lack of traces, then?” Seven took a sip of his coffee, looking back to the laptop monitor.

“Exactly” she answered.

It was 9am. Both of them had woken up early that day as neither had been able to sleep well. She kept having bad dreams about someone entering her bedroom and pulling her out of bed, forcing her to leave the apartment. When she decided to get out of bed, Seven was already up, working on her laptop once again. He felt distant, as if he did not want to talk, and she respected his boundaries. She truly did. Still, she craved for some answers to her questions. Since they had woken up MC had told him about everything she found on Mint Eye, which was not much but seemed to be enough to catch his interest, even if he kept trying to avoid her. The night before had been tough, but she felt that, in the end, they had ended up well. Why was he being so distant? Was she annoying to him?

Suddenly, her phone rang, startling both of them.

“Would you please lower your ringtone volume, it’s hard to concentrate with BTS screaming in the background.” Seven said without raising his eyes from the monitor.

“It’s not BTS, ginger boy” she said, showing him her tongue “It’s Stray Kids” she whispered.

As soon as she placed the phone in her ear she heard the familiar male voice yelling on the other side.

“A bomb? That crazy psycho left you in there with a bomb?”

“Good morning, Zen” she greeted, nervously laughing.

“MC, you must be an angel to be able to say good morning in a situation like this” he said “I am going to kill Seven. Actually, is he there? Put this on speakerphone, let me talk to him”

“I… I think he’s busy, Zen” she said, looking back at Saeyoung “I’ll tell him to call you, all right?”

“Okay” she heard him take a deep breath on the other side of the line “God, those irresponsible dudes. At least he is in there with you, what about V? He should be here by now.”

That seemed to be the big question among the RFA. Where was V? The leader of the association had not manifested himself on the chat since he announced the date for their party, something that MC found very odd and kept noted on her wall. Even if she wanted to trust him, she felt odd about the photographer. He seemed to know much more than he showed.

When the man they called to fix the window arrived, Saeyoung was the one to tend the door. He kept quiet, very quiet, barely looking at her. He supervised everything, from the moment the man stepped inside the apartment, even helping him to hold the glass in the right place to fixate it. MC kept looking at Seven, trying to get a response from him, but to no avail. They had ended the night well. What would make him get so serious again?

“How do you think Saeran broke the window?” she asked after the man left.

“I don’t know. I really don’t want to talk about my brother, MC. I feel like I’m about to explode” he said, going back to the computer “Here, your laptop” he reached it towards her “All clean and safe. They had not hacked it”

She took it from his hands with a faint smile. “Thank you”

He kept staring at her until she turned away.

“Do you know what really bothers me? You are not mad at me. I don’t get it” he said “I am guilty for everything that’s happening to you, if at least I had blocked your access from the beginning, you would still be at your house and safe. Why aren’t you mad at me?”

Slowly, she turned back to him.

“You saved me yesterday, Seven” she answered “If it weren’t for you, I would have been kidnapped”

“I don’t get it. I really don’t” he said, looking her from up and down and putting his headphones on.

He avoided her, speaking coordinates out loud or reacting to the song he was listening to whenever she tried to talk to him.

“Seven… Are you really going to keep ignoring me?” she asked.

He stopped for a moment. He had taken time to think about his position in that place, about his relationship with her, if they even had any. Seven liked her very much. He always had. And that was why he had to be mean. He had to avoid her and break her heart, because he could not drag her into the pit of fear and despair that was his life. People like him could not have friends or family and there was a reason for that. Even if he ignored the fact that the agency would be probably already going after him - something he assumed based on the amount of calls from Vanderwood that he ignored -, there was still his father. The father from whom he tried so hard to protect his brother. 

After the pause, he continued typing. During the night, he remembered who he was. No one. He had been born as no one and would die like no one.  _ A bug.  _ His nights were never good, but that was a bad one, the worst he had in years, filled with alcohol scented houses and crying children. That was him. No one else. And MC deserved much more than that.

. . .

_ “Myung” Areum called “Promise me something?” _

_ The younger girl looked at her. They had been sitting in their pillow fort for hours, reading old mangas with their flashlights and whispering in order to not wake up Areum’s father. _

_ “Of course, unnie” MC answered, sitting up “What is it?” _

_ “Well, I’m looking here at the manga, and there is this girl that always needs to be saved by the boys and the other characters mock her because she is not as strong as them” Areum looked at MC with a very serious face “Promise me that we won’t be like that. We’ll make a deal that we’ll be strong and independent and prove stupid boys that write those things that girls are awesome” _

_ Myung bit her lip, looking down. “But unnie, the other kids in school say that I’m dumb and too slow to do everything. I guess that I am just like her already” _

_ “Of course you are not!” Areum stopped for a moment “You know what? Change what I said. We need to do this and prove that she is really cool. You know why?” MC shook her head “Because she is always the one that talks to people before fighting them, or the first one to hug people when they cry. I guess that I misjudged her. She is awesome, but in a way that people don’t quite understand. She is not the fastest or the strongest, but she has her group of friends that loves her just the way she is” she smiled “You know what, MC? I think that she is the coolest character in the manga!” _

_ Myung smiled at her friend. “Really?” _

_ “Hell yeah” she answered “Come here, let’s pinky promise it” they joined their pinkies together “We promise to always be nice, brave and kind. We’ll treat people well and enjoy life, every single bit of it. We are girls and we are very strong, even stronger than those stinky boys. And we’ll prove people that we can always be super heros, just like the girl in the comic: In our own ways. Do you also promise that?” _

_ “I promise” _


	8. Broken Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! 
> 
> I'm here for some friendly warnings: there are some references to child abuse due to the twins' past, but it is not much descriptive of actual violent acts against them.
> 
> Get ready for emotional hell, it's coming

MC typed on her computer with her headphones on. There was not much to do locked up in the apartment. He said that he could not understand her not being mad at him. What an odd thing to say. Why would she be mad? She was angry for things that were his fault such as the yelling and the crazy bomb idea, but not her being kidnapped. Seven had saved her and she could not see why it was wrong for her to care for him and be thankful for what he had done. 

She opened a new tab on her browser, typing “Mint Eye” on the search tool. They were missing something, she knew that. Throughout the day all the members had reached for her and Seven to hear from them, to see if they were fine, if they were safe. All of them except one. V. It seemed to bother all of the members. They had not heard anything from him since before the attempted kidnapping. The main hypothesis was that he was traveling to a far away place and could not get any telephone signal, but it all sounded too convenient for MC. What was that strange man hiding? Still, Seven seemed to put all his trust on him and, despite everything, Myung trusted Seven, so she did not wish to create any sort of disturbance that was not necessary.

She browsed through the pages that she had already accessed. All complaints and spam warnings, but nothing concrete. No oficial pages, no testimony, nothing that she could use to gain more information about that weird cult that was attacking the RFA.  _ I guess you are not that weak, after all _ . Saeran’s words had stuck with her. Why would he assume that she was weak? Did the people that - from what she could understand from what Seven had said - kidnapped him know her?  _ She is weak and someone like you will only bring her pain and sorrow. I am taking her to the place that is right for people like her.  _

_ “You never play anything right” the boy yelled “No one wants to play with you, get away from us” _

_ “Please, I wanna play” Myung cried, clutching at the sides of her skirt and crying. _

_ “No. You are bad at playing catch, you’ll just slow everything down.” he pushed her back, making her fall “Are you that dumb? No one likes you, just go away” _

“Can I come in?” Seven asked.

She jumped a bit, startled by his voice. “Yes, sure” she stuttered. 

For too long she had been lost in her thoughts. Sitting up, MC watched the young man open the wooden door, dragging his bags with him as he looked at her.

“Can I use the computer that’s in here, I need all the screens and equipment I can get”

MC nodded before going back to her screen. There was no way that she would allow him to keep ignoring her throughout the morning and suddenly come talk to her as if it was nothing. Glancing at the search results, she thought about what they knew. Nothing. They had no information about the place, just some random people they tried to recruit.  _ She is weak.  _ She had to find something, any sort of information would do.  _ Someone like you will only be crushed in this terrible reality.  _ Usually those organizations followed a pattern, there were even articles about it.  _ I am taking her to the place that is right for people like her.  _ They followed a pattern, perhaps if she could discover it.  _ Magenta is the only place for a weakling like you. _

“Magenta” she murmured, before her eyes enlightened as she understood. She had access to people that were almost recruited. Even if not much, she could search about those profiles and try to create a scheme to find the pattern among them. That would be good for her to start. 

She rose from her desk, not paying much attention to the red haired hacker sitting in the desk behind her, and reached out for her backpack, trying to find her notebook. As she returned to her seat, MC noticed a book lying on the ground, in the corner of her desk. She had not seen it before.

“Seven, did you drop this?” she asked, staring at the fairy tale book on her hands, but Saeyoung did not answer. She rolled her eyes, taking back her seat, and opened the book, seeing that there was a floppy disc hidden inside.

“Why is there a floppy disc in here?” she asked “Seven, why do you storage-”

Before MC could finish her sentence, Seven pulled the book out of her hands, standing over her from the back of the chair.

“What do you think you are doing right now?” he asked “God, are you that dumb, really? Have you never heard that curiosity killed the cat? Now, listen to me, MC. You can do whatever you want, all right? You can search about stuff, you can hate me, get mad at me, I really don’t care. Just don’t you try to meddle on my life. People are always like that. They see me all cheerful and funny and decide that they can come closer, but later on no one is able to deal with the entire situation I’m in. Stay away. It’s the best for the two of us” he began to walk back to his chair, holding the book tight in his hands.

“I’m sorry about your book, but… You keep ignoring me and pushing me away!” she urged, turning around to face him “Seven, I want to be your friend, why do things need to be so complicated?”

“My life is complicated ever since I was born” he stated, dropping himself on his chair “It’s best for you to stay away from it. We can’t be friends or family or have any sort of relationship. Our ending is already set. And honestly, I don’t care about it as long as you are safe, normal and alive, things that you cannot be staying around me. I don’t want your attention, I don’t want you caring about me and don’t you dare forgive me for putting you in danger. I don’t deserve it, I never did.”

“Why?”

“It doesn't matter why” he answered “It doesn’t matter to you why. I won’t drag you into this, MC, I’m telling you I won’t. You don’t know who is behind me, you don’t know who or how you could get hurt if this” he motioned his finger between them “ever happens”

MC took a deep breath, exasperated. “You are not even giving me a chance to-”

“The chance has never existed. Don’t waste it on someone like me” he turned back to stare at his computer screen “I’ll take that you understand what I mean by now. If you really want to help, just stay away from me and don’t pay me any attention. That will help me”

. . .

_ The two teenage girls sat over the tall tree. Myung read a thick book out loud while Areum occupied herself with drawing in her sketchbook.  _

_ “Really, I don’t get it” Areum said, sitting up “Why can’t they just make up. They obviously like each other, can’t they just say it to one another and stop fighting?” _

_ “Well, I guess that relationships are complicated?” Myung said, closing her book “Also, it’s really romantic when they fix everything up” _

_ Areum scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Well, you can have romance, then. I will live happily ever after with my eight cats and my flower-filled home” _

_ “I’m not having any romance. The boys don’t like me anyways” Myung pointed out. _

_ “Honestly, they are stupid. You shouldn’t care about that. They have no taste” _

_ “See, we have a problem here because all of them are madly in love with you, so you can’t say they don’t have a taste” she scooched near her friend “Oh, Areum, your eyes are as beautiful as the stars” she mocked “Please, Areum, give me the honour of dating me. You are the love of my life” she laughed. _

_ “Unbelievable” the older girl laughed too “Come here, dongsaeng, you’ve lost reading privileges after this. Come on.” she tapped her lap, signaling for MC to lay her head in there “Now, what’s with you? I know that little face of yours.” _

_ MC sighed “Oh, just thinking about those stupid boys. They… They are just being mean again, I don’t really want to talk about it” she looked at her friend who was stroking her hair “It’s not all of them anymore, just this group that keeps going after me no matter what I do” _

_ “Look, I don’t know what they did and you really don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to, but remember one thing, MC: whatever they tell you, it does not reflect who you are. They are just stupid, that’s all. If they could see you the way I see, for sure they would never want to leave your side”. _

_ The girls smiled at each other. MC loved Areum so much. They were just like sisters, it had always been like that. Even if MC had been able to create friendships in her classroom, Areum was always with her, wherever she was, and vice versa. The older people of the village called them “inseparable duo”. MC believed that the name fitted them very well. Nothing would ever tear them apart _

_. . . _

The rest of the day was filled by silence. MC stopped researching just to prepare dinner and even as she sat back on bed with the computer on her lap, she could not concentrate. His words weighed in her heart. He had not yelled and he had, at some level, explained to her some things, but still, she felt the pain in his words and eyes. MC wished to help him, talk to him, ask him how he was feeling, but there was no opening. He had asked her to stay away and MC had her pride. She would wait and see.

Myung opened the messenger app to see if someone was online and for her surprise, V seemed to have opened up a chatroom. She looked to the hacker that had not stopped working still. Many times he had murmured about how much he needed to talk to V, even reached out for Jumin in order to find him. Besides, when they met Saeran, Seven said something about V and Rika, perhaps he needed more information from him. 

“V is online” she said and, for her surprise, he took off his earphones, looking at her “V. He is online in the app. He opened a chatroom”

Seven reached out for the phone in the same moment, entering the chatroom as fast as he could. V. How could he define V? For years he had seen him as the father figure he never had. At that moment, he did not know anymore. Not after seeing his brother like that.

V: Luciel, I’m glad you’re here

V: I wanted to talk to you

707: Why didn’t you answer any of my calls?

V: I did try to call you, but remember the phone you gave me?

V: The red light kept turning on so I was afraid of it being bugged.

707: What? For real??

V: Yeah

V: I came here because I couldn’t talk to you on the phone

Seven took a deep breath, raising his eyes and settling them in MC’s worrying eyes. He did not know what he seeked in them. Support? Company? Help? Whatever it was, he got it as she smiled faintly towards him. Lowering his head, he prepared to ask the question that terrified him to his very core

707: I have a bunch of questions I want to ask you...

V: Oh, Luciel

V: I have a personal favor to ask.

MC took a deep breath, already annoyed. She was able to see Seven from where she was and he looked distressed. 

V: You know that all the information stored in the apartment is classified, right?

V: I'm just saying this out of caution

V: but the drawer in the desk will hold some personal letters, so please don’t touch them.

MC: Are you doubting Seven?

V: No! I’m not!

Saeyoung felt as if he had received a punch in his stomach. V doubted him. V thought that he would meddle in the documents. Why? Why would V think something like that of him? He had never given him any reason to suspect him. Soon, anger and indignation filled his chest. He could not take something like that.

707: Then what else? You did think I would  look the documents without permission

V: No, I just said it out of caution. 

V: I just don’t want to rehash things related to Rika. You understand how I feel about it…

707: What in the world are you talking about?!

V: Luciel

V: I apologize if I sounded as if I do not trust you

V: That’s not what I meant

V: I just don’t want anyone reading those letters

V was lying to him, Seven knew. It was a lie. A bad one. The person he had ever trusted, the person he had always respected and obeyed was now suspecting him and lying about it.

707: Why did you think I would rummage through the apartment?

707: Why are you suspecting me, V?

707: You are feeling really weird right now. 

707: I don’t want to doubt you

V: I just expressed myself badly

707: You’d never make a mistake like that

707: I’ve spent the last days trying to reach you

707: There are people in this apartment, you know?

707: I’m here and MC is here too

707: Now that you are in touch,  the thing you should be  worrying about is us! 

707: You should worry about MC’s safety!

707: After all this time we waited to talk to you,

707: you just came in here because  you got nervous that I would  stop the security system  and read the documents?!

V: That’s a misunderstanding, Luciel, please

V: I made a mistake

V: YOu know that RFA is and has always been my top priority

V: Please, Luciel, remember everything we’ve been through

V: I’ll go back home and take care of everything

V: I know you are mad at me, but trust me, please

He took a deep breath, feeling the tears already coming to his eyes. How could he trust V? He had lied about that. Trust. He wanted his trust. For that he would have to be honest for once.

707: You know what, V? 

707: I need to ask you something 

V: Luciel…

707: Is Saeran included in the ‘everything’ you mentioned?

V: What?

707: Answer me

V: I don’t understand

707: Do you know where Saeran is and what he is doing right now?

V: We decided not to talk about that.

V: Everyone can read this, let’s talk when I get back

707: No. We’ll talk about it now. 

707:  _ That  _ is my brother you are talking about,  so don’t you dare run away and say it here

707: Answer me so that I can trust you again

MC kept looking at Seven, watching him in his chair, alone. Before heading towards him, she sent one last message to V.

MC: V? Do you know anything about Saeran?

V: You told her?

707: She knows us from before you do,so don’t change the subject

V: Luciel…

707: I saw Saeran with my own eyes

707: Explain to me why he was like that.

707: Explain to me why he appeared in front of my eyes like that.

707: All those filthy hacking jobs that I do

707: All the time I spend away from him,  risking my life and hoping to see him again 

707: Why is that boy

707: Why is my brother doing it, when you  were supposed to protect him?!?!

707: Tell me what you know!

707: Tell me, V

707: Explain to me what happened

707: Just say something so that I can trust  you again and get my brother back

707: Please

V: Luciel

V: I don’t have

V: service

V: Later I’ll

_ V left the chatroom _

Seven stared at the words. He left. Now he was truly alone. V abandoned him too.

“Saeyoung” MC called “Are you alright?”

Before she could touch his shoulder, he got up and bursted out of the room. Seven was not fine. He had never been. But V and Rika had been a beacon of hope in his life. A light he had never known before and that he followed as the only way of leading him and Saeran out of the darkness they were embedded in. In his home, he and his brother had to face hunger, cold and pain; with V and Rika all he had ever received was care, warmth and kindness. He believed that with them, Saeran would be safe. His brother that he had always loved so much. Seven had trusted V and Rika with his entire world by leaving, following V’s idea of hiding in order for his father never find him and for Saeran to enjoy a family that would give him all the love he had been deprived of. Every step that V had planned, he had followed. But for what? For what? Seven did not know. 

He sat in the living room, burying his face in his hands. V had lied to him. He had trusted V and received lies in return. What had they done to his brother while he was away? Had Saeran ever been happy? Seven did not want to think about that, but he wondered for how long had his brother continued to suffer in their mother’s home. They promised that they would take him out of there. But they lied about so much, how could they not lie about that?

“Seven?” MC called again “Are you…”

“No” he answered “I’m not. Leave me alone, MC. Please. Just… Leave me alone”

MC looked down, watching as tears streamed down his face. 

“I’m sorry, Seven. I… I won’t bother you anymore” she turned back to her room “Good night”

The door closed and Saeyoung allowed himself to cry.

. . .

_ Saeyoung sat in the church steps, smiling faintly as the fresh air stroked his face. The boy tapped his feet on the floor, waiting for Rika. She told him that she had something to give after mass, but she was still talking to other people. Soon he would have to go home to look after Saeran before their mother was back. The mere thought made him more anxious. Saeran was waiting for him. _

_ “Hey, may I join you?” _

_ The boy looked up and saw the mint colored guy again, smiling at him as he waited for an answer. _

_ “Sure,” Saeyoung said. _

_ “So, I think that we had a rough beginning, don’t you think?” V smiled at him. Saeyoung remembered how suspicious he was of V before learning that he was Rika’s boyfriend “Let’s start things the right way: I’m Jihyun, you can call me V. You are Saeyoung, right?” _

_ The boy nodded. “Yes, that’s me.” he smiled “Rika told me that you are a photographer” _

_ “Well… yeah” V smiled back at him “I’m in college actually. You are in which school year?” _

_ Saeyoung hesitated. There was no answer to that since he had never attended school. _

_ “I did not know there is a college for photography” he averted the subject _

_ “There is” V laughed “And, it’s quite fun, actually. There is much to learn about photography” he looked at the backpack sitting in the boy’s lap “What is it with the backpack? You were really worried about it the other day” _

_ The boy looked at the old shaggy backpack before answering. “Well… It’s just stuff that I need to take back home to my brother” _

_ “You have a brother?” V asked, to which the boy nodded. “What’s his name?” _

_ It was unusual for him to tell people about Saeran, but that strange man was Rika’s boyfriend. Since she was his friend, for sure her boyfriend would be worth trust as well. Besides, his mint eyes gave the boy a feeling of sincerity and comfort. _

_ “Saeran” he answered “We are twins” _

_ “Wow, that is really cool!” V said “Why don’t you bring him here someday?” _

_ Saeyoung was quiet for a few moments, trying to find a simple answer for such a complex question. _

_ “It’s just… My brother gets sick a lot” he answered “It’s tough to take him out of our house” _

_ “Oh… I see” V looked down “Well, tell him that I said hi, then” _

_ The boy giggled. “All right” he answered. _

_ Jihyun smiled, lowering his eyes. At that moment, he saw a dark bruise in the boy’s arm. His sleeves were rolled up, allowing the man to see the injury in his thin arm.  _

_ “What happened to you?” V asked. _

_ Before he could touch him, the boy pulled back, flinching and moving away from the photographer. His demeanor changed again and, once more, he was back to the suspicious child V had met for the first time. Saeyoung was weary of touching of any sorts. Quickly, he pulled his sleeve back down, hiding the mark away. V was not supposed to see it.  _

_ “Hey, it’s all right. Just.. Let me take a look” V insisted, slowly getting closer to the scared boy “I want to help, all right? That’s all.” _

_ Help? Not many people ever offered to help Saeyoung before. In fact, only Rika did. Slowly, the boy rolled his sleeve back up, flinching as, for a brief moment, he touched the bruise. Carefully, V took his arm, examining the injury. He asked for Saeyoung to wait and, after a few minutes, came back carrying a first aid kit in order to take care of the boy.  _

_ Saeyoung was conscious that he did not have only one bruise on his arm, some few scars did stay longer than others. He was afraid of questions and commentaries the man might do, but he didn’t. In admiration, Seyoung watched the strange photographer take care of him. No one had ever done that before. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	9. Secrets Never to be Told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some friendly warnings: there are some references to child abuse due to the twins' past, but it is not much descriptive of actual violent acts against them.

“MC? Are you asleep?”

Saeyoung walked slowly inside the room, softly stepping so that he would not wake her up. The girl had fallen asleep over her covers, a book fallen by her side. He inched towards the wardrobe, taking one blanket from inside and carefully covering her, closing the book and setting it on the nightstand. 

She seemed serene when sleeping, so different from him. MC. The girl from the park. Their lives had twisted and turned and still, in some way, their paths had crossed one more time, and it hurted for Saeyoung to think that would be the last. He had to leave. 

“You are really weird, did you know that?” he asked, whispering not to wake her up “After everything I said to you, you continued to babble around all day long, bright as ever. When I look at you, I remember the Seven I am in the messenger. You are really like him, did you know? Even more than me. You and Saeyoung are nothing alike” he leaned against the wall, without breaking eye contact from her “You are bright and happy as the day and Saeyoung is sad and gloomy as the night. Saeyoung has been through too much to be like 707. And I need you to know that. I cannot wear that mask anymore. I cannot be 707 for you. Saeyoung is who I am, liking it or not.”

“I wish that you could understand that. I already have a brother to protect and too many people trying to harm us. I already lost Saeran, if I lose you too… I can’t. You are bright and smart. You need to go and graduate, have a family and a normal life. The last thing you need is to get in a relationship with someone as complicated as me. I can’t drag you to the chaos that is my family. But even if I say this, you won’t listen and tomorrow… Please, I don’t want to be mean to you again.” he took a look to the side, trying to withhold the tears in his eyes “Please, remember this in your dreams. Don’t trust V or me. Don’t give your feeling to anyone else in the RFA. And please… be less nice to me. I can take all the mistreat you have to give me, but not kindness. I’m not used to that, so please, don’t give me something I don’t deserve to have.”

Slowly, he headed towards the computer, unplugging his laptop. and turning the monitor off so that the light would not disturb her sleep.

“You were amazing, did you know that? On that day, you have no idea how miserable I was, how much Saeran had already been hurt. You were always one of the best memories I had from our childhood. Thank you for being there.” he touched her bed softly “Letting me protect you now… is much more than I deserve. That is enough for Saeyoung.”

. . .

MC woke up startled in the morning. She hid her face in her hands, still shivering from the nightmare. She had never been one to be impressed easily, but that time things were getting to her. Glancing at the window, she remembered Saeran getting in, dragging her through the bedroom. _Someone like you will only be crushed in this terrible reality._ She took a deep breath. What had happened to him? 

Sitting in bed, she looked around. There was no sign of Seven and his computer was gone. MC imagined that he should be working in the living room. Was he feeling better? She could already imagine the answer. She wished to talk to him the other night, but he did not want company, something that she could understand. But still, no one should have to cry by themselves. 

MC reached out for her phone, surprised to see an open chatroom with Zen and Jumin. The two guys that were always fighting. Both of them seemed to be terribly surprised about what had happened, Seven’s brother, V’s secrets, but still it was evident that there were many missing pieces in that puzzle. Regardless, no one knew what to do. In other chats, Yoosung had declared explicitly that he would take Seven’s side no matter what. Zen agreed. Jumin seemed confused, but still standing with his childhood friend, and Jaehee.. Oh, Jaehee. She just wanted people to stick together. In the middle of the crisis, she was the one with whom MC agreed the most. Them falling apart seemed to be very advantageous for the Mint Eye, this was not supposed to happen. Even if she thought that V was dealing terribly with the situation, pointing fingers and doubting each other would be of no help to either of them.

Yoosung was on the verge of a crisis once more. He had been better for the time his mother had spent with him, but upon seeing V and Seven fight like that, something seemed to pull him to stand for his friend and to raise up all his suspicions against V once more. Jumin avoided the subject the most he could, insisting that they should - and would - continue planning for the party no matter what. It seemed to her that he just wanted everything to stay just the way it was. Perhaps too much was changing and he wished to stop it for a bit. Zen tried to calm people’s nerves at the same time that he was furious. Such a mixture did not work well and he just ended up fueling Yoosung even more. MC had been calling him for the past days to check on his eating, drinking and smoking habits. She could not be with him in person, but she would be close to help him quit. And Jaehee… Jaehee seemed lost in the middle of so many conflicts and, still, offering so much support to MC. The two only women in the group were sticking together to try and control the emotional waves that were striking the RFA. She had been terribly excited about a coffee project she was leading for the company, but all the RFA drama had taken the attention out of that. Still, MC liked to remember her friend to not worry about her and follow what her heart desired.

When MC left the bedroom with her laptop in hand, she saw Seven sitting on the couch, already working. It was early morning. She hoped that he had at least slept a bit. 

“Good morning” she said, not expecting one answer. 

She prepared her breakfast, making a second porridge bowl for him.

“I don’t know if you’ve eaten already” she said, placing it by his side “You really should”

There was no answer from him, just the unstopping typing sounds. 

“I’ll be right there if you want to talk,” she said, heading towards the table and opening her laptop. 

There was no use in talking to him. He never answered. Still, she would not give up on him that easily. There was no way that MC would leave him alone.

Around 10am, a new chatroom opened. Seven was in there. She looked at him, seeing him glance at her before quickly turning back to the cellphone. Perhaps there was another way for them to talk, then.

707: Hi, MC

MC: Hi… How’s work going?

707: It’s going fine…

707: Jumin wants to keep going with the party

707: But RFA won’t mean anything now that the leader is a liar

707: I guess he is still hoping

_Yoosung has entered the chatroom_

Yoosung: Seven!!!!!!!!

Yoosung: Are you okay??

707: Yeah

707: Don’t worry about me, just be careful

Yoosung: T_T

Yoosung: Oh! Hey, MC!

Yoosung: Listen, Seven

Yoosung: If there is anything I can do

Yoosung: with catching the hacker… or finding information

707: No.

MC raised her eyes, looking at Seven as he sat up on the couch, putting the notebook aside. She could see him getting tense, the same concerned expression he did when she offered to help with the investigation.

Yoosung: Still

Yoosung: We might find some clues about Rika’s suicide!!!

Yoosung: Let me help, please! Please!

707: Thank you, but no.

707: You’d better not be involved with the RFA right now.

MC: Still, maybe he can help with something. Me too.

Yoosung: Yeah!

Yoosung: I really mean it, Seven!

Yoosung: I can put myself at risk if it means finding the truth!

707: Yoosung, this isn’t just dangerous.

707: RFA is already buried in V’s secrets.

Yoosung: I can handle it!

Yoosung: I’m stronger than you think!

Yoosung: We can do it together!

707: I said I don’t need your help…

Yoosung: I know I won’t be a huge help

Yoosung: But I’m sure there’s something I can do!

Yoosung: I could go to the apartment too!

707: Can’t you see how pathetic you are being right now?

MC looked at Seven once more, watching him frown and bite his lips. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes before continuing to send the messages. Pain was stamped in his face.

707: I’m not just working for the RFA

707: I’m trying to find my brother!

Yoosung: It’s all the same thing right now

Yoosung: We must help each other to get through this!

707: I don’t want help from anyone in the RFA

707: Besides…

He stopped typing once more. MC knew that he didn’t want to do whatever he planned to say, it was clear in his face.

707: I plan on leave the RFA as soon as MC is safe

Yoosung: What?

Yoosung: Wait

MC: Seven, are you serious?

Yoosung: Seven… What’s up with you?

Yoosung: Is it all because of V?

Yoosung? You are upset with him, right?

707: It’s not that simple

707: I’ve already decided to leave.

Yoosung: Seven I hated V since Rika left, so I understand how you feel

Yoosung: But if you leave the RFA…

Yoosung: It doesn’t mean that you are never going to talk to us, right?

707: You’re right. I’ll forget everyone here.

707: It was going to be like that anyways

707: What else did you expect from a secret agent?

Yoosung: Seven, you're scaring me.

707: I meant everything I said.

707: So don’t try to get involved with what I do.

707: It will have nothing to do with you.

Yoosung: What’s wrong with you?

707: I should have said that this would be the ending all along

Yoosung: What are you talking about…?

Yoosung: Seven, this is serious

Yoosung: Seven, please. I get that you’re mad at V

707: No… It’s not just that

707: I’ve always been like this

Yoosung: Seven, I’m getting mad

707: I can never have an identity

707: Having friends is only temporary.

Yoosung: All the time we spent together was temporary, then?

707: Yes

“You are hurting him” MC said, looking at Seven “Saeyoung, I don’t know what you think you are doing, but you are hurting him” He did not lift his eyes nor stop typing. It was if her words did not reach him.

Yoosung: This is ridiculous.

Yoosung: You bragging about your new car,

Yoosung: trashing your boss,

Yoosung: going to the movies with me,

Yoosung: It was all temporary?

707: They are just memories that will become meaningless to me

Yoosung: I can’t believe this

Yoosung: I don’t know how great this agency of yours is,

Yoosung: but why are you only thinking about yourself?

Yoosung: What do we do now?!

707: Sort your feelings on your own

707: That’s what I’ll do

Yoosung: I can’t believe that we are having this conversation.

Yoosung: From the beginning our friendship was just temporary?

707: Yes.

“Saeyoung, stop!” MC urged “Just put some sense on your head and look at what you are doing!”

Yoosung: Can’t you just say that you’re leaving because of V?!

707: It’s not just because of that?

707: There is no use on explaining

707: It doesn’t matter

707: It never did

Yoosung: Who are you…?

Yoosung: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO??????

707: You… 

707: don’t know anything

Yoosung: Who are you to do this?

Yoosung: Why are you deciding everything on your own!?

707: You don't know where I was born,

707: who my parents are

707: what V’s been telling me…

707: what I do at the agency

707: YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME

Yoosung: NO, I DON’T!!!

Yoosung: I thought I understood you without knowing those things

Yoosung: But I guess I was wrong.

707: Yeah, you were.

Yoosung: The Seven I know 

Yoosung: was always bright and funny,

Yoosung: did everything he had to do,

707: I’m not that person

Yoosung: ann always said weird things.

Yoosung: But he was still warm and kind,

Yoosung, always worried about us despite all the work,

707: I SAID IT’S ALL TEMPORARY

Yoosung: he helped Zen succeed from the back

Yoosung: and took care of me when Rika passed away

Yoosung: That’s the Seven I know

707: SO WHAT?

Yoosung: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SO WHAT!?

Yoosung: SO WHAT THAT

Yoosung: UNLESS YOU ERASE MY MEMORIES

Yoosung: I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGET YOU!!

707: I only said the truth

MC: Seven, I think it’s time for you to stop

Yoosung: I can’t accept that you are saying all those things

without a care for our feelings and using the excuse that it’s the truth

707: Just stop it, both of you.

707: You would never understand.

_707 had left the chatroom._

Yoosung: …

MC: Yoosung, are you all right?

Yoosung: No

Yoosung: I’ll get going

_Yoosung has left the chatroom._

MC dropped her phone over the table, glaring at Seven. He was back at the computer, typing as if nothing had happened, as if he had not broken his friend’s heart. She stood up, heading towards him.

“Are you happy now?” she asked, standing in front of him.

Seeing that no answer came from the hacker, she slammed his computer shut, startling him enough to make him look at her.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked.

“I am asking you if you are happy now with what you’ve done!” she yelled “Are you happy now that you achieved your goal? Is this what you want?”

“What I want?” he scoffed, standing up “ _Now_ you are interested in what I want? How about two days ago when I told you to stay away and stop bothering me? Why do people want so bad to get mad at me but never can do anything that I ask them to?” he walked around the couch, leaning against the backseat “What I want. Do you really think I _want_ this? Do all of you really believe that this was the life I chose? The life I always dreamed of?”

“If you hate it so much, we can fix things!” she answered “ _WE._ You, me, Yoosung, all the friends that you decided to abandon because _you_ deemed everything too dangerous for us, not even explaining what the hell is dangerous in the first place!” 

“Has it never even occurred to you that’s because it’s dangerous for you to know?” he yelled “Can’t you stop and think for a single moment that this is not for you to meddle in? I am not entitled to anything normal people have! Friends, family, a home, nothing. It all ends for everyone, but for me it’s so much quicker. To arrive somewhere knowing that everything you love will just vanish someday and you will end up alone once more, you don’t know that! When you _do_ know how it feels, then you can judge how I spoke with Yoosung. Until then, you can keep your comments to yourself.” he went back to the living room, standing in front of her “My life can’t embrace anything. It never did. There is no space for anyone in it. I could not even take care of my brother, what makes any of you think I could protect you? Wake up, MC. It’s just useless, all right?” he walked past her, heading towards the kitchen.

“So this is how you want to solve things?” she asked, following him “You’ll just scream to the world how complicated your life is, hurting every single person that tries to get past this shielded bubble you created, so that they will get mad and you won’t have to worry about them anymore? That’s not how things get solved!”

“Oh, I’m sorry then!” he turned back to her, scoffing as he spoke. “Please, enlighten me about _how_ we are supposed to solve such difficult situations, because, obviously, you are very much experienced in them! Please, MC, teach me how should I solve this huge problem in my hands? For sure that’s what you learn in Art School, right? Tell me, how many times did you have to run away from home and abandon your brother because that was the only way of saving his life? How many times did you have to risk you goddamn life, listening to agents that are just the scum of the human race talking about some seriously illegal shit, just because you needed the money and that is the only way people like you can survive in this forsaken world? Share with me, please, all your blessed knowledge on how to solve hard situations like this!” he stood in front of her, pinching the sides of his head as he scoffed “You know what, MC. This is the real world. Life is not staying in your little happy village, taking care of your tiny farm, happy all the time. Just wake up.” he stared deep into her eyes “Do you know what is the problem with people like you and Yoosung? You think that everyone lived an easy life like you did. So wake up, all right? Get out of your little imagination castle where life is perfect, everyone is happy and you never have any kind of problem. Life is fucked up, just deal with it from now on”

“Shut up” MC said, tears already settling in the corner of her eyes. Her tone was firm, settled, transpassing the frontiers of rage and hurt “Just, shut your stupid mouth before trying to say anything about me and my life. You know what is the matter with you, Saeyoung? You think you are so powerful with your computer and internet, meddling in people's lives, finding out everything about them and, oh, this makes you know so much, doesn’t it? You can read people so well that you can even pinpoint if they can or cannot get close to you, if they are safe near the oh-so-dangerous Saeyoung Choi.” MC began to cry, but she did not avert her eyes from him, she would not stop talking after everything she had to hear “So tell me this, hacker boy. You think my life was so great, don’t you? I’m not going to throw myself in this blatantly stupid competition of who suffered more, but don’t you dare to look at me and say that I had an all happy and easy life. Tell me. You are so good doing background checks on people: did you know that I lost my parents when I was six years old? Did you know that I had to struggle to learn a language that I only knew the basics because I had just lived for months in Korea before my parents passed away? Did you? Did you know that my life was so easy that I was bullied in school until I reached high school? Aren’t you the person that knows everything about life and knows exactly how much everyone can suffer, so tell me this, Saeyoung: do you know how it is to lose your best friend and just three years later end up losing your grandmother too?” she pointed her finger at him, unable to control the sobs that seemed to crawl in between her vocal chords “I’m never going to compare anything I've been through to whatever you faced, but don’t you dare look at me and say that I had an easy life. You don’t know me, Saeyoung Choi, and you have not a clue about what I’ve been through to look at me and say this amount of bullshit.” 

She sat on the ground, sobbing. The tears fell over her lap, wetting her sleeves as she pressed her hands against her face. Her throat seemed clogged by all the words that filled her mind and had just been spilled out. It had been too much. She shivered, her eyes closed, unable to look at the ginger boy that kept staring at her, unable to say any words. It had been too much. Slowly, he kneeled near her, looking down, shame taking over his whole body.

“I’m… I’m sorry, MC” he said. 

That was how apologies were made. They came from the bottom of the chest, crawling out because they knew it was time to come. They were the words that filled the silence when there was nothing left to say.

“I didn’t… I shouldn’t have said those things to you” he continued “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”

“You can’t say things like that” she sobbed.

“No, I can’t. I really shouldn’t even think about things like that” he said.

“You were a jerk”

“A big jerk” he nodded “The biggest one possible. From here to the moon, if you look, you can see me filling the space with my jerkiness”

She laughed softly in her cry. MC raised her eyes to stare at his. An apologetic grin formed in his lips. With one movement, she hugged his torso, allowing him to wrap his arms around her. Softly, he rocked her from one side to the other, stroking her hair with his fingers.

“You keep pushing people away from you and you don’t even realize that those who care about you will always face the dangers with you, Saeyoung.” she said “You are surrounded by people that really love you and care so much about you. Don’t throw this away”

He took a deep breath. “Well… But what do I do if they get hurt because of me? How do I forgive myself?”

MC reached out for his hand, parting from his embrace and staring at his eyes “If there is something that I learned in life is that it passes through us. People come and go, you can never stop them from going if they have to.” she cupped his cheek with her hand “But what you can do is choose what to do with the time you have with them.” she looked down before continuing “I’ve lost the four most important people in my life. It hurts, oh it hurts so much. But, despite this neverending feeling of loss, I don’t have regrets, because I did everything I could with them. I lived everything we could live together in that time. We can’t stop time from passing, so we need to hold onto it with the tightest grip” she gave him a soft smile “Now think about Yoosung. What do you think would be more painful for him? Getting in danger for standing near his friend in a hard time or having to live his life with the thought that his best friend forgot him?” 

Saeyoung hugged her again. He did not know yet. Maybe, he needed time to figure it out. But he would not do it alone, at least not anymore. Could he really have all that? Was he entitled to have… a life? 

“MC…” he called “I know that… Well. I understand what you’re saying, and this is far beyond anything I’ve ever dreamed, but… You know that I can’t promise you anything about us, don’t you? I… It’s just...”

“Saeyoung, it’s okay. I wanna be your friend. There are way too many feelings for you to sort out. It’s fine. We’ll go with your time” she gave him a kiss on the cheek, standing close to look him in the eyes “It’s really all right”

“I need time” he added “That’s all. I need time to figure out what I’m feeling”

“For you” she smiled, pushing his hair away from his eyes “all the time in the world”

. . .

_“Myung?” her grandmother called, getting closer to the swing where the girl was sitting._

_It had been one week since the funeral. For the whole week, Myung Chae had only entered back at home to sleep and, sometimes, eat; the rest of her time was spent in the swing she and Areum made in her front yard. She sat there all day, looking at all the pictures she had taken with her friend. The fifteen year old did not move as her grandmother sat next to her._

_“Love, you need to go inside now” she said, stroking her hair._

_There was no answer from MC._

_“She is very beautiful” her grandmother said, smiling at the photo album “That photo is my favorite, you two laying on the grass… Remember how we made to take that?”_

_“Her dad and you made a pile of stools for him to stand on and take the picture from above” MC smiled sadly “And we kept… We kept telling him that he did not need to do so. It was fun that day”_

_Tears fell on her lap as she began to sob. Her grandmother nested her on her arms, taking the book from her hands and setting it aside. MC had not cried since the funeral, but at that moment it seemed as the tears tried to drown her in her sorrow._

_“I miss her so much,” she sobbed._

_“I know, love. I know” her grandmother said, teary eyed “Areum loved you so much… I’m sure that she’ll always be taking care of you from up there in the stars.”_

_“But she is not here anymore,” the girl cried._

_“No, she isn’t” her grandmother sighed “But there is a way for you to feel as if she is here again. All she always wanted was for you to be happy, Myung. So be happy for her, because I know that everytime you open this bright smile of yours, she’ll come back to you, and in the bad times I’m sure that Areum will hurry up to you and give you the strength you need to power through. People never truly leave us, we just… Don’t see them as often. Do you understand?”_

_MC nodded, taking a deep breath but still cuddled against her grandmother._

_“Now, let’s go inside. I made your favorite dinner. Later, we can watch some cartoons if you want to”_

_“Thanks, grandma” she said, picking the book and hugging it tight as they walked inside their home._

_Areum died in a summer morning when she was sixteen years old, and every time the soft summer breeze brushes her cheeks, MC always knows that it’s her friend saying hello._

. . .

Seven had been sitting quiet in the living room for a while. MC ordered food for lunch, but he did not eat, she did not insist either. Later she would talk to him, but that was not the time, truly wasn’t. As afternoon passed, she constantly looked outside her door and saw him mumbling as he worked on something. MC could not say that she wasn’t hurt, she was. A lot, actually. But it would pass. She managed to talk to him, say things that had to be heard. They would be fine. She truly wished that something could happen between them, but even if not, it was fine. He was, before anything, her friend. 

Saeyoung sat in the living room, working on each one of the parts as he tried to put his own pieces together. He had messed up really bad. The things he said to her… No one should ever hear that. But he had done it and he would not keep soaking around. He had to stop. It was time for him to put himself together for once. He had the time to think and for once he would do things the right way, his own way, not the way that V, Rika or Vanderwood instructed him to. It was time to actually think with his own head for a change.

“Hey,” she said, sitting in front of him “What are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m… just finishing something.” he said, stuffing the mechanical parts back in the bag. It was supposed to be a surprise “Just… working on stuff, don’t mind me”

“Can’t we talk while you do stuff? I’m… I really want to talk to you” she smiled.

Seven laughed softly “Why am I not surprised that you want to talk? You really don’t stop for a minute, do you? And people say that I’m the one with ADHD” he looked at her “Why do you keep talking to me? I’m really not…”

“Stop it” she said “I really like you, Seven. That’s why. You are my friend, and, besides that, there are other feelings that make me want to stay with you”

The young man blushed, averting her gaze. She could see him smile even as he lowered his head a bit.

“You really need to be careful about saying it to everyone on the street, you know?” he joked “There are a lot of crazy guys out there, complicated families and stuff”

“Oh, thank you for the warning” she laughed “Zen already gave me a really serious talk about a ‘beast’ or whatever when you arrived, so I’ll be fine”

“God, Zen” he whispered under his breath “Well, since we are talking… Is there anything you want to know? RFA, apartment, security system? Just, fire away.”

MC took a deep breath, biting her lips. She had many questions, but they were not about any of those topics. They were about the person sitting in front of her.

“When did you last see Saeran?”

Saeyoung sighed, looking straight at her. “Well, it’s not worth hiding it anymore, especially from you. Come here, let me show you what’s on the floppy disc”

They walked to the bedroom, turning on the computer. Silence reigned between them as Seven turned on the computer, placing the disc inside it. The screen lit up and the image of a smiling boy appeared on the screen. It was him. No. It was Saeran. Many and many photos of the boy at different ages.

“That’s Saeran” he said, staring at the screen “You see, Myung, we grew up in a very complicated household. Our father is one of the main presidential candidates at the moment. I won’t tell you who because it’s really a danger to know. Obviously, he and my mother had us without getting married, I really don’t know the story behind it. The point is, we were born as a dishonour for him and probably a big issue for his prominent career. And our mom…” he took a deep breath, shivering “Crap” tears fell down on his lap.

“Saeyoung, it’s okay if you don’t want to…” 

“I do. I really do” he looked at her “It’s just hard, that’s all”

She held his hand tight, stroking it gently as he took a deep breath before speaking again.

“We were never her children, we were just tools for her to threaten our dad, try to get some money out of him in order to keep her mouth shut. She was either drunk or just insane whenever she was at home, so you can imagine how things went back then. Because of the briberies and her constant threats of telling the truth about us, our dad tried to kidnap us multiple times, to… get rid of us”

“I can’t believe you grew up in a household like that…” she gasped “When I met you…”

“We lived with our mom, all that I just said applies. I sneaked out of the house whenever I could and tried to do the same with Saeran too. It was very complicated. He got sick a lot, and I mean really sick. And our mom never allowed him to leave. Thankfully she would usually send me on errands since I was little to buy food or medicine, so I was always able to leave and see the outside world, but Saeran never had that luck. He was always stuck in there with her, which made him get weaker by the day and his mind became ill too. I was always so scared of losing him, of arriving at home or waking up in the morning and…” he had to stop again to breathe. MC dragged her chair closer, stroking his hair “I kept wondering outside, trying to find a way to escape with Saeran. Because of that I met Rika and started going to church. There I could change my name, learn programming and that was the first time I had hope of saving myself and Saeran from our parents. That was when V came with this plan for me to change my identity, but it meant leaving Saeran. V and Rika promised that they would look after him, protect him and take good care of him… I made so many promises for him that I would always be by his side, protect him from everything… And I broke them all just trusting V’s words.”

“I’m so sorry that you had to go through all that”

“Rika sent me these photos on my 20th birthday. She said that he was fine and healthy. But how am I supposed to believe this now?” he sighed “I’m sorry, I kept going on and on about this. You are really weird, did you know that? You keep making me want to talk”

MC smiled, squeezing his hand tight “Whenever you want to, I’ll be right here to listen. Thank you for opening up to me”

“Thank you for listening to me” he smiled, without letting go off her hand.

. . .

_Saeyoung laughed as they stopped singing one more time._

_“You’re making it on purpose!” Saeran laughed “Noona, he’s making it on purpose”_

_Myung laughed at the younger twin’s reaction. The three kids where sitting on the grass. She had just finished teaching both of them the clapping game, but they did not seem able to cooperate with each other to play. Always one of them sang too fast or too slow or Saeyoung changed the lyrics slightly, disconcentrating his brother one more time. From time to time, Myung looked around in order to see her grandmother, but she was still very much lost._

_“Hey, don’t worry” Saeyoung said “We’ll stay here with you until you find her, all right?”_

_MC nodded. She felt safe near the two boys._

_“Do you live around here?” Saeran asked “Because, if you do, you could go home too”_

_“No” she answered “We live in a village a bit far from here. It’s like, two hours away by car.”_

_“It’s really far,” Saeran said._

_“Yeah” MC nodded “But it’s really nice, actually. We have a tiny little farm, so there are a lot of animals to play. We have a cow, and some chickens, and even a little donkey”_

_Saeran gasped in wonderment. He did not know that people really had animals in their home. He had only seen it on TV._

_“Do they have names?” Saeyoung asked._

_“Yes!” Myung said “The cow is named Hwan and the donkey is named Geon. Or chicken have names two, but they are like Dotsy, Ms. Little Stripes, that sort of stuff.”_

_“Wow, it’s so cool,” Saeyoung said._

_“Do you live around here?” Myung asked._

_The two boys looked at each other until the older took the lead._

_“Yeah” he answered_

_“Are you really alone here in the park?” Myung asked “Maybe your parents can call my grandma”_

_“No” Saeyoung answered, too fast and sharp “I mean… We are really alone, and our house is not that close anyways. And our mom just comes back really late at night, so… Sorry”_

_The girl sighed. “Oh well, it was an idea” she looked back to them “All right, let’s go one more time, and Saeyoung, don’t mess up with the lyrics again”_

_. . ._

“Where the hell are you, you crazy psycho?” Vanderwood yelled on the other side of the line “Seven, you better come back here right now and finish this fucking job or I swear that I’m going to hunt you down and give you the ass kicking of your lifetime, you son of a-”

“Whoa, whoa” Seven yelled back, pacing around the living room “Calm down, dude. We have company here” he blinked to MC who was laughing quietly in her seat “I have a witness with me and she is a lady, so you better control this dirty mouth of yours”

“Excuse me?” Vanderwood yelled again “First of all, who the hell are you with? Is it security camera girl? Which leads me to my second question: what the hell do you think you are doing? Get your ass back to your place and finish this job. The boss has been calling me like crazy and I’m not covering for you anymore, Seven, I’m telling ya. Get back right now.”

“I can’t, I’m solving problems now, personal problems”

“Personal problems?” Seven heard Vanderwood sigh on the other side of the line “Kid… What are you doing? People like us don’t have families, we don’t have personal lives. If they find out about this girl…”

“I know.” Seven answered “But I can’t have this life anymore, Vanderwood.”

“Seven, think about what you’re saying” Vanderwood said “Remember what I’ve always told you: people like us are in this life because we are trying to protect something. Think about the something you treasure… People, money, your goddamn life!

“I hear you, Vanderwood. Now, tell me: what would you do if you found out that your something is not protected at all? That you staying in the agency will only make things worse?”

There was silence on the other side of the line, followed by cursing. Saeyoung smiled. He had gotten him.

“What do you need me to do?” Vanderwood asked “Crap, Seven, you owe me now. Fuck you. You owe me bigtime.”

“I’ll pay you in cash, Madam” Saeyoung smiled, sitting on the couch “Now, I’ll send you the files to finish the job up. Thank you so much”

“Fuck you, kid” he answered.

. . .

Saeyoung rolled on the sofa, painting. The nightmare engulfed him deep as soon as he closed his eyes. The sound of her incessant yelling, his brother crying for help in the middle of the darkness, her invisible hands wrapped around his throat making it impossible for him to breath.

_Stupid bug._

He tried to run, to follow Saeran’s voice, but it grew distant and soon enough he saw her. Little Myung Chae crying in the corner, Saeran wrapped in her arms. The crazy woman walked in their direction, cursing at swearing at the two of them.

_Shut up._

As much as he tried, he could not reach them, running through the field of ropes that tied themselves to him, pulling him to the ground as he watched Myung and Saeran cry in pain and despair. He raised his hands, yelling for them, but at every moment they seemed even more out of reach.

“Saeyoung”

He opened his eyes, still panting as he lay on the couch. The girl's worried face was right above him as her hand stroked his hair.

“Saeyoung, are you okay?” she asked “ _Saeyoung”_

_“Are you okay?” Saeran asked as his brother opened his eyes._

_Saeyoung looked around, seeing the worn out covers, his brother’s face staring at him as they laid together on the floor. The sound of the loud TV played in the background. He sighed, holding Saeran’s hand._

_“I am” he stuttered “It was just a silly nightmare. You don’t need to worry about it”_

_“Are you sure?” Saeran asked “The super hero didn’t come this time?”_

_“Shut up both of you!” she yelled, making Saeyoung pull his brother closer by reflex._

_For a few minutes the two boys stood still in silence, holding each other in fear._

_“No, he didn’t” he whispered back to Saeran “But don’t worry about it, all right? I’m sorry for waking you up”_

_“You shouldn’t say that you are sorry for that” Saeran whispered back, stroking his brother’s hair “Everything is fine, Saeyoung”_

_“Let’s go back to sleep then. You know it’s the best to do” he kissed Saeran on the head._

MC kept looking at him, calling his name, telling him that it was over, that he was back to reality. Without a word he sat up, looking around. She was there. In the dream. She was there and their mother was hurting her. He pulled her arms, checking them for marks, bruises, anything, unable to stop.

“Are you okay? Are you alright?” he asked, panting and crying as he pulled up her sleeves. 

“Saeyoung, hey… I’m fine” she cupped his face with her hands “I’m fine, see? I’m safe. Don’t worry about me”

She hugged him close, sitting by his side on the couch. Holding her tight, he could not refrain from crying. Even if it was the past, he still shivered thinking of that woman that crawled in his nightmares. The scars were not only physical, they had been carved deep inside his mind. He was so scared of her as he was back then. But MC’s embrace was warm and loving, scaring away all those horrible fears. As she stroked his hair, he realized that he did not want her to leave. He loved her so very much and he was not running away that time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	10. Find Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some friendly warnings: there are some references to child abuse in this chapter

“You see? You need people around to hug you after a nightmare like that” MC giggled, handing Saeyoung the cup of tea. 

It was still early morning, much before dawn, but the boy could not calm down. He looked at her and smiled, moving to the side for her to sit next to him. Nights had never been an easy experience for him. Since he was a child his dreams were drenched in fear, deep monsters that were usually buried deep in his mind spreading his terrible arms over him, pulling him down a spiral of despair. Still, he could never show, as he knew that his brother had nightmares too. For long he had to be strong, ready to hug Saeran when he cried in his sleep and make him stop before their mother woke up, and even if his smaller brother tried to do the same for him, Saeyoung could not allow it. He was the older, it had always been like that. His brother was already burdened by their mother's beatings, he would not let him worry about him too. Care was a strange concept for Saeyoung Choi, but still, as MC sat near him, her shoulder softly brushing against his, he allowed himself to imagine that, maybe, such a thing would not be so bad to have.

“You know, I’m starting to think that you do have all the answers” he laughed, clinking his mug with hers.

They drank in silence, allowing the warm liquid to flow inside their bodies, calming both of them up. She had been woken by his screaming, but even she was not that fond of sleeping anymore. The nightmares crawled up her spine, the fear of being kidnapped once more settled in her mind, fogging her dreams with a figure of a strange man lurking in the shadows, grabbing her in her sleep and dragging her into the darkness. As he was hooded, she was never able to see his face until they entered the shadows in her bedroom and he displayed the gruesome facade of a white man with solely one mint eye in his face, no mouth or nose. Not once her subconscious had projected Saeran’s face on the figure, perhaps she was unable to accept that the sweet child she had met in the park had turned out to do things like that. Looking at her side, she saw the young man slowly sipping the tea, taking deep breaths, his tank top was drenched in sweat, but he did not mention moving away to change it. If she looked with attention, she could see the faded aspect of scars in his arms, but she did not fix on it for too long, averting her gaze back to her cup of tea, remembering his hands desperately rolling up her sleeves, checking her arms as if his own life depended on it. Her chest tightened. He had been through a lot. 

Upon finishing, MC left both mugs in the sink and disappeared in her bedroom, coming back with two blankets and her pillow, dropping them on the floor over the rug.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I can’t leave you alone in here” she said “I’m just setting stuff up, don’t mind me”

She took one of the thick blankets, folding it over the floor to emulate a mattress shape so that she would not lie down on the hard floor.

Seven giggled. “Are you serious?”

“Well, yeah” she looked at him “I actually could use some company too”

Saeyoung smiled at her, standing up “Well, then I’ll stay in the ground” he gently tried to make her move “Come on, off you go, take your blanket and your pillow and move to the couch” he pushed her softly “Don’t make me use my secret weapon.”

She laughed. “I don’t mind staying on the floor. Really, I-”

Before she could end her sentence up, he picked her up in his arms, dropping her over the couch. MC left as she fell on her back, supporting herself with her right arm to look at him.

“What was that?” she laughed.

“My secret weapon. You are so small it’s really easy to do that” he flashed her with a crooked smile “Now come on, give me my blanket and pillow” he pulled both of them from the couch “And you can have yours, I’m not going to lie my beautiful head where you drooled all night long”

“Charming” she answered, picking her pillow from his hand “Are you sure about it?” 

Saeyoung smiled at her, laying down without a word. 

“All right, Saeyoung Choi” MC said, fluffing her pillow before lying down “Your choice”

Saeyoung watched as she tried to find a comfortable position on the couch, her hair was loose and messy, some strands rebelliously looping and standing up as if they had their own opinion of how they should organize themselves. Still, she looked pretty as ever to him. The way she gave soft taps on the pillow, rearranging it against her back. Was that love?, he wondered. He had told her that there feelings for him to sort out, but that, he figured, was a lie. He had them all sorted out, as clear in his head as he felt them in his chest. What he really had to decide was if he had the strength and courage to face them. When MC turned sideways, she found him looking at her with a serene smile and shining golden eyes.

“What is it?” she blushed, smiling at him too.

“You saying my name…”

“Do you want me to stop?” MC worried “I can go back to Seven if you…”

“No, no” Saeyoung interrupted “I like it, that’s all”

Throughout his life, Saeyoung was a name yelled by his mother’s drunken voice, making him shiver in fear, or whispered by his brother’s fearful voice in the middle of the night. The only good memories he had of his name were the rare occasions when his brother laughed and smiled, but even those would hurt once they were separated. But upon listening to her say it, he thought that, perhaps, it could be something he could get used to. Saeyoung deserved that.

MC grinned, laughing softly as she looked to the young men. That was good. He pushed himself up, supported by his left elbow.

“So, you said you could use some company too… What is the matter that you needed this humble Defender of Justice’s assistance with?”

“Oh… It’s nothing” she answered.

“MC, come on” he sat up “Let’s not do the ‘it’s nothing’ stuff. I’m here with you”

She looked down, sitting up as well. Myung tried to find the correct words, but there were none. She tried to find a way of telling him that his brother caused her nightmares for two days in a row.

“Don’t freak out, all right? I’m not mad or anything, but..” she took a long breath “I’ve been having nightmares with being kidnapped for the past couple of days. I don’t blame Saeran or you, but…”

“It’s all right” he said, inching closer and taking her hand “You’re scared, that’s perfectly normal. What happened to you was really terrifying. I’m here, all right? If you dream about it again and you want to talk about it… I’m here.”

She squeezed his hand tight, thankful for his kind words. After seeing him blame himself so much for the past days, she feared that he would leave again if she told him the truth about the nightmares, but he was barely the same person from a few hours before. He was improving. Without another word, he lied back, pulling up the blanket.

“I’m here.” he repeated, looking at her “If you are ever afraid, just take my hand in the middle of the night and squeeze it really hard. I’m taking care of you.”

MC laid back down, smiling softly at his words. She did not know what was beginning there, it could be nothing, but she liked it very much.

. . .

_“Hello, young Yoosung!! What’s new with you?” Seven yelled on the phone, waiting for his friend's response._

_“Hey, Seven…” he heard Yoosung’s broken voice on the other side. It felt hollow._

_“Hey hey, so, I have an invitation for you. Let’s get something to eat tonight and watch a movie, what do you say?” Seven paced around, hearing closely for Yoosung’s voice._

_“I’m not in the mood right now” the boy answered, his voice cracking up “Just… Sorry, Seven. I… I don’t want to do it right now”_

_“Well, then can you at least open your door for me to use the bathroom, because it’s been a hell of a ride down here”_

_Yoosung hurried to his door, meeting a smiley 707 at the other side. Without excusing himself, he bursted in, dropping a backpack on the ground and running desperately towards the restroom. Yoosung did not understand how Seven had managed to get inside the building and go up to his apartment, nor did he know why his friend was there. All of them knew he was mourning still._

_“Ah, man, you saved me” Seven said, walking out of the bathroom “I’m relieved”_

_“I see…” Yoosung said “Well… I don’t want to be rude but…”_

_“Wow, what a mess, buddy!” Seven exclaimed, picking up a trash bag “Have you not cleaned up around here? Not with the Defender of Justice at your doorstep. Come, let’s fix the apartment up for you.”_

_“Seven, please” Yoosung begged, holding his friend still “I don’t want to. Just leave me alone, please” he began to cry “I don’t want to talk to anyone right now”_

_Seven relaxed, looking at his friend’s purple eyes. Slowly, he pulled Yoosung into a hug. The boy did not retribute, but he did not pull away. He was still, sobbing at Seven’s shoulder. Shortly after, he held Seven’s coat tight, without letting go. The last time they had seen and talked had been at Rika's funeral two months before. Yoosung sobbed, taken by the tears that overflowed him._

_“I’m sorry, Yoosung. But the last thing I’ll do right now is leaving you alone” Seven stroked his hair “Not until you get better. I’m here with you”_

. . .

707: Yoosung!!

Yoosung:... hey, Seven

707: Dude… awesome timing

Yoosung: Seven…

707: Super sry about yesterday.

Yoosung: You think a sorry will do?!

707:...

707: Yes!

MC: Seven… sincerely apologize!

707: Okay!

707: I’m sorry, Yoosung.

707: I just got too emotional…

707: and said things to hurt you…

Yoosung: So we are not cutting ties?

707: I’ll try…

707: to make sure it won’t happen

Yoosung: IT WON’T HAPPEN

Yoosung: I don’t know what complicated things are happening to you

Yoosung: But we’ve known each other for years!

Yoosung: You can’t just say goodbye

Yoosung: without giving us a chance to understand!

Yoosung: That’s not a human thing to do!

707: Nope, it’s not

Yoosung: FYI, a person grows

Yoosung: with trust and love!

Yoosung: When deceit and doubt fills you up,

Yoosung: you cleanse your mind through creative 

activities such as making organic soap

Yoosung: and escape your deep solitude by 

devoting yourself to society

Yoosung: Wait… this is one of mom’s lectures…

707: Oh!!!!

707: You want to make soap with meee

Yoosung: NO

Yoosung: Anyways,

Yoosung: I can feel that your heart’s back to the way it was.

Yoosung: ……

Yoosung: hmmmm

Yoosung: I’ll forgive you

707: Okay, thank you

Yoosung: You were always there for me in my darkest times,

Yoosung: I wanna be there supporting you too

Yoosung: SUPPORT SUPPORT SUPPORT

707: Thank you, Yoosung

707: As far as I can control, I’m not leaving ever again

. . .

Saeyoung walked around the kitchen, opening the delivery boxes and taking out the plates for them. He had called for MC two times already, but she had not answered. The bedroom door was open and she was not with her earphones. The red head wondered what was leading her to ignore him like that, if she was angry at him, if he had disturbed her during the night, if he had been a _nuisance._ Could it be? He had cried a lot near her that night, it could have scared her, made her see how weak he truly is. He took out his phone, standing somewhere he could see her from. It barely rang before she picked up, looking at him in the eye with a defying grin.

“You’re not going to eat? Why aren’t you answering me?” he watched her roll her eyes “Just… hang up and come here”

“Why is there only one pair of chopsticks on the table?” she asked, without breaking eye contact.

Saeyoung looked down at the set table.

“Because you’re the only one who’s going to eat” he explained, figuring that maybe he had said something wrong seeing that she closed up her face again.

“Then I’m not going to” she answered, pulling the laptop over her lap “I won’t eat if you don’t.”

He sighed. “Stop being so stubborn. I can just eat whatever later! Come over here”

“What are we having?” she asked, looking back to him.

“You like sushi, right? I ordered some because there’s rice in them. I ordered the house course and the special, so eat whatever you want.”

“I won’t eat if you don't,” she insisted.

“Fine” he sighed once more, flashing her with his crooked smile “Just come here now, I’ll eat! Come here!” he saw her giggle at him “Stop joking around with the phone and just sit here!” she kept laughing while holding the phone against her ear “Is it fun to tease me? I’m busy, hurry up”

He hung up, tuning around to take another plate for himself. Care. Someone to worry about you. Those feelings felt strange deep inside Saeyoung Choi’s chest. Something so simple, that was supposed to be shared only between him and his brother, was now making him surrounded by other people that offered him support. He caught himself wondering if he deserved such a thing, if he could allow himself to enjoy such gestures. Maybe he should, so that he could give it all to Saeran when he got him back.

. . .

_“It looks good,” Saeran said, looking down at the bowl Saeyoung placed on his hands._

_It was not everyday that the boys could get warm food, just when their mother was in what they could describe as a good mood. She had received the money from their father that day, so when Saeyoung asked if he could prepare a rice bowl with the old rice they had on the cupboard, she agreed with no other comment. It was a simple meal, but a feast for the two boys that mostly ate leftovers each couple of days._

_The older twin looked down at the rice, the beef he had found left on the fridge and the egg he had boiled and sticked in Saeran’s bowl. There was only one, so he should be the one to have it. Anything to see his brother smiling like that._

_“Thank you, hyung” the boy smiled_

_“Just take care not to burn yourself, I just finished it up” Saeyoung said “Since mom is out, we could go outside for a bit if you are feeling better today”_

_Saeran nodded, but soon after his chest shivered as he coughed. Winter was always a tough time for the twins, and Saeran had fallen victim of pneumonia once again._

_“Hey, it’s ok,” Saeyoung said, handing him a bottle of water. “Take it easy. The food is really warm, it… It will help you. We can play outside another time, don’t worry”_

_Saeran sighed, looking down at the small bowl of food in front of him. He really wished to go outside. Soon enough, he noticed the lack of an egg in Saeyoung’s bowl. Figuring what his brother had done, the boy split the egg in two the best way he could and placed one of the halves in his plate._

_“Uh?” the older asked “No, Saeran, I don’t want it. Really, you can eat. Enjoy”_

_“Just take it, Saeyoung” he said, smiling “You don’t need to eat less because of me. We can share the egg just like we share our clothes and blanket. Don’t worry about me so much” he gave his brother a kiss on the cheek “You should take care of yourself too”_

_Saeyoung smiled, looking down at his bowl. Saeran was such a good and kind hearted person while he… He was crooked from the start._

_“Thank you, Saeran” he said “You know, one day, I want to be really cool like you”_

_“Like me?” Saeran tilted his head to the side “But I’m not cool. I’m all weak and get sick all the time. Plus, you are so smart and always going out, running away from mom. I can’t do anything well, that’s why mom beats me the most”_

_“Don’t say that” Saeyoung insisted “You are so kind and sweet. You shouldn’t think those bad things about yourself. That’s mom talking. You are not any of this rubbish she tells you. You are much better than me in so many things, Saeran. I’m bad and really selfish sometimes, while you care about everyone, I doubt you could ever hurt someone and this is why you are so strong. You are awesome”_

_“And so are you” Saeran answered “You are all those things too, Saeyoung. You just can’t see it yet, but you are. You just need to understand who you truly are”_

Then tell me, Saeran, please. Who am I?

. . .

Saeyoung sat on the main hallway of the building, watching the numbers change on the elevator as the phone kept calling. 

“I’m already solving one of your problems, I can’t help with anything else” Vanderwood’s voice said from the other side.

“I’m not calling to ask for favors” Saeyoung answered, poking a plant vase at his side “Just wanted to talk to you, I’m alone now”

Vanderwood sighed on the other side of the line. Saeyoung knew that there should be a lot that the older agent wanted to know and still, he did not know what it could be. HE waited for him to yell at him, call him bad names and explain once more how irresponsible he was. But he didn’t. There was silence.

“What happened?” Vanderwood asked “Just… Give me the minimum of details, just tell me what the hell happened. You said that the _something_ you needed to protect was not safe anymore.”

“I don’t know” Saeyoung answered “I trusted people that I shouldn’t, that’s what happened. Now, the most important person to me is in danger and… And I have no idea what to believe now. To be honest, Vanderwood, I’m not sure if I know who I am anymore. All my life I’ve listened to people and tried to be what they needed me to be or follow someone’s instructions of how to live and move on, but now… Crap, I have no idea of what to do”

There was silence on the other side of the line.

“So… Now I’m supposed to hop in with life changing advice so that I can lead you to your ultimate solution of how to move on?” Vanderwood asked, unamused “Kid, come on. Do you want my opinion about it? Look, I’ve told you for years that life is fucked up, and that’s true, I abide to that. People like you and me, we have no place in the world, that’s why we keep on lurching in the shadows. We have nothing and we don’t belong anywhere” 

Saeyoung sighed. It was always the same speech. He was tired of listening to that, as if he could never take control of his own destiny, of his life.

“But, everyone has a special something to hold on to.” the agent continued “That moves us forward. I’ve told you that before. It can be the will to live, it can be money, a seek for thrill, vengeance, love, people, we all have something that we value more than anything in the world. It’s not me or anyone else who’s going to determine what is your thing and how valuable it is to you. Neither how far you’d go for it to be safe. You have a chance that I never had, you get to go and protect or something so just fucking do it. You won’t forgive yourself if you don’t.”

Saeyoung smiled. “But, Vanderwood, I keep thinking. If I cut ties with the agency and run away… You are responsible for me, you trained me, when they find out that I ran away and you covered for me, they’ll…”

“I know” Vanderwood answered, without changing his tone “I’m protecting my something, now you go and protect yours. They won’t find me so easy, and kid… Give me a call if you need me. I got your back”

He hung up before the boy. Alone in the hallway, Saeyoung smiled. He would take the lead for once in his life.

. . .

_“You’re not doing it right. Again” Vanderwood yelled, letting go of Seven, that was pinned to the floor._

_Physical training was the boy’s most hated part. He had no interest in fighting, neither in Vanderwood beating him up because he could not remember how he was supposed to hold the older man’s arm in the middle of the movement._

_“Come on, kid, get up” Vanderwood said “We are not done yet”_

_They were the only ones in the training room. Seven’s body was shaking. He was exhausted and the pain had already lodged in every inch of his body. He had been thrown to ground from every angle as possible and Vanderwood was not taking it easy on him. Whenever he was hit, it did hurt a lot. Panting, he got up again, staring deep in the older man’s eyes._

_“Good,” Vanderwood said, “At least you can get up. Now, come on.” he motioned towards himself “Punch me”_

_“I’m tired,” Seven aswered._

_“Me too,” Vanderwood answered “Now, punch me”_

_“I’m tired,” Seven repeated._

_“I don’t care” the older man said “Look, you need to learn this. I’m teaching you the basics of self defense so that you don’t die out there, because that’s what happens with snowflakes like you. I told you: once you do it right, we can go to bed. Now, punch me.”_

_Seven kept looking at him, panting, trying to catch his breath. He did not want to. Everytime Vanderwood hit him, he felt as if he was back on that forsaken home, with her, and he did not want that again. Not again._

_With all his strength, he tried to hit the man’s face. He thought he could do it, but soon, Vanderwood held him, twisting his arm in front of him._

_“That’s not how it’s done. Now you are dead”_

_The boy hissed in pain as Vanderwood did not let go, staring him in the eye as he continued._

_“You need to focus. I’m an asshole, punch me. Right now you must be wanting to, so come on. Do as I instructed and you’ll learn” he looked at the boy’s arm “You are quite thin, but still you should be able to-” he stopped, looking closely. When Vanderwood held him, his sleeve dropped down, revealing his arm covered in different sorts of scars. It had not been that long since he left her home, and even if he did, some marks never truly disappeared._

_“What the hell happened?” Vanderwood stopped twisting his arm, but kept holding it tight “Kid, what the hell happened with you?”_

_“Nothing” Seven answered, trying to pull his arm back “Let me go”_

_“No, kid, I’m serious” Vanderwood pulled his arm up to look closely, seeing the scars scattered through the skin “Did the other agents do this to you? Was it them? I know that they beat you up when you got here, but this is really serious”_

_Seven did not want to explain, he did not wish to talk about anything with the jerk in front of him._

_“It wasn’t, let me go” he continued to pull his arm away, hoping that he could break free and run back to his dormitory._

_“I wanna help,” Vanderwood insisted. “You are a valuable person to the bosses, if they learn that they did this to you, they’ll actually receive some sort of punishment. They can’t…”_

_Saeyoung punched the man’s stomach with his other hand, prompting him to let go off his arm. The boy took a few steps back, crying, rushing to pull down his sleeve to cover his arm again._

_“What the hell, Seven? I’m trying to help you! I can solve this if you tell me…”_

_“It was my mom!” Seven yelled “Are you happy now? It was my mom that got drunk and beat me up, hurt me so many times I cannot remember, threw her stupid beer bottles at me and that’s what happened” the boy sobbed “Is it what you wanted to know? Fuck you, Vanderwood”_

_The boy sat on the floor, bracing himself and crying more than he had done since he left home. He hated that place, that life, that guy. He wanted to go back to his brother. All he wished for was the day when he could go back to Saeran. He sobbed, his chest shivering as the air seemed unable to fill out his lungs. It was too much for him to take. Suddenly, a hand rested, upon his shoulder. He did not move, he did not stop._

_“Let it all out” Vanderwood said, sitting by his side “Just… Let it out. It’s fine”_

_For a while the boy cried, letting the tears wet down his sleeves, dripping to his legs. Vanderwood tried to murmur apologies, but the boy barely listened. It did not matter anymore. Even after he calmed down a little, he could not look to Vanderwood, so he kept staring at the ground near his feet._

_“With me it was my dad” Vanderwood broke the silence, his voice unusually softer than the relaxed tone he would usually portray. He spoke low, almost gentle “The guy was crazy. He was outside all day, getting wasted and doing some crap that was neither working nor taking care of his family. Then, at night, when he arrived… He would beat the crap out of me”_

_Seven timidly raised his eyes to him and found Vanderwood looking back at him._

_“It was tough. There were days when I thought that I would die. See this?” he pulled his collar to the side, revealing a scar that covered most part of his left shoulder “I’m not giving you the details, but yeah. It was bad.” Vanderwood looked back at Saeyoung “I’m gonna tell you something that I wish someone had told me when I was about your age, ok? And I need you to listen this time because it’s important: It is not your fault. When those things happen to us, we tend to think that we deserve the blame because we spoke too loudly or we changed the TV channel, but it isn’t. The only people to blame are the fucked up adults that do this to their kids. Do you get me?”_

_Seven nodded, taking a deep breath as he looked at Vanderwood. He could not understand how the agent could change so much. In his mind he wondered how many masks the agents used and if he had ever been able to talk to the true Vanderwood underneath all of them._

_“I need you to toughen up because that’s what will keep you alive. Our job is not easy and even though you’ll probably stay all the time behind a screen, defensive combat is always useful, it means safety for you. And you need to be tough, kid. Life is not getting any easier from now on. I pushed you really hard today, but I’m not making it easier for you. I can’t and it’s not because people are forcing me to, but if you don’t toughen up, you won’t last. And I don’t want that. You are truly a brilliant kid and I think that, maybe, one day, you can leave this place. But you need to hang on before that.” he stood up, reaching his hand for Seven to help him stand “Let’s wrap things up for today, come on. Go take a shower, eat and go to bed. We’ll continue tomorrow”_

_They walked together in silence until they reached Seven’s bedroom. Before the boy closed his door, Vanderwood looked at him deep in the eye._

_“Look, you are not alone now. We are a team, we take care of each other, you and me” he closed his fist, offering to bump it out with the boy “I got your back”._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	11. My Own Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some friendly warnings: there are some references to child abuse in this chapter

_Saeyoung walked along the street, looking down at the small shopping list his mother had given him. It was early afternoon, a little after what most people called lunch time. He rushed down the street, Saeran was alone with her, he had to be fast in order to go back to him. Unfortunately, the only store where the owner sold alcoholic beverages to anyone was way too far from his home, which meant more time away from his brother, making him pick up his pace._

_When he turned around the corner, he froze. There were two men in black suits talking in earphones. He knew who they were. They were father’s men, people who were there to take him away. He had seen them before, following him around, always keeping an eye on him. Slowly, the boy tried to back away, desperately trying to go back behind the building to hide from those horrible people, but before he could reach the corner, one of them raised his eyes and saw him. The hair. Always the stupid bright red hair. Saeyoung turned around and ran._

_The boy could hear the heavy footsteps of the men behind him. He had to escape. He had to escape. They were bigger and stronger, but Saeyoung knew those streets. For all his life he had roamed them, going on errands, running away after small shopliftings to bring food to his brother. He knew all the hiding spots and the men did not. Bringing them to a series of alleyways, he kept running in circles, leading them through the maze that he knew so well. Seeing that they had lost sight of him, the boy jumped inside a huge dumpster, closing the lid over him. There he stood still, panting, shivering in fear, trying to listen over the thundering sound of his beating heart. Steps, muffled talk of where he could be, walkie talkie sound, someone talking with the boss. The boss. His father. The boy curled up in the dumpster, waiting for them to leave. He could barely understand what they were saying, he also did not want to. It did not matter. His father did not matter. One day, he and his brother would be free from him. In the dumpster, he allowed himself to cry for a few minutes. That was all he had for that day. Just a few minutes so that he would not cry at home. He had to be strong, maybe a little too strong for his age._

. . .

_Saeyoung had always been afraid of their mother. Before he entered the home, he stuffed the cross necklace Rika gave him in his front pocket and took a deep breath. He checked the bags once more to see if he had gotten everything. Slowly, he unlocked the door, taking one last deep breath of fresh air before being stroked by the bitter stench of alcohol and cigars._

_“What took you so long?”_

_He never received a hello, nor a concernment if he had been safe, if something happened on the way. Returning home was accusatory, it was fear of what would happen to him next, it was finding the right words in a minimum amount of time. She pulled the plastic bags out of his hands before listening to his answer._

_“There was a problem in the register and there was a line…” he stuttered, taking a few more steps forward “I… I’m sorry. I tried to come as fast as I could”_

_There was no answer. She was checking if he had done it right. Saeyoung dared taking a few more steps inside, hoping to see his brother, but her cold words made him stop again._

_“Where is the change?”_

_The change. He should have stuffed it in the bags. No, it would have been worse. The weight on his hoodie’s front pocket made him worry, reminding him of how he had wasted her money on something that was not for her. She wouldn’t notice. She wouldn’t notice. Saeyoung waited still as she checked the notes and coins he gave her. He tried to look to their corner, at least see Saeran for a bit, wave him hello, but before he could move she pulled him by his shoulder._

_“There is money missing, where is the rest?”_

_Her voice resonated in his ear, but he didn’t look at her. He couldn’t look._

_“The beer was more expensive than last time” he answered with the lie that he had practiced on the way “Since… Since it is your beer, I thought that it would not be a problem”_

_He held his hoodie tight, holding his breath until she let go off him. It was fine. It had worked. Still, he did not move. Let me go. Let me go to him._

_“You can take the cheese and crackers in the fridge for you and your brother.”_

_Saeyoung backed away without a word, opening the fridge and taking what she allowed them to have. He hated the errands and leaving his brother, but most times, if he did things well, if he found the right words, he could get things for both of them._

_Saeyoung entered the home and as soon as he left the narrow corridor of the kitchen, he could see Saeran kneeling on the ground, expectantly waiting for him. The younger boy smiled upon seeing him, raising his arms ready to embrace him as soon as his own knees hit the ground in front of his brother. Coming back home with Saeran was love, it was feeling the warmth of his twin and listening to how much he missed him for the time he was out. It was being asked if he had been safe, that he was worried about him. It was feeling Saeran’s weak hands stroke his hair, asking if they could play together that afternoon, to which he would always say yes. It was seeing Saeran’s small figure stuffed in the new hoodie V had given them, too large at Saeyoung’s request so that his brother could use it for a long time, smiling at the sight of cheese and crackers._

_“I have a surprise for later, when mom goes to sleep” Saeyoung whispered, smiling as his brother’s face lit up._

_It did not take long for her to doze off in front of the TV. After waiting a bit more, to make sure that she would not wake up, Saeyoung took a chocolate bar out of his front pocket, explaining to his brother what it was and seeing him smile as he took the first bite. Home was telling him stories about the outside world as they laid on the ground, adding up extraordinary elements just to see him laughing and calling him out. He got it right almost all the time. For as long as Saeyoung could remember, he and his brother were always together. Life was tough, but Saeran made it all go away, even in the worst times. Before they went to sleep, curled up together, Saeyoung prayed for them to be free from their parents. He prayed for Saeran to be able to go outside and get stronger. For him to laugh and smile, having all the time in the world to see the flowers that he had always loved so much. He promised himself that he would give that life for his brother, no matter what sacrifices he had to make._

. . .

_Day after day he read the thick book Rika had gotten him._

_“You have great potential” she smiled, her kind words always got him, as a kind embrace in his heart “You truly have a talent, Luciel. You should explore it in order to take your brother away from your mother. I know people that need someone good at computers. If you learn, I can tell them about you for future jobs”_

_He dedicated himself, reading and learning whenever his mother wasn’t home. But he would never allow Saeran to look inside those books. He did not know what the computer stuff they wanted him to do was, but he knew it was bad. It fitted him. He was a crooked child. His brother could never see those things, he did not want Saeran to ever imagine those things existed. Saeran was the good one and he was the bad one._

_“You are not bad” V had told him whenever he asked._

_But how could he not be? He knew that he would do anything for his brother. He had stolen things before, food and medicine that he and Saeran could not pay for, and he saw people saying on TV how it was bad to do so. Saeyoung could not understand how letting his brother starve or not giving him the medicine he needed was better than shoplifting when the situation was truly bad and he had no one to ask for help, but the TV people said it was. He was bad and Saeran was good. That was why he should be the one to do the mean jobs and Saeran could never know. He did not know about the shoplifting, he would not know about that either._

_“I know this agency” V told him one day “If you work for them, you can change your name. There will be no Saeyoung Choi for your father to chase.”_

_It was all he ever wanted. Him and Saeran away from their father’s gaze for the rest of their lives. Freedom. It seemed like a dream for the young boy._

_“If you do so, I’d like to ask you to consider me as a father figure from now on”_

_V had always been that. He never told him that, but him and noona were the first parents he ever had, for Saeran too. Both of them showed him how parental love could be. Would he live with them now? Would he and Saeran finally have a family?_

_“But for that, you must leave Saeran”_

_Leave Saeran._

_Leave._

_No. He couldn’t. Saeran needed him. Saeran was always sick, their mother would kill him if Saeyoung abandoned him. No. V could not be serious. Saeran needed help with the most basic things, he needed Saeyoung. And above all, Saeyoung needed him. He couldn’t. He couldn’t. V promised that he and Rika would care for him, that one day they would be reunited, it was just for some time, but how could he abandon the brother he swore to protect? His first answer was no._

_But his brother got sicker. Their mother got meaner. Every night the boy cried, asking why that was his only choice. Why should he leave the only thing that made him want to live? To protect him from far away. He could not have Saeran, he would never have a family, but his brother could. His brother deserved it, because Saeran was good and he was bad. Saeran deserved love, Saeyoung deserved to live a life where he would barely exist. Saeran would be happy and knowing that was enough. His second answer was yes._

_He planned to leave before his brother woke up, he could never say goodbye. For Saeran, not knowing would mean that he was safe from their mother and father. V would explain it to him. But he woke up and Saeyoung had to lie. Not as one of the stories he told saeran before sleeping. It was a lie. But in the lie there was a promise. A promise so strong that Saeyoung would never forget._

_“I’ll be back soon, I promise. Please, be good, all right? Be brave and good and take care of yourself. It’ll be just a couple of hours, but I want you to be safe. Promise me you’ll be brave if mom is mean again. I love you, Saeran. I love you so much. Go back to sleep now, it’s still early. I’m just going to get those things on the market for mom. You don’t need to be afraid if I’m not here when you wake up because I’m coming back, you know that I am.”_

_He would come back. He would make his brother safe. He would make sure that he was happy._

_There was nothing Saeyoung wouldn’t do for Saeran, that was why he left the house that morning; He trusted V’s words, he endured training, he worked in the shadows. He did it all because he was bad and Saeran was good._ But now he was going back.

He would finally fulfill his promise. He had sacrificed everything for Saeran. He always did. Now it was time to save his brother one last time.

. . .

MC had spent most part of the afternoon in her bedroom, engulfed in the mission of finishing college work in order to focus all her attention in mint eye’s investigation. It gave him time before he called out for her that evening. She had given him time to sort out his feelings and he did. Saeyoung thought about her making him have lunch, about them sharing the living room that morning because neither of them managed to sleep alone, how he made her cry and how deeply sorry he would ever be for that. He remembered how his heart beated faster since the first time he saw her in his life. For once, Saeyoung sorted out his feelings. He was ready.

She looked puzzled as she entered the room, seeing him standing there, in the same hoodie as usual, hands on his back and a soft smile stamped on his face.

“Hi” she said “What’s up?” she smiled

“Hi” he took a deep breath “I… I need to talk to you. Umh…” 

He did not know where to start. His palms were sweating, feeling the weight of the small surprise he made for her. Breathing, he made himself focus. It was time.

“I asked you for some time,” he said to her, staring deep into her eyes. He talked slow, paused. He needed to slow down. He had spent his life running away, but not anymore. Not that day. “I thought that I needed to sort out my feelings. That I needed to comprehend everything inside my chest. But I was wrong. I’ve always known what those terrifying sensations in me are, but for so long I’ve been scared of opening the door and letting them out. It would not be fair for me to be the one to decide something that regards both of us.” he smiled at her “I may not have a complete answer to give you, MC, but, if you gave me the honour, I’d love to find it out with you.” he took the small cat robot out of his back, watching as she gasped, smiling at the robot she had only heard about in this chatroom “This is something that Seven began. It was a way for Luciel to run away from what he needed to do. And now, this is something Saeyoung finished and I want you to have it. Because it was always you, MC. Since the first time, it was meant to be you.” tears fell down his face, but the young man smiled “I’m really bad at this, but all I want to say is… I love you, Myung Chae. I always did, always will. You are one of my best memories I have and it pains me to see how awful I was with you because I was so afraid. All my life, I allowed others to lead it for me, being it because I was afraid of them or because I blindly trusted them. Not anymore. I want the life you showed me I can have. I want to be free, and it would be a great honour to start it by figuring us out”

He waited for her, watching her smile, looking to the side and back to him. MC moved closer and time stopped. Space froze. The kiss was soft, tender. Her hands in his cheek felt warm. As he embraced her, it was clear for him that he could never let go. He would never let go. As quickly as it began, they parted, but were still holding each other close, the tip of their noses scraped each other as their foreheads connected.

“I love you too, Saeyoung Choi” she answered “I love you too”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	12. Investigation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly warnings: this chapter contains a dose of manipulation and references to child abuse.

“I’m going to admit, Myung Chae: your stalking skills impress me” Seven said, staring at the wall covered in notes about each member of the RFA “You’ve been doing this since you joined?”

She had spent the last fifteen minutes explaining to him each detail of her “wall of facts”. They were sitting on the bed, their legs crossed, and Saeyoung did not seem able to express another feeling except for gasping in wonderment. Their names were drawn in special ways, each one of them decorated with themes that suited their personalities. There were small strings that connected each one of them plus side notes of things they had mentioned in the chats prior. MC was waiting to hear what he had to say. At first, she felt really ashamed of showing him what she had done, but upon seeing him laugh and smile, reading each one of her notes, it all seemed worth it.

“Since I joined” she smiled “Almost two weeks ago, yes. You guys for sure talk a lot” she giggled.

“Good to know that our information flow is this high” he laughed, seeing the word ‘Seven’ written in a piece of paper, surrounded by little stars and spaceships “Oh, now let’s see what Myung Chae had to say about Seven. ‘He hacks’, that’s true. ‘Cute’, thank you. ‘Tried to kidnap Jumin’s cat’, kidnap is a tough word. I’d say that I tried to give Elly my love that Jumin denied her to have.” he laughed, lowering his eyes once more. His smile shifted to a softer expression “Is he Saeyoung Choi?” he read “Crap, you were really puzzled stuck in here, right?”

“Just a bit” she motioned her fingers indicating a little “So, yeah. My small wall of facts. There are some things that are disconnected, but, overall, that’s what we have”

MC smiled watching him read her notes, giggling at comments he made about the other members such as “oh, the cat mom!”, “you should put musical fangirl as top information”, “Yoosung is the number two player of Lolol, add it to the list”, and “you know that Zen and Jumin like each other deep down, right?”. Suddenly, the young man stopped, looking at the newest paper on the wall. It was next to his name, just a bit to the side. It was written in the same way as the others, decorated with small flowers. It read “Saeran”.

“I thought that he deserved one as well” MC explained, getting closer to him “We’ll find him, Saeyoung. You know that, right?”

He nodded, turning his gaze back at her. Saeyoung knew. 

. . .

MC was sitting on the couch, her laptop being balanced on her lap as she read a profile of one person that claimed to have received one mint eye invitation. There was never much to see on those. They all seemed more of the same collection of “photos with friends, memes and cute animal photos” set, that was basically every profile on the internet. She sighed, rubbing her eyes. A pattern, that was what she was looking for. Just a pattern.

“You really shouldn’t rub your eyes like that,” Saeyoung said, handing her one cup of coffee.

“I can’t find anything,” she said, taking the steaming cup off his hands, raising her eyes to meet he’s. “It’s so weird. I mean, they’ve reached out for a number of people, that’s for sure. There are enough posts talking about the ‘creepy cult invitation’ for us to assume that. But still, there are no other signs of anything! Even those posts talking about the email invitation are vague and don’t seem to have enough reach.”

Saeyoung sat next to her on the couch, tilting closer in order to see the computer screen.

“That’s crazy” he said “I’ve seen my share of weird stuff, but… Weird and mysterious cult stuff? Not everyday”

Saeyoung took a long sip of his cup of coffee, unaware of the nonexistent distance between them. MC did not mind. She looked up to him and smiled for a brief second, thinking how beautiful he looked serious like that. It did not take long for her to notice how every time Saeyoung began to read or work on something, he would push his glasses up his nose, even if they were as high as they could be. She found it endearing.

“But what do people say about it?” he asked “Are there any comments or, I don’t know, theories…”

“None of the posts had much reach” MC answered “Those people were not really noticed online. Some friends commented, for what I could understand, but that was basically it” after a few moments of hesitation, she rested her head on his shoulder and made a confession “I’m tired”

“Me too” he answered to her, gently stroking her hair “I hate this, it’s like I’m missing something”

They kept staring at the screen, sharing that moment of confusion. MC had spent hours surfing the internet, trying once more to get any sort of information, but to no avail. Even the pattern that she longed to find among the people that received the invitation seemed a distant illusion. There was nothing, causing her a feeling of frustration. Still, being near Saeyoung was comforting. He was soft and tender, so attentive at all times. 

“We’ll figure it out” she said, taking one of his hands “Now, don’t freak out, all right? But we should take a look in that drawer”

Saeyoung sighed. Deep down, he did not want to, because he knew that whatever was in there would hurt. It was the secret V had kept from him. It was the proof of V’s distrust. It was V breaking his promise. 

“I need to figure out some stuff on the special security system” he answered “Saeran did some weird stuff with the code, I’m trying to keep it stable and then manage to reverse it to what it was.”

MC gave him a kiss on the cheek, letting her laptop slip to the couch before she got up. 

“Where are you going?” he asked, picking the laptop up and taking it to the table, reading the content on the screen.

“I’ll make us lunch. No one thinks well without food” she said, opening the kitchen counter to scavenge something to eat.

“We can just order something,” Saeyoung proposed.

“Oh, no, takeout every day is not good” MC giggled “Come on, ginger boy. I know you lived based on chips and soda, but now your life is about to change”

Saeyoung smiled, supporting his chin with his hand while he looked at her. Yes. His life was going through a big change, this terrified him to his very core. His unsafe life had always been a token of safety for his brother, but now it had all crumbled to nothing. Half of his life seemed to have been wasted in an impossible quest. Slowly, he had to pick every piece and put them back together, one by one. Myung Chae gave him the strength to do so.

. . .

MC tossed and turned in bed that night. The shadows seemed to lurch closer to her bed, trying to grab her feet that were always hidden under the covers. As they approached her head and fogged her mind, all she could see was the dark. It was cold, empty, she had to touch herself in order to make sure that she was there. Her feet began to feel wet, there was water up to her ankle and she was barefoot, she felt it, she knew it. Upon her first step, the water lit up, glowing in bright mint, and began to raise it’s level. Desperate, Myung tried to swim, pushing herself up and keeping her head out of the water, gasping for air. Suddenly, a sharp sting ran through her leg, signaling the chain that pulled her down. Kicking and pulling, the girl tried to break free, desperately squirming as she felt the liquid fill her mouth, cover her nose and trap her underwater, unable to breathe. MC felt her chest tighten, pain bolted through her body as the urge to breathe grew stronger. Water engulfed her lungs and as she felt the shadows coming back, a hand held her tight, pulling her arm and allowing the shackles to loose up, pulling her out of the water. 

Laying on the cold floor, Myung looked up to her savior. Areum stood in front of her, each of her freckles in the same place they used to be when she was alive, her aspect sixteen years old seemed to shine among the darkness, her face displaying the same crooked smile her friend had always portrayed. Before MC could say a word, Areum pointed to the water once more, prompting her to take a look. Slowly, the girl crawled to the edge of the water, looking deep down. On the bottom, curled up with a chain on his foot, was a small ginger child, deep asleep. Saeran Choi. MC raised her head, wishing to ask Areum for help, she had to take him out too, but her friend had already left. There was no one else; only Myng Chae, the darkness, and the sleeping boy in the water. She was scared, terrified as she glared at the deep waters. The boy was asleep, not drowning like her, but he still had to get out, she had to get him out. 

As MC looked around, trying to find a way to set him free, something began crawling in the corner of her eye. She could not see it, but felt in her gut how dangerous it was, the dark energy coming near her, crawling along the floor. Instinctively, she looked back into the water and, by doing so, saw a shadow heading towards the child. MC screamed for Saeran, begging for him to wake up, but at the moment when she threw herself on the water, the shadow engulfed her and there was nothing more.

MC woke up crying. Hands held her down and her first instinct was to fight them, get free because she had to rescue the boy.

“Shh, MC it’s all right. You’re awake and safe” 

She stopped, opening her eyes to see Saeyoung sitting on the edge of her bed. He rested one of his hands on her arm and another on her hair. MC sat up abruptly, making him shift where he was seated, but not leave her side. The dream. She had dreamed about Saeran and mint colored water and… Areum. She dreamed about Areum. It had been long since she last dreamed about her friend. She curled up, accepting the hug he offered, nesting herself near his chest. Quietly, Saeyoung stroked her hair, repeating that she was fine and safe, that it had just been a dream.

“Are you all right?” Saeyoung asked, looking at her without pushing her away “I was still awake when I heard you scream. It was as if you were talking to someone” he pointed out “Wake up, wake up! You need to wake up, we need to leave” he imitated. “Do you want to talk about it?”

MC proceeded to tell him about the rising water and the chain, how her friend saved her but Saeran was stuck in the bottom, with the lurking shadow always at their feet.

“That’s creepy” Saeyoung said, crossing his legs over the bed as she sat straight in front of him “But, you should not worry about that. It was just a dream. You are tired and scared, that’s all. Also, we did research a lot about Mint Eye today, that’s a whole bunch of information for your brain to process.”

“I guess that’s it” she said, trying to shrug it off, but the image of Areum pointing to the water was printed in her brain “What time is it?”

“Eleven thirty” he answered “Something like that. You did not sleep for too long”

MC allowed herself to fall back on the bed, it had been less than half an hour since she fell asleep. Saeyoung looked at the girl that kept staring at the ceiling with a worried look on her face. Without a second thought, he layed back on the bed himself.

“What are you doing?” she asked, looking at him with the corner of her eye.

“Keeping you company” he answered, staring at the ceiling “I can leave if you want to, I just don’t know how to help you and, you know, company is good. Keeps the nightmares away” he looked at her, a smirk stamped in his lips.

“You are doing well for someone that doesn’t know how to help, ginger boy” she giggled, turning sideways to face him. His golden eyes seemed to shine brighter in the dim light. “I don’t want to sleep right now… I really don’t. It’s not like I’m scared, I just...”

Saeyoung turned sideways, taking her hand in his, giving it a gentle kiss.

“Wanna talk for a bit?” he asked.

“Yes” she answered, sighing in relief “I do. What should we talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” he said, laughing softly before an idea crossed his mind “Tell me, when did you move to the city?”

“Didn’t you run a background check on me?” she laughed.

“Can we pretend I didn’t and that we are a regular… couple?” she laughed seeing him struggling to say words regarding their mysterious relationship. Truth was that neither she knew the name of what they had, but it did not matter, they were figuring it out together. “Ok, look. We’ll ask each other questions, that’s our first date, what do you say?”

MC stared deep into his eyes. To have a first date laying on a bed, asking each other questions was something that never crossed her mind, still, it seemed to fit the well.

“All right” she took a deep breath “You may start”

“So… What brought you to town?” he flashed her with that bright smile of his.

She knew he already knew the answer. If he had run a background check on her, he would know the answer for many things.

“I moved in here to start college” she answered, keeping a straight face and pretending that he was unaware of everything. He helped by nodding and making interested expressions. “You know... I was raised in a small farm, in a village a few hours from here. After my grandma died, I moved here and started studying art.” MC took a deep breath, giggling a bit “Let me see, Mr. Seven-Zero-Seven. Now it’s my turn to uncover your secrets. I wanna know who Ms. Vanderwood is.”

Saeyoung laughed at her question. “Vanderwood is, first of all, a guy and he is the agent in charge of… well, basically, he makes sure that I’m alive and safe, also makes me do my job and eat vegetables.”

“So he’s your nanny” she giggled.

“Very funny, Myung Chae” he commented, but soon he frowned, looking into her eyes “I wanted to say, I’m sorry about your grandmother. She seemed very nice. At least, well… She was kind to us when we were kids”

“Thank you” she held his hand tight “Yeah, it was tough losing her. She raised me since I was six years old. It’s so weird because I barely knew her since I moved to Japan when I was just a couple months old. I think that we visited her just a handful of times, and I was really young. So, when my parents died and I came back to South Korea… She was everything I got and I did not know anything about her. Then, just a little bit later, she became my whole world” MC smiled sadly, feeling some droplets of tears form in her eyes.

“Oh, no, no, don’t cry!” Saeyoung wiped the small wet tracks on her cheeks “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to cry.” 

“It’s all right,” she said, placing her hand over his “I love talking about her, it brings up good memories. Really does.”

Saeyoung smiled upon listening to her talk like that. If possible, he felt that he was falling in love with her at every second they spent together. The way she talked and smiled, so vibrant and full of life. He wanted to be like that one day, he wanted to be good enough for her and completely ignore the voice on his head that kept repeating that this love was not for him. One day he would be able to.

“I believe that it’s my turn to ask the question, then” he pointed out, sitting up on the bed and hugging a pillow “So, Miss Myung Chae, tell me. How come you lived in Japan? That’s really cool.”

She giggled. “My mom was Japanese, my dad was born here, in this town, actually. She came here because of the company she worked for, it turns out that my dad was an intern in that same company.” She sat up, crossing her legs “My mom was a business woman, very centered and objective, graduated as top of her class. She was really young and already had an awesome career, that old story. My dad, on the other hand, was failing to become an inventor. He tried to do all kinds of mechanical stuff and everything failed miserably, at least that’s what grandma and mom used to tell me. He worked as an intern in the company because a friend of his had recommended him, anyways, completely different energies. My mom was a total classroom nerd and my dad was a college-dropout nerd that knew every single bit about the Stair Wars universe lore.”

“You are the result of the chaotic nerds union” he laughed.

“Yup, that’s me” she giggled “Basically, they fell in love at first sight, but neither of them had the guts to tell each other, so my dad kept trying to impress her with the craziest inventions you could imagine. I grew up listening to so many stories about gadgets he made just to look good in front of her.” MC laughed “Anyways, they ended up getting married, which pissed off her family because she was from a rich family back there in Japan and my dad had absolutely no money. So, since this story is definitely a k-drama, they disowned her”

“Are you kidding?” he exclaimed “Really?”

“Yes. One of my uncles from my father’s side did not like too, but because she is Japanese and this uncle truly believes that if you are Korean you should marry Korean people”

“Lovely”

“Yeah, I never met him” she said “I really don’t want to either. But my other uncle is really cool, he just lives a bit far away.” MC nodded “Anyways, I’m getting sidetracked here. My mom and my dad got married and a little bit after I was born, they had to move to Japan because my mom was transferred back. By then, my dad had quit his job and was managing to make some small inventions and, sometimes, sell them for a reasonable price. And that’s how we lived until the accident” the girl sighed “It was a car crash. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“I’m sorry about it” Saeyoung said “Well, you have silver spoon blood, then?”

“No, I don’t, ginger boy” she giggled “We never had a lot of money and my grandma definitely did not have much money either. In fact, I’m using all the money they left me to pay for college and live here in the city. A lot of investments are being made right now” MC smiled “But do you want to know the most random trivia? Guess for which company they worked for when they met.”

“No way” Saeyoung laughed “C&R?”

MC nodded and both of them bursted laughing, falling backwards on the bed. Their game of questions continued through the night. They did not know who was the first one, but among laughs and stories, soon both of them fell asleep, drifting away in sweet dreams.

. . .

The steps resonated loudly on the empty hallways. As he walked, being dragged by the believers that held his arms too tight, Ray shivered in fear and cold. The sun never seemed to enter through the wide windows, allowing a lurching shadow to form in the neatly clean corners of Magenta. Ray, for once, never understood this feeling, but he reprimanded himself for thinking about that. He was not allowed to think about that because he could never understand. _Stupid airhead. Stupid. Stupid._ Ray had no right of questioning their paradise. Sometimes he wondered if paradise shouldn’t be warm. _Shut up._ He had no right of wondering about what paradise was like. Savior had already been kind to accept him, an airhead like him never deserved the privilege of living in a place like that. _Stop thinking._ Thinking was not good for him, if he thought, he had ideas and his ideas were never bright, like him. _Ideas of a moron._ He did not deserve to think. 

The two believers tugged him forward as he slowed down his pace. _Idiot._ If he was too slow, Savior would keep waiting. She was wasting her time with him, always exercising her benevolence to give him attention, to worry about him, to guide him towards the light even if that’s not where he belongs. Even after the shame of being cleansed again, she still accepted him. After him failing her, betraying her trust, being prideful and an _idiot, idiot, idiot._ That other him was no good for saviour. He disobeyed, not - _We disobeyed and you were weak not to get her. If we brought her, Saviour would have been pleased with the surprise. We couldn’t because you are a coward._ Ray was a coward. _Weak._ Ray was weak.

The believers opened the tall wooden doors, guiding him inside the main hall. Ray kept his head low, he had no right of ever looking up. Even the two believers that had been in charge of his cleansing for the past days were worthy of looking at her, but he wasn’t. _Because you are weak._ He was not worthy after having to be cleansed again. Most believers went through the cleansing ceremony just once. They never strayed from the rightful path. _They are not useless like you._ And still Savior always accepted him back.

“You showed your lack of worth once more, my child” Savior had said before starting the cleansing ceremony, whispering it just for him as she knew that the humiliation was already too grand “But we’ll take you back into our loving arms. Do not stray again, Sae-”

She called him by the other name, but now Ray was back. Ray was the truly useless one, he knew that, but that was what he deserved. _Weak. Useless._ Savior was disappointed in him. She had ordered the others to punish him, and he deserved it. Every drop of the elixir that burned inside his body, he truly deserved it. Every beating for him to be cleansed, he deserved it too. _Idiot-idiot-idiot._

The believers pushed him down, forcing him to kneel. Even without looking, he knew that she would be sitting in her chair, peacefully looking at the useless him. At the bad him. _At stupid Ray._ Keeping his head down, hoping for the pain in his body to disappear, he knew that she was coming down the steps, her neatly clean robe brushing softly on the floor. _Shame._ His sins crawled down his neck as he remembered everything he had thought, every single instant that he dared to question her, even if in his own head. _Don’t think._ The instants in the cleansing ceremony, that got longer every time he had to go through it, in which he had questioned if he really should have to endure such pain. _To dumb to see the truth._ He was truly too dumb to understand her, to see the beautiful paradise. She stood in front of him, he knew because he saw the lower part of her robes so close, but not touching him in any way. _Forgive us, Savior._ He had sinned and since the ceremony she had not talked to him again. The two sentences she had directed towards him were the only words she had said to him for the past three days. _You are not worthy of talking to her._ _Stupid bug._

“Is it truly complete?” she asked one of the believers.

“Yes, my Saviour. As you requested, he has been cleansed. We were just waiting for the elixir side effects to wear off” the believer answered, respectfully bowing at the Saviour’s presence.

“Good. Wait outside.” Saviour ordered “I want to talk to my child in private”

 _Her child._ Everything became worse with that. He was her child. Saviour had so kindly accepted him in his weakest state, taken care of his wounds, teached him true love. She had always been so merciful with him, a little weed that should have been stomped to the ground. _You failed her._ He had broken her trust. _Bug._ A good for nothing like him did not deserve it, and still she called him “her child” in the presence of others. _Useless filth._

“I see that you came back as Ray, temporarily, I assume” she said, walking around him and stopping facing her chair, her back turned at him “Is there something you wish to say now that you returned to the shadows with us?”

Savior, always so kind. Always fair and good to him. He did not deserve it, but she allowed him to speak. He needed the good words, the right ones that would please her. _Do not disappoint her if you don’t want to go back to the basement._ That place, so dark, where humidity made him feel sick and his foot was always chained, such a terri- _A place of learning for those who deserved to be punished for their incompetence._ He should not be thinking such things, but an urge to leave rushed through his chest. Whenever he was at her presence he felt delighted by the honor of being at her shadow, and still his heart always craved for the meeting to be over and for him to go back to his tiny room, with the computers and his bed, so old and still so comfortable for him, much more than what he deserved. _She is waiting for an answer._ He had to think and Ray knew that he was not good at that, he was not worthy of that.

“I’m- I’m s-sorry, my Savior” he stuttered, giving her a long and apologetical bow, his forehead touching the floor “I strayed myself and…” the words seemed to fall out of his head when he most needed them. Such trusted words that would decide if his cleansing was truly complete, if his punishment had finally come to an end. But Ray remembered what she would tell others when they were cleansed “My p-pride made me… Made me stray away, but now I’m back to honour the Mint Eye and you, my Savior.”

A shiver went down his spine as he stood back straight, still refraining from looking at her. In his mind, Ray could picture her turning back to face him, her golden hair pushed back as she walked towards his _pathetic_ figure. 

“Oh, Ray” she softly tangled his white hair in between her fingers, caressing his head “My dear Ray” Savior gave him a sharp tug, making pain go down his scalp. _We deserve it._ “Tell me, my child” she returned to caressing his hair “Do you remember your mother from before?”

He froze. The question uncovered a wound that did hurt more than any cleansing, more than any tug in his hair. _Useless bug. No. Not her, not her, don’t bring her._ Savior patiently waited for an answer, always so kind of her to comprehend him and give him time to think.

“Not entirely, my Savior” he answered “I- I consider only you as my mother now”

She smiled, scoffing slightly at the clever answer. He was becoming more slick every time. For that, she tugged his hair once more. Ray shivered, refraining from whimpering for that would be a disrespect to the kindness his Savior was showing him. _Ungrateful._ He appreciated all the punishments he deserved.

“Yes, Ray. I promised that I would be just like a mother to you. And why is that?” she tugged his hair once more, pain would remind him of how different she was. He was proud to know the answer to that.

For Savior loved him. She loved him and her punishments were just a reflection of real love. He was not worthy of being loved entirely, but she gave him so much more than he deserved. So weak and crippled, a useless being like him should know that he was worth nothing, and she kindly reminded him. In her grace, Savior kept him from dangerous ideas and thinking, because those were not for weaklings like him. 

“Because you are so kind, Savior” he dared to answer, but not as daring to raise his head “And you keep me in my place but loves me, differently from-” Had she loved him? That awful woman, that tormented his childhood, that tortured him and Sae- _Traitor_. Had she truly never loved him? 

“Yes, I love you, Ray” she caressed his head, allowing him to rest his forehead in her standing leg “And differently from her, I shall never leave your side. Differently from Saeyoung” _traitor, traitor, traitor, filthy traitor that left us_ “I accept how incompetent you are and won’t abandon you.” she crouched, tugging his hair once more and forcing him to face her “Do you understand me, my child?”

He nodded, as by receiving her permission to look at her face, there were no other words he could say. To be blessed by such a kind Saviour, that showered him with the love he did not deserve. As useless as he was, even if he was nothing more than a _dumb bug, a moron_ , she gave him love. 

“Once more you proved that the traitor is far more skilled than you, didn’t you, Ray?” she stroked his cheek with her hand, watching him stop the tears in his eyes. Savior was silent, watching him fight them, praying to not weep in front of her so that she would not see him being so pathetic “My poor child. That’s fine, I should not expect much from you. You still have the chance to prove yourself, there is still much work to be done. I’m sure that your time of fasting and reflection in the basement was enough for you to think about the mistakes. You are forgiven” 

He lowered his head back down, words stumbling in his mind as he tried to comprehend the size of Savior’s generosity. Ray knew that he was undeserving, that she was much better to him than she should. 

“Thank you, my Savior” he bowed again. 

“Go to your room and get back to work” she said, signaling for him to stand “I have important issues to resolve regarding this little mistake of yours. For paradise”

Ray flinched instinctively by the mention of the little mistake, as it did not seem so little when he was being punished in the basement. _Be grateful for the Savior._

“For paradise”

He had no right to complain. He deserved it all and even worse, but Savior had been merciful. _Mercy that you don’t deserve._

“Ray” she called, when his fingers brushed the doorknob, prompting him to turn around “Who is this girl you chose to help us dealing with the RFA? Why her?”

His mind went blank. He chose her because she was Myung Chae. A friend, a person as kind and generous as the savior. _She’ll be destroyed out there._ But Savior did not know about her. Ray had never told her about the park. Savior did not know that Myung Chae saved him when he lost himself from _traitor_ . Now he had to tell her, and still, as simple as the question was, he did not manage to form phrases that would compose the answer. _Lie._ He could not lie to Savior, all she wanted was the best for them. _Tell the truth after Myung Chae is here._ We cannot lie. _We can lie. Once Myung Chae is here, Savior will see that she needs cleansing too. She is weak like you._ We need to protect her. _We need to protect her._

“I found her profile while researching,” Ray answered. _Ray lied._ “She has no family, no close friends, seemed like the ideal type to serve as a bait to the RFA”

“I see. You are dismissed, then. Tell the believers outside to come in, I must talk to them, and make sure to give me a report by the end of the day. For paradise.”

“For paradise” Ray bowed and left the room.

 _We lied._ For her _safety_ . Not safety, no. _She would be safe at Mint Eye_ , but still, it was a secret. Myung Chae was the secret buried in Ray’s heart and he did not wish to share it with anyone.

. . .

“All right, here’s the plan” 

Saeyoung turned his computer to show it to Myung Chae. She was sitting in the chair across him, enjoying her bowl of rice and eggs.

“See this? As soon as I activate this code line, the Security System will be put on hold. Then, we’ll knock that drawer open and take a look on whatever V is hiding from us. By the time the system is back, I’ll erase traces that the drawer has ever existed and we’ll be safe and sound” 

“Very bright, ginger boy” she laughed “Then we’ll investigate Saeran?”

“You bet we are” he took another scoop on his cereal “Mint Eye, here we come. We’re going to knock them into the ground until they give my brother back”

MC smiled, lifting her phone to see the messages in the new chatroom. Saeyoung grabbed his empty bowl, taking it to the sink. He felt excited, things seemed to be falling into place, every single part of the plan was working, he and Yoosung were on good terms, Myung Chae was with him. For once, everything seemed to work out for the best.

“You know, I’m all for being humble and all, but I’m really awesome” he stared at the code lines “I mean, someone please show me a better hacker than me, please. I bet you can’t”

“Saeyoung” MC called

“No, MC, come on, look at this” he pointed at the computer screen, barely listening to what she said “Who can do such a beautiful work? Just tell me, I bet there is no one like me in this world”

“Saeyoung” MC called again.

He looked up at her and met the pair of worried caramel eyes.

“You said that your father is a politician… Who is he?”

His stomach sank. That was not right. They were having fun, they were laughing, why would she think about that?

“I’ve told you, it’s dangerous for you to know” he said, glancing at her cellphone “Why do you ask?”

“The prime minister contacted Jumin because he wants to buy V’s pictures.” she stared deep into his eyes “Saeyoung, who is your father?”

His mouth went dry and he froze. Just like that, his perfect plan shattered into pieces and vanished from existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ray is here! Also, Rika being her lovely crazy self. I hope that I managed to do a good job while trying to honour her role as the main villain of the game (which is simply brilliant and Cheritz won't ruin this for me).
> 
> I did enjoy so much writing their dialogue and, especially, Ray's internal dialogue/Suit Saeran's voice in his head. For me that is the most enjoyable part while writing Ray/Saeran and I hope that you've found it interesting as well!
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	13. Prime Minister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some warnings: there are slight mentions of child abuse in this chapter

_ “Mr. V” Saeyoung called “What is forgiveness?” _

_ V raised his eyes from the book that he was reading, looking at the ginger boy that sat next to him. It had not been long since they had met, still, everytime Saeyoung went to church, they would sit together and, on the rare occasions the boy managed to stay a bit longer, they made each other company. V did not know many people in church, he had never been good at getting to know people, the silences were what dreaded him the most. Silence with Saeyoung was never scary, besides, the boy was alone whenever he was not talking to Rika. He always watched mass standing, sometimes daring to sit on the last benches, in the back of the church.  _

_ “It means to forgive someone” V answered, smiling at him “And you know you can just call me V. That’s fine” _

_ “Sorry” the boy giggled, looking back at the book “I just didn’t want to be disrespectful” _

_ V giggled too. That afternoon Saeyoung and he had sat on one of the benches in the garden. Rika was busy, Saeyoung never talked to her unless she was alone and V wanted to read in peace. When their interests collided, the two boys sat in the garden, in silence. Sometimes, V hummed a song, stopping soon after and continuing to read.  _

_ “You are never disrespectful” V looked down at the boy’s book “What are you reading?” _

_ “Just a fantasy book noona lended me” Saeyoung answered, without raising his eyes “I’ll read it to Saeran, so I want to learn the words right to read well for him. It has all those fancy words like forgiveness and…” he stopped to think for a bit “Well, fancy words” _

_ V laughed. “Well, you can ask me if you need help. I’m at your service, today”  _

_ V had barely turned his eyes back to his book when Saeyoung called him again. _

_ “Mr. V, what’s exploitation?” _

_ “What are you reading?” V pulled the book out of his hand, taking a long look at the cover before looking back at the boy “Rika did not lend you this” _

_ “She said I could take whatever book I chose on the donations that arrived to the church” Saeyoung explained, quickly mumbling the words “I-I’m s-sorry. I d-didn’t want to…” _

_ “Shhh. It’s fine” V said, seeing how scared the boy got “I know you didn’t do anything on purpose, it’s all right” he messed Saeyoung hair “This is just not for your age. I’ll lend you Game of Kings when you get older, all right?” _

_ V lowered his eyes back to his own book, placing the one he had just confiscated by his side. Because of that, he was unable to see the amazement in the boy’s eyes when he looked at him and the shy smile that covered the boy’s lips when his hair was stroked.  _

_ Rika had told V about the child already. His abusive mother, how he was responsible for protecting his bed-ridden twin, the precarious conditions in which the boys lived, the figure of their father. Still, the boy never told him anything. He never had to. V had already taken care of him whenever he was hurt and bruised, that seemed to be enough. There would be no point in bothering the child demanding explanations about those traumatic experiences.  _

_ After a few more seconds in silence, Saeyoung turned to V, crossing his legs over the bench. _

_ “What are you reading?” he asked. _

_ V raised his eyes, looking at the boy. _

_ “Nicomachean Ethics, from Aristotle. It’s philosophy” V explained. _

_ “Those are many fancy words just in the title” Saeyoung laughed “Are you liking it?” _

_ “Yes, Aristotle takes a very interesting approach to controversial topics such as politics and…” he stopped, looking back at the puzzled child sitting next to him “Sorry, too many fancy words, right?” _

_ The boy giggled again, nodding. V had to watch out the way he talked to Saeyoung, for he tended to use a complex vocabulary and that was not helpful to the twelve year old boy that had just been alphabetized. He tried to keep it as simple as he could. Saeyoung was a brilliant child, he knew that if they teached him using means accessible to him, including a language that he could understand, the boy could reach the sky. _

_ “It’s about politics and… ethics. Do you know what ethics means?” Saeyoung shook his head “Well, that’s a bit tricky to explain, but, trying to say it in a simple way, it’s the principles that direct someone’s choices and how this person leads their life. Do you understand?” _

_ “So… For example, I think that hitting people is bad, that is my ethics?” _

_ “Well… Yes, sort of” V smiled “When you get older I’ll give you some philosophy books if you want to read more about it, all right?” _

_ “Why is everything just when I grow older?” Saeyoung complained, pouting “Being a kid is no fun” _

_ V laughed seeing the boy’s indignation. Once more he messed the child’s hair, making the boy smile shyly, stuffing his small hands in his pockets and hunching a bit. _

_ “I saw that you came in late today. Mass had already started, I was parking my car outside when I saw you going inside.” _

_ “You were late too?” Saeyoung asked. _

_ “Yes” V answered “I… I was sorting some things with my father, it’s complicated. I’m leaving his home and we had to discuss some aspects of it” _

_ “You always say more fancy words when you are worried” Saeyoung pointed out, tilting his head to the side “Are you alright?” _

_ V looked at the child. He was a truly sweet boy, always worrying so much about others, sometimes even too much. _

_ “I am” the mint haired man answered, smiling “I actually wanted to know about you” he said “Is everything all right? I got worried” _

_ The boy was silent, averting his gaze from V and looking towards a flower bed just a few feet away. He brushed the tip of his old shoes on the floor, trying to find a way to answer V’s question, but just his demeanor was enough of an answer to the young man. V began to think of a way to convince the boy to tell him where his mother had beaten him that time. _

_ “I have some problems with my dad,” Saeyoung said, without looking up at V. The man stopped, comprehending that the problem this time was much more complicated than those that he could solve with comforting smiles and the first aid kit “He… He is a bad man and he hates me and Saeran, so he wants to hurt us… I…” _

_ “Rika told me about him,” V said, seeing how hard it was for the boy to talk about the matter “Did you run into him? Did he do something to you?” _

_ The boy kept looking at him, as if such concern was something foreign to him. _

_ “Not into him” Saeyoung answered “It was his men. They are after us, but it was nothing too bad. I just had to run a bit to lose them.” the child smiled at him before standing up “I need to leave, Saeran is waiting and mom will wake up soon.” he looked at V “I promised Saeran that I would read for him today, can… Can you take me to the church library before I leave, hyung?” _

_ V smiled fondly at him, getting up. “Sure, come on.” he took a deep breath “Saeyoung, we’re here to help you, all right? Even with your father’s issues. You can always rely on us, ok?” _

_ The boy nodded, once again averting his gaze. They did not take many steps before V felt Saeyoung’s small hand wrapping around his own, his shy and weak grip felt uncertain, as if he had never done so before. V held the boy’s hand firmly and they continued to walk together. He would take care of the boy, that was for sure. _

. . .

Kim Jihyun checked his phone again, reading over and over the same chat, unable to believe in the words on the screen. The prime minister of all people had picked a special interest in him. V pondered, sitting in the chair of Jumin’s office. What could he do? What could he say? That was the worst moment for the prime minister to show up, especially after all the years hiding Saeyoung from him, shielding the boy from his father in all the ways he could.

Luciel. The boy had always been a fierce, but scared, child. Since the first time they met V had faced the troubles of a boy that desperately longed to hide himself and his brother, to live a life free from the terrible fate life had bestowed upon them. He never knew anyone like him. Now, V had already ruined everything. The chat, the way that Luciel seemed so hurt, he should be. V had lied to him, broken his trust, hidden from him who the boy treasured the most. But he could not tell him the truth about his beloved brother, not yet. Luciel remembered Saeran as the loving and caring boy he was, this should remain untouched. The meeting with the prime minister was not in his plans, he should be far away by then, solving other issues. Why would that man look for them after so many years?

“Mr. V?” Jaehee called, walking in followed by an intern that brought a cup of coffee for him, which he accepted with a bow “It’s good to see you”

“Good to see you too, Jaehee” he smiled “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine, sir” she bowed “What about you? I must say that everyone in the RFA is deeply worried about you and I know that we speak for all of us when I say that we are all available for anything you might need” she took a deep breath, hesitant “Specially now that you and Seven seem to have had a misunderstanding”

It did hurt. Everyone saw. As a leader, it was unacceptable for him to have disappointed his members and left them in the dark for so long, but still, there was no other choice. That was the fruit of his own mistakes, his own failure, his own incompetence. Those two boys that had trusted him, he had failed both of them and now it was his duty to fix it, without putting anyone else in danger. He should be the one to face the consequences of his acts.

“Thank you, Jaehee” V bowed “I truly appreciate it, that is very kind. Thank you. I shall keep that deep inside my heart”

“Well, I’m glad to be able to offer some support” she smiled “Mr. Han asked me to say that he will be here shortly, he is just finishing to discuss some business matters with Mr. Chairman”

“There is no rush, Jaehee. Don’t worry about me, I’m very comfortable here. knowing my friend, I imagine that you must be extremely busy.”

“In fact, I am” she giggled “Excuse me, then”

They bowed before she left the room. As she did so, V picked up the phone that had been ringing in his pocket for the last minutes. The caller showed Luciel’s photo. He took a deep breath, pressing the phone against his forehead and turning his back to the glass wall, walking towards the big window in Jumin’s office.

“Hello, Luciel. It’s me” he answered. 

“Why is he here? Why is that man interested in your pictures?” 

Luciel sounded desperate, in the background V could hear MC’s faint voice, but was unable to distinguish what the girl said to him.

“Calm down, please” V said “I don’t know, Luciel. I can only assume that it is related to his candidacy to the presidency election. I am in Jumin’s office right now, I shall talk to him in a few minutes and then I will comprehend. It does not mean that it’s related to you”

“V, please” Luciel pleaded “I’m not a child anymore to fall for those cheap lies. You’ve already lied to me about my brother, something that you are still doing. Look at where I’m standing. How can I trust in you to talk to my father?”

Once more, it hurt. He was truly not worthy of Luciel’s trust, but he needed it, the boy needed to lean on someone and at that moment V was the only one who knew about everything. V could perfectly picture the boy’s situation and it was terrible. He had messed everything up.

“You have no reason to trust me right now” V turned around, looking through the glass wall and seeing Jumin walk outside the elevator “I know you don’t. But I’m begging you, Luciel. I plead you. Just now, just with this. You and Saeran are extremely precious to me and you know-”

“I did, but not anymore”

“Jumin is coming. I will explain everything to you, I swear. This man is not going to lay one finger in you or your brother, I promise. Now, I must go. Stay safe, my child”

V hanged up before the boy could answer. He had no more time as Jumin was already opening the door.

“Am I interrupting? I may wait outside for you to finish your call” Jumin said, stopping at his door.

Jumin Han had always been a curious person for V. Many people deemed him weird, heartless, robotic; V deemed him as his eternal best friend. Through the good and bad times, Jumin had always been a present figure in his life, even more than his own father. He wished to be as good a friend as Jumin was, but he never seemed to have the chance to do so.

“No, I have just hung up” V smiled “Good to see you, Jumin. On point as ever”

“Your hair is longer now” Jumin pointed out “I think it looks better like this” he smiled “It is good to see you, Jihyun. It has been six months since our last reunion, that is a very long amount of time.”

“I apologize” V looked down

“Please, don’t” Jumin said “We were all facing a most terrible moment, you more than any of us” he sighed, regaining his composure in the following instant “Let’s not talk about such terrible incidents, for now you have a golden opportunity, Jihyun, and I am honored to be the mediator in this business meeting. If you need some time to think or wish to discuss something, I am at your service”

“Thank you, Jumin. You are a good friend, as always”

Jumin smirked. V believed that his friend should smile more, as his sincere smile was truly adorable. Jumin had always been serious, since he was young he had learned to control his feelings and in adulthood V saw what a terrible education both of them had received. He had had the luck of having his mother to show him the right path, save him, but Jumin did not have such a privilege. He had seen Jumin’s biological mother just a few times, as she was the only visitor his mother ever received. They had been friends for a long time, he remembered his mother telling him. Maybe he and Jumin were destined to be friends for a long time too. They were family for each other, especially in the times when their biological families failed them.

He followed Jumin Han through the maze of C&R’s corridors, listening to his friend’s explanations about new business projects he was working into. He enjoyed listening to Jumin talk. Even if he had abandoned the promising business career that his father had planned for him, V was still interested in business as a concept, much more in the studies of social aspects than the economical. Soon, they reached the door of the meeting room. Taking a deep breath, Jumin smirked and opened the doors.

. . .

_ V held the boy by his torso, sustaining the child’s arms in his and allowing him to lean against him. Saeran stumbled to walk, his legs too weak to sustain his own weight, still, V had insisted on the idea of leading him on a walk through the garden. Rika had disagreed, saying that Saeran was not prepared to walk and that they should not force him to, but V stood to his point that the boy needed to learn to walk by himself. From time to time they would stop, Saeran panting but shortly after already showing excitement to keep moving. _

_ “You are doing great,” V said, carefully holding the boy. “You’ll see, with some good food and us training a bit everyday, you’ll soon be walking all over this garden on your own.” _

_ He heard the boy giggle softly. Saeran had barely talked to them since they met him one week before. It had not been long since they first took him out of the broken home, but it was already clear how different the younger boy was from his brother. They had only known the small details Luciel had told them: that his brother loved ice cream and flowers, that he had problems to breathe - something they discovered later that was the boys frequent panic attacks -, that he was a selective mute, a barrier they still tried to overcome. Saeran was extremely introverted, he did not smile as much, always quiet, observing everything around him with the same curiosity of a baby that is beginning to see the world. _

_ “Let’s stop for a bit?” V asked, seeing how the boy was panting hard “Why don’t we sit near that flower bed and wait for Rika over there. Do you think we can go there?” _

_ Saeran nodded, taking another faltering step. V accompanied him, making sure to hold the child firmly when his leg gave and he almost fell. _

_ “It’s okay, I’m holding you. We are really close”  _

_ They had discussed the idea of taking the boy to the doctor, but it had been quickly discarded. Even if they managed to convince the doctor of not making any registration of the appointment, it would be harder to explain why he shouldn’t call the police once he saw the marks of abuse. So, they treated the child with what they had, researching on their own to find exactly what the boy needed. By the time they met him, he had a fever, was terribly malnourished and hurt. One week later they were still treating him, but by then the boy seemed a bit more lively than before, even if he kept a mainly non-verbal state. _

_ V helped the boy to sit on the grass, near a bed of white flowers. He sat right next to him. _

_ “I’ll check your temperature, ok?” V said. _

_ They had grown used to always telling him what they were doing, to not startle him. Saeran nodded, watching closely as V took the thermometer and measured his temperature. _

_ “You don’t have a fever” V smiled “That’s really good, Saeran” he stroked the boy’s hair, making him smile.  _

_ Even if wary of touch like his brother, Saeran was much more receptive towards demonstrations of affection, and much more direct when asking for them. It was undeniable that the boy had been neglected for too long.  _

_ “What… What are they?” the boy murmured as he pointed to the flowers, his weakened voice not more than a whisper. _

_ “Those are…” V took a good look at the small flowers “I believe they are called Lilly of the Valley” _

_ “Lily of the Valley?” The boy repeated, slowly tasting each word. _

_ “Yes. I’m not a plant expert, I know that there are some meanings to each flower, but I don’t know any of them.” _

_ They fell back into silence. There were many silences when hanging out with Saeran, but V did not mind. He enjoyed silence. The man looked at his clock, they still had hours before they had to take the child back to his mother’s home, which made his heart settle. They still had time to spare. _

_ “Where is Rika?” Saeran asked again. _

_ He seemed more talkative than in the other days. That made V smile. _

_ “She is at the mass. As soon as it ends, she’ll come here to stay with us” _

_ The boy looked to the flowers, cautiously reaching out for them and stroking their small petals. He turned their leaves in order to see them better, carefully observing every detail. V took his cellphone out of the pocket and saw a missed call from his father. He would have to wait.  _

_ “Are you the person that gave Saeyoung the photos?” the boy asked _

_ V nodded. It had been months since he had handed the envelope with the pair of photos to Luciel, one for each of the twins. For Luciel, he had given one picture of the space, for Saeran, a picture of a flower. _

_ “That’s the flower of the picture” Saeran said “I like it. Thank you” he smiled at V. “Seyoung told me to keep it hidden from mom, so I hid it under the floorboards, in the gap under them. I really loved it” _

_ “I’m glad you liked it,” V answered. _

_ “You are a photo taker, right? Saeyoung told me that you have a magical box that takes pictures”  _

_ V laughed at the boys’ tender concept of a camera. “Yes, I’m a photographer. We call it a camera. Do you want to see it?” _

_ Saeran nodded slightly, his golden eyes shining in excitement V had never seen before. However, when V began to stand up to go take the camera in his bag, Saeran grabbed his hand, his breathing accelerated and excitement vanished from his eyes, giving place to fear. _

_ “It’s all right” V said “I’ll just go grab it in my bag, it’s right over there on the bench. I’m not going to leave, I promise” _

_ The boy kept looking from him to the bag, small droplets of tears on his eyes. Saeran hated being left alone. In fact, during the whole week either V or Rika were always by his side as the mere thought of them leaving was enough to make him shiver.  _

_ “You’ll see me the whole time, look at me” V gently touched the boy’s cheek, leading Saeran to face him “I’m here and I’m not going away. You won’t be alone. I’ll just go to the bench, you’ll see me the whole time.” slowly, the boy let go off his arm, but the scared golden eyes peeking underneath the ginger bangs kept on following V until the man sat back on the grass “See? It did not take long. Now, you have to be careful with it, ok? Here” _

_ He took the camera and handed it to Saeran, observing the boy nest it in his lap, turning it around in his hands. With great care, he looked attentively to every single detail and part of the camera. _

_ “This is the lens, light comes through it, bringing the image with it so that we can take the photo” V explained, motioning his finger towards the lens. “This piece here is where I adjust the focus, so that the image is not blurry.” he pointed “See this small button over here? That is the shutter, we press it to take the picture. Do you want to take one?” _

_ The child hesitated, looking at V in wonderment. Seeing his smile, V laughed softly, picking up the camera and adjusting it in the boy’s hands. He guided Saeran’s hand, instructing him where to look, sustaining the camera as the boy could barely do so without shivering. Right after the clicking sound, they heard a familiar voice coming their way. _

_ “Service is over for today” Rika said as she walked through the stone path “Are you two having fun?” she kneeled near them. _

_ “We are, Saeran is taking beautiful pictures” V smiled, giving her a kiss “How was mass? Was it good?” _

_ “It always is” she smiled “What did you take photos of, Saeran?” she softly tangled his ginger hair in between her fingers. _

_ The boy looked at her, accepting her care and smiling. “Lily of the Valley” he answered, pointing to the flower. _

_ “Oh, the flower. That’s right, you love them, don’t you?” the child nodded at her “I think that I saw a book in the library about the flower language, let me check with the priest. I’ll be right back”  _

_ As she left, Saeran laid his head down on V’s lap. That had not been the first time the boy had done so, always craving for some affection from them. And V was always ready to give it to him. For two months the boy had already been deprived of his brother, locked in a terrible home with their awful mother. V had tried to explain what he could about Luciel, how he was safe and protecting Saeran from far away, always telling him how much his brother loved him, but he knew that it was still an open wound in the younger twin’s heart. Slowly, he stroked the boy’s hair, talking to him about the photo and how he was going to develop it and bring it for him the next day. Saeran was a child that had endured too much already, V had always known that, so he would make sure to make the boy happy whenever he could. _

_. . . _

“It is beyond my greatest pleasure that we could find time to meet, sir.” Jumin said as V and he bowed to the man that stood in the middle of the meeting room “Allow me to introduce my friend, Jihyun Kim, that also answers by the pseudonym V”

“Greetings, sir” V said. 

He was aware of the brevity of his words that sound, at his years, sharp and uninviting. The photographer tried to think of anything else to say, but deep down all he wished for was for the meeting to be over. When he looked at the middle aged man standing in the meeting room, it was clear how much the twins resembled him, except for the hair and for the drops of cruelty in his golden eyes. In his mind, V remembered every time the boys cried hugging him; all the days in which he had to leave Saeran back at his mother’s home, listening to the boy’s pleads for him to take him away; the sleepless nights thinking about the two boys that they had vowed to protect and how easier it would have been if their father was not hunting them.

“I apologize for making such a sudden request” the prime minister Saejoong Choi giggled, his powerful voice seemed to fill the room “Please, send my sincerest regards to Mr. Chairman. It was very gracious of him to grant my sudden request”

“Of course, sir, but there is no need for an apology. This is an honour and pleasure for all of us” Jumin answered.

V watched how the politician behaved, walking tall, expansive. His corporal language showed who was truly leading the meeting. Even if the prime minister was a bit shorter than the two younger men, the older man talked with confidence, carefully choosing each of his words, and this, V thought, was why he was leading the presidential campaign.

“It fills me with joy to see two young men like you, full of potential, representing the future of our country… It may sound cliche, but young people like you are what motivates me to work even harder” he laughed cordially, adjusting his already neat tie. 

Young people like the two sons you tried to kill, V thought, and immediately reprimanded himself. He was taking it all too personally and that would not be fruitful to anyone. It was his duty to protect the boys and for that he would have to be polite, laugh at the right times, be interested and, when time came, decline the offer. He had been well trained on business to know how things worked and to protect someone from a powerful politician was not much different than business itself. 

“Mr. Kim, it’s an honour to meet you.” the prime minister continued “I am ashamed to admit, but I requested to meet because of personal motives. A much interesting experience happened to me a few weeks ago. I was accompanying my wife to an art exhibition when I stumbled upon a marvellous collection of pictures of the Sun. It was none other than your work, Mr. Kim”

Jumin smiled and V tried to follow. His friend had always been better to pretend than he was. His father had always told him that the honesty in his eyes would be his downfall as a businessman, but he had never imagined that it would be his downfall as the twins guardian too. 

“V’s work is very prestigious and that collection, particularly, stands out among the critics and public view” Jumin pointed out, sending V concerned looks by noticing how quiet his friend was.

“Are you saying that you are interested in those photos, sir?” V asked. It was not the ideal words, in fact, much less welcoming than he wished to be.

“Yes, I would like to purchase every photo from that collection, if possible” the prime minister answered, his smile growing larger “You see… I’ve been through various tests and challenges throughout my life as a politician, but upon gazing at the collection, I realized that all the hardship I’ve gone through is nothing but a human triviality under the sun”

“Prime Minister, sir…” V called, taking a deep breath. Pretend. It was just about pretending, that was business “I am gravely sorry, but, for now, my works are not on sale. I apologize”

Silence fell over the room. The prime minister’s tender smile disappeared, clearing the way for surprise to settle on his face. Jumin looked at V, shocked as well, but his enquiring eyes sought an answer even deeper in his friend’s heart. Jihyun knew what Jumin was thinking, and partially it was because of her. Those pictures represented much more about him and Rika than the prime minister could comprehend. But that was not everything, it was much deeper than that, way too deep for him to take his friend there.

“Oh, is that true?” the prime minister said, disappointment clear in his voice “May I ask you why?”

“I’m afraid I cannot tell you why” V’s answer was sharp, cutting the conversation at its root. Too aggressive for the peaceful tone that always dominated his voice.

“I’m sure it’s a personal reason, sir” Jumin intervened, glancing at his friend once more. Of course, Jumin knew that something was wrong “Jihyun understands that this is a bright opportunity and is honoured for such wonderful compliments”

“I understand…” the prime minister shook his head, opening a half of a smile, regaining the same composure from before “However, I hope you will reconsider. There was something I wanted to do with your works… It was my mistake of inviting you two in such a rush.” realizing his tone, he added “Of course, I’m not saying that I’m unhappy that you declined my offer”

A million thoughts rushed through Jihyun’s head. The man had done his research on him, what else could he know? The RFA? Rika? For sure the man knew a little about his career, but there were pictures of all of them together. If the prime minister did a good job, which V knew that was characteristic of that man, for sure he would have found more information. That entire meeting felt like a reunion, an attempt of peace before the war. He could not have business connections with him, otherwise, that would mean inviting him for more.

“Now, Mr. Kim… Can you at least tell me what your plans are regarding the future?” the prime minister asked. 

That was a tricky question. One wrong answer could signal too much information.

“Nothing has been scheduled or finalized so far”

More silence followed. That was the silence V did not enjoy. It was the calm before the storm. It was dangerous, subtle, lurching in plain sight. He had been too closed up to that moment, falling right into an even more complicated trap. Jumin could never know the truth and V knew the way his friend looked at him.

“If you’d like to hear about it, please, contact my personal workplace” V added, giving the prime minister his business card.

“Oh, if I can, that would be an honour! Wait for my call, then” the prime minister smiled “I will contact you in the future. I would like to thank both of you once more for sparing your precious time for me.”

“Not at all. I wish you the best luck in your future, sir.” Jumin said.

The meeting was over. Jumin accompanied the prime minister to the car and V sat on one of the chairs in the meeting room, staying back under the excuse of returning a phone call. He had nothing to return, only his father’s call and he could not do such a thing at that moment. It was expected that after years his father would try to contact him upon knowing about the prime minister. It was all business anyways.

Jumin walked back in without making a sound, slowly heading towards his friend. 

“Jihyun… I do not comprehend what would make you take such a terrible decision regarding your artistic career” Jumin said, pulling up one chair “But, I comprehend that you are facing a hard time, and for that, you have my support in any decision you make. I know your pictures have never been about the business of it and that is what makes them so famous.” Jumin smiled at him “You are not alone, Jihyun… I hope you keep that in mind. We are all worried about you, even if I don’t say it that often. Just remember that you have friends to help you with whatever you need”

V nodded, smiling back at him. “Thank you, Jumin. I’ll keep that in mind”

. . .

_ “Are you sure you don’t need anything else?” V asked, handing Saeyoung the loaf of bread. _

_ The boy had told him about the last days in his home, how everything got harder when their mother began to run out of money. It was not much, but V hoped that he could provide better things for them in the following weeks. _

_ “No, it’s fine” Saeyoung said, looking down to the bread “Thank you very much, V.” After a short silence, the boy continued “Actually… I-if you have some old jacket at home… We… I mean…” _

_ “Saeyoung, are you cold?” _

_ That was the third time he asked the boy that same question, looking at his long sleeved shirt, too thin to the cold weather. In the other two times, V had received an immediate no as an answer, but at that moment the boy winced, averting his gaze. _

_ “Saeran is sick again and… In one of the bad nights, mom… She ended up ripping his hoodie because she was mad at us” he looked down, his voice choking “I-I’m f-fine. I lended him mine because…”  _

_ Before the boy could finish, V took off his coat, throwing it over the boy’s shoulders. Surprised, Saeyoung looked at him, motioning to take the coat off. _

_ “I can’t take it” he said “It’s yours and… And it’s fancy” _

_ V laughed, finding endearing the choice of words. “It’s fine. Really. You can give it back to me when we meet again” _

_ “But… But what if mom ruins it just like she did with our hoodie?” the boy asked. _

_ V smiled, messing up the boy’s hair. _

_ “There is nothing to worry about. I’ll get you a coat, okay? I promise” _

_ A week passed before he could see the child again. Through all that time he had kept the surprise hidden in his car, always waiting to finally see the boy’s bright red hair. It finally happened one day after mass, in the garden. V had seen Saeyoung sneak there and rushed to grab the bag in his car. Taking one last look at the content, V moved towards the boy, who was praying near one of the flower beds. Respectful, the older man waited for him to finish his silent prayer until he called the boy’s name. _

_ “Hi” he smiled “I brought something for you” _

_ The boy looked sad; scared; staring at V in a way that he hadn’t for a long time. _

_ “Hi, V” Saeyoung said “I…” he looked at the closed bag, curiosity taking the best from him “What is it?” _

_ “Open it” V handed him the bag “I wanted to wrap it, but Rika made a point that we did not know if you would be able to hide the paper from your mother and we didn’t want to create any disturbance for you.” _

_ Smiling, he watched Saeyoung look inside at the two new hoodies V had bought them. Saeyoung was completely unable to react, frozen in the moment when V, without knowing, gave the boys the first new clothes of their lives. Carefully, Saeyoung pulled the bright red hoodie off the bag, stroking the never used fabric with his thin hands. There was no rip, no stitches, nothing. It was his. The bright yellow one that was still in the bag, would be, for sure, his brother’s choice. Slowly, tears came to the boy’s eyes and he dropped on the floor, his heart filled with the conflicting emotions of gratefulness and shame for what his mother had done to the jacket V, so kindly, lended him. He had not even told it to the older man yet. _

_ “I’m sorry” the boy cried, bowing apologetically “I don’t deserve this. I’m sorry. I’m sorry” _

_ V stopped. He couldn’t comprehend the boy’s reaction. Something was not right.  _

_ “Saeyoung, no” V kneeled near him, softly brushing his shoulders “What are you saying? What happened?” _

_ “She took it. She took your coat because I forgot to hide it.” the boy continued to cry, refusing to lift his head from the ground “She didn’t care until she saw that it was a fancy coat and took it to sell, I’m sorry. I told her I found it in a donation box” Saeyoung sobbed “I don’t deserve the hoodie, I don’t deserve any kindness you could give us. I’m sorry” _

_ Before the boy could say anything else, V held him and pulled him into a hug, nesting him in his lap. Saeyoung shivered, his whole body anticipating a beating, but V’s hug was warm, his protective hand rested over Saeyoung’s hair, leading the boy to lean his face over the older man’s chest, telling him everything words could not transmit. V rocked the boy slowly, repeating endlessly how everything was fine, how Saeyoung was a good child and had nothing to apologize for. This made Saeyoung cry harder, holding tight the bag that contained the two hoodies. The first new clothes he and his brother had gotten in their lives.  _

_ They did not know how long they stood together, but V had no intention of letting the boy go so soon. He knew about the boy’s reality as well as he knew that something bad happened to him when their mother found the coat, but he would not ask, it would not be right to ask. Saeyoung held the photographer’s shirt tight, snuggling even more against him. A sweet child that V wished to see smiling more than anything in the world. _

_ “I wish you were my dad” Saeyoung whispered, too low but loud enough for V to hear it.  _

_ That was the only time the boy’s secret wish was ever said, still, it was enough to carve itself into V’s heart forever. He stroked the boy’s hair, giving him a kiss on the head. _

_ “So that’s what I’ll be” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writting I was just SO excited to reach this part, so I hope that you liked it as much as I enjoyed writting. 
> 
> We'll get to focus a bit more on Mr. Jihyun Kim from now on and his lovely - and tragic - relationship with the twins
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Also, I absolutely love to hear your feedback, so feel free to send it!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	14. Parenthood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: This chapter contains heavy language and slurs, specially those regarding people with disabilities (because some characters are huge jerks, like the twins' mother and V's dad). Also, as always when we are dealing with the twins, there is a fair amount of referenced child abuse

Since he was twelve years old, V had been part of his life. His friend, his guardian, his father. Just like an older brother, V had cared for him in many different ways. Saeyoung respected and, above all, trusted him with his life. For years, V had been part of his small family, going back to those days when he dreamed of freeing his brother and both of them being adopted by V and Rika, hyung and noona, the people that would care for them like no one else ever did. Even after he had to leave, V would spend time with him whenever he could, make visits, ask about any wounds he had gotten in missions, always so attentive and caring. This made Saeyounf feel loved, such a foreign feeling for him. V and Rika were the parents he never had, the family that he could barely embrace with his thin childish arms and that, by then, seemed to be slipping through his fingers as much as he tried to grasp them back. 

Sitting on the couch, staring at his phone, V’s words echoed in Saeyoung’s ears. _Stay safe, my child._ His child. No one had ever called him that except for the couple. No one except for V. Throughout his early childhood, parents were a threat, an angry look, the bruises in his brother’s body, slurs yelled in the dark. They were cold, hunger, fear, shadows lurching closer to his neck, tears streaming down his cheeks, the smell of alcohol in the air. The happy families he saw on the streets were all distant from his reality, where there was no room for kisses or bedtime stories. The boy never trusted adults, as for him all of them were parents at some point. There was no difference in that. But Rika and V were not adults. They were young, but older than him. 

_He met Rika when he was eleven years old. It had been a regular day, running errands for his mother, trying to get some gigs to earn money to buy some sort of treat for his brother. He was passing by the church, not even aware of what the tall building was, when he heard singing. He stopped on his tracks, turning towards the stone walls, listening to that beautiful sound. Music was never present in their home. Their mother did not enjoy it and she was the one that controlled the tv. Besides, Saeyoung tried to meddle with the radio, but Saeran did not enjoy any of the music they heard before their mother arrived and punished them for meddling in her stuff. But those songs being sung inside the church seemed to be something Saeran would enjoy. Wary of his surroundings, the boy walked past the gate, up the stairs, standing by the door. In front of him there was a grand hall, filled with rows of benches. The windows depicted what looked like scenes from someone’s life. The boy leaned against the door, watching as some sort of celebration was performed. He liked the songs._

_In the end, people began walking out. This made him hide behind one pillar, watching attentively as people passed by. They dressed nicely, with clothes much neater than his._

_“You are new around here, aren’t you?”_

_The sudden sound of the voice made him jump, turning around to face a young woman standing behind him. She had long and wavy blond hair, her eyes were green like the grass in the garden._

_“What is here?” Saeyoung asked. He was aware that he should never talk to anyone, but curiosity had gotten the best of him._

_“Here is a place where people come to connect with God” the girl’s voice was sweet and tender._

_“What about the songs? People sing a lot here?” he asked._

_“The songs?” she echoed “Yes, we do sing many songs. Do you like them?”_

_“I want to sing for my brother…” Saeyoung answered “Can I learn them so that I can sing to him?”_

She did not mind his ragged clothes, always smiling at him and listening attentively to his questions. Even if scared and risking himself, Rika’s kind smile was enough to make him return to church. With time, they grew closer and questions became impossible to be averted. He knew that the truth was dangerous, but explanations had to be made. Despite his complicated family and story, Rika took care of him, becoming his good friend. As time passed, he grew attached to her, seeing in her the livelihood and happiness he could never find in his home. She became someone who would care for him, listen to his issues and help him solve the frequent problems regarding his life under the same roof as his abusive mother; still, there was always a distance between them. He was always in the position of student, of someone who depended on her and wished to win her attention, to impress her. Saeyoung had never been able to pinpoint what filled the gap between them, but it was always there, in the silent moments in the study room.

Until the day he met V. He had been looking for Rika when it happened, V offered him help. He was just twelve years old and still so scared of the world. Upon discovering that V was Rika’s boyfriend, trusting him became a duty, then it got easier, and by the end it was natural to do so. V was his friend, no silences could break the bond formed between them. The older man took care of him without demanding explanations, without telling him what to do, most times not even speaking as he did so. His kind silence stood in the air as a sign of respect for Saeyoung’s privacy and a comforting promise that the child was not alone. In the beginning, V was the one who kept an eye on him, always asking if he was fine, looking after the twelve year old that always had bruises to be taken care of. With time, Saeyoung began seeking V for comfort by himself. 

_The first time V ever called Saeyoung his child was when the boy was thirteen years old. The night before had been rough in the Choi household. Saeyoung had known for one year that he needed glasses, even Saeran had noticed that there was something wrong with his brother’s vision, still, the older twin never seemed to find the right moment to tell their mother. He wished glasses more than anything, but his brother’s medicines would always come first. Their mother would never provide them with both, as a result, Saeyoung could barely see things right in front of him._

_Sitting in the church’s garden, hoping to see V, the child remembered the night before. It had already been a terrible night for the boys, with their mother getting angry at Saeran as usual, but things had managed to get worse. It started when Saeyoung was taking care of his brother's bruises and she ordered him to take one beer for her in the fridge._

_“Stop pampering the moron for one second and do what I tell you to”_

_Saeyoung hated that she called his brother those words. Whenever she did, all he wished to do was tell her to shut up, but he couldn't since he knew that if he did so, mother would give them a bad time for weeks. So he obeyed, giving his brother a kiss on the head before going to take what she wanted. He hoped to get some dinner for them if she saw how helpful he was being. But he could not see without glasses and glass shards were not uncommon on their floor, making him walk slowly. Saeyoung could never understand how she could make the three of them live in such a hazardous place; their house was always dirty, falling apart, her stinky bottles rolling on the ground, just waiting for one of the boys to kick them by accident or step on them. He had been too slow to reach the kitchen already and that had been his first warning._

_“Did you forget how to walk? Do you want me to go there and teach you again?”_

_Mother treated them as well as people treated filth they found deep in their closets. The boy hated how her voice resonated in his head, especially after nights like that. Too slow. He had been too slow. What an idiot. All because his eyes could not work properly, all because he could not find the stupid beer she wanted in the middle of the many bottles and cans in the fridge._

_“What is the matter with you that you are taking so long?”_

_His arm was still hurting where she held him, her long fingers left five bruised maks in his skin. Saeran had tried to help. His little brother, so kind. For months Saeran was urging him to tell her about the glasses, his naive mind believed that their mother would never see any problem in that. When the younger boy yelled the truth to her, desperately trying to avoid the beating his brother was about to receive, she got furious._

_“I am not going to have two crippled children in this house”_

_Crippled. Another word she liked to use to describe his brother. Saeyoung was an idiot, Saeran was crippled. The boy hid his face in his hands. That horrible woman. Things escalated quickly after that. She yelled, they cried. Just the second part of what she had done before. Saeran had apologized to him, but it was not his fault. It was her, the pathetic excuse for a mother the two of them had. The woman who thought that she had the right to call him and his brother those ugly names, embedding those ideas in their minds._

_“Saeyoung?” The familiar voice called “I’m happy to see you! It’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other”_

_Seeing V walking towards him made him smile. Hyung was always so kind to him, even if he was a crooked child that did not deserve anything. Saeyoung stood up, waiting for him. It did not take long for V to see the marks on the boy's face, but, as always, he pretended not to._

_“Hey” V accepted the hug the boy gave him, resting his hand over the child’s head. The man knew that Saeyoung was only affectionate like that after bad episodes in his home, but, as always, he pretended not to, instead, he stroked the boy's hair, his voice as affectionate as it always was “We missed you, did you know that? We looked for you every single day”_

_V looked at the boy's face, stroking his cheek near a small cut._

_“Do you want me to take the first aid?”_

_Sayeoung shook his head. He didn't. All he wished for was to be listened for once. Just once._

_“Do you want to talk about it?” V sat on the bench, patting the spot next to him_

_“It was my mom,” the boy said, dropping himself on the bench. He did not truly know why he opened up like that, telling V what, most times, he kept to himself. Truth was that Saeyoung was tired. He was tired of his mother and his life. He was tired of never being loved, of her slurs, of her beatings, of everything related to that monster he had to call mother “She got angry at me because I took too long to bring her beer to her. I… This is not right. What she does to us, it’s…” he could not come up with any word to describe her “I was taking care of Saeran. I was caring for my brother, bandaging the bruises she made on him. It is already horrible that she made me stop to take one of those filthy bottles, but… How fucked up is it for her to punish us because I need glasses?”_

_Saeyoung had said a bad word in church. He knew that, but it did not matter. The boy was hurt, angry, scared of what the future kept on hold for him and his younger twin._

_“She is always calling us those horrible names and she is worse with Saeran. She calls him retarded and… crippled, but he isn’t those things. He isn’t those ugly words.” tears fell from his eyes, carrying the mixture of anger and sadness that overflowed his heart “He has some trouble doing things, but he… Those words are mean. And now she calls me them too because my stupid eyes don’t work like they should, but it’s still wrong. My brother is not less worthy of anything because of the difficulties he has”_

_“No, he isn’t” V stroke the child’s hair, “Your mother is wrong on ever calling either of you those things, because they are so disrespectful” he kept stroking the boy’s back, giving him_ space _to cry “You two are very bright kids. Saeran with his health issues, you with your sight problems… You two are perfect the way you are, all right? She has no idea of the two amazing people growing under her roof that she is missing to meet.” Saeyoung leaned his head against V’s shoulder, prompting the hyung to hug him by his side “When did this happen?”_

_“Yesterday” the boy answered. Saeyoung was used to pretending to be strong, but not that afternoon. His voice was weak, frail, those demons behind him seemed closer than ever and he could not be strong anymore._

_It had been another sleepless night with Saeran crying in panic when he could not leave his brother’s side. But he needed to get them food, which meant that as soon as their mother left, he gave his brother a kiss of goodbye and promised to come back as soon as he could. He visited church on his way back home to pray, hoping to see V, his… friend? Guardian? Parent?_

_“I see…” V took a deep breath, worried about the two children and especially about Saeyoung’s sight, something he had just discovered was giving him trouble “What is happening with your sight?”_

_“Everything is blurry. It began about one year ago. I… I can’t see things well anymore. Even you are blurry right now. I am scared” saying it out loud frightened him, as if it had become more of a reality with that._

_Saeyoung hated crying, but he could not stop. There were days harder than others, some of them were too hard for him to take, and he could not cry at home. Not after everything she had done to them. V held him tight, repeating endlessly how he and Saeran would be safe. Safe. Saeyoung knew that safety was only near V and Rika. There was no other safe place for children like them._

_“Don’t cry, my child. Please, you will be fine. You will be fine. You don’t need to be afraid, you just need glasses”_

_My child, V had said. The boy tried to ignore, he was not entitled to that fondness, still, his heart seemed warmer upon hearing the sound of those sweet words._

_“My mom won’t buy me any” he said “She refused because… because…” he couldn’t repeat her words “She said that if I need them I need to get them myself, that she wouldn’t waste her money with…” a crippled child like him and his brother. He couldn’t say it._

_“How much time do you have until you need to go home?”_

_The boy froze. He could feel where V was going with the question, but he couldn’t disturb hyung anymore than he already had. He was being a nuisance._

_“Some hours, mom is out drinking” he answered “But V, you don’t…”_

_“Shh” V brushed his ginger hair “Let’s get you some glasses. It’s a matter of safety for you. I promised that I would take care of you two.”_

_That afternoon, V bought the boy his first pair of glasses. Upon leaving the boy near his home, he gave him another hug._

_“We’ll fix this” V promised “You and Saeran will be free. In the meantime, stay safe, my child”_

The same words from years back resonated in his mind. The promises, the sweet words so foreign to the neglected child he had been. All his trust had been placed into that man’s kind eyes, and just as his friend’s sight, it was slowly crumbling into nothing. Saeyoung looked at the papers they had found in the drawer; the mint green papers; the Mint Eye logo scattered through them; Rika’s agenda, containing so many secrets he could not process.

Who was that man? Years before, Saeyoung would still not be able to answer. A friend? A guardian? A father? But there was one title he did not expect to add to the equation: a liar? The young man could not refrain from thinking if he had been used all along, if everything had always been a plan and he and Saeran had walked straight into it. If V had used them, if he was truly lying about the circumstances of Rika’s death, if he and Saeran had only been targets for some bigger plan. But it pained him so much. He and his brother, such easy targets, always so desperate for the affection and love they had never known in their home. No, he thought. V could not have planned to harm them. Not V. Not Rika. _Be safe, my child._ Safe. How could he be safe knowing that his brother was in that state?

Had Saeran ever been happy? He used to question that to himself a lot. Had the couple taken care of him? So many promises were made and now V drowned himself in them. Liar. Was V a liar? No. No. He could not be. If he was… Everything Saeyoung had ever done would have meant nothing.

MC sat near him, embracing him and allowing the hacker to lean against her. She murmured kind words in his ears, comforting his unsettled heart. He appreciated her presence, how she made him comfortable to be vulnerable near her. MC’s voice was warm, gentle, just like her. 

“What’s the plan?” she asked.

“No one will know about this. Not now” he answered “I hate to say this, but V is a suspect, and if he believes that we don’t have a clue about this, we’ll have the advantage.” he held her hand tight “We’ll investigate Jihyun Kim from now on”

. . .

V enjoyed Jumin’s company. He was still disturbed by the recent events, but upon having lunch with his dear friend he noticed how much he missed him. He was failing everyone he loved while trying to protect them, for that, he could never forgive himself. His mind was spinning, racing in between the twins, Jumin and the unsettling conversation with the prime minister.

“May I invite you to have a cup of coffee?” Jumin asked as they entered the C&R building once again.

“I think I’ll pass, Jumin. Thank you” V answered, seeing the same disappointed expression that had become common in his friend’s face “I’m sorry, I… I need to sort some…”

“V, what are you hiding from me?” Jumin asked “I comprehend that grief is a process and we must honour it, but I am worrying about how much of your time you’ve been dedicating to this practice. I am sure that Rika would want you to move onward with your life”

“Jumin-”

“Son!”

The two men turned around, seeing two figures walking in their direction. The first one V recognized was Mr. Han, Jumin’s father, the owner of the building and of the empire that was C&R. It had been long since he had last seen him. The second figure stood on Mr. Han’s side and made a chill run down Jihyun’s spine: it was his father. Pale skin, white hair, cold eyes. The same slick figure he had always been.

“How wonderful it is to meet you here!” Mr. Han greeted them as the two boys bowed to their parents “Jihyun, it’s been long since we last met. How are you?”

“I’m fine, Mr. Han” V forced himself to smile, trying to keep his balance upon the unexpected meeting with his father.

“That is good to hear. Well, after today, I could not expect for you not to be” he chuckled “I assume business went well, then?”

“Father” Jumin interfered. “I believe it is not adequate for us to discuss those matters here.”

“Pardon” the chairman chuckled once more “It's simply an honour to see how fruitful your career turned out to be. To imagine that one day you two were building pillow forts in Jumin’s bedroom and in the other you are making business with the prime minister.” he cleaned his throat “Well, now i shall go back to work. Mr. Kim, it was an honour reconnecting to you” they bowed “I believe our business shall show us results very soon. And, Jihyun, I’m so glad to see you again. May I borrow my son for a minute?”

Jumin looked at V. He knew that, if he asked, his friend would find a way to dismiss his father, but Jihyun could not disturb him like that. One day he would have to go back to talking with his own father, he imagined.

“No problem at all, Mr. Han. When you are finished we can have that cup of coffee, Jumin”

He watched Jumin follow his father before turning to face the man in front of him. It seemed natural and not at all surprising that the man would decide to visit Mr. Chairman on the exact day when his meeting with the prime minister was scheduled. He was a businessman after all, wherever he smelled profit, he followed. His father had never been an honoured businessman, not for those who saw his mercenary work and exploitative contracts. _It is all about the way you portray yourself, Jihyun._ Sometimes the man’s advice resonated in his head, remembering him of the person he never wished to become.

At first, he believed his father liked him. They were close in their own way, they talked and V was interested in his father's work. But that was until he met his mother and began to visit her in the isolated home she lived in, hidden in the backside of their vast property. Throughout his whole life, he had never seen his parents together, as expected since he had been the one to steal her hearing when he was born. His father and the people that worked in his home had always said that she had gone insane after losing her hearing, therefore, he was not allowed to visit. He might never have if it wasn’t for Jumin telling him to try and get closer to her. As an adult, he recognized the lifeboat his mother had been for him, leading him away from the cold path his father had settled for him, protecting him from a future of misery and unfulfillment; but as a teenager he had not been able to see that. He regretted how badly he acted with her at times, how stubborn and scared he was to open up to her and accept all the love she always offered him. Thanks to her and to his father’s despair, he became an artist. He noticed that his and his father’s talks were nothing more than his father’s long indoctrination process over him, forcing onto his mind the same rotten business ideals he used in his company, scoffing at artist’s like his mother had been, like he would become.

_When he decided to study photography instead of going to business school, it was long before he told his father. Knowing how strict the man was, Jihyun could not imagine the consequences his decision would bring him._

_“Jihyun, I wish to talk to you in my office”_

_It was already late, the boy had just arrived at home. It had been six months after his mother passed away. After leaving his bag in his bedroom, he entered his father’s office, closing the heavy wooden doors behind him. His father was looking at him, standing still in the middle of the room with his hands behind his back. Jihyun stood in front of his father, quiet until given permission to talk._

_“This arrived today. Care to explain?” the father said, reaching an open envelope towards the boy._

_His stomach twirled as soon as he took the paper on his hands, seeing the shield stamped in the envelope. SKY university. It was the response from college, but rather than being worried if he had managed to enter, the fear that crawled up his spine was that his father had seen his approval on the photography major instead of business._

_“This… This is the letter that says that I was approved on college, father”_

_“And what is the major that is indicated in the letter?”_

_“Photogr-”_

_His father slapped him before he finished talking, making him lower his head and stay quiet. It had not been the first time his father raised his hand against him, but that was the worst one. He could feel the disappointment in the air. His mouth was dry and his heart unsettled._

_“I’ve given you the best education, every single tutor, class, school… Can’t you value any of that, Jihyun?”_

_“I-I value, fath-”_

_“No, you don’t.” he interrupted him “If I knew you would become an stupid artist, I would never have spent one won with you. Pathetic. Photography? Can’t you even pick up a camera and take photos? What the hell are you going to learn there?”_

_His father hardly ever yelled. His tone was always strict, and he would explain to Jihyun what he had done wrong and the punishment that he would receive for that, but yelling was never part of the equation, so it signaled how angry his father was on that occasion._

_“An artist” his father scoffed “I wasted my time with you, my money, so many resources… For you to become an artist. A whole empire of business for you to throw this opportunity away because you rather take photos of birthday parties and call it a job”_

_Jihyun was bothered by that. For the last months, he was growing tired of his father’s behaviour, his manner of looking down on art, even if that was his source of income. Artists were the poor cattle he explored, just like he did to her. And Jihyun had been the result of it._

_“You don’t want a future?” he yelled “You’ll end up homeless on the streets working with that, and then don’t you expect me to help you. That will be your future if you decide to go on with this stupid act of rebellion” his father crossed his arms, looking down at Jihyun “It’s all her fault, that pathetic woman. Always soaking around the property, getting her dirty hands in you… Just an useless cripple...”_

_“Shut up,” Jihyun said before he could control himself._

_“Excuse me?”_

_“Don’t talk about my mother like that” Jihyun looked straight in his father’s eyes “She simply lost her hearing, this does not make her less of a person than you and me, in fact, she was much better than you would ever be”_

_His father grabbed him by his collar, but that time Jihyun did not avert his gaze._

_“I am the one who raised you, but just two years of you listening to her demented artistic ideals and now you are talking back to your father. It will only take you some time until you are rebelling against everything, walking around with those punks on the street. Is this what you want, Jihyun? You want to be like your mother, that suddenly could not play anymore because of becoming invalid and then hysterical? She had nothing else to give to this world after that, no useful contribution she could give anyone because she spent her entire life thinking about how pretty music is and playing her little violin as if there were no troubles in the world. Do you want to be useless like her? A burden to those around her until she finally left her pathetic existence behind?”_

_Jihyun shivered. He wanted to yell, hurt that man for everything he had just said. But all he did was look deep into his father’s eyes._

_“Yes. I want to be like my mother” he pushed his father away from him “She was the greatest person I’ve known and the greatest example I had in my life. I want to be just like her.”_

_His father beat him a few more times for what he had said, continuing to yell about the future and his choices, but Jihyun did not mind. He would be just like the mother that had given her life for him._

“Hello, father,” he greeted.

“Good afternoon, Jihyun. It’s… It’s been long since I’ve last seen you. I see that you are still in the photography business”

“Yes, I am”

Silence followed. They had become more common between them, but not less uncomfortable.

“I heard about your marriage. Congratulations” V said, the words tasted bitter in his mouth.

“Oh, thank you” his father answered, “She is a good woman who has a _real_ career. She represents various singers in the industry”

V took a deep breath. Ever since he and his father’s discussion about his major, his father had become even more bitter regarding his mother.

“I came here to visit Mr. Chairman and he informed me about your important meeting today. I must congratulate you. My offer still stands to represent your career, I must remember you. I’m sure that negotiations went well today, but Jumin is not an arts _connoisseur_ , it is risky to lean on him to make sure your deals…”

“I did not make any deal with the prime minister” V interrupted.

Another silence took place.

“I see… Are you trying to ruin your career, Jihyun?” his father asked and it felt as if a knife crossed Jihyun’s chest “You have not presented any new works in the past months, now this. You will soon be forgotten, son. You are not such a talented artist that you can live forever out of the profit your art gives you, renovation is necessary.”

“I know what is necessary for my career, father,” he answered.

The longest silence was established in their conversation. V considered walking away, but he did not wish to be rude.

“Well, I shall wish you good luck, then.” he grinned “I’ve known one story about one artist that got too full of herself and then, lost her entire career because of one unfortunate incident. I hope that you do not seek to follow the same path as this person. Goodbye, son”

“Goodbye, father”

. . .

“Where are you? Where did you go on your own?” Saeyoung’s voice sounded shaky over the phone

“Sweetie, calm down.” MC answered as she crossed the street “I just went to the convenience store nearby. We ran out of some products and… Well, I wanted to make something good for us tonight. I’m worried about you” 

“You were so quiet getting out, it took me a while to notice you were gone! What if something happened to you? Thank God you are safe” he murmured “Why did you go away like that?”

“It’s a surprise,” she teased, looking at the package of Honey Buddha Chips in one of the plastic bags “I’m sorry for scaring you, I really did not want to. It was supposed to be a surprise, that’s all”

He sighed, watching the security camera in front of the building that showed her getting closer to the entrance “I see you in the camera. I’ll wait for you by the door, all right?”

“Sure! It’s a bit weird to hear you saying that you see me. It’s kinda spooky” she giggled

“I’m always watching,” he teased, making a deeper voice and laughing.

MC shifted the bags in her hands in order to be able to type the key to open the building door. As she pressed the numbered buttons, one arm grabbed her by her waist, pulling her to a black car that had no license plate. MC screamed, kicking the air, hitting the man’s face with her elbow and making him drop her on the ground. MC tried to run, looking for help in the almost deserted street, but another man grabbed her and, forcing a tissue over her mouth and nose, held her tight until her vision started to fade and everything went dark.

The scene happened too fast for Saeyoung to follow and in a blink of one eye, he was in the elevator, going down, praying for her safety. Saeyoung ran out of the building in time to see the car turning the corner. He shivered, yelling for MC, trying desperately to run after the vehicle, but it was gone. He dropped to his knees, shivering too much to control the tears that flooded his eyes. MC had been kidnapped.

. . .

Saeyoung opened the door as soon as he heard the doorbell. For years he had not felt such panic settle in his heart. Focus, he kept on repeating to himself, but right after he saw her scared eyes, the man trying to drag her into the car. He failed her just like he failed his brother. Idiot. Useless _._ How could he be that slow to care for her? 

“Luciel, I came as fast as I-”

“Shut up. Shut up, V” Saeyoung said “Stop calling me by this stupid name, just… What the hell is this Mint Eye place Saeran is working for? Why did they take MC?”

V looked at the boy, his face twisted in a sad expression that enraged the younger man even more.

“I don’t have much information-” V said, but before he could finish, Seven grabbed him by the collar, pressing him against the door leaf.

“Stop! Stop lying. Just stop, V, for God’s sake, please. Please” Saeyoung began to cry, the droplets of tears streamed down his face, staining his glasses “Tell me what happened to Saeran! What happened to MC? Why did those Mint Eye people take them? Why didn’t you take care of my brother? I need to know. Answer me!” he sobbed, loosening his grip against the older man’s shirt “I need to know who you are. Please, V. I can’t lose everyone like this. Just… Answer me so that I can trust you again. Please.”

Slowly, V held the boy’s head, cupping his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Saeyoung…” he said “I’ve only known about Saeran recently, I was trying to get more information before telling you. I am investigating them, just give me more time. There are reasons why I do not want you to get involved right now.” he managed to loosen the boy’s grip completely, stepping to the side, towards the hallway “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Here, take this. This is why I was coming here when you called” V placed one flash drive in Saeyoung’s hand “You might need this and I… If something happens, I want you to have it. I must go, I’m sorry… Now that she took MC, I need…” V was disoriented, ashamed, finding it odd the lack of reaction of the older of the twins “I will save her and Saeran, don’t come into this. I don’t want you to… I’m sorry, Saeyoung'' He cupped the boy’s face one more “Stay safe, my child”

With that, he left. Saeyoung stood still, watching him leave, tears streaming down his face. V had lied once more. Just like that, Saeyoung’s trust in the mint eyed man vanished with the sound of the elevator going to the ground floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotional hell is coming. 
> 
> So yes, Mc has been kidnapped... It happens, I guess.
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	15. New Route

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, no warnings this time (Saeran is mean to himself tho, be aware of that)!

Ray typed on his keyboard. _Keep working._ The clicking of the keyboard’s keys ticktacked as if counting the seconds of his work, their beating sound recording him being useful to savior, showing his minimum value to be alive. His mind seemed clouded by a dense mist, the last three days seemed disconnected, blurry, unreal. _Keep working, she will be disappointed in you again._

He knew that he was not supposed to think. It pained him to and Savior had explained to him more than once that Ray was dumb, _useless_ , unworthy. Memories would only hurt them and most times it was easy to not remember about the past when he was awake, but that horrid flashes of his cleansing still crawled in the dark corners of his mind, as if the back of his head had a projector that kept on playing those faded scenes again and again. It all felt unreal, Saviour's disappointed face, her pleased grin when the other believers forced the elixir down his throat. When Sae-the stronger him arrived, they were already waiting for him at the gate. Savior had already prepared the ceremony and they were just waiting for him. As _strong_ as the other one was, he would never yell to Savior, as she was his Savior too. 

Ray could not pinpoint at which point he had been the one to take control once more. It had already been months since the last time he managed to make the decisions, he was not good at that. _Useless idiot._ He remembered being dragged to the basement, but he had already been punished as there was blood on his shirt. His blood. On the next second he was already being locked in one of the cells, despite his pleas for them to not chain his foot again, _for if they did he could not run from mother._ She was dead, he knew. _She can’t hurt you, idiot. She is dead._ The chains remembered him of the rope tied to the water pipe. In his delusional state, waiting for his body to absorb the elixir, praying for the pain to fade away, he remembered her screams, her slurs, her cold hand hurting him in so many different ways. _Don’t bring her._

There was no food in the basement, he knew that. Fasting was for the purification of the flesh, Savior said. Ray did not understand, _but Ray is stupid._ It was never his place to question her, or even compare her decisions to his old mother. _Idiot, idiot, idiot._ The memory so faded, so blurry, drenched in mint colored dots and shades. Someone came. _Stop remembering and go back to work._ There was a believer in one of the days when Ray yelled in pain. He did not say a word and Ray could not see his face, but he left food. _It was wrong of him._ Ray was starving and he ate the bread until the last bite. _We were hungry, it would be dumb not to eat._ A chill ran down his spine, fear of Savior discovering it as she always did when he did something bad. If she found out about that, his good Savior would say that the cleansing ceremony did not work, that he would have to go through it again. Ray knew that it had worked, she would be mista- _Are you doubting Savior?_ No. Should we tell her? _No._

Ray realized that he had stopped working and kept on staring at the screens. _Idiot._ He took a deep breath and drowned himself back into work. _Keep working._ He still could not forget that stranger that had come up to his cell. _He should be punished for that._ Ray was so hungry that day and that person gave him food, just like Sae- _Shut up. Shut up. Shut up and work, stupid bug._ Ray was truly a bug. _Traitor._ He should not think. Thinking was for those who were smart and strong.

“Thinking is bad for you, my child” Savior always said “You know that ideas are for those who are clever. You still have not proven your worth to go around having ideas of your own”

Savior was wise, much wiser than him. Her words were always exactly what he needed to hear, what he deserved. Still, sometimes Ray thought about things. _We shouldn’t._ Sometimes he remembered. _Stop._ Sometimes he revisited memories of- _traitor, traitor, traitor. He betrayed you, stupid bug. He betrayed you and ran away because you were so weak, because he hated a good for nothing like you. He despised you and that is why he used you and left._ Ray wasn’t allowed to think about those terrible people. But he was allowed to remember about Myung Chae. His childhood had no other good memory other than her, the only person besides savior that didn’t hate him, that accepted the useless him. _Just a weakling like you._ He wished to keep her safe, repay the kindness she had shown him those years before. _We must protect her. Here she will be safe._ Safe. Ray needed to keep her safe, but now she was locked in that apartment with a traitor. _Should we bring her here?_ Will she be safe here? _Yes._ Yes. But for that he needed time. _She is weak like you, she will suffer with the cleansing._ She was ready, there was no need for that. She was just as kind as Savior. _We need to show it to her._ Once Savior saw how kind Myung Chae was, there would be no need to make her drink the elixir.

Before he could notice, he opened the camera feed. As if he was not the one in control, he connected to the camera in front of her building. Upon looking at the screen, Ray almost fell from his chair. _Myung Chae is in danger._ He stood up as if his legs did it on their own. The two believers dragged her to the car. They dragged her to the Mint Eye car. _What is Savior doing?_ What is Savior doing? Ray shivered as he saw Myung Chae be taken to Mint Eye.

. . .

“I need you” Seven said, pacing around the apartment’s living room and holding his cellphone against his ear.

After V left like that, he felt lost, but he had no time for that. He needed to act as fast as he could, as soon as he could, as skilled as he could. And he knew the right person for that job.

“What the hell, kid?” Vanderwood’s voice resonated from the other side of the line “I’m busy right now”

Saeyoung pulled his bangs off his face, dropping on the couch in front of his computer.

“I don’t care. I need your help right now”

“I’m busy chasing you, kid. Just got the orders.” Vanderwood answered in an urgent tone “Which means that I’m packing my bags to get the fuck off this country”

“I can help you.” Saeyoung said “With the agency and everything else, including a new identity. Brand new start. Come on, Vanderwood. Please” he pleaded “They took her. Some people kidnapped the girl that you were watching on the cctv. Please. I need your help”

Silence reigned on the other side.

“Crap” Vanderwood murmured “Fuck you, Seven. Stupid kid with a computer. Crap. If you are lying about the new ID…”

“I’m not, I swear. Are you coming?”

“Yes. Let’s meet somewhere, not in your hideout. I’ll text you from another number.”

. . .

Yoosung was bored out of his mind. His philosophy classes were extensive, tyring, slow. Sometimes he wondered how it was possible for his teacher to talk in such a low voice and so slowly as he did. Still, he had promised to his mother that he would engage more with the classes, go back to being a good student. The boy was still angry at Jumin for calling her, but deep down he was thankful for being able to reconnect with her, especially after having spent six months barely talking to his family after losing Rika. 

It still hurt. Every time he saw V he could not refrain from thinking that the man was hiding too many things from them. He trusted that V would make her happy, but at that moment he felt that the photographer had only brought misery to his cousin. 

He pulled his cellphone under his chair with the objective of seeing any new messages that would take his mind anywhere that wasn’t the class. Just a little distraction, that would not be breaking the promise. Yoosung had exchanged some messages with MC asking if she wanted to play games with him, asking if Seven could play with them too, and he hoped to see one answer from her, but as he unlocked the cellphone, he saw that a new chatroom had opened. The name made him freeze. Without thinking, he rose up on his chair. Seeing the surprised look on his elder professor’s face, he asked

“May I go to the bathroom, sir? I’m not feeling well”

As soon as the professor nodded, he ran out of the class.

. . .

“I refuse! I am not leaving until I hear it from her. Until I know that it was her choice and not something you embedded in her mind, forced down her soul as a duty rooted in our darkest traditions. My heart shall never rest, my body shall never sleep until I hear from my true love’s lips that you will make her just as happy as I would. Not until I see her face smile upon hearing your voice, upon the mere thought of you. Do not speak for her and let me in. Let me in so that I can meet her for one last time”

Zen lowered the script, waiting for the other actor to say his line, but met his impressed gaze staring at him. The white haired man was used to such stares.

“Ilsung, your line…” the director said

“Oh, s-sorry” the young actor looked down his page “I-I lost myself at Zen’s beautiful… performance. His beautiful performance”

The director laughed “That’s fine. Let’s take a five minute break and then we shall go back to this scene. IIsung, remember, intensity, all right? We’ll work on it when we get back to the rehearsal.”

The actor, IIsung, looked to the ground, blushing. Zen took a cup of coffee for himself, observing the other from far away. He was cute, that was true, and Zen recognized that look. 

“Great scene back there,” IIlsung said, stopping by his side. “You are really talented, Zen. Your performance was moving”

“Thank you” Zen smiled. “You were amazing too. Hye-ja told me that you have just begun your career, that is impressive. If you need any help with rehearsal…”

“I would love some help… Maybe we could grab a cup of coffee later?” the man asked, quickly adding “To talk about the play, of course” he blushed once more.

“It would be a great pleasure. After rehearsal, then?” Zen felt his heart beating harder. It was a date. 

“Yeah” the other answered “Sounds good”

Zen was still smiling when the director called them to go back. Before returning, he opened the messenger, hoping to see news from MC. He truly did not like the idea of her and that crazy boy Seven alone in the apartment. As soon as he saw the new chatroom, he excused himself, claiming to have a family emergency to solve. He ran to the alleyway in the back of the theater and sat on the steps of the stair.

. . .

Jaehee had spent the most irregular afternoon. First there was the Prime Minister meeting, that she learned from her co-workers - as Mr. Han barely told her things until the last minute - had been unfruitful. Later on she had to solve an “emergency” regarding Mr. Han’s mouse that had run out of battery, but he swore that it had been hacked and it took her some time to persuade him not to summon all the programmers in the building to get rid of the “mouse hackers”. Not too much later she had to deal with a new cat project idea, forcing her to do research and a report on why it would not be possible to create a franchise of gourmet restaurants for cats. As the sun was setting, she logged in the messenger for a bit. Mr Han was in a meeting and she could rest for five minutes before redirecting her attention to the agenda for the next few weeks. 

As soon as she saw the chatroom, Jaehee stood up. Her hands shivered to hear such horrific news. Without second thought, she rushed to the meeting room, knocking on the door before coming in.

“I apologize for the inconvenience. Mr. Han, sir, may I have a word. An emergency requires your attention” she could barely focus on any other faces that were not Jumin Han’s, all her attention was destined to keeping her voice as natural as possible and getting her boss off the meeting room at that exact instant.

“Excuse me,” Jumin said to the others, going to the door that assistant Kang closed behind him “That was a very important meeting, what could be so-”

“MC has been kidnapped” Jaehee said before he could finish his sentence.

. . .

_New chatroom opened: Myung was Kidnapped_

_707 has entered the chatroom_

707: Hi

707: I do not have much time, 

707: so I’ll be very forward with you guys. 

707: Anyone there?

_Yoosung has entered the chatroom_

Yoosung: What happened?

Yoosung: I thought you were with her?

Yoosung: Who did it?

Yoosung: Was it the hacker?

Yoosung: I mean… your brother

707: I’ll explain

707: I’m just waiting for the others to arrive

_Zen has entered the chatroom_

Zen: SEVEN

Zen: GIVE ME THE ADDRESS RIGHT NOW

Zen: I’M GOING THERE TO HELP YOU

707: Zen…

Zen: NO ONE IS HURTING MC UNDER MY WATCH

707: Listen to me plz

707: I’ll explain

Zen: You better explain 

_Jumin Han has entered the chatroom_

_Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom_

Jumin Han: I can summon a security team at any instant

Zen: dude, is this even the way to enter a chatroom

Zen: No need to be this extra…

Jumin Han: I comprehend that you are in charge of security, Luciel.

Jumin Han: So I am at your service.

Jaehee: I have already put them on hold to be prepared to act whenever we call

707: Tks, guys

707: But right now, we better not

707: I need to tell you some things

Yoosung: You can tell us Seven

Yoosung: We’re here to help

ZEN: I think he was about to do so, Yoosung

Jaehee: Why don’t we read what Luciel has to say?

707: Thank u, Jaehee

707: I cannot tell you guys everything

707: We don’t have time for that

707: I know you were all shocked to see

707: my discussion with V a few days ago

Yoosung: Yeah, because he hurt your brother

Jaehee: Yoosung…

ZEN: Yoosung…

707: That is complicated for me to go into

707: V helped me and my brother a lot

707: That i can tell you

707: We don’t come from a good background

707: We did not have good parents growing up

707: So V helped us a lot because of that

Yoosung: But then he lied, didn’t he?

Jumin Han: Yoosung

Jumin Han: I believe that we cannot meddle in Luciel and V’s relationship

Jumin Han: As far as I am concerned,

Jumin Han: V has always had a paternal feeling towards Luciel

Jumin Han: So even if we shall offer them our support

Jumin Han: we should refrain from letting our personal judgement

Jumin Han: affect their discussions

Yoosung: That makes it even worse knowing that V lied;;;

ZEN: Yoosung…

_V has entered the chatroom_

Jumin Han: V

V: Hello…

V: Luciel…

V: Are you going to tell everything?

V: I worry about your safety… The agency… 

707: I left the agency already

707: My brother has always been my priority

707: You know that

707: I left right in the moment I came to the apartment

707: There is nothing we can do about that

Jaehee Kang: Left?!

Jaehee Kang: But Luciel, you always tell us about the danger of your job…

Jaehee Kang: Are you safe?!

Jaehee Kang: We can send security to you wherever you are.

707: I’m safe

707: Don’t worry about me

707: Ms. Vanderwood is helping me out

ZEN: Your maid?!

Yoosung: More important than that:

Yoosung: V!

Yoosung: Answer Seven now!

Yoosung: Tell him what happened to his brother

V: Yoosung…

V: Me and Luciel talked for a bit…

V: I can’t...

707: Me and V will sort things out

Yoosung: You can’t sort things out if one side keeps hiding everything

Jaehee Kang: Yoosung...

707: The point is that after I left Saeran to become an agent

707: I believed that Saeran would be safe

707: I became an agent to protect him 

707: Changed my name and everything

ZEN: protect him from what?

ZEN: Seven, are you in danger?

ZEN: Where are you, let me go to you

707: But apparently he is not safe

707: This group, Mint Eye, is using him

707: They have done something to him

707: I know my brother and he was not in his regular state

707: Now they’ve gotten MC

707: And Saeran seems to be hacking the RFA server

Jaehee Kang: Why would he be attacking us?

707: I don’t know, Jaehee.

707: But now I’ll do whatever I can to get my brother back

707: I’m sorry for hiding so much from all of you

707: Now I need you all by my side, more than ever

707: I trust all of you so much

707: And to show that…

707: I’d like to tell you all my birth name

Yoosung: Your real birth name? 

Yoosung: For real?

ZEN: Is this a joke?

V: Are you sure?

707: Yes… I am

707: I’m Saeyoung…

707: Saeyoung Choi

Saeyoung: I hope you can accept me like this 

Saeyoung: just like you accepted Seven and Luciel

Yoosung: You hope?

Yoosung: What are you talking about?

Yoosung: I don’t care about the name, 

Yoosung: you are always going to be my best friend

ZEN: Yeah, dude!

ZEN: Whatever made you change it,

ZEN: It’s nice to see you going back to it

Jumin Han: It’s a pleasure to meet you as Saeyoung Choi

Jaehee Kang: Yes

Jaehee Kang: I was just about to say the same

Jaehee Kang: How can we all help you, Saeyoung?

Saeyoung: I don’t have much information

Saeyoung: But I could use Jumin’s resources for help.

Jumin Han: anything you need. 

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang has already modified our schedule

Jumin Han: Rescuing MC is our top priority

Saeyoung: Great!

Saeyoung: I’ve sent you a list through email

Saeyoung: I need a team of C&R’s best hackers

Saeyoung: An intelligence unit

Jumin Han: Consider it done

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang

Jumin Han: I have wonderful news to give you

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han, I believe that Saeyoung is still on the same subject

Jumin Han: Yes, it is regarding that

Jumin Han: You see, we must select the most appropriate personnel 

Jumin Han: to be in charge of the unit

Jaehee Kang: You’re right.

Jaehee Kang: It would have to be someone who possesses

Jaehee Kang: A wide knowledge of information and communication

Jaehee Kang: Who can share acquired information with both C&R and the RFA

Jumin Han: Right you are

Jumin Han: Therefore…

Jumin Han: I believe that you are the most appropriate candidate.

Jaehee Kang: ……

Jaehee Kang: Beg your pardon

Jumin Han: Whenever I walk past you

Jumin Han: I can hear you typing at lightning speed

Jumin Han: Besides, you made my mouse start to work once more today

Jaehee Kang: That was just the batteries

Jumin Han: You’ve proven to have great knowledge on information technology

Jumin Han: Congratulations, chief of the department

Jaehee Kang: ………. 

Yoosung: ……….

ZEN: Congrats, Jaehee!

ZEN: Finally your skills are being recognized

Saeyoung: Ya

Saeyoung: Congrats 4 your skillz

Jaehee Kang: Saeyoung……..

Jaehee Kang: Shouldn’t you go investigate MC’s kidnapping?

Yoosung: We’ll do whatever we can to help, Saeyoung

Yoosung: We are here for you

ZEN: Yeah

ZEN: Whatever you tell us, we’ll do

Saeyoung: Great

Saeyoung: thank you so much

Saeyoung: For now, just stay safe

Saeyoung: I don’t need security right now,

Saeyoung: but it would be nice to send the security guards 

Saeyoung: to the other members, Jumin

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang will take care of that

Jaehee Kang: Yes…

Jaehee Kang: As well as of the Intelligence Unit…

Saeyoung: Yoosung, go to Zen’s place

Saeyoung: It’s not safe for you to be alone

Yoosung: You’re not saying this to the others

Saeyoung: Yeah

Saeyoung: Because you’re the younger

Saeyoung: Pack up your stuff and go

ZEN: Yeah, he’s right

ZEN: I’m heading to my place now,

ZEN: Want me to pick you up?

Yoosung: I’m at the university 

Yoosung: Can we go to my house so that I can pack a bag?

ZEN: Yes

ZEN: Wait for me at the gate, I’m on my way

ZEN: Everyone, call me if you need anything

ZEN: Especially you, Saeyoung

ZEN: See ya

_ZEN has left the chatroom_

Yoosung: I should go get my bag and wait for him

Yoosung: Saeyoung

Yoosung: Will you be alright?

Saeyoung: I’m fine

Saeyoung: Just go

Saeyoung: I’ll call you later

Yoosung: Alright

Yoosung: Bye, everyone

Yoosung: We’ll text when we get to Zen’s place

_Yoosung has left the chatroom_

Jumin Han: We should leave too.

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang,

Jumin Han: Meet me in my office so that we can discuss the unit furthermore

Jaehee Kang: I’m sitting right next to you, sir…

Jaehee Kang: There is no need for us to text this

Jumin Han: It would not be polite with V and Saeyoung

Jaehee Kang: We should leave

Jaehee Kang: Excuse us

_Jaehee Kang left the chatroom_

_Jumin Han left the chatroom_

V: Saeyoung…

V: I’m…

Saeyoung: I know

Saeyoung: You’ve said it before

Saeyoung: This is not the place for this

Saeyoung: All I want is answers…

Saeyoung: When you give them to me,

Saeyoung: I’ll trust you again

Saeyoung: Goodbye, V

_Saeyoung has left the chatroom_

Saeyoung threw his cellphone to the side, pinching his head as he let out a long sigh.

“Everything is set up, kid” Vanderwood said “You are in charge this time, just give me your orders”

Saeyoung looked at the man standing in the doorway to the bedroom, a whole collection of computers scattered around the tiny space. 

“Let’s get down to work,” he smirked.

Whoever the person in charge of Mint Eye was, they should be careful, for Saeyoung Choi had a small number of people who were precious to him, and it was never wise to mess with any of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm basically setting up things in this chapter, in the next one we'll get to hop into action again. 
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	16. Mint Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mentions of child abuse

MC’s head was spinning. Even with her eyes shut, she felt the world wobbling around her. The floor felt cold under her body and she wondered if she had slipped on the sidewalk. Saeyoung should be worried, they were on the phone and then… She couldn’t remember. Without opening her eyes, Myung felt the floor around her with her hand, trying to feel the rubbery case that covered her cellphone’s back and sides, but only the cold and irregular stone was felt underneath her fingers. Confused, MC let out a soft moan as she sat up, feeling a bolt of pain in her waist that brought all memories back. Two men had attacked her, one of them held her by the waist, pulling her back towards the car. She jumped, sitting on the floor and looking at her surroundings. She was not on the sidewalk. Around her, stone walls rose from the ground, but the ceiling seemed low. A row of cells extended itself, involving her in one of the many to be seen. The girl could hear faint screams from far away, but could not pinpoint to which direction they indicated. Her chest tightened, her breathing accelerated as the world seemed to twirl and spin around her with the realization: she had been kidnapped.

Myung tried to stand, but her legs gave in and nausea took hold of her stomach. They had forced her to smell something. She could still feel the brush of the tissue against her mouth and nose, that bitter smell that made her mouth salivate and the man pressing her throat forcing her to keep on breathing, inhaling that drug, whatever it was. MC felt that she couldn’t breathe, an invisible hand entering her chest, flooding her longs, sent an uncontrollable cold up and down her spine that invaded her limbs and took hold of her body. She cried, controlling herself not to sob too loudly, not to call attention to herself. There were chains attached to the wall of the cell, but, in that moment, she was not chained, free to walk around the small cubicle. 

Suddenly, steps resonated on the stone floor, coming up the hallway. MC did not wish for them to be aware that she was awake, not at that moment, so she laid back on the floor, her back turned to the bars that held the cell closed shut. A sob came up her throat, but she held it back, clenching her jaw and closing her eyes not to let the tears out. They could not know that she was awake. 

“Don’t you think he’ll be angry? He wanted to bring her here, they said” 

It was a male voice, growing louder as it came up the corridor.

“Ray is back. You were not on the cleansing, right?” A woman’s voice replied.

“No. Why?”

“Well, let’s just say you won’t have to worry. Savior is still keeping an eye on him, he still has not returned to all of his responsibilities.”

“Shouldn’t we tell him?”

“There is no need for that. Savior will tell him whatever he needs to know.” the woman scoffed “I’m sure that she’ll make him go through a cleansing again as soon as he messes this up. That annoying fuck”

“Believer G485…”

“Come on, friend” she laughed “I was in charge of the cleansing. I do not know how you can fear him”

Their voices faded away and MC opened her eyes. Ray… She had no idea of who Ray was, but she would make sure to give that jerk a piece of her mind when they met. There was also a Savior, according to what those people had said. It was really a cult. It sounded like one, at last. She needed to know if she truly was at Mint Eye. Slowly, she tried to stand once more, stumbling a bit before she picked up the balance. Walking towards the bars on the front of the cell, she held the metal tight, leaning forward as much as the metal bars allowed. There were no windows to be seen, no signs, nothing. The narrow hallway was lit by only a few lights, creating an eerie feeling in the place. Someone was still screaming in the background, making her stomach swirl once more. What they wanted with her? 

MC took some steps back, dropping her weight back on the floor. Tears flooded her eyes and she cried. The sobs came up her throat. She was aware that falling in despair was the worse thing to do in situations like that, but keeping calm was easier said than done. Truth was that she was scared. For many nights she had nightmares about that situation, and now it presented itself as real. Myung cried for a long time, too long and she only stopped when she heard footsteps once more, coming her way.

. . .

_Myung flinched at the light as Areum’s father turned it on in order to go to the kitchen to make popcorn for the three of them. The two girls were sitting close to each other, curled under a blanket and a pile of pillows that they meticulously arranged in spite of Areum’s father’s offers to get more blankets for them. It was saturday, and saturday usually meant movie night._

_“I still think it’s absurd that the guy in the movie cannot escape that place” Areum commented “I don’t know who is worse, the guy or the kidnappers”_

_“You’re such a boomer” MC said “It’s a comedy! Come on…” she giggled “Of course they will take those absurd decisions! If I were ever kidnapped, I would totally kick everyone’s ass and get the hell out of there”_

_“Myung, please…” Areum laughed “You’re kidding, right?”_

_“No, I’m not!” MC exclaimed “I can be dangerous, come on”_

_“MC, you cried today and desperately called me to kill a cockroach” she laughed, pulling her cellphone up to check the messages._

_“I meant kidnapped by people, not by creatures that came from hell” MC took a look on Areum’s phone “Oh, are we talking to Eunji?” she teased, grinning._

_“Yes, I am… Because she is a friend” Areum said, taking a look at Myung ‘Oh, shut up, MC”_

_“I did not even say anything…” Myung answered, giggling “So… Did you ask her out?”_

_“No. I didn’t. I don’t even know if she likes me.”_

_“You’re kidding” MC turned around to face her friend, dropping three pillows off her lap “Areum, she is totally into you. And you are clearly totally into her, you even stopped paying attention on the important discussion about me surviving a kidnapping”_

_Areum laughed, throwing her cellphone back on the couch._

_“All right, dongsaeng. Do you know what I think? I think that if you were kidnapped you would freak out at first, but, I’ve seen you give a piece of your mind to people before, so I’m sure that the kidnappers would be screwed in your hands.”_

_Myung giggled. “What would you do if you were kidnapped, unnie?”_

_“Me? I would cry until someone saved me, I’m not crazy”_

. . .

Ray held the folder against his chest, waiting outside of the main hall, where Saviour was talking to other believers. _Concentrate._ He needed to concentrate, but the sound of his heart beating on his ears was enough to make him panic even more. After seeing that scene unfold in front of his eyes, he had rushed to work harder, faster, better. _Show her that you are worthy._ If Savior was pleased, he had more chances of seeing Myung Chae. 

He had tried to go to the basement, but the believers made him come back. After being cleansed, Savior would keep watch on him to make sure that he wouldn’t stray from the rightful path once more. _Idiot._ Even if it had been the other one, _Ray was the idiot._ Ray knew that the believers would talk about it again… It had been so long since Savior took him into her loving arms, away from the people that hurt and used him, but he still had not been able to prove himself useful. _If you don’t do it right, I’ll do it._ No. Not him. Not him. Ray wanted to see Myung Chae.

“Ray, come in” Savior’s soft voice called.

He took a deep breath, his hands shivering as he reached the doorknob. _Be happy, you’ll talk with Savior._ Ray was happy just as he always was whenever Savior wanted to talk to him. She was kind, sweet, caring, _could send you to the basement again, stupid bug._ No. If he were to put it like that, it sounded as if Savior was like _mother,_ no. _No, shut up._ Shut up. Stupid Ray, evoking _stupid_ thoughts. Savior was good and all she did was care for him, even if he misbehaved, even if he was useless, a good for nothing, she accepted him and loved him so much more than anyone ever had. 

There were other believers in the room. Ray felt their stares, but tried to remain calm. _Coward._ He had to show them that they needed to respect him, that he was worthy. _If you mess up they’ll know that you are stupid stupid stupid._ There were some believers with whom Savior talked the most, people in charge of the other divisions of Magenta. There were so many of them, as the good Saviour had managed to truly create a beautiful paradise for them. _People who were here before you, so show respect._ He respected them all because Savior also did. _They know that you were cleansed._ They knew and thought low of him. _Weak._ Ray was weak. _Behave well, stupid bug._

“For paradise,” he bowed.

“For paradise,” Savior answered, reaching her hand out in order to take the folder he carried “I hope you managed to make a meticulous work”

“Y-Yes, my Savior,” he stuttered. _Idiot, don’t stutter. Can’t you even speak?_ “I interfered with some of the signals and managed to acquire some past chat logs. I’m trying to reach the main server, but I’ve still not been able to-”

“Past chat logs, Ray?” she asked.

Oh, no. _Oh, no._ She had not been pleased. _Idiot, idiot, idiot, useless idiot._ He stood still, waiting for her, listening to the other believers murmuring around him. _They are saying how stupid you are, crippled idiot._

“Do you think past logs are enough, Ray?” she asked, standing in front of him

“No, my Savior” he answered, lowering his gaze “I did everything I could today, but I’ll do better in the future. I am sorry. I-”

“You did well for now” she interrupted “This will do” her soft hand brushed the skin on his cheek, leading him to look at her as she smiled “Now, Ray, we have some news for you. I wish to communicate to you that I managed to clean up your little mess from before.”

He froze. Ray was the one supposed to bring Myung Chae up, not Savior. Had Savior sensed this? _Had she sensed his other sins?_

“I brought Myung Chae here.” she stated “Saeran seemed so interested in bringing her… I Imagined that you might have plans for her here with us. I must admit that taking her to us was harder than we planned, considering that she broke the nose of one of our dear believers” 

_Holy crap._ Myung Chae broke someone’s nose. _Maybe not that weak._ Much stronger than Ray, anyways. Ray had watched it happen, he had seen it on the cctv, but Savior did not know. She could never know about his bonds with Myung Chae.

Savior smiled but she did not seem pleased. It was an annoyed smile, as if she had to laugh at a disturbing joke. “Besides, she is no longer useful to us now that she is actively helping Saeyoung” don’t say that name, don’t, don’t, _don’t say the name of traitor,_ it hurts, _kill him now_ “to investigate us, so I believe that we must discard her as quickly as we can.”

No. _No._ Myung Chae was in danger and Ray had to act, he had to do something, to protect her, defend her, react quick enough to save her but slow enough so that Savior would not notice. _Make something up._ We’ve lied too much to Savior. _Lie more, idiot._

“She is useful”

_Lie better, idiot._

“I-I mean… I b-believe that she may be useful to us, S-Savior”

She kept on staring at him, motioning for him to continue. Ray had to continue the lie. He did not know how to lie. _If you don’t do it, I will._ No.

“The redhead wants to save her. I believe that he must be working on it right now since-” flashes of memories came to his head. The redhead and Myung, they played together. Ray was there and he also played, he laughed so much and the redhead carried him on his- _Stop, stop, snap out of it._ Marry in the space station. The _traitor_ would marry Myung Chae on a space station. “Since he seems to have developed feelings for her, my Savior. I believe that keeping her here and safe would be a way of luring him and the mint haired man to Magenta, so that we can have our revenge.”

Savior seemed to ponder. Slowly she ran her fingers through his hair, making a chill go down his spine. Please, don’t tug it again. _Shut up. Savior may do anything she wishes, stupid bug. You deserve anything she does to you._ Ray knew that. Such a selfish coward, trying to wish for Savior to treat him in certain ways. He did not know what he needed, but Savior did, at all times.

“Sometimes you truly do use this little head of yours, don’t you, Ray? Good boy” she walked back to her chair “Then I’ll put her under your responsibility. Let’s see how you’ll manage this. I’m trusting you”

Ray bowed.

“You may see her, if you wish. Transmit my orders to the believers in the basement.”

Ray bowed before leaving. As soon as the door closed, he rushed to the basement. He would finally see Myung Chae.

. . .

_Saeran had a special place in his mind. Whenever he needed to think or get away from things, he went to that place. It’s characteristics changed every time. In some days it would be a beautiful meadow filled with flowers, in others he pictures a deserted beach, or even that he was deep down into the sea; but one thing was constant: he could always see the sky and the clouds. Soon, going to his special place became an escape. If mother was yelling or Saeyoung was out, he took refuge there._

_“What are you thinking about so much?” Saeyoung asked one day while he washed the dishes. Saeran was sitting on the floor, near his brother’s feet._

_“I think I was in the special place again,” Saeran answered._

_“Awn, really? I wish I could go there with you” Saeyoung said “You know, it’s unfair that I can never see those nice places you imagine”_

_Saeran giggled. “I could draw them for you, one day. It would be nice”_

_“Totally nice!” Saeyoung exclaimed “Can you imagine that? Saeran Choi, most famous painter in the world. That would be cool” he crouched near Saeran “I could try to get some paper and pens for us to draw. What do you think of that?”_

_“But how? We don’t have money, hyung. Mom won’t buy it for us”_

_Saeyoung scoffed. “Who needs mom? I’m doing those small jobs for those shops nearby, delivering things and stuff. Soon we’ll have money for that” his brother smiled._

_Saeran loved it when Saeyoung smiled, but this made situations when his brother cried even worse. Saeran knew that whenever his brother cried, it was because things were truly bad. Saeyoung was the strong one, the brave one, so different from him. Sometimes, they would say that they were twins because they completed each other, but as much as Saeran liked that, he wished that he could be a little more like his twin._

_When Saeyoung cried, it was as if Saeran`s whole world crumbled, his life boat shattered and water began to drown him into the bottom of the ocean. If his brother cried, he knew that what had happened had been too much, that he had been too weak, too pathetic, too useless and Sayeoung had gotten in trouble for that. In those occasions, without noticing, Saeran became the one that tried to endure the pain and, even if he knew that Saeyoung could not accept that, the one who would take care of his brother. In those nights, Saeyoung was never excited about the special place. He was always serious, silent, introspective as if while he tried to comprehend what had happened, he looked deep inside himself for answers. In those nights, when the silent tears streamed down his brother’s face, transforming his embrace into a loving shield, Saeran took care of him._

_That night, they were quiet. Mother had passed out, her screeching voice still resonated in their minds, sending shivers down the boys spines. Saeran could not stop crying, even if she had, repeatedly, ordered him to do so. But Saeyoung knew how to calm his brother, he always knew. So they continued to hold each other close while Saeyoung stroked his brother’s hair, making circular shapes with his fingers. Saeran liked when he did that. He also liked cuddles and small kisses on the head._

_“Hyung” Saeran called, whispering with his weakened voice._

_“Shh, sleep, Saeran. She’ll hear you” Saeyoung whispered back. “Are you okay? I know it’s still hurting, but the pain will-” his brother's voice broke as tears fell from his eyes “You’ll be fine, okay? I won’t let her hurt you because you got sick ever again. I promise”_

_Saeran’s heart cracked with his brother’s voice._

_“Hyung, don’t cry. Please” he stroke his brother’s head “We can go to the special place”_

_“That’s in your head, Saeran” his brother answered, pulling their blanket so that it would properly cover them “I can’t go there and my special place is right here, with you”_

_Saeran held Saeyoung’s hand tight._

_“Please, hyung. It will help, just like the nice stories you always tell me. Please.” he pouted “Close your eyes, all right? I’ll guide you.” he took a deep breath, closing his eyes “Picture a beautiful bright blue sky, with the clouds so fluffy and doing their funny shapes like they always do. You are standing in a flower field, really colorful, and there are little bees flying around. Is it helping?”_

_Saeran felt his brother pull him closer, comforting him into a warm hug. Wet droplets fell over Saeran’s hair._

_“It’s helping a lot,” his brother answered. “I love you, Saeran. You know that right?”_

_“I love you too, Saeyoung”_

. . .

Myung stood up, crossing her arms and taking a deep breath. That was it, confrontation. Whoever was coming, that person would give her the answers she needed. The girl was shivering, holding back not to throw up. Be strong, she thought. Still, the idea of meeting one of her kidnappers was beyond frightening. When the realization hit her that she was about to confront a cult member, it felt as if a truck had just struck her head.

The steps drew closer and the person came into her vision. It was a male figure, wearing a formal attire underneath a magenta coat. When she locked eyes with him, ready to burst out talking before giving him a chance to speak she saw the saddest pair of mint eyes she had seen, partially covered by the white bangs. MC had seen him before, entering the apartment through the window, pulling her off the bed, cursing at Saeyoung. It was Saeran Choi. His demeanor was changed, she noticed, as if all the confidence he had showed in the apartment had slightly vanished.

“Hello, Myung Chae,” he greeted. His voice was low and his eyes were reluctant to meet her gaze. 

Ray felt ashamed. Deep down, all he wished for was to know if they had hurt her in any way, to make sure those believers would get the correct punishment for that, but he couldn’t. _She must be thinking so low of you._ Shut up. _Weakling._ Butterflies seemed to fly inside his belly, crawling their way up his throat.

“Saeran-” she began to say, being interrupted by him

“No” he raised one of his hands, shivering “I-I’m Ray, don’t…” _She is calling me. Are you scared, bug?_ “Please, d-don’t say this name”

MC stopped, looking deep into his eyes. Ray? That was not his name, but… What had they done to Saeran? Why was he calling himself Ray? He was different from when he broke into the apartment, very different. They did not even look like the same person.

“You kidnapped me” MC said, sharp, making him flinch.

“No, no… S-Savior is just…” Ray stumbled in his words. What was Savior doing? _Idiot._ “Savior is caring for you, y-yes. She is so g-good that… That she is protecting you”

It did not take long for MC to notice how easy it was to make him talk. As much as it pained her to see him like that, she needed those answers, she would have to play his game too.

“Really? Oh, I did not know that…” she took one step towards him, trying to seem interested “Well, it’s nice to see you again, Ray. I’ve been worried about you, did you know?”

 _Ugh, definitely a weakling like you._ Ray smiled, she was still so kind to him, even if he did not deserve any of that. Ray missed MC too, her kind words, her smile. He remembered it all, the only happiness he had as a child. All the other memories were- _Don’t think._ Ray was never supposed to remember. Savior warned him about the pain, the abandonment of his brother. _He hated you._ Ray was not supposed to think.

“Y-You were?” he asked, getting close to the cell.

“Yes, Ray… Me and Saeyo-”

_Shut up! Shut up! Make her shut up now!_

“Don’t talk about him!” he yelled, backing up a few steps “I-I’m sorry. J-just d-don’t… He is a traitor, he-” Ray took a deep breath, holding back the tears. _Pathetic._ “He is a terrible person, Myung. Poor you, being locked up in that apartment with him, being manipulated all this time by him and that horrible V. I-I’ll explain everything to you”

Saeyoung? A manipulator? Something did not sound right. Myung stepped closer, placing her hands in the metal bars. Someone had done something to Saeran, to his mind, convinced him to hate his brother. She was sure of that. Now, it was MC’s duty to find who had hurt him like that. She owed it to the little boy she had met crying on the statue’s feet.

“All right, Ray. It’s fine. I’ll listen to you. I can see that you truly worry about me” she tried to smile even if she knew that her eyes would remain sad.

“T-thank you,” he stuttered. “I knew that you would still be kind. I knew it!” 

Even if he was changed, she could still see the small boy she met in the park. His eyes, so sad, so scared of everything. MC had questions, he had some answers, but she needed to be calm, patient, not to hurt him and neither get hurt.

“So, Ray… You talked about a Savior,”

“Oh, yes! Yes! Savior is so kind and sweet, I’m sure you would love to meet her” he answered with excitement. 

“I really want to!” MC answered. She truly wished to meet this “savior” and give her a piece of her mind “Do you think you can arrange that, Ray?”

Ray stopped. _You can’t._ Ray couldn’t promise, but for sure Savior would be interested in MC. _Just a dumb weakling._ She needs Magenta, she is weak to live in the outside world. _She’ll be cleansed. It’s the rule._ Poor MC. _Stupid Ray._ He wished to protect her, save Myung Chae from her demise. He had made Savior more interested in her. Perhaps he could make Savior see how interesting MC truly was for them, prove to her that MC was worthy of Magenta. _If she discovers the secret, you’ll be punished._ It was worth the risk.

“I don’t know… I mean, you will meet her, I just don’t know when” he looked at her, inching a bit closer “I’m sorry about the place where they locked you. I hate to see you here in the basement and I swear that I’ll try to fix this” _You’ll probably fail, stupid bug._

“Thank you, Ray. You are very kind” she tried to smile again.

“Mr. Ray,” another believer called, walking towards them. The believer also had Mint Eyes and discolored hair, making MC wander if it was like a rite of passage. “We have an emergency in the information room, Savior is summoning you immediately”

Ray took a deep breath. _Time to work, filth._ He did not want- _Who cares about what you want? Go to work, work, work._

“I will be right there with you” he answered to the believer before turning back to MC “I’m sorry, but I must leave for now. I’ll try to make you as comfortable as possible and… I’ll talk to Savior. I promise.”

“Ray,” she held his hand before he could leave. A bolt of electricity ran up and down his arm. Her touch was gentle, kind, so different from S- _Don’t finish this sentence._ “Come back to talk to me when you can, please. Like I said, I worry about you”

Ray smiled. When was the last time he smiled? _Smiles are not for you, idiot._

“I’ll come back. I promise”

MC watched him go up the stairs. Dices were rolled, cards were set and facing down. It was time to play and her only option was to win, for if she did, it would mean to save both of her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely loooove Ray/Saeran and writting his internal dialogues are such a fun experience. From now on we'll be seeing more of Saeran's and MC's friendship.
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	17. The Game Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: there are mentions of child abuse

“Hello?” V answered the phone, putting the travel bag he was preparing aside. “Oh, Prime Minister, sir, I was not expecting your call… Oh, I see... Yes, I saw some missed calls on my phone earlier, please, send my deepest apologies for your secretary… Thank you… Today?... No, not a problem at all, it just caught me a little off guard… I understand… No, I would not like it to be a wasted trip… Not at all… Of course… It’s set then… It’s my honour, sir… Thank you, good bye”

V leaned against the counter, ruffling his hands in between his hair. That was not the right time for the Prime Minister to pay a visit.

. . .

_ The two boys walked back home. Feeling the energy drenched from his body, Saeran snuggled against his brother’s back, feeling Saeyoung’s firm grip on his legs. His brother seemed like a superhero to him, always so strong, and Saeran was just a weak figure that had to be protected, carried up and down because he could not walk that far. Saeyoung was awesome and the younger twin felt like a rock that was always in the way. _

_ That afternoon had been amazing in the boy’s eyes. Going to the park, meeting MC. She was his first friend besides his brother, he realized. Never in his life had he laughed or played so much. Everything seemed easier without mother near them. Even if he was scared of the amount of people and the noise disturbed him the most, he was with hyung and that meant that he was safe. _

_ “Hyung,” he called. _

_ “Yeah?” Saeyoung answered “What’s wrong, Saeran? Are you alright?” _

_ “I am, it’s just…” he stopped to think about what he was about to say “Earlier, MC asked how you’ve hurt your head and you lied to her. You told her that you hit it while playing” _

_ Saeyoung was quiet, brushing his thumb on his brother’s leg and shifting his weight over his back.  _

_ “Did you lie because it’s dangerous for her to know us?” Saeran asked. _

_ The boys rarely talked about their father, but sometimes they had to. Saeran was always afraid. Even if Saeyoung was so brave, his brother went outside too much. Whenever he delayed, Saeran shivered in fear that their father had caught him. But Saeyoung was really clever, the bad guys did not stand a chance against him. _

_ “Yes, Saeran. It’s dangerous. It was nice playing with her and all, but… It was wrong. I should have taken you back home after finding you.” _

_ “This lie is just like when mom beats you and you tell me that it did not hurt, isn’t it?” Saeran asked “It’s because we don’t want to make Myung sad or make her get hurt because of us.” _

_ Saeyoung was quiet again.  _

_ “Yes,” he answered “It’s exactly that. She is our friend and we need to protect her, ok? So we won’t talk about her ever again” _

_ Saeran nodded. He wanted to talk about Myung Chae and that afternoon, but he knew he couldn’t. Mom could never know about what they had done.  _

_ Upon reaching the house, he hugged Saeyoung’s neck tighter. He did not want to go in. His brother took him off his back, holding his hand tight before opening the door. They were relieved when they listened to mother’s soft snores.  _

_ “Now, Saeran. You need to go back into the cabinet” Saeyoung said, quickly adding when he saw his brother whimper “It won’t take long before she wakes up, and I’ll stay right here, talking to you until she does. You’ll be out soon, I promise” _

_ Saeran hated being stuck inside of the cabinets, but Saeyoung made it easier to endure. As his brother turned the lock and the darkness filled the cabinet once more, Saeran pictured them playing with MC as she taught them those funny games, all embedded in the song Saeyoung was singing to him. Soon, his imagination was cut short by the sound of their mother’s voice calling for Saeyoung, scolding him for being in the kitchen singing and not sitting quietly in their corner where he should be. It did not take long for her to open the cabinet, ordering Saeran to go and stay with his brother. Saeyoung was right about that. But they had not anticipated that she would tie them to the water pipe. Still, even if the rope scratched their ankles, they did not care so much. They were together. That was the most important part. _

. . .

Ray opened his eyes. He had dozed off, just a few minutes of sleep and those demons were already crawling back to him, hurting him, torturing that pathetic excuse of life he was.  _ Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic.  _ He sat up, rubbing his eyes and face. He could not sleep, it was his duty to  _ work, before Savior comes for you.  _ The redhead was giving him trouble, trying to block his attacks. He had to be slow, patient.  _ Work faster. _ Do his job right and carefully.  _ Never good enough.  _

A knock on his door made him stand up, startled by the noise. The room was dark, as there were no windows in it and the light in the ceiling usually gave him a headache.  _ Complaining, complaining, complaining.  _ Never. He deserved a bedroom like that.  _ Worthless. _

“Come in,” he said. 

When the door opened, Savior came in. She was always accompanied by two believers, for safety.  _ Show respect, bug. _ Ray bowed to her, keeping his head low until she spoke. It had always been a habit of his to avert people’s gaze, even when he was a child.  _ Stop remembering, focus on Savior.  _

“For paradise,” he greeted.

“For paradise,” Savior answered. “Thank you for mending all the errors in the information team program, Ray. I’m sure that it will work perfectly this time, won’t it?”

“Yes, my Savior.” Ray answered.  _ Tell her what you’ve done, show her how good you’ve been so that you can see Myung Chae.  _ “I have begun to observe the movement of the RFA members, my Savior. I gave the information team enough instructions so that they can keep watch on them through the hacked CCTVs and I’d expect that soon-”

“Why was I not informed about such a thing?”

_ She is not pleased.  _ Savior’s expressions were hard to read.  _ Because you are dumb.  _ Just one look from her was able to send numerous shivers down his spine.

“I-I thought that it s-sounded like a good-”

“Poor child,” Savior said, taking his hands in hers. “I understand you, Ray. You just wished to be useful didn’t you? Do not worry, I shall forgive you this time; but remember: changes in the projects must go through me first.” she said “Do you understand?”

“Y-yes, my Savior”

“Good. You seem to be doing well,” Savior said, pleased. “How is our guest doing?”

Ray took a deep breath, once more averting his gaze.  _ Answer her.  _ He couldn’t think. Ray was lucky that Savior was patient, because it was not easy to deal with a  _ bug _ like him.

“She is fine, my Savior, and eager to meet you, in fact. I-I was wondering if the basement was truly the best place for us to keep her”

“Ray…”

“I am aware that it is the place for the non-believers”  _ you interrupted Savior, bug! What are you doing?  _ “But she is very interested on the Mint Eye and maybe she will be much more valuable to us if she converts and stays in better accommodations”

“Ray” Her sharp tone made him stop. “You are very full of ideas today, my child. Hadn’t we discussed that those were not good for you?”

Ray kept in silence.  _ You’ll get punished, idiot. You’ll get punished again and again and again. Will you be cleansed again? Two in a row will be a charm. _ He kneeled.

“I’m sorry, my Savior” his lips trembled with her silence. Slowly, her fingers tangled in his white hair and with them came the sharp tug, followed by her loving and soft strokes.

“You are forgiven. Poor child, you must be tired after the cleansing and having to deal with the girl in the basement. Rest a bit tonight, my child. A good night of sleep will be good for you.” her hand went down his chin, making him look at her “About the girl… We’ll see if her interest in our cause is as great as you say. Remember to feed her before going to bed.”

Ray nodded. Savior was so kind, worrying about him like that.  _ You deserved a greater punishment for having interrupted Savior. Stupid Ray.  _ Still, he thought about MC. Poor and kind MC, should be so scared in that cold cell, that horrible-  _ If you call paradise horrible, you should be punished.  _ That eerie place. Ray understood the importance of the basement, but MC was already so brave, so sweet to be locked down there with paradise over her head.  _ Weak. _ If he could make Savior see it, for sure she would notice how MC was ready for their beautiful paradise.

“My Savior… The girl that is being held prisoner, she truly sounds interested in us. She even requested to meet with you” he raised his eyes towards her. Savior seemed to stare deep into his soul before flashing him with a soft smile.

“Good night, my child”

“For paradise” he said, lowering his head once more.

“For paradise,” Savior answered, leaving the room.

. . .

Vanderwood dropped the pizza box in front of Seven without much ceremony. He was tired, hungry and sharing a small apartment with the kid was getting on his nerves. The boy seemed unable to comprehend what a trash can was and that made Vanderwood swear that if he found another Phd. Pepper can on the floor, he would throw it on Seven and force him to eat it. The ginger agent was not thrilled to find out if that threat was true.

“Thank you, madam,” Seven chanted, taking one cheesy slice from the box.

“Use a freaking napkin! You’ll get sauce all over your keyboard” the older agent sighed “God, you keep behaving like an annoying fourteen year old.

“I do my best,” Seven laughed before being slapped on the back of the head.

Vanderwood rolled his eyes, facing back his own computer. Even if the boy tried to act normal, it was clear that he was all over the place. There was a hacker apparently attacking the server of that weird charity group Seven was part of, and Vanderwood could not understand why the hell someone would do that. It was just a charity. But what worried him the most was that girl. Myung Chae was her name, he had learned. in their line of work, having contact with other people was dangerous, something that he had warned Seven about again and again.

“Who is she?” Vanderwood asked, looking into Seven’s golden eyes. “Come on, kid. Now I’m in too deep, just tell me. Are you dating this girl or what? Who the hell are those Mint Eye guys?”

Seven took a deep breath, the codes displayed in the computer screen reflected on his glasses.

“I guess we are dating, or at least we were starting to.” he looked at Vanderwood “She was my friend, above all. We met when we were kids, me and my brother. I have a twin, by the way. He answers by the name Saeran. But a lot of mess happened and now… We are here”

“And this a lot of mess is…?”

“I had to enter the agency to protect him from bad people that were after us and trusted the wrong people to take care of him while I was gone. So basically he was kidnapped by a cult, Mint Eye, and they are the guys that kidnapped MC. They have a grudge against the RFA, it seems.”

Vanderwood kept quiet, staring at the young man in front of him. 

“Holy crap, kid. And I thought that my life was complicated.”

“You could tell me about it” Seven grinned, his crooked smile annoying Vanderwood more than ever. “You know, we are having this special moment, bonding and everything....”

“Nope” Vanderwood answered.

“Why?” Seven exclaimed

“Because my life is way too complicated” he stared at the Kid, letting out a sigh. “I’m not getting on details, alright? Remember what I told you about my father?” Saeyoung nodded “Well, since the guy was always crazy and my mother did not care about anything he did to me, I ran away from home really early. From then, one thing led to another. First I was stealing, then some guys paid me to make deliveries for them. You know, it began with stolen goods, then some drugs, then weapons. Soon, I was working with smugglers and some other big guys in the crime world. That’s a line of work where you do not have a retirement plan that does not involve a coffin. At one point, I ran away and found the agency. The end.”

He turned his gaze back to his computer, but Seven kept looking at him, staring.

“What?” Vanderwood voiced.

"What is the something you are trying to protect?"

"It used to be my life... Then it changed"

"To what?"

"Doesn't matter" Vanderwood answered. "What's that stupid look on your face?"

“Nothing” Seven answered, turning back to his computer too. “I just never pictured you like that. It’s weird to know people without really knowing them. Thank you for sharing” he smiled at his partner.

Vanderwood rolled his eyes. Stupid kid.

. . .

_ Saeyoung hardly ever cried. For as long as he could remember, he had had to be strong. Tough. Keep his head up no matter what because no one would care for him and Saeran. He did it for his brother. He smiled for his brother, even in the darkest times, even when all he wanted to do was disappear. It had always been for his brother. But Saeran was not there with him anymore.  _

_ He curled up on the closet, allowing the tears to flow down his face, just for a bit. Deep in his heart, he wanted to go back home, face the beating his mother should be keeping just for him and hug his brother, promising to never leave him again. But he couldn’t. To stay in the agency was the only way for him to make money and save both of them. He was keeping Saeran safe. He was protecting Saeran from far away so that maybe one day he could see his twin once more. _

_ Suddenly, the closet door opened, revealing a young man, about twenty years old, with brown hair that fell over his shoulders. He looked at the boy. _

_ “So, there you are. I was looking for you” _

_ “Fuck off” Saeyoung voiced “Go away” _

_ “What the hell, kid. Calm down” Vanderwood said, leaning on the doorframe. He watched the boy wipe his tears in silence “They are giving you a hard time, aren’t they?” _

_ The boy didn’t answer. He looked to the other side, waiting for the older one to leave. Vanderwood stood still and after a few minutes of analysing the child, he stepped into the closet, closing the door behind him. _

_ “What now?” he asked, sitting by Saeyoung’s side “Am I supposed to give you a motivational speech, hug you and tell you that everything will be fine? Because I really don’t do that” _

_ “I told you to fuck off” Saeyoung answered. _

_ “I will” the older one said “Just a minute. They called you 707, right?” _

_ “Yes, because if someone as young as me is as good at hacking, it must be an error. Very funny” Saeyoung was not up for talking or joking. He had to be nice, sweet and funny to three people in his life: V-hyung, Rika-noona and Saeran. Vanderwood was neither of them. He was just a jerk from the agency, like all the other jerks that Saeyoung hated and that seemed to have fun at bullying him so much. _

_ “Look, kid, I will be very forward to you. Life is fucked up. Do you get that?” he looked at the boy’s scared golden eyes, staring back at him. He felt bad for the kid, but he had to be tough, the boy had to toughen up “If you are going to get all sad and weepy because of their stupid jokes, you might as well march right out of here and go back to wherever you came from. We don’t have friends here, we don’t have family, we get the job and we do it, and we better do it right. Do you know why? Because we don’t have a choice. If you ended up here, there are two things that are absolutely true about you: you have something very precious that you need to keep and you don’t have anywhere else to go. You’ve hit rock bottom. Am I not right?” _

_ Saeyoung swallowed silently. Vanderwood had barely talked to him since he arrived. He had heard other people talking about him and no one seemed to like him very much. The older agent was not the talkative type. Saeyoung had never seen him talking to anyone except for workstuff. People said that it was because he was square and had a serious face. People said he was just a jerk. He disagreed. He thought he was cool. When he looked deep on Vanderwood’s eyes, he saw sadness and fear that only someone who’s been through the worse could recognize. Saeyoung didn’t want to, but he knew that Vanderwood was right while saying all that to him. _

_ “I have to protect my-” _

_ “Don't,” Vanderwood said, unconsciously softening his tone “Don’t tell me. Never tell anyone, especially here, about who is important to you. If one day the boss decides to get back on you or if you fail very badly on one job, they will try to find more about you and use the ‘precious thing’ against you. So never tell anyone about you, not even me. Especially me. Because if this day comes, the day when the boss tells me to spill out everything I know about you, I will say it, because I too have a ‘precious thing’ to protect.” he looked straight into the boy “And I really, really don’t want to be the one to hurt you like that.” _

_ Saeyoung winced. He had never thought about things like that. He had never thought people like that existed. One part of him was angry at Vanderwood for saying that, the other was just thankful to be having that conversation with someone instead of sulking in the closet alone.  _

_ “Why… Why were you looking for me?” he asked. _

_ “Your results came in. The boss is very surprised by your IQ and multiple intelligence tests, so he asked me to train you” _

_ “Me?”  _

_ Saeyoung had heard stories about Vanderwood in the few weeks that he had spent there. They said that the agent was very skilled, one of the best, but people were never trained by him because he had had an incident with the last person he had trained. Saeyoung did not know what had happened, but his imagination had taken the responsibility of frightening him enough so that he wouldn’t ask. According to his calculations, Vanderwood should be seven or eight years older than him, and they said that he had joined the organization four years before.  _

_ “Yes, you” Vanderwood answered “You are going to college also. Literally. They want you to really study with this genius brain of yours.” Saeyoung did not express reactions. He was in shock “Come on, get a grip. Let’s get out, it’s freaking hot in here” Saeyoung got up, partially laughing at the older guy’s urge to leave. As they stepped outside, he continued “I have rules. If you follow them, we will be just fine: follow my orders and don’t be annoying. Can you do that?” _

_ Saeyoung nodded. He felt a wave of electricity go through his body. He did not understand what it was or where it came from, but for the first time in weeks he had hope that things would get at least bearable. _

_ Vanderwood walked out of the boy’s bedroom, closing the door. He had heard the others laughing about the fact that the kid was crying in his bedroom. It wasn’t very hard to find him after that. He took one flash drive out of his pocket. It was a fucked up world out there. People were mean and would never give a shit about you. If he proceeded and got back on the guys that were constantly picking on the kid, it wouldn’t make a difference. He could even get in trouble for that. But he remembered when he was the one who had just arrived. He remembered being alone. The kid would not even know about that. It would be just that one time. It was not like they would work together for that long. In fact, he had to protect the little genius for the boss, so he considered that it would be very wise to start doing that really fast. On the way to his own room to fetch his computer, he smirked, looking back at the boy’s door. He was a good kid, Vanderwood could feel that. For sure he would not cause him any trouble. _

. . .

MC sat on the cold stone floor, drawing on the ground with a small gravel she had found. Whenever MC felt that she had to think, she would draw. Any kind of small drabble would make the trick, give part of her mind something to focus on while the other figured out whatever she needed. That time, she was drawing a cat that she assumed could only be Elizabeth the 3rd. Her heart was hurt for seeing Saeran in that way, so sad, so scared. Especially the way he talked about his brother, first in the apartment and then a few hours before. It all seemed wrong, as if the twins were two parts of a puzzle whose pieces did not match.

“MC?” 

She lifted her head, looking at Ray that stood shyly a few steps away from the cell. 

“Good evening, Ray” she smiled, standing up. “Thank you for coming to see me again.”

He also smiled at her words. 

“Oh, I’m sorry for taking so long. I imagine how terrible it must have been for you to stay all alone in here” Ray enjoyed being able to talk to her.  _ What are you doing, idiot?  _ But it pained him to see her locked up like that. 

“I kept myself busy,” she glanced at the drawing. “But how are you, Ray? Are you alright?”

Ray nodded. “Yes. Savior takes good care of everyone here, so it is impossible to not be fine” Ray was fine, that was true.  _ It better be. _ It was. 

“I’m glad to hear that” she smiled again, but her heart was unsettled. He did not seem fine, too thin and pale for someone healthy. What had they done to her friend?

“I brought things for you,” Ray said, unlocking the cell door for a bit and giving her some blankets and a small bowl that contained rice, meat and vegetables inside. “I-I tried talking to Savior. I’m s-sorry, Myung. I tried telling her how interested you are in the Mint Eye, how much you wanted to meet her, b-but”  _ are you doubting Savior’s decision, bug?  _ “She believes that we must wait for a bit.”

MC held the things he gave her. Both blankets were folded with care and her dinner smelled good. She could feel how much effort he was putting on that, how much energy he wasted trying to follow this crazy Savior.

“Thank you for the help, Ray. Really” she placed the items in a corner on the floor, taking his hands in hers. “You are very kind, remember that, ok?” It felt like the right thing to say, something that he needed to hear.

He smiled again.  _ Kind. Another word for weak.  _ It had been so long since he had smiled.

“Thank you, MC” he blushed. “I’m sorry for being brief, but I must go back. I’m sorry”

“It’s fine, Ray. You don’t need to apologize for that.” she said, watching him lock the door again. “Just promise me that you’ll come back to talk to me, alright?”

“I promise,” he answered.

. . .

Jumin looked through the many profiles assistant Kang had given him. She had done a meticulous job so far, truly selecting the very best employees to be part of the task-force.

“I have reached out for some of the employees already and they have provided us with information about other C&R personnel that excels in informatics. I believe that until tomorrow we shall be able to have a complete team and begin our activities by afternoon”

“Thank you, assistant Kang” he said, giving her back the folder and standing up “Now, we should head home and rest well. Tomorrow shall be a busy day”

“Of course, sir” she said “I will continue research and tomorrow-”

“No, assistant Kang, I truly mean it.” he said “Rest. Watch Zen’s musicals at your heart’s content. The following days will be terribly busy until we manage to rescue MC and Saeyoung’s brother. Please, take the night off your duties”

Jaehee froze in wonderment, unable to pinpoint if her boss had finally met an outburst of insanity.

“T-thank you, sir. That was… unexpected” she said with a bow.

As Jaehee headed home, she figured that the situation was serious, truly serious. Perhaps that would be the calm before the storm.

. . .

“Don’t you have any food?” Yoosung asked, looking around in Zen’s fridge.

“I have food!” Zen answered, pulling the boy back and opening the freezer. “See? Rice cakes, dumplins, fried chicken, I have food”

“It’s all frozen!” Yoosung complained, taking the packages and putting them on the counter “Hyung, you need to eat fresh food too”

Zen rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his beer can. Weird kid, running around his kitchen complaining about cooking. Deep down, Zen truly enjoyed Yoosung’s company. He was a good kid.

. . .

_ The only time V had ever dealt directly with the prime minister's actions happened in a regular afternoon, when he went to church to pick up Rika as she had spent the day helping the nuns with their chores. He was waiting for her in the street, leaning against his car when he saw a familiar redhead running towards him on the sidewalk. As soon as his eyes met the boy’s figure, he knew that something was wrong. He was covered in dark spots and bruises, a cut on his head was bleeding, creating a trail that went down his neck. Before he could react, the boy wrapped his arms around him, crying and shivering desperately. _

_ “Saeyoung, what-” he hugged the child back, all his thoughts running at a thousand miles per hour, trying to figure what their mother could have possibly done and what had happened to the boy’s younger brother. _

_ “The policemen are after me. They want to take me to him. Please, please” the boy sobbed, pleading him “Don’t let them take me, please. They are helping my father, I know they are.” _

_ “Get in the car, now” V said, opening the door and helping the child to sit on the vehicle’s floor, covering him with his jacket “Are they still after you?” _

_ The boy nodded and V closed the door, looking around for any sign of the police force coming their way. It did not take long for them to approach him, asking about a ginger child. _

_ “He robbed a shop nearby and the owner has hurt him.” the policeman said “We are trying to find the boy to contact his parents” _

_ V shook his head. “I’m sorry, I did not see anyone that matches this description” _

_ After they turned around the corner, V waited for a bit before letting the boy out of the car. Saeyoung immediately hugged his waist, something that he did not make any effort to stop. Carefully, always keeping one hand wrapped around the boy, he took his jacket, throwing it over the child’s head, and took him inside the church. He sat with him on a couch in the administrative area, calling for Rika’s help on his way. Soon enough, his girlfriend was cleaning the boy’s bruises while he held the child tight. _

_ “Was it true what they said about the shop?” V asked. _

_ “No” he murmured “They saw me walking on the street and began dragging me inside their car. I tried to run and they beated me up like this. If I hadn’t managed to escape, I would have been dead. He would have killed me” the child cried once more. _

_ “Shh, sweetheart” Rika stroked his hair “You are safe now, all right? We are never letting those horrible people near you and Saeran” _

_ “But how, noona? If hyung was not outside, I would have been kidnapped by them” _

_ “But he was there, wasn’t he?” she cupped his cheeks with her hands. “You will always be safe with us, Saeyoung. If anything bad happens, come to church and talk to the priest. He will reach out for us if we are not here and we will come for you. We always will” _

. . .

“Are you sure that I can see your undisclosed collection?” the Prime Minister asked, taking a look around the room.

“Please, take your time.” V said, gesturing invitingly towards the room covered in photographs.

“You feel different now, much warmer than when we had our first meeting.” the Prime Minister smiled “I believe that being in your comfort zone truly makes a difference, doesn’t it? I’ve read much about the connection between artists and their comfort zones.”

V did not take his eyes off the politician, watching closely as he observed the picture of a flower. He would not trust that man even for a second, not after everything the twins went through.

“I appreciate your compliments…” V had to act naturally, but how natural could he trully act when facing the man that tried to murder his own children? “I have never seen myself as an artist, though. I feel that I’m not accomplished enough”

“You’ve accomplished even more than enough, young man” he chuckled “Your works are praised as masterpieces. You’ve got the talents of an artist, perhaps an inheritance from your mother”

The photographer froze, something the Prime Minister did not seem to notice as he had moved to look at a picture of a forest. V knew that his mother had fame up to the present day, but that was such a specific commentary to be made, especially coming from that man.

“Do you know my mother?” he asked.

_ Business is all about how you behave, the image that the other part creates of you, Jihyun, _ his father used to say. That situation was not much different from business itself. The Prime Minister of all people had approached him because he was interested in something. V’s intuition made it harder for him to believe that it was nothing but a coincidence that the politician had fallen mesmerized by the pictures of the man that was his sons’ legal guardian. 

“I do know that she was a world-renowned violinist.” he answered, turning to face him “I am sorry about her death, I must say”

“Thank you. After her passing, I earned my life as a photographer, so I believe that this career was my destiny”

“I hope you will carry on with your career with excellence” the politician said, taking a look at a picture of a yellow daffodil “Now, I am curious. You’ve said that this is your atelier, but it also looks like your residence.”

“It is…” 

“Do you live alone? A young man like you?”

Personal questions, those were a signal of something bad coming his way.

“I used to live with my fiancée, but not anymore, sir.”

“Is that woman Rika, by any chance?”

A bitter taste filled V’s mouth. How could he know about her? What else did that man know?

“The death of the founder of the RFA has come to my attention, I am terribly sorry for your loss” the politician pointed out, stopping near a picture of an eerie field.

“How much do you know about me?” V asked, staring the man deep in the eyes “It appears that you’ve done a considerate research and I’m sure that you can collect a vast amount of information as a governmental official”

“I hope I have not scared you. I am particularly interested in arts and in this incredible organization you helped to found, the RFA.” he said, turning back to look at another photograph “But borrow the power of the governmental body? I cannot do such a thing for my personal interests”

“I’m sure you cannot” V answered, that bitter taste flooding his mouth once more.

“Now, I must admit that I admire the association you take care of, the RFA. You are truly useful to various places and people that need help in our society. I just don’t understand why you would keep your members a secret.”

There it was. The real interest behind the two meetings they had. RFA. The members. Saeyoung. V took a deep breath, keeping himself serene. It’s all business.

“If the association becomes public enough, they will be burdened with various duties. I keep them as a secret in order to protect their personal lives.”

“The government awards groups of people that do good for the society and RFA happens to be in the list of to-reward for commendation.'' He looked at a picture of a Lily of the valley, so small near the others. That was the only picture in the room that was not taken by V. “I don’t think that is much surprising, especially having in mind the history of good-deeds your fiancée has, ever since she made charity at the church you attend to.”

The church where they took care of the twins.

“I’m sorry, but to what extent do you know about us?” V asked, trying to keep a relaxed tone to his voice.

“Not much. In your case… It was easy to find information about your parents as well, since the three of you are or were in the artistic business. Also there was no way for me to be unaware of Jumin Han, the director of C&R and his chief assistant, Jaehee Kang. “ he took a deep breath, looking at V “For the rest, I’m afraid I do not know much. There is a blonde boy and a musical actor… I do not remember their names.” the politician took a deep breath, taking a wondering look around “Are they all? I feel like I am forgetting someone” he chuckled “Is there anyone missing?”’

“We do have a new member, but she is still in trial. We’ll see if she is truly interested on joining us”

“Oh, I see” his smile became wider, more threatening than before, but V could not say if it was threatening as a characteristic or just because he knew the truth “Is there no one else? I thought that there was one more. Or even two-”

One. Saeyoung. Two. Saeran.

“No” V answered, cutting the conversation short “There is no one else.”

“Are you sure?” the Prime Minister insisted “I truly wish to mark everyone’s name right in the commendation trophy, so please…”

“I am sure. I do remember very well of every single one of my members, sir” his tone was sharp, much sharper than he wished for it to be. “I’ll ask everyone if they are interested in commendation and get back to you”

“Also, could you tell me if there is anyone that left the organization? It doesn’t matter if they are not related to it anymore” he placed one hand on V’s shoulder “This is a golden opportunity to become the pride of the nation. Please, think about it.”

V took a deep breath, looking deep in the politician’s eyes.

“Very well,  _ sir _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, boy, I hate the Prime Minister.
> 
> I'll quote something my friends said about this guy and that's just brilliant (translating it from portuguese because we are all esl here)  
> THIS GUY HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO? GO TAKE CARE OF THE COUNTRY. 
> 
> ANYWAYS
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love it!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	18. Yellow roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm here just to leave you some friendly warnings!
> 
> First of all, let me point out that the first scene of the fic is intense since it depicts Saeran having a panic attack because of nightmares, so it it triggers you just skip that bit and star to read right bellow the first tripple dots (. . .)  
> Now, it's already in the tags but it's always better to say: there are references of chil abuse due to the twins past.

Saeran woke up crying in the middle of the night. The hands of that horrible woman seemed to crawl up his neck and inside his mind, tugging his hair in an endless spiral of fear and despair.  _ Bug.  _ He sat up, hiding his face on his hands, sobbing desperately as her screams still ringed in his ears.  _ Good-for-nothing, Saeran Choi. _ Crying, the young man felt desperate, pain lodged somewhere in his body, the result of the endless beatings that continued to haunt his dreams.  _ Shut up.  _ Always alone, always scared, always tied to that terrible water pipe, unable to run away or hide from her.  _ Useless.  _ He cried just like he did when he was a child. Horrible woman.  _ Stupid child.  _

_ “How can you be so stupid?”  _

_ He flinched, crying as mother went through the groceries he had bought.  _

_ “Where is the beer I told you to buy, Saeran? Where is it?” _

_ He cried harder. The boy was not good at that. Saeyoung was the one that had always been in charge of the errands, but it had already been six months that he was gone. Six long and terrible months. Sometimes he bought the wrong things, most times mother beat him up for that. _

_ “T-there was n-none of the b-brand you t-told me to b-buy” he sobbed _

_ “Come here,” she pulled him by his arm, shoving him inside the kitchen cabinet and locking the door. “Moron. Stupid moron, that’s what you are. Your brother was an idiot, but nothing compared to you.” she kept on scolding him, even if the boy could only hear her furios voice “That’s why he left. He was fucking tired of you and this shit you keep on pulling. Now I have to go out and solve this crap.” she kicked the cabinet door, making him shriek “and what’s wrong with you that you cannot even talk right? You can forget about those strolls on the church with that stupid couple for this week. This church crap is making you even more retarded than before. I’ll deal with you when I come back.” _

Her slurs. Her unstoppable anger, always directed towards him.  _ You deserve to suffer, weak bug. _ Ray remembered it all. That monster.  _ Weak. _ The horrendous mother he had. And the horrendous brother that abandoned him with her.  _ Traitor, traitor, traitor. _

Ray’s shirt was drenched in sweat, sticking to his body as he tried to find a better position in bed. He needed to breathe, breathe, breathe.  _ You should work.  _ That stupid body of his.  _ Weak.  _ Too thin, too pale, too dumb.  _ Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. _

He stumbled out of bed, almost falling because of his  _ weak, stupid, filthy body.  _ With much effort, he reached the shower, stripping from his clothes and allowing the cold water to fall over him, startling his body and forcing it to wake up.  _ Not that woman, not her, not her.  _ Ray dropped himself on the shower floor, sobbing desperately, those visions of the past that still haunted him at every hour, the ghosts that would never leave his side nor rest.  _ Your faith is weak, that’s why. Forget her, forget the past, forget the hypocrite, forget the traitor, traitor, traitor.  _

. . .

_ The first thing Saeran heard was the door opening. Right away, he got on his knees, trying to peek into the kitchen and see his brother. Ginger hair, oversized hoodie, fierce eyes. Yes. Saeyoung had arrived. Saeran smiled as he watched their mother take the bags out of his brother’s hands, muttering something about him taking too long. Up to that moment, Saeran had been terrified with his brother’s absence, but that was past. Saeyoung had finally arrived, that was everything that mattered. _

_ “Take whatever’s left on the pan for you and Saeran” their mother said to Saeyoung “And make him shut up, he was being annoying and crying before” _

_ “Y-yes, mom”  _

_ He had disturbed mom when he saw a small rat near the bathroom door and now his brother would have to worry about him too. For one moment, Saeran felt that he would cry again, for being such a nuisance for everyone around him, but before he could do so, Saeyoung was hugging him tight and smiling as bright as ever.  _

_ “You’re back, you’re back” Saeran cheered, wrapping his arms around his brother. _

_ “Of course I am!” Saeyoung giggled, crossing his legs and sitting in front of Saeran. “All right, Saeran. Look at this” he showed the closed pan to him, placing it on the floor in between them “Now, do you know what’s in here?” _

_ Saeran shook his head. He had heard mother cooking earlier and felt the perfume of food fill the house, but he did not manage to get a glimpse of what it was. _

_ “Let me take a little peek” Saeyoung leaned forward and, without letting his brother see it, lifted the lid, just enough for him to take a look on the content. “Wow!” he exclaimed, putting on a surprised face. _

_ “What?” Saeran asked. _

_ “Well, that’s a tricky situation, Saeran. This looks like a food made with the finest ingredients found in the Venetian cuisine” _

_ “The what?” Saeran leaned his head to the side, wondering if his brother had finally gone insane. _

_ “Venetian cuisine. The foods they do in Venice, the capital of Venus” Saeyoung smugly said, opening up a wide smile.  _

_ “That doesn’t sound right. Isn’t that the city with the boats and stuff? The one we saw in the book you brought home that time?” Saeran pointed out. _

_ “Yeah, and it’s on Venus!” Saeyoung asserted. “Look, I’m right. So, are you ready to try this exquisite dish?” _

_ Saeran giggled and nodded. He was starving. He was ready to try any food. And even if his silly brother was making up some weird story about the food, he would not point it out. He knew how much Saeyoung had fun making up those stories and theories and if there was one thing that made Saeran happy, was to see his older twin smiling. _

_ “Okay, brace yourself” Saeyoung lifted the lid, simulating drum beats with his mouth. _

_ The boy’s smiled at the sight of noodles made with mushrooms and meat. In Saeran's eyes, it was a feast. While their mother’s loud TV show played in the back, Saeyoung split the content of the pan between their bowls. Saeran was eager to eat, his tummy seemed to twirl in excitement too.  _

_ “Do you know what I saw today?” he asked while handing Saeran the bowl “There was a couple breaking up just outside the store and I got to see everything while I was in line” _

_ “Aw, that’s sad” Saeran murmured, pouting. _

_ “Oh, no!” Saeyoung intervened “I mean, yes, it is, but… It was romantic too. I did not see how it began. The first thing I heard was this lady saying ‘Over? You’re saying it’s over? What about our future? Are you truly going to throw it all away?’ Then this guy that was with her answered ‘My love, you will always be the owner of my heart, but I must go. I have a duty with my career’. _

_ Saeran awed, scooching closer to his brother. Whenever he was truly entertained, the loud TV was not even disturbing anymore. He focused on his brother’s new adventure in the outside world. The younger boy loved listening to his brother’s stories, always daydreaming and wondering if things would be just like that when he got out of home the next time.  _

_ “Then, Saeran, she slapped him and yelled ‘Your career? Do you think that’s more valuable than us? Than what we have?’” Saeyoung was always committed with his stories, giving great importance to the voices of each character “After that, the man was quiet, and seeing that the woman was crying and hurt, he hugged her and - this part I could hear because I had already paid and got really close to them - said right in her ear ‘I love you more than anything in the world, but my job is much harder, much more dangerous than you can imagine. Leaving you is killing me each second that I won’t hold you in my arms, so if this moment is the last one, I’ll make it count, for you and me’. Then they kissed!” _

_ “That’s so cute!” Saeran exclaimed. _

_ “Saeran, shut up” their mother yelled from the kitchen. _

_ Saeran flitched and tears came to his eyes, but as he looked to Saeyoung, he saw his brother making faces as he mouthed their mother’s words and showing his tongue to her back. The younger boy giggled. _

_ “Shh” Saeyoung giggled back, pulling him into a hug. “I missed you, did you know that? And for the record, I think that’s cute too” _

_ Saeran snuggled in his brother’s hug. He liked so much to have Saeyoung close to him. That was something that would never change. Ever. _

. . .

MC had trouble sleeping that night. At the slightest of sounds she would open her eyes, checking the cell door to see if someone was getting inside. Myung had already cried three times that night, praying for someone to get her out of there. She had been listening to people talking and she could easily say that no one in that place seemed to be in a healthy state of mind. They seemed rude, even violent; their indifference for others was palpable, embedded in their words, their behavior. 

She tossed and turned as she laid on the floor, thanking Saeran for bringing her the blankets, otherwise her oversized hoodie and dress would not have been able to keep her warm. Saeran. Ray. Who was he? She knew part of the boy he had been, but how much had changed? She did not know. Who she saw in front of her eyes seemed an echo, a faded memory of the child she once met; still, his eyes remained the same, so sad, so scared. In her prayers, she added the wishes of saving the boy, taking him out of that terrible place and back to his brother. Back to Saeyoung. She missed him so much. Deep in her heart she knew that he would come for her, that he would do anything in his power to take her out of there, but still, she felt like a burden. A terrible burden to the man she loved. 

Unable to fall back asleep, she sat up. There were no windows or clocks in the dungeon she was locked in, so there was no way for her to know if it was already morning or if she had just napped for one hour. Nevertheless, MC was exhausted. She rubbed her eyes and took a sip from the water she was given hours before by one of the hooded believers. It tasted and looked like water, so she assumed that between drinking it and dehydration, the first was the best choice. While sitting, she fiddled with the star necklace that she always carried around her neck. It had been a gift from Areum when she was in the hospital, a protective star, she had said. Still, MC did not feel much protected at that moment. 

Since sleep seemed to have truly vanished, she decided that it was time to create her plan. Myung needed one for two reasons: the first one was so that she could do something, be active in that terrible situation. The second reason was simply to avoid freaking out. She leaned her back against the wall, replaying the last days in her mind. Replaying what she had seen of Saeran. First, in the apartment, he seemed more confident, more menacing. His eyes reflected a cruel grin, just as twisted as any intentions he had. Threatening, that was the word. Even violent, she assumed, based on how he dragged her and talked with his brother. So sure of himself, so fierce, yelling and giving orders to her, mocking her, saying those cruel things without a reason. Later on, she met Ray. Who the hell is Ray? His voice is always trembling, just as if it is so small that it was on the brink of disappearing completely. His eyes shivered as much as him, avoiding her, waiting to be judged. It was clear that he was so afraid of everything, looking as if he was about to have a breakdown. Sad, so sad. And still, naive? No. Not naive. He longed attention, longed care, he longed… human contact, perhaps. Saeran and Ray. Who were those, apparently, so different people that cohabited the same body? What had they done to her friend? Above all: how could MC solve that?

MC closed her eyes, leaning backwards to rest her head on the wall. She had to bring Saeran back to reality, take him far away from that terrible and illegal place. Saeyoung had told her that V and Rika had stayed responsible for him, but what had happened? How could they abandon him like that? Part of her wanted to honour the memory of a dead person and trust the kind mint-haired man, but something was wrong in that story. Sometimes she wondered if it was a lie. If Rika’s death had been nothing but a lie V told for the members and Yoosung was right all along, but that was insane. V had such kind mint-eyes. Mint-eyes. Mint Eye?

“Stop, Myung Chae. That’s insanity already.” she scolded herself, pinching her nose. “Get a grip, put your head into place and just solve for once how the hell you-”

She opened her eyes and there was a confused cult-person staring at her. A young woman with light hair and mint eyes. Apparently people did not talk to themselves in that place, but they did have matching looks.

“I… came to bring you more water?” the girl seemed lost “I can come back after you finish your meltdown”

“I’m fine, thanks” MC answered, watching the girl unlock the cell “Actually, I’m great. I’ve never been better. Your paradise is really something-”

“You’re bad at lying” the cult girl said, placing the bowl on the floor and locking the door once more “Good luck when you get to meet Savior” the girl scoffed, but stopped before going away “What is your name?”

“Myung” MC answered, rolling her eyes at that jerk.

“Don’t worry, Myung. I’m not someone that sees people talking to themselves and goes around telling people. Your secret is safe with me.” she smiled, almost entertained by MC’s situation “I understand that people have a moment of confusion before meeting Savior and being cleansed from the outside world.”

The girl walked away and MC swallowed. She was terrified of that place. Of those crazy people that kept walking in those dungeon corridors as if that was just another ordinary day. It was not regular, not… normal. Even if she hated speaking in those terms, everything in that terrible place seemed so far away from normality, and not in a good way. All those people had gone through something that made them stay there, talking similarly, looking similarly. MC needed answers and she needed them as fast as she could get them.

. . .

_ “Open up,” Areum giggled, looking at MC that was sitting on the side of the hospital bed. _

_ “You are the one that’s sick and I get a gift?” MC giggled. _

_ “You brought me new books, my gameboy and a lovely heart-shaped baloon. Come on, just open it” _

_ MC smiled, opening the small box her friend had just given her. Inside she found a necklace with a star shaped pendant.  _

_ “Areum, that’s gorgeous!” MC said, putting it on “Thonk you so much!” _

_ “It’s just a small trinket,” Areum smiled, taking her hand. “I know how bad things are right now and I want you to know that… When I’m not here anymore-” _

_ “Areum…” _

_ MC’s eyes were overflowed by tears, but Areum smiled, wiping them off. _

_ “When I’m not here anymore, you will still be protected by your little star. Because that’s you, MC. A little shooting star, bringing light to darkness. Remember that, ok?” _

_ “I don’t like it when you talk about when you won’t be here, unnie” _

_ “People die, MC. I made my peace with it. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” _

_ “Are you really going to Tolkien me right now?” MC asked. _

_ “That’s also true. I’m never truly leaving, Myung. I’ll always be watching over you” _

_ Areum hugged MC and the girls cried. They never knew when their last hug would come, so they had to make each one count. _

. . .

Ray walked down the stairs, bringing MC a bowl of cereal he had just prepared. And toast.  _ Did you take the fruits, idiot?  _ I don’t know if she likes them.  _ Fruits are healthy. She’ll end up dumb like you if she doesn’t eat them. _

After returning to the kitchen to pick up an apple, Ray walked down the basement stairs. He could never refrain from flinching at the sinister atmosphere, memories crawling up his neck and sending shivers down his spine.  _ Such a coward. _ A stupid coward, that was Ray. Scared of a place of purification, of punishment for those that had failed in their faith.  _ Unworthy.  _ It was almost insulting that he would think bad of a place Savior had built.  _ Idiot, Idiot, Idiot.  _ He would have to tell Savior about those thoughts.  _ You’ll be cleansed. _ He should not stray from the rightful path again.

“Myung?” he called, looking inside her cell and seeing the girl sitting against the wall. 

“Hi, Ray” she smiled, standing up. He loved seeing her smile, so kind, so sweet “I’m happy to see you. Did you sleep well?”

Ray winced, averting her gaze. “N-not really. I don’t enjoy sleeping. I have nightmares most part of the time so… It’s not good. Really isn’t.”  _ stop being pathetic in front of her.  _ He forced himself to smile. “But I brought you breakfast! Here…” he unlocked the cell door “I-I thought that you might be feeling trapped in here and maybe you’d like to take a walk in the garden. You could eat there, if you want.”

_ Pathetic.  _ He blushed. Such a stupid weakling, of course Myung Chae would refuse. 

“I’d love to, Ray. You’ll walk with me, right?” she asked.

“Yes” he smiled “I will. You are so kind, MC. Thank you for coming to the garden with me”

He gave her space so that she could exit the cell. Myung felt relieved to finally leave that place, even if just for a while. And she had the chance to finally talk to Ray, try to understand what was going through his head and, if she could, try to bring back some memories about the outside world.

“I’m sorry, Myung, but could you put this on? Savior is very strict about people from the outside seeing the interior of Magenta” he showed her a sleep mask.

Deep down, MC was completely opposed to being blindfolded, but she had no choice. That moment with Ray was a priority.

“Sure… But you’ll have to guide me very well, ok?” she began putting it on, trying to make a joke to soothe her anxious heart “I’m already good at falling all by myself, so make sure to take care of me when I can’t see anything”

She could hear Ray giggle softly. Saeran giggle softly? Her friend giggle softly. They locked arms and he gently guided her up the stairs, warning her about every step on their way up.

“So, a garden… You must like it a lot, since you love flowers” she mentioned.

“You remember that?” he asked.

“Of course I remember. I placed a little flower in your hair and you were so happy! How could I forget?”

_ Memories, memories, memories. Stop.  _

“I was afraid that you’d have forgotten about-”

“You? Never, Ray. I had a lot of fun that day and the two of you saved me. I was so scared”

_ Traitor, traitor, traitor.  _ It did hurt. She remembered him, that terrible  _ traitor.  _ Ray could not understand why that memory lingered with him, remembering what  _ traitor  _ had done to him, used him, abandoned him.

“I was very happy that day too” Ray answered.

Upon reaching the garden, he removed her blindfold. It took her eyes some time to get adapted to the sunlight before she could see all the colorful flowers that bloomed under the Sun. 

“Ray, that’s beautiful” she gasped.

“I’m happy you liked it” he smiled. “I love to come here. Unfortunately, it’s rare, since I need to work, but whenever I can I come here to think” he grabbed her hand “Follow me”

He led her towards a small fountain in the center of the garden. It was made in stone and decorates with small sculptures of flowers.

“Here. I think it will be comfortable for you to eat here” he scratched his neck.

_ If Savior finds out, you’ll be so screwed.  _ Savior for sure would comprehend that Ray was taking care of his friend and presenting her to Magenta.

“Have you already eaten?” she asked, taking the lid off the bowls he had brought her.

“Oh, no. I did not have the time. I’ll eat a chocolate in my lunch break, so you do not need to worry”

MC stopped, looking at him in the eye. She hoped to see him smile like his stupid brother and laugh at the joke, but he didn’t. Ray was being serious about that.

“Are you kidding me?” she asked “No. Don’t you dare. We’ll share this”

“What?”  _ what? _

Ray winced, looking at her determined expression, eyes locked in his leaving no room to escape. He did not deserve breakfast, nor breaks. He was doing what Savior ordered, he was being responsible for her and… she was taking care of him?

“Come on. Sit here with noona” she tapped the stone next to her.

Noona. He had called her noona when they were children. When she rescued and took care of him, giving him food and holding his hand until they found  _ traitor. Why are you remembering him? Stop. Stop. Stop.  _ Ray couldn’t control those memories. They were so vivid, wildly running inside his mind. With a smile, he sat down.  _ Don’t eat. Bugs don’t need good food. _

“Why don’t you take the cereal?” She handed him the bowl and the spoon. “And I’ll take the toast and the apple” MC smiled “Itadakimasu! Enjoy!”

“W-what?” he looked at her, puzzled.

“Sorry” she giggled. “My grandma used to say itadakimasu before we eat because of my mom, it’s just a habit. Sorry about that. It’s the japanese equivalent to Chal-mok-ke-seum-ni-da”

The white haired boy smiled at her. “Well, itadakimasu, noona”

Ray looked down at the bowl, his stomach growling. He was hungry, so hungry.  _ Weak. So weak.  _ But he had prepared that for her, it would not be right, he shouldn’t. Still, she gave it to him.  _ Pathetic.  _ It had been long since Ray received something from someone.  _ You receive so much from Savior everyday, idiot.  _ Savior was so kind to him. So kind. And MC was just like her. 

“Thank you” he said, dipping his spoon in the cereal and beginning to eat.

“So, Ray… Tell me, what is this place? I don’t know anything about you guys.” she said, taking one bite of the buttery toasts.

“Here is Magenta. It’s our paradise, a place for those like me that are deemed too weak for this world. People who are tired of the cruel reality that surrounds them in the outside world and come to us seeking happiness.”

MC was silent, absorbing each world. That was classical cult propaganda. A place to solve all your problems, to set you free. It was problematic, abusive, restraining those people from their freedom.

“But aren’t you curious about having a life outside?” she asked.

“No” he shook his head “Never. I was wounded and so weak when Savior brought me here. She was so merciful to a little weed like me, watering me and bathing me in nutrients until I could stand. I can never exist outside of Magenta since I’m too weak for that. Weak and dumb and… pathetic.”

She held his hand, startling him for a bit. 

“I don’t think you are any of those things.” she said. “I think you are so strong. Don’t say those terrible things about yourself”

How?  _ How? _ Everyone knew how weak Ray was, how  _ dumb, ugly, pathetic, useless _ he was. Her words made him stop. He could not picture an answer for that. Was she lying?  _ Of course she is. _

“I just keep thinking,” she continued “my college, my friends… I’d have to abandon everything in order to come and live here, if Savior allows me. Thinking about this is so weird.”

“It may be harsh at first, but this is the only place where you’ll be truly loved. People won’t ever leave your side no matter how useless you are”

The words stinged her chest, making her heart crumble. Those terrible words coming from someone that she cherished so much were able to crush her heart. She had heard enough about that. Savior. For sure she was eager to meet her, but it would take a while. MC had to be clever and patient, wait for the right moment and, at the same time, continue to investigate Ray.

“That’s really interesting, Ray. I hope I can meet your Savior soon!” she smiled “Now, let me ask you something. Why did you try to kidnap me, Ray? In the apartment, earlier this week.”

Ray froze, his spoon hovering over the bowl. Why had  _ he  _ done that? Why? Why?  _ Pathetic. Both of you.  _ He dropped to his knees. It had been a mistake. An offense to savior and… Myung Chae. He had tried to take her, he could have hurt her so much.  _ Idiot, Idiot, Idiot.  _ She had only been kind to him and he did not deserve that, any of that.  _ Ungrateful bug. _

“I’m sorry, noona. I’m sorry. I didn't mean to. It wasn’t me. It was, but it was not- It was not- Not me. I’m so sorry. So sorry” tears flooded his eyes as he began crying.  _ Pathetic. _

“No, sweetie” she kneeled at his side “Please, don’t… Don’t be like this. It’s fine. Everything is fine” gently, she stroked his back. “You can explain it to me whenever you feel comfortable to do so, ok?”

He nodded. 

“Ok. Let’s finish eating then. What do you say?” she smiled “Let me tell you a bit about my college, what do you think? It’s been ten years, we have a lot to talk about”

MC did not completely understand what was happening in that place. She had no idea of why they would be attacking the RFA or who was responsible for turning Saeran that way. Many fears afflicted her heart, but MC had a plan. She would show Ray that he had a life waiting for him outside of that place and there would be no Savior in the world able to stop her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love the idea of MC and Saeran becoming best friends and I'll keep working on it from now on. I have no idea of how many chapters this fic will end up having, but we'll take our time to build this story and, most of all, have fun.
> 
> Also, I absolutely adore writting Saeran and his internal conflicts/dialogues. Even if they are not the happiest thoughts or scenes, I have a blast really being able to get into this character's head and establishing how it works.
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love it!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	19. Infiltrated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions/references to child abuse

_V parked the car and unlocked the door. The feeling of the neighbourhood was eerie as always, the narrow streets, sometimes too narrow for his car, forced him to park farther away from the boy’s home. Doing so had never been a problem for him, in fact, it was already part of his routine while taking care of Saeran. Most times, Rika accompanied him there, but that had been one of the rare occasions when she could not be with him because of work. Saeran would be sad, they knew, but she would meet them at church later on. They had discussed the idea of picking him up only in the afternoon, but Saeran had cried a lot on the previous day before they dropped him back home, so it seemed to them that picking him early in the morning would be the best choice. Since V had dropped off from college to focus in his artistic career, he had a more malleable schedule._

_Slowly, he paced down the narrow street. The aspect of the houses varied. Some were well kept, clean, all of them, even the tiniest ones displayed a small front and backyard. Others seemed abandoned, broken, their decrepit aspect made him wonder if people truly lived there. Still, those were not much different than the tiny home where the twins grew up. Whenever V went there to pick up Saeran, he could not refrain from thinking about his own life, how he had been raised in a bubble, unaware of so much of the world. He was sure that the two boys knew so much more about life than he did._

_V opened the gate that closed the entrance to their front yard. The unkempt lawn made him wonder if anyone had ever taken care of it. Soon, he stopped on his track. There was yelling coming from the house and the crying of the child he knew so well._

_“No, no, no” he murmured, rushing towards the door. His hands were shivering as he knocked on the wood. It was early still, too early for that woman to be doing whatever she did to him._

_The red haired woman did not take long to open the door, her cold eyes flashed him with anger, so filled with hopelessness for the world. She seemed to be sober, he believed, but that had never meant that she would be less violent towards her children._

_“Good morning, Ms. Choi.” he greeted “I’m here to pick Saeran up, like we agreed”_

_“He is not going,” she answered. “He is just an idiot, stupid child. There is no way that he is going out today”_

_The twins mother was not a tall woman. She was thin and small, but solely her voice and eyes were enough to make V sure that she could truly hurt anyone that contradicted her. While she talked, V glanced inside the home, meeting with Saeran’s terrified golden eyes._

_“I see that he’s been disturbing you today, Ms. Choi” V answered, feeling a sting of pain in his chest as he said those words. “Please, if… If he comes with us, he won’t bother you anymore”_

_The woman pondered over his words, considering them. Slowly, she headed back inside, leaving the door open. V tensed up, ready to act if things spiraled out of control. He watched as she got closer to the child, making him flinch against the wall. She pulled him close by his arm, saying something in his ear before untying the rope from his foot. The boy began walking towards V, limping and keeping his head low, hunched in fear of the woman that followed behind him._

_V gave the boy a faint smile, placing his hand on his shoulder and leading him to stand behind him._

_“I want him back home at six” she said, looking at the child. “Don’t you fuck things up, termite. I’m not wasting my money with you.”_

_“He won’t give us any trouble, I’m sure of it” V asserted, pushing the child protectively behind his back. “We’ve told you before, Ms. Choi, we won’t charge you for anything. We are just taking care of your son.”_

_Without another word, she slammed the door shut. V had no reaction. There had been instances when he had picked up Saeran terribly injured, but never before had he intervened in one of their mother’s abusive episodes. The sound of the boy whimpering behind him was enough to make him come back from his thoughts. Turning around, he pulled the boy into a hug, allowing him to cry on his chest._

_“Shh,” he cooed, stroking the boy’s hair. “I’m here. I’ve got you now. Hyung is here with you. Hyung is here.”_

_Saeran wrapped his hands tight on V’s shirt. His breathing was shortened, uneven, his brief gasps for air unable to fill his lungs. His head was blurry, all his thoughts directed to her, her, her. The stinging pain in his chest was unbearable and his mouth went dry. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see, couldn’t think._

_Before he could notice he was sitting on the ground, shielded by V’s loving hug that pushed her hands away from his neck, allowing him to breathe, breathe, breathe. Hyung began drawing circles in his hair, rocking him back and forth, just like Saeyoung used to do._

_“Let’s take a deep breath now. Let all the air fill our lungs. Deep breath. Now, let it all out.” he kept on stroking the boy’s hair “Breathe, Saeran. Breathe.” Very gently, V held one of the boy’s hands, placing it on the grass “Can you feel the grass? Here, touch it. It’s soft, a bit wet because of the rain. Can you tell me what you feel?”_

_The boy shook his head, he would not talk._

_“It’s fine, don’t worry. Here,” V pressed the boy’s hand deeper on the ground “Can you feel the dirt? It’s a bit muddy, see? All those droplets of water, sticking to your fingers. Now we take this hand,” he lifted the boy’s hand, moving it towards his arm “And we write ‘Cool Saeran’”_

_Saeran giggled weakly, seeing the words written with mud in his arm._

_“I made you laugh, I’ll take it as a good sign” V tightened his hug, listening to the child’s weepy laugh, and gave him a kiss on the hair._

_Taking care of Saeran was not always easy, but it was never a weight. In that short time V had come to love the boy just as much as he loved his twin. The two so different brothers that were under his responsibility and care. He could not wait to get a way for the brothers to reunite._

. . .

_Yoosung has entered the chatroom_

Yoosung: uh

Yoosung: Oh, no one’s here

Yoosung: Well, just want to tell you guys that me and Zen are fine

Yoosung: He’s out to buy us breakfast, but he did not let me go

Yoosung: He keeps treating me like a child T.T

Yoosung: Yo, Sev

Yoosung: I mean

Yoosung: Yo, Saeyoung

Yoosung: Have you gotten any news????????

Yoosung: I was wondering if I could go with you save MC

Yoosung: I can help you, ya know

_V has entered the chatroom_

Yoosung: I got skilz for real ^^

Yoosung: I learned a lot of strategy with lolol ^^^^

Yoosung: Plus, I can help with medical stuff

Yoosung: I mean… Technically I’m studying to be a vet

Yoosung: But that’s basically doctor for animals

Yoosung: It’s not that different

Yoosung: Oh… V

V: Good morning, Yoosung

V: I see that you are offering your help to Saeyoung…

Yoosung: Yeah… Got a problem with that? >(

V: Well… I do not believe that is the best idea

V: Even Saeyoung… If I can say something

Yoosung: You can’t

V: I don’t think it’s safe for him to go there

Yoosung: Why? Because he’ll discover your secrets?

V: Yoosung…

V: I’ve told you

V: I’ll tell everything when the time comes

V: Please, be patient

Yoosung: I’m being patient

Yoosung: For six months I’m being patient

Yoosung: When I sat there and heard you telling the cop that Rika killed herself

Yoosung: I was being patient

Yoosung: But six months passed

Yoosung: We still don’t have a body

Yoosung: Rika is still missing

Yoosung: No one’s investigating

V: I am trying to investigate as much as I can

Yoosung: And you keep lying to us

Yoosung: Even about Seven’s brother

Yoosung: All you did was lie

Yoosung: Do you really think we value your opinion about what we should do?

Yoosung: And now 

V: Yoosung

V: I comprehend that you do not trust me

V: You have all the right to do so

V: Even hate me, you have all the right to do so

V: But everything I’m doing is to protect every single member in the RFA

V: I treasure all of you the most

V: I know that I do not deserve forgiveness from any of you

V: But

_Zen has entered the chatroom_

ZEN: Hey, V

ZEN: Sorry about Yoosung

ZEN: I took his cellphone now

ZEN: The kid is giving me trouble

V: Good morning, Hyun

V: I don’t believe it’s necessary to take his phone

V: He is right

V: I’ve not been honest with you

ZEN Hey, V…

ZEN: Come on, dude

ZEN: Yoosung is just being a prick

ZEN: aaaa

ZEN: I’ll give it back to him

Yoosung: Zen said I need to behave

Yoosung: HEY

Yoosung: I'M NOT A KID

ZEN: THEN STOP ACTING LIKE ONE

Yoosung: YOU SHOULD GIVE ME SUPPORT IN THIS HARD TIMES

ZEN: I’M GIVING YOU SUPPORT STOPPING YOU FROM BEING AN ASS

V: It’s good to see that you are so…... energetic^^

Yoosung: I’M MAD

ZEN: Watch it

ZEN: I’ll take your cellphone again

ZEN: Gosh…

V: I came here just to warn you

V: And ask you a favor

V: I needed to talk to Saeyoung,

V: but he is not taking my calls

Yoosung: Because he knows that you r a lirrrrhdsfh

ZEN: Took his phone

ZEN: What do you need from us, hyung?

V: The prime minister contacted me again

V: He talked about a special commendation he wishes to award us with

V: If any of you are contacted by his personnel, please

V: Don’t accept it and tell them to reach me

V: That’s all I ask

ZEN: A commendation??

ZEN: That’s cool

ZEN: Don’t you need help managing this, V?

ZEN: Dealing with government issues can be tough

V: Thank you, Hyun

V: For now

V: I do not plan to accept the commendation

Yoosung: WHY NOT?

_Saeyoung has entered the chatroom_

Saeyoung: Why did that man talk to you again?

Saeyoung: V….

Saeyoung: What did he want?

Saeyoung: Was it about… 

V: I think so

V: Saeyoung, let’s talk over the phone

V: Please

V: I comprehend you are angry,

V: But let’s talk

Saeyoung: We’ll talk here

Saeyoung: I’m betrayed

Saeyoung: I’m thinking about how much Saeran suffered

Saeyoung: Did you ever get to take him out of her house?

Saeyoung: Did you ever take care of him?

Saeyoung: Have you ever told me the truth?

V: Saeyoung

V: I can tell you that he was truly loved

V: We cared for him just like we cared for you

Saeyoung: Then you abandoned him 

Saeyoung: People like me should never meddle with people like you

Saeyoung: And now that horrible man is after us and the RFA

Yoosung: Just tell the truth, V

Yoosung: Even Saeyoung is doubting you now

ZEN: Hey

ZEN: Let’s calm down

ZEN: V is our friend

Yoosung: Saeyoung should have blocked you from here

ZEN: Yoosung, shut up

ZEN: You’re locked in the bathroom to send those things

ZEN: Bu don’t think I won’t knock the door down to take this phone from you

ZEN: You two need to calm the fuck down

Saeyoung: Did he ask you about… about what he is looking for?

V: Indirectly, yes

V: I’m sorry

V: I’m so sorry

Yoosung: Saying that won’t change anything

V: I know

V: I ii 

V: n oo

V: T*e sig l

V: so rr

_V has left the chatroom_

Yoosung: Jerk

Yoosung: Do you think he’s pretending?

Saeyoung: I think it’s suspicious

Saeyoung: But I don’t think he is pretending

ZEN: Can you two calm down a bit?

ZEN: V is behaving weird

ZEN: But I’m sure the situation is not as bad as it seems

Saeyoung: …

Yoosung: …

Saeyoung: Yoosung, get out of the bathroom and behave well

Saeyoung: I need to call Jumin

_Saeyoung left the chatroom_

ZEN: Come out

ZEN: I brought some healthy breakfast for us

Yoosung: Is it fruit?

Yoosung: Please tell me it isn’t

ZEN: Just come

_Yoosung left the chatroom_

_Zen left the chatroom_

. . .

_Saeran smiled as he watched the pencil write his name. Little by little, V showed him each character and it’s meaning._

_“Now it’s your turn,” V smiled, giving him the pencil and pointing to the blank space underneath the name._

_“I just copy that?” Saeran asked_

_“Yes. I’ll help you remember the meanings and sounds”_

_Saeran’s hand shivered a little. He wanted so bad to get it right, but the drawings were hard to make._

_“Want me to help you?”_

_The boy nodded, allowing V to place his hand over his own, guiding it over the piece of paper. Slowly, V showed him each shape and sound, each meaning of the parts that formed his name._

_“You have a really beautiful name, you know that don’t you?” V said “Names are such a powerful thing, you see. They represent us to the world, so we should always value and treasure the name we are given when we are born. If we write it in hangul, the first part, “Sae”, means ‘bird’, and the second part, ‘ran’, means ‘to be called’.” they finished writing the hangul, and the boy raised his head to V. “So you are a little bird just waiting to be called into the world” he poked the tip of the boy’s nose._

_“Like you and noona did?” Saeran smiled._

_“Like me and noona did” he ruffled the boy’s hair. “Now, if we write this in hanja” V held Saeran’s hand once more, showing him how to write “the first part, ‘Sae’, means ‘power, force’, and the second part, ‘ran’, means ‘chaos’. So your name means ‘powerful chaos’. Cool, right?”_

_Saeran stared at the name. Chaos. It seemed like a word that was fit to define his life. Chaos. During the day, he was happy near noona and hyung, at night he cried alone because of his mother. He had a loving brother that he could not ever see, because he had been such a nuisance that Saeyoung had to leave to protect him. Always such a useless nuisance to everyone._

_“I don’t like it,” Saeran said. “I don’t want to be chaos”_

_“There is no shame in chaos.” V explained, surprised by the boy’s reaction. “Everything comes from it. The whole universe originates from chaos and is constantly reorganizing and coordinating itself. Chaos is emotion, is allowing yourself to feel, to change, to shift over and over again. And this is you. So many emotions inside this heart in your chest, the unstoppable thoughts in your mind. All of this makes who you are. You feel everything around you so much and you cannot hold it inside, so you cry, you laugh, you cheer for what excites you, play with your fingers when you are feeling excited or feeling down. And you should not be ashamed of doing so”_

_“But mom calls me a moron when I do those things”_

_“Your mom has no idea of the person she is missing to meet.” V stroke his hair “Everyone is different. You just have some traits that don’t completely fit in the idea people have of normality, that’s all. But truly, what is normal?”_

_Searan giggled softly. “You use so many fancy words”_

_V smiled, remembering the other ginger boy that giggled at his fancy words. He cupped Saeran’s cheeks with his hands._

_“You are brilliant, Saeran. Just the way you are.” he kissed his hairline. “Promise me you won’t change”._

_“I promise,” Saeran giggled._

_“Then let’s continue doing this. I’ll guide you once more, ok? Then it will be your turn”_

_“Hyung” Saeran interrupted, looking at him “What does your name mean?”_

_V smiled. “My name? Very well, let’s see.”_

_He moved his hand to the other side of the paper in order to write it._

_“‘Ji’ has four meanings. It can mean ‘wisdom’ and ‘intellect’ or ‘will’ and ‘purpose’. ‘Hyun’ means ‘worthy’ and ‘virtuous’”_

_“Wow! Your name has so many meanings, then.” Saeran pondered “I like it! It can be ‘virtuous purpose’ or ‘worthy of wisdom’”_

_V chuckled. “Yeah, it can be. Now, let’s finish this before noona comes to scold both of us”_

_Saeran loved spending time with noona and hyung. They were just as nice and caring as Saeyoung had told him. At all times they tried so much to make him smile, but still, he missed his brother. Every time they played with him and spent time with him, he could not stop imagining how much Saeyoung would love to be there. He could not wait for him to come back._

_“I made coffee,” Rika said as she entered the room “And hot chocolate for Saeran.”_

_“We are almost finished here. Ready for break.” V chuckled without raising his eyes from the paper._

_“Isn’t it you who always says that we should let him do things on his own?” Rika teased, giggling. She placed one mug with coffee in front of V and a mug containing hot chocolate in front of Saeran. “It’s hot, Saeran. Be careful not to burn yourself.” she warned, giving him a small kiss on the head._

_“I was just giving him a hand,” he chuckled, winking at Saeran. “There is no problem in that.”_

_“We need to be careful not to influence his handwriting.” Rika pointed out, gathering some books into a pile “You know that your calligraphy is not good, we should refrain from making him be bad at it as well”_

_V sighed, making Saeran raise his head. He wondered if noona had been rude since it sounded such a mean thing to say, but noona was never mean. He should have heard it wrong. So the boy lowered his head back to the chocolate. It was good._

. . .

V had packed his bag early in the morning and left before sunrise. Usually, he believed that driving was one of the greatest manners to ordinate your thoughts. The road, the speed, the sky over his head. Usually, whenever he drove he felt that he could clear his mind, wipe out all thoughts and for a while become part of the engine, just a car on the road. No problems, no issues, nothing. That was not one of those times. The reason that made him drive there was much more sordid, too disturbing for him to dare imagining anything other than that. That would not be a pleasant drive, as it never was when he went to that place. It was crucial, necessary, the only thing he could do in moments like that one. 

For too long he had lingered, waiting for something to happen, for her to give up, for her to finally take him and only him, leaving the others alone. But it was time for him to act. He would not care if she made him wither in pain as long as all those innocents were left alone. MC did not deserve to suffer because of them. Neither did the child. His child. 

Shame crawled behind his back. He had failed. For so many years he swore to protect them, guide them, and he had failed them both. People used to say that he had kind and truthful eyes, but he hated them. He hated them because those eyes helped him to break the hearts of those he loved. Soon, he would not be able to drive, to see, to take photos, and it seemed fit. Someone like him should never see the world as he would be only a burden if he did. His deeds brought only despair to those around him, it seemed fit that he would not see anything for the rest of his life.

He had some robes and fake identification passes. They were not hard to forge and Saeyoung - not knowing the true purpose of them - helped him. Even if six months had passed, it all felt unreal. For how long had she been planning that place? For how long had she kept the child there? V did not know the answers. She wanted him to find Magenta. It all started with small clues, notes, messages, all scattered in his life that could only come from one person. She wanted him to know what she had done and, above all, what she had done to the boy. The boy they cared for, the boy he loved so much, the boy that loved flowers and yearned to learn photography. The kind child that held chaos inside his heart. 

For six months he lied to Saeyoung. He did not wish for the boy to suffer. The boy deserved happiness for once, he deserved to meet his brother once Saeran was healthy and happy once more. But that was not in her plans. She believed the child was receiving everything he needed and she wanted to take his brother too. It was too dangerous, too risky, too bad. He couldn’t. Saeyoung did not need to suffer any longer. His kind boy with ginger hair. His heart would be devastated if he saw Saeran like that. V was the one to blame. He had been the one that caused what she did to Saeran, so there was no point in asking for help. No point at all. He should do it alone, solve everything by his hands and be the only one to pay for everything. With his love, he would fulfill any of her wishes, even if he had to be destroyed in the process to do so.

“Mr. Ray is in charge of her…” the believers told him “But have you heard that he has been cleansed again?”

Again. How many times had she done that to him? How many times had him forcefully and, later on, willingly, ingested that terrible drug? V knew that the drug was not the only thing they had done to him. He had been hurt, starved, left in a state as terrible as he was when they rescued him from their mother’s home. The photographer knew that he should not have intervened, that action could put the boy in even greater danger, make him face even worse punishment, but he couldn’t allow him to starve. He truly could not allow him to suffer more than he already was. So he left him food, in the quiet of the night, hoping that the child would allow himself at least to eat.

It pained him. At every moment, he felt the weight of his mistakes, carrying the cries of those that had been hurt because of him. Not even the boys, who he so deeply wished to help, who he truly loved and cared. Everything he touched was destined to wither and die. His love was poison, sickness, unworthy of living. Just like him. All he hoped was to free the innocent, allow him and Rika to destroy themselves however she wished to. All he wished for was to keep the children safe.

. . .

_Saeran held his hand tight, hiding his face in hyung’s arm. He loved spending the day with hyung and noona, but he dreaded when it ended. When the sun began to set, he knew that soon hyung would call him to go to the car. The trip would be silent, even if hyung and noona kept on talking. Noona was not there to take him home that day, which seemed to make it even scarier than other times. Truth was: he did not want to go. He hated arriving at home because he would have to go back to the smell of alcohol. It meant that mother would be drunk and angry for something he would do, even if he never truly understood what. It meant that he would be cold, curling up under their blanket with the rope cutting his ankle. It meant that Saeyoung would still be far away from him._

_Before knocking on the door, hyung placed his hands on the boy’s shoulders, like he did everytime._

_“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he promised. “I’ll be here and we’ll have a lot of fun again. I promise you.”_

_Saeran looked at the old wooden door, feeling the tears come to his eyes. He could hear the TV and how everything was always so loud, so loud, so loud. He did not want to go inside. Not her. Not her. Not her._

_“My child,” V pulled him into a hug, placing his hand on the back of his head and giving him a kiss over the hair. “One day we’ll get you out of here and you’ll come live with us. Then you’ll have all the fun you want, everyday. Be brave, Saeran”_

_The boy could not hold back anymore, his tears falling down V’s shirt and allowing a heartbreaking sob to come out. This made the hug become tighter._

_“You are not alone. Even if we are not with you in here, you are not alone. Remember that, ok?”_

_Without letting go off his hand, V knocked. It did not take long for mother to appear, making him hide himself behind hyung._

_“Good evening, Ms. Choi.” V said “I came to bring Saeran home._

_Mother sent him a terrible look. She was angry already but he knew that he could not have done anything to her. Maybe she was angry because he was back._

_“Get inside” she ordered, pointing towards the interior of the house._

_Once more, he hugged V, unable to stop crying. The older man’s hug was warm and he needed that. He needed a bit of the warmth to survive the night. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t because she grabbed him by the shoulder, pulling him back and pushing him inside the home._

_“I told you to get inside” she voiced, turning to face V “Did he cause you any trouble?”_

_“No” V answered, looking at Saeran that stood still in the tiny kitchen “He would never cause us any trouble”_

_“An idiot child like him always causes trouble” mother replied “This useless shit can never do anything right”_

_Saeran almost cried. He wished for V to leave. Mom was being mean and he did not want anyone to see that._

_“You know, Ms. Choi” V said, ignoring what she had just said. “I’d like to congratulate you on the amazing child you have.”_

_Saeran lifted his gaze and saw that the man was looking past his mother, directly into him._

_“Saeran is a brilliant child and he has a promising future ahead of him. He is incredibly smart and I’m sure that, when he grows up, he’ll be a formidable adult. I bid both of you good night.”_

_The boy’s smile faded as she closed the door and turned to face him. Lowering his head, he waited for what she had to say._

_“What are you doing standing there, useless prick?” she asked “Shut your mouth and go to bed. Don’t bother me tonight.”_

_Saeran’s life was not happy all the time, but people like hyung and noona made it easier. He knew that Saeyoung would come back for him and when this day came, they could be a family again. Hyung had promised so and he always fulfilled his promises._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V makes me sad and angry and soft and annoyed, all at the same time. Basically, I love him.
> 
> Also, Rika gets in my nerves, but I think that she is a great villain. Writing her is a huge challenge for me because I do not love her as a living creature, so creating scenes where she is sweet and loving is a challenge, but I can also place those little hints of her abusive behavior, which I love. The scene where she talks bad about Jihyun's handwritting was completely inspired by the fact that my cousin hates this so much (Rika criticizing his handwriting, which is canon) and was partially made to annoy her even more. 
> 
> A special thanks to those brilliant people that made an incredible research about the character's names.  
> https://mysticmessengertheory.tumblr.com/post/151244699887/choi-twins-names-analysis  
> https://lucky-number-606.tumblr.com/post/176815360799/mystic-messenger-name-meanings-right-away-im-gonna
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love it!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	20. Savior

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter begins with an intense flashback regarding Saeran and the months he spent alone with his mother before being rescued by V and Rika. It does not contain graphical descriptions of abuse against him, but it's never too bad to warn yall. It's mostly sad, but be safe and beware your triggers
> 
> As always - mentions of child abuse
> 
> Also beware for glimpses of psychological abuse

_ Mother had always been cruel. Never in his life had the boy received any care from her, anything other than her drunken rage and her terrible slurs. Mother hated them. They were not her children, they were profit, the money she received every month and that they could never touch. It was hers, just like them, just another possession she had acquired from their father.  _

_ It had been two months since Saeyoung disappeared. Two months that Saeran had spent crying. His brother. His brother. Where was him? Where was Saeyoung? He had prayed for the God Saeyoung talked about, begging him to give his brother back, to make him safe from their father. But Saeyoung remained gone. And Saeran remained hungry. Mother was angry, so angry. She would beat him more than she did before, as if making up for the lack of the other son. Every night Saeran was sure that his life was about to end, but when the sun raised and he was still in the same place, in the same tiny corner, alone, abandoned, his hope of feeling Saeyoung’s hug once more was restored and once again he faced all the pain mother had to give him.  _

_ “Your brother, that termite. Where has he gone to this time?” _

_ He did not know, but it didn’t matter. She wanted answers and her beatings worsened each day. For two months he was locked up with her. For two months Saeran wished to finally die so that he could be reunited with his brother.  _

_ “Look at you, useless. You are pathetic, Saeran Choi. Just you wait until I get the money from your father, you’ll be out of here.” _

_ Her threats should not mean anything, but he was afraid. Afraid of father, afraid of mother, afraid of the outside world that was completely unknown to him. There was nothing left in life for him other than pain, suffering and hunger. Mother was good at giving him those. _

_ “You are nothing but a stupid bug. And what about this sinister atmosphere of yours? Why are you looking at me like that?” _

_ He tried not to move most of the time, stay quiet not to disturb her, in hopes that, one day, she would just forget that he existed and finally allow him to wither away and become a cloud in the sky.  _

_ “Stop crying” she yelled, “Can’t you shut up for one second?” _

_ He tried to stop. She did not like crying, she did not like crying. The fever was making him dizzy, sickly lying on the floor. He felt too weak to move, to think. With the minimum strength left in his body, he hugged the blanket tighter, trying to absorb a small part of its warmth as he shivered in cold.  _

_ “Useless little shit,” she got up, making him shriek in fear, curling up even more.  _

_ No more. No more. No more. _

_ “Moron. Now Saeyoung has left you and look at what happened. How can you be this useless, Saeran Choi?” _

_ He sobbed, hiding his face on the blanket. His chest tightened, the pain was unbearable. He couldn’t breath. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe.  _

_ “Are you so stupid that you can’t even talk anymore?” she pulled him by his arm, making him sit up.  _

_ The boy averted her gaze, waiting for the pain to come on his face, on his arms, on his torso. Make her stop, please, please, please. He couldn’t talk. Something blocked his vocal cords, fear had lodged in there and, once again, he had gone mute. But Saeyoung was not there this time. Saeyoung understood him when he couldn’t talk. Mother didn’t.  _

_ A knock on the door made her let go off him, letting him fall back on the hardwood floor. Could it be Saeyoung?  _

_ “Who are you?” mother yelled without opening the door. _

_ The words barely reached his mind. Mother was angry and yelling at them, telling them to leave. No one ever came to the house. Ever. When the door was opened and the sound of other voices came in, it sounded weird. It had been so long since he had heard another voice. _

_ “We know that you have been abusing your child” a female voice said “We have enough evidence to use in court.” _

_ “Did their father send you?” mother scoffed “Just tell him to send me the money and get lost before I expose the truth about him” _

_ “We have nothing to do with the father of your child. Ms. Choi, please, calm down and listen to us” _

_ “Who are you to tell me what to do with my child?” mother yelled “Are you the ones who took Saeyoung?” _

_ Something happened, but the boy couldn’t see. He couldn’t see. Another voice came up. A warm and calm voice that spoke with kindness. Saeran liked the voice. With his last strength, he sat up, crawling to the side to see the kitchen door. For one moment, the man’s eyes met his. Mint eyes that held a promise that Saeran could not comprehend. They were the people from church. Saeyoung had told him about them so many times. But if they were from church, they could be the ones that took Saeyoung away. No. He did not want to be tricked too. No. No. No. _

_ “Besides, Ms. Choi, it is illegal not to send your child to school. It can be church school, we’ll help both of you with this.” _

_ “Do whatever you want, then. I hate annoying things like this. Just make sure that his father doesn’t know” mother scoffed once more “That is, if you can make him get up. The piece of shit doesn’t know how to do anything.” _

_ Mother was sending him away. He did not understand. Who are they? He heard steps in the old floor, different from his mother’s. Don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me. He backed away against the wall, bracing his blanket, trying to get as far away as he could from that man who Saeyoung knew and who might have taken his brother away.  _

_ “Shh, it’s fine,” the man whispered, crouching near him “We’re here to help” _

_ Saeran sobbed. He did not want to die. They would be like mother, like all other adults were. They would torture him, just like they might have done to his brother. Saeyoung trusted them, but he was gone. His brother would never leave without telling him. Never. _

_ “Hi, Saeran,” he said, carefully inching closer to the boy “I’m V. Me and my girlfriend are here to take you outside for a bit. You can trust us. Please, we are here to help you” _

_ He saw one of the man’s hands coming closer and hid his face on the blanket, waiting for the sharp tug on his arm. But instead the hand carefully stroked his hair, drawing circles with his fingers as he did so. Just like Saeyoung. The man kept on doing so, until the boy raised his eyes, seeing the kind smile in his lips.  _

_ “Let us help you. We’ll explain everything to you. Please, Saeran. We just want to help you” _

_ His eyes were kind, depicting a spark that he had only seen in his brother. They were Saeyoung’s friends. Hyung would call them hyung and noona, so that meant that they were to be trusted. If Saeyoung trusted them… Saeran also should. Without letting go off the blanket, he held the man’s hand. He would leave. After so long, he would leave with Saeyoung’s friends. Did they know where he was? Could they find him? His legs wobbled and his fall was broken by the man’s hands that offered him support. V pulled him close to his torso, helping him at each faltering step up to the door. Slowly, Saeran allowed himself to rest his head on hyung’s chest. He was safe. They would keep him safe.  _

_ “Bring him back before it gets dark”  _

_ “Yes, Ms. Choi. You don’t need to worry about that.” the man answered. _

_ Mother had barely closed the door when the man raised him in his arms, wrapping him on the blanket and rushing him towards the car. Saeran’s vision was blurry, but he could see the blue of the sky. He had missed it so much. _

_ “V, wha-” the blonde woman began to ask, rushing behind him. _

_ “He is burning up in fever. We need to get him to church, now.” the man answered “Stay conscious Saeran. We’ll have fun today, ok? Just stay awake.” he turned back to the woman “Did we pack that blanket we got for him?” _

_ “It’s in the car, yes” she stroked the boy's hair, pushing it away from his face “Poor thing. How could she…” _

_ “I don’t know… I didn’t imagine that he would be like this. Do we have everything?” _

_ “Yes,” she answered. “Focus on driving, I’ll take care of him” _

_ They placed Saeran inside the car, with his head lying on the woman’s lap. Rika-noona gently caressed his hair, talking to him all the way. He was very tired and wanted to sleep, but she did not let him. Her golden hair seemed like a bright light heavenly surrounding her.  _

_ “Saeyoung sent us,” she said “He loves you a lot, Saeran, and he left to protect you. He’ll be back soon, but until then we’ll be the ones to take care of you” _

_ Saeran cried. His heart shattered as he got the answers he so desperately wished for. Saeyoung had left. It was true then. His only brother was gone and he was all alone.  _

_ “Shh, sweetheart. You are safe now. You are safe, dear,”  _

_ Her hand brushing between his hair was soft, giving him a kind of love that he had barely known in his life. She was kind, so kind to a useless child like him.  _

_ “Saeyoung loves you” _

_ They carried him inside the church, to the same room he had been in when Saeyoung took him there, on the first time he had met the couple. He had almost forgotten about that. He lied on a warm couch, his head in V’s lap while Rika took care of his bruises. She kept talking to him, being much nicer than his mother had ever been. She did not yell, nor pull his hair or beat him up. All noona did was kindly dab a wet cloth on his bruises, cleaning and bandaging each one of them, assuring him that he would soon be fine.  _

_ Her voice was like the ray of moonlight that always found a way inside his home and made him company on the horrible nights he had spent alone, nurturing and caring for him when no one else would look at the little weed that was dying in the dark. _

_ “He’ll be back soon” _

_ V carried him to the bathroom and they gave him a bath. He couldn’t move much, but they were just like Saeyoung. Hyung did not tell him how useless he was or how much of a moron he was being for crying. He was silent, but did not let go of Saeran’s hand at all times. Even if he was not talking, they were not angry at him. Just like his brother, hyung kept on stroking his hair and humming a soft song, the kind smile never leaving his lips. _

_ His eyes were like the sun that was so strange to Saeran and, still, the boy always yearned so much, allowing his light to come inside the house during the day, keeping farther away the demons of the night and always reminding him of the future that waited for him outside. _

_ “We’ll take care of you from now on” _

_ They gave him new clothes and a brand new blanket, promising to wash the old one and bring it back to him as soon as it dried. That was one of the few things he and his brother had, he was not sure if he could let go of it, but noona and hyung were convincing and the new blanket was warmer and much softer than the old one. He hoped that Saeyoung had a blanket as soft as that one with him. Afterwards, they sat him on the couch and gave him food. He had stopped counting how long it had been since mother gave him anything to eat. He was scared of the thermometer when they first showed it to him, but hyung hugged him tight and he closed his eyes while noona pointed it to his forehead. He did not understand how that thing worked, but he liked it in the end. Something Saeran did not like was the medicine, since it was bitter, but it was the same he had been taking all his life. He imagined that Saeyoung had explained everything to them. _

_ For the rest of the afternoon, they allowed him to lay on their laps. Hyung did not leave his side and he was grateful for that. He did not want to be alone. Even when he finally slept, with cartoons playing on the television, they were with him.  _

_ “Be brave” _

_ They were his hope. The voice that told him to endure the nights at mother’s home because during the day he would be free to stay with them. _

_ They would bring his brother back. _

_ They were his family. _

_ They were his saviors. _

. . .

Ray bowed, proudfully smiling as he handed Savior the report. After leaving MC back in the basement, he had felt good. His morning seemed to have begun again after sharing breakfast with her and being able to listen to her excited talk about college.  _ What a loser. _ Ray enjoyed listening to MC, he figured out. Just like when they were children, she had taught him so much about the outside world.  _ Weak bug.  _ She told him about the university and how she studied something she loved. Maybe Savior could create a university in paradise.  _ Paradise is perfect.  _ Ray could dream of-  _ Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think! _ Ray couldn’t dream of anything. He had forgotten that he was not worthy of that.

“I have acquired more snippets of information, as you told me to, my savior.” Ray said. “The actor and the student, who you asked us to watch closely, seem to be together; and the CEO and his assistant are still spending most of their time inside the company…”

“What about Saeyoung?”

_ Don’t say his name. Traitor. Traitor. Traitor. _

“The cameras inside the apartment have been destroyed, I believe that by the redhead himself. Besides, the nearby cameras, the ones in front of the building, also seem to be experiencing technical difficulties. I am battling him over he complete control of the electronics in your old apartment, my Savior”

“Good,” she smiled, giving him the folder back. “You’ve done good today, Ray. Are you trying to make up for all of your mistakes and behaviors from the last days?”

“Partially, yes, my Savior” he answered.  _ Idiot.  _ “I am deeply sorry about all I have done and I wish to show you that I am completely dedicated to the Mint Eye and to you”

She was pleased, he could tell from the way she smiled. Slowly, she sat back on her chair, crossing one leg over the other.

“What about our guest?” she asked. “I am impressed that we’ve been in the same room and you still have not brought her up.”

Ray blushed. Savior talked about it as if it was bad to talk about MC.  _ Useless idiot, can’t you understand her?  _ Ray was too dumb to understand Savior’s intentions behind her voice. He couldn’t think, think, think.

“She is fine, m-my Savior”  _ get a fucking grip, bug.  _ “In fact, I stand by what I have said before. She is very interested in Magenta. In fact, today I took her for a walk in the gardens and-”

“You what, Ray?” she looked straight through him, her slight frown was enough to send shivers down his spine.

“I-I thought that t-there would not be any p-problem in doing so.” his voice quivered “Since I am the one in charge of caring f-for the garden, I thought that it would be okay to take her there so that she could see a small part of our paradise and-”

“I see…” Savior stood up, walking up to him. “You did good, Ray. Look at you, poor thing. There is no need to be this nervous, my child. You are being very good today.” she stroked his hair “Tell me, what did she say after you showed her the garden?”

Ray took a deep breath. Savior was happy with him, that was good. Very good.

“She longs to meet you, my Savior, so that she can stay here with us. I swear, she is really interested in paradise.” 

“I’m happy to hear that, Ray. I wish to meet her too” Savior smiled. “Bring her to me tonight, so that I can talk to her and, hopefully, welcome her to our paradise” 

Ray bowed. MC would be saved by the Mint Eye.  _ Stupid, weak girl. _ Savior had felt the kindness in her, Ray was sure of it. She had sensed that Myung needed to be protected and the only place to her was Magenta.

“Thank you, my Savior. I shall tell her-”

“I want you to be the one to make her Cleansing Ceremony, if she joins us”

No.  _ No.  _ Ray couldn’t.  _ Ray had to. _ The elixir used to hurt him so much, it burned his insides as soon as it entered his mouth. One bottle was enough to make him feeling sick for hours and now he would have to do this to his friend. His only friend.  _ Don’t do anything stupid, bug. _

“Is it truly necessary?”

_ That’s something stupid, bug. _

Savior stared at him. It was one of the few times Ray had ever seen her surprised. Everything in his body told him to  _ kneel and beg for forgiveness, you idiot, idiot, idiot. You don’t even deserve to be here and now you wish to contradict Savior’s orders. She should have let you rot and die at the crazy woman's hands.  _ But he didn’t. With all his strength, Ray tried to hold the impulse of averting his gaze and kept looking at her, waiting for her answer.

“What is it between you and this girl, Ray?” Savior asked, frowning again “It seems that you have this irresistible impulse of disobeying and contradicting me whenever she comes into the topic of discussion.” she advanced in his direction and he backed away a few steps “Why did you choose her, Ray?”

_ Your lies are weak. Lie better. _

“I’ve t-told you, Savior,” he answered, lowering his head, “I found her in my research of possible candidates to infiltrate the RFA. I just…” he kneeled. Stupid Ray. He had no right of questioning Savior like that. “I’m sorry. I was so honoured to receive such a privilege that I… I…”

“Ray,” she sighed, disappointed. “I did not expect much more from you. Please, stand, my child.” Savior said, sitting back in her chair “Please, make the preparations. Tonight we shall see the enthusiasm of Myung Chae and if it matches what you have told me about her”

Ray bowed once more before leaving, but Savior kept on observing him until he exited through the door. She knew her child well, he had always been so easy to read. Differently from his brother, he did not know how to hide his emotions. He thought that he was being clever, but she could tell that he was hiding something from her, and soon she would make sure to find out what it was.

. . .

MC sat quietly inside the stone cell. Her afternoon had been boring, to say the least. Even if she was still frightened to stay in that place, there was not much happening in the deepest floors of Magenta. Her chat with Ray had been nice, but brief. He had to work, even if he did not tell her what he worked with. She also did not ask. He had seemed interested in everything she had told him about the outside world and, for that moment, it was enough. Slowly, little by little, she would clear his mind from the terrible thing those people had done to him.

“Noona”

She smiled and got up when she heard his voice. Ray had promised to come back and even if it took him some time, he did so. 

“Hi, Ray. How was your day?”

“Good!” he answered, unlocking the cell and coming in “Really good, actually.”

“That’s amazing” she smiled “Can you tell me what time is it? There are no windows down here, it’s hard to know…”

“It’s night already. I wished to have come sooner but… Well, there were complications and I was unable to do so” he scratched the back of his head, barely able to hold back his excitement “But, MC, I have amazing news for you. I met up with Savior today and she is eager to meet you and accept you into the Mint Eye”

MC felt her stomach sink. It was happening. She did hope to meet this Savior, but that had been terribly faster than she expected. In fact, she did not know what to do next. It seemed that it would be time to improvise, but even so she was unsure if it would be enough. She had to win time for Saeyoung to reach her and Saeran, that was for sure, but it seemed impossible. 

“She did?” MC cheered “That is amazing, Ray! When do I get to see her, then? Did she schedule something or what?”

“I’m here to take you to her right now” Ray answered, sending a shiver down MC’s spine.

She wasn’t ready when she stepped out of the cell, neither was she when she put the blindfold on and locked arms with Ray, allowing him to guide her up the stairs. That was not the sort of situation for which she would have been able to prepare, it was something that she knew that, sooner or later, would happen. MC was slowly walking towards the answers she needed, but the idea of talking to a cult leader was equally exciting as terrifying.

“How is she like, Ray? Your savior.”

“Savior is amazing. She is so smart and clever, also kind. She is the only person that has ever truly loved me, MC. Savior loves everyone here in Magenta and protects us, broken people, from the harshness of the outside world. She was the one that made me see the truth about myself and those that betrayed me.”

“You truly believe that your brother abandoned you, then?” she asked, immediately feeling the grip of his hand in her arm tighten.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured “but can we not talk about that redhead right now?”

She placed her hand over his. “It’s fine. You can tell me later”

They proceeded to walk in silence. MC could tell that she was shivering, anxiety trying to take over her body. She couldn’t allow it. Not there, not at that moment. It was time to come face to face with whoever was manipulating those people and, even harder, deceive that person into allowing her to live another day. Gather information, save herself, save Saeran, those were the goals she had established for her.

“Now, you don’t need to be afraid of Savior” Ray said as they came to a stop “She is wise and kind, all she does will be with your best interest in mind”

“I’m a bit nervous, that’s all” she chuckled “Thank you, Ray. You’ll be in there with me, right?”

“Yes, all the time”

She could hear doors opening and closing, but Saeran did not make a sound. For a while, all she could hear was their footsteps resonating loudly in the walls.

“For Paradise, my Savior” Ray said, without taking MC’s blindfold off.

“For Paradise” a female voice answered “Please, Ray, take off her blindfold. We don’t want to scare her nor keep her waiting for too long.”

MC thought that she would flinch with light once more, but the wide room she found herself into was rather dark, lit only by a few candle lights. She blinked for a bit in order to adjust to the darkness, looking around at the room that held about forty people inside, all of them seemed to be wearing hooded robes. 

“That’s creepy”, MC thought, turning her attention to the figure sitting on a throne in front of her.

It was hard to see, but as the person stood up and walked a bit more into the light, MC was able to identify her golden hair and green eyes, the ones that she had seen so much scattered on the pictures sent in the chatroom. Once more, she blinked, unable to believe her eyes as she observed Rika walk down a set of steps, heading in her direction. It was Rika. Yoosung’s cousin, V’s fiancé, the girl that supposedly killed herself six months before. A set of questions rose in her mind, but she was unable to restrain her attention to any of them for too long. It all felt unreal. 

“For paradise, newcomer” Rika smiled, holding MC’s hands in hers “We are glad to welcome you tonight. You must be Myung Chae, is it correct?”

“Y-yes,” MC stuttered, trying to recover from the sudden revelation and the meltdown going on in her mind. “That’s me. Hi…  _ Savior _ . Ray talked a lot about you and your institution”

Rika smiled. “I’m happy to hear so,” she said, without letting go of MC’s hands. “Ray did tell me a lot about you too. And I can see what sparked his attention in you. I must say, you have done formidable work, even if indirectly, by entering the RFA. And now you wish to join us here at Mint Eye, Ray has told me” Rika let go off her hands, waiting for an answer.

“Yes, I do” MC forced herself to smile, putting her own hands behind her back. “Ray has told me about your objective and revealed the truth about the RFA. I truly wish to help him overcome those terrible things people have done to him and, to do so, I believe that the Mint Eye will be the right place for me. I just wished for more information about this place and what you do”

“Everything comes at it’s right time,” Rika giggled. “You see, MC. At first I wondered if you would truly be a good acquisition for us, but now, reading the past logs for the chatrooms, I can see how naive you are. Ray is right, you are such a frail being just waiting to be crushed by the outside world.”

MC had to hold the urge of slapping that crazy girl for calling her frail. She was not frail. just listening to someone calling her that was bringing her memories that she was not fond of. But she had to be clever and that meant not giving the not-so-dead Rika a piece of her mind.

“How can you say that I’m frail?” MC asked, faking her curiosity.

“Just by looking at you I can tell. Your posture, the way you smile at people, claiming that you want to help someone like Ray, who you have just met. And of course, all of the predisposition you depicted in helping each of the problematic members of the RFA.” Rika sighed “Myung, I know that it is hard to admit, but such traits are deemed as weakness by the outside world. The strong people outside will scorn you, push you further away from them at all costs and only use you because you are so naive and weak that you will always beg for their attention.” she stroked MC’s cheek, making the girl force herself not to flinch “Here in the Mint Eye we give you a chance to prove yourself and conquer your place in Paradise through love, work and discipline. Everyone can try to be useful here.” Rika took a deep breath “Tell me, MC… Has no one ever told you that you are too weak to do something?”

Myung took a deep breath. that woman was sending shivers down her spine. Of course people did, she had been bullied for half of her life, but that did not make sense. Rika did not make sense.

“Yes, people used to… bully me and stuff like that in school” MC said, understanding that she would have to talk in order to Rika give her further information “They used to say that I was not good at anything”

“See? They all tried to change you, say that your essence was twisted and wrong. I am sure that it was terrible back then, when no one accepted who you were and tried to change you, turn you into someone else.”

“Well, it was. The boys would say that I was too dumb and kids never allowed me to play with them” MC said before she could realize it. Rika had a captivating atmosphere, for sure she could understand why people would open up to her and even believe in her words.

“All alone, Myung Chae was… Until she found us. My dear, here no one will change you. All of your darkness will be embraced, the only wrong we know is to stop yourself from doing what you wish to do. You shall have all the opportunities to prove your value to us, no one will give up on you for your weakness.”

But Myung had never been alone. Even when things were hard, her grandmother and Areum had always been by her side. She had been blessed with the love of her family and friends, always being supported by amazing people that helped her see how her so-called “weaknesses” could turn out to be beautiful and unique traits that she had. Her superpowers, Areum used to say.

_ “No one is ‘weird’, MC. Everyone is unique, all right? If those jerks call you freak again, just remember that you are perfect in your own way.” Areum used to say “All those things that they make fun of are part of who you are. They are your superpower.” _

She had had the support of those around her, but what about those who did not? It was so easy to fall for her words, the soft promises that came out of Rika’s lips. The hope of a better future for those that had been excluded from society, but instead of showing them how precious each of them were, Rika was telling them that they were weak and for that had to hide themselves. That was not right. Absolutely not right.

“Look at Ray, for example” Rika continued “He was used even for his own brother simply for being a bed ridden child. There was no value in being the weaker of the twins and his brother knew so. The weaker is always bound to be stepped on and used as a ladder for the stronger.”

“Stop” MC interrupted, seeing the pained expression in Ray’s face. He was quiet, looking at the floor, but she could notice him flinching, clenching the side of his coat tight. She was hurting him by talking about those terrible lies. “I’m sorry, I mean… That is such a terrible subject, Savior. I… It brings up bad memories.”

“I see…” Rika murmured, her attentive gaze travelling from Myung to Ray “Well, I do not wish to disturb you right now. We shall access those memories further on. Apparently Ray has done a good job by selecting you to help us in our mission to bring enlightenment to the RFA. Tell me once more, my child, why did you choose her?”

Ray stiffened. MC saw his face distort in fear, quickly glancing at her before looking at Savior. For what she could comprehend, Rika did not know that they had met when they were children, which was interesting since Ray had seemed so devoted to her.

“I-I… I thought that…” Ray lowered his head once more, his breathing was cutting short “Myung Chae is w-weak like us in Mint Eye and… I-I t-thought that s-she would c-comprehend our quest and a-accept to be saved by you, my Savior. That is why.”

Savior is kind, Ray had said, but Myung could not connect that phrase with the fact that Ray was shivering in fear in her presence. He did not tell her that they were friends when they were kids, but he had said that Myung was weak. That did hurt. She was not weak.

“Thank you for your answer, Ray.” Rika smiled, turning to face MC “So… You seem to have  _ bonded  _ a lot for two people who have just met. It is nice to see you opening yourself more, Ray. Just remember to not disturb Myung. You know that you can be… bothering at times, don’t you?”

“Y-yes, Savior” he answered, lowering his head.

“I don’t think Ray could ever bother me.” Myung intervened, barely being able to hide her anger with Rika’s comment “He is one of the greatest friends I have now. He won’t disturb me. In fact, the time I have spent talking to him was much more pleasant than the time I have spent locked and disturbed in the basement.”

Rika took a long, sharp breath. Maybe that had not been the wisest decision, but MC did not care. She was already done with that crazy supposed-to-be-dead cult lady.

“I am happy to hear that,” Rika said, opening up the most uncomfortable smile Myung had ever seen. “You are very much welcome to our Paradise, Myung Chae. Ray shall give you the instructions and initiate you on the rightful path. Now, please, excuse me. I shall conduct service tonight. For paradise.”

“For paradise” Ray bowed.

“For… For paradise” MC repeated, following him outside the room. 

They walked together between the two aligned rows of standing believers, that did not turn to look at them. She felt Ray’s shoulder close, almost brushing against her but still at a safe distance that did not allow him to do so. Still, he did not leave her side, attentively watching their surroundings. Before leaving through the door Ray held open, MC looked back into the room and, with the corner of her eye, she thought that she had seen a pair of mint colored eyes looking at her, but she could not find their owner later on. She shrugged it off, there was no reason for any of them to be interested in her. 

In silence, they walked to the garden. Ray was eager before, but at the moment he seemed serious, almost sad, but Myung did not know why. She had heard him talk repeatedly about how that place was wonderful and how she would fit in perfectly, but his excitement seemed to have vanished completely. MC did not feel like talking either. After that talk she had much to think about and listening to Ray call her weak had not been the best thing in her night.

“I lied to Savior about you” he broke the silence, coming to a stop and turning to face her “I d-did not tell her that I’ve met you as a child”

“Why did you lie, Ray? I’m not mad,” she added, seeing his pained expression “I actually think that you did good. But I want to know why.”

“Because… I’m not sure why. Savior knows everything about me and that’s good” he sounded hesitant “Really good. She watched closely over me and has taken care of me since she saved me from… From that horrible place I lived in before. But I think that… Having the memory of you just to myself… that is something I want.” he scratched the back of his neck “Besides, I was afraid that if I told her the truth she would… Oh, no” he hid his face in his hands.

“Ray? What’s wrong? Please, I want to help you.” she stroked his arm, gently moving her hand up and down.

“Don’t get me wrong.” he said, lifting his eyes to face her and smiling “I feel like I am in a dream. I’m so happy that you joined us, so happy! If this is a dream, I hope I’ll never wake up. You… You are the only person that was ever kind to me besides Savior. You’re my only friend and I worried so much about you suffering with the horrible people from the outside world. Knowing that I could bring you here, where it’s safe, I feel that I can finally pay you back for how kind you were to me when we met.”

“So you were trying to protect me, is this it?” MC asked

“Yes! I  _ am _ trying to protect you. Especially from that redhead and that hypocrite that runs the RFA. I was so worried about you all those days! But now you’re here. No one will hurt you here, ever.” Ray took a deep breath “But… you see, by taking the pledge according to the Mint Eye’s rules, you will be free to roam around this place. To take said pledge, you must go through a procedure that… well, it might be painful depending on the person. It was really painful… for me.”

“You never told me that” she mentioned. “Why don’t we walk while we chat?”

She gave him a soft tug in his hand, making him smile and follow her through the garden. MC was not having time to organize her thoughts and walking would help her think. She truly needed to think.

“Even back then, you accepted me the way I am. I never had a chance to feel accepted by anyone, so, I’ve been thinking about this all day long. I thought… I  _ think  _ that you’ll trust me just like I trust you, noona, won’t you?”

“Of course, Ray. I trust you…”

“I trust you too!” he cheered “For this ceremony you get to drink a specially made elixir for clean- I mean, for orientation. Then, you finally become one of us. Since it can be painful for some people, I’m scared that you’ll be in pain after drinking it, just like me. People must drink the elixir in order to see the truth, but you… You already trust us so much… I do not think that you have to drink it.”

“Is it that painful to drink?” MC asked

“Yes. My head hurts, my heart throbs… It’s really difficult to work when the elixir is in effect.” he nodded “I used to take it a lot in the past, but now I take it only when it’s really necessary. Anyways, it’s our secret that you did not go through orientation, okay?”

MC smiled. “Sure. Thank you for looking after me” she sat down at a bench nearby “Now, Ray… About the RFA… What is Savior planning to do with them?”

“Oh… The RFA…” he sat down near her “They are a threat to us. Not everyone, there are only two dangerous people there. V and… Well, and the  _ traitor _ . You should beware them. I know that you became really close with that redhead, but he is not to be trusted. Both of them gave nothing but pain to me and Savior, we came to this place because we could not stand what they had done to us. I… I don’t want to talk about the details”

“It’s okay. Just tell me next time, all right?”

It did not seem right. MC remembered how the boys were as kids, how Saeyoung was so attentive to his brother, caring for every single detail, carrying him on his back the entire afternoon and focusing every bit of his attention on his twin. She remembered how they hugged each other and Saeyoung’s swollen eyes that showed how much he had cried while looking for his brother. What had Rika done to Saeran? And why?

“I will, I promise,” he nodded. “The reason why I attacked the chatroom was to save the RFA members from V. He is tricking all of them, just like he did to me in the past. He is a hypocrite, a dirty liar… You should never trust him! I realized that only after suffering a near death… Anyone that is being exploited by those two deserve salvation. Savior told me that is the only way for me to find peace. Do you think that is true? Do you think that when I finally prove my value I’ll be worthy of happiness and doing what I love?”

“So that is what she told you…” a strange voice said.

Ray stood up and MC followed, seeing one believer standing a few feet away from them. A shiver went down her spine, watching him remove his hood, revealing a young man with bright mint hair. V. 

“V?” she called.

“Saeran… Myung, I came to rescue you, but…”

“You! How come you are here?” Ray asked, protectively getting in front of MC “I knew you would come to ruin this. You always do…”

“Saeran, please calm down”

V’s voice was sad, as if a heavy weight kept on dragging it to the bottom of a pit. He looked at the boy with concern, hurt and… Love, MC thought. The same look she had seen in her grandmother's eyes. 

_ “V and Rika were the closest thing to parents we ever had” Saeyoung had told her “I trusted them with my life” _

“How did you get in here?” Ray cried, tears starting to fall out of his eyes “Stop tormenting us!”

“It’s all a misunderstanding, Saeran…”

“Don’t call me that!” he clenched his hair, his face contorting in pain “Ugh… My head!”

“Sae- I mean, Ray” MC got to his side, placing her hand on his shoulder “Are you alright?”

“I-I am!” Ray answered “Stay back, MC. He is dangerous!”

V took one step in their direction, making Ray back away. 

“Saeran… It pains me to see you like this. This is all my fault…”

“Stop talking” Ray yelled “Stop! I’m not falling for those truthful eyes never again!”

“I’m not the one lying to you. This is all a misunderstanding. Can’t you just listen to me?”

“Get away! Get away! Get away!” 

MC had no reaction, trying to calm Ray however she could while the discussion unfolded in front of her. It was too much.

“You learned how to hack after your brother, didn’t you?”

“I have no brother!” Ray yelled, letting go off his hair and advancing in his direction. “I abandoned this part of myself years ago…!”

“Saeran… you even brought a stranger into this…”

“She is my friend! Stay away from her”

“Your brother is worried about you. Please, let me explain it to you”

“Please, get away” Ray took another step back. 

MC felt that she was watching two people fighting, one that wanted to confront V and another that just wished for him to leave.

“Saeran…” V took two bookmarkers out of his believer robes “I know you were heartbroken as much as you missed him. Look this. You made those for him, this is who you are…”

“No! No!” Ray kept backing away “D-don’t give me this. My savior will be mad if I take it. You never gave me this. I did not see anything”

“You are shivering in fear while trapped by her side… My child, please, I just want to-”

“Don’t call me that!” Ray fell down in his knees “Help! Somebody, help!”

“V, you should leave him alone for now…” MC said, kneeling by Ray’s side.

“I came to take you out of here” V said “I… I can explain you everything, please, Myung, come”

MC stood up, listening to Ray crying on the floor. 

“I’m not leaving without Ray.” she answered “You know about this place… You  _ did _ know what they were doing to him. Don’t you dare, V, tell me to run away and leave my friend behind. I’m not going to. Not until we can save him.”

“That is the only way for me to take you back” V urged.

“No, it isn’t. You can tell the rest of the RFA the truth. Please, V. It’s time. Saeyoung needs to know the truth” she looked to the side, seeing other believers coming their way “You need to leave. Please, don’t abandon us here.”

“I won’t” he said, giving her a kiss on the hairline and leaving his hand on her shoulder “Please… Protect him”

She did not watch him leave, there was no time. As soon as she could, MC kneeled at Ray’s side, stroking his hair.

“Where is the intruder?”

“He disturbed Ray!”

“Get him, over there”

MC hugged Ray, holding him close to her chest. Her friend was not in a good state of mind. That Rika… What could she have done to him?

“I’m too weak” Ray sobbed “I hate myself… I really hate myself. I’m sorry, MC”

“There is nothing to be sorry for. I’m here with you, okay? We are together now”

Ray was silent as he stood up, offering his hand to help her do the same.

“I’ll walk you to your new room. I’ll understand if you get angry at me for being so pathetic.” he said “I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you, Myung”

She followed him in silence back inside. There was still a long way to go before going back to freedom.

. . .

_ “I can promise you that there are square watermelons” V laughed, holding the sixteen year old boy’s hand tight as they walked through the narrow streets of the neighbourhood where he lived. _

_ “I don’t believe you” Saeran giggled. _

_ “There are! Tomorrow I’ll bring you a picture I took of it” V insisted “When have I ever lied to you?” _

_ Saeran kept on laughing. He loved spending the day with hyung and noona. They were the best part of his life. Even on days like that, when noona had to leave early, he still managed to laugh and smile much more than he did in his home.  _

_ They only noticed the cops when they were almost at the front of his house. Saeran saw the yellow strip surrounding the small fence and the neighbours standing outside, watching intently while the cops walked around the home. _

_ “Mom!” Saeran said, letting go off V’s hand and running inside, ignoring the policeman that tried to stop him. _

_ He froze as soon as he reached the door. Mother was lying on the floor, still. The boy could not understand why she was so still, not even her chest moved… Not even her chest. He couldn’t breathe. There was a red puddle, red puddle, red puddle. Blood. V pulled him back, taking him into a hug and allowing Saeran to hide his face in his chest. Mother was too still.  _

_ “Sir, this is a restricted area. No one can come in” the police woman said. _

_ “I’m sorry, ma’am” V answered, taking Saeran away “My brother made a confusion, we are already leaving.” _

_ “I thought that I heard him calling his mother. Is him her son? We are looking for the child in order to get in touch with the father…” _

_ “No, he isn’t. I’m sorry about the confusion…” V answered, opening up the gate “Come, Saeran. Come.” _

_ The boy couldn’t cry, in the same way that he could not stop seeing her body lying on the ground, he was unable to cry. He felt hollow, emptiness filling his chest and mind as if he was nothing. Nothing. Nothing. V talked to him, but he did not listen. He couldn’t listen. He couldn’t cry. V helped him into the car, driving them back to church.  _

_ Saeran did not know when the tears began to fall. If it was at the car, at the church entrance or when they saw Rika in the garden, near the water faucet. All he knew was that hyung and noona hugged him and allowed him to cry, cry, cry. He was alone. Saeyoung had abandoned him. Mother too. Mother. Horrible mother. She had tortured him all his life and, still, he was crying because of her death. Why? He couldn’t tell. It was hurting so bad that the boy accepted when V offered to take him to the kitchen so that they could get some water. Noona promised to join them as soon as she ended up what she was doing.  _

_ When V left with the boy, Rika turned back to the faucet, checking if her hands were clean. She picked the blood stained piece of glass and washed the blood away, smashing the shard to pieces and dropping it down the drain. It had been an accident, just that. Just one tiny accident, she thought. And with a terrific result. There was nothing wrong in freeing a child from the grasp of his abusive mother. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love Saeran/Ray and V interacting, they are absolutely everything for me. 
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love it!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	21. New Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight mentions of child abuse

“Hyung, we’ll be late, come on!” Yoosung said, running out of the bathroom and into Zen’s bedroom, kneeling by his backpack while he brushed his teeth.

“I’m ready and waiting for you, dude” Zen laughed, continuing to type on his phone.

Zen: sorry again for the other day

Ilsung: Hey, don’t worry.

Ilsung: We are fine

Ilsung: I’ve told ya before

Ilsung: Family always comes first

Ilsung: It was an emergency ;)

Zen: Yeah…

Zen: I just feel bad, ya know. 

Zen: I was looking forward for our coffee

Zen: Do you still need my help with the script?

Ilsung: I do

Ilsung: I really do

Zen: Well… I can help you with a lot more than that…

Ilsung: Well, then we should schedule our coffee really soon

Zen: We really do

Zen: If you’ll excuse me

Zen: Gotta go now

Zen: Talk to ya later?

Ilsung: I’ll be waiting <3

“Hyung! We are late!!” Yoosung yelled, stuffing his dirty clothes back into his backpack, still brushing his teeth.

“Dude, chill. First of all, I’m all ready to go. Second, go brush your teeth in the bathroom” Zen said, jumping out of the couch “Come on, kid, you’ll end up dropping toothpaste all over the floor!”

He pushed Yoosung to the side, taking the boy’s clothes and beginning to fold them.

“But they are-”

“Yeah, yeah, the other guys are waiting for us. Go to the bathroom” Zen ordered, throwing the dirty clothes over one chair “We can organize your stuff later, just go brush your teeth so that we can leave.”

With much cost, Zen managed to drag the younger boy out of the apartment, handing him one helmet before hopping on the motorcycle. Taking care of Yoosung was not being such an easy task as he had previously anticipated. The kid was supposed to be an adult, but he had no common sense about life, apparently. Besides the dramatic talk about how V was a horrible liar, Zen was finding it difficult to deal with his friend’s unending mourn for Rika. It was undeniable that Yoosung was not doing so fine. In spite of all that, he enjoyed the company. Living alone could be a tiring experience and Yoosung did make it a lot more fun, that was for sure.

He parked his motorcycle a few blocks away from Jumin’s penthouse, just as Saeyoung had instructed. That weird kid, setting up meetings on the last minute because of some weird stuff he found. The time did not matter to Zen. As long as they managed to find MC and Saeyoung’s brother, that was enough for him. 

The reception of the building was luxurious, well lit and decorated with refined pieces of art and furniture. The temperature inside was much warmer than in the outside, creating a comfortable environment for the two men that were still dripping from the rain they had just faced. 

“I’m sorry, but only residents and authorized personnel can come in.” the male receptionist said as soon as they went through the door, looking at them up and down. “Are you trying to… raise funds for some charity?”

“What?” Zen was confused “No, we are here to visit Jumin Han. He’s a…” he took a deep breath “ _friend_ ”

The receptionist took another look at them and their soaked wet clothes, a pretentious smile forming in his lips as he seemed to reach a conclusion.

“I don’t think so” he answered, flashing them with a bitter smile “Mr. Han is a busy man and you must contact his assistant in order to schedule a meeting with him, not show up in his building looking like this”

That guy was managing to piss Zen off, which was not very hard to do. The actor stood in front of Yoosung and leaned against the counter.

“Let me get this straight. _You_ decided that _we_ cannot be Jumin’s friends because _you_ think that _we_ don’t dress as nicely as those posh silver spoons that live here?” Zan dabbed his finger on the counter “That is absurd!”

“Can’t you even check our names?” Yoosung asked, standing by Zen’s side “Jumin-hyung said that he would authorize our entrance beforehand”

The receptionist took a deep breath, annoyed by having to deal with them.

“Fine” he said “Names?”

“Yoosung Kim and Hyun Ryu” Zen voiced.

The man’s face grew pale as he checked their names in the computer. Recomposing himself, he smiled at the duo.

“I see it here. I need your identification documents in order to register your entrance and give you the elevator passes”

Zen rolled his eyes, listening to Yoosung giggling by his side. Snob bastard. They went to the elevator quickly after that, pressing the button to the penthouse floor.

“You are precisely on time” Jumin said as he opened the door, allowing them to come through “Good evening”

“Your gatekeeper is an asshole” Zen stated, while Jumin closed the door “He did not want to let me and Yoosung in because, apparently, we are not well dressed enough to get into your building”

Jumin looked surprised before smirking lightly. “Well, even if I do think that you need to dress yourself better, I shall forward the complaint to the building administrator tomorrow morning”

While Zen continued to yell at the businessman, Yoosung cheerfully walked up to Jaehee, helping her to set the table and giving her the sweet pie they had picked up on their way to the apartment.

“How much longer before Saeyoung gets here? He made such a fuss about us all meeting tonight that I thought he would be the first one to arrive” Zen asked, pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking the messages “Actually, where can we leave the helmets?” he asked, raising his eyes to Jumin

“You may leave it by the door. If they are wet because of the rain, you may leave them in the laundry room so that they will dry” he stopped, staring at the helmet Yoosung had left on the couch “Essentially, anywhere but _my couch_ ”

“Sorry, hyung” Yoosung cried, running towards the helmet and picking it up “Zen-hyung, give me yours too. I’ll take them to the laundry.”

While Elizabeth the third joyfully followed Yoosung, chasing his loose shoelaces, Jaehee approached them, staring at her phone.

“Sir, Saeyoung texted me asking us to open the backdoor for them. The service entrance.”

“Why would they come through the service entrance?” Jumin asked.

“Maybe he is coming undercover because he is a secret agent on the run?” Zen suggested.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Jumin intervened, walking towards the entrance in the laundry room “Saeyoung is not going to come dressed up at this hour to a respectable building like this one”

“I shall remind you all that Saeyoung is bringing a friend to help with the investigation, so let’s all behave in order to give him a nice impression of the RFA” Jaehee hurried to say

As soon as he opened the door, the bright voice they all knew so well resonated in the hallway, coming from a figure wearing a hat and a uniform from a pizza delivery. He was accompanied by another man, much less cheerful, both of them carrying pizzas on their hands.

“Hey, hyung!” Saeyoung smiled.

“You were saying?” Zen laughed, looking at the scene unfolding in front of his eyes. “Nice to see you, Saeyoung” he smiled, giving his friend a soft punch in the arm “How are you holding up?”

The younger men raised his shoulders. “Fine, as far as possible. Gotta keep moving right?” he forced himself to smile “It’s good to see you too, hyung”

“Oh, my…” Jaehee exclaimed, rushing to help them with the pizzas “Zen, please, pick some of the boxes too” she smiled at Saeyoung “I’m glad to see you, Saeyoung. I have already said this to you, but we’ll do everything as possible to find MC”

“Yes, we truly will” Jumin reassured, shaking both agent’s hands “Thank you for trusting us with all this, Saeyoung. We’ll stand by your side through all this.

“Thank you Jumin-hyung, Jaehee-noona… I couldn’t do it without your help”

Having all the pizzas vanished from his arms and the door closed behind him, Saeyoung stretched a bit, pointing to his companion.

“Guys, this is Vanderwood, he is my-”

Before he could finish his sentence, two arms wrapped around him, making him stumble back with the impact of Yoosung against him. Even if shocked, he hugged his friend back, smiling. The two of them had always had a different connection. Besides being the one whose age was closer to his, Yoosung had the quality of being as kind as he was naive, and this made him one of the most truthful and supportive people Saeyoung had ever met. The blonde boy was his best friend, even more, just like a younger brother who he had to take care of.

“Hey, Yoosung” he said. “How are you doing?”

“I was worried” the younger murmured, without letting go of him. “I kept picturing you thinking about your brother and MC. We’ll solve this, Saeyoung… You know that, right?”

“Hell yeah, I know” Saeyoung chuckled, brushing Yoosung’s hair and pushing him back to look into his eyes “We’ll do it together, right?”

“Exactly” Yoosung smiled “Together”

They exchanged smiles before Saeyoung turned to the rest of the group.

“As I was saying, this is Vanderwood, he is my-”

“I’m his supervisor” Vanderwood interrupted.

“Dude, I was going for ‘friend’” Saeyoung said, pouting.

“Wait, your maid is a guy?” Zen asked, walking towards them.

“Your _what_?” Vanderwood asked, looking at Saeyoung and following him to the living room.

“Hyung, you’re being rude. Guys can be maids too” Yoosung said, sitting on the chair.

“I’m not a maid,” Vanderwood stated.

“I’m just asking because of the photo!” Zen defended himself “I know that man can be maids, it’s just that in the photo he sent, it was a woman”

“That was Saeyoung crossdressing!” Yoosung laughed “I’m sure that Mr. Vanderwood does not wear a dress when he is cleaning Saeyoung’s home”

“I’m not a maid” Vanderwood repeated, looking at Saeyoung “What the hell did you tell them?”

Saeyoung laughed. The familiar chaos of the RFA gathering’s gave him a sense of safety he had not felt in the last days. He had missed them more than he wished to admit, but even if he allowed himself to be happy for those brief moments, he was aware of the dark road ahead of him and the challenges that they would still face. 

“Where is she?” Saeyoung asked, looking around the apartment until he saw the white cat coming in his direction “Elly!”

Before Jumin could stop him, the young redhead threw himself on the floor, hugging the purring cat and allowing her to lay on his lap.

“Please, be careful not to hurt Elizabeth the Third” Jumin said “I already asked you not to-”

“Sir, I believe that Elizabeth the Third could be a good support for Saeyoung at hard times like this” Jaehee intervened “It’s undeniable how loving and comprehensive she is. At least, that is what _you_ say about her, sir.

Jumin took a deep breath, pinching his nose. “Fine. You may _play_ with her for a bit”

Jumin made them all calm down and take their seats around the table after the pizza boxes were opened over the counter and each of them had served themselves. Saeyoung took his backpack and opened up his computer. It was time to talk. He stroked Elizabeth’s fur as she fell asleep on his lap. 

“I’ve asked for us to gather because there are things about me and my brother that cannot be discussed in the chatroom. I… At first, I did not think that I should tell you what I’m about to, because of the danger this might put you in, but seeing the circumstances, I do not think that we have any other choice. Besides, we’ve reached a point where your safety resides on the most information you can get.” he took a deep breath, crossing his hands over the table “Vanderwood here used to work with me in our old agency. We’ve… I’ve kinda dragged both of us to a point of no return with our boss and now he is helping me out with this whole mess, especially regarding the mission of finding and rescuing Myung and Saeran.”

“Me and Seven are conducting a thorough investigation. He will add me in your chat app so that I can serve as his backup and vice-versa.” Vanderwood added “If something happens to one of us, the other will be able to notify you. Also, he has been sharing with me the data collected by the intelligence unit at C&R - great job, by the way - and from now on, if it’s fine with you, we think that it’s best for us to create a shared server so that we can also give you any information that we find.”

“It is indeed a good idea and you will be more than welcomed in the RFA chats and in the intelligence unit. Assistant Kang, do you believe that such a server is manageable?” Jumin asked.

“Yes” Jaehee answered, taking notes in her notepad “I shall forward this request to the employees of the unit as soon as our meeting is over”

“Thank you” Seven said “I don’t say this enough to you, Jaehee. Thank you a lot for working this hard to help. You too, hyung. We could not cover as much informations and fight against Saeran’s attacks without you two” the young man took a deep breath “Now, I’ll tell you something that will for sure put you in danger and that’s why you _need_ to follow any safety recommendations that come from me or Vanderwood from now on.” he scratched the back of his head “The Prime Minister is my father”

Silence fell over the room as all the surprised eyes stared back at him. Saeyoung waited for them to talk. He was aware that it was too much and it would get worse, so he would tell it all slowly, let the information sink before moving forward.

“The Prime Minister from this country? With whom I had a meeting a couple days ago?” Jumin asked, watching Saeyoung nod “I need some wine”

“No” Saeyoung interjected before he could think “Please, no alcohol. Not today”

Jumin stared at him for a moment. Saeyoung had known the businessman long enough to recognize whenever he was puzzled by something. Saeyoung was puzzling. Usually, the smell of alcohol was not something that triggered him. He would never enjoy it, but he had grown used to it because of his missions. Still, at that moment he felt that he was too vulnerable to be able to deal with anything that reminded him of her. 

“It’s fine,” Jumin answered, sitting down “No alcohol today.” he adjusted his tie “Well… That explains why V was so disturbed by his presence”

“Wait, Se- I mean, Saeyoung” Yoosung called “So… You’re rich from birth? I mean, being the son of a politician and all…”

That comment made a sting of pain cross his heart. He knew that it was unreasonable to be sad about such a thing, Yoosung had no way of knowing, still, the reality had always been so further away from that.

“No, not at all. We grew up in that slum right next to the city, in the southwest side of town” Saeyoung answered “Me and Saeran are his illegitimate son’s. I don’t really know their story, but he and my mother were never married. I don’t even know if they had a relationship at some point.” he sighed “Our mother was not a nice person. She blackmailed him saying that she would tell the truth to the media about us if he didn’t send her money. Well, being the amazing guy he is, soon enough he reached the conclusion that in order for her to stop all he had to do was kill me and Saeran”

“What?” Zen exclaimed “Are you kidding me? This jerk tried to kill you guys?”

“Yes, he did” Saeyoung said “More than once, actually.”

“And your mother, how did she… act after his murdering attempts?” Jaehee asked.

“Our mother…” he took a deep breath, there was no point in dragging that discussion further “Our mother was a crazy drunkard. As long as we survived for her to blackmail him and there was beer in the fridge, she didn't care much about anything else. She abused us a lot when we were kids. V and Rika knew that, they knew everything.”

“V seemed very hostile towards him when we had our meeting” Jumin pointed out, standing up and pacing around the room “Now I comprehend why… Perhaps the reason why he approached us was not V’s photographs after all”

Saeyoung nodded as silence fell once more. He knew that it was too much. 

“I’m telling you all this because the Prime Minister is in our tracks. I don’t want him to harm you, so you need to act as if I don’t exist. Please. For all of our sakes.” he scratched the back of his neck “I don’t know what he can do from now on, but I guarantee that he is not the kind of guy that gives up easily. Just be careful. And no talking about him through messages unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

Yoosung stood up, clutching his fists tight.

“We need to do something to protect you and Saeran” he said “I mean, there’s gotta be a way for us to make him pay for that! Even if we don’t talk about him wanting to murder you guys, I’m sure that we can get proofs that you are his sons and also proof of the conditions you had to grow up in. He probably knew about your mother and just allowed it to happen! He made it worse, actually!”

“Yoosung…”

“No, Saeyoung! We can do something! Post it online!” he interrupted, looking at Saeyoung “Hyung, we need to act. We can’t let him go like this. I went to the neighbourhood you grew up in with Rika, because of community service. The houses are really close together, I’m sure that we can reach out to some witnesses of how your mother treated you. People must have called the cops on her a few times, reported… We can take those files and make it public. It will send a warning for him to back off or we’ll show more!”

“Yoosung, sit down. Please” Saeyoung said.

He was thankful for his friend’s predisposition to help, but Yoosung was too naive. He did not know anything about the world. Saeyoung tried to smile as he watched the younger boy sit back on his chair.

“Do you know how many times the police were called to my home?” Saeyoung asked “None. They were never called. No one ever even knocked on our door to help. Because people don’t want to get involved, Yoosung. It’s really complicated. If there is one thing I learned in life is that when children are crying and asking for help, people rather pretend they are not listening and carry on with their lives, because the other option is too hard.” Yoosung opened his mouth to talk, but Saeyoung raised his hand to stop him “We’ll solve this. But this is a big fight and it involves a subject that people usually want to ignore rather than address. I’d like to expose as minimum as possible about me and my brother in the process. Also, I’m just warning you. We’ll have plenty of time to talk about this later on. Now, we have a much more important issue to take care of” he turned his computer to face the rest of the group, showing them an image of a mansion with a green roof “I present to you, the Mint Eye headquarters. With the help of the intelligence unit, we managed to find some very interesting satellite pictures and other information scattered on the deepest corners of the internet. This is where Myung and Saeran are”

“So now we gotta get there and take them out, right?” Zen asked.

“These sort of infiltration missions are much more complicated than that” Vanderwood answered “Even if we managed to locate the building, we need to establish many other factors before even starting planning going in. For example, we do not know where Myung is being held hostage, if her life is being threatened, how the building is guarded, what is Saeran’s function within the cult, if his life is being threatened as well… There are many aspects that we must comprehend before thinking about getting them out of there.” 

“And the only ones that will infiltrate are Vanderwood and me.” Saeyoung stated “All of you will stay put, in safety”

Zen and Yoosung erupted in a series of complaints, demanding to help in the field and stating how they would not allow them to act on their own.

“We have experience in this,” Saeyoung explained. “Besides, Jumin-hyung and Jaehee-noona will keep helping us through the intelligence unit. You two will help me with something else. Networking. I need information about this Mint Eye people. And you two know a lot of people. Yoosung, you talk to your colleagues, Zen, you get in touch with actors. We need information and common people are the best way to get it. Deal?”

“You can count on us” Zen nodded “And Saeyoung, if you need anything else…”

“Don’t worry… I’m already bothering you enough” Saeyoung said

“Dude, come on…” Zen rolled his eyes “You know how desperate I am to abandon the single life and I cancelled a date to be here. You are more important than anything right now. We care about you, dude.”

“Yes…” Jumin agreed, dropping Elizabeth the Third on Zen’s lap, making the actor run around the room yelling for the cat to stay away “Your well being is our top priority just as much as MC’s and Saeran’s”

Saeyoung giggled. Those two would never change. 

“Now, it’s the hard part… I found out something serious” Saeyoung stated, waiting for Zen to sit back on his chair “I do not know what this means exactly, but nevertheless it seemed like something worth warning you” he turned his computer back to them “I took this image through satellite. Can you recognize her?”

The quality of the image was distorted, but they still could see the female figure walking through was seemed like a garden. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulders. 

“Rika?” Yoosung asked “What is this image? Saeyoung, what is this image?” he yelled “If this is one of your stupid jokes-”

“It isn’t” Saeyoung answered “I took it yesterday. I have no idea of what is going on, but something is for sure. Rika is alive and she is at Mint Eye”

“V said she died” Jumin stated “I… V told us that he saw her throwing herself off a cliff”

“Well, that would not be the first time when V lied” Saeyoung cut conversation short “I don’t know how much V and Rika are involved with this Mint Eye thing, but given that my brother ended up there, I’m assuming they are really deep in this.”

“That is impossible,” Jumin said, leaning forward. 

“Rika would never participate in that!” Yoosung yelled, standing up.

Saeyoung had already seen Yoosung angry, but never Jumin. The older man frowned, looking deep into his eyes, in a mixture of annoyance and desperation for the laugh to come and for Saeyoung to announce the joke. But it did not happen. That was the truth that Saeyound had had to face and that, at that moment, he would have to make his friend see. Yoosung was Rika’s family, Jumin was V’s friend. They had faced too much in the last six months, Saeyoung knew that the news would be hard to take in. Still, he had to protect them, and information was protection.

“Remember in the chatroom, when V asked me not to look inside a drawer?” he asked “Well… never tell a hacker not to do something.”

He threw the fliers and papers over the table, all of them displaying the logo of a single mint eye. Jaehee covered her mouth in surprise, picking up one of the papers to look at them.

“Did you find this inside…”

“Yes” Saeyoung answered “Myung opened it with me and we decided to hold back the information until we could find out what the hell V wanted from us. I would ask him, but he disappeared and did not even see the message about our gathering tonight.” he looked at Jumin, who was staring at the pamphlets, and Yoosung, who was already crying “I know that it is hard to take. They were your friends, Jumin, and Yoosung, Rika was your family. I know that it’s hard because they were my family too. Like I said, I don’t know what the hell this means, but please be very careful if any of them contact you from now on. Please, Jumin. For all of our sakes”

“I won’t lose my trust on V so easily” Jumin answered “He is and will always be my best friend. But, I comprehend the situation and I assure you that I will proceed with caution until all of this is explained. I am sure that this is all a misunderstanding”

Yoosung turned to Jumin, his face red in anger. “Misunderstanding? Are you really going to keep your blind faith on V after this?” he stood up “I think that it’s pretty clear what happened here. He founded this weird cult thing and dragged Rika into this. That’s so obvious!”

“Yoosung, calm down. We don’t know anything about this to jump into wild conclusions like this!” Saeyoung said, slightly annoyed by his friend’s harsh reaction. 

“You are going to keep defending him too? He dragged your brother into this!”

“I don’t know what happened to my brother” Saeyoung answered, standing up as well “I know that V _and_ Rika were involved. If anyone here has a blind faith in someone, Yoosung, that person is you. Rika was amazing, but you need to grow the fuck up and realize that she was not perfect.”

“She was a great person!”

“Well, does a great person almost blind her fiancé in a fight?” Saeyoung yelled “That’s what she did, Yoosung. V is getting blind and it’s all because she messed up with his eyes. So no, I’m not crossing the ‘perfect Rika’ out of my list of suspects. You have no idea of how frightened I was of her hurting my brother, but V swore to me that she would never do anything against him. That could be a lie too.”

“Rika would never do something like that!” Yoosung shook his head “V must have done some-”

“Don’t finish that sentence” Saeyoung walked in Yoosung’s direction, making the boy back away “Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Yoosung. I don’t care how much you hate V right now, you have no right of blaming him for Rika’s abuse. Don’t you fucking dare try to justify abuse to me.” Saeyoung felt his heart beating faster, but he did not stop staring at his friend. He loved Yoosung, but sometimes he got on his nerves. He was too naive about the world around him. Saeyoung had grown up too fast, but his friend was growing up too slow. “You need to grow up. Stop being a whiny brat and start to deal with things. Do you think no one else suffered with Rika’s ‘death’? Do you think that Jumin is having the time of his life losing two of his friends like this? Everyone is having to deal with stuff, so do something useful instead of complaining about everything all day long.”

Yoosung kept on staring at Saeyoung with tears falling down his cheeks before he turned around and bursted out of the door. The redhead took two steps back, falling back on his chair.

“I’ll talk to him,” Zen said, placing his hand on Saeyoung’s shoulder. “We’ll solve this. Be cool, alright. He’ll come along”

Saeyoung could barely hear anything while Zen gave his goodbyes to the others and ran after Yoosung. His breathing accelerated. The pain on his chest was intense, too intense. Before he could hold back, he felt the tears running down his cheek. He should not cry.

“Breathe” Vanderwood said, kneeling by the side of Saeyoung’s chair. That was not the first time when Vanderwood had to help him go through a bad anxiety attack. “Breathe kid, dammit. It’s just your anxiety coming up, that’s all.” he turned to Jumin and Jaehee “Can one of you fetch him a glass of water?”

“I’ll take it” Jumin said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

Weak, weak, so weak. Saeyoung had always hated crying in front of other people. After he started to open up, holding back had been more difficult than before. How pathetic should he seem, moping around because of Yoosung. _V must have done something._ That was always the excuse. You are beaten because you messed something up. You always deserve it because you made something bad. He hated that. He hated to hear Yoosung saying that. Slowly, Jaehee kneeled near Saeyoung too, placing her hand on his arm. 

“Saeyoung… Just give him time. You know how Yoosung can be stubborn sometimes, specially regarding Rika. But he cares about you and the RFA so much. He won’t be mad at you for long, you’ll see. In fact… I truly think that he is madder at Rika.” she stroked his hair “He just can’t find a way to admit it to himself. Everything will turn out fine, alright?” 

He nodded, “Thank you, noona”

As soon as Jumin brought him water, Jaehee announced that she would go home in order to give the new instruction to the intelligence unit crew. Like that, their meeting was over. 

Saeyoung and Vanderwood walked together towards their car after leaving the apartment, but as soon as Saeyoung opened the door, he stopped. He and Vanderwood would hit the road soon and even if they were experienced, he could not predict if he would manage to come back. It was a harsh thought, but that was the reality of his life. He had always known that.

“I’ll meet you back in the apartment, okay?” he said, closing the car door. “I need to sort something out”

“Are you sure?” Vanderwood asked “Will you be safe?”

“Yeah” he answered “I’ll be there soon” 

. . .

Saeyoung did not have to wait much before Zen opened up the door. 

“Saeyoung?” the actor asked “What are you doing here?”

“Can I talk to Yoosung?” he asked.

Zen took a deep breath, signaling for him to come inside.

“He is in the bathroom. The door is unlocked, but he can’t stop crying. I don’t know what to do” Zen scratched the back of his head “It’s not your fault, I just think that… Seeing Rika and all… It was a whole lot to him” the older man looked at him “I think if he’ll listen to someone right now, it will be you”

Slowly, Saeyoung knocked on the door. He could listen to his friend crying inside.

“Hey, buddy” he said “I’m coming in, okay?”

When he opened the door, he found Yoosung curled up on the floor, leaning against the wall with his head hidden in his knees. His cellphone was thrown to the side, displaying a picture of Rika. Saeyoung kneeled by his side while Zen stood by the open door, observing.

“What’s going on, Yoosung?” Saeyoung asked “Please, talk to me… Just… I’m worried. All of us are worried.”

Yoosung took a deep breath, looking down. He shivered as the sob came out of his chest.

“I just… I can’t picture her doing something bad” he whimpered “I can’t. She was always there for me, just… She took care of me and supported me at all times. I-I chose my major because of her and…” he stopped to breathe once more “If she is alive… Why did she abandon me like this?”

He hugged Saeyoung, who allowed him to lean against his chest. The younger boy sobbed, clenching Saeyoung’s shirt tight. It had been a few months since the last time Saeyoung had seen him crying like that.

“We don’t have final answers yet, Yoosung. We don’t. I wish I could give you an explanation, but I don’t have it either.” he said, brushing his friend’s hair while tears fell off his eyes “It hurts. I’m not going to lie, it hurts a lot. V and Rika were the closest I ever had to parents, so simply picturing the idea of them hurting my brother and doing all this is… Is beyond any pain I can describe. But at times like this we need to keep strong. And I don’t mean ‘not crying’. You should cry if you need to. Crying is not bad. But placing the blame is. I know that you are freaking mad at V, but you can’t blame him like this.”

Yoosung nodded, without letting go of the hug.

“What made me really mad was that you tried to blame him for Rika hurting him. It’s not right. There were other times when she did hurt him. He would always brush it off, but looking at it in the bigger picture… I don’t know. It just doesn’t sound like a nice relationship.” Saeyoung continued “And I’ve been there, on the other end of a bad relationship. I know what it is to be hurt and I know what it is to be blamed for your injuries. My whole childhood was that. To hear you saying something like that, I just… I got really mad. But I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry”

“I was a jerk back there” Yoosung hugged him tighter “I’m the one who should be sorry. You’re right, hyung. I need to grow up”

Zen kneeled beside the two crying boys, embracing both of them into a hug. That night, Saeyoung texted Vanderwood to say that he would go back in the morning. If that could be the last night with his friends, he would not cut it short. 

. . .

_Luciel followed Rika through the hallway of the building. It had not been long since he had returned to Korea, but V and Rika had already asked him to be part of the charity organization they had founded. That was not something he was eager to do, but there was nothing that V and Rika could ask him that he wouldn’t do. He owed them too much, there would not be any problem in meeting some people and helping them to plan some parties._

_“I’m not good with people,” he said, catching up to her “Noona… Maybe you should ask someone else, I… I’m not good with people and I have other things to worry about too. I don’t want to cause you any trouble”_

_“There is nothing to worry about, Luciel” she smiled “It’s just me, V, my cousin and V’s friend, Jumin. Think about it like this: you already know half of the people in the room._

_“I can’t have contact with people…” he stated “If the agency finds out…”_

_“Please, Luciel. It’s already been four years since you joined them, I am sure that they are not watching you as intently as before. Besides, you’ll help us mostly with security. You do not need to worry about anything” she brushed his hair with her fingers. He had grown much taller than her many years before, but whenever noona did so, he still felt like the tiny eleven year old that had met her in church. “Also, you need friends. Yoosung is about your age, you’ll get along well. I know you will.” listening to Luciel sigh, she added “Luciel, please… For me”_

_He couldn’t say no to her. He owed her for protecting his brother, for taking care of them for so many years. Rika had been the mother they never had, he could not deny a favor to her._

_When she opened the door to the office, he recognized V right away, who stood up and gave him a hug. He liked V’s hugs, they were warm and gave him the sense of protection that was so foreign to the eighteen year old._

_“I’m happy to see you,” V said, which made Luciel smile. He liked the idea of being missed, it was less lonely. “Come meet the others” he said, guiding Luciel towards the meeting table where two other people were sitting. One of them seemed like a teenager, with brown hair and big purple eyes. The other was older than Luciel, wearing a neatly clean suit. “These are Yoosung Kim, Rika’s cousin; and Jumin Han, my childhood friend”_

_“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Luciel” Jumin said, bowing._

_“Hey!” the younger boy smiled “Nice to meet you!”_

_“Hi” Luciel answered before looking down. He did not want to be there._

_“Why don’t you and Yoosung get to know each other a bit?” Rika asked, “V, Jumin and me just have to finish discussing something and we’ll start our meeting”_

_Shyly, Luciel sat down near the dark haired kid, who was smiling at him._

_“Rika told me that you are one year older than me!” Yoosung said, turning to face Luciel “Are you in college?”_

_“No…” Saeyoung answered, crossing his legs over the chair “I kind of graduated early. I mean… I was in college, but I am not… anymore?” he laughed awkwardly “Sorry, it got a bit confusing”_

_“That’s so cool!” Yoosung laughed “Where did you study?”_

_“Abroad, in the US” Luciel answered, relaxing a bit “What about you?”_

_“I’m in high school still” Yoosung chuckled “It’s like hell right now, but I’m really hoping to get into one of those great colleges”_

_“I’m sure you will”_

_For the first time in years, Luciel was truly having fun. Yoosung was nice and something on him reminded him of- No. He should not think about him._

_“Is your name really Luciel? That’s so different! Are your parents from outside the country?”_

_The kid for sure talked a lot. Also, he asked a lot. Usually, that would annoy Luciel, but at that time it was different._

_“I am Korean, my parents are Korean too,” he laughed. “It’s my baptismal name… Kinda complicated situation, actually. But you can call me Seven if you want, everybody does!”_

_“Like a secret agent?” Yoosung giggled._

_“Kind of” Seven laughed “At least I have a cool nickname”_

_The two boys laughed together._

_“So, what do you do for fun?” Yoosung asked._

_“Ugh, I did not have much time in college…” Seven scratched the back of his neck “But I do like watching movies”_

_“I love watching movies!” Yoosung exclaimed “Did you see that they’ll release the adaptation of The Lady of the Bracelets really soon?”_

_“Hell, yeah!” Seven answered “I love Tolkien”_

_“Me too! We could watch it together, if you want to”_

_Seven wanted. He truly did. But it was forbidden, agents were never supposed to have friends. Still, he wished to go. To have a friend for once in his life. He had already been deprived of his brother, the least he should be able to do was enjoy a movie with a friend. It sounded fair. It was crazy, irresponsible, and for sure it would get him in trouble with Vanderwood, but Seven looked deep in Yoosung’s eyes._

_“We really should go together”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zen being a panicked bisexual is my religion. That's it.
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love it!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	22. Small Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, mentions of child abuse ahead

The light of the Sun never reached Ray’s bedroom. The only brightness he had contact with was the light reflected from the computer screens and the one that hung in his ceiling. It was not the most beautiful bedroom in Magenta.  _ You should be grateful for that. _ He was. Wasn’t he?  _ Those stupid thoughts were not here before she came. _

Ray shook his head, reaching towards the water bottle on the table. His eyes were hurting from working all night long. He had let Savior down by allowing the hypocrite to roam around like that.  _ Can’t do anything right.  _ So he kept on working, fighting against  _ traitor,  _ enhancing the system, anything to show how valuable he could be, to prove that he was needed.  _ No one needs a filthy bug like you.  _ Even if the weak light on the ceiling and the brightness of the monitors gave him a headache, he continued to work in the tiny room that served as his bedroom. It was not beautiful like the rest of paradise,  _ but it’s what you deserve.  _

_ “Wash those dishes for me before you get what you deserve” mother snared as she swept the floor “Idiot. Where is that damn brother of yours, Saeran? That rotten, Saeyoung… He’ll see it when he gets home. Where would that termite run off to all the time?”  _

_ “Please… D-don’t be mad…” Saeran murmured, keeping his eyes fixed on the dishes in the sink “I-I don’t know where he is, I m-mean it...” _

_ By the corner of his eye, he could see mother stop to look at him, making him raise his head to her. _

_ “How come you know nothing all the time? Seriously, such an useless airhead…” she shook her head, going back to sweeping “Useless parasite. Even the sight of you is pissing me off” she looked back at him “Who do you think you are staring at?” _

_ “N-nothing” he answered, lowering his head again and closing his eyes. No. No. No. _

_ “Are you rebelling now just because you’ve grown a millimeter taller? Listen up, Saeran” she dropped the broom on the floor, walking in his direction, but the boy did not move. He was too frightened to do so. “People like us can’t survive in this world without losing sanity… without living like scoundrels. This is how bugs are supposed to live. Nobody among us should dare try to keep their head up to anyone. You should know your place” she pulled him by his shoulder, but the boy refused to look at her. If he was good, there was a chance for her not to hurt him so much “So stop making a fuss and stay silent like a grave. Stop pissing me off!” she let go off him, going back to her broom.  _

_ The boy wanted to cry, but he didn’t. It would only make things worse for him. Like that, Saeran turned back to the dishes, trying to control the pain in his chest and the lack of air in his lungs. _

_ “How dare you look at me like that. I’m the only person that would waste my time and money with you, bug. Would you rather be thrown on the street, to be killed by your father? Everything you have, you deserve it. Everything. I make sure that you just get what you deserve. So know your place, Saeran Choi.” she yelled, looking at him “You’re weak and stupid. You should consider yourself blessed if you manage to keep breathing. Nothing will change even if you grow up. Once a bug, always a bug.” _

Ray jumped on his chair, shaking. He had drifted off. His breathing accelerated. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t sleep.  _ Work, bug. _ Ray was so weak, so stupid, such an idiot. Sleeping like that, what good would that bring to anyone? He was in charge of security, that was his task, his role.  _ Useless parasite. Work before you get what you deserve. _ He had everything he needed. Savior had been kind, so kind. He had a bedroom, a bed, his computers. He deserved that, nothing more.  _ Wishing for more is stupid.  _ Ray was not allowed to think.  _ Ray is too stupid to think.  _ But sometimes Ray allowed himself to imagine.

_ “One day, I’m going to buy a castle.” Saeyoung said as he swept the floor “A really big one” _

_ Saeran looked at him, raising his eyes from the kitchen floor. Mother had told them to clean the house while she was away, so for the past hour he and his brother had been fixing the mess their mother usually made during her drunken episodes. He was tired and hungry, but he knew that it would be worse if mother arrived and they had not finished the task. _

_ “Where do you buy a castle?” Saeran asked, sitting up.  _

_ “In the… castle… store?” Saeyoung thought “It doesn’t matter where, I’m just saying that I will” he giggled, sitting in front of his brother “And we’ll have the tallest tower in the world, so that we can see the stars really close.” _

_ “And a garden?” Saeran asked, smiling. _

_ “A huge garden” the older boy answered, signaling it with his hands “And we’ll have many employees so that we’ll never have to clean it ourselves” he pointed out, cleaning a drop of foam from his brother’s face. _

_ "Wait -- We?" Saeran asked “Me too?” _

_ “Of course you too!” Saeyoung laughed, jumping back on his feet “It will be our castle. You and me, always together” _

A sharp feeling of pain in his head forced him back to the bedroom and out of his thoughts. That was bad, bad, bad. Why was he thinking about the traitor?  _ This never happened before she arrived. _ Ray shivered, he should never have those thoughts. Never, never, never. Thinking about that meant doubting Savior, and he couldn’t. He couldn’t. He couldn’t.  _ He abandoned us, he hated us, he used us. Filthy abominable traitor, we’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.  _ Ray intertwined his hair in between his fingers, unable to think, unable to breath, pulling it hard as if trying to remove that horrible part of himself that made him cry out of fear during the night.  _ Weak.  _ Stop.  _ Weak.  _ Stop.

The knock on the door repeated itself three times.  _ It could be Savior.  _ Still shivering, Ray got up, stumbling through the room until he reached the doorknob, taking deep breaths before opening the door to find Myung Chae smiling on the other side. Ray stopped, his mind stopped.  _ What is she doing here?  _ He did not know, but it made him happy. Seeing MC made him happy.  _ We have work to do, slam the door and go back inside. _

“Good morning, Ray!” she smiled “How are you doing today?”

“I’m fine” he stuttered, smiling at her “And you?”

“Me too” she answered.

MC was wearing the believer robes that had been left in her bedroom. Ray had always thought that they were gloomy, but she made them cheerful and full of life.  _ Stop thinking about paradise like this.  _ She makes paradise happy.  _ Paradise was always happy. You are the only idiot that cannot see it. Tell her to go away and do your job.  _

“The robe seems a bit large to you, isn’t it?” Ray chuckled.

“Just a tad” she giggled, looking at the robe brushing the floor “But it’s good like this, since it’s really comfy”

“How did you find my room?” he asked, scratching the back of his head and leaning against the doorframe.

MC had spent some time investigating Magenta while she looked for him. After the events of the night before, she had been unable to sleep, replaying her talk with Rika, and Ray and V’s meeting, over and over again in her mind. None of the things she had seen and heard seemed to add up. As she laid in bed after saying goodbye to a weepy Saeran, she kept on remembering Saeyoung’s concerns for his brother. How he had cried and told her about his efforts of protecting Saeran.  _ I made so many promises for him that I would always be by his side, protect him from everything,  _ he had said when they sat together in front of the computer. After that, she heard him saying many times how much he missed his brother. It was a pain that she could not even imagine. They had talked extensively about rescuing Saeran, getting back on those horrible people from Mint Eye. After their first encounter, MC assumed that they had messed up with his mind, but after seeing his reaction to V, it all seemed much more serious than she had imagined. 

_ V and Rika promised that they would look after him, protect him and take good care of him, _ Saeyoung had explained. They promised Saeyoung, but up to that moment she had met both sides of the couple, and neither of them had seemed worthy of her trust. It was clear that Rika had done something to Saeran, she was the one behind that entire operation. The control she had over him exceeded anything MC could imagine. His devotion to her seemed unbreakable. Still, he had not forced Myung to drink the elixir. He had not told Rika that he had met Myung when they were children. Swimming in her thoughts, MC wondered if there was more that Saeran had hid away from his beloved savior. She believed that if he had the strength and discernment to keep some memories to himself, that he could still hold as secret other moments of his life. It meant hope of bringing him back. Based on the prior events, V seemed to be trying to help. She had seen him try to bring his memories back, but Ray had panicked, a state of despair flowing down over his mind and clouding his thoughts, as if the sole mention of remembrance was enough to hurt him in unimaginable levels. 

_ “No! No!” Ray had screamed over the sight of the bookmarks “D-don’t give me this. My savior will be mad if I take it. You never gave me this. I did not see anything” _

He did not reject the bookmarks alone. He rejected the idea of upsetting Savior. MC looked at the small bookmark that she took from the floor before heading back inside.  _ For Saeyoung,  _ she read. Saeran was afraid of Rika. For the few minutes that she had been in her presence with him, she had watched her friend tremble in fear and adoration for that strange woman. In a similar, but still different way that he shivered upon V’s sight. V. The mysterious photographer. MC wanted to believe that he was trying to help the twins, but she could not brush off the fact that he knew about Saeran and hid this from Saeyoung. She couldn’t. How was she supposed to trust him, believe in his words, when he had lied about so much? This led her to other questions, such as why he was so accepting of her when she joined the RFA. What seemed like courtesy, now sounded like a deliberate act among the twisted game that his relationship with Rika seemed to be. 

Those thoughts had haunted her until the morning, when she decided that it was time to infiltrate and find out more about the whimsical Magenta. It was not long for her to notice that, even if with it’s twisted ideology, people were not all bad. Some were nicer, others ignored her, but overall, she built a new notion about the people that lived in that place: there were many victims of the Mint Eye. 

“Oh, well… I was a little bored in my room, so I decided to take a walk. As soon as I got into the hallway I met one really nice believer that told me that I should put this on” she pointed to the robes “He also told me that Savior would give me a task later on today, so I was free to roam around. And I did it. Then I got lost, because somehow I ended up in the kitchen” she laughed

“The kitchen is three floors down” he chuckled. It had been long since Ray had laughed for the last time. He could barely remember it, but there he was, talking with her, laughing with her.  _ Being an idiot with her. _

“Fine, I got  _ really  _ lost. But then I started talking to the guys that work down there and they were so nice” she smiled “They even allowed me to make something, and they are really funny. Anyways, I made this for you” she raised a covered plastic container to him.

Ray picked the container up, looking inside to see it filled with sandwiches.

“I kept on thinking about the “chocolate for lunch” thing you mentioned and I couldn’t brush it off. So, since I cannot make you eat every meal properly, I thought of us having breakfast together! So, actually those sandwiches are for you and me, but you get my point. So… Wanna have some breakfast together?”

_ Don’t. You need to work.  _

“Yes. I want to” Ray smiled, allowing her to enter his bedroom. “I-I don’t have a table, but we can eat at my desk…”

“Hey, don’t worry. It’s fine” MC said.

“Here, I’ll sit on the bed” he said, signaling for her to take the chair. “I would have fixed things up if I knew you were coming”

MC looked around at the small room. It was not much different in size than the one she was occupying, but it was much less decorated. The walls were painted in gray, less colorful than the rest of the hallways. Still, it was methodically organized. She giggled thinking how different it was from the general mess that Saeyoung made wherever he passed.

“Everything is fine” she said, placing the bowl in his reach. “You are really organized with your stuff”

As she looked around, she could not pinpoint much that belonged to him. It was almost an office for Mint Eye’s information, without any possession of the boy that lived in there.

“I try to be” he shrugged “I don’t like messy places. The house I grew up in was very dirty, and I would always be forced to clean it up. So I developed the habit of keeping everything very tidy”

“Well, you are doing a great job with that” she said, lifting the bowl in his direction “Come on, take one. We have egg, tuna, cheese…”

Ray hesitated, his hand hovering in the air for a few seconds before he gathered the courage of picking up one tuna sandwich.  _ You did not work enough to eat.  _ Ray was hungry. He knew that his weak body was not worthy of anything good, but Myung had made those sandwiches for them.  _ It doesn’t matter.  _ She would be sad if he didn’t eat.  _ It’ll make her stop being so pathetic.  _ He did not want to see her sad. 

“It’s good,” he said, smiling at her. He hated his smile just as much as he hated the rest of his body. “Thank you, noona”

“You are more than welcome” she said. 

“So… Savior has not told you what you’ll do around here?” he asked.  _ Are you demanding Savior to do something?  _ No. “I mean, Savior knows the exact moment to do something. I’m not implying that she’s taking too long I’m just saying that-”

“Hey, take it easy” she laughed “I get it, don’t worry. But no, she didn’t… I’m still waiting for it” he held her hands together, leaning forward and supporting her elbows over her ankles “So, Ray… I got really worried about you yesterday. How are you feeling today?”

Ray shifted in his seat. He did not wish to talk about that. It had been so shameful, so  _ pathetic.  _ And she had seen it all.  _ You are such a stupid loser.  _

“I’m sorry about that. I must have seemed so pathetic to you…” he scratched the back of his neck, looking down.

“No, Ray, you absolutely did not.” she answered “I’m just worried about you, I’ll never think that you are pathetic”

“You are so kind, noona… A good-for-nothing like me doesn’t deserve to have someone like you worrying about me. Solely the fact that Savior is always caring for me is already much more than I deserve”

Myung felt her heart tighten, listening to those terrible words coming from his friend. 

“After disturbing you like that, it’s fair to give you some explanations” he said, sitting straight in bed and looking at her “T-that man we met in the garden, he has hurt Savior. A lot. He is a liar and he deceived me just as well as he deceived her. He only brought suffering to our lives. Both him and… And  _ traitor. That horrible traitor.”  _ Ray stopped. What was that? Not him, not him, not him.

“Ray, are you alright?” Myung stood up, heading in his direction.

“I’m fine, don’t c-come close” he stopped her, raising his hand “I’m sorry, I was… I was carried away in the moment. Sorry.” he took a deep breath.  _ Idiot. _ He could not appear at that moment “As I was saying, both of them abandoned me. They used me as much as they could and left me to die. Both of them did. And Savior was always there to save me. I’ve always had to strive and fight for survival. Just thinking about them brings me horrible memories.”

The facts did not seem to add up. For sure, she had heard Saeyoung talking about how many efforts they made in order to survive childhood, but he would always say it as he and his brother together, not apart. It was almost as if their memories were different.

“But… Before Saeyoung left, he would take care of you, wouldn’t he?”

The sharp pain came back to Saeran’s head, prompting him to grab his hair once more.  _ What is this stupid girl talking about?  _ He shrieked in pain, unable to focus on anything else but the hollow feeling that slowly crawled it’s way onto his chest.

“Ray… What’s wrong?” MC asked, rushing towards him and sitting by his side in bed “Shh, it’s okay. It’s a tough subject for you, I know.” she held his hands, leading him to loosen the grip on his hair “I won’t ask you anymore about it, alright?”

He nodded, hiding his face on his hands. What she has said did not make any sense.  _ He had always been alone.  _ But before Savior left…  _ He used us, that’s all.  _ He couldn’t remember.  _ There is nothing to remember.  _ He couldn’t remember.  _ You were so filthy weak that he left you. He used us and hated us.  _ But he remembered the hug.

“Can I hug you? Is it okay if I hug you?” MC asked, waiting for him to nod before wrapping her arms around him. 

Her hug was warm, soft. But it wasn’t the one he remembered. Why couldn’t he remember those moments, but he still reminisced the feelings? Where did those memories come from?  _ Stop questioning.  _ Whose was the hug that he remembered so much? It was supposed to be hers, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t, it wasn’t.

MC brushed his hair. “I’m sorry for making you cry”

“I’m fine,” he answered. “Thank you for being here.”

“What do you think of changing the subject?” she asked, leaning back and looking at him.

“Sounds good,” he smiled. MC loved to see that smile. “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be. It is fine. Some things are hard” she picked the bowl of sandwiches, placing it on her lap “Come on, we still have all this”

He laughed, taking another piece from the bowl.

“Thank you, noona.” he said. “A-And thank you for the other day. I like talking to you. It was nice to hear about your college”

“Oh, I’m glad that wasn’t boring,” she laughed. “I get way too excited when I start talking about it”

“Well, you should be excited. It’s something that you like” Ray smiled. “You must have been very thrilled when you got in”

“I was!” Myung answered “I love that college. Besides, since I’m using the money grandma and my parents left me to pay for it, I feel as if I’m honoring their memory by doing it, you know? It makes the whole thing even more special. I wouldn’t give up on it for anything in the world”

Ray stopped. “But, Myung… You can’t go to college now that you are here.”

There was silence in the room for a few seconds. MC had not thought about that. She was missing college, all those days that she was locked on the apartment and, later on, kidnapped by Mint Eye. Had her life become such a mess that she had forgotten about how normal it used to be? Deep in her heart, she was sure that Saeyoung would come to rescue them, but she could not refrain from fearing being stuck in that place forever.

“Don’t be sad, please” he said, taking her hand “We could talk to Savior! I’m sure that she would understand and let you finish college! It would not be a big deal”

_ What are you saying, bug?  _ Savior will be kind to her.  _ Stop assuming what Savior would do, you are too stupid for that.  _ Maybe I know Savior better than you do.

“That would be nice of her” Myung answered, seizing the opportunity “Maybe… she’ll let you come with me”

“To school?” he asked, feeling a pinch of excitement grow in his heart.  _ Don’t even think about it, bug.  _ “B-but I could never do anything outside of here, I’m too… I’m too weak for that”

“But, wouldn’t it be nice? It would be just for a bit.” Myung insisted “Besides, I’ve seen you outside before, in the apartment. I’m sure you would do fine. And I would be there with you!”

Ray closed his eyes.  _ He had everything he needed in paradise.  _ Ray was too weak to leave.  _ Ray will never last outside.  _ It was not his place to wish for something.  _ Ray did not deserve to dream.  _ Maybe he did? She thought that she had seen him outside, but it was the other one.  _ The strong one. Me.  _ Ray couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t keep hiding it. He couldn’t leave Magenta without  _ him.  _

“MC, I need to tell you some-”

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation, sending a chill down Ray’s spine.  _ You should be working, idiot.  _ He turned to Myung, wishing to keep on talking, but he couldn’t. He did not deserve it.  _ You’ll be punished.  _ The wild laugh echoed in his mind. He was growing stronger and Ray was running out of time. He did not want to run out of time. 

“I’m sorry, MC. I think that our conversation must be cut short, I have work that demands my attention” he said, getting up on his feet.

“Oh, that’s fine” she said, following him towards the door. “I’ll leave the rest of the sandwiches here for you, can you promise me that you’ll eat them?”

He nodded, smiling. “I promise. Oh!” he rushed to his desk, taking something from the drawer “Savior told me to cut off any signal on your cellphone, but… I thought that you might be too lonely in the room since I work a lot, so,” he raised her cellphone towards her “I’m the only person available in the chatroom, but we can keep each other company”

She looked at the device and saw it displaying the RFA chatroom. How? The only other profile displayed was his. Did it mean that he had succeeded in invading the RFA server? Had Saeyoung lost that battle? 

“How-” a knock interrupted her.

“I’m sorry. I’ll message you soon, I promise.” he said, placing his hand on the doorknob. “Thank you so much for spending some time with me. I’m sorry for bothering you for this long…”

She hugged him, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.  _ Ray loved small kisses on his head. _ What was that?  _ It wasn’t me. Who said that?  _ What memory was that?

“Thank  _ you _ ” she said, as he opened the door.

A believer waited outside, a flask of mint colored liquid in his hand. 

“Good morning, Mr. Ray, Ms. Myung.” the believer greeted.

“Good morning” Ray answered before turning to Myung “I’ll talk to you later, yes?”

“Yes. Goodbye, Ray. Goodbye, sir”

He watched her leaving before turning back to the believer in front of him. He was not from the intelligence team.

“Mr. Ray, Savior has sent you a dose of the elixir.” the believer said.

“Well, I’ve received it. Thank you for your service” he answered, beginning to close the door, but the believer stopped him.

“I was instructed to make sure that you drank it” the believer insisted, pushing the door back open “So, if you may…”

Ray took a deep breath.  _ You fucked everything up.  _ Looking down the flask, he felt the tears come to his eyes.  _ When will I come out?,  _ the voice sang. He had not been drinking it since his cleansing ceremony.  _ I want to play with Myung Chae too.  _ Holding his breath, he drank the liquid until the last drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, first of all I believe that it's safe to say that we had our dose of Ray and MC being two adorable UwUs interacting (I mean, they are best friends and this is cute.
> 
> Also, I did have a lot of fun with the voices in Ray's mind - maybe a little more than I should - but hey, I'm here for the chaos.
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love it!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	23. Strength

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: There is a big dosage of manipulation in this chapter. Proceed carefully, because Rika is mean

Ray: MC!!

Ray: After our breakfast today, I feel so happy!!

Ray: I’m so happy, MC!

MC: hahah I’m happy to hear that!!

MC: Thank you for spending some time with me!

Ray: No, thank YOU!!!

Ray: I don’t know when was the last time that I smiled so much

Ray: Thank you

Ray: Thank you for smiling with me

Ray: And…

Ray: Being my friend

MC: I should be the one saying thank you

MC: I missed you a lot, Ray

MC: And I care so much about you

MC: You know that, right?

Ray: OH

Ray: This makes me

Ray: So so happy!!!

Ray: I’ve never had a friend before

Ray: But I can call you friend, can’t I?

MC: Of course you can!

MC: We are friends <3

Ray: Reading this makes me feel really good

Ray: I thought that everything I do would end up being ruined

Ray: but if there is one thing I really did well

Ray: Is that I brought you here!

MC: I’m happy because I can see you

MC: And help you out

MC: Just like with the breakfast today

MC: We’ll continue talking for the time that we are both here, right?

Ray: Of course!

Ray: There is so much we can do together

Ray: When this is all over and I’ve proved that I belong in here

Ray: we’ll have a lot of time to be free and happy

Ray: We could see flowers together

Ray: or reading together

Ray: It sounds fun too

Ray: I need to get back to work

Ray: But I’ll talk to you later, okay?

MC: Of course!

MC: Come see me if you have the chance

Ray: Can…

Ray: Can I??

Ray: I’ll try.

Ray: Promise!

Ray: See you soon

MC placed her phone by her side. Her morning had been far from normal. What was normal at that point? Tea, a book, some watercoloring at the end of the day, college homework… Being kidnapped by a cult? Joining a shady charity organization? Falling in love with the illegitimate son of the prime minister? 

The girl stood up from the bed, walking towards the wide window. On the ground level, she could see believers working, constructing that mansion they called paradise. It was beautiful, there was no doubt, but it was also empty. Nothing there had given her the sensation of trust, of comfort, except for, of course, Saeran. Ray. He had changed his name. Perhaps it reminded him too much of his brother. He truly seemed to have nurtured a strong hatred against Saeyoung, accompanied by innominable trauma regarding the events of their childhood. At the same time, she wondered if he truly had all his memories in place. It was clear that he held onto some serious trauma, but after everything Saeyoung had told her, she imagined that he would have some memories of his brother nurturing him. Perhaps they were too painful to revisit, but if that was so, from where did that terrible hatred come from? 

. . .

_Saeran smiled as he colored the small drawing he made. He liked colors so much, and he had never had any of them when they were growing up. His home was empty without Saeyoung, dull, almost as if someone had painted it in black and white. Saeran needed the colors, he loved them all. A few weeks before, hyung and noona had brought him the box of crayons for the first time and it had been love at first sight. After that, everytime that they picked him up they would bring the crayons for him and allow him to spend his time drawing after the lessons were over._

_“What are you drawing today, Saeran?” Noona asked, coming closer to him and stroking his hair with her hand._

_“It’s a surprise” he said, covering the drawing with his hands. “You can’t see it, sorry”_

_She giggled, giving him a kiss on the head and walking away._

_“Okay, I’m not going to look then”_

_“Sorry, noona” the boy apologized, feeling a shiver go through his spine. He wondered if he had been bad, if noona would punish him for that._

_“There is no need to be sorry” she said. “I love surprises!”_

_Saeran smiled. He loved whenever he made noona happy. The fifteen year-old had seen her crying earlier that day, and she had brushed it off when he asked her why. Sometimes, he wondered if noona was truly fine. Sometimes, he felt that she was doing like Saeyoung, pretending not to be hurt in order to protect those around her, and Saeran loved noona. He wanted to help her if she was ever sad._

_“Rika” a woman called, stopping by the door. “We need help in the soup kitchen, can you come?”_

_“Sure!” Rika answered. “I’ll be right there” She turned to the boy, going back to him “I need to go and give them a hand. Will you be fine waiting here?”_

_Saeran looked deep in her eyes, shaking his head. He did not want to be left alone._

_“It’ll be quick” she insisted. “You know what we do in the soup kitchen, right? Saeyoung did take you food from there a few times. It must be a bit crowded back there and we are understaffed. Can’t you wait here for a bit?”_

_“Can’t I help too?” the boy asked._

_“It will be crowded out there. Do you think you’ll handle it fine?” she got even closer, brushing his cheek with her thumb._

_“Yes” he answered, getting up. “I want to help people too”_

_As a response, she reached her hand towards him, taking the boy with her. Sometimes, noona called him her child. Saeran loved when she did that. Hyung too. He prayed every night for the day when Saeyoung would come back and the two of them would leave mother’s home and go live with the couple that had always taken care of them. Rika-noona was the mother he was never allowed to have, the light in the endless night that was his life._

_As he followed her to the soup kitchen, he thought that he saw the sad expression flash over her face once more, but shook it off. Rika was too kind, too nice. He was the only one out there who was broken. Maybe he was just imagining things. Mother had told them countless times how stupid he was, he shouldn’t keep trying to think about things._

_. . ._

Ray: Myung!!

Ray: I’m back!

MC: Hi, Ray!!

MC: How are you feeling?

Ray: I’m fine

Ray: I’m going to talk to Savior soon

Ray: Show her the results of my work up to now

MC: that’s great, Ray

MC: Let me ask you something

MC: You talked about proving that you belong in here

MC: Is that why you keep on working so much?

Ray: Yes…

Ray: I am too stupid to be here

Ray: I don’t belong anywhere

Ray: Nor deserve anything

Ray: Savior is kind and allows me to stay here

Ray: But if I don’t show her that I can be useful...

Ray: No

Ray: I shouldn’t talk like this

Ray: I’m such an airhead

Ray: Talking about Savior like this…

MC: Ray, don’t call yourself that

MC: You’re not stupid

MC: You are brilliant

MC: Please, don’t be so harsh on yourself

Ray: I’m sorry

Ray: I’m so stupid

Ray: You are so kind to me and I keep letting you down

Ray: I’m sorry

MC: Ray…

Ray: I just wanted to tell you

Ray: About the elixir

Ray: Remember not to drink it, alright?

Ray: It’s our little secret

Ray: If anyone tries to give it to you, tell them that you’ve already drank it

MC: I won’t tell anyone

MC: Don’t worry

MC: Is it really that bad to take it?

Ray: It’s painful

Ray: really painful

Ray: I used to take it a lot when I was younger

Ray: But now…

Ray: I’m just happy that you don’t need to take it

Ray: You are smart and good

Ray: I’m just dumb and crooked

MC: Ray, please

MC: You’re not crooked

MC: You are smart and kind

MC: You are absolutely worth it

MC: I just think that your environment is suffocating you

Ray: Smart?

Ray: I’m…

Ray: No one had ever told me that!!

Ray: But I must not be arrogant

Ray: I don’t even deserve to be here

Ray: I wish I would have been born stronger

Ray: Pain is a repetitive thing in my life

Ray: Because I’m so weak

Ray: I was born like this

Ray: But your words touch my heart so deeply <3

Ray: Thank you

MC: Things will get better, Ray

MC: I promise

MC: You’ll see how everything will work out soon

Ray: It will!!

Ray: I’m sure it will

Ray: I must leave now

Ray: See you later ^_^

_Ray has left the chatroom_

MC took her phone and began roaming around her bedroom. That was too much for her to take. Rika had messed him up. Those terrible things that he said and thought about himself. How could someone do this with him? She looked out of the window, staring at the garden below. She could see the gate from her bedroom. It was not that far. MC was never the unhopeful type, but Saeyoung was taking too long and she was running out of time. She knew that she could not pretend to be part of the cult for long. Once they began giving her tasks, it would be impossible for her to keep on going. She needed a way out, and fast. Ray should be able to take her to the gate, if only she could convince him to leave with her. They had to. Later on they would deal with Saeran’s lack of memories and his relationship with his brother. All she needed to do was take him out of that place, before something even worse fell over them.

Slowly, she opened the door and entered the hallway. MC needed to take a better look in that mansion, remember each corridor if she had to make a quick escape. It was all strategy. Besides, she would need all the information that she could get in order to save the two of them. She needed proof or at least enough information that would make a convincing testimony of what she had seen. After days researching, that was her chance of helping all those people that were being manipulated into that cult.

“Hey, newbie” a female voice called from behind her. After she turned around, Myung immediately recognized the girl that had given her water when she was locked in the basement.

“Uh… Hi” MC answered.

“I’m going to say, I thought that you wouldn’t last,” the girl scoffed. “But hey, we have all sorts here, right? Welcome to Magenta”

Myung took a deep breath. That girl was getting on her nerves just by the way she looked at her.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Myung answered.

“Savior hasn't given you a job, yet?” the girl asked, leaning her side against the wall.

“No, she didn’t… Someone told me that she would do it later today, so I’m just walking around. Getting to know the place.” Myung tried to smile.

The girl looked at her with interest. “You look well. Most people aren’t like this after taking the elixir for the first time” she took two steps towards her “Lucky you”

“Lucky me” MC echoed. “So, what’s your name?”

“You can call me Ihhye” she answered. “And you are Myung Chae, who seems to be very interested in Mr. Ray…”

The girl was sharp.

“Well… He is the only person that talked much to me. And he brought me here, too.” she answered “He is nice. I just wanna help him out”

“Ray is troubled” the girl answered. “Besides his constant panic attacks or whatever, there is the other thing that makes it all much more complicated.” she sensed the confusion on Myung’s expression, so she added “You know about the… other thing, don’t you?”

Myung shook her head, assuming that Inhye was crazy. That girl was suspicious of her and was probably trying to bust her.

“Oh, crap, you don’t know” Inhye continued, laughing “Things just got even more fun.”

“I’m assuming that some of you are not very fond of Ray” Myung answered, trying to change the subject.

“Kind of. Some believers do not think that he should be here. They say that the only reason why he is still in Mint Eye is because Savior adopted him when he was a child or whatever. He messes up so much that he must be the believer that most had to go through the cleansing ceremony. And there is also the special thing, but that I’ll let you find on your own. It will be fun when you do.”

“I can see in which group you fit in” Myung commented, her voice more bitter than she intended.

“Wouldn’t you like that?” the girl ironically asked. “But for your surprise, Myung Chae, I do think that he is a good guy.” she crossed her arms “He does a fairly good job, helps us out, cares a lot about the other believers… Everyone here is broken somehow. The guy has his issues, but at least he’s in a place that accepts him. Or at least it should” she looked to the sides “Anyways, I’m done bothering you. See ya later, Myung Chae.”

. . .

Ray coughed. The elixir was debilitating. Shivers went through his body, accompanying the pain that had lodged itself in every part of him, especially on the head. It was hurting, hurting, hurting. _Stop acting like that. You deserve the elixir. You should be happy for Savior giving it to you._ Stupid Ray. So ungrateful, so arrogant, so… tired. Ray was tired. He coughed once more, covering his mouth with the tissue. He wished to lay in bed, but he couldn’t. Savior had summoned him to hear the report, and he could not disappoint her. _She is already disappointed with you._

He felt the other him crawling inside himself, whispering terrible words to him. Stop, stop, stop. _I wonder how I’ll play with her first._ You’re not going to. _I won’t hurt her… Not at first._ We need to protect her. _Bugs like you and her don’t need protection. You need to be smashed to the ground._

“There you are…” Savior said, raising from her chair. “It took you longer to get here than I expected.”

“My savior…” he bowed. “I’m here to report to you”

“Before you do so, I would like to hear the full contents of our slogan” she ordered.

Ray took a deep breath. “F-for Mint Eye’s eternal p-paradise… I s-solemnly swear-” he was interrupted by the strong cough that had lodged in his throat “E-excuse me. I s-solemnly swear upon all of my wounds” he stopped to breathe, as the air seemed to be running away from his lungs “that I’ll stay by your side until the end, my Savior.”

At each word Savior walked down the steps from her chair, getting closer and walking around him, like a lioness observes its prey. Ray was too absorbed by the pain to notice, continuing to mutter the slogan until he was done and she was standing in front of him.

“I collected a total of six pieces of information since last evening” he continued, making a long pause in order to breathe. “Two of them happen to be about the last party’s guests. As for the jobs in hand-” once more he was forced to stop talking because of his cough “I’m sorry. I’m upgrading the access system’s security” his cough was sending pain through his already frail body “I’m sorry, just a moment”

“Are you staying faithful to the slogan?” Savior asked, looking deep into his eyes.

“My Savior?” he wondered.

“You said that you swear on every inch of your trauma that you’ll stay by my side until the end” 

“Yes, I…”

“But look at you… This pale skin, all sickened once more. Keeping secrets from me…” Savior looked at him in disgust “Have you done what I told you regarding that girl, Ray?”

Ray tried to take a step back, but his legs stiffened. _Don’t run away from Savior._ He couldn’t breathe, breathe, breathe. Once more that horrible fear ran through his body, giving him pain and despair, clenching his throat tight and suffocating him until the last second. _Listen to Savior._ Even that reminded him of the hug. What was that hug that he remembered so well? He was never hugged, never. _Ray was never loved by anyone. Never, never, never._ What was missing? Why couldn’t he remember whose hug was the one that held him tight, giving his kisses in the hair while he cried. Why wasn’t it Myung Chae’s?

“Y-yes, my Savior. She was initiated, just like you instructed” Ray answered. _Ray lied._

“Who is she, Ray?” Savior asked. “She is not good for you. I thought that I would bring you happiness by accepting her as one of us, but she has too much light. I can recognize it when I see. She is trying to push your darkness away, isn’t she?”

“N-no” he answered “I d-don’t understand my Savior, I-” he coughed again. _Answer her, bug._ “Myung is very interested in our cause, she needs to be saved by the Mint Eye”

“And your face… Can’t you see what’s wrong?” 

Ray looked down. He couldn’t comprehend what was happening. _Too stupid to be here._ Savior was talking so much. He had done something wrong, but what? _Quit protecting that dumb girl._ Never.

Suddenly, Savior pulled his face down to face her, wapping her hand down his chin and pressing her nails into his cheeks. It was hurting, hurting, hurting. 

“What happened to your face, Ray?”

She let go off him, walking away to a small chest near her chair. In the meantime, two believers held him by his arms, forcing him to kneel. Ray was scared, shivering of the punishment he seemed to be about to receive. _She found out, idiot._ She cannot hurt MC. _You weren’t clever enough to protect her, bug._

Savior held his face once more, making him look up and forcing a bottle of Elixir in between his lips. 

“Your face is pale… You’ve said that you’ll stay by my side, but look at your face.”

She allowed him to breathe, but the believers did not let go off his arms.

“You’re such an inconvenience, Ray.” she continued, dropping the empty bottle by his side. “You have already been an inconvenience to your brother and to V. Have you not learned anything from that? Do you wish to be an inconvenience to me too?”

“N-no” he shook his head. _Stop crying, you idiot._

“I’ve been receiving endless reports about you, did you know? Do I truly need to go this far in order to make sure that you take the elixir?”

“I’m s-sorry” he weeped. _Such an airhead._ “I-I was not good enough, but from now on I w-won’t be lazy, I’ll take the elixir every d-day, I’ll-”

She tugged his hair, making him look at her. “I believe that I’ve heard the same thing the last time in the basement, Ray… I’m starting to get tired of your words.” she looked at him, beginning to lovingly stroke his hair “Look at you, poor thing. Such lifeless eyes… Poor Ray. Maybe I should increase the amount of Elixir.”

“N-no, p-please.” he answered, shaking his head. “I’m taking more than enough”

“How many times must I repeat myself, Ray? Is your endless sickness affecting your ears?” she tugged his hair again “You are not allowed to think. You are too weak for that. If you go around thinking for yourself, you’ll end up ruining everything, just like you have always done, don’t you think?”

“Y-yes, m-my Savior” he answered, tears streaming down his cheeks. _Pathetic._ “What I meant to say is that I swear that I’ve done my best. I’ll never betray you”

“Now you are turning arrogant” her eyes brimmed with tears as she caressed his cheek. “Oh, my child, what must I do with you? See why I tell you that you do not deserve to think or act on your own? Look at your state.”

“You’re right, my Savior” he said. 

“Ray, you don’t deserve to think about anything” she said, taking another flask of elixir in her hands.

“No, I don’t, my Savior.” _Useless bug._

“You can’t make any decisions without me” she got closer to him, taking off the lid of the flask.

“No, I can’t, my Savior” _Take what you deserve, filthy idiot._

“You’ve been so arrogant in the last days, thinking on your own.” she held his face once more, forcing him to drink the elixir. “It’s all your fault that you are sick.”

Once more she allowed him to breathe. Pain. Pain. Pain. Ray wished to scream, but he shouldn’t, he couldn’t. _What a shame. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted?_ He felt Savior’s gentle hand, so kind, so warm, tangling in between his hair. _Ray loves when people play with his hair. Please, don’t stop._ What was that voice? _Shut up, bug. Listen to me and Savior. That is all there is for you._

“That’s how your eyes should be. Looking only at me” she said. “I’ll take good care of you, Ray. I know what is best for you.”

“Yes, _my Savior_ ”

. . .

Seven tapped on the steering wheel, peeking inside the convenience store as he tried to spot Vanderwood. They were supposed to hit the road, but the cabin was too far away and it would take them a while to get there. 

“Hey, kid” Vanderwood said, getting inside the car and throwing one of the plastic bags on the younger agent’s lap. “I got everything we needed”

“Did you find what I asked you?” Saeyoung asked, opening the bag.

“Yes, sure” Vanderwood answered, buckling his belt.

“Those are not Honey Buddha Chips,” the boy complained, disappointed with the bag of sandwiches. 

“No, they are actually good for you. Now eat, drive and stop complaining.” Vanderwood said, taking one sandwich from the bag and opening his computer. “I’ve seen two cars leaving the mansion up to now, if you wanna know. Neither of them came back yet.

“Any sign of her or Saeran?” Saeyoung asked, pulling up into the driveway and heading towards the mountains. 

“They did not leave the building, as far as I know. They may have done it while we were not looking, like last night or when we were loading the car.” Vanderwood took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose “If they were in the cars, there is no way for us to know. Where are we going again?”

“V has an old cabin. He hasn’t gone there since Rika’s disappearance, as far as I know. I have a spare key for emergencies, he gave it to me in case they needed help or if I needed to run away for my father I could hide in there for a while.”

“Isn’t he the guy that you are all suspicious about?” Vanderwood asked, without looking away from the screen.

“Kind of” Saeyoung answered. “Look, it’s close enough to Mint Eye. If he ends up going there, he will have to give us some explanations”

Vanderwood was quiet for a while, staring at the boy.

“You can’t bring yourself to admit that he may be behind all this, can you?” he asked.

“No” Saeyoung answered. “No, I can’t.” he rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on the road “I know that’s wrong and that I shouldn’t throw away any suspects… But he and Rika are so dear to me. They helped me in ways that no one did before, I can’t… I can’t imagine a scenario where I’ll need to confront them”

“You need to prepare yourself, then” Vanderwood pointed out. “That’s why you don’t get to bond with people when you are working in the agency, not even your colleagues. People are fucked up. If someone tries to stab you in the back or messes something up, it’s much harder to get rid of them if they are your friends.”

“It’s not that easy to stay unattached to people…” Saeyoung said. “Come on, if they told you to shoot me, could you?”

Vanderwood kept on looking ahead. He had always had to portray himself as tough, cold, keeping a distance from those around him. Attachments were bad. He had learned that in life. They made you emotional, and emotions made you weak. After Seven came up on his life, things started to change. He saw too much of himself on the kid. Vanderwood learned that attachment was not always bad.

“They already did,” he answered, looking outside the window. 

There was much buried underneath his answer, but he would not bring that up. Caring about people was tough, he had learned it through Seven too. When the boy was placed under his protection, he had been annoyed. He never liked kids and the image that he had made of the fourteen year old had never been promising. But with time, he began to change. His efforts to protect the kid became more genuine, more risky. So he understood. He understood how tough it was to worry about the people that he liked and how heartbreaking it would be to lose people dear to him. 

“We’ll find the answer to all this,” Vanderwood said. “You’ll see. Maybe this V guy is not involved. Misunderstandings can happen.” he looked at Seven. “We’ll find your brother and Myung in no time.”

. . .

Ray: Myung

Ray: Noona

Ray: I’m afraid

Ray: I’m so so afraid

Ray: Please

Ray: Answer me

Ray: Noona

Ray: Noona

MC: Ray, I’m here

MC: Are you alright?

Ray: I’m so scared

Ray: That you’ll abandon me

Ray: I’m such a nuisance

Ray: I’m an inconvenience

Ray: Please

Ray: Please don’t leave me

MC: I won’t, Ray

MC: We’re in this together

MC: Is there something wrong?

Ray: I took the elixir…

Ray: and I have a fever

Ray: And I keep thinking about you

Ray: I don’t deserve to

Ray: But I keep thinking

Ray: I hate myself

Ray: I hate myself

Ray: I hate myself

Ray: I was determined to take care of you

Ray: I wanted to protect you

MC: I also want to protect you

Ray: Really?

Ray: I miss you

Ray: I really miss you so much

Ray: I wanted to show you all the good things

Ray: And make you smile

MC: I want you to be happy too

MC: You are really loved, Ray

MC: Sometimes you can’t see it, but you are

MC: Can I go help you?

Ray: No

Ray: You can’t come here

Ray: I…

Ray: I’m so weak

Ray: And you are so strong

Ray: I’m ashamed

Ray: I’m painful

Ray: I’d rather become a different person

Ray: I’m so useless and pathetic

Ray: I hate myself

Ray: I hate myself

Ray: I hate myself

MC: I love you just the way you are

MC: You are absolutely perfect to me

MC: And if you look well to yourself

MC: You’ll see how special you are

Ray: Your words are so sweet…

Ray: I think I’m gonna cry

Ray: But…

Ray: No.

Ray: I can’t make decisions on my own

Ray: I’m an airhead

Ray: So stupid

Ray: What an idiot is Ray

Ray: No. No.

MC: Please, Ray

MC: Stop talking about yourself like that

Ray: I’m sorry

Ray: I keep letting you down and making you sad

Ray: You’re so shiny, like a star

Ray: Why would you like someone like me?

Ray: I don’t deserve to be loved

Ray: I am happy to hear your compliments

Ray: But I’m scared

Ray: I’m so scared

Ray: Everyone around me tortured me

Ray: Abandoned me

Ray: Please, Myung

Ray: You can hurt me

Ray: You can do whatever you want just

Ray: Don’t leave me

Ray: Please

MC: Please, don’t say things like that

MC: You’re so precious to me

MC: Where are you, Ray?

MC: Please, let me see you

Ray: You can’t

Ray: You can’t

Ray: I need to be stronger

Ray: I’m getting stronger to protect you

Ray: My savior told me

Ray: that if i work really hard

Ray: things might be different.

Ray: If I work hard

Ray: I can be happy

Ray: I need to be stronger to prove myself

Ray: So that I can take care of you too

MC: Ray

MC: I don’t think that this place is being good to you

Ray: That’s because I’m full of faults

Ray: I cannot take all the good stuff

Ray: because I don’t deserve them

Ray: I belong nowhere outside this place

MC: I think we should leave this place...

MC: Do you think we can do that?

Ray: NO!

Ray: Savior will be so mad

Ray: We can’t

Ray: I can’t

Ray: I can’t survive outside

Ray: I’m too weak

Ray: But if you stay with me

Ray: will I be able to survive out there?

Ray: No

Ray: We can’t talk about this

Ray: We’ll be in trouble is Savior finds out

Ray: Let’s never talk about that again

Ray: Please

Ray: I don’t want to see you in pain

MC: Ray, please

Ray: I’m sorry

Ray: I must leave

Ray: I’m sorry

_Ray has left the chatroom_

Ray hid his phone back in his pocket upon hearing the sound of footsteps. He hated the basement. _You can’t hate paradise. You deserve to be here, bug._ Ray deserved to go through intense treatment. _Useless Ray._ He could never protect MC if he was weak. _So weak._ He had to become stronger. _Let me come out._ No.

“Ray,” Savior called as she entered his cell, kneeling by his side. He had been lying on the floor, too weakened to move “How are you feeling, my child?”

“I’m…” he couldn’t find the words to answer.

“I’m terribly worried about you. But do not worry. I made my prayers and I’ve seen the light. It told me that I must stop approving you. You’ll come back after you fall even deeper. You must fall to the bottom of the abyss to be saved… But you can survive, can’t you?”

Ray whimpered. _Get stronger._ He had to protect MC. _Get better._

“Y-yes” he answered. _He lied._

“Poor child,” she said, pulling a blanket over him. “I’ll save you. If you turn more useless than you already are… Who will ever save you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was an absolute rollercoaster to write. Rika is a character that I find truly dificult to write in general and I am truly proud of how I managed to depict her manipulative behavior towards Saeran in the past and in the present. I find it truly heartbreaking how she was the one that showed him the life that he could have and took it all away by dragging him to mint eye and brainwashing him. They are two very interesting characters to work with, separate and together. 
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love it!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	24. Elixir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: Please, remember that this game does not represent mental and psychological illness in a correct or precise manner, so please do not use any of these representations as a source of information. The characters are dramatized for narrative purposes. 
> 
> \- Beware of mentions of child abuse  
> \- Rika is going to be really manipulative in this chapter (when isn’t she), so beware if that’s a sensible topic to you  
> \- This chapter is really intense and the fourth section of the chapter is what I would consider the most intense of them all. Please, do not push yourself and if it bothers you in any way, feel free to jump to the next section, things won’t be so confusing if you do so  
> \- I've said it before, but I'll repeat it: this fic contains huge spoilers of Seven's, Ray's and V's route, also the Secret Endings. If you do not wish to have the routes spoiled for you, go play them and come back when you are done

_The sixteen year old was sitting on the stool, in front of the kitchen counter. He took the red crayon out of the box, carefully painting the flower’s petals in the tiny bookmark. The smell of food came to him, making him raise his head for a second. Saeran was hungry and hyung was a great cook._

_“Jihyun, just let me help,” noona giggled, pushing her fiancé softly to the side. “I can chop those, go take a look on the broth, I think it’s almost done”_

_It had been a few months since he had begun living with the couple. After his mother's death, he had nowhere else to go and was immensely grateful when noona announced that they would take him in. They were so nice. So nice. So nice. Saeran loved hyung and noona, he truly did. Even if mother was still alive in his nightmares, they made it all go away. His life before seemed far away, the slurs, the beatings, the hunger, the cold, all of it was in t he past, only shadows that lurched in the corners of his bedroom at night._

_“What are you doing over there, buddy?” V asked, wiping his hands on a towel and leaning over the counter to look at Saeran’s markers._

_“Well… Saeyoung always loved books. Every time he could, he sneaked a book into our house in order to read for me,” the boy said, looking at V. “I’m making a bookmark for when he comes back. I think he’ll like it, right? We never had bookmarks, so he would always stick some old piece of paper in the middle of books, or memorize the page.”_

_V smiled at him. “That is really sweet, Saeran. I’m sure he’ll be happy”_

_“I hope so…” Saeran answered, taking a deep breath._

_The boy had a question in his mind, but he was scared. He was so scared of upsetting them, of being beaten for being nosy, of the punishment that he could receive; but he remembered himself that they wouldn’t. Hyung and noona were nothing like mother. She was scary and mean. Hyung and noona weren’t._

_“Will it take too long for him to come back?” he asked. “I-I miss him. A lot. Do you think he’ll be back soon?”_

_Hyung and noona were silent, just like they always were whenever he mentioned his brother. He knew that he shouldn’t. Hyung had explained to him how Saeyoung was keeping the two of them safe, but for that saeran could never know what he was doing. Saeyoung was brave, always taking care of them, even in the hardest times. He wished to be like his brother one day._

_“There were some… Complications” V answered. “We can’t promise that will be soon, but he’ll be back, alright?”_

_“Is it because of our father?” Saeran asked, unable to hold back the question that was lodged on the back of his mind. “He is still after us, isn’t he? That’s why I can never go outside the property, or see anyone that isn’t the doctor that one of your friends recommended.”_

_“Saeran-”_

_“Saeran, can you help me with something?” noona interrupted, apparently oblivious to what they were talking about. “In the storage room we have this big blue bowl. Can you take it for us while me and V finish our noodles?”_

_The boy winced. He wished to know what V had to say, but it would be rude of him to deny a favor for noona simply because he was being selfish. He had already asked much more than he should. As a result, the boy nodded, heading to the hallway._

_As soon as he was gone, Rika turned back to V, her face distorted in disapproval._

_“What are you thinking, V? We can’t bring those things up”_

_“He deserves to know what is happening to his own brother. I know that we can’t tell him the details, but I mean what I have just told him,” Jihyun leaned his back against the counter, crossing his arms in front of him._

_“Telling him that his brother will be back is tearing him apart.” she said. “I cannot see what good it does to tell him that Saeyoung will be back”_

_“He deserves to have hope!” V answered. “That was the plan from the beginning, you helped me to come up with it! Besides, Luciel is coming back. That’s not a guess, I’m sure of it. Things are just a little complicated, but I’m reaching out to those contacts I have. The boy is in the US right now, but maybe we can bring him to us when he comes back.” he stopped for a minute, averting his gaze from his fiancée to think. V had been stalling to her about the idea he had had. “And he is right, Rika. Their father is searching for them like crazy since their mother’s death. If he continues, there is a great risk for him to get to us. There are witnesses that know that we’ve been picking the boy up in his home for the past two years, besides all the time that we’ve spent taking care of Luciel. I’m even thinking if we shouldn’t find a way for him to leave the country for a while”_

_“What?” Rika asked. “He can’t survive on his own. We can’t abandon him!”_

_“I did not say that” V answered, getting closer to her. “All I meant is that he will be safer outside. We won’t be abandoning him, we would make it in the safest way possible for him.”_

_“That is so cruel” her eyes were filled with tears. “My poor child can’t survive alone… How cruel can you be, V?”_

_“Rika, no…” he hugged her. “Please, don’t cry. We’ll talk about this later, alright?”_

_Rika kept on crying. V broke her heart sometimes. He was so strong, of course that he couldn’t understand weaklings like Saeran and her. To give the boy independence would mean to send him to his death. It was already past the time for her to take him, but that horrible mother of his had delayed it. She had built the perfect place for people like her child to be, all without V’s help. It would become a beautiful paradise. But she had to be patient. Paradise was waiting for them, it would not go anywhere._

. . .

Myung walked around her room. She had been doing the same thing for hours. After the last conversation with Ray, she was unable to calm down. What were they doing to him? Had she lost the moment of taking him away? Would she be able to see him again? 

Sitting on the bed, she turned her cellphone on, checking on the RFA app. There were no chatrooms available, which meant that he was still gone. She hid her face in her hand. MC was terrified. Her chest shivered as she began to cry. She was scared. Truly scared. Since she had been kidnapped and taken to that place, she had been able to recognize, in Saeran, a friend. Now, she was all alone.

Her phone started to ring and as she looked down, MC saw the caller ID: Ray.

“Ray?” she called, placing the phone by her ear. “I’m worried about you! Where have you been? Are you safe?”

“Noona? I-is t-that you? Is t-that really y-you?” 

Ray’s voice was nothing more than a faint whimper, the painful shriek of someone that had been crying for hours and had all of his strength drained by the tears. MC sat straight on the bed, barely breathing as she was forced to hear him cry in pain.

“I’m not hallucinating, am I?” he continued. “Can you hear me? Please don’t hang up” he cried. “Please. Please. Don’t…”

“Ray, where are you? I’m coming for you right now” MC said, standing up.

“No!” he yelled. “No. D-don’t.” he stopped to let a painful sob out. “You’ll be in danger… And I… I can’t even protect you. I’m so useless. Useless. Useless…” he continued to cry.

“Ray…” Myung called, crying as she fell on the ground. “Please, don’t…”

“I’m sorry for bringing you into this.” he continued. “I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t.” he sniffled. “I’m sorry… But please, listen to me. I might… I might lose myself. I’m feeling faint. I’m so scared. This is too painful. I wish everything would just go away. My past, my weakness. No one would torture me if I was strong. I should just make myself gone in that filthy tiny corner. I’m too weak… I can’t even protect myself from mother, I can’t… I never could… I shouldn’t have been alive in the first place.”

“Don’t say that,” MC pleaded. “You are so precious to me. You are perfect, Ray, please. I’m your friend, I want to protect you. Where are you?””

“I would rather be gone”, he continued, as if he hadn’t listened to her words. “I must be gone for our salvation. No! No!” he screamed and shrieked, sending a shiver down MC’s spine. “I want to stay. I can’t go. I want to see you… Please, I want to see you…” he whimpered. “I must be gone for you to stay safe… Please… Just leave me here. I’m too weak. And you… You should be happy.”

He hung up, leaving MC slone on the floor, sobbing while still holding the phone to her ear. 

“Ray, please. What is happening? Ray! Saeran!” 

Myung Chae cried, stumbling through her way up to the door. When she tried to head to the hallway, she was pushed back by a pair of hands. A believer was standing by her door, looking at her.

“You are not allowed to leave your bedroom, Savior’s orders” the believer said. “She wishes to talk to you later, take your time to contemplation”

“I need to talk to Ray!” MC said, trying to force her way out, but she was pushed back again.

“Savior ordered you to stay here,” the believer insisted, menacingly standing in front of her. “I knew that you would cause us trouble from the moment we brought you here. If you don’t want to join that idiot in the basement, you should shut up and wait for Savior.”

He slammed the door shut. Once more, MC dropped herself on the ground. She needed Saeyoung to come. There was no more time to lose.

. . .

_“He is already old enough… We should send him away for some time” V said, looking at Rika who was working on her computer, lying by his side on the bed. “It’s been two years, Rika, and the prime minister is still looking for them.”_

_“We’ve already discussed this,” she answered without taking her eyes off the screen. “Saeran cannot take care of himself.”_

_“Sweetheart, Saeran is so much more independent than before. It will be good for him, he never can go outside alone. We could go with him, stay with him for a while until he learns how to do everything and at least allow him to go to college somewhere. He’ll be safe.”_

_Rika slammed her computer shut, turning to face V._

_“Safe?” she asked. “The poor boy is too weak to handle himself and you wish to simply abandon him. How can this be safe?”_

_“It is-”_

_“It can be for someone like you, V. But people like Saeran, like me… This is insane. He needs our help and support. In this world that is ruled by the survival of the fittest, he will be crushed in minutes. Just think about how he was before we saved him”_

_V frowned. He hated when Rika talked like that._

_“It was a different situation. We are not dropping him off in a foreign country and leaving him to strive for survival. We’ll be by his side, we’re just allowing him to take his own steps”. he took a deep breath. “Besides… We can’t take him to all the health professionals he needs, not here in South Korea. We are already lucky enough that Jumin’s physician is a very discreet man who values secrecy more than his life. But outside of the country, we could take him to an immunologist, to get his immune system deficiency checked, we can take him to a psychologist and psychiatrist, actually get him help to deal with the traumas he carries.”_

_“That’s cruel… So cruel” Rika shook her head. “I had never seen how prideful and selfish you are. Worse, you’re trying to take part of him away. Shame his deficiencies, his sickness.”_

_“Rika, calm down,” V asked, trying to approach her. “I’m just trying to talk to you.”_

_“No!” she yelled, pushing him away and standing up. “You are a horrible person, V. You don’t care about the boy. All you want to do is shape him to fit your idea of normality. That’s why you want him to leave, to become ‘independent’. Someone like you could never comprehend us”_

_“Rika, please…” he hugged her. “I’m trying to do the best for him. Please”_

_She pushed him away and left the room. She knew what was best for her child. Everything was planned. Their paradise was being built slowly as she gathered her believers. She needed, of course, a better way to find them. People who had a good heart and wished, for pure or selfish ideas, to help those who needed. Soon, it would be time for the next phase. She had already built a place for those that were not fit for the outside world, but she still had much to do. A way of reaching out to people in need. Her own charity organization would be perfect for that. She already knew Yoosung and Jumin, broken people that could help and deserved salvation. For sure they would be eager to be part of a charitable organization. Of course, there was also her loving V. He had promised to give all of himself to her. Some probation would be necessary, for sure, but it did not make him disposable. Quite the contrary: V was the reason why paradise had to exist._

. . .

Ray dropped his phone after hanging up. He couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t. Even thinking was enough to send pain over his body, making him cry as he was laying on the ground. His body was burning, as if a flame had been placed inside his chest, making him sweat, and turn and cry, cry, cry. Each breath was a sting, each movement a torture. _Weak, weak, weak._ Ray had always been so weak. _Useless._ He cried as much as he could, never able to stand for himself, never able to protect anyone. _Everyone hates you because you are weak._ All he wished was to protect Myung. 

_“You don’t need to be scared. Are you lost?”_

She had been so kind. He was _pathetic, weak, useless._ Crying, always crying. _Filthy memories._ Why did Ray always have to cry? Why wasn’t he strong? Why wasn’t he worthy of anything? _You’re pathetic._ Pathetic. Ray had always been pathetic. Mother knew that, the traitor knew that, the hypocrite knew that, and now Myung knew too. He was never deserving of love. That was for those who had been rightfully born in the world. Ray should never have been born in the first place.

_“It’s a pleasure to meet you! I am Myung Chae.”_

She still had the same smile, the same kind eyes that cheered him whenever he looked at her. _Weak eyes._ Powerful eyes. _The eyes of an idiot._ Myung’s eyes. All he wished for was to keep her safe. He had almost been destroyed by the outside world, he knew that she would be crushed out there. _She is weak like you._ MC belonged to Magenta, that was their paradise, their… paradise was hurting him too much. _Shut your filthy mouth._

He curled up on the floor, pulling his hair. The pain was growing, spreading, shifting him in a contraction of muscles and tears. Ray cried, cried, cried, begging for someone, anyone, to kill him, allow him to be free from that miserable life. _What’s the matter with you, getting sick all the time?_ Ray hated himself. He hated, hated, hated himself. He had always been _too weak, too dumb, too useless._ His only purpose in the world had always been to be used by those around him. To be tortured, stepped on, and then discarded as the filthy piece of garbage that he was. Ray was tired, so tired. All he wished for was to remember whose hug was that. _Stop revisiting the memories._ He remembered a hug. _Shut up._ A hug given to him in the quiet of the night, when he was hungry and hurting, with a rope cutting his ankle. _I want to come out and play._ The hug was silent and still said all the words that he needed to hear. _Stop thinking about that!_ It came accompanied by so many kisses on the head. He had always loved the small kisses on the head. _I want to play with Myung Chae._ Who was the person that had given him the hug?

A bolt of pain made him yell and he turned to the other side. _If you give in it will be quicker._ Ray did not want to leave. _It is my turn now._ Ray had to protect her. _She’ll receive all the protection she deserves._ MC needed to be happy. _I’ll laugh so much of that sad face she makes all the time._ MC needed to be protected. _You can’t protect her, bug._ Ray was weak. _So weak, aren’t you? I am strong._ So weak. Ray had always been weak. Stupid. Unworthy. Myung did not need him. He was useless to her. If he didn’t change, Myung would be taken away. Ray loved Myung Chae so much. She was his best friend. _You don’t have friends._ Ray never had friends except for Myung Chae. _You don’t have friends._ But Ray was weak. He couldn’t take care of her. And the pain, the pain, the pain. He screamed. He wished to be gone. _I wish to exist._ He wished to be stronger. _I am stronger._ Ray wished to leave. _Saeran wishes to arrive._ So weak. _So strong._ If you are strong no one can torture you. _If you are weak you must be stepped on._ Bugs aren’t worthy of anything. _I am a stupid bug._

Saeran opened his eyes, taking deep breaths. The pain was fading, leaving his chest, his bones, his body _._ He stretched, grinning, laughing, his weepy cries transforming themselves in chuckles and giggles of joy. He was back. He was back. _He_ was back. Saeran sat up, looking outside. _We need to protect her._ It was his time to play with Myung Chae. 

. . .

_“He left?” V asked, dropping himself on the couch._

_“I’m sorry, V,” Rika answered, sitting in the armchair facing him. “We talked and I mentioned your idea of him going abroad for a while. Being apart from Saeyoung is hurting him too much, and we always will remind him of his brother. You even more than me, as a matter of fact. He just needs time, that's all. He is already eighteen, he must be craving to have his own space.” she took a deep breath. “I was foolish to not agree with you before. It was the best for him,”_

_V hid his face on his hands. He shouldn't have gone on that business trip. He should have stayed and taken care of the boy. How could he not have noticed that Saeran was hurt like that? Still, he had a duty as the boys’ guardian, even if apart from them._

_“He is still keeping contact with you, right?” V asked. “Then, please, tell him that we love him so much and we’ll be here whenever he wishes to return. He won’t have to worry about finances, we’ll give him complete financial support with everything, make sure that he can access the money we’ll send him. And, Rika, please, make sure that he receives psychological and physical treatment. His father cannot track him so easily outside the country, it's his chance to get help.”_

_“Of course, V” Rika smiled. “I’ll make sure to give him all the treatment that he needs”_

. . .

Myung was sitting on the bed, waiting. That was all that was left to her. Wait. She took deep breaths. In order to solve the situation, she would have to maintain herself calm. If “savior” was truly coming to talk to her, she would have a chance of asking about Ray. Rika should know where he was and MC had to find out, even if it meant that she would have to invade somewhere in order to get him out. 

Suddenly, the door was opened without any knock, making the girl stand. Passing through the door frame was the blond woman, wearing a white robe equal to the one from the day when they met for the first time.

“For paradise, MC” Rika said, smiling. “I wished to speak to you and as soon as I reached your door I was informed that you were causing trouble some hours ago… I believe that we’ll have much to talk about.”

“Where is Ray?” MC asked, without moving. She was done with playing make believe with that crazy woman.

Annoying her even more, Rika smiled, acting oblivious to the questions. 

“Will you accompany me on a walk? The garden is simply lovely at night” Rika said, reaching her hand towards Myung, whose reaction was to push the woman's hand away.

“I asked: where is Ray?” Myung insisted. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Oh, please, Myung. Don't be like that…” Rika said while two believers entered the room, menacingly advancing towards Myung. “I will invite you again and I suggest that you accept it this time. I would hate to use other methods to convince you.” She smiled “Shall we go?”

MC took a step back. By the look on their faces, she knew that the believers would do anything to her if ordered by Rika. Only by thinking about Saeran she could imagine a number of things the cult leader could do against her, she had researched enough about cults to know how those people operated and being brainwashed or tortured was not on her “to-do” list. As a result, Myung followed the blonde woman downstairs, into the garden that she had visited with Ray the other night. The garden where V had made an appearance. 

“It truly is more beautiful at night, isn’t it?” Rika asked, occupying a place at Myung’s side and, with a sign of her hand, making the believers stay back while the two girls advanced through the garden.

“Rika, I want to know about Ray,” Myung insisted.

“Shh. Calm down, child. Everything will come at the right time.” Rika said, looking at a flower bed nearby. “At day, sunlight makes everything look dazzling and beautiful. But that makes you more ignorant of beauty, because you get used to it.” she digressed, pulling a blue rose out of the bush and holding it by the stem “At night, moonlight shines only the special ones with more sparkles. So you get to know that darkness is priceless.” 

Rika smiled as she taught, gently caressing the petals while her distant gaze seemed to trespass the thin leaves and land on something much deeper, that Myung was unable to see.

“So is air.” Rika continued, leading their walk “People take air for granted and do not realize how precious it is. They don’t even realize how precious it is to stay alive. Only when air is taken away that they are able to feel how precious it is. Ultimately, fear is what motivates people to seek happiness.” she came to a stop, looking at MC “When we first met, you have asked me about this place. This is a place where we give unconditional love to those that were wounded by the outside world.”

“Unconditional love?” MC scoffed, too annoyed to maintain her act.

“Yes. Unconditional.” Rika nodded. “I give people love and save them. Once they get used to love, I show them fear again, just enough to get them scared. Afterwards, I save them again. We repeat the endless cycle, so that happiness, joy and salvation are never taken for granted.” the woman looked down at the rose. “Let me tell you a story, Myung. Sit here with me.” 

Rika sat down on a wooden bench, tapping the place by her side. Unwillingly, MC sat down, listening attentively to what the cult leader had to say.

“There was once a seed. This small seed germinated, giving life to two equal plants. One of them grew strong, overcoming all the hardship of its inhospitable environment. The other, smaller and weaker, strived harder to survive, but it was always shielded by the care and love of the strongest plant. It grew used to that love. Afterwards, the strongest flower was taken away, leaving the weaker behind. When it was at the brink of death, gardeners came and took the small and frail plant with them. They gave it all the love they had, giving him water, fertilizer, medicine. All they could, they gave to the small plant. Once more, it got used to love. And after being used to it, the plant could no longer appreciate it in the same way, always sad and crying about how much it missed the stronger plant. The gardeners fought for a long time in order to bring him happiness and hope that the other plant would come back, until one of them realized the truth. Hope meant endless suffering for the frail plant, because the world was never made for it. The world belongs to the strong, not the weak. So, this gardener took the plant away. The first step in order to stop it’s suffering was to erase the memories it had of the stronger plant. No hope means no sadness. And later on, the only treatment it could have was unconditional love. The gardener never allowed it to be happy for long, since it would get used to that.”

“So that’s why you decided to brainwash Saeran and make him hate his brother?” Myung asked.

Rika did not pay any attention to her, getting up and walking towards a pot, filling it with dirt and placing the rose stem inside.

“Then one day, the rose found another plant. A strong plant. A _thinking_ plant who told him that he was precious, that he was strong, an innumerable amount of lies that gave him hope. How do you think that the gardener would feel?” she turned back to face MC.

“He is my friend, Rika. Those ideas of yours are twisted. No one is happy when living in a toxic place like this. Saeran is in pain.” MC stood up, walking towards her. “It’s time to put this to a stop. Please. Look at all those people, you can’t keep doing this. You are torturing them”

“You are just like everyone else in the outside world…” Rika pointed out, turning her back to Myung. “I was determined to give you a chance of seeing our darkness and true salvation, but apparently you are blinded by the arrogance of the strong. You leave me no choice.”

The blonde woman pulled a flask that contained a blue liquid inside. 

“The elixir will open your mind to the truth.”

MC backed away, shivering. Rika was smaller than her, but under the moonlight she seemed to gain a perilous appearance. As Myung looked around for escape routes, someone pulled her back, standing in between the two women.

“Rika, stop.” a male voice said, hovering his hand protectively in front of Myung. “Let her go. She has nothing to do with this”

MC recognized the voz almost at the same time when the figure pulled down it’s hood, revealing his mint-colored hair. 

“V?” Myung called, making the man look at her. 

“MC, are you hurt?” he asked, placing his hands on her shoulders before turning back to Rika. “Rika, please. I’m here now. You know why I’m here.”

“It’s been a while, V” Rika answered, keeping her blank face. “Thank you for coming to see me, the person who’s become the deceased thanks to you”

“I had to tell something to the others after you vanished like that,” V answered, stepping in front of MC once more. “I know that you won’t change your mind easily just because I’m here. Please. Just let her go. Let Saeran go, all these people. I’ll replace them.”

He was interrupted by her laugh, but did not stop talking.

“I’ll do anything you want. Just let Myung and the boy go away” V pleaded.

“Do you think I still care about you proving yourself to me?” Rika scoffed. “Well, be warned that I do not want to prove myself to you anymore. You’re a fool, V. Be free to keep yourself drowning in the past. I have a new acquisition now”

“Not her,” V insisted, pushing MC farther to his back. “She is innocent, Rika. Myung has nothing to do with you”

“You are so pathetic, V. Why are you here? To tell me that I’m wrong?” Rika laughed again.

“Please, Rika.” he begged. “Let them all go. You are mad at me. Let this madness end with the two of us. You have already dragged the boy into this, look what you’ve done”

“I saved him. I saved him from you and your lies!” She yelled. “I saved him, V. If I knew that you would keep bothering me, I would have completely destroyed your eyes back then. But here you are, the brave knight that will save everyone… It was truly easy to draw you here, wasn’t it?”

Without notice, Myung was pulled back, being held by her arms by one believer while the other two held V. The mint haired man tried to free himself, but the other two were stronger and did not take long before they could pin him to the ground. 

“V!” Myung yelled. “Rika, let him go!”

“No, MC” Rika laughed. “I’ve had enough of my ex-fiancé.” 

She walked towards V as the believers forced him to stand up. Softly, she caressed his cheek.

“V… I’ll soon give you what you want… The sense of sensory loss that you wanted so much. It’s my last mercy as your past lover.” she looked at the believers. “Take him to the basement.”

“What are you doing with him?” Myung asked, struggling against the firm grip of the believer. “V! V!”

“There is no need to call his name, my child” Rika said, looking at MC. “He might as well lose his hearing soon.” she chuckled, facing the believer. “Please, take Myung to her bedroom. I’m sure that _Ray_ will want to see her soon”

. . .

_Hyung was crying. He was hugging his own legs, trying to not let Saeran see, but the younger of the twins knew that his brother was silently sobbing. There was not much hiding when all they had was shared; their blankets, their clothes, their corner. Saeran was crying too. Mother had been too mean that night. Too mean. She was still angry and she hated when they cried. Saeran knew, but he was terrified and feeling so much pain, so he kept on crying, crying, crying, until he heard his brother sob. Saeyoung rarely cried. He knew that his brother always tried to be strong in order to take care of him, so it was surprising to see Saeyoung sobbing. His brother should be so scared, so hurt after everything she had done to him. It was Saeran’s fault, in the end. He had been the one who misbehaved and later on cried for his brother's help. Solely that had been enough to get her angrier at them. Afterwards, Saeyoung stood up to her and things were completely out of control. All because Saeran couldn’t stand up for himself nor receive the punishment for bothering her._

_Slowly, Saeran got closer to hyung and pulled him into a hug. Saeyoung cried harder, hugging him tight. Saeran cried too. The ginger boys held each other close, sharing the fear and trauma that mother had bestowed upon them._

_“You’ll be fine, hyung” Saeran whispered. “I’m taking care of you now”_

_Saeyoung cried more, giving Saeran a kiss on the cheek. Saeran loved his brother so much, he did not want to see him cry. Hyung would always protect him from everything. He was the kindest, most loving person in the world. Even if he was scared, he always tried to make sure that his smaller twin was safe, if his bruises had been taken care of, if his nightmares were being too mean to him. Saeran appreciated all that, but he also wished to show his brother that he too was capable of taking care of him. Saeyoung gave all of himself to Saeran, and the younger boy wished to give it back._

_“Shut up, you two” mother yelled._

_Saeran shrieked, but did not let go of Saeyoung, pulling him closer. His brother always protected him, always took care of him. He would do the same for him, even if it meant that mother would be angry._

_“What is that?” Mother laughed. “Did you get tired of being a useless moron being pampered by your brother, Saeran?”_

_The younger boy shivered, hugging his brother tighter. In his mind, he begged her to stop, stop, stop. He begged her to get angry and go away, just leave them and go drink outside. Saeran was terrified of her, but that night he couldn't give up and cry. He had to take care of his brother. He loved his brother, there was no way for him to allow her to ever beat Saeyoung that much again._

_“You're pathetic. I can't believe I gave birth to two bugs like you.” Mother said before going back to her mattress._

_Saeran placed his hand behind Saeyoung’s head, comforting him as much as he could. He shivered, feeling his breathing accelerate. It didn't take long for the pain to come to his chest while he tried to gasp some air. In the next second, Saeyoung wrapped his injured arms around him, leading his brother to lean against his bony chest. Swiftly, he began rocking his brother back and forth, kissing his head as he did so. Saeran had always loved small kisses on the head._

_“Shh, it’s fine,” Saeyoung cooed. “I’m here now. I’m here.”_

_Laying down with his brother, Saeyoung pulled the covers over them, as he always did, and curled up near Saeran. Slowly, he stroked his smaller brother's hair, playing with its soft waves._

_“I’m sorry, Saeran” Saeyoung whispered. “I’m sorry for being weak like that. I’m sorry for leaving you to deal with things alone”_

_“You’re not weak,” Saeran whispered back. “You're so brave and strong. You're the bravest person in the world, hyung”_

_“No, you are” Saeyoung chuckled. “Thank you, Saeran”_

_“For what?” Saeran asked._

_“Haven't I told you to shut the fuck up?” Mother yelled._

_Immediately, Saeyoung pulled his brother closer, being hugged back by him. They waited, waited, waited, staying in silence until her attention was drawn back to the TV. Saeran whimpered. He did not wish to cry. He had to take care of his brother._

_Overall, Saeran was a coward. He knew that. He could never gather the courage to go outside or stand against their mother. The boy was too weak to do so. But he also knew that sometimes he could find some courage inside of himself. Sometimes he took good care of his brother._

_“Thank you for being so strong,”_

_Sometimes he was strong and that made him happy._

. . .

The knock was loud, making MC jump. She had been curled up in bed, sobbing since the believer threw her inside the bedroom. The girl was terrified, unable to think of any other scenario that wouldn’t revolve around being hurt. She needed to leave, but she had to do it in a way to save Saeran and V. Even if she had acquired the information about what Rika had done to her friend, she had been the one to lose that round. In fact, she had already lost several rounds against the cult leader. 

“W-who is it?” MC asked, wiping her tears.

The knock repeated itself. Three knocks followed by silence. 

Slowly, she got up, listening to another three knocks on the door.

“What took you so long?”

Standing in the doorframe, she saw the slick figure and white hair that she knew so well.

“Ray!” she hugged him, allowing herself to cry. “I was so worried about you. What happened to you? What did she do to you?”

“What a passionate welcome” he scoffed, pushing her away from him and entering the room. “I was so curious about you. It’s not fun to watch from the backstage. What the hell did you do to this room? Is this your smell?”

“Ray?” Myung asked, closing the door behind her. “What are you-?

“It’s been only a couple of days and this room already stinks, filled with your smell.” he looked at the flowers over the table, scoffing. “Oh, he sure has his way with decorations. Did you know that he picked the flowers in your bedroom? So lame.” he looked back at MC. “Isn’t Ray such a good boy? Can’t he see that he’ll end up becoming a puppet if he acts like a nice idiot?”

MC took one step in his direction, staring straight at him. He wasn’t being himself. His eyes, what had happened to them? Those were not Ray’s eyes, and still, they had the same cruel spark that she had seen in the apartment. When he tried to kidnap her. Who was that person?

“Ray… this isn’t like you”

“Are you dumb or what?” he yelled, making her back away. “Why am I even asking this, of course you are. Stupid Myung Chae, always so nice, so kind, so nauseating.” he began walking in her direction, making her back away. “You’re so weak. Stupid airhead. If you behave like him, you’ll become a puppet like him.” he stopped, staring at her. “Why are you looking at me like that? Even the sight of you is pissing me off. Do you wish for an explanation, _princess?_ That’s what he called you that day, wasn’t it? The princess and her knights, playing in the park. Such a stupid memory. But don’t worry, princess. I’ll tell you this little secret me and Ray have. I’m not that idiot that devoted himself to you.”

MC was shivering, continuing to back away. 

“I don’t understand what you are saying…” MC said. “What-”

“I’m not Ray, idiot” he said, pushing her against the wall. “Gosh, you are so stupid. How the hell am I supposed to deal with you? Stop asking me questions, I’m not a teacher!” he yelled. “I’m only saying this once, so you better listen. Since Savior told me to treat you “specially”, I’ll “specially” tell you. Ray is my creation. He is not real, dummy. He is only the most pathetic part of me. _ME._ The real one, Saeran. Are you remembering me now, Myung? Did you miss me? Did you like playing together in the park when we were kids?” he laughed, but soon his face was distorted in anger. “I ended up explaining everything so nicely to you, didn’t I? You’re so annoying!” he yelled.

Myung could barely breathe, her legs shivered so much that she knew that she did not have the wall to lean against, she would probably fall. 

“Saeran, calm down. Please” she begged. “I want to help-”

“Shut up!” he yelled, taking a deep breath and leaning over her, standing too close to her comfort. “This smell has been getting on my nerves, did you know? You… You tried to get rid of me, didn’t you? Saying all those nice things for him, trying to use him like a puppet. Didn’t you?”

“I never tried to use anyone!” she answered, feeling anger go up to her face. “I meant every single word I said! I’m trying to help you, Saeran!”

“Shut up! Shut! Up!” he yelled, giving her another push against the wall. “What is this sad face? Are you sad that I’m here and not that idiot? Why would that bug even care for someone like you? No, wait. I get it. You must have comforted each other, didn’t you? Since you are both idiots. Just look at you, what good is in there? You’re stupid, you’re slow, you’re a good for nothing. So shut up, Myung Chae. Know your place and stay silent like a grave! And stop shivering. You’re so annoying.”

He walked away from her, but MC didn’t move. The girl wanted to cry, scream, but she didn’t. She stood still, patiently waiting for him, trying to keep a calm facade before he left the room.

“You’re no fun to play with? Is that the only face you know how to make? At least when you got angry it was a bit fun. Come, do something! How can you be so boring? You’re so annoying, such a nuisance.” he looked at her. “Listen to me, listen” he got closer once more, holding her against the wall. “You’re only here because I wanted you to be. So at least try to make it fun for me, will you? I don’t know what crap of a memory you hold of me, but just let that fucking go. I’m not your friend, I’m better than that. I’m not a weakling like you to need friends.” he laughed “I cannot wait to see you mess up and be cleansed. It will be amazing to watch. I’m leaving now, but I’ll be back once I’m bored, so you better think of a way to not be this boring.”

He left and MC fell on the ground. She couldn’t think of anything. Only the sound of her sobs came out of the room that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was absolutely thrilled to write Ray changing into Suit Saeran. I love this moment in the route and how it plays so well throughout the entire time.
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love it!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	25. Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aside from Saeran being rude af, there are no warnings in this chapter.

Vanderwood dropped the last bag inside the cabin, locking the car before closing the door shut. The ex-agent stretched, kicking the bag to the side while he took a look around. The cabin was made of wood, but even if abandoned it seemed comfortable enough and still managed to keep the soothing atmosphere it might have had in its prime. The man walked past Saeyoung, who was setting up the computers and equipment over the dinner table, and headed towards the two bedrooms. Every furniture was covered in dust, showing how the house had remained abandoned for a long time. Vanderwood took the bed sheets and covers, laying them in the window in order for them to get some air and allow the dust to wear off.

“Why the hell is this place like this?” he asked, walking back to the living room. “I thought that this photographer guy was all rich and stuff.”

“After Rika hurt his eyes, he stopped coming here,” Saeyoung answered, without reising his eyes from the screen. “I don’t know what happened, but one day he asked me if I could install an assistant device in his cellphone so that it could work based on his voice. It did not take much time for me to get him to spill what Rika had done. After that, he began travelling a lot to take pictures before he completely lost his sight.”

“Nice lady,” Vanderwood murmured, dropping the bag over the kitchen counter and starting to organize the food they brought. “How long has it been?”

“Why are you so interested all of the sudden?” Saeyoung asked, glancing at Vanderwood before turning back to the ball of cables that he was trying to disentangle.

“Well, I’ve been dragged to the middle of what I can only call the worst family crisis ever. I deserve at least some answers. Couldn’t you have been adopted by normal people?” 

Saeyoung rolled his eyes, kneeling on the floor to plug the cables into the equipment. 

“I don’t know exactly when he stopped coming here. V told me about his eyes a little before Rika disappeared.” the ginger boy answered. “And I was not adopted.”

Vanderwood leaned over the counter. “Who is your legal guardian again?”

“Shut up,” Saeyoung said, without paying him much attention. “Is the monitor on?”

“Yes,” Vanderwood answered. “And we have a signal, the satellite connected. Great.”

Vanderwood watched the monitor display the image of the garden that they had been monitoring for the past day. Even if it was already night, he could see the flowers and trees dancing with the wind. Suddenly, before he could look away, the man could see two figures walking together. One of them was the blonde woman that had been the reason for the discussion between Saeyoung and Yoosung. The other was the brunette girl that he had grown used to seeing through CCTVs.

“Seven, I see movement.” he said, standing from the chair. “Crap, Seven, it’s your girlfriend.”

Saeyoung rushed to the monitor and immediately his eyes met MC. Seeing her made him smile. She should be safe and healthy, considering that she was walking with Rika. That was good. The ginger boy sat down, watching closely as the two women sat on a bench. From what he could observe, Rika was doing the talking and MC was listening.

“What do you think it’s going on?” Vanderwood asked, crossing his arms in front of himself.

“No idea…” Saeyoung answered. “Crap, I wish satellites could capture sound.”

The two women stood up and Saeyoung tensened up. Something was wrong. Holding the urge of taking the car and rushing there at the same moment, he watched MC begin to back away while Rika advanced towards her, until one man stood in between them. When the mint haired man took off his hood, Seven covered his mouth with his hands. V was there. V knew about the place and he was there, dressed like one of the believers, apparently involved deeply into that cause. 

“Kid…” Vanderwood called.

Saeyoung had no answer. He stood still, watching V’s protective attitude over MC, being thrown in the ground and dragged away. He watched MC be taken away too and only Rika remained in the garden, smiling the most sinister smile he had seen in his life. Saeyoung knew what power did to people. It did not have to be much, only the ability of doing anything to something or someone could be thrilling to people. That was why he was not surprised when he saw Rika smiling like his mother. The same smile of someone who knew that she had control over someone else’s life. Seyoung touched the screen. That smile used to be kind. That smile used to comfort him whenever he cried, with hugs and kisses so foreign to him. When he was younger, he admired Rika, longing to give back to her and V all the care they had bestowed upon him. The ginger boy watched her smile. Once more he had no father, no mother. She had taken everything away from him. Why? Why? Saeyoung buried his face in his hands. Why?

. . .

_ Yoosung met Rika through mandatory community service. When the school announced the amount of hours of community service they needed to complete, Yoosung was desperate. He had never done something like that, nor had a clue of where to go. It all sounded boring and dull, besides, he wouldn’t know where to start once he arrived at the places. His conflict continued until his mother suggested for him to talk to his cousin.They had never met before, but the older woman was quick to volunteer to take him to do community service with her. Even if awkward at first, their relationship was quick to grow and evolve. Like that, he got to know more about his older cousin, the daughter of his mother’s sister.  _

_ “Yoosung, there you are!” Rika called him as he walked back towards the elder’s center they were helping to renovate. He had just finished taking some bags of cement to the back, where a group of volunteers was building an annexe to the center. The teenage boy felt exhausted, dragging his feet up to noona.  _

_ “Hey, Rika-noona. Is everything alright?” he asked “Thank you again for helping me find a place to do community service” _

_ “Don’t worry about it” she smiled “It’s good to see you interested in helping others.” _

_ “Uh, yeah” he let out a awkward laugh, scratching the back of his neck “I… am totally enjoying it, for sure” _

_ “That’s good! Can you help me with this box? It's really heavy…” _

_ He winced, looking around for other people that could give her any help. _

_ “Can’t those guys help you out?” he asked “I’m really tired, noona, I was heading towards the office to organize paperwork…” _

_ “I see…” she stopped, thinking “Well, go ahead, then. I’ll do it myself” _

_ “What?” he asked “Just ask those guys over there, I’m sure they’ll…” _

_ “It’s fine, Yoosung.” she smiled, placing her hand underneath the box “Don’t worry. Take a break, you seem really tired. Don’t push yourself” _

_ As she tried to lift it, the weight pulled her back down, making her stumble and almost fall. _

_ “Noona” Yoosung supported the box with his hands, pulling it towards him and making her let go “I’ll help you, alright? You’ll end up getting hurt like this” _

_ “You are so kind, Yoosung” she giggled “I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t you here to help me out. We always need more volunteers” _

_ “I’m happy to help” he smiled, proud of himself after her compliment. “I’ll admit, noona, things get really boring sometimes…” _

_ “Well…” she stopped to think for a minute “I know that we are still practically strangers, but can I tell you something?” _

_ “Is this something called nagging?” he asked. _

_ Rika laughed. “It depends on how you’ll take it. I do not intend to nag you. It’s just that I think that I know why you are feeling bored.” she looked at him “You feel bored because you think that your actions do not affect you or others in any way. We tend to judge how useful something is through the way that it affects others and ourselves, and the things that affect yourself ultimately take into account your relationship with others.” _

_ “That’s hard to understand…” _

_ “What I’m saying is: all works that you consider that are not affecting others will be boring to you, because you’ll think that they have no worth.” she held the door open for him to pass “And you think that what you are doing here doesn’t affect the ones that you care about.” _

_ “You are not wrong” the boy said, dropping the box on the floor “But there aren’t many people that I care about. I try not to mind other people too much… It gives me a headache” _

_ “Yes, but that is difficult to do, since people tend to reflect themselves upon others as they live. The moments that pain us arise from our fear that nobody will love us; and the moments that make us happy arise when we are recognized, loved, and accompanied by others to share something enjoyable. All you need to do is allow yourself to connect with others. Are you interested in that?” _

_ Yoosung nodded. _

_ “So take this candy and take it to that old lady over there” she smiled. “Just go. You’ll see what I’m telling you” _

_ Slowly, he walked towards a lady that was knitting in a rocking chair. _

_ “Excuse me…” he called. _

_ “Yes, dear?” the old lady looked up to him. _

_ “Would you like some candy?” Yoosung asked. _

_ “Why, thank you!” the old lady exclaimed “I’ve never seen you around here, but if Rika brought you I’m sure that you are as lovely as she is. Could you help me for a bit? My wool is a mess, if you could help me untangle it I’ll be very thankful” _

_ After that day, Yoosung had gotten something to look for when he attended community service. Rika showed him the beauty of human connection, a world where he was not alone and was useful to those around him. Rika showed him love, hope and kindness. So much kindness. _

. . .

Yoosung walked around Zen’s apartment, waiting for the rice to finish cooking in order for him to set up their breakfast. With his cellphone pressed against his ear, the boy kept on nodding, murmuring words of agreement while his colleague talked. Since Seven asked him and Zen to gather information about Mint Eye, he had been restlessly contacting people from his school, hoping that at least one of them would lead him to a concrete clue. That was how he got on the phone with Hyun-jae, his colleague’s friend’s cousin. 

“Yes… Really?... I understand… No one?... I’m asking for a friend… Yeah, I think he might have gotten into trouble… I’m really worried about him… Can you send it to me?.... Thanks, dude… I will, thanks… Bye then”

Yoosung hung up, looking at the link the man had just sent him. Smiling proudly, he turned back to Zen, who was lying on the couch.

“Hyung! Hey, Hyung!” he called, walking towards him.

“Just a minute,” Zen answered, looking at his phone.

ZEN: Congratulations!!!

ZEN: I told you that you would get it!

Ilsung: Thank yooou

Ilsung: I’m so so so happy right now

Ilsung: I was sure that I would not get this part

ZEN: And I was sure that you would.

ZEN: You’re a great actor

“Hyung, I found something!” Yoosung said, looking down at Zen. “Can’t you put your phone aside for two seconds?”

“Just a minute,” Zen answered.

ZEN: I guess that this means that now I owe you a coffee 

ZEN: and also a dinner to celebrate

ZEN: What do you tell me?

Ilsung: I tell you that I’m vegetarian, 

Ilsung: so you better find a nice vegetarian place

“Who are you talking to so much?” Yoosung grinned.

“No one,” Zen answered.

“Is it a date?”

“Yoosung, just let me finish this, dude. Chill.”

ZEN: Your wish is my command

ZEN: I just need to solve this family stuff

Ilsung: Yeah, you told me that your cousin is staying with you

Ilsung: things must be hectic right now

Ilsung: Do you need help with something?

ZEN: Don’t worry about it, handsome

ZEN: Things are starting to work out

Ilsung: Can I celebrate that our date is getting closer?

ZEN: Yeah you can <3

“Give me that, let me see her!”

Yoosung pulled Zen’s phone out of his hands, running to the bedroom.

“Give it back!” Zen yelled, running after him. “Yoosung, I’m serious, give my cellphone back”

“Come on, I just wanna see her!” Yoosung looked down to the phone screen, immediately making a puzzled face. “Hyung, did you know that it’s a guy?”

“Give it to me,” Zen pulled the phone out of Yoosung’s hand, dropping himself on the bed. 

He buried his face on his hands, a storm of thoughts transpassing his mind. He had not told Yoosung. The only person who knew about him was Seven. Deep down, he was terrified of telling him. The boy came from a truly conservative family, he had never even touched the subject in fear of knowing his friend’s opinion.

“Hyung… Are you gay?” Yoosung asked. 

“I’m bisexual.” Zen answered.

Silence fell in the room. Slowly, Yoosung sat on the bed by his side.

“Are you dating him?”

“Would there be a problem if I was?”

“No?” Yoosung answered, tilting his head to the side and looking at Zen. “Wait, that’s why you are quiet like that? I thought that you were pissed off with me for taking your phone. Hyung… Are you afraid of what I think?”

Zen looked at him, without saying a word.

“Zen… You are one of the coolest people I know” Yoosung said. “It won’t change because I found out that you are bi. You are still the same person, and you can love whoever you want. I’m not… I’m not  _ that _ kind of person, that judges people because of that. Alright?”

The actor smiled, ruffling the boy’s blonde hair. Listening to that, it felt stupid ever thinking that Yoosung’s reaction would be anything different. 

“Thank you, kid” Zen said. 

“Don’t worry. And I won’t ever take your phone again.” he laughed

“You better not!” Zen laughed too. “What did you want to show me?”

Yoosung smiled, unlocking his own phone.

“I got in contact with a guy that was almost recruited by the Mint Eye. He went there but after seeing their leader’s speech, he got terrified and ran away, but he managed to record a part of it. He posted it to MeTube about a year ago, but it never got much repercussion.”

“We should forward it to Jaehee and Saeyoung” Zen pointed out.

“I agree… But we should watch it first, right?” He took a deep breath. “I’m a bit scared of watching it…”

“We’ll do it together. For MC and Saeran” Zen smiled.

The younger boy clicked the link that immediately opened the video in his cellphone. On the screen he could see the slick figure he knew so well, her blond hair, fierce green eyes. Yoosung watched Rika give a speech in the Mint Eye, addressing herself as the Savior and defending ideas that he had never imagined that belonged to her. Yoosung had no reaction as his memories of his beloved cousin crumbled while he watched the so-called Savior giving her speech.

. . .

Jaehee walked fast through the office, holding the phone tight in her hand. She knew well that Mr. Han did not appreciate meetings without previous notice, but according to his schedule he was available and there was no use in postponing giving him that horrific notice. She opened the glass door, looking at him before coming in.

“Sir, may I have a word?” she asked. “Yoosung has found a valuable piece of information about the Mint Eye and… about who is behind this.”

“Of course, come in,” he motioned to her, closing the drapes that surrounded the glass walls. “What did he find?”

“First of all, is Mr. Chairman aware of the Intelligence Unit?” Jaehee asked. “I met him in the elevator this morning and I have some suspicions that you did not inform him of C&R’s new department.”

“Assistant Kang, there are some enterprises that are best kept away from my father’s eyes. Do you judge this a bad idea?”

“Of course not, sir, I absolutely agree. I just think that our team should be informed so that he doesn’t find out.”

“I like how you think, assistant Kang. So, what information did the boy find?”

“We should sit down for this,” she said.

Upon seeing the video on her phone, Jumin had no reaction but closing his eyes. That was one of his best friends commiting a series of crimes. Creating a cult. Kidnapping. Now they had someone to attribute Mint Eye’s crimes to, he only wished that it had not been Rika.

. . . 

_ The small house seemed empty. The irregular wooden walls, stained with humidity and abandonment. Inside, there was silence. One of the ginger boys was sitting on the counter, quietly reading a book. The other was on the floor, playing with a small rubber ball. Saeran looked at his brother, who fixed his glasses over his nose, trying to get any response from him. Saeyoung had been reading since their mother left the house hours before, barely lifting his head from the book. Most times the younger twin refrained from disturbing him while reading, but Saeran wanted to do something, anything. _

_ “Hyung,” Saeran called, to no response. “Saeyoung!” _

_ “Huh? Yeah, Saeran? What?” _

_ “I’m bored,” the boy said, standing on his knees and placing his chin over the counter. “Let’s do something fun, please” _

_ The older twin looked back to his book, memorizing the page before putting it to the side. In sequence, he smiled, laying on his belly and flicking his brother’s forehead.  _

_ “What do you wanna do?” he asked, smiling.  _

_ “We could…” Saeran stopped to think. “I don’t know, I’m just bored.” he sighed. _

_ Saeyoung jumped from the counter, taking the ball from the floor. _

_ “Let’s play a game, then. This is your goal.” he said, placing their blanket on the floor “And this is mine” he said, standing in the kitchen door. “Whoever makes more points, wins. Don’t throw the ball too hard, it’s on the rules. Also, if I throw it to the left of our blanket, I don’t make a point, alright? The goal is in between the blanket and the wall.” _

_ The twins rarely came to an argument. Because of their condition, they had grown to always rely on each other, therefore, quarrels had always been unusual between them. All they truly had was each other, so they had learned everything they could or couldn’t do to one another and they always tried to make each other as happy as possible. There were not many things that were able to create animosity between them, but competitiveness was one of them. As the game began, the friendly teasings grew more annoying, less funny, more realistic. _

_ “You cheater!” Saeran said. “You totally missed the goal! You didn’t score the point!” _

_ “I’m a cheater? You are lying about the goal, the ball was inside the goal line! How can you lie so much?” Saeyoung answered. _

_ Saeran squeezed the ball in his hands, angry about his brother’s actions. Saeyoung never accepted losing, he would always have to come up with an excuse. _

_ “You are such a cheater and a liar! You lost, I won!”  _

_ “Fine, I didn’t score then. I’m not playing anymore, but enjoy your victory. At least I don’t need to lie in order to win!” _

_ As the boy turned to go into the kitchen, he felt the rubber ball hitting him in the back of his head. Immediately, he turned to face Saeran, whose face was shining in the strongest tone of red.  _

_ “Hey! Why the hell did you-?”  _

_ Saeyoung was interrupted by a knock on the door. No one ever visited their home, there was no reason why someone would come at that time of the day. Scared, he turned back to his brother.  _

_ “Go back to the corner.” receiving no response from his scared twin, he proceeded to take his hand, leading him to the corner where they slept. “Stay here, all right? I’ll go see who it is.” _

_ “Mom told us to not open the door,” Saeran answered, holding his brother’s hand. “She’ll be mad at us. Besides, what if it’s-” _

_ “It won’t be. He had no idea of where we live.” Saeyoung answered, pulling his hand out of Saeran’s grip. “Just stay here, alright? I’ll be right back, I’m just going to take a look.” _

_ Saeran hugged his own legs, watching his brother disappear into the kitchen. He could not hear the conversation that followed, but at every second he grew more anxious, thinking about the identity of that mysterious person that had knocked on their door and their intentions. His brother was dealing with it alone, as he always did. Saeran hated being so useless, he should be taking care of Saeyoung too. He wished that he could be stronger so that he could go and answer the door too, but his brother was always worried if something scary would happen and lead him into another panic attack. _

_ The younger boy was brought back from his thoughts when he heard his brother coming to him, carrying a small plastic bag. _

_ “It was the nicest lady! She was selling homemade ice cream. I told her that I only could pay for one, but she heard us talking before, so she gave me the other for free, isn’t it nice?” _

_ Saeran eyes sparkled when he smiled. “Yes! She was so kind… Does she live around here?” _

_ “Yes, I just don’t know where.” Saeyoung answered. “Here, take one. They are chocolate” _

_ Saeran pulled one of the packages out of the bag, smiling while he opened it and took a bite out of the cold treat. Saeran loved ice cream. _

_ “Hey… Sorry for calling you a cheater.” Saeyoung said “I was wrong to do that, the ball hadn’t really crossed the right line.” _

_ “Yeah, I know,” Saeran answered, laughing after seeing his brother’s indignated face. _

_ “You are impossible!” Saeyoung laughed, giving Saeran a soft push. “Stop laughing! You are not funny!” _

_ Seeing that his brother did not stop, the older twin pulled Saeran’s hand and took a bit of his ice cream. _

_ “Hey!” Saeran complained, taking a bite of his brother's ice cream as well. “Jerk” he laughed. _

_ Saeyoung hugged him by the side. “Yeah, I’m a jerk.” He laughed. _

_ The two boy’s continued playing, enjoying the summer’s afternoon when their mother was out. Their life was not happy all the time, but it was much better whenever they were together. _

_. . . _

Saeran rubbed his eyes. He had dozed off and dreams, horrific dreams, were coming to his mind.  _ It wasn’t so bad.  _ He had been dreaming about lies, almost as if they were  _ memories.  _ No. No. No. Saeran did not have memories, they were just a waste of time for him. He was strong, and his past was simply filled with the pathetic excuse of life that he had been.  _ That Ray is.  _ The young man shook his head. Memories. Memories. Memories. He hated them. They were never part of his routine before that girl came. Stupid Myung Chae.  _ Kind Myung Chae.  _ What was she doing to him?  _ She wants to help.  _ I don’t need help.  _ She's our friend.  _ I don’t need friends. 

He stood up from his desk, leaving the computer for the first time since he got back from MC’s room on the night before. The sun should be shining outside, but he wouldn’t know. There were no windows in his bedroom.  _ I miss the sky.  _ Shut up. Saeran hated the stupid sky, he hated it, hated, hated. _ Hated? _ He did. What did that girl do to him? Why was he feeling like that? Thinking like that. Like an idiot, idiot, idiot. No. Saeran was strong. Much stronger than Ray and MC. Weaklings.  _ We should protect her. _ She would be protected if she learned not to be so annoying. 

The boy walked around. Stupid girl. Stupid. Stupid. She was so annoying that she disturbed him even from far away. That dumb face and eyes that were always so scared. Nauseating eyes.  _ She likes us.  _ She doesn’t. Saeran never needed anyone to care about him, just Savior. He had learned to be strong, much stronger than that weakling Ray.  _ No one hurts you if you are strong, right?  _ No one. He was healthy now because Ray was finally gone. All he had to do was take care of that idiot Myung. Idiot, idiot.  _ She is not an idiot.  _ Shut up. 

He took his phone out of his pocket, smiling.

Saeran: Hey princess

Saeran: Where are you?

Saeran: Don’t you wanna talk to me?

MC: Hi, Saeran

MC: Can I help you with anything?

Saeran: Ugh, you are so lame

Saeran: I’m bored

Saeran: And I keep thinking about your stupid face

Saeran: Did you know that your friends in the RFA 

Saeran: made a special unit of hackers

Saeran: Just to fight me?

MC: Really?

Saeran: They’re so stupid

Saeran: Stupid, stupid RFA

Saeran: Like they could ever stop me

Saeran: They are airheads like you

Saeran: So tell me MC

Saeran: Did you miss me?

Saeran: hahahahahahahah

MC: Actually, Saeran

MC: I wanted to talk to you some more

Saeran: Talk

Saeran: to

Saeran: me????

Saeran: As if you’re my equal or something????

Saeran: hahahahahaah

Saeran: Really

Saeran: You’re pathetic

MC: No, I’m not

MC: I’m your friend Myung

MC: And I don’t know what crap has gotten into your head

MC: But I’m not leaving things like this.

Saeran: hahahahahahaha

Saeran: You are so 

Saeran: So

Saeran: Pathetic

Saeran: Tell me the truth

Saeran: You like playing with me don’t you?

MC: Right now, no

MC: Not at all

Saeran: Too bad

Saeran: Me neither

Saeran: You are so BORING

Saeran: Come up with a new trick or two, will you?

Saeran: Can’t you do anything fun?

Saeran: I had fun with you scared and crying yesterday

Saeran: That was hilarious

Saeran: hahahahaha

MC: Okay

Saeran: Just so you know

Saeran: I told the believers not to let anyone else in your room

Saeran: Only me

Saeran: Let’s see how desperate you’ll be when your days 

Saeran: become only waiting for me all day long

Saeran: hahahahahahah

MC: Should I be scared or something?

Saeran: Ugh

Saeran: So dull

Saeran: You know what?

Saeran: I’m going to tell them not to give you food anymore

Saeran: I’m not liking your attitude

MC: Saeran, why are you trying so hard to torment me?

MC: We are friends

MC: What did Rika do to you?

Saeran: This will make sure that you won’t lift your face to me

Saeran: I would hate to see you eating well

Saeran: and getting enough energy

Saeran: to raise your head higher.

Saeran: I’d rather die than have to look straight into your face

Saeran: So do you mind keeping your head down in front of me?

Saeran: Why should we waste time and resources feeding an airhead like you?

Saeran: You’ll be funnier when you don’t have the energy to fight back

MC:You are trying so hard, Saeran

MC: I know you

MC: Your brother knows you

MC: You can do whatever you want, 

MC: but I’m not leaving this place without saving you.

Saeran: Saving me?????

saeran: Well, aren’t you the hero?

Saeran: My Savior was so kind to keep you alive

Saeran: You’re such a stupid good-for-nothing

MC: Those words can’t hurt me

MC: I’m not afraid of you

Saeran: Can’t they?

Saeran: OH

Saeran: Aren’t you great?

Saeran: You know what

Saeran: Let me see how brave you are, Myung Chae

Saeran: I’m going to pay you a little visit now

Saeran: Let’s see if you are truly not afraid.

MC threw her phone over the bed and stood up facing her door. Saeran wanted to play with her, so that would be done. If she lost, she would probably go mad in that place, but if she won… If MC played her cards right, she would get her friend back. That was a risk she was willing to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited about where this story is going!!! 
> 
> Also, if you want to see more of Zen being a bisexual icon:  
> I have written a fic called 2am - which I totally recommend AND takes place in the same timeline as this fic, just a couple of years back - and you can access through here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870777  
> Also, my beautiful friend alwayssaywhatever is currently writting a fic called Wine and Cigarettes regarding Zen and Jumin, so please go give her some love, she totally deserves it! Check it out here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903921/chapters/62952157
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	26. Bravery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:   
> \- References to bullying  
> \- Child abuse

_ MC had to grow used to dealing with bullies. She never understood why those boys enjoyed tormenting her so much, sometimes she wondered if they knew why, as she had never been able to see where the enjoyment was in making other people miserable. Sometimes, she laid in bed thinking what could be so despicable in her that the others wished so much to point out. She knew that she could not be that bad. She was nice to people, she had always been. But still, she would never be fast enough, or smart enough, or even cool enough. They called her useless and she hated being called that. _

_ “Don’t cry, Myung” Areum said, rubbing her friend’s back as they sat together underneath the grandstand in the school’s sports court. “They are stupid boys, you shouldn’t care about them” _

_ “But they said…” _

_ “It doesn’t matter what they said. It is not true! They are just huge jerks.” _

_ “It doesn’t make it hurt less,” Myung answered, burying her face in her knees. _

_ “No, it doesn’t,” Areum answered, stroking MC’s hair. “They are mean, I know that. You can’t control what they’ll say to you, MC. But you can control how you’ll react. Besides, if things are too bad, I’ll always be here to kick their asses for you” _

_ Areum and her grandmother had been her safe ports in her journey to learning how to deal with the boys that enjoyed so much to harm her. Everyday they gave her attention and support, aside from warm hugs whenever she cried. They were the ones that made MC happy, in a way that the boys began to be a simple nuisance in her day. She did not like them, no, and they continued to torment her, but it became a smaller torment. She knew that she should not care about them anymore. _

_ After Areum died, MC reached one of her darkest places. She had no interest in talking or leaving the house. Her grandmother was the only person who was able to talk to her. A month passed before she managed to go back to school. She hated going back to that place, as she believed that everything was bound to be worse since Areum was gone. One of her safe ports had vanished and she was stranded in a dreadful sea, alone. _

_. . . _

Saeran did not knock before entering her room. MC had been waiting for him, standing still by the side of the bed, facing the door. She was serious, her eyes sharply staring at the young man so familiar and yet so unknown to her. He grinned upon seeing her, almost as if the mockery had crawled it’s way up his throat and was ready to jump into the outside world.

“Good morning, princess.” he said. “Surprised?”

“No, you said that you were coming.” she answered, crossing her arms in front of herself. “May I help you with anything, Saeran?”

“Ugh, you’re so lame. Can’t you even try to be a bit fun? Not even a little?” He scoffed. “What’s up with this attitude of yours? Do you miss your little friend, Ray? Do you want to take a stroll in the garden with him?”

“Well, seeing that you and Ray are the same person, I’m not interested in the moment. When you come back to your senses and we manage to solve whatever the hell Rika has done to you, we can go and see flowers.”

MC was getting annoyed with him. His attitude, his way of talking to her. That was not right. Nothing regarding that situation was right. 

“Watch out how you talk to me,” he angrily voiced, taking a step in her direction. “You are just a dumb girl. Really, MC, you are so fucking weak I cannot even imagine how the hell you’ve reached adulthood. You’re pathetic.” he laughed. “Didn’t I tell you that you are not supposed to raise your head to me?”

“Yeah, you mentioned that,” she answered, looking into his eyes. “But you know what  _ I  _ think that’s going on here? I think that you are saying all this crap and behaving like this simply because you believe that you need to make me feel bad in order for you to feel good about yourself. But guess what, Saeran. I’ve dealt with this all my life, buddy, and I am  _ not _ scared. Do you wanna play being an asshole? Fine. Two can play this game.”

“Excuse me, princess. Have I offended you? Is that it?” he advanced towards her, but MC didn’t move. She would not show him that she was scared. “Who said you could talk like that to me? Is your mouth the problem? Or is it your brain that can’t work properly?” he pushed her against the wall “You’re such a waste of time and effort. Such a waste.”

“You can say whatever you want to me,” MC answered. “I know that she did something to you, she told me. Saeran, snap out of it. Please. This is not you, Rika has been manipulating you to make you obey her. She was the one that messed with your personalities!”

“Shut up! Shut up!” he yelled. “Shut up. You have no right talking about my Savior like that.”

“She is not saving you, she is imprisoning you in here!” MC confronted him. “Me and Saeyoung are trying to help you!”

“Shut your mouth!” he yelled again. “Don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare saying that name in here.” he pointed his finger to her. “If you ever… If you ever say it again…”

“What? Say it Saeran, what will you do?” MC did not avert her gaze from his eyes. “Look at me and say it. Will you kill me? Is that how you are going to solve things? By killing me?” 

MC saw him wince for the first time. Something that she said had gotten to him, it was her duty to seize the opportunity. He took a step back, but Myung continued talking, softer than before.

“Saeran, please. Listen to me.” slowly, she took his hand in hers. “I’m your friend. We played together when we were kids. We were lost and terrified, but we managed to go back to our families because we stuck together. I don’t know what they have told you in this place, but try and remember that day. Remember us. Your brother was there too, remember him. She can’t have taken it all away from you”

Saeran pulled his hand away, taking another step back. 

“Are you stupid or what? Pathetic, girl. Memories are for weaklings. I don’t need this shit. I’m strong now. What do you think would happen? That you would give your little speech and I would magically turn back into that pathetic excuse of life that it’s Ray?” He scoffed. “That’s why you are here. You were fucking stupid to trust in a stranger that texted you. You are the only one to blame to be here. And don’t think that you are too special. I chose you because you seemed dumb enough to serve as bait. I’m coming back later, and you better have done something about this stupid attitude.”

He slammed the door shut and MC allowed herself to fall over the bed. She kept on listening to Rika's words from the night before, remembering her discussion with V. So much had happened in the last twelve hours of her life and she felt helpless, abandoned. Saeyoung had not sent any sign that he was close to that place, something that by itself worried her more than anything. Saeran had changed into a much darker version of himself. The same version that tried to take her out of the apartment by force. Even if deep down Myung told herself that he was like that because of the brainwashing, she couldn’t stop wondering if, in the end, she would be left with Ray or Saeran. Both? Or neither? Could there be another version of himself, much closer to the boy she had met ten years before? She did not know. Truth was that even if she cared so much about him, too many years had passed by. She did not know who that boy was anymore. 

_ “I’m sorry for bringing you into this.” _ Ray had sobbed over the phone.  _ “I’m sorry… But please, listen to me. I might… I might lose myself.” _

Lose himself. It was a warning. He would lose himself. Lose himself as Ray? Or his personality as a whole? Myung stood up, walking around the room. She needed to remember more, revisit her conversations with Ray, search for clues, for hints of precisely what Rika had done to him.

_ “I wish everything would just go away. My past, my weakness. No one would torture me if I was strong.” _

No one would torture him if he was strong. More than once Ray had mentioned his troubled past, saying how much pain he had to overcome in order to be alive. He was terrified of being abandoned, could abandonment be one torture for him?

_ “I can’t even protect myself from mother, I can’t… I never could…” _

Rika was using his past against him. She could have shamed him for the abuse he had endured, blamed it on him until he caved, until he gave up on himself and opened space for her to create a new persona for him.

_ “I’m fine, don’t c-come close”  _ he said after snapping at the mention of Saeyoung’s name.

He knew about his two personas, and tried to shield her. If he knew and had moments when his “Saeran” persona appeared, Myung was sure that “Ray” should still be awake somewhere near him. She knew it because he had winced when she mentioned being killed by him. For one second she saw in his eyes the same sadness from the day in the park. Because of that second she knew that her friend was not beyond salvation, the only problem was that both her and V were running out of time. 

. . .

_ The boys were sitting together on the floor. Saeran was sleepy, but mother had said that they would eat, so he forced himself to stay awake, leaning his head over Saeyoung’s shoulder. He had never been a good child in his mother’s eyes, he knew that. He was weak and dumb, getting sick all the time and disturbing his brother that had to take care of him. Saeran hated being weak like that. He wished to help his brother with the errands, but mother never allowed him to leave home; the rope that was always attached to his ankle was there to ensure that. Still, Saeyoung told him the contrary. His brother would always tell him that mother was wrong, calling him smart and brave. Saeran did not comprehend that. He did not know if his brother was too naive to see how useless he was or if Saeyoung made it all up to make him feel better. In any way, it worked. Whenever Saeyoung complimented him, Saeran could not refrain from smiling, even if it was for a second.  _

_ He loved his brother so much, so much, so much. Saeran’s admiration for Saeyoung could hardly be expressed in words. Saeyoung was able to smile and make jokes even in the hardest moments, when the only thing that Saeran did was cry. Besides, he was healthy and strong, so useful to everyone. Mother got angry at him too, but mostly because of Saeran. Deep down, Saeran felt like a nuisance. Even if Saeyoung got mad whenever he called himself that, he felt like one. Mother told him many times that he was one. Sometimes, he wandered if mother would hate them less if he wasn’t so dumb and weak. _

_ “Eat and don’t bother me for the rest of the night, I have things to sort out,” she said, placing their bowls with food on the floor.  _

_ Saeran barely heard her, excited for seeing food after a long time without receiving any. Eager to eat, the small boy held the bowl in his hands, ready to dig in when Saeyoung placed his hand on his arm, signaling for him to stop. _

_ “Saeran received less food than me,” Saeyoung said, looking at their mother. _

_ The ginger woman ignored her child, continuing to go through the pile of late bills in her hands. After listening to his brother, Saeran looked down from his bowl to Saeyoung. His brother truly had received more food, still, the younger boy was so scared of mother to confront her about that.  _

_ “Saeran received less food than me.” Saeyoung repeated, louder. _

_ “So what?” she answered, without raising her head. _

_ “So give him more food.” the boy demanded, clenching his fists tight. _

_ Mother raised her head, sending her scariest stare to the children. _

_ “H-hyung, it’s f-fine” Saeran murmured, hunching with the sight of her. _

_ “Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?” mother asked. “Shut up and eat your food, Saeyoung. Be grateful to have a little more to eat and don’t complain like a spoiled brat.” _

_ Saeyoung stood up in front of his brother. _

_ “Why did you give him less food? He is hungry!” the boy asked.  _

_ “He doesn’t need to eat as much as you do.” mother answered, angrily looking at him. “You are useful to me. I need you to run the errands. Your brother, on the other hand, is a stupid moron. He’ll just stay at home getting sick. It’s a waste of money to give him as much food.” _

_ The ginger boy took one step in her direction, feeling the anger grow inside of him. _

_ “Saeran is not a waste of anything, you just can’t see how awesome my brother is. Just… Just give him more food, please! He needs it!” _

_ “Saeyoung, shut up!” she yelled, standing up. “Who said that you could talk to me like that? Listen up, you little shit” she said, pulling him up by his collar. “Your stupid little brother is just a weakling. He won’t last for long in this world and soon enough he won’t be useful for me. Giving him food is a waste of resources. Saeran is not worth anything, always giving me more and more expenses, getting sicker and sicker by the minute until he dies and then what profit will I have had? You, on the other hand, are useful because you go out for me. Tomorrow, I’ll send you to a wide array of places, so I need you to be well fed in order to not fuck everything up. So shut your stupid mouth and go eat you goddamn food.” she threw him on the ground and immediately Saeran hugged his brother. “I’ve made a mistake in my logic, yes. I don’t know where this attitude is coming from, but I’ll make sure to teach you how you’re supposed to talk to me. You can say goodbye to this extra portion. I don’t need you getting strong enough to raise your head to me.” _

_ “You can’t talk about us like that!” Saeyoung yelled, holding Saeran tight in a hug, _

_ “Yes, I can!” she yelled back. “You are my children! I’ll do whatever I want with you and you two better obey me! You have no fucking right to disagree with me, Saeyoung. Now, eat your fucking food and shut your mouth before I loose my temper and go over there to teach you and your brother to show me respect.” _

_ Saeran cried, shivering in fear of their mother. She was mean, mean, mean. Whenever mother yelled, his body tensed up, preparing itself for much worse punishments that could come. He felt lonely, empty, as if a ball of fear lodged itself in his throat. But Saeyoung was always there in moments like that.  _

_ His brother held his hand, pulling him to their tiny corner. Without saying a word, Saeyoung began to take food out of his own bowl, transferring it to Saeran until they had the same amount.  _

_ “Hyung,” Saeran called. _

_ “Don’t listen to her,” Saeyoung whispered. “Mom has no idea of what she is saying” _

_ “B-but hyung… She is right, in the end I… I do get sick a lot and… And…” his eyes filled with tears. Mother’s words were still ringing in his ears, too terrible for him to repeat. _

_ “And then you get better again.” Saeyoung completed. “Mom doesn’t know what she is saying. She is too dumb to see how awesome you are. And brave. And strong, really, really strong. Don’t listen to her, Saeran.” _

_ The younger boy took the bowl that his brother was giving him. Mom was wrong? Saeran didn’t know what to think about that. He had always been weak. If he wasn’t, he would be able to go outside like his brother. _

_ “She says all those stupid things, but she doesn’t know half of what I know about you.” Saeyoung continued. “She doesn’t know that you are much better doing math than I am, or that you love flowers and know how to describe them perfectly. She doesn’t know that you come up with the best plans for me to take insects out of the house, even if you are scared of them. She doesn’t know that you are brave, fierce, and kind. She doesn’t know that your hug is the best one in the world and that you always hug me and help me calm down when I’m sad or scared. So she has no right of saying anything about you, do you understand?” _

_ Saeran looked into his brother’s eyes, filled with tears. He couldn’t understand. He couldn’t. His brother was so strong, so powerful all the time. All those things were characteristics of Saeyoung, not himself. Saeran could not believe that he was all that, still, he was so happy to hear his brother saying those things about him. _

. . .

Saeran was annoyed. Stupid Myung Chae. Stupid, stupid.  _ She is not stupid.  _ That girl was truly getting on his nerves. She was not fun to play with.  _ You are not playing, you are tormenting her.  _ Shut up. He hated that annoying freak. Useless girl. Calling back his memories, trying to make him remember that filthy traitor.  _ She said his name.  _ Saeran hated that traitor too. And she had played low, telling him that traitor cared for him, filing his ears and mind with lies, lies, lies. Because of her, untruthful memories kept striking him. It gave him a headache to think about that, to remember anything related to that.  _ Protect her.  _ She would have to pay for messing up with him like that. Her attitudes got on his nerves. Her voice. Her eyes. Her smell. That nauseating smell that he hated so much.  _ She smells like the flowers in her room.  _ I hate stupid flowers. I hate them, hate them.  _ Hate them?  _ Yes.

He kept on walking back to his room. He would work some more before he got back to her room in order to play with his new toy. Of course that he didn’t have too, but Savior had told him to keep an eye on her. Besides, he had been the one to bring her there, no one else should get near her.  _ She is scared.  _ She would learn her place. She was nothing in there. Nothing, nothing, nothing. She was nothing but a useless bug. So stupid that he imagined how much of a waste she would represent for them.  _ Are you questioning Savior?  _ No. Ray was the idiot that questioned Savior all the time, not him. Saeran admired and adored Savior.

“Get out of my way,” he snared to a couple of believers that were cleaning the corridor.

Stupid Myung Chae. How annoying was she, trying to get inside his head with her stupid words and kind eyes.  _ Kind eyes? _ Dumb eyes. Dumb. Dumb like her and Ray.

“Mr. Saeran,” a female voice called from behind him.

“What?” he asked, turning back to face a female believer called Inhye.

“Is everything alright with Myung Chae? I heard yelling coming from her room”

“Were you eavesdropping or something?” he asked, but soon after raised his hand to make her stop. “You know what, don’t answer me. I don’t need to waste my time talking to idiots like you, much less justifying anything. Just do your job”

_ Rude.  _ Shut up. it was all Myung’s fault. She had ruined his day.  _ She is so cool.  _ She is a filthy loser.

He slammed his bedroom door, falling back on his chair. RFA’s pathetic Intelligence Unit would give him work throughout the afternoon, but at night he would go back to visiting Myung Chae, and she should prepare herself for that. He would not forgive her easily for her bad behaviour that morning.  _ We should be taking care of her.  _ She won’t be protected if she is weak. She would need to get stronger and Saeran would make sure that this would happen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	27. Guardian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> \- Beware of mentions of abuse

_ Saeran looked outside of the car window. For the first time, his destiny was neither the church nor his mother’s home. He had slept for the most part of the trip, curled up in the front seat of V’s car, under the soft blanket hyung and noona had given him.  _

_ Only a week had passed since his mother died. It was deemed as a suicide, he heard V and Rika saying. Mother had killed herself. Killed herself. Killed herself. Was it because of him? He did not know. Still, he did not believe that. The boy knew that his mother had debts. Even if their father did send a large sum of money, most part of it was wasted in her many addictions. She owed money to so many people, that it would not be impossible for one of them to have come to the house and… No. He shouldn’t be thinking about that. But what should he be thinking?  _

_ For a week he had stayed in church. Rika made him company, sleeping in a sleeping bag while he took the sofa. Meanwhile, V was busy talking to a lawyer. According to Saeyoung, a lawyer was a person who knew a lot about laws and got people arrested. Noona explained to him later on that a lawyer helped people with legal issues of many sorts, which did not make any sense to him, but he knew that he was not bright enough to understand some things. V wanted the lawyer’s help to adopt him and his brother without their father finding out, the boy imagined. That morning, hyung had arrived at church smiling, telling him that they would take him home. It was the best news the boy could have heard. He was so happy, happy, happy. _

_ He did not have any belongings. After the investigations stopped, V-hyung went to Saeran’s old home to fetch some of his few belongings that were hidden in the crawl space underneath the house and could be accessed easily by lifting a loose floorboard in the corner where the boy slept. The photo that V had given him, the rubber ball that Saeyoung had found on the trash when they were little and the only book the boy’s owned, that was given to Saeyoung by the priest. That was it. _

_ “I know that you miss noona, but she’ll be back tomorrow, alright?” V said, glancing at the boy. “It’s just a work trip, but it was just a shame that they scheduled it for today. She wanted to be here to welcome you.” _

_ “It’s okay,” he said in his typically low voice.  _

_ As they got closer to the house, Saeran felt his heart beat faster in fear and excitement. Part of him feared to be in noona and hyung’s home. They could be just like mother when he was in there. Still, other parts of him deeply wished for them to be as kind as they were in church, giving him so much love, care and hope. He loved, loved, loved hyung and noona so much.  _

_ It was the biggest house he had seen in his life. He even wondered if more people lived there and hyung and noona just occupied one of the floors. Nevertheless, it was beautiful. They had a huge garden, so big that V hyung drove through it for some minutes before reaching the garage and turning off the car. _

_ “Let me take your bag.” V said, referring to the backpack with the three pieces of clothing that were still usable and the few belongings that he had rescued from the abandoned home. “This is your home now, okay? You’re free to go anywhere you want in here.” _

_ Saeran nodded, feeling his stomach swirl. He was scared, happy, excited, terrified.  _

_ When the door opened to the living room, he was left open-mouthed, taking a few seconds to absorb the size of the space that surrounded him. At least six of his house could fit in that area composed by the sofas, TV and fireplace, annexed to a beautiful kitchen and a table much bigger than the old one in his home. Scared of staining the impeccably clean floor, he was cautious upon entering, taking a few steps towards an armchair and touching the soft fabric. Afterwards, he walked towards the side of the fireplace, in the corner of the room. _

_ “Can I sleep in this corner over here?” he asked. “It must be really warm because of the fireplace.” _

_ V smiled at the kid, walking up to him. Saeran’s simplicity could be as heartbreaking as it was lovely. The boy had never known anything that wasn’t the one-room house he had grown in. _

_ “Don’t you want to take a look in your bedroom first?” V asked. _

_ “I… I have a bedroom?” the boy asked, allowing a shy smile to form on his lips. “I do. I-I want to see it” _

_ V took his hand, leading him to a set of stairs that took them to the second floor of the house. Everything was much bigger than Saeran could ever imagine a house to be. Definitely more than six of his old house could fit inside hyung’s home.  _

_ “This is my bedroom,” hyung said as they walked past a white door. “You can call us at any time, okay? Come to us and we’ll help you with anything.” _

_ The boy nodded as they proceeded to a door with the word “Searan” painted in front of it, decorated with drawings of small flowers.  _

_ “This is yours,” hyung said, letting go of his hand. “Go ahead, open it” _

_ Saeran turned the doorknob and got in, stopping in the doorframe in astonishment. The bedroom was big. In one side there was a wardrobe, bigger than the one mother used to lock him into. A desk occupied its place underneath the window, with a computer sat at it’s top. In the other corner, there was a double bed. Saeran immediately went towards it. He had never had a bed before. He had never had a mattress before. Slowly, as if it could vanish at the blink of an eye, he reached towards it, allowing his hand to touch the blue bedsheet. He sat down, allowing himself to sink on the bed. Soon, the tears began to fall down his cheeks.  _

_ “Saeran,” hyung called, sitting next to him in bed and embracing the boy in his arms. _

_ It was a bed. Saeran had a bed. The emotion that overcame him was too strong for him to hide, hugging hyung back as he cried, cried, cried. _

_ “Thank you. Thank you.” he murmured. _

_ V kissed the boy’s head. “There is nothing for you to thank me. We are really happy that you are here with us.” he gently stroked the boy’s hair, pushing it away from his face. “Hey, did you see who’s here too?” _

_ He leaned back on the bed, picking up one of the many stuffed animals and placing it on Saeran’s hand. It was a pink stuffed octopus with a smiley face. Saeran smiled, wiping the tears falling down his cheeks. V had given it to him a little after they began picking him up at his mother’s home, two years before. It had happened in one of the rare days when Saeran got to take a walk with him in the neighbourhood surrounding the cathedral. They had walked past a toy store and Saeran had become marveled by the stuffed octopus. He knew that at fourteen years old he was too old to play with that and mother would destroy it if he ever appeared with it in the house, but he was in love with the stuffed toy. Hyung had noticed and, taking him by the hand, led him inside. _

_ Soon after, Saeran left the store smiling, hugging the stuffed animal and, in one of his hands, carrying another one that he had picked up for Saeyoung when he got back. It was a red octopus, with small glasses, perfect for his older brother. That day, hyung promised to take care of both of the toys while the boy was at his mother’s home. _

_ “You kept him,” Saeran smiled, stroking one of the toy’s tentacles. _

_ “Not only him, but Saeyoung’s too,” V smiled, giving the boy the other one. _

_ “Where is Saeyoung going to sleep when he comes back?” Saeran asked. “His name is not on the door…” _

_ “See that door over there, the one in between the wardrobes?” V pointed. “It leads to another room. We didn’t prepare it yet because it will take a while for him to come… But when he does, we’ll furniture it up and you’ll be really close to each other. Sounds good?” _

_ The boy nodded, hugging the two stuffed toys once more.  _

_ “Are you hungry?” V asked. “Why don’t we go eat and then I show you around the house?” _

_ The boy nodded, following hyung to the kitchen, without letting go of his pink octopus.  _

_ “What do you think of fried chicken?” V asked, opening the fridge and placing the ingredients over the counter. “We can make some rice too… Oh, we have kimchi, that’s great. And vegetables, of course.” he closed the fridge door, looking at the boy. “Do you want to help?” _

_ Saeran nodded, putting on the apron V had given him. The boy enjoyed cooking, that was something that he learned with noona. She had always allowed him to help in the soup kitchen, which was one of his favorite things in church. With much patience, hyung explained to him each step of the recipe, allowing him to bread each one of the wings and thighs.  _

_ Soon, the rice was cooked and each of their plates was ready. V set the table, placing chopsticks by the side of each plate. They held hands and made a small prayer, in which Saeran asked for God to protect his brother, as he always did, and bring him back home soon. _

_ “Chal-mok-ke-seum-ni-da” V said before they ate. _

_ V had barely taken the first bite when he saw Saeran ignoring the chopsticks and eating with his own hands. The older man stopped, watching the boy until the realization dawned on him. Saeran did not know how to use chopsticks. In two years, he had only seen the boy using a spoon to eat. Never a fork, never a knife, much less the chopsticks. At first, he thought that it was a matter of preference, but at that moment everything was clear. Knowing how their mother was, it was not unusual to imagine that she would not teach her children to use cutlery. _

_ “Is it good?” V asked, putting his chopsticks aside and picking up the chicken with his hands. _

_ “Yes, it’s really good, hyung! Thank you.” Saeran answered. “Can I eat this?” he asked, pointing to the kimchi jar. _

_ “Of course you can. Have you ever tried it?” he asked, seeing the boy shake his head. “Well, it’s spicy, so you can’t pick it up with your hands. It’s not dangerous, but I don’t want you rubbing your hand in your eyes and then getting hurt. I’ll get a spoon for you, okay?” _

_ “Alright. Thank you, hyung.” Saeran answered. _

_ “Saeran, do you want to learn how to use chopsticks?” V asked, placing the spoon at the boy’s side and sitting back down. _

_ The boy nodded. He wanted to, he really did.  _

_ “Mom didn’t let us take the cutlery at home. We had a spoon because sometimes I got really sick and… And hyung helped me.” _

_ “It’s fine,” V smiled. “I’ll teach you” _

_ After eating, V washed the dishes while Saeran dried them up. As they did so, they listened to one of V’s old vinyls. Saeran loved music a lot. _

_ During the afternoon, the boy did not leave V’s side, but the older man did not mind. From when he was developing some of his photos to when they were watching TV and dining pizza, Saeran was with him, and he adored the boy’s company. Saeran did not talk much, but even in silence he made himself present in the room. It was almost as if his strong energy occupied every space, every gap in the shelves. Eager to learn, the boy listened carefully, all of his attention focused on one point until all the information was absorbed. V was always marbled by how Saeran managed to keep his enchantment and curiosity regarding the world around him. _

_ At bedtime, Saeran discovered that people wear something called pijamas, a type of clothes that are used only to sleep. He could not completely understand it, but the pajamas hyung and noona bought him were covered in illustrations of puppies and were made of a soft cloth, so he liked them a lot.  _

_ “I have never slept alone,” Saeran murmured, sitting in bed while holding the pink octopus on his lap while the red one was by his side.  _

_ “There is nothing to be scared of,” V said, brushing his hair with his fingers. “My bedroom is right next to yours. You can call me if you have trouble sleeping.” he walked towards the night light. “This is your nightlight, okay? I’ll leave it on for as long as you need it.” _

_ “It’s pretty,” he said, the shy smile back on his lips. “I like that it has stars in it.” _

_ “I’m happy that you do,” V smiled back. “Good night, my child” _

_ “Good night, hyung” _

_ As he left the boy’s room, V felt relieved that Saeran seemed to be adapting well. They had worried about the change in the boy’s environment, especially about how he would deal with the loss of his abusive mother, but in that moment he seemed to be absorbing well everything that had happened in the span of a week.  _

_ V was reading in bed when he heard the boy scream. With one jump he ran out of the bedroom, opening the boy’s door to see him kicking and crying in his sleep. _

_ “No, mom. Please. Please, don’t.” he cried. “Let me go, please.” _

_ “Saeran,” V called, sitting in the bed near him. “Saeran, wake up.” _

_ “No. No, let me go. I won’t do it again. I won’t. I won’t.” _

_ He hugged the boy, stroking his hair until he woke up and stopped crying. For a while, the boy continued to shiver, his head resting in V’s lap. Saeran sobbed, clenching the blanket as if trying to pull himself away from his nightmares. Until he fell asleep, hyung continued by his side, drawing circles on his hair. Saeran loved when people drew circles on his hair. _

_ Quietly, V left, walking back to his own bedroom and preparing himself to sleep. Not much more than one hour passed before the boy began screaming once more, prompting V to run to his aid. Once more, hyung sat on the bed with Saeran, cooing and humming a song in order to put him back to sleep. _

_ “Sorry,” Saeran murmured.  _

_ “For what? There is nothing for you to be sorry about” _

_ “I keep disturbing you,” Saeran said. “Mom was right. I’m a nuisance to everyone I know” _

_ “Saeran,” V called, continuing to brush the boy’s hair with his fingers. “You’ll never be a nuisance to me. When people care about you, they come to your aid because they want to see you happy. It’s not an obligation. Your brother has never thought of you as a nuisance. Not even once. You know that, don’t you?” _

_ “He used to get mad when I called myself that.” the boy said, without answering hyung’s question. _

_ “Because he loves you so much.” V continued. “And me and noona love you too. For the three of us, you’ll never be a nuisance, do you hear me? Never.” he gave the boy a kiss on the head “You are a good and precious child. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you again.” _

_ “Promise?” Saeran asked, looking at V for the first time in the conversation. _

_ “Promise. I’m never leaving you. I’ll always be by your side” V smiled, his eyes always gleaming with kindness. “Now, go to sleep. Noona will arrive in the morning.”  _

_ V watched Saeran close his eyes, a few tears finding their way down his cheeks. The older man stroked the child’s hair, wishing to find a way to make all his fears leave. He saw the fading dark spots on the boy’s arms, remembering the last day when he had picked him up at his mother’s home. The child had cried because of the pain from the fresh bruises as Rika took care of each one of them in his arms and legs. Now, no one would ever abuse him again. V pulled him closer, allowing him to get comfortable, soothing the boy in the best way that he could. _

_ “You can sleep,” V whispered. “I’m not going anywhere” _

_. . . _

Saeran threw the cellphone on the floor, stepping over it to finish breaking each piece that had been left intact. He looked at the believer that had brought V’s belongings to him.

“Are you sure that he was not hiding anything else?”

“Yes,” the believer answered. “I will take the key card to the intelligence team. His car has been brought inside and the key will be given to security.”

“Make sure that the car is not being tracked too.” Saeran said, looking back at V. “We don’t need anyone making a surprise visit to us. Leave now.”

“Saeran…” V called, getting closer to the bars that locked the cell where he was. 

“You were sending a signal with this, weren’t you?” Saeran asked. “You were sending your location to  _ him _ , weren’t you?”

He was annoyed. It was not his desire to deal with V, but Savior had told him to do so. Perhaps it was a test, a provation that he needed to surpass.  _ He abandoned us.  _ That liar, liar, liar. Saeran hated liars. All his life he had been surrounded by them.  _ He manipulated us.  _ And V. Horrible V. 

“You are all pathetic,” Saeran laughed. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice? I’ve been watching this little messenger of yours, all day, all night. So stupid!”

“Saeran, please…” V called once more.

“Shut up!” the boy yelled. “Shut this lying mouth of yours or I’ll shut it myself. Why are you here? Why won’t you allow us to be happy?”

V came closer, holding the bars of the cell. 

“Please, my child… She is manipulating you, Saeran. She is using you!”

“Using me?” Saeran let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back. “Like you did? I’m not stupid to fall for your lies anymore.”

“I’m not lying, Saeran… Rika is the one lying to you! I’m here to save you!”

“Shut up!” Saeran yelled. “Shut up. She told me not to listen to you, of course you would lie. Of course. Or course.”

“My child…”

“Don’t!” Saeran yelled, slamming his hand against the bars. “Don’t call me that! Don’t fucking call me that. I hate you. You are nothing more than a liar. That’s what you are! So don’t you call me that! I want nothing to do with you, V. Nothing. All I want to know is why do you always have to ruin everything! Why can’t you allow us to be happy.”

“Those are not your words. It’s Rika talking through you…” tears began falling from V’s mint eyes. “Saeran, please… Listen to me. Myung has nothing to do with this madness, just like you.Take her and leave. Let me and Rika destroy each other in his fight, but not you. Please, my sweet, sweet boy…”

V motioned his hand to touch Saeran’s face, but as his thumb brushed the boy’s cheek, his hand was pushed back.

“What do you think you are doing? You’re lucky that Savior told me not to do anything against you yet. You have no idea of everything I wish to do, all the ideas in my mind.”  _ Why did he leave us?  _ “You wanted to know about the girl, right? Then let’s make a deal.” Saeran picked up one flask of the elixir, handing it to V “Let’s play this little game. You drink this and then I tell you about MC and how she is after I played with her.”

“Saeran…”

“Can’t you say anything else?” he asked. “Is the problem in your eyes going to your brain?” Saeran got closer to the cell, pushing the flask into V’s hands. “Drink this, now.”

V looked down to the flask. It was all his fault. He should be the only one to pay for what he had done. He pulled up the cork and allowed the mint green fluid to go inside his lips. The bitter taste was immediate. In a few seconds V lost the strength in his legs, falling to the ground.

“Savior told us to give you nothing, not even water. You must be so thirsty…” he chuckled, watching V struggle to drink it all. “You finished, good. Good” he laughed. “I feel great right now! In a few hours you’ll be begging us for mercy. All of this you deserve, liar.” he crouched next to V “Now all the secrets you tried to hide will be exposed. You tried so hard to hide this place in fear of that stupid redhead learning about me, didn’t you? Don’t worry,Ii’ll get rid of him later”

“It doesn’t matter what you’ll do” V coughed. “Your wounds still won’t be cured, Saeran…”

“Shut up!” Saeran yelled, wrapping his hands around V’s neck. “Shut up! Stop telling me what to do! Stop it!”

_ He is fainting.  _ Saeran’s head began to hurt, hurt, hurt. Like a blur he could not see anything.  _ Stop.  _ He let go of V’s neck, falling back.  _ He is alive. _ Why had he stopped? He hated, hated, hated V.  _ Hyung?  _ No. No. Not that new voice. Not the memories, the filthy, stupid, stinking memories. It was that girl’s fault. They had begun to appear because of her.  _ He abandoned us.  _ He did.

V raised his eyes, looking at Saeran in pain.  _ He is alive.  _ Without another word, Saeran ran out of the basement. V had drunk the elixir. His job was done.

. . .

_ Saeran was crying. He did not know where he was. Every night - was it night? - the hooded men came, telling him horrendous things about his brother and hyung, forcing him to drink that bitter substance and beating him harder and harder every time. He curled up on the floor, the chains attached to his leg rattling on the floor, pulling him back to mother’s home, where the rope was always making his ankle bleed. For how long had he been there? Hours? Days? Weeks? He did not know. But the water and food deprivation was enough for him to see his mother more frequently, the memories hurting him as if she was there, hurting him with the slurs and bottles of hers. _

_ At the first sound, he curled up more on the floor. They were back, back, back. How had he gotten there? He couldn’t remember. Couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t remember.  _

_ “You have always been so tender… So kind.” the familiar voice said. “So was I when I was a child.” _

_ The boy raised his eyes, seeing Rika-noona entering the cell accompanied by the three familiar hooded figures. He couldn’t understand. Had those people taken her too? _

_ “Noona?” he asked, trying to reach her, but his frail body was too weakened and he fell back onto the floor. “Noona! Let’s leave. Please, c-come with me.” _

_ “When I was like you, I used to think that everything was my fault.” she said, ignoring the boy’s plea. “Haven’t we been victims of agony for too long, my child? Now, it’s time for us to embrace this agony as part of ourselves.” _

_ He looked at her, the strange robes she was wearing, so similar to the ones of his torturers.  _

_ “Noona?” _

_ “We were begotten from darkness, child. Embrace it and all the pain will go away!” she smiled, but it felt wrong. Her smile was sinister almost like his mother’s smile. “You must be a devil to survive in the outside world. So unleash this devil inside of you. You are crooked, begotten from darkness.” _

_ “Noona, you are scaring me…” he cried, backing away. _

_ “Just a bit more and you’ll be fine” she said, turning back to the men that accompanied her. “What are you waiting for? Continue the cleansing.” _

_ Having received the orders, two men grabbed Saeran by his arms, pulling him up and forcing the boy to stand on his knees. The other pulled his head up by his hair, forcing a bottle of elixir into his mouth and waiting for the liquid to go down his throat.  _

_ The boy coughed, droplets of the mint-green substance falling down in his shirt, dripping from his chin. His lungs were burning and breathing was unbearable once more. He had already vomited that morning, the sensation of sickness in his stomach only seemed to grow at each second he spent in that place. _

_ “Once you get used to your hatred, you’ll be happy. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through trying to control it. Poor child of mine…” _

_ “Let me go!” he cried. “Hyung! Hyung!” _

_ “He abandoned you, Saeran” she said, placing her hand under his chin and seeing his lost eyes, misty because of the elixir. “He said that he hated you.” _

_ “He didn't,” the boy cried.  _

_ “They have been telling this to you. Accept it as the truth, my child. V abandoned you. He never loved you. Never.” _

_ Another bottle was forced in his mouth. Saeran spit half of the content out, prompting him to receive a punch in the stomach. He coughed, crying in pain, pain, pain. _

_ “Saeyoung…” he whimpered. “Saeyoung, please…” _

_ He saw his brother right in front of him, confronting mother like he always did, getting in trouble to protect Saeran. Hyung had always been so kind, so kind to a bug like him. But soon it was gone. Hyung was kind. He wasn’t sure. His mind was getting blank, his memories emptied. He couldn’t remember if hyung was ever kind. _

_ “Saeyoung abandoned you. He left you all alone as bait for your mother to play with. And there lied vengeance towards him in your heart.” _

_ “No. I don’t… I don’t hate him. I can’t hate him” the boy sobbed. _

_ “The essence of vengeance is starting to bloom. Show it to me, Saeran!” she insisted. _

_ “I can’t hate my own brother!” he yelled. _

_ “Continue the cleansing.” _

_ Another bottle was forced down his throat. His limbs were numb, his mind felt like nothing. Saeran felt away from his body, whimpering in pain for the boy that was no longer himself.  _

_ “He left you. V left us. You mother… Never loved you in the first place.” _

_ “I would rather be gone” he whimpered. _

_ “You are just a victim, used by all of those terrible people.” _

_ “I would rather be gone” he murmured, feeling his conscience slip away. _

_ “We are not that different. We were fools left behind” she smiled proudly. “But not anymore. Now we are born again” _

_ “I would rather make them all gone!” Saeran said in between his teeth, the rage burning inside of him. “I’ll make them all gone. Nothing and nobody will ever hurt me again” _

_ Rika smiled, softly touching the boy’s face. _

_ “Now you are cleansed, my child. Forget the past. It doesn’t matter. Now you are the real Saeran. Strong Saeran. You are not pathetic anymore. The weak one is Ray.” _

_ “Ray…” he murmured. “Stupid Ray…” _

_ “Oh, my child. I am so happy to have you here. There is much work ahead of us.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I've already said this, but I absolutely adore V's relationship with the twins. In fact, I wished to read more fanfics about it, because that is so so so soooooooo lovely. 
> 
> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	28. The Point of No Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even believe this, but there are NO warnings in this chapter!!!!

Saeran walked down the hallway. Stupid girl. Stupid, stupid. He was having fun, but she and the memories she had brought to him had ruined everything.  _ Hyung is downstairs.  _ Who said that?  _ Who said that? _ Stupid Ray, playing tricks on him.  _ It wasn’t me.  _ He couldn’t get back on that useless bug, but he could have fun with Myung Chae.  _ Don’t hurt her.  _ Savior had ridden him from those nauseating memories, but the girl was bringing them back. All the lies that his old self had heard, all of them. Nasty lies.  _ She didn’t. _ Saeran had never thought about the past before she arrived with her  _ sweet _ smile, her  _ kind  _ eyes, her nauseating personality. Stupid Myung Chae.  _ She is not stupid.  _ Ray was under control before she got there. Saeran hated Myung Chae. He had had to work for the rest of the day, but it did not matter if it was already late. He needed to have at least some fun.  _ My head hurts.  _ Pain is for weaklings.

He opened the door without knocking, staring at her pathetic figure sitting in bed. MC was wearing the believer robe she had received upon arriving, her long hair falling loose over her shoulders as she turned to face him.

“Why are you wearing that?” he asked, going in her direction. “That’s not for bugs like you”

“Well, it’s cold and your buddies decided to kidnap me in the middle of the street, on a sunny day, when I was wearing a dress and a hoodie.” MC answered, putting her phone aside. “Are you here to talk?”

“You keep saying those stupid things” he laughed. “So stupid, Myung Chae. What? Are you angry at me? Only that weakling was good enough for you, wasn’t he? He’ll be sad if you deny him now”

“What do you want, Saeran?” she asked.

“I want you to entertain me!” he yelled, standing right next to her. “You are so annoying! Everything, everything, everything about you is simply disgusting. Those eyes, that stupid smile you have on every day. Pathetic. Just do something. You know that I can get rid of you after I send you to the basement, don’t you? You are only a little toy left in a room, Myung Chae.”

MC kept in silence, staring straight into the screaming boy. She would not allow him to get what he wanted. Saeran would not see her cry.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” he asked, grabbing her arm in an attempt to pull her out of bed. MC struggled, pulling herself back. “Do something! Crap, just do anything! Why are you ignoring me?” he yelled.

With all her strength, MC pushed him back against the wall in the side of her bed. Saeran moaned in pain, falling to the ground with the impact.

“M-my head…” he whimpered, his voice a little different than before. All the sharpness was gone, reaching a softer tone.

“Saeran?” MC called, standing up but keeping herself away. She did not mean to hurt him.

“No!” he yelled. “Don’t say this name! Don’t… Don’t come closer…”

She kneeled, keeping herself a meter apart from him. 

“R-Ray?” she called.

“Where… Where… No. No, please. Stop!” he yelled, pulling his own hair and lowering his head more and more. “I’ll stay silent like a grave. I swear. Please, please.”

MC got closer, recognizing Saeran - Ray? - in a delusional state. Her eyes filled with tears as sorrow took place in her heart. Slowly, she touched his arm, seeing him flinch, pulling himself away.

“R-Ray, it’s me. It’s Myung.” she said, carefully touching his hair and, later on, pulling him closer to her. “I’m here. See? I’m here”

“Myung… Myung” he hugged her, sobbing in her embrace. “My head…. My head hurts so much.” he pulled himself apart, still allowing her to keep her hand in his hair.  _ He loved when people played with his hair. _ “What have I done to you? No, no!” he sobbed, pulling his hair once more “How could I do that to you? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Don’t forgive me. Never, never, never forgive me for that. I don’t deserve it.” he pulled himself away, getting closer and closer to the wall. “Myung… What should I do now? I hurt you. I made you cry and shiver in pain. I made you starve…” he looked up to her, coming closer to place his hands in her cheeks. “A-are you hurt now? Are you alright? I’m so sorry, noona. I’m sorry, noona”

“I need to understand what is going on.” she said, placing her hand above his. “Please. Who are you, Ray?”

“Ugh, my head” he cried, covering his head with his hands once more. “It hurts. He’ll be back soon” he looked back to MC, allowing his arms to fall by his side. “Ray was never supposed to last. He was the denial of my weaknesses, everything that I came to believe that was unworthy in me… I’m so weak. I have always been so weak.”

“No. No, you’re not” MC said, cupping his cheeks. “You are not weak. You’re the kindest person I ever met. Please…” Myung cried.

“Saeran is my real name” he continued, as if her words did not reach him. “Ray was never real. He was never real.” the boy said, taking her hands in his. “I’m… Saeran. And that devilish side is part of me as well.” Saeran looked straight at her. “Noona, both Ray and Saeran are so scared. I am scared. They are afraid. The only time they aren’t afraid is when they are near yo-”

He threw himself back, clenching his hair once more and yelling. 

“Stay back. Stay back!” he said. “He is coming, he is coming”

With that, he ran outside, leaving Myung Chae alone in the dark.

. . .

Since a young age, Saeyoung had loved the sky. He remembered the first time that he got to see it in person.  _ He was eight years old, coming back home after going out to buy a pack of cigarettes for his mother. At home, they were never allowed to open the curtains, mother had teached them the horrific consequences if they did, but he was alone in the outside world. Mother could not punish him when he was alone. He had barely reached the front yard when he saw them, shining over the dark cloth that covered the sky when the sun went away. In silence, the boy smiled at the sight of the moon. The following day, he sneaked his brother outside for the first time, to show him the discovery he had made. _

At twenty years old, Saeyoung continued to love the sky. The gleaming lights had always been his company, carrying the promise of better days in every wish he had made for the stars. He was sure that he had already covered some galaxy’s with his wishes. Whenever Saeran was sick and hurt, he would wish for them to take care of him. They were friends that would follow him wherever he was.

Taking a sip of his Phd. Pepper, he sat on the grass. Saeyoung had always hated the silence. It was the sound of nothing, the absence of movement, everything that was left after mother went to sleep in the bad nights. Silence gave space for his mind to make noise, and he hated that noise. His own thoughts scared him more than all the missions he had to face in his life, because in them he had Vanderwood, against his thoughts, he was alone. 

“Please, just let me find him” he wished, raising his head to the shinier of them all. “Let me have my brother back”

Stars did not answer, so once more he was left with silence as his company. And it was the same silence that, as a loving mother, put him to sleep.

. . .

Saeran: What have you done to me?

Saeran: What have you done?

Saeran: That airhead will never come back!

Saeran: That loser will never come back!

Saeran: That weakling will never come back!

MC: Saeran… Listen to me

Saeran: This body will never last without me!

Saeran: That good-for-nothing almost died so many times

Saeran: That coward

Saeran: I’m not like him!

MC: Saeran, please, stay calm

MC: You’ll be alright, you are just scared

MC: I understand it now

Saeran: Do I look scared to you?

Saeran: You are so pathetic, Myung Chae

Saeran: Nothing scares me!!

Saeran: Nothing!

Saeran: My rage is my shield.

Saeran: Without it, I can’t survive 

Saeran: So you should be the one scared

Saeran: You!

Saeran: I am the real one!

Saeran: I am the right one!

Saeran: I am the right one!

Saeran: I am the right one

Saeran: TO STAY!

MC: You are just trying to survive

MC: I get it, Saeran

MC: I really do

MC: But there are other ways

MC: You are not alone

Saeran: Are you

Saeran: pitying me?

Saeran: Hahahaha

Saeran: I don’t like this

Saeran: Myung Chae

Saeran: I don’t like you

Saeran: You think that you are so great

Saeran: So smart

Searan: Somehow you woke up that bug

Saeran: You talked to him

Saeran: BUT YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A USELESS TOY

Saeran: Did you think that I was joking before?

Saeran: Do you think I won’t get rid of you?

MC: I’m not the reason why you are suffering

MC: All you are doing is tormenting yourself

MC: And I’m here to help

MC: Saeran, please

MC: Just take my hand, let’s leave

MC: You need help

Saeran: Shut up!

Saeran: Shut up!

Saeran: Shut up!

Saeran: Don’t you dare giving me this stupid idea

Saeran: I’ll tell Savior what you’ve done

Saeran: You’re dead

Saeran: The end

Saeran: You’ll get lost from this world forever

Saeran: with your pathetic knight

Saeran: Goodbye, princess.

. . .

“Good morning, Saeyoung. May I talk to you for just one second?” Jumin’s voice came from from the other side of the line.

The hacker was tired, his nights were being composed of practically no sleep and much more sodas and work. Coffee was now an essential part of his routine. While he grabbed a mug filled with the drink, Vanderwood placed a sandwich near him over the counter. “Eat”, he mouthed, heading towards his computer.

“Sure, Jumin. What’s up?” Saeyoung answered. “I’m sorry about that report about the data. We were a little busy here trying to figure a way to enter the Mint Eye, but I’ll take a look on what you sent me and tell you what I think. Actually, I think that Vanderwood is-”

“I’m sorry for interrupting, but that is not the matter that I wish to discuss. May we talk in private?”

Saeyoung stopped. Jumin had never been the type that called him, much less that wished to talk to him in private. With a sigh, he agreed, heading outside. 

He sat on the grass, balancing his sandwich on his left thigh.

“I’m alone now. What is it? Is everything okay with the RFA?” Saeyoung asked.

“Yes, everyone is safe. Yoosung and Zen are still going to school and working, assistant Kang told me. Zen has assured her that everyday he is the one to leave Yoosung at school and pick him up later on. You do not need to worry about that.” Jumin took a deep breath on the other side of the line. “It’s yet another matter that I wish to discuss. I imagine that, by now, you have already seen the video that Yoosung has uncovered.”

Saeyoung took a deep breath. He not only did but had spent the last day dissecting each part, turning it from upside down in order to gather information, but the person that recorded it could not provide him with any other information than the certainty that Rika had created a criminal cult. He shivered just thinking about that, seeing once more the image of V in the garden.

“Yes, I did,” he answered.

There was silence on the other side. The boy did not know what else to say, much less what Jumin expected from him.

“I am glad that you did, it saves us time,” Jumin said, making Saeyoung chuckle. “What I said amuses you?”

“Sorry.” Saeyoung said. “It’s just… Your way of seeing things is funny sometimes, that’s all. Please, carry on.”

“Well… I imagine that watching Rika say those terrible words was not easy for you, seeing how close you were to her, so I considered giving you some comforting words. I am aware that I am not the most emotional of our members, but I mean what I am about to say. Perhaps parts of it I shouldn’t even tell, but I believe that when everything comes to an end you should have every piece of information in order to make a clear judgement of the situation.” Jumin made a pause, but Saeyoung had no intention of rushing him. There was something serious in the air whenever Jumin spoke like that, something that not even Saeyoung wished to break. “You see… I do not fully comprehend what happened and I do not wish in any way to influence your thoughts to either side. But I believe that truth must be told. I’ve known for a long time about your relationship with V, as you are aware of. Of course, he did not tell me the details, he just said that he and Rika were taking care of a boy they had met in church. The first time he told me was on the day you met him. We had dinner together and he mentioned this boy that Rika had been taking care of in church and how he was terribly worried to have scared the child or made him uncomfortable in any way” 

“That sounds just like him,” Saeyoung chuckled.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Jumin chuckled too. “I believe that when he discovered the seriousness of your situation he refrained talking about you, but I would occasionally ask and he’d always sound proud, even if mentioning the slightest details about you. I do not know how much he saw of your academic development, but he has always been proud of you.”

“Jumin… Are you calling to change my opinion over V?” Saeyoung asked. “I’m really angry at him, you know. And I don’t want to be rude, but this is really not your business”

“Absolutely not.” the older man answered. “I am just doing something called ‘preparing you to receive shocking news’, it’s a concept that Ms. Kang explained to me and I have found puzzling, but it seems that people accept revelations better when you prepare them first”

The red head rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of the nose. Jumin’s inability to deal with other human beings would shock him every time. Still, Saeyoung had great respect towards the older man, even if it did not avoid him joking with Jumin in the messenger from time to time. 

“Jumin, just say what you needed to say. I’m cool”

“Very well. I found out about your brother four years ago”

Saeyoung’s mind went blank. Even if he had heard Jumin’s words, his brain did not seem able to process that information. How had Jumin met Saeran? Had V told him? Above all, why hadn’t Jumin told him before?

“Saeyoung, are you there?” Jumin asked.

“How?” Saeyoung asked. “How did you- Did V tell you? Did he tell you everything and you were just pretending not to know?”

He was furious. The feeling of betrayal kept lingering, stronger than ever. He had always known that his life was filled with secrets, but it did not mean that he enjoyed them, and much less that he wished to have information kept from him when it regarded his brother.

“Please, calm down. V was not responsible for telling me anything. I discovered Saeran by accident, when I decided to make a surprise visit to V and bring him a bottle of wine. It was a truly fragrant bottle, I remember. It had been imported from switzerland, from a winery that-”

“Jumin… focus” Saeyoung voiced.

“Pardon me, I digressed.” Jumin took a deep breath. “Anyways, I decided to make this surprise visit and I saw your brother walking around the garden. I clearly remember seeing him as soon as I got out of my car and his response was running inside deeply terrified of me. After that, Jihyun and Rika had no other choice but telling me that they had rescued Saeran from your mother and that his brother - in this case, you - was studying abroad, but that they were taking care of the two of you. That was all the information I had. V asked me for maximum secrecy because of some complications in the adoption process and I agreed. After I saw how discreet you were, I assumed that it would be best for me to keep the promise I made to V and never mention him to anyone, even to you. I didn’t wish to make you uncomfortable. But now, seeing how distraught you are with this entire situation, I began to wonder what words of comfort I could provide you, and I believe that the greatest comfort in times of uncertainty is answers. I do not know what happened to Rika and why she decided to follow such radicalized ideals, but I did meet with your brother a handful of times and what I saw was a healthy and happy young man. The care that V and Rika gave him could be seen and felt whenever I was in their presence. I know that it is not much and it took me much longer than I wish to finally tell you what I desired, but I was aware that you had many doubts about the care your brother received from my friends. I hope that this information helps you to settle your heart before we can find him.”

“I don’t know what to think about it,” Saeyoung answered. “I’m sorry Jumin, I just… I feel that I keep receiving those loose informations and I simply don’t know what to think about it.” 

“Take your time. Soon we’ll be able to rescue MC, Saeran and V. I’m sure that you’ll receive all the answers then. I must leave now, assistant kang has been knocking on my door for the past minutes and I believe that she will have a collapse if I do not open it soon. I’m sorry about this situation, I have never thought that things could become like this. I’m hanging up now”

Saeyoung drew his head back, leaning it against the wall. He felt hollow, as if a dark hole was digging it’s way into his chest. Truth and lie were concepts completely unclear to him, secrets dangling from threads on his head and creating an unsolvable maze, with shifting walls and teleporting gaps. He was lost, set to lonely wander the confusion that was his life.

“Kid, are you alright?” Vanderwood asked, standing still in the doorframe. Saeyoung did not know for how long he had been standing there.

“No” Saeyoung answered, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m not alright.”

“I know that I’m not the best person to give you advice…” Vanderwood said. “But can I tell you something?

“Everyone else is. What are you going to say now? Did you meet my dad before I was born? Are you my secret uncle by any chance?”

Vanderwood laughed, sitting on the floor near Saeyoung.

“First of all, when you were born I was like seven or whatever, I can assure you that I was not getting to meet psychopath politicians at that point in life” he playfully pushed Saeyoung’s head down, laughing. “Look, a lot of shit is going on right now, you are finding out many things and everyone will try to reach out for you in order to give you advice or try to say something nice because those guys care about you. It’s not very hard to see, I mean… I noticed it and I’m a mess regarding human interaction. For now, let’s focus on the things that matter, okay? We have MC, Saeran and V to rescue. After we are done, you can kill V as much as you’d like.”

Saeyoung chuckled.

“I’m serious, come. You said that you want to invade until tomorrow night, we need to get ready”

. . .

After the chat with Saeran, MC was left alone for what felt like hours. The corridor was silent, the chattering of the believers guarding her door became inaudible, something that made more sense when she checked the door and noticed that it was locked. Myung had no clue of what Saeran had told “savior”, but Rika was planning something. That sudden movement did not seem correct. Still, the girl did not know what was coming for her. 

She sighed, falling in bed as the pain in her stomach grew. She had never remained so long without food, her body demanded something to eat. Quietly, she turned in bed, facing the door. She did not know if it was a dream or simply her hopes, but she could almost see Saeyoung bursting through the door, taking her, Saeran and V away from that living nightmare. She wished to wake up in her lousy one bedroom apartment, living her old life where cults only existed on TV series. She hoped to be embraced by Saeyoung once more, listening to him saying that everything would be fine. 

The girl played with her star necklace, turning the small pendant in her hand as she turned to look at the ceiling. MC was utterly scared, in the end. And to know that her death would probably come through the hands of her friend made her heart shatter. Saeran Choi. She was supposed to save him, but she failed miserably doing so. What would she tell Saeyoung if they ever met again?

Suddenly, the door was opened and before Myung could stand up, two believers grabbed her by her arms, dragging her out of bed. She tried to fight, struggling and pulling her arms away, but their response was to give her a punch in the stomach, pulling her head up by her hair while she began to cry.

“Shut up if you don’t want something worse to happen to you” the believer said, forcing her to kneel on the floor.

Myung shivered, terrified of even thinking what was about to happen to her. Her stomach twirled, giving her the sensation of throwing up, but she refrained from doing so. 

“Myung” she heard Rika say, immediately raising her head.

“Where is Saeran?” MC asked. “Is he safe?”

“I must admit, Myung Chae… You have some guts to make Saeran this furious with you. He shrieked and screamed for me to get rid of you right now, did you know?” Rika took a deep breath, beginning to circle MC. “Myung Chae… He tried so hard to convince me that you were stupid, but I knew from the beginning that you are clever. But this does not mean that you must be arrogant and dare to bring Ray back.”

“I did not bring  _ Ray _ back, I brought Saeran back. The real Saeran, not the one you made him become.”

MC tried to free herself from the believers and advance towards Rika, but they pulled her back once more.

“Watch this sharp tongue of yours,” Rika said, pulling MC’s hair and forcing her to look up. “Someone might want to cut it out.” she let go, still looking directly to MC “Saeran is nothing but delusional. You had no great accomplishment in bringing Ray back momentarily. It was just a side effect from the elixir, that’s all. Do you understand?”

MC scoffed. “I perfectly understand. I can see how threatened you feel by me right now, desperately trying to grasp this sickening power you have over my friend!”

“Sickening? Is that what you’ll call me saving that boy’s life?”

“You didn’t save him, you’re killing his soul little by little!” MC yelled.

The girl watched Rika pinch her nose in disapproval, taking a deep breath. The tension in the room was palpable, still, MC refused to back away. She had had enough from that girl Rika and everything she had caused to the people Myung loved.

“I am the one who decides what is best for my child. He is  _ my  _ child, MC. I can do whatever I wish with him and it will be best. Try worrying more about you, from now on” Rika voiced. “What did you think that would happen to you? Pathetic, really.” she laughed, but her voice and eyes transpassed no joy, only anger and consternation over Myung. “You did not think that your little stunt before would free you, did you? Ray and Saeran belong to me. They will obey me and serve me because they know that this is the only place that would ever accept a weak child like him!” she laughed again. “Do you think that by walking in here and making this little stunt you can take him away and start saying what is best for him?”

“Well, there are some differences between me and you, Rika” MC answered. “I would never try to say what’s best for him. All I want is to bring him to a state where he is conscious of his choices and can get hold of his own life! Just because you took care of him and Saeyoung when they were kids, this doesn’t mean that they belong to you!”

“I see… Let your delusions run free” Rika said, tugging MC’s hair once more. “Say whatever you’ll want. Before I finally get rid of you and that other nuisance in the basement, I will make sure that you’ll tell me everything Ray has been keeping from me. Your cleansing ceremony will be a very special entertainment tonight. Excuse me now, Myung Chae. I have preparations to do. For eternal paradise”

As soon as Rika left, the believer’s pulled her, draggin her out of the room and into the hallway. They were strong, hurting her arm as they forced her to move forward, her legs barely able to keep up with the pace. Just like that, they forced her to go downstairs, back to the basement, completely ignoring the fact that the girl began to cry. Throughout the way, Saeran was nowhere to be seen. 

Without another word, they threw her inside one of the cells, making her fall to the ground. Myung sobbed, unable to comprehend the sequence of events that she had gone through in the last minutes. Everything had been so fast, so terrifying. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling the warm tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Myung?” a voice called. It was warm and gentle, feeling just like a blanket on a cold day. “Shh, calm down.”

She allowed V to hug her, holding her tight near him. For once, she did not want to think about how angry she was at the leader of the RFA or how much she wished to leave. All she wanted to do in that moment was to take her time to cry.

“Take a deep breath,” he said, stroking her hair. “We… We’ll get out of here soon, I-I’m… I’ll solve this.”

“No you won’t you stupid liar” she cried, without letting go of his hug. 

“This is just… a bad moment?” he chuckled.

“You’re so lame” MC answered, crying. “Why didn’t you call for help that night? I asked you to call for help. Saeyoung would have come, he could have helped with all this. Why, V?”

He pushed her apart from him, resting his hands in her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, MC. I thought that I could just give myself to Rika and convince her to let the two of you go. I’m very, very sorry for all this” he took a deep breath “Please… Here, eat something. They gave this to me, but I’ve only eaten half of it. I’m not… feeling well today” he smiled, giving her a bowl of rice cakes.

Myung was wary of anything that came from that place, but she was starving and scared, which meant that it did not take her more than a second to dive into the tiny cakes. The feeling of food finally reaching her stomach after a day without it was blissful.

In the end, she did not have anything else to say. All she did was eat the rice cakes, unable to lift her head to V at that moment. That could be the last meal she would have, she had some thoughts to sort out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	29. Worth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mentions of child abuse

_ A new chatroom has opened _

Yoosung: GUYS

Yoosung: GAAAAAAAH

Yoosung: IS ANYONE HERE?!

_ Jaehee has entered the chatroom _

Jaehee: Is something wrong?

Yoosung: Jaehee!

Yoosung: The prosecution

Yoosung: Shit

Jaehee: LANGUAGE

Yoosung: The prosecution took Zen

Yoosung: THE PROSECUTION TOOK ZEN

Jaehee: WHAT?!

Yoosung: Jaehee

Yoosung: I need help

Yoosung: I don’t know what to do

Yoosung: And you are obsessed with Zen and all

Jaehee: EXCUSE ME

Yoosung: Please

Yoosung: Summon the other crazy fans

Yoosung: Save him

Jaehee: I….

Jaehee: I don’t know how to answer this

Jaehee: I shall contact Mr, Han

Jaehee: Wait here

_ Jaehee has left the chatroom _

Yoosung: How is Jumin going to help?

Yoosung: We need the main task force

Yoosung: That’s you and Saeyoung

Yoosung: Because you know judo

Yoosung: And Seyoung is a secret agent

Yoosung: And Mr. Vanderwood

Yoosung: I don’t know what he does, but he is cool

Yoosung: Jaehee?

Yoosung: Jaehee!

Yoosung: CAN ANYONE HELP ME?????????

_ Vanderwood has entered the chatroom _

Vanderwood: Holy crap

Vanderwood: Calm down, kid

Vanderwood: Seven is coming in

Vanderwood: Wait, I’m cool?

Yoosung: MR. VANDERWOOD

Yoosung: ZEN WAS TAKEN BY THE PROSECUTION

_ Saeyoung has entered the chatroom _

Saeyoung: Yoosung, calm down

Saeyoung: What happened?

Yoosung: We were having breakfast

Yoosung: Then those guys knocked on the door.

Yoosung: They told Zen that they were from the prosecution service 

Yoosung: And that they were conducting an investigation 

Yoosung: on illegal people living in the country,

Yoosung: So they asked him to go with them

Yoosung: saying that they had some questions!

Yoosung: I’m really worried!

_ Jumin Han has entered the chatroom _

Jumin Han: Yoosung

Jumin Han: Remain calm, we will try to sort out this situation in the best manner

_ Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom _

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang

Jumin Han: Please, make sure to contact the legal department immediately 

Jumin Han: and tell them to send an attorney to assist Zen

Jumin Han: Such an investigation is completely unprovoked

Yoosung: wow, Jumin

Yoosung: I never thought that you would act so quickly to help Zen

Jumin Han: He is a member of the RFA

Jumin Han: I must give him any assistance needed in a moment like this

Jumin Han: Now, Saeyoung

Saeyoung: We shouldn’t talk through here

Saeyoung: Crap, crap

Saeyoung: I shouldn’t be here

Vanderwood: Do you think that

Saeyoung: I’m pretty sure that’s him

Saeyoung: Zen has been part of gangs, but that’s way into his past

Saeyoung: Besides, he does not have a fake ID

Saeyoung: Yoosung, stay in the house. 

Saeyoung: If someone knocks again, DON’T open the door!

Saeyoung: Plan an easy scape route if someone comes to the apartment, 

Saeyoung: but DON’T go to your place

Saeyoung: Go to C&R

Vanderwood: Shouldn’t he go to someone else’s house?

Vanderwood: I mean… Is it cool for him to stay at home alone?

Yoosung: Hey!

Yoosung: I’m 19!

Yoosung: I can take care of myself!!!!!

Vanderwood: You’re 19???

Saeyoung: Guys, focus!

Saeyoung: I’ll leave

Saeyoung: Vanderwood, stop smoking and come inside

Saeyoung: Jumin, I’ll call you

Saeyoung: Yoosung, Vanderwood is right

Saeyoung: It’s to dangerous for you to stay alone

Saeyoung: Go to C&R right now

Saeyoung: That’s all my fault

Saeyoung: I’m sorry

Saeyoung: I’m so sorry

_ Saeyoung has left the chatroom _

_ Vanderwood has left the chatroom _

Yoosung: I’m so offended!

Yoosung: I can totally take care of myself!

Jaehee Kang: Should I cancel the car that is heading to Zen’s place to pick you up?

Yoosung: NO!!

Yoosung: I mean

Yoosung: No

Yoosung: I’m going to wait here until it arrives

Yoosung: Should I pack my stuff?

Jumin Han: Of course.

Jumin Han: If this situation with Zen isn’t solved until the end of the day

Jumin Han: you can stay at my home for the night

Jumin Han: You are still not over age

Jumin Han: As the closest people to you, we must guarantee your safety

Jumin Han: At least that is what your mother asked us after your graduation

Yoosung: So embarrassing

Yoosung: Fine, I’ll go pack

Jaehee Kang: I’ll check with the car and tell them to call you when they arrive. 

_ Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom _

Yoosung: Hey, Jumin

Yoosung: Before I go…

Yoosung: Zen will be alright, won’t he?

Jumin Han: Do not worry

Jumin Han: Zen is even stronger than he looks

Jumin Han: We must trust that Saeyoung will do his best to help us too

Jumin Han: Go pack your bag

Yoosung: Okay

Yoosung: See you soon!

_ Yoosung has left the chatroom _

Jumin Han: Yes

Jumin Han: He will be fine

Jumin Han: He has to be

_ Jumin Han has left the chatroom _

. . .

Saeyoung walked around, rushing towards his computer. His hands shivered as he opened it, seeing the bright screen light up. Without time to stop, his eyes rushed through the screen, leading him to open the RFA app server.

“Do you think that this is related to you?” Vanderwood asked, locking the door behind him. “I’m going to admit that I’m not very fond of the government searching for people with fake ID”

“I don’t  _ think _ , I’m sure of it… I thought that the jerk had just dropped it when he couldn’t find me in the RFA or after talking to V. But of course he didn’t, the big asshole politician” Saeyoung said, picking up his phone and selecting Jumin’s contact. 

The phone only rang once before Jumin’s voice came from the other side of the line.

“Good morning, Saeyoung. It has not been long since we have last spoken” he greeted.

“No, it hasn't,” Saeyoung replied. “I’ll be brief, alright? Phones can be tricky.” he said, watching Vanderwood sit down in front of his own computer, looking for traces of the call being monitored by someone. “I think that this is what my father is doing to track me and Saeran. What I can do right now is limit Zen’s access to the app and delete information from his phone. I’ll start working on this right away.”

“It seems like a promising plan.” Jumin agreed. “But what about you?”

“I’m going to make myself and Vanderwood invisible in the app. We’ll be there, but no one can see or track us. That’s the only way”

“I meant to say ‘How are you feeling” Jumin repeated. “V asked me to take care of you if something ever happened to him… And I am worried as well, Saeyoung.”

The ginger boy took a deep breath, leaning back in the chair. He was tired, exhausted, as if all his energy was being drained to power a much bigger computer. 

“I’m worried,” he answered. “And I’m really afraid that they will find my brother.” he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry Jumin, I need to go now. Vanderwood is waiting for me, we need to act fast today.”

“Good luck, Saeyoung” Jumin replied. “Be safe.”

When he hung up, Vanderwood was staring at him, his eyes depicting a worry that he had rarely seen in his life. This bothered him, but he couldn’t say if it was because he did not want Vanderwood to worry about him or because he feared being judged by the older agent. Maybe it was a bit of both.

“What?” he asked.

“We’ll solve this. You know that, right?” Vanderwood asked.

“We should get to work,” Saeyoung said, avoiding the question. “We need to hurry. If my father is after us, I’d prefer to have Saeran nearby as soon as possible. We’re invading that place tonight.”

“Are you crazy?” Vanderwood asked. “We need to prepare-”

“We’ve prepared enough!” Saeyoung interrupted. “Let’s solve this thing with Zen and wrap up whatever we need. We have twelve hours before we go there”

. . .

_ “I wish mom would let you come out more with me,” Saeyoung said, balancing his brother on his back. _

_ Saeran hugged his twin’s neck tight, resting his head on the back of Saeyoung’s head. In his hands was the bag containing the headache medicine mother had told them to buy. _

_ “At least she allowed us to go together this time,” he smiled.  _

_ “That’s the good part of asking things when she is hungover. She just wanted me to stop talking, I don’t even think that she understood what we asked her.” Saeyoung laughed. _

_ “You’re so cool, Saeyoung. You always think about everything!” Saeran said. “Maybe she’ll see that everything is fine and let me go out more.” _

_ “Yeah!” Saeyoung cheered. For the first time, he and his brother were able to go outside together without the fear of mother waking up before they were back. In their abnormal sense of daily life, it was a relief to find a small feeling of normality. Besides, from the time they had transpassed the door, the older boy couldn’t stop smiling upon seeing the gleaming expression in his brother’s face. Saeran was always so happy to see the sky and, for once, mother had allowed him to do so, releasing him from the terrible hostage situation that he was held in. “She’ll see that I’m much better at taking care of you than she is.” _

_ “That sounds mean” Saeran pointed out, his already low voice reduced to a faint whisper. _

_ “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?” Saeyoung brushed his brother’s leg with his thumb. “I hate leaving you alone with her. I really do. That horrible woman... I don’t like mom, Saeran” _

_ “But she is our mom,” Saeran answered. “Aren’t we supposed to like her?” _

_ Suddenly, Saeyoung entered one alleyway, too dark for Saeran’s liking. The younger boy shivered, clenching Saeyoung tighter. His twin was quiet, walking through a pathway completely different than the one they had taken on their way to the drugstore. _

_ “Hyung, I wanna go back,” he whimpered “I don’t like it here. I’m sorry for saying that about mom, please, I wanna go back to the street” _

_ “Stay quiet,” Saeyoung whispered and a shiver went down Saeran’s spine. “We’ll be home soon, I promise.” _

_ “But-”  _

_ “I promise!” he said, a bit louder than usual. “Let me tell you about something I saw on the street yesterday.” _

_ His brother continued moving forward, telling him something about a dog while leading them through the alley. Noises came from the surrounding buildings, disturbing Saeran, but Saeyoung did not mind them, continuing to walk and picking up his pace. In the background, Saeran began to hear the faint sound of steps, inaudible in the busy street they were before. Soon, the younger boy understood, scared of the man that had been following them for so long.  _

_ As soon as Saeyung turned the corner into another alley, he ran, stopping near a trash bin and taking Saeran off his back. _

_ “Get in,” he said. _

_ “What? No.”  _

_ Saeran backed up a few steps, but Saeyoung pulled him back by his wrist _

_ “Saeran, get inside” he insisted “Please, I’ll be right behind you. Trust me!” _

_ The boy was already crying, but with his brother’s help he climbed the bin. Saeyoung landed near him and quickly closed the lid over them. In the dark, Saeran cried harder, but soon his brother’s arms were around him and he was dragged to Saeyoung’s lap. The younger boy shivered while the other drew circles in his hair, rocking him back and forth, giving him small kisses on the head. Saeran did not have any clue of what was happening besides Saeyoung repeatedly telling him to stay quiet, assuring that they would be out soon. _

_ “I’m looking for them,” they heard one voice say. _

_ Saeran shivered, curling up against his brother’s chest. He could feel Saeyoung’s breathing accelerate as his older twin began crying too.  _

_ “I’ve sent the signal because they matched the description.” the man said, apparently talking on the phone “No, I did not contact the boss. They could have been two street children too, by the way they were dressed.” _

_ Saeyoung hugged Saeran tighter, murmuring a prayer.  _

_ “I’ll keep looking. No, don’t contact the big guy yet. If we send him a fake signal again he’ll have us killed instead of those brats. I’ll keep in touch” _

_ The steps faded away, but the boys remained still. That had been the first time one of their father's men came after them when Saeran was present. _

_ “We are safe. He didn’t do anything, we are safe” Saeyoung whispered, without knowing if he was saying it to his brother or himself. “Let’s just wait a bit before getting out of here, alright?” _

_ Saeran kept quiet the whole time, so many questions deep in his mind and he was unable to reach any of them.  _

_ Slowly, Saeyoung lifted the lid, jumping outside and helping his brother to do the same. In a few minutes, Saeran was being carried on his brother’s back once more and they were walking back home, the plastic bag still tied to Saeran’s arm. _

_ “Hyung… Why does dad want to kill us?” _

_ That was the question they never asked, leaving it always suspended in the air. Why? The boys could not comprehend why their lives had such small worth, what they had done to be considered a profit for mother and disposable for their father; a nuisance for both.  _

_ “Because he is bad,” Saeyoung answered. “He is bad and we are not. He is like the villain in the books, and we need to defeat him. You know?” _

_ “You don’t need to make something up,” Saeran answered. _

_ “I’m serious-” _

_ “Saeyoung…” _

_ “I don’t know,” Saeyoung answered, harder than he meant. “I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know. And I’m afraid of him. A lot. I’m really afraid of him ever hurting you.” _

_ They fell back into silence, Saeyoung’s steps resonating on the sidewalk. They were running out of time already, mother would start to be impatient soon. _

_ “Hyung… We’ll be fine, alright?” Saeran said. “I can walk from this point. I’m… Feeling better”  _

_ Saeyoung lowered him off his back, giving him a faint smile before turning to continue walking, but Saeran held his hand before he did so. _

_ “We’re together,” the younger said. “No one is going to hurt us.” _

_ Saeyoung smiled. Saeran always knew when his brother was faking it, but the smile was real that time. Saeran loved, loved, loved to see his brother’s true smile. _

_ “Come,” the older said, pulling him by the hand. “We should go back” _

_ As soon as they turned the corner, Saeyoung stopped. He saw the men in suits, the ones that worked for his father and had chased him many times in the past. One of them raised his head, looking straight at the two boys, and in the next moment Saeyoung was pulling Saeran by the hand, dragging him through the busy streets and listening to the shouts of the men behind them.  _

_ Without a notice, he felt Saeran’s hand let go of his, immediately turning around and seeing that his brother had fallen on the floor after tripping. The boy rushed towards him, putting him on his back before one of the men could grab him by the shirt. He ran away, carrying his crying brother all the time.  _

_ It took him a while to lose their chasers through the streets, as he knew well that he could not go back home before being sure that they were not being followed. As a result, the sun had completely set and the moon was shining in the sky, serving as illumination for them as they walked past the junkyard to reach their home. Saeran was walking near Saeyoung, limping because of the two bruises left on his knees after his fall. In the dark, the streets of the slum where they lived seemed to swallow them, demanding them to go deeper into the darkness until they reached their home. _

_ “Where have you been?” mother yelled as soon as they closed the door, making Saeran flinch and hide behind his brother. “I was waiting for hours for you to finally get back here with the medicine! What were you doing out there for this long?” _

_ She pulled the bag out of Saeran’s hand, throwing it over the counter and staring at her children once more. The boys shivered in her presence, afraid of everything she could do to them. _

_ “We didn’t mean to take this long, mom,” Saeyoung answered. “We… We were chased by father’s men, we had to hide from them for a while and-” _

_ “You what?” mother interjected, pulling him up by the collar and making him stand on the tip of his toes. _

_ “They chased us for a while b-but everything is f-fine now” he rushed to say. “Saeran is safe, too” _

_ Without saying another word she grabbed the younger boy by the arm, dragging both of them to the corner where they slept. The ginger woman dropped them on the floor and Saeran immediately hugged Saeyoung, shivering in his brother’s arms as they watched her take the two strings of rope that were attached to the water pipe.  _

_ “M-mom, nothing happened! We didn’t do anything wrong!” Saeyoung said, feeling Saeran wrap his arms around him and hugging him back. “Please, we didn’t-” _

_ “They could have taken you!” she yelled, tying the ends of the ropes at her children's ankles, the knot too tight against their skin. “It’s already a huge risk for me to have one of you walking around. What do you think will happen to my income if he takes both of you? Stop struggling, Saeyoung!” she yelled, pulling him by the ankle and forcing him to keep his leg steady. “Stupid children, asking me to go out together… What did you think that this would be? A little trip through town?” she pointed her thin finger to Saeran. “You’ll stay here, where I can have my eye on you. And you” she tugged Saeyoung’s hair, forcing him to look at her. “Don’t you dare ask me again to let you go together. I know what you did today, but if I find out that you took him outside, I swear to you, Saeyoung, that you’ll spend some days without being able to walk after I’m done with you. Don’t you dare risk the money that I get from your father.” _

_ Saeran whimpered, hugging Saeyoung tighter. The older boy felt hollow. It did hurt to hear mother saying those things, more worried about the money than about their safety. Of all times, that had been the one that they were closer to being caught, but it did not matter to her. It had never mattered to her.  _

_ Saeyoung made his brother comfortable, telling him to stop crying and assuring repeatedly that mother had not done any harm to them. After she fell asleep, he untied the rope from their ankles, remaking the knot to make it looser and stopping it from cutting through the skin. He hugged his brother and put him to sleep, giving him small kisses and drawing circles on his hair. Saeran loved small kisses and circles on his hair. The older boy kept remembering his mother’s words, the idea of them as a property forever sealed in his mind. Their life was worth nothing but money to his parents. Their father did not want to spend his, and mother wanted to earn hers. There was no care coming from either, no love, nothing. They did not matter at all, only the profit or loss that came from their existence. If father had taken them, mother would not have cared for nothing except the money. Always the money.  _

_ The ten year old boy hugged his twin, closing his eyes to sleep. He stopped the tears that were falling from his eyes. It did not matter that mother hated them. It didn’t. They had each other. That was more than enough. _

_. . . _

MC walked around the cell, trying to create an escape route in her mind. She had seen the entire way into the basement, so she knew how to reach the exit. The major problem that she encountered was the overwhelming amount of believers that would not allow her to do so. 

V coughed, making her turn around back to him. He had a fever. A terrible fever. He had told her that he was forced to drink the elixir and Ray had alerted her many times of how painful the process was, but V was depicting even more pain than she had imagined.

“Drink some water,” she said, giving him the bowl the believers had left for them.

“I am fine,” he coughed.

“V, please… Just drink the water” she pushed it into his hands.

Looking at him, MC felt a wide range of emotions growing within her chest. She felt angry at him, betrayed for his attitude of not calling anyone for help and deceived after having to uncover everything on her own when he had the answers from the beginning. She wondered what could have led him to that path. At the same time, his kindness towards her gave her hope of them leaving, even if a slight hope. She saw in him the figure that should be leading the RFA, and he seemed to her very capable of the job. But the lies… The lies got in his way. Why did he lie?

“You seem distressed,” he said.

“I’m not distressed,” MC answered. “I’m just… I’m really scared, V. What were you thinking?” she blurted out. “I’m sorry, but I can’t understand this. You could have asked for help. You had the time to leave, to call Jumin and Seven and ask them to come! Why didn’t you? Besides... You knew about Saeran. You knew about what Rika did to him in this place! You knew, V.” she pushed her hair away from her face, tears forming in her eyes. “Why did you lie?”

The older man looked at her, his eyes filled with pain that MC was unable to describe or comprehend. Deep in them she saw the shame of a broken man, the shattered heart of the promise that had been abandoned so long ago. The kind mint eyes that gave her, simultaneously, a feeling of comfort and loss.

“I only came to know about Saeran after Rika disappeared. For two years she led me to believe that the child was safe, studying abroad. She was the one to contact him because she told me that he asked for some space. I believed her blindly, she is the love of my life… She  _ was  _ the love of my life.” he lowered his head, unable to face the girl that he had been responsible for dragging into the mess and was, still, so kind to him “I made so many promises to Saeyoung… I told him many times that Saeran was happy and safe. I couldn’t allow him to see his brother before everything was solved.”

“The boy has been brainwashed by a cult!” MC exclaimed. “How did you expect Saeyoung to never find out?”

“I thought that it would be easier to explain when things were over!” V insisted. “This is all my fault, Myung. Purely and solely my fault. I had to solve this by myself, I could never involve someone else on this.” he lowered his head, allowing his hair to fall in front of his face. “I deserve any suffering that comes towards me. I made so many promises to those around me, but what worth did they have? I tried to save her, you know? I told Rika that I would love her no matter what she did. When she talked about the darkness within, all I did was give her my light, without realizing that I was suffocating her, that I was…” he looked up to MC. “I need to sacrifice myself. This is the only way that she will let the two of you go. I’m the only person that should suffer since everything that I touch withers and dies. I’m not useful to anyone… At least I should give myself some use by making this last sacrifice and allowing this madness to end with the two of us.”

MC stared at him for a minute. “That’s absurd.” the girl said, getting closer to him. She lowered her tone, trying to keep the conversation, maintain him talking. She wished to help him. “V… That’s not healthy. Self destruction is not healthy. And what you are doing won’t help anyone. Please… This isn’t a behavior that you can maintain for long. Look where it has gotten you”

“There is nothing else for me in this world,” he said. “I swore to make her happy. If she isn’t, it is because I failed.”

“V, listen to me” MC said. “You are not responsible for anyone’s happiness.”

“But-”

“Let me finish. You’ve talked enough” she said, ripping a strip of her robe in order to soak it in water and place it in V’s forehead. “Rika clearly has her own issues and I don’t know how she was when you two met, but you are not responsible for solving her problems for her. As her romantic partner, your responsibility relied on supporting her in the path towards healing, but you are not responsible for her healing as a whole. You are wrong from the very beginning. You are not responsible for anyone’s happiness.” she repeated. “My grandma used to tell this to me and I kept it in my heart. No one changes if they don’t want to, V. It’s clear that Rika has serious issues, but the help that she needs is much bigger than the one that you can ever provide her with.”

He held her hand, his palms were sweating because of the side effect of the elixir. 

“But I swore to give her unconditional love. How can I abandon her to deal with her problems alone when I love her?” he shook his head, pushing his weight up against the wall in order to sit. “I keep remembering my mother. She taught me-” he coughed, shivering as he spoke. “She showed me what was unconditional love, to give your life for the person that you love. If I can’t even do this… Why am I even here?”

MC tried to give him a supportive smile, without letting go of his hand. She felt his warm skin against hers, his sad eyes seeking for an answer that she was not sure that she had.

“Love… Is a complex feeling” she answered. “It comes from different people and in different forms, but something that love should never be is a prison. It is not a punishment, neither a burden. And above all, it shouldn’t harm you. Now, V… Do you  _ love _ , Rika?”

He averted her gaze once more, closing his eyes to think. He used to. Didn’t he? It felt like the right thing to do, they were engaged, he had to be in love with her to have been engaged.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “I just… don’t know anymore.” V looked back at her. “Thank you for the help. I didn’t wish to be a burden to you”

“You’re not a burden,” MC answered, smiling at him. “There is no shame in receiving help from those around you”

“You are very peculiar, Myung.” V smiled “I must think about what you told me. I promise that I will”

. . .

“Stupid girl,” Saeran muttered to himself, walking around his room. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

The boy had spent the last minutes pacing in his room, trying to absorb the news that Myung Chae would be thrown away with the traitor V.  _ Myung Chae.  _ She had it coming. Saeran had warned her every time of what would happen if she continued with that ridiculous attitude.  _ She was scared of us.  _ He had told her to behave or he would get rid of her.  _ Get rid of the weaklings.  _ Saeran would get rid of every part of his past, including Myung Chae. Savior had been so kind, so kind, so kind in granting him his wishes and making sure that MC would be taken care of.  _ We should protect her.  _ If she wasn’t so weak she would have protected herself.  _ She took care of us before. _ Memories. The memories, memories, useless memories coming back to him.  _ She is our friend.  _ That voice. That new voice in his mind he hated that. He hated, hated, hated that. He was the strong one, the one that deserved to stay. Myung Chae was just like Ray. She had to leave, leave, leave.

He grabbed his hair, tugging it hard. He was the strong one. Him. Saeran Choi.  _ MC is strong.  _

“She isn’t!” he yelled. “that stupid girl isn’t strong. I am strong! She is dumb like Ray!”

_ Ray knew kindness. _

“Kindness is for weaklings!” he said. “I am strong, I don’t need that. I don’t need kindness, I don’t need love, I don’t need memories, memories, memories.”

But they kept coming to him.  _ Lies? _ Lies. The traitor had never loved him. Saeran had always been alone. Always alone. Always.  _ The hug. _ It was never real. Never. Never. Never.  _ Whose hug was that?  _ No one. Saeran was never hugged.  _ Saeran loved the small kisses on the head. _

He stood up, opening his door. That stupid girl had brought his memories back. Savior would be disappointed, but he couldn’t bear to deal with the damned thoughts anymore. He had been the one to bring her to Magenta, perhaps the memories would go away if he was the one to get rid of her too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	30. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really intense and I don't want to give much of it on the warnings, but I can tell you that there are mentions of child abuse.

V opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, the pain in his chest growing stronger at each second, spreading to his limbs. MC was doing everything that she could to make him comfortable, but even with her care the elixir was growing in his veins, burning him from the inside. With great effort, he sat up, leaning his body against the wall to look at her, seeing Myung hugging her own legs, a few meters apart from him.

“For how long have I been asleep?” he asked, his head spinning with the pain.

“Not much. I think that half an hour or something like that?” she smiled, chuckling softly. “We should file a complaint for them to place some watches down here”

He laughed, adjusting himself against the wall.

“I mean it,” the girl continued. “If I’m going to die I want to know how long I’ll have to wait for it” 

“I would never expect less,” he added. 

Silence fell in between them and Myung turned her attention to the hallway once more. She was listening, trying to catch a glimpse of anyone who could come for them. They had received their sentences, but there was no date nor time. The lack of windows only added up to her confusion about time.

“You were a student, weren’t you? Before this madness.” he said. “What were you studying?”

“I’m majoring in arts,” she answered. “I began studying at SKY University at the beginning of this school year.”

“Same as Yoosung, then” he pointed out.

“Yes. It’s a shame that I didn’t get to meet him before.” she tried to smile. “You’ve studied there too, right? My art theory teacher showed us a bunch of pictures of yours and talked a lot about her ‘prodigy student Jihyun Kim who dropped out of college’” she laughed.

“Oh, God.” he chuckled. “I believe that’s me, yes. Ms. Park, right? She was lovely.” he stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, as if he was trying to grab a thought that passed too fast through his mind. “Funny, isn’t it? I dropped out in order to commit to my career. I was already dating Rika and we had so many plans. I failed to reach all of them… Funny how sometimes we are sure that some things will happen and then… they don’t.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know if I understand what you mean,” Myung said.

“I made promises that I was sure that would become true, and they didn’t. Me and Rika promised to marry each other, I promised the twins that they would never be abused again, that I would always be by their side. I was so sure of all of those things, but then… I couldn’t fulfill them and they all became lies. How could I mess things up so badly?”

Before Myung could answer, steps coming their way took hold of her attention, making her look into the hallway. As they kept approaching, she stood up, walking up to the door and seeing Saeran coming their way, his eyes flashing with anger.

“How are you feeling knowing that you’ll die, princess?” Saeran asked, his mocking smile stamped over his lips. “They gave me your phone, you see? But there’s nothing interesting in here, Ray has already blocked all the crap that you have stored” he said, dropping her phone on the floor and stepping over it, cracking the screen. 

“Why are you here?” MC asked. “I was worried, Saeran. How are you feeling?”

“Just cut this bullshit of yours.” he said, unlocking the cell and stepping inside.  _ Don’t hurt her.  _ He looked at the liar’s pathetic figure lying on the ground. He did not matter.  _ Hyung? _ Both of them did not matter. “I’m here to make sure that this filthy heart of yours is still beating. After all that, don’t you have anything different to say? Don’t you know that you’ll die?” he laughed. “I’m sure that it will be quite the show, but Savior… Savior decided that it would be better for me to not be there.” 

The corners of his mouth distorted in disapproval, a detail that did not remain unnoticed by MC.

“So that’s why you came? Did you realize that you don’t want me to die?” she asked, taking one step in his direction. “Saeran, please… You won’t get the sense of fulfillment that you seek if you do this. You can kill me a thousand times, but it won’t make your pain go away!”

“Shut up!” he yelled. “Can’t you shut your mouth for once? Don’t you know why you are being dragged to the cleansing ceremony? It’s all your fault, not mine. You will die because you couldn’t stay in your place. It's your fault! Your fault! Your fault! You’re an airhead. A good for nothing. You only ended up like this because you did useless things.” he ruffled his hair, staring at her. “But still… You’re mine. This makes no sense! Why would they get to dispose of you? I can't even be there! Why? Why do I have to miss all the fun?”

“Saeran, please,” MC called. “That’s enough. You’ll end up hurting yourself if you continue with this. The pain that you feel comes from inside. It won’t change even if I’m not here.”

“Shut up!” he yelled, pushing her against the wall. “You know nothing about me! I’m in a violent mood right now, so don’t you provoke me or I’ll end up getting rid of you right here! You should just nod whenever I talk to you!  _ You don’t deserve to say anything! _ ”

_ “Shut up! You don’t deserve to say anything!” mother yelled, pushing him against the wall. The small boy shivered, his frail legs trembling after being forced to stand up for hours as a punishment for crying earlier in the day. “You’re not just an airhead. You’re a good-for-nothing. You don’t deserve to say anything for the day!” _

_ He cried harder, feeling his legs give up as he fell on the floor.  _

_ “M-mom, p-please,” he cried, curling up against the wall _

_ “Shut up!” she yelled, pulling him by the hair. “Make any sound and I’m locking you up in the closet.” _

Saeran took two steps back, putting his hands on his head.

“Saeran?” MC called, advancing in his direction.

“Shut up!” he screamed. “Don’t you fucking try to laugh at me, I’ll throw you away! I’m not like that woman! I’m not like her!” his vicious stare turned to MC, who took a step back. “You are the one making me remember. It is because of you that all those memories are coming back! It is your fault!” he started to go towards her once more. “This is all because you forgot how useless you are and talked to me as if you were smart, but you are not! You’re just  _ useless and stupid! _

_ “This is all your fault!” mother yelled without letting go off him. “Useless scum. You’re much more stupid and weaker than your brother! _

_ “Mom, stop!” Saeyoung yelled, coming out of the kitchen. His voice trembled as he tried to take her attention away from his brother. “I was the one who broke the plate. Please, leave Saeran alone! He has nothing to do with this!” _

_ Mother let go off his hair, turning to face his twin. The smaller boy shivered, cornered as a scared cat hoping to defend himself but without knowing how.  _

_ “Don’t even get me started with you, Saeyoung. If this moron wasn’t being a nuisance and crying, you would be paying attention and wouldn’t have dropped the damn thing!” she yelled, still listening to the younger boy whimpering. “Saeran, I told you to shut up!” _

_ “Stop yelling at him, he’s scared! That’s why he’s crying!” Saeyoung yelled. “If you hate to hear us crying, then stop giving us a reason to do so!” _

_ “Don’t you fucking dare to talk to me like that!” she said in between her teeth, pulling Saeyoung by the arm. “All of this is happening because you forgot how useless you are and talked to me as if you were smart, have you forgotten about it? Did you forget your little act from before, sneaking food to your brother? You two are the only ones to blame for this mess” _

_ Saeran raised his head. Every part of him knew what was about to happen to his brother, but he couldn’t allow that. He shouldn’t allow that. _

_ “Let go of him!” Saeran yelled, tugging her arm and making her release his brother from her grip. _

Saeran screamed, pressing his hands against his head once more.

“Saeran, please, let me help you!” Myung insisted, getting closer to him.

“You,” he voiced, grabbing her arms with both of his hands. “I should just kill you! If I do that, you won’t torment me anymore! Stop! Make it stop!”

“I’m not doing anything against you!” Myung answered. “Saeran, please… I don’t understand.”

“You brought them back!” he yelled. “The memories! Memories, memories, stupid memories that you gave me!” he shook her, ignoring the tears streaming down her cheek “They are lies, lies, lies, all of them the lies of that filthy hypocrite! But I’m strong! I can’t be the one crying in pain, that should be you!” he stopped, staring at her. “Why don’t you fucking cry in pain? Why don’t you say anything?”

Myung didn’t answer, sending a bolt of rage through his body.  _ Leave her alone.  _ Stupid girl. It would be so easy to kill her, so easy.  _ Stop it.  _ That weird voice would go away, it would go away.  _ It’s not her fault.  _ She made him remember. He would kill her, but first, he needed to understand. He needed to know why she was never afraid of him. 

“Tell me that you’re scared! No one can ever hurt me or torment me ever again and you are my proof! I’m not stupid. I’m not weak. I’m not useless, useless, useless.” he pressed her against the wall, unable to notice the tears falling from his own eyes. “Take them back! How did you do this? How did you bring them back?”

“Saeran, what are you talking about?” she asked, crying.

“The memories!” he screamed. “Take them back! Take them back! Why do I keep remembering him? Why do I keep having those visions, seeing the lies that that hypocrite told me?” he screamed, pointing towards V. “What is this hug that I keep remembering? How can it not be yours? Answer me!”

“Saeran, enough!” V intervened, his deep voice cutting through air like a sword, forcing the boy to step back. “Enough, my child. You know that it isn’t her fault.” 

V forced himself to stand, limping as he tried to walk up to Saeran.  _ Hyung? _ Liar. Liar. LIAR. Saeran stepped back, breathing in between his teeth as he looked at V. He was so close now, so close, so close.  _ Don’t.  _ He hated V.  _ Ray hates V too.  _ He hated V so much that his head was hurting, hurting, pain crawling down his spine and spreading itself throughout his face.

“Saeran… Is this all the effect of the elixir?” the older man asked. “You are not like this.”

“Who are you to tell me what I am?” Saeran snared, but soon after he held his head in between his hands, his legs faltering because of the pain.

“Saeran!” V exclaimed.

Saeran saw the man coming in his direction and reached inside his suit, pulling the only thing that could release him forever.  _ We won’t be free like this.  _ He pointed the gun to the man, listening to MC scream in the back.  _ Don’t do this.  _

“Oh my God, Saeran…” MC murmured, raising her hands and standing still, unable to react to the fact that her friend was pointing a gun to V.

“Stay…. Stay away!” he yelled. “Stay away from me! I have a gun! I can kill you, so stay away!”

Once more the pain bolted through his head, making him shriek.

“Saeran…” V tried to take a step in his direction, but he raised the gun to him once more, keeping it only a few milimeters away from his chest.

“Stay. Away.” he said, tears still streaming down his face. “Don’t fucking touch me”

“My child, please.” V said, without taking his eyes from Saeran. “All we want to do is save you. I know that I don’t deserve to see you. I understand that you hate me, but please, let’s leave this place. If you stay, it won’t be more than poison for you!”

Saeran took a step back.  _ Accept it.  _ No.  _ Ray is weak, so weak to stay outside.  _

“Are you mad?” he asked. “If I leave this place… I- I-”

_ Mother turned her gaze upon him, her eyes flashing furiously for him interrupting her when she was about to punish his brother. Mother hated him, hated him, hated him. Saeran knew that, but at the same time Saeran loved, loved, loved his brother. He did not want Saeyoung to get hurt. _

_ “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” she yelled, pulling her arm away and pushing him backwards.  _

_ The boy fell back, turning around in his fall and hit his head against the counter. He fell on the floor, placing his hand over his forehead. Mother was still yelling at Saeyoung in the background, but he could barely listen. His head was hurting, hurting, hurting. He looked at his hand and saw a red blur, the tears getting in his eyes and making it difficult for him to see the blood. He cried, cried, cried, listening to Saeyoung sobbing in the background, crying in pain, but he didn’t turn back to look. He couldn’t look back, he was in too much pain to do so. Suddenly, a pair of hands pulled him close, leading him to lean his head against his brother’s chest. I’m bleeding, Saeyoung, he wanted to say, but the pain in his chest only allowed him to cry harder. Mother was still yelling in the back, throwing curses and threats their way, but he couldn’t listen. The pain was too strong to allow him to understand what she was saying. Still, his brother hugged him tight, giving him small kisses on the head. Saeran loved small kisses on the head. _

“Don’t!” he screamed. “Don’t lie to me! Stop this! Stop making me remember those lies! Stop!”

“My boy, the only lies that you found were the ones you learned here!” V insisted. “Try to remember before you left me! I was about to teach you photogra-”

“Don’t talk about the past to me!” Saeran yelled. “You always made it sound like you would do anything for me! And now I’m… I’m…”

“I meant every word! Every single word.” V said, taking another step, his chest touching the barrel of the gun. “I still mean it”

Saeran stared at him.  _ We are crying.  _ When had he begun to cry? Crying was not for him, crying was for weaklings. He was strong. Strong. Strong!

“Stop! I’m strong, I’m… You can’t fool me anymore!” he raised the gun higher “I’ll kill you! I should just kill you!”

“If you kill me, then your way out of this place will be forever shut. You won’t ever see your brother again” V said, without taking his eyes off Saeran.

“I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you and I’ll kill the traitor! I’ll kill everyone that I want to because I’m strong!” he yelled.

“Saeran, please. Please. I’m begging you. Turn back now while you can!” V pleaded. “Turn back now before you commit even greater crimes like Rika did. I see now that, after doing this to you, she must be almost completely lost, but don’t allow her to take you too. Come back, my child, please”

“It’ll be so easy to kill you…” Saeran sobbed.

“You won’t kill me, Saeran. You’re just a tender boy who loves plants and the sky. And who loves his brother more than anything in the world.”

“Shut up!” Saeran said. “Shut up, I’ll… I’ll kill you.”

V stared deep into his teary eyes. “So be it. I just wish that you can be happy, my child.”

Saeran held the gun with both of his hands, unable to look away from  _ hyung.  _ No. No. No!

“Your brother loves you, Saeran” V said. “There was not one day when he didn’t think about you. When you disappeared, we were making all the preparations for him to leave the place where he was working. I believe that was why Rika rushed to bring you here.”

No. No one had ever loved Saeran. No one. No one. NO ONE!

“Let’s leave this place with Myung. She is terribly worried about you too. She loves you so much.”

“Please, Saeran” MC called, crying as he turned to look at her. “We want to help you. Please. You're my brave knight. Let’s just go away.”

Saeran took a step back.

“D-don’t talk to me! You don’t deserve to even think about me!” he said, lowering his gun as he looked at her. “If you do… If she leaves this place…” he looked at V, the gun shivering in his hand, pointed to the floor. “If she leaves, if this idiot leaves this place she…”

_ She’ll be much happier, unlike me. _

Without another word, Saeran bolted out of the cell, leaving it open until other believers came running to lock it up, searching for him. Myung fell on the floor, holding the phone that he had left behind in his escape. Their timers were running out, Saeran’s as well.

. . .

After Saeran left, they didn’t talk as neither of them felt able to do so. They listened to the believers shouting upstairs, occasionally a pair would pass in front of their cell, talking about how Mr. Saeran had gone missing. Gone missing. That sounded terrifying to MC. She had to protect him, help him get out, but all she did was bring more pain to her friend. She didn't even know what they could do to him if he was caught. 

V tried to talk, but whenever he felt that he had found something to say, he would shut his mouth once more, concluding that silence was better in that moment. Suddenly, the cell door opened, its noise resonating in the almost empty basement. As soon as MC raised her eyes, she felt her blood boil as she saw Rika coming towards them.

“Wasn’t this the perfect day to get rid of bugs?” the blonde woman asked, letting out her cynical smile.

“Where is Saeran?” MC asked, getting up. “What happened to him?”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?” Rika mocked, staring at MC.

“Don’t cross my patience, Rika, I’m serious!” Myung said, being pushed back by the believers that accompanied the woman “I’m a pacifist, but I’m this close to punching you in the face! Where is Saeran?”

“Ah, Myung Chae… I don’t know what you have done to him, but I hope that you’re glad. You managed to send him into the worst crisis that I have ever seen.” Rika said. “I imagined that you would be smiling in victory, but perhaps some sense has finally crawled it’s way into your head?”

MC took a deep breath, unable to believe in the words coming out of Rika’s mouth. 

“No, I’m not ‘smiling in victory’! This isn’t a competition, Rika, it’s my friend that you are talking about!”

“How clever you were, creating this disturbance.” the woman pointed out, without trying to conceal her annoyance. “Very well, congratulations to both of you, as you shall live another night. I’ll use you as bait, for sure he will come back for you.” she pinched the bridge of her nose “I truly thought that you were closer to a dunce, but I see there lurks cunning in you”

“I didn’t manipulate him.” Myung interrupted. “I was just trying to take care of him.”

“So with your innocence you managed to make everything work in your favor… Aren’t you a gem?” she laughed, opening a wide smile. “Allow me to make an offer. Rather than hating each other, why don’t we work together?” she asked, playing with the tips of MC’s hair. 

“I’m not going to manipulate Saeran!” MC exclaimed, pushing her hand away and immediately being held back by the believers.

“Oh, MC. I can see that you wish to do good. I was like this once, so listen to me when I tell you this.” Rika stroked MC’s cheek with the back of her hand. “True love is all that I give to my believers, especially Saeran. The only way of avoiding them to be destroyed in the outside world, is to make sure that they suffer and receive love in here”

“You say it’s love, but it’s nothing but manipulation!” MC struggled. “You don’t love anyone but yourself!”

MC had barely finished talking when Rika gave her a slap across her face. Tears immediately came to her eyes, filled with anger against the blonde woman.

“Don’t hurt her!” V said, standing up. “Don’t hurt her, Rika”

“You cannot control me anymore, V” Rika said, looking at him. 

“Rika… Please” he coughed, falling back on the floor.

Myung tried to run to his aid, but the believers kept holding her back.

“Rika… our love… our obsession… should end with me. She… She doesn’t deserve to get caught in this.” he raised his eyes to her. “Stop putting other people in the middle of this. I’m here for this to end!”

“There is no such thing as our love, V. There is only me, doing whatever I want to,” Rika said. “Don’t try to come here and ruin everything I built without you”

“I- I-” he lowered his head. “I’m sorry, Rika. I’m sorry that things turned out like this, but please… This has to end. It was my fault, giving you what I thought was love, but it was all obsession, hurting you because I couldn’t bring myself to see the truth. Let this all end with me!”

Rika stopped, staring at him. “What? You… You were never obsessed with me, you…” she shook her head, taking a step back. “You don’t even know obsession, everything you know is light, the endless love you’ve always given me!”

“No, Rika…” he coughed once more. “I was… I was obsessed with you. I thought… I thought that I loved you… That I should give you unconditional love… But what we had was none of that. It wasn’t healthy for either of us. I was obsessed with you.”

Rika was silent, panting as she looked at V, her hands shivering when she pushed the hair away from her face.

“What’s this?” she let out a faint laugh, her face unable to decide between confusion and madness. “You didn’t… It wasn’t love?” she frantically laughed. “You said that you loved me like the Sun!” she yelled, pushing V back and making him fall on the ground. “You said that you’d love me even if I tortured you, ruined you! But it wasn’t love? How can it not be love?”

V coughed, struggling to stand, but he couldn’t. “Rika, please…”

“Everything you told me… All lies!” she cried, tugging her own hair. “You lied to me! You said you love me! You said you love me! You said you love me! You can’t lie to me now! I felt it! It was real because I felt your love, I know that I did!”

She pulled V by the collar, but he had no strength to fight back. 

“Stop lying to me. I know that you love me. I know that you do!” she dropped him on the ground. “I will make you show me your love in the cleansing ceremony as soon as we find Saeran. Yes, as soon as we do.”

She left the cell, the believers following her close, dropping MC on the floor.

“I will show both of you that I can give happiness and love to those around me, and no lies will tell me the opposite. No lies!”

Myung ran towards V, calling his name as she kneeled on the floor, trying to help him sit up. The older man was too heavy for her, and in his semi-conscious state he was unable to respond to her call.

“Lie down,” she said, stroking his hair. “Lie down. You’ll be fine soon.” the girl shivered, watching the man fall unconscious. “We’ll be fine”

. . .

Myung Chae was crying, hugging her own legs as she sobbed. V remained unconscious, the only signs of life coming from him were his feverish whimpers and irregular breathing. The girl looked at her phone, the one Saeran had smashed on the ground. It was still working, the screen shining behind the shattered glass. Careful not to hurt herself, she stroked the screen with her thumb, unlocking it. None of the apps worked, with an exception of the last one she tried: the RFA messenger. As she opened it, the familiar picture of the members came to greet her. She saw Yoosung cheerfully smiling, Zen as handsome as ever, Jaehee shy smile, Jumin serious as ever, V with his kind eyes, and Saeyoung making a heart with his fingers. Saeyoung. The sight of him made her cry harder, her eyes burning from the amount of tears. All she wanted was a place to belong, but once more it all seemed to get away from her. Death and destruction were always in her surroundings. Couldn’t she find happiness for once? She read all the messages that she exchanged with the members in the two weeks that were the happiest ones since her grandmother died. Opening the album, she saw the photos they had sent, the moment when Yoosung celebrated his new skin in Lolol and the photos of Zen that always drove Jaehee insane. She saw the pictures of Elizabeth the Third, that Jumin cherished so much, and the childhood pictures of him and V.. And Saeyoung. She saw the photo of the cat robot, him dressed as a maid and his picture among cards. She saw everything that she could have had, immediately crying for having it taken away once more. 

Continuing to look through the messenger, she opened the chatrooms, looking at the old chats, her conversations with the RFA, even the ones with Ray. She had the chance to talk to the real Saeran, she had one opportunity to save him, but she failed. She terribly failed. Her eyes scrolled to the ending of the page, seeing one chatroom with Saeran by himself. She could not remember any chatrooms of him talking alone, until she noticed that it was open. Saeran was online. MC wiped her tears, clicking it in hopes of speaking to him.

MC: Saeran?

MC: Are you alright?

Saeran: No

Saeran: I felt so weird

Saeran: I threw up for hours

Saeran: I could smell nothing

Saeran: But this disgusting smell 

Saeran: of chemicals

MC: Are you feeling sick?

MC: I’m so worried about you

Saeran: Of course you are

Saeran: Why wouldn’t you be?

Saeran: I can’t understand you,

Saeran: Myung Chae

Saeran: Why are you worried about me?

Saeran: I don’t deserve it

Saeran: After what I’ve done

Saeran: I don’t deserve an angel like you

MC: Don’t say that

MC: We can mend everything

MC: We still have time, Saeran

Saeran: My mind and body

Saeran: are in ruins…

Saeran: I had no idea that I was this bad

Saeran: I wish everything inside

Saeran: would spill out completely with the chemicals

Saeran: I wish

Saeran: I wish that

Saeran: every particle

Saeran: of this hellish fate of mine

Saeran: so deeply rooted in my bones

Saeran: would completely leave my entire body.

MC: You’ve been suffering for too long…

Saeran: I don’t know

Saeran: I believed that if I admitted my suffering

Saeran: If I dared to ask for more 

Saeran: I would be weak

Saeran: But

Saeran: Now

Saeran: all the poison I swallowed to be stronger

Saeran: feels so disgusting

Saeran: I want to throw it all up

Saeran: For some reason the more I throw up

Saeran: these disgusting memories

Saeran: fill my head more and more

Saeran: Why do I keep remembering those things?

Saeran: They are lies!

Saeran: They are lies

Saeran: They are

Saeran: lies

MC: You know that they are not

MC: Look deep within your heart Saeran, and you’ll see

MC: Your past

MC: V

MC: Saeyoung

MC: You were loved by them, so much

MC: And I know that you feel this in your heart as well

MC: Can’t we start over?

MC: Don’t you want to go back?

Saeran: Can I really do that?

Saeran: I…

Saeran: I don’t see anything in my future

Saeran: There is nothing for me

Saeran: Anywhere

Saeran: I don’t even know who I am anymore

Saeran: I don’t know if I ever knew

Saeran: My name…

Saeran: My fate...

Saeran: My life...

Saeran: If I can throw up everything

Saeran: If I can escape myself

Saeran: and turn into an empty shell,

Saeran: will I be able to step outside into the world?

MC: You can start again whenever you want to

MC: Your life had barely begun, Saeran

MC: There is so much ahead of you

Saeran: Once someone told me that my name means

Saeran: “bird to be called”

Saeran: But who would ever call for me?

Saeran: How can I be wanted by anyone?

MC: You are not alone, Saeran

MC: There are so many people waiting for you

MC: Let’s go together

MC: Please

MC: I’ll help you.

Saeran: Who do you think you are to help me?

Saeran: I’ve done nothing good for you

Saeran: I’ve only tormented you

MC: You are my friend

MC: You’ll always be my friend

MC: I will never give up on you

Saeran: You’re so weird

Saeran: The Savior…

Saeran: Everyone here…

Saeran: They all despise me

Saeran: But you are different

Saeran: If I leave…

Saeran: Can I do nothing but stare at the world?

MC: Of course you can

MC: You’re free to choose that

Saeran: Free?

Saeran: I thought that freedom is something 

Saeran: you can find only in your dreams…

Saeran: I…

Saeran: I don’t even dream of freedom

Saeran: That’s too much for me

Saeran: If I were incapable of listening

Saeran: or speaking

Saeran: or thinking…

Saeran: If I were incapable of understanding

Saeran: what it means to be weak

Saeran: what it means to be strong

Saeran: or what it means to be useless...

Saeran: Perhaps

Saeran: that would be better for me.

MC: Weak and strong?

MC: Why don’t you come up with a new definition of weak and strong?

Saeran: Do you think

Saeran: I really deserve

Saeran: to define them for myself?

Saeran: If I were born as a little weed

Saeran: that nobody will ever care for

Saeran: I think that would have been better

Saeran: Even if people stomped on me

Saeran: I would survive

Saeran: I would stand

Saeran: And carry on

Saeran: And watch the sky

Saeran: And feel the breeze

Saeran: I want to see

Saeran: as much as I want

MC: If we decide to think differently,

MC: Even a weed will be a beautiful flower for us

MC: You are a beautiful flower to me

Saeran: …

Saeran: I wish

Saeran: someone

Saeran: would wipe my head clean.

_ Saeran has left the chatroom. _

. . .

_ Saeran shivered. The yelling and cursing sounded far away, echoing in his head as he felt unable to comprehend the words coming out of mother’s mouth. She was angry, but he couldn’t remember why. There was blood dripping down his head. Blood, blood. He hugged Saeyoung, listening to his older brother sob, holding him close. It was bleeding. Saeran was bleeding. The younger boy cried, tightening his grip against Saeyoung’s arm, feeling his chest in pain, pain, pain. Everything was hurting, as if every part of him was about to break.  _

_ “Stupid children!” mother yelled. “Don’t you fucking dare to look at me like that, Saeyoung Choi! Little brat, staring at me as if I’m a bad mother. You should be grateful for me putting a roof over your heads. Any other person would give you away or simply leave you on the street, but I didn't. And still I get nothing back from neither of you! Can’t you be useful for once? Is it too hard?” _

_ Saeyoung had no reaction other than hugging Saeran tighter, taking deep breaths as they shivered under the slurs mother threw at them. Saeran was bleeding and she didn’t notice. She never noticed things like that. At the same time, Saeran was afraid of Saeyoung telling her. He knew that mother would be angry. He knew. He knew that he was bleeding and there was no one around to help them. _

_ “This is all your fucking fault. You try to paint me as the bad guy, but look at you, breaking my things!” she yelled. “No one would ever love two brats like you, despicable little things. You should thank me for not abandoning you in the streets for your father to take. I should just have sold you away years ago. It would avoid many problems for me. But I didn’t, did I? I give you a house, and a goddamn blanket. I waste my money on food and clothing for you, so don’t fucking look at me like that, Saeyoung. You deserve everything that happens to you. If you weren’t so stupid and reckless you wouldn’t have to go through this. I was considering giving you dinner today, but after your little sneaking-food-to-Saeran act and breaking my plate, you can forget it! In this house you get things because you deserve them, you know that well!” _

_ She yelled one last time and slammed the door on her way out. She hadn’t noticed yet. The older boy began crying, hugging Saeran tighter. Hitting the head was never good, he had seen it in the movies. And blood could not be a good sign either. The boy was scared, so scared of the horrific situation mother had bestowed upon them.  _

_ Without second thought, Saeyoung ran towards the door to grab their shoes. First, he put it on Saeran, kissing his brother’s cheek as he did so. _

_ “You’ll be fine. I-We are going to get some help,” Saeyoung promised, tying his shoelaces. _

_ “It hurts,” Saeran cried, finding enough strength to mutter the words under his tears. “Saeyoung, is hurting.” _

_ “I know,” Saeyoung answered. “But it will get better. Come on, hop on my back” _

_ With two towels, he tied Saeran on his back, securing that his brother would not fall during the long walk ahead of him. They needed help, and Saeyoung knew where to find it. Even if scared, Saeran knew that hyung was very smart, he trusted that Saeyoung would take him to a safe place and make the pain go away. _

_ “Hold on tight,” he said to his brother, putting on his shoes and locking the door on their way out. “Stay awake, Saeran. Please, just stay awake.” _

_ The boy held his brother tight. He had never walked so far with Saeran on his back, but it didn’t matter. Mother did not care at all about them, so it was his responsibility to protect Saeran with everything that he had.  _

_ Saeyoung could barely recall the entire walk to the church. Everything had happened too fast. Mother’s scolding, his brother falling, him carrying Saeran through town, their ginger hair covered by the hoods of their coats. The boy was shivering, praying to find the only two people that would help him in a time like that. _

_ V was not the first one to see the boy’s arrival. They were helping to unload donations from a van when Rika saw the small figure coming down the street, carrying another figure, just as small, on his back. She felt her stomach sink as she realized that Saeyoung was carrying his younger twin, who seemed to be terribly hurt. _

_ “V,” she called, touching his arm to draw his attention before running towards the children. _

_ Saeyoung was panting. The fourteen year old could barely take another step, stumbling to reach the iron gates that surrounded the cathedral. His legs and arms were almost dorment, but he knew that he couldn’t falter. He did not know if his brother’s injury was serious or not, he didn’t.  _

_ “P-please,” he sobbed, seeing Rika run closer to him. “M-mother has… S-Saeran is h-hurt, h-he…” _

_ “Shhh, shhh. Everything will be fine my child.” she cooed, lifting Saeran’s bangs in order to see from where the blood was coming from. The small boy shivered, hiding his face against Saeyoung’s head.  _

_ “I’ll take him inside,” V said, trying to take Saeran from Saeyoung’s back, but the younger boy tightened his grip on his brother’s neck. He was safe with Saeyoung, not with strangers “Shh, Saeran. We’ll help you. Your brother is coming too. Shhh.” _

_ “Hyung,” Saeran cried for his brother, reaching out his hand towards Saeyoung while he was being raised in V’s arms. _

_ “It’s fine, Saeran.” Saeyoung said, holding his hand. “Hyung and noona will take care of you. I’m here.” _

_ They guided the boys inside through the backdoor. Rika held Saeyoung close, allowing him to cry while V carried his semi-conscious brother to a small room in the back of the church. As soon as they placed Saeran on the couch, Saeyoung hugged him, pulling him close in order to stop his crying. _

_ “Don’t cry.” he whispered, stroking his hair. “Don’t cry. Hyung and noona are here, they’ll take care of us. They are so, so, so nice.” _

_ “What happened?” V asked, kneeling near Saeyoung while Rika ran after the first aid kit.  _

_ The older boy cried harder, hugging his brother tighter. He did not know. She had pushed Saeran and he fell, but mother did not care. His brother’s head was bleeding and she yelled at them. She did not even look at him. Mother was angry because he had dropped the plate and because of that she ended up hurting his brother. It was all his fault in the end. _

_ “I’m sorry.” he cried. “I’m sorry. It was my fault and I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I broke the plate. I didn’t mean to do it, but she got mad. I’m sorry” _

_ “Shhh, Saeyoung…” V sat next to the boy, embracing him and Saeran. “It’s not your fault, don’t say that. It’s over now. Saeran will be fine, we’ll take care of him. He is fine.” _

_ “The cut is not that deep, sweetie.” Rika added, kneeling in front of Saeran in order to take care of him. “You did well in bringing him to us, but you don’t need to worry anymore. It’s not a serious injury, I swear.” _

_ Saeyoung kept crying, never allowing himself to let go of his brother. At the same time, Saeran was scared. He was still terrified of mother pushing him and yelling like that. Her voice continued to ring in his mind, the horrible things she had said to them over a broken plate. Still, he could not remember much. Everything was so blurry after that. One thing was for sure: he was in too much pain. Even if the blonde woman told his brother that it was not serious, it was hurting, hurting, hurting. Besides, Saeran did not know the couple. Saeyoung did. They were the ones that his brother had told him about. The ones that would free them from mother. The boy knew that if his brother trusted them, he should do the same. Saeyoung was always right. _

_ “This will sting a little. I need you to be brave.” the woman said, touching his forehead with a tissue.  _

_ He squirmed, pushing himself back when the burning sensation came to his skin. Saeyoung hugged him tighter, whispering to him that everything would be fine. She proceeded to bandage his head, carefully pushing his hair away. _

_ “Shhh, sweetie. It’s over now.” the woman’s touch was soft, stroking his cheek with the kind of love so unknown, so different from the rough life they carried. “Let me take a look at you too, Saeyoung. You have some ugly bruises too” _

_ Saeran watched the couple. They were being so kind, depicting such a familiar feeling towards his brother, palpable only by the way they looked at them. There was nothing similar to mother’s hatred. It was love. Saeran saw in their soft voices the promise of a better future that Saeyoung talked about so much. _

_ “Have you eaten today?” the man asked. _

_ Saeyoung answered by shaking his head. He tightened the hug around Saeran, making him feel safer in that strange place. _

_ “I’ll take a look at what they have left in the soup kitchen,” the man said, looking at the blonde woman. _

_ “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of them.” she answered, giving him a peck on the lips and turning to the boys, smiling. “So, Saeran… Your brother told us a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you” _

_ He hunched in his brother’s lap, averting his gaze from the woman. _

_ “Saeran is really shy, he doesn’t talk much.” Saeyoung answered for him. “But he’s happy to meet you too.” _

_ His brother always knew what to say. Saeyoung was so smart, so smart, so smart. He nodded, but his head was hurting too much for him to do so. Slowly, the boy closed his eyes, drifting away in his sleep. _

_ Saeran woke up with the woman calling for him and his brother. She stroked their hairs, calling their names. Saeyoung had fallen asleep too, he noticed, as they were lying together on the couch.  _

_ “I had to improvise, so I hope you like it,” the man said, giving them two plates of delicious food.  _

_ Saeran looked at his brother, seeking his approval. _

_ “Thank you, hyung.” Saeyoung smiled, turning to look at Saeran. “You can eat, it’s fine.” _

_ It did not take long for them to finish their food, munching each piece of the sandwich hyung had prepared for them. Every couple of minutes, Saeran caught his brother looking at him, and he always smiled back. Saeran loved, loved, loved Saeyoung so much. _

_ He watched the woman talking on her cellphone. She paced from one side to another, worry stamped over her face. _

_ “No one else can do it? I’m dealing with an emergency, please… Well, I gave them instructions about the venue, who told them to change the place of the ceremony?” she stopped talking, looking at Saeran.  _

_ He didn’t notice that he was staring, that wasn’t polite. Still, she smiled at him, waving at him before turning around and getting back to her call. The boy looked down, feeling his cheeks burn. Saeyoung was too busy to notice, talking to the mint-haired man about the book he was reading, but Saeran couldn’t figure out a way to react to the woman. She had been so kind to him up to that moment. _

_ “V,” the woman called. “I have an emergency at work that I absolutely need to solve. I don’t want to leave them, but-” _

_ “Honey, don’t worry,” he said, pushing her hair away from her face. “I’ll take care of them and take them back home. Go solve what you need, we’ll be fine” _

_ She smiled, kissing him on the lips. Next, she looked at Saeran and his brother, giving both of them a kiss on the head and handing Saeyoung a kit of gaze and ointment for him to treat Saeran’s wounds. Don’t leave, the smaller boy thought, watching her walk away. _

_ “I’ll give you two a ride home, alright?” the mint haired man said, picking up their empty plates. “You’ve slept for more than a couple of hours… you must have been really tired.” _

_ Saeyoung nodded. “Mom was not being very nice last night…” he looked at Saeran, who hunched and lowered his head, leaning up against his brother. “Or even today.” _

_ The man looked down too, letting out a sigh. “I’m happy that you could rest, really. We tried to let you sleep, but I’m worried about your mother.” _

_ “Thank you, hyung. Mom is coming home really late today, but…” Saeyoung looked at Saeran. “The ride will be really great for us.” _

_ “Of course,” the older man smiled. “Come, let’s get to the car.” _

_ Saeran limped as he walked, but Saeyoung was always there to break his fall. He stumbled, his legs still shivering after being forced to remain standing as a punishment. His brother held him close, trying to support him even if they were almost the same height.  _

_ Saeran had never entered a car before, so his jaw dropped when he saw V’s fancy car. The man held the door open for them, helping Saeyoung to buckle Saeran’s seat belt. When he got behind the wheel, the man turned around, looking at them. _

_ “When does your mom get home?” he asked. _

_ “Pretty late.” Saeyoung answered. “Mom yelled something about coming back tomorrow morning… I think she’ll arrive somewhere past midnight, she does that from time to time.” _

_ The man looked forward, staring at the sun that was beginning to set in the sky. _

_ “Well, I believe that we still have time for a little surprise, then.” _

_ Saeran stared out of the window, listening to his brother saying all sorts of things about the city and the buildings as they drove by. The man was silent all the time, allowing the two of them to talk in the back seat.  _

_ When he parked the car, neither of the boy’s knew exactly where they were, but as soon as they stepped outside, Saeyoung opened up a smile. _

_ “Thank you!” he said, looking up to V. “Thank you, hyung. Thank you!” he pulled Saeran by the hand, pointing to the sign in front of the store. “Look, Saeran, it’s an ice cream shop! Hyung is taking us to eat ice cream!” _

_ Saeran smiled, barely feeling the pain in his head anymore. Saeran loved ice cream. _

_ They went inside, listening to V repeatedly telling them to choose any flavor that they liked. Saeyoung chose chocolate, Saeran decided to prove vanilla. Without ever letting go of his brother’s hand, Saeran followed them outside, sitting together with them in the side-walk. He couldn’t stop smiling, eating his ice cream with his brother. His day had been miserable, but suddenly everything seemed to be better, all the pain from before had been turned into delicious ice cream. _

_ “Look here, let me take a picture of the two of you.” V said, picking up the magic box that took photos. _

_ Saeran blushed, not knowing what to do, but soon Saeyoung hugged him from behind, making a “V” with his free hand as his arm crossed over his small brother’s shoulder. Seeing that, Saeran smiled at the camera. He was so happy, so happy, so happy. _

_ Back in the car, they listened to music until they reached the streets of their neighbourhood, too narrow for V’s car to pass through. _

_ “Here you are,” V said, his kind eyes filled with sadness. “Did you take everything, the medicine that Rika gave you?” _

_ “Yes,” Saeyoung answered, helping his brother to come out of the car. _

_ “Did you take the two bowls of food that I prepared for you for dinner time?” he asked. _

_ “Yes,” Saeyoung answered once more, raising the plastic bag containing two disposable bowls. “Thank you so much for today, hyung. I don’t know what we would have done without your help” _

_ He ruffled Saeyoung’s hair, pulling the two boys into a hug. V’s hug was warm, so tender, so calm. Saeran rested his head in the older man’s chest. He seemed so nice, just like Saeyoung had told him. He didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to go back to their home. He wanted to stay in that hug.  _

_ “There is nothing to thank me for.” he murmured. “I wish that I could do more.” He let go of them, seeing that the two children were crying. He wiped the boys’ tears, his soft touch seemed foreign, as an undeserved gift bestowed upon them. “We’ll meet again soon. You’ll see” _

_ “Thank you.” Saeyoung repeated, attempting to smile and ignore the tears falling down his face. “Come, Saeran.” _

_ Saeyoung pulled his brother, but Saeran didn’t want to go back home. He wanted to stay with the nice people from church. Before he could control himself, he held the man’s hand, stopping in his tracks. _

_ “Saeran, let’s go home.” Saeyoung said, looking back at his brother. “Hyung will come to see us other times. Please, let’s-” The older boy’s voice broke, thicker tears streaming down his cheek. “We need to go back home” _

_ Saeran kept looking into V's kinds eyes, as if begging for something that not even him could describe. Slowly, he held V's coat, pulling himself into a hug, feeling his arms wrap arous him as V pulled him closer ans gave him a kiss on the hair.  _

_ “I’ll walk you there.” V said, trying to smile as he conceived the tears forming in his eyes. “Come here, Saeran” he smiled, putting the boy on his back, who immediately hugged his neck, resting his face in the back of V’s head. The man looked to Saeyoung, reaching his hand out to him. “Come. It’s too late for you two to walk alone” _

_ Saeyoung wiped his tears, holding V’s hand tight as they walked towards the old house. They did not say a word, but they did not have to. V’s presence was enough to make the boy’s feel the love and care so foreign to them. His firm grip, carrying them with the attentiveness of the parent they never had seemed to be enough at that moment. In the silence, there was the promise that any of them would never forget, the inaudible promise of a family. _

Saeran opened his eyes, feeling the tears streaming down his cheeks and falling into the pillow. He could feel his body, he could feel himself, for once, where he should be. Saeran Choi was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	31. Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of child abuse

_ Saeyoung stood up slowly, holding his breath as he began to walk towards mother’s mattress. Saeran watched him in silence, hugging his own legs. Mother had been quiet for a few minutes and such an unusual behavior usually meant that she had fallen asleep, but they had to be sure. As the older boy got closer, he leaned forward, trying to catch a glimpse of her closed eyes, her slow breathing, all signaling one thing. Immediately, a smile formed on his face, making his cheeks push up in such an unusual behaviour. _

_ “Mom is asleep,” he whispered, walking back to his twin. “Mom is asleep, Saeran!” _

_ “Mom is asleep!” the younger cheered, watching his twin untie the rope from his leg.  _

_ “I had an idea about what we can do today!” Saeyoung said. “There’s something that I want to show you outside” _

_ The younger boy looked away, hunching against the wall. _

_ “I don’t know, Saeyoung… Mom will be mad if she finds out. I don’t want her to hurt you like last time” _

_ “Hey, don’t you trust me?” he asked, pushing his brother’s bangs off his face. “Look at how much she drank. When she drinks like this, it’s sure that she’ll be asleep for a couple of hours. You don’t need to be scared, come on.” _

_ Saeran held his brother's hand, his faltering steps being measured carefully in order to not disturb mother in any way. He shivered, barely looking at mother as they walked past her in order to reach the door. Without making a sound, they put their shoes on, cautiously unlocking the door and leaving towards the outside world.  _

_ In the rare occasions when Saeran left the house, his first reaction was always to close his eyes, so unfamiliar to the sunlight. Without letting go of his brother, he would slowly open them, trying to absorb every image, every moment before being forced back to the small world of darkness.  _

_ “It feels much better without that smell of alcohol, don’t you think?” Saeyoung pointed out, guiding him through the streets. _

_ “I… I don’t know” Saeran answered. After so many years spent locked inside, he could barely smell it anymore, only when mother got really close or as soon as the liquid spilled on the floor. _

_ “Well, that’s just because you stay in the room all the time, I think you just got used to that.” Saeyoung said. “But ugh, it’s so horrible. I’m never gonna drink in my life” _

_ “Me neither” Saeran answered, following Saeyoug out of the narrow streets of the slum and heading towards the town. “The bottles make people mean and I would never want to be meant to anyone.” _

_ “Yeah” Saeyoung agreed. “It’s bottles of evil juice, we can never drink that” _

_ His brother guided him to a set of stairs in front of a tall building, with an ancient aspect to it. Saeran was told to wait there, and he did. He would never want to get lost from his brother like he did in the park, in the day when they met- No. He wasn’t supposed to remember her. His friend would be safe if she had nothing to do with them.  _

_ “Here, Saeran” Saeyoung said as he got back, giving him an unknown object on a stick. “Try this out” _

_ The thing was wet, slowly dripping blue water by its side. It was melting. Saeran had never seen many things melting, only the ice that sometimes mother dropped on the floor or the snow that sneaked inside their house through the gaps in the window and door. Cautiously, he took a bite, being surprised by the cold feeling and the sweet flavor. He smiled, immediately taking another bite. _

_ “What is this?” he asked, looking at his brother. “It’s so good!” _

_ “It’s called ice cream!” Saeyoung laughed. “I wanted you to prove this, but I couldn’t bring it home because it melts so fast. Hey, eat slowly, you’ll get a brain freeze!” _

_ Saeran laughed, looking at the ice cream in his hand.  _

_ “I’m so happy, Saeyoung! So happy! So happy! It’s so good to have this outside with you!” he looked down, his smile distorting into worry. “I hope we never have to go back home.” _

_ “One day we won’t have.” Saeyoung answered. “We’ll go away and never go back!” _

_ “But mom said that if we run away, father will find us and kill us”  _

_ “I’ll find a way!” his brother said, playfully pushing him to the side.  _

_ Saeran sighed, staring at one small drop of ice cream that had climbed in his hand, slowly sliding down. _

_ “What’s wrong?” Saeyoung asked. _

_ “You’re smarter and stronger than me. You’ll be fine alone. But if I run away from home… I’ll be nothing but a burden” he looked at his twin, his amber eyes filled with tears. _

_ “What are you talking about?” Saeyoung asked, stroking his brother’s hair.  _

_ “Mom said that I’m stupid and useless.” he explained, looking down. “She is always telling me that I’ll die if I come outside. That I’ll… That I’ll die anyways because I’m always sick. I’m a burden to her and she hates me because I make her tired. So, when we live together, I’ll end up being a burden to you too” _

_ “Saeran, look at me.” Saeyoung called. “I want to run away safely because you are with me. If I didn’t have you, I would do all sorts of dangerous and bad things. I’m prone to bad stuff, wicked, the only reason why I’m good is because you are with me” _

_ Saeran held his arm tight, ignoring the tears falling down his face. _

_ “No, hyung! Don’t say that. You’re super-nice” he said. “And awesome too! You’re so brave, running away from mom. I wish I could be brave like you…” _

_ “You are.” Saeyoung answered, wiping his tears. “Remember all the times that you took care of me? That is being brave.” _

_ “Don’t you think that I’m annoying?” Saeran asked. _

_ “Saeran,” Saeyoung called, ignoring his brother’s question. “Promise me one thing? Promise that we won’t change. We’ll stay the way we are, forever. Without thinking that we are wrong because of mom or dad.” _

_ “But I’m a coward. I’m so weak” _

_ “That’s what mom says!” Saeyoung said, turning to face his brother completely. “Wanna know what I think? I think that you are kind and tender.” _

_ “No, I’m not! You’re being too nice!” Saeran said. “I’m weak and stupid. Mom said that I’m the devil. Am I really the devil, hyung?” _

_ “No! Never, Saeran!” Saeyoung got closer to him, looking deep into his eyes. “Don’t trust what mom says. You’re not a coward. You’re not weak. You are kind, and loving, and caring, and so sweet. She can’t take those things away from you. So don’t ever let her change you. Can you promise me that?” _

_ Saeran nodded, unable to react to his brother’s kind words.  _

_ “Here, let’s make a pinky promise!” Saeyoung said, taking his brother’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “Let’s make a promise on this delicious ice cream. Promise that you’ll stay the way you are and won’t let mom change you. Promise that you’ll be generous-Saeran, not selfish-Saeran. Promise that you’ll be kind-Saeran, not angry-Saeran.” _

_ “I promise, Saeyoung.” the younger boy said. “I promise that I’ll never lose myself. I’ll stay kind and tender.” _

_ “No matter what?”  _

_ “No matter what” _

Saeran Choi stared at the ceiling, the bright light made his head hurt. The memories had been coming back for hours, calling for him, asking for permission to enter. He always allowed them. The feeling of being back to himself was stronger than ever, faster than ever. 

“I promise, Saeyoung.” he murmured before drifting back to sleep. “I promise that we’ll never be like our parents”

. . .

Saeran opened his eyes. His head was  _ hurting, hurting, hurting _ , but for the first time in his life he felt that he could move past that. With a grunt, he sat up, looking around the poorly lit room, the white lights shining over his head as the computer screens were turned off. His old bed, too cheap, too raggedy to offer a comfortable night of sleep. Had he never noticed how terribly uncomfortable it was? 

“You’re awake.” he listened to her saying. “Are you Saeran? Or Ray?

Slowly, he lowered his eyes to  _ her _ , her small figure coming closer, towering over him. His bed, abandoned in the corner of the wide room gave him the feeling of helplessness, of being, once more, trapped inside a dark room, belonging only to the abandoned corner where no one ever looked. 

“It appears that you have to wait until morning to return to work, my child”

Watching her talk, he felt his dried throat, his arms shivering with anxiety. She had never been tall, but in all his memories he could only see her over him. Why was that? Admiration? Thankfulness? Fear?

“Take a break and get replenished. There are loads of work waiting for you.” she smiled. “As soon as you get better, you’ll have a lot to do in order to prove that you are still useful. The believers have told me about your  _ episode _ in the basement, but I shall let this go. I’m sure that it won’t repeat itself.

_ She lied to us, _ said the angry one

_ She tortured us,  _ said the scared one.

She had manipulated him. For how long? He did not know. But he remembered. Saeran could, for once, see the memories that had been stolen from him, kept as a dreadful secret that he could never reach. Still, he was scared. He was scared because he had memories of her kindness, of her love, of her motherhood.  _ Did she ever care about us? _ Did she? He could listen to the two voices inside of him, whispering to him at every moment, but for the first time they agreed: they needed to be free.

“Where is MC?” he asked, looking down to his blankets. He couldn’t keep staring at her.

“I expected that you would ask about her. I see that we have Ray with us, quite disappointing, I’ll say. The elixir did not work as expected.” Rika sighed. “She is in the basement, but you are prohibited from seeing her. I don’t need that girl messing up with this little head of yours, you have much important business to focus your attention into.” she smiled. “You shall rest tonight, but tomorrow, as early as possible, you must start working on the RFA server once more. Seven seems to have ceased his activities not long ago and-”

“What if I say no?” he quietly asked, barely a whisper coming out of his mouth.

Still, it was loud enough for her to listen. Rika got quiet, as if absorbing the content of his interruption.

“I’m sorry?” she asked.

“What if I refuse?” he repeated, looking up to her.

Rika did not enjoy when people contradicted her, Saeran knew that. She stared at him, intertwining her fingers.

“You cannot refuse, Ray.” she answered. “You know what happens when you do, don’t make me perform a cleansing ceremony for you too. You are feeling like this simply because that stupid girl has stuffed your head with her corrupted ideas. I’ll put an end to this soon.”

“She showed me everything you took away,” he said, standing up. “My story, my memories, my family, who I am, she helped me get them back.” he lowered his eyes to her. “Why? Noon- Rika, why did you… Why did you do this?”

“I don’t know what sort of nonsense you are blabbering, Ray.” she said, turning her back on him and getting farther, turning back to face him only when his desk was standing apart from them. “If this attitude continues, I won’t have other choice than to make you obey me and force you to cleanse yourself from those nasty ideas. This means punishment, Ray, and suffering for this stupid behavior of yours.”

_ Ray is not stupid.  _ The voices seemed to scream in his mind, the sting in his chest gave him courage to take one step ahead. _ Saeran was not weak _ . He was not weak. He had never been weak.

“Two years. For two years I’ve been suffering because of you.” he said, holding back Ray’s tears that filled his eyes and the anger that made him want to scream. “There was not one second when I was happy. Not as Ray, not as Saeran. I wasn’t. I hated myself for every living second, all I wanted was to simply die!” he lowered his head to breath, the pain in his chest was growing, but he couldn’t stop. She wouldn’t hurt him. Saeran had to be free. “I never had much, Rika, but you took away from me everything that I had. You took away my family twice, you took away everything that I loved to do, you even managed to steal me from myself. So since when? Since when did you use us?” he slammed his hand on the table, unable to control that flame that still lived in him. “Since when?”

“My child…” she said, the sweet,  _ so sweet _ , tone in her voice was unchanged, her kind green eyes beamed over him, but they were changed. When had they changed? Once they gave him comfort, but at that moment all he could receive was fear. “You are only saying those words because that girl made you think like this. See, Ray… This is why I told you that you should never think, you know that you don’t have good ideas when you do.”

“Since when have you been manipulating me and my brother?” he asked, taking another step in her direction. 

“Such harsh words, my child… You are making me sad.” she said, her lips shivering as she wiped a tear from her eye. “I never manipulated you. Never.” her voice became strict, fierce. “All I did was assure your safety. There was no way for you to live together. Children that are born like you two, in darkness, shall never even dream of a life in the outside world. The loving sun would burn you and just like Ikarus, that dared to fly too close to it, you would fall. You had to be separated, this was the best for the two of you. Besides, I knew that you would need special care and Saeyoung always wanted you under his wings. He did not care enough about you to see the treatment that you needed. He and V… Are not like us. They are not like any of us here in magenta. I knew that you would need to grow in a special place. Besides… It was so easy to convince V and your brother that it would be best for him to join the agency, that I see that they never loved you.”

“You made him leave.” Saeran murmured.

“He would receive training to join our cause in the future.” she smiled. “Ray… Saeyoung wouldn’t have left if he loved you. You were just a little nuisance that he had to get rid of, and he did in the first opportunity that he had. But I didn’t. I took care of you, I saved you!”

“You made my brother leave!” Saeran answered. His brother. Saeyoung.  _ Saeyoung.  _ He loved Saeyoung. “You made him… You took him away from me! You… You…”

“Why are you saying this, Ray?” she asked, seeing how puzzled he was. “My child, he hates you. He used you and abandoned you with that horrible woman. Can’t you remember this? How she would beat you every single day, making you cry and throwing all sorts of slurs at you?”

_ Don’t bring her.  _ Saeran took a step back. Not her. Not her.  _ Not her.  _ He tugged his own hair.  _ Don’t talk about mother.  _ Don’t talk about mother. 

“Saeyoung knew that she hated you, and still he abandoned you to die in her hands. How many times did she beat you up?” Rika asked, walking slowly towards him. “Can you even remember? If your brother loved you, would he allow you to stay there? Would he allow you to almost die in her hands, starved and dehydrated until I got you out of there?”

Saeran couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe.  _ Not her. Stop talking about her! _

“I am the only person that ever truly cared about you.” she chuckled triumphant. “I even tried to bring you here earlier, but that woman had to get in my way. At least I ended up setting you free from her.”

Immediately, Saeran stopped. She what?  _ Rika what? _ The flame in his chest, almost completely extinguished, came back, spreading in his body, growing to his mind. She had gotten rid of his mother. 

“What did you do?” he asked, raising his eyes to her. “What… What did you do, Rika?”

The woman took a step back with the expression of someone that, out of excitement, had talked too much. She turned around, her before confident voice now shivering in distress.

“I did what was best for you!” she answered. “It was an accident, of course, but the most wonderful one.” she looked back to him, trying to recompose herself. “I freed you! That woman could never hurt you again after that!”

“You killed her.” Saeran took a step back. “You,  _ you,  _ killed her? I became an orphan because of you?”

“You were always an orphan.” Rika answered, her annoyance beginning to show in between her words. “You never had anyone. Before me, you were all alone. Then, came paradise. Look at you. Who could ever love you? You’re a failure from birth. You’re a coward, a weakling, incapable of doing anything by yourself. But here your darkness will never be a sin. Here we can stay the way we are born! I will never dispose of you like your brother and mother did.”

“This isn’t paradise” he blurted out. “This is a prison. This whole place is hell, that’s what this is.” tha boy pushed his bangs off his face, trying to hold onto his thoughts to run away from her words. “Paradise… Paradise is being with the people you love. It’s being loved back, and being free. I want to be free, not stay here and hide from everyone! And you…” he pointed his finger to her, shaking his head as tears came down his eyes. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You don’t want to take care of anyone. All you want is a bunch of slaves that do everything that you want them to”

“Ray, you are working here in return of a safe life! Don’t you want to be safe?” she asked, redness coming to her cheeks. “Aren’t you happy to be needed here? Step outside if you dare! Do you think that the world needs such a failure like you?”

Saeran stopped, looking at her. The woman that he had admired so deeply, that tenderly rocked him to sleep, that treated his bruises, that stopped his crying. It was painful to confront her, but it was even more to know all she had done to him, to know that each memory was one step of her plan, the manipulation that he had undergone for so long.  _ Are we this worthless? _ Saeran blamed himself for not seeing it before, he hated himself for having ever allowed it to happen. 

The boy stared at Rika’s green eyes, lying eyes that had deceived him for so long. Staring at them, he saw the fear that had lodged in her.  _ She is afraid.  _ She manipulated us.  _ She is hurting people because she is afraid.  _

“Now I can see what you are scared of.” he murmured, without averting his gaze. “You are so afraid of going outside. You are afraid of being abandoned, aren’t you? That is the purpose of all this. A bunch of followers who depend on you and will never leave, because you embed them in your fear.”

“Ray… Who told you this?” she asked in between her teeth.

“Ray and Saeran did.” he answered. “Right here, inside me. They said that you are always heartless with your believers. That you are repeating the heartless things that someone did to you once.” he averted his gaze from her. “Just like Saeran was doing to Myung.”

“I love my believers! Who do you think you are to talk to me like that? Why would I do something that someone once did to me?” She yelled.

“Saeran did something heartless to Myung because he was scared of getting hurt. He was scared of suffering cruelties again. And you,” he looked back at her. “You are afraid of getting hurt too.”

“You are wrong!” screamed. “I’m nothing like them, I’m not abandoning my children like my parents did!” she stared back at him, her eyes sparkling with the same anger that Saeran had seen while growing up, the hatred that came from his mother’s eyes before a beating. “Who are you? You are not Ray! No, no. You should obey me!” she screamed, pushing the pile of folders lying over the table to the floor. “You are my child and you should obey me! You belong to me! I can do whatever I wish to you because I know what is best to you! Or do you want to be expelled from here? There is nothing out there for you, who would want a terrible boy like you?” She looked at him. “I should have brought Saeyoung in and left you to die in that woman’s hands. But I didn’t. I saved you, disobedient child! Your brother… Your brother is much smarter than you, much braver than you! He’s better than you!” her gaze was filled with anger, but Saeran was familiar to that look. “Dare to step outside, Saeran, if this is such a terrible place. Just leave, see if you can manage to survive. If you leave,  _ I guarantee that you’ll die. You can never exist outside.” _

_ Mother slammed the bottle over the counter, making Saeran flinch behind Saeyoung, who squeezed his hand tight. She shouldn’t be back home at that time. It had been just a quick walk to the candy store, they should have been back before her. But they didn’t. That time, mother arrived first. That time, mother knew that they had gone out despite her orders for them never to do so. _

_ “Where were you?” she yelled. “I arrived here and you two were nowhere to be seen. Nowhere. In which part of this little stupid brain of yours did you two think that you could leave this house? Answer me!” _

_ Saeyoung took one step back, pushing his brother too. No words came to them. Mother shouldn’t be home, she shouldn’t. Saeran had been the one that asked for them to go out for a bit and Saeyoung agreed. Mother would be away for so long that time, she wouldn’t be there when they got back.  _

_ “I asked where!” she yelled, pulling Saeyoung by the arm. “Answer me now, you bastard. What did you do? What crap did you do?” _

_ “W-we… I-I took Saeran outside. He d-didn’t want to, but I… I made him come” his brother stuttered, lying to protect Saeran. “I-I just wanted to… I thought that-that h-he would b-be healthier if he got a bit of sunlight.” _

_ Before he finished talking, mother slapped him, throwing him on the floor. Immediately, Saeran ran to his aid, hugging Saeyoung tighter as they cried. Saeran was scared, scared, scared. And mother was yelling, screaming, throwing the bottles and everything was loud, loud, loud. Saeyoung held him close, rocking him back and forth to try calm him down, but he couldn’t calm down. He couldn’t, couldn’t. _

_ “How many times have I told you that you can’t leave this home?” mother yelled, throwing one bottle on the wall. “You two belong here! You belong to me, and this means that you do whatever the fuck I tell you to!” she looked back at them, making the boys flinch. “But you two think that you are so clever, don’t you? You think that you can go running around, leaving this goddamn house that I pay for us, that keeps you two safe from your father. Did you forget what he’ll do to you? He wants to kill you, like the two cockroaches that you are! If he gets you, he’ll fucking kill you, Saeyoung, and your stupid brother. I want to see who will be healthy after that. But you are so clever, aren’t you?” she pulled them by their shirts, forcing them apart from each other. _

_ Saeran cried harder. He wanted his brother. He wanted hyung, his hug, but all he had was mother’s nails hurting his arm. Saeran couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe. She dragged the boys to the door, forcing them to stand in front of it. Saeran tried to reach Saeyoung, but mother pulled him away, making him cry, cry, cry. _

_ “M-mom, please. Saeran is not feeling well…” Saeyoung cried. _

_ “Shut up.” she shook him, making him cry harder. “Aren’t you clever? Don’t you fucking know what’s best for the two of you? Then go. Just leave and go live in the street.” _

_ Saeyoung didn’t move, shivering, unable to raise his eyes from the floor. Mother shook him once more, making him cry harder. _

_ “Come on, Saeyoung. If this home is not good enough for you and your brother, if having food, a blanket, clothes, and all those things that you don’t deserve is not good enough, then just leave.” She yelled.  _

_ The boy shook his head, glancing at Saeran by the corner of his eye.  _

_ “No?” she asked, pulling him closer to her. “Aren’t you so smart? Dare to step outside if this is such a terrible place, and see if you can manage to survive. Go on.” _

_ Once more, the older boy shook his head. _

_ “If you go, I guarantee that you’ll die. You can never exist outside. Children like you live to die in the street like bugs.” _

_ She let go off their arms, backing away into the house.  _

_ “If you decide to stay, you know where your place is.” _

_ Saeyoung stared at the door. He did not have to talk for his brother to know the answer, still, Saeran was afraid. He was afraid that his brother would choose to leave. They had nowhere to go, no one to help them. And father was trying to kill them, they knew that well. Their prison was physical in the shape of the house, but invisible in the shape of a father that they had never seen. Slowly, Saeyoung hugged him, whispering that they would be fine, that it would end fast. Without letting go of him, Saeyoung guided him to their corner, unable to raise their heads to mother, refusing to see the victorious look in her face. They didn’t struggle when she tied their feet to the water pipe, continuing to yell at them as she did so.  _

_ “After I finish up my dinner, I’ll deal with you” she threatened. “What a stupid idea to go outside. You’ll die, stupid children. You’ll just die.” _

Saeran looked down for a few seconds, waiting for the tears to stop.  _ It’s time to leave.  _ It was time to leave. He looked at her.

“Goodbye, Rika.”

He walked past her, opened the door and stepped into the corridor, leaving Rika behind.

. . .

MC tried to sleep. With her back leaning against V’s, she kept opening her eyes, the smallest noise seemed to be enough to startle her. More than once she cried, unable to contact Saeran after that chat. She cried thinking about Saeyoung and the RFA, thinking about grandmother and Areum. 

_ “Be happy.” Areum had said to her when they last saw each other. “Live a happy life for me, alright?” _

MC cried thinking about the future that she would not have, about how the idea of living a happy life with Saeyoung had been nothing more than a dream. Myung did not want to die, especially in that place. And she couldn’t allow herself to have failed in caring for Saeran. She had tried so hard, gone through so much. Still, her friend seemed to be gone. Once more she closed her eyes, promising herself that she would have a good night’s sleep for the last time, but she was once more awakened as the cell was unlocked and from behind she heard a familiar voice calling for her.

“Noona?” 

She sat up, turning around to see Saeran coming inside the cell. Almost crying, she sat up, watching him kneel in front of her. MC’s heart was beating faster, as if trying to escape her chest and leave that doomed place behind. The girl saw her friend, his bleached hair and sad eyes, framed by dark spots that showed his lack of rest and gleaming with shame and remorse. Her instincts told her to hug him, but Myung refrained from doing so. She had to know what he was doing there.

“I’m… I’m not here to hurt you. I’ll never hurt you again.”

Saeran murmured the words, raising his eyes in order to meet hers. His voice was rough, trembling, just as it did when he was a child and would remain days without saying a word. The others were there too, sharing his body and feelings, longing to see noona too.  _ We should take care of her,  _ said the scared one.  _ I hurt her,  _ said the angry one.

“What happened?” she asked, her voice reduced to a faint whisper.

“Lots of things happened.” he answered immediately, looking at her. Saeran felt shame, shame, ashamed. _We hurt her._ The words did not come to him, not even the ones that should be so common during apologies. In his heart, Saeran knew what he had done to her, but he also knew how she had responded to that. Looking in her tender eyes, colored with the color of the earth that gives life to so many sprouts, he felt safe, protected like a lost child who finally finds a known face. Still shivering, he opened his mouth, allowing himself to not speak with his brain, but with his heart. “Noona, you never gave up on me, no matter how much I tormented you. You never allowed me to crush you like I tried to.” he looked in her eyes, his eyes gleaming with tears. “All I did, all I said… It was all because of my own fear. I cursed you dozens of times that your eyes are disgusting because you look like you know a world completely different from mine. When I looked at you, it always felt like I was losing. Even when I tormented you, it never felt like I had beaten you. And I got angrier, so I wanted to torment you even more.” he began crying, holding her hand in his. “You... You’re gentle, but you never fall down. You rebel, but you don’t return your pain to me. You avoided me, but you never gave up on me.” her fingers wrapped around his hand, making him cry harder. “Even now, you won’t give up on me.”

“I imagined that you were being mean to me because of your wounds from the past.” she said, stroking his cheek with her free hand. “I was so worried about you, Saeran. So worried.” 

“You understood me.” he said. “Thank you. Thank you for understanding me.” he placed his other hand over hers. “About those things that I said about you… They are not true at all. But you already know that, don’t you? I said all those cruel things to you because I didn’t want you to realize that... I’m useless. I’ve always been useless.”

He allowed his head to fall forward, staring at her hands, so kind and soft, brushing his own. Saeran could not feel that he deserved that. 

“I said all those terrible things… But in the end, I was the one getting hurt, over and over again. Everything that I told you, it was never meant for you. It was meant for me.” he raised his gaze to her once more, allowing the tears to fall. “Now I see that I was telling them to myself. So no matter how much you tried to guide me to the right path,” he wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks. “your words couldn’t reach me. You were showing me the light, but I was burned by it so many times, that I am scared.” Saeran looked up, trying to stop his crying, he wished to be strong.  _ You can cry near noona,  _ said the scared one.  _ She is kind,  _ said the angry one. “I am scared of being burned once more”

MC hugged him, holding his head against her shoulder. The pair cried, just like they did when they met, as two lost children longing for their family. Lost, stranded in an island that seemed impossible to escape from, holding onto each other as they were the last beacon of hope standing. Myung felt him wrapping his thin arms around her, his tears falling in her shoulder. And Saeran was thankful for her. He was thankful for that hug.

“I feel them inside me. So scared, so angry. Saeran… he can’t just throw away his hatred against the world, at least not in this hell. Ray is so scared too, terrified of this light… he doesn’t want to burn again.” he pushed himself back, pushing her hair behind her ear. “But then, there is this little voice. This faint, tiny sound, that whispers to me that maybe, just maybe… There’s hope. That maybe V didn’t lie to me, that maybe I can meet again with my brother and be happy together with him, just like we used to be. This voice, so weak, is telling me that, maybe, if I ask for your forgiveness and if you by any change forgive me, that I can be happy. This scares me, you see, because I know that I don’t deserve it, but I hope that this is true. My hope… was everything that I ever had and now I see that…” he took a deep breath, sobbing as he tried to speak the words that had never come out from him before. “I see that my hope is the reason why I was cleansed so much, why I was never fit for this place, why I keep remembering all the times that Saeyoung took care of me. It’s all I ever had.”

“It saved you,” Myung whispered, taking his hand once more. “Your hope. It saved you.”

He nodded. “It did. It truly did.” he pulled her hand closer, bringing it near his chest. “and now… I believe that it’s time for us to leave. I can’t stay trapped in this nightmare anymore. I need to follow this light, one last time, and even if it burns me until all that’s left it’s my soul, I need to see what it has prepared for me.”

Myung smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek and making him blush. Saeran loved,  _ loved, loved _ noona so much.

“How are we leaving?” She asked. “You do not seem fine, and V is… well, not in his best shape.” the girl looked at the unconscious man lying on the floor.

“I brought some stuff to help,” he said. “And I may have messed up with the cameras a bit.” 

Saeran dared to smile.  _ Can we? _ He smiled because she was there with him, because she trusted him after everything they had done to her,  _ because we can protect Myung Chae. _

“Can you help him?” Saeran asked. “I just…” he looked at V, feeling the flame inside of him burning. It was hurting, hurting, hurting. “I-I can’t”

“I’ll wake him up. Do your technology thingy and don’t worry about us” MC said, turning towards V.

The girl called his name until he opened his eyes, revealing his slightly faded mint-eyes. He groaned, trying to sit up in order to talk to her.

“Calm down, it’s fine” she whispered. “Saeran is here, he is… He is helping. Let me give you a hand”

“Saeran?” V called as Myung helped him stand, looking at the boy who stared back at him.

Saeran felt his legs tremble.  _ We can’t do this.  _ It was V.  _ He abandoned us.  _ The boy shook his head, lowering his gaze once more to his phone. He would need time, just time. His breathing accelerated.  _ Concentrate, idiot.  _ Saeran shook his head, fixing his thoughts on the program running in his cellphone.  _ We must protect noona. _

“Follow me.” he said, getting out of the cell. 

Wary of their surroundings, Saeran guided them to the back of the basement, towards a less used set of stairs that would lead them to a service hallway on the first floor. He was aware that they were looking for him and soon enough they would know what he had done. Escaping was not an option anymore, it was a matter of life and death. He looked back and saw V struggling to walk.  _ We did this.  _ He knew. He remembered.  _ Stay away from him.  _ Saeran walked back, putting one of V’s arms around his neck. MC would not be able to carry him alone. 

When they reached the top of the stairs, Saeran let go of V in order to check his phone. There were signs of movement in the basement, which meant that they were finding out about their escape. He looked at both sides of the corridor and, deeming it empty, got back to help MC with V. 

“Where are we going?” MC asked.

“To the garden,” Saeran answered. “It’s the only exit. We’ll cross it until we’ve reached the entrance gate.” he gazed ahead and saw a figure turning the corner into the hallway. 

Immediately, Saeran pushed V and MC to a small service hallway on their right, crammed against each other as they heard the steps approaching.  _ They’ll get us.  _ The boy looked at his cellphone in an attempt to connect to some security camera in order to see who that believer was, but before he could do so, an unknown voice sounded through the hallway.

“Finally found you!”

_ Protect noona.  _ As if he had lost control of his body, Saeran turned around, without even glancing at the unidentified believer, and tried to push him backwards to give them time to run away. Before his hands could touch the person, they wrapped their hand in his white shirt’s collar, pressing him against the wall. Myung’s reaction was to go towards him, leaving V standing against the wall, but she was stopped when she saw the gun in the unknown person’s hand.

“Can we all just calm the fuck down?” the man said, quickly pulling the hood away from his head, revealing a young face, covered by brown hair that grew down to his shoulders. “I’m here to help, I’m with Seven!”

“If you are here to help then why the hell are you pointing a gun at me?” MC asked, raising her hands.

“I couldn’t let the two of you make a fuss.” he answered, putting the gun away in his belt and letting go of Saeran, taking a look at him. “Oh God, there are really two of him” he murmured, horrified, as he looked at the boy’s face. 

“Who are you?” MC asked. “Saeran, come here, get away from him.”

Saeran ran near her, ready to act if the man did anything against noona.  _ I could have taken him down. _ He watched the man smile, smugness stamped on his face.

“I’m Vanderwood.” he said, still holding his smile in place.

“Saeyoung’s maid?” Myung asked. 

Vanderwood’s smile faded away immediately. He would expect that after six years of him babysitting that asshole he would get at least the minimum recognition, but all that had happened is that he had gotten reduced to a maid. His consterned moment was interrupted by something said in the walkie talkie attached to his ear. He placed his right hand on the earbud, taking the microphone with the left and starting to talk. 

“What are you laughing about, jerk?” he voiced, annoyed by Seven’s laughter on the other side. “I’ll kill you because of this maid crap”

“Oh my God, you are really with Saeyoung” Myung whispered.

“Of course I am. And I’m here to take you to him, so if you’ll just-”

MC slapped him, her cheeks burning in anger towards that man.

“Why did you do this?” he interjected, placing his free hand in his own cheek, feeling it warm under the touch.

“Who saves people by pointing a gun at them?” she yelled. “What’s the matter with you?”

He stared at her before Saeyoung began talking to him once more, leading him to place his hand in his ear once more.

“I didn’t drop it!... That was your girlfriend slapping me!... Seven, stop laughing you piece of shit!” he looked up to the trio, still talking to Saeyoung. “Look, I have the three of them here, alright? Security camera girl, Seven 2.0 and blind dude with weird hair.” 

“You’re with Saeyoung?” Saeran asked.

_ Hyung? _ Saeyoung was coming for him.  _ Traitor.  _ No. It was Saeyoung.  _ Saeyoung.  _ His brother.  _ He abandoned us.  _ He had come for them.

“Yes, kid.” Vanderwood asked. “And you’re all about to go see him, he’s giving me the safest routes right now.”

“Tell him… Tell him that I’m sending him information about the building” Saeran said, looking down at his phone once more.  _ Hyung is here.  _

Myung helped V stand as they commenced walking, but it did not seem like enough. V was getting weaker and soon, Vanderwood was helping her support him as they crossed the pathway through the dimly lit garden. Even in the low light of the night, the girl noticed how serious Saeran had become, quiet, anxiously looking around as if searching for an unannounced attack that could come. 

“I’ll raise the gate,” he said, heading towards a control panel. “Go ahead, take V. I’m right behind you”

Myung tried to walk as fast as she could, feeling V’s weight dawning upon her. As they reached the gates, she saw Seven’s car parked farther away in the road, between the trees. Over the hood was the familiar ginger figure, with his laptop over his crossed legs. MC smiled. She was saved, she was free. 

As soon as the gate opened, they moved forward and only from a few meters away, she called his name. Saeyoung raised his head, feeling his heart beat faster when he saw MC, the love of his life, coming towards him. She was safe.

He walked towards her, giving her a hug and uncountable kisses on the head.

“I love you. I love you, Myung Chae. I love you.” he whispered, without ever letting go of her.

Saeran watched from the distance. He felt his entire body freeze when he heard his brother’s name.  _ Traitor.  _ No. It was him. It was Saeyoung.  _ He abandoned us.  _ Saeran watched him hugging MC, unable to move until his brother raised eyes, staring straight at him from the distance. 

“Go to the car,” Vanderwood said to MC. “V needs help and I’m not the best person to take care of someone”

“S-sure. We’ll talk in a bit” she said to Saeyoung, glancing back, worried about Saeran’s delay.

Saeran shivered. It was his brother, the person that promised him that they would always be together, never apart.  _ He hates us, doesn’t he?  _ He took a step back, beginning to hear the voices of the believers calling for him.  _ They are coming.  _ Saeran was aware of the consequences of his acts, but he couldn’t move anymore, he couldn’t bring his body to work.

“Saeran?” Saeyoung murmured, walking towards the gate. His brother was taking too long, something was wrong, he could feel it in his chest.

Looking past the iron gate, Vanderwood noticed armed men coming to them and immediately pulled out his own gun.

“Saeyoung, come back!” he yelled, running after the hacker.

_ He’ll abandon us again.  _ No. Saeran moved back once more. He was scared of facing his own brother, terrified of the answers he might get.  _ We were so close. He hates us. He abandoned us. He hates us, hates us, hates us. _ Saeran watched what happened as if he was, suddenly, separated from his own body. He felt his conscience fade, as if the whole world got foggy, and suddenly he was not in control anymore, just for enough time to the angry one to kick the control panel, making the gate fall back down and sealing the only exit of Mint Eye.

“Saeran!” Saeyoung yelled, watching the believers reaching his brother. “Saeran, no!”

He tried to run towards the closed gate, but Vanderwood held him back, looking at the armed men that were running to the gate as well. The older agent dragged the boy to the car, making sure to keep all doors locked so that the others wouldn’t leave as well. Saeyoung fought, pulling his arms away, desperately trying to reach Saeran as he saw his brother’s hair disappear in the shadows of the mansion. Against his will, Vanderwood stuffed him inside the car, taking his place in the driver seat and going away, the bullets fired at them making holes in the back of the car.

“Where’s Saeran?” MC yelled immediately as they took off.

“You bastard!” Saeyoung yelled at Vanderwood. “You stupid fucking bastard, go back! Go back!”

“I can’t go back, they are shooting us!” Vanderwood yelled back, making a dangerous turn to the left.

“I don’t care, my brother is there! Turn this shit back now!” Saeyoung screamed. “Vanderwood, turn this car back!”

“I can’t!” Vanderwood yelled. “I can’t because we have one civillian girl and one seriously injured man with us in the car. I know that’s your brother and you are fucking distressed, but crap Seven! Use your brain for this, we don’t need to get emotional right now!”

“How am I supposed not to?” the ginger boy answered, listening to MC cry in the background. “It’s my brother.”

“I know he is!” Vanderwood said. “I know. We’ll go back and get him, but first there’s people who need emergencial care. So shut the fuck up and deal with this fucking situation like an adult. We’ll go to the cabin, we’ll make another plan and we’ll strike back. If we go there right now you’ll end up getting all of us killed. So shut up, Seven. I don’t want to hear a word from you right now.”

Saeyoung hid his face on his hands. He had failed. Once more, he had failed Saeran. Once more, he had left his brother behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, what a journey until we got here! I'm thrilled to get to this point in the fic and I can't wait for you guys to read everything that's about to come. 
> 
> Also, Vanderwood is a mood. I call him Vandermood
> 
> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	32. Friends

_ Saeran walked through the garden that afternoon, the new pants rolled up to his knees and the new shoes hyung and noona had given him tied firmly in his feet. He smiled as he sat on the grass, only a few meters away from the front door. Hyung had told him many times that he was free to walk around the entire property, but the truth was that he was still afraid of doing so. Hyung and noona had been too kind by allowing him to stay there with them, but Saeran could not stop thinking about mother’s endless speeches about how unworthy he and his brother were of comfort. He had never seen so much food in his life, or warmth, or any care that didn’t come from Saeyoung.  _

_ The boy sat on the grass, watching the flowers and drawing on the sketchbook noona had given him. Saeran had discovered that he loved, loved, loved drawing, and drawing plants was one of his favorite things to do. He smiled as he took his pencil, making notes about the daisy that he had been observing for the past week, hoping that it would bloom soon.  _

_ Suddenly, he saw a car approaching through the driveway, coming to a stop in a parking spot right in front of the house. As a reflex, the boy stood up. He did not know that hyung and noona were waiting for visitors, nor did he know if he could be seen by any visitors. At home, mother would tell him and Saeyoung to stay inside her closet whenever the man that checked the gas came, could this be a similar situation? Should he hide? While he wondered, he saw a man in a suit leaving the car, carrying a package, but the boy did not pay attention to that. It was a man in a black suit, just like the ones that worked for his father and tried to kill him and Saeyoung so many times. He watched in silence as the man turned around, spotting him in between the bushes. _

_ “Hello.” the man said, with a confused expression. “Are you… Rika’s relative?” _

_ WIthout second thought, the boy ran inside, calling for hyung and noona, warning them that father’s men were there to take him away. He shivered in the living room, hidden in noona’s hug as hyung went out to investigate, despite his pleas for him not to do so. _

_ “Jumin?” he heard V call. “What are you doing here?” _

_ “I came to bring you this Chateau Latour that arrived at the office today, but I believe that I have… Well… Who’s the teenager that ran away?” he heard the unknown man say. He did not sound menacing, Saeran thought, besides, he was not hurting hyung. _

_ “That’s Jumin, Saeran” noona said, getting up from the couch. “He’s our friend, it’s fine. You don’t need to be scared. Come meet him.”  _

_ She began to walk towards the door and Saeran followed. He did not want to meet anyone. He didn’t, he didn’t. He wanted to see the flowers and stay away from strangers that could be mean like mother. From behind the door frame, he watched noona complimenting Jumin and the three of them having a conversation, lowering their tones just like hyung and noona did when they talked about things that they did not want Saeran to listen to. He saw hyung turn around, the three adults facing him, making him hide even more behind the frame.  _

_ “This is our friend Jumin, Saeran. You don’t need to be scared. Why don’t you come say hi?” hyung asked, but everything that Saeran could do was look down and wave to him. He heard V chuckle, turning back to Jumin. “He is a bit shy, it’s nothing personal. Come in, Jumin, please. I’ll tell you everything once we are inside.” _

_ Jumin followed him, watching from far away as the boy got further from them, settling in the kitchen with Rika and helping her prepare the tea. While V tried to elucidate his many questions, telling him about the church children that they had been taking care of and how they had become their legal guardians, Jumin’s eyes traveled from his friends to the teenager that seemed terrified of him. _

_ “I’m sorry for not telling you before,” V said, signaling for Jumin to take a seat in the living room. “It’s been only a couple of weeks and the situation is truly complicated regarding the boys, we are keeping it a secret because of that.” _

_ “I am just surprised, Jihyun” Jumin answered, glancing at the ginger boy who was helping Rika to prepare some tea. “You are… young. Besides, you are not even married, I did not know that the legal system allowed unmarried couples to-” _

_ “As I said, it is a complicated situation. I can’t give you many details, I’m sorry” _

_ Jumin laid back in the chair, staring at his friend. It had never been a practice for the two of them to keep secrets from each other. He had been aware for a long time of his friends’ matters in church, but to bring home the two children they had been protecting for the past years seemed like a dire move.  _

_ “Your secrets are safe, you know that I am someone that deeply favors discretion.” Jumin answered.  _

_ “Hyung,” the boy called, bringing a jar of chocolate cookies to the coffee table. “Noona says that she is making green tea, is that fine?” _

_ “Of course!” V answered, standing up and hiding the bottle of wine behind his back. “I’m just going to put away the gift Jumin brought to us and I’ll be right back. Excuse me for one second, Jumin.” _

_ When V left, Jumin turned his gaze to the boy. Jumin had never been gifted with talking to children, not even when he was one. Of course that the boy was not a child, he was sixteen years old already, but the businessman knew that they would hardly have any interests in common to be discussed. Because of that, he watched in silence as the boy grabbed a handful of cookies and, without raising his head, sat in one of the arm chairs as farther away from Jumin, writing in a thick sketchbook. _

_ “So, you are Saeran, right?” Jumin attempted to initiate conversation. “I’m V’s childhood friend, Jumin.” _

_ The boy raised his eyes to him, looking at him in intense curiosity, but did not say a word. _

_ “I apologize for scaring you before, it was not my intention. Are you drawing?” Jumin asked, pointing to the sketchbook.  _

_ Without talking, the boy stood up, walking towards Jumin and giving him the notebook. The businessman could not avoid noticing how low the boy kept his head, almost as if afraid of him. Still, he looked down at the pages and saw a number of drawings and notes about botanics. _

_ “This is impressive,” Jumin said, turning the pages in amazement. “Your drawings are very detailed, as well as your notes. Are you studying about those in school?” _

_ “I just… like plants a lot,” the boy’s weak voice said, but he opened a smile after being praised. “I’m making a journal about them” _

_ “Well, you are truly gifted.” Jumin complimented him, giving him the sketchbook back. _

_ “I’m sorry, sir, but… what is ‘gifted’?” Saeran asked. _

_ Jumin felt unable to comprehend how a boy of his age, so polite, could not know what gifted meant. _

_ “It means to have an exceptional talent.” Jumin answered. “For how long have you been living with V and Rika?” _

_ “A little over two weeks.” The boy immediately answered.  _

_ “So you and your brother are the ones that they were taking care of in church. I have heard many things about you.” _

_ “I’m sorry sir, but I believe that you’ve heard more about my brother and I can’t talk much about that. It’s private” he lowered his head again, with one of his hands holding tight his other arm. _

_ “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Jumin said. “Is your brother joining us today?” _

_ “No, sir. He’s studying abroad.” Saeran answered immediately. _

_ “I see… Are you the younger, then?” _

_ “Well, yes, sir, but we are twins,” he answered. _

_ “Saeran, can you help me here?” Rika called.  _

_ “Of course, noona!” Saeran answered, turning around to look at her. When he did so, Jumin saw a fading bruise near his eye, noticing as well a cut in his lips almost completely healed. The young man froze upon imagining what had happened to the boy. Turning back to Jumin he continued "Excuse-me, sir.” the boy bowed. _

_ “There is no need for you to call me ‘sir’. Really” Jumin said. _

_ “Oh, sorry” the boy chuckled. “Excuse me, Jumin-hyung” _

_ Something about Saeran made Jumin smile, even if he did not know what exactly. He knew that there were many secrets that his friend was not telling, but if taking care of the boy was going to make his friends happy, he would offer entire support. Part of him wanted to ask about Rika’s mental health, if she was fine enough to take care of a teenager that - it did not take long for him to notice - required special care. Still, he refrained from those questions. It would not be polite, besides, he and V had already had some discussions regarding some of Rika’s behavior, it would not be worth it to keep talking about the matter. _

_ Afternoon dragged itself and Jumin stayed for dinner. He saw how close the child had grown to Rika, keeping her company and helping her in the kitchen. This made him smile. Perhaps he would give her further help with her health.  _

_ “If you don’t mind, Jumin, we are not drinking any alcoholic beverages in the moment.” V told him. “Saeran has… Well, he truly doesn’t like the smell. It’s complicated.” _

_ “Don’t worry,” Jumin answered. “Whatever makes the three of you comfortable. _

_ The boy was just as quiet during dinner than he was in the afternoon. The only times he made a sound was whenever a strong cough fell over him. _

_ “Sorry,” he said, after coughing for the third time. _

_ “You don’t need to apologize.” Rika said. “Come closer, let me take a look at you” she touched the boy’s forehead, moving her hand down his chin. “It seems that you have a fever again, sweetheart. Go rest after eating, okay?” _

_ The boy nodded, covering his mouth in order to stop another cough. _

_ “With all this secrecy, have you managed to take him to a doctor?” Jumin asked. _

_ “Not yet,” Rika answered. “There are some things that do not allow us to take him to a clinic” _

_ “I’ll give you the contact of my personal doctor. He’s been taking care of my family for years now. He is very discreet, so you do not need to worry about anything” _

_ “Thank you, Jumin” V smiled. “We appreciate that” _

_ Saeran stood up, walking towards the jar of juice that was over the counter in order to fill his glass. _

_ “Saeran, can you bring the jar here? I thought that it wouldn’t fit over the table, but there’s some room left” Rika asked. _

_ “Sure.” the boy answered, picking it up with both of his hands.  _

_ It was heavy for him, but Saeran imagined that he would be able to carry it without a problem. However, while he walked the short distance between the counter and the table, the boy felt dizzy and as if his legs gave up, he tripped in his own feet and fell on the floor. Everything happened too fast. At one second, he was standing with the juice, on the other he had his knees on the floor, surrounded by pomegranate juice and glass shards. He wasn’t bleeding, he wasn’t hurt, but he felt his face burn, his breathing accelerate because he had messed everything up. Useless, useless, useless. Saeran couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, almost listening to her yelling, screaming, shouting at him because of how much of an idiot, idiot, idiot he was. _

_ “I-I’m sorry,” he immediately cried. _

_ “Are you alright?” Jumin asked, crouching by his side, trying to help him stand. _

_ Saeran saw the man’s hand and remembered of her. He messed up, messes up, messed up. _

_ “No, I’m sorry!” he said, backing away from the man. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” _

_ V-hyung hugged him, bringing him close to his chest. He couldn’t listen to hyung, mother was yelling, yelling, yelling so much that he couldn’t listen, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t feel. Noona talked to Jumin, but by then hyung was taking him to his room. Saeran messed up, messed up, messed up and because of that he cried, cried, cried. Hyung rocked him back and forth, giving him small kisses on the head as they sat on the bed among Saeran’s stuffed toys. He liked stuffed toys because they were soft and they calmed him, calmed him, calmed him.  _

_ Hyung asked him if he wanted to go back downstairs and he said no. He messed up. Jumin would be angry, angry, angry, just like mom was because he could never do anything right. Still, Saeran lied to hyung that he was fine. He didn't want to be a nuisance to everyone. For the next hour he laid in bed, hugging his pink octopus and going to the special place in his mind where he would always escape to. Mother could never yell there. _

_ Because of that, he couldn’t notice how much time had passed when someone knocked on the door. The boy opened his eyes, looking as the door opened up, revealing hyung and Jumin. _

_ “Hey, Saeran” Jumin smiled. “May I come in? I’m leaving and I wanted to say goodbye to you.” _

_ The boy nodded, hugging his own legs, as if trying to occupy less space over the bed. _

_ “I was worried. Did you get hurt?” the older men asked. _

_ “No.” Saeran answered. “I’m sorry for making a mess.” _

_ “It wasn’t a mess, there is nothing for you to worry about.” Jumin smiled once more. “Have a good evening, Saeran. And keep working on that journal. I’d be delighted to see it when I visit again” _

_ Even after leaving V’s house, Jumin could not refrain thinking about the new experiences his friends were going through. They were taking care of a child, afterall. And a very peculiar one. It was undeniable that the boy was fighting inner demons that Jumin could not even imagine, but at the same time he could see the livelihood and potential in such a young boy.  _

_ Two days had passed since Jumin’s visit and Saeran’s condition had worsened since then. He had spent the past two days playing video games in bed, unable to get out because of the flu he had contracted. _

_ “Something arrived for you today, Saeran!” V said, placing the gift package on the boy’s hands.  _

_ “For me?” the boy asked, looking at the package. “From who?” _

_ “Jumin sent it to you.” V smiled. “Remember that I had lunch with him today? He asked me to give it to you.” _

_ V watched the boy rip the wrapping as he sat on the edge of the bed. Saeran’s face lit up upon the sight of the gift, the “Illustrated Botanics Enciclopedia”. It was filled with drawings and information about all sorts of plants around the globe, hardcover, with the author’s signature on the first page. _

_ “Can I call him to say thank you?” Saeran asked, taking the phone that V was reaching towards him. “Hello, mr. Jumin?” _

_ “Hello, Saeran. How are you today?” he asked. _

_ “I’m… I’m fine. Thank you so much for the gift” the boy said, smiling. “I loved it” _

_ “That is good to know,” Jumin answered. “I gave this to you because I believe in your potential and I know that, if you wish to, you can achieve anything you wish.” he smiled. _

_ “Thank you, hyung” the boy chuckled, a few tears streaming down his cheeks. “Thank you” _

. . .

Jumin paced around his office, worrying about the lack of information from the legal team regarding Zen’s case. Through the day he had studied every law regarding the prosecution, as well as many different articles about it’s behaviour and actions throughout the country. In his head it was clear that what was happening to Zen was a direct attack to the RFA, as he knew that the actor had no illegal issues that could provoke such a legal action to be taken against him. Jumin turned around, staring at the other side of the room, and said:

“Yoosung, even though I told you that you were welcome to stay in my room, I shall ask you once more to stop tapping on the table. I can’t think with this noise”

The younger boy sighed, placing his own hands in his lap. Jumin admired Zen for his ability in watching over Yoosung, only one afternoon was already enough to take him out of his mind. Initially it was the talking - Jumin had never acknowledged how much Yoosung talked -, later on he began to “take a look” at Jumin’s books, making the director mad upon seeing all his limited edition books scattered through the floor, and by then he had begun with the annoying habit of tapping on the desk. 

“I’m worried about Zen!” Yoosung said. “It’s been hours since the last update. The lawyers didn’t tell you anything else?”

“Not a word. If they had said something, Ms. Kang would have given us the news.” answered Jumin, sitting in the chair in front of Yoosung. “Be patient, the lawyers truly sounded optimistic, I was not making this up when I talked to you before. Tea?” he offered, pouring himself a warm cup of the liquid.

Yoosung nodded, watching Jumin give him the cup. 

“Besides, seeing Assistant Kang walking over the office right now, I believe that we shall receive new updates shortly.” Jumin continued, signaling the door with his head.

Yoosung looked back and, through the glass walls, he saw Jaehee-noona hurrying towards Jumin office, apologizing to the other employees as they moved away to give her passage. 

“Good evening, Ms. Kang, may I interest you in a cup of tea?” Jumin asked, standing up and walking towards the walls in order to lower the blinds, making the room private for the three RFA members. 

“Yes, thank you, sir.” she politely answered, turning to face Yoosung. “How are you feeling, Yoosung?”

“Well, kinda nervous and feeling like I’ll throw up, but at least Jumin-hyung allowed me to give a makeover to his shelf” he smiled, pointing to the shelf that he had reorganized, shifting from Jumin’s boring alphabetical order to a much more sophisticated color coded organization.

“Oh dear God.” Jaehee murmured, turning to look at her boss' unamused expression.

“Yes, Yoosung thought that… I don’t even know” he shook his head. “Ms, Kang, please. Take a seat.” he said, pointing to the chair at Yoosung’s side. “Do you bring us any news about Zen?”

“Yes, sir.” Jaehee nodded, taking the cup of tea in her hands. “I have just spoken to Ji-woo, from the legal department, and she has informed me that Zen is with her and they are heading to C&R as we speak. It won’t be long before he arrives”

Jumin nodded, raising his hand to his chin, thinking. The avalanche of thoughts that permeated his mind seemed to be blurring each other, as if his brain was unable to choose in which one to focus first.

“Jumin… Do you really think that the prime minister did it?” Yoosung asked. “I know that Saeyoung asked us not to talk about this unless we have to, but… It’s so weird. I keep thinking and Zen could never have done something so serious that he would be a suspect for the prosecution. You know that, right?”

“I know.” Jumin answered, leaning forward to face Yoosung. “Our legal team has scanned through his life. It is undeniable that Zen has had some police records for minor infractions when he was younger, but none of them make an action by the prosecution justifiable. This is an attack directed to the RFA, perhaps as an excuse to meddle with our devices and try to find information about Saeyoung, or simply a threat to our integrity in order to make us give them Saeyoung. In any way, this is a serious action and will not remain unresolved.”

“Could this be related to Rika too?” Yoosung asked.

Silence fell over the room. Jumin had not had enough time to thoroughly think about the video of Rika. In fact, he did not allow himself to think about that video too much. It was too painful, too hard to fathom the idea that his friend had been able to do such terrible things. Still, he was aware that Yoosung was suffering upon the reveal, even if the boy had barely spoken about the subject before.

“What do you mean?” Jumin asked.

“This investigation. Could they be investigating that cult and reached us because of Rika?”

“I don’t know, Yoosung. It is a possibility considering that she is in command of the cult in question. Still, I think that based on all the information we have from Saeyoung and the Prime Minister approaching V in that weird manner, it is a higher possibility that this is his personal doing.”

“About Rika… Do you think that there is a chance that she is being forced to do this?” Yoosung quietly asked, lowering his eyes to the desk. “It’s just that… I don’t know, someone could have forced her to say that stuff and… And this person could be keeping her locked in.” he raised his teary eyes to Jumin. “Can’t this be a possibility, hyung?”

Jaehee took a deep breath, holding Yoosung’s hand. 

“I’m sorry, Yoosung, but as far as we can think, the chances for something like you are saying are extremely remote.” Jaehee said. “What it seems is that she has been living a double life, we can’t make any more assumptions than that.”

Yoosung lowered his head. It pained him to ever think about Rika. At first, it was thanks to the grief of her loss, but at that moment it was the feeling of deceit and betrayal that made it impossible for him to keep revisiting the memories of his beloved cousin. Had it all been a lie? Had she always been pretending? Yoosung opened his mouth once more in order to talk, but he was interrupted by knocking on the door, followed by:

“Good evening, son. Working late?” 

Jumin and Jaehee stood up, Yoosung followed. He had never met Jumin’s father, but it was known that he was a respectable man. Jumin was not expecting to receive such a late visit from his father, especially at a time when he was responsible for conducting a hidden department inside the company. He was bowing to greet his father when the reason of his father’s visit became clearer as he saw Mr. Kim walk in too, accompanied by the prime minister Saejoong Choi.

“Good evening, father.” he bowed, “Mr. Kim. Prime Minister, sir. It is quite a surprise to see you this evening. May I be of any help?”

“Mr. Kim and I had the opportunity of meeting with Mr. Choi in the reception after your meeting with him a few days ago. As you know, he is a businessman as well as our Prime Minister and we believe that we can make some business with him, you see.” Mr. Han smiled, looking at the other members of the RFA. “I must admit that I did not expect to see you here this late, are you… working?”

“Sorry, father. Where are my manners?” he forced himself to smile, worriedly glancing at the prime minister. “We are having a small meeting about some preparations for the next RFA party. Ms. Kang, who you already know, and Yoosung Kim, one of our members, were helping me with some guest decisions. Ms. Kang, Yoosung, these are Mr. Han, my father, Mr. Kim, Jihyun’s father, and Mr. Saejoong Choi, the prime minister, as you know well. 

“Good evening. It’s a pleasure.” Jahee bowed.

“Yes, it is… a pleasure” Yoosung followed.

Mr. Han smiled once more, turning to Jumin. 

“I am glad to see you here. When we were talking, Mr. Choi told us about a commendation that he has offered to this charity group of yours, but received no answer…”

“I do not mean to bother you with this right now.” the prime minister smiled. “It was just something that came to my head in the middle of conversation, I know that you must be extremely busy with other matters.” he fixed his already perfectly straight tie, looking at Yoosung and Jaehee. “But I must say that it is an honor to meet other members of the RFA. Such a group gives me hope about our youth and your hard work towards a better future to our nation.”

“Thank you for the inspiring words,” Jumin said, putting himself directly in front of the other two, slightly pushing Yoosung to his back. “It is our pleasure to serve the nation with everything that we can. In fact, I believe that the reason why V has politely declined this commendation is that we never required recognition in any way. We believe that it would be the wish of our deceased founder to be remembered by our doings and the legacy that we leave in the world, not by our names.”

“It is a beautiful line of thought, but in practice it is unworthy to work for something if it won’t bring you any profit.” Mr. Kim pointed out. “I thought that my son would at least follow an clever line of thought in this matter, that’s the minimum expected when we talk about the leader of a group. It is not bright to have an artist leading a group like yours.”

“V is a brilliant leader.” Yoosung blurted out, sending him an angry look. “He is carrying on RFA in the exact way that my cousin would want it to be led. We all agree with his decision”

Silence fell over the room once more after the unexpected participation of the youngest member of the group. Discomfort was palpable, but for the first time in his life Jumin had no wish of breaking it so soon. 

“Well,” Mr. Han cleared his throat. “At least consider what the prime minister has offered, son. It will be a great benefit for all of you.”

“Yes.” the prime minister turned his lifeless smile on once more. “It shall benefit all seven members of your group”

“Our group only has six people.” Jumin interjected. “The three of us, another friend that could not be present, V, and a girl that works with us remotely and is still in training.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I believed that you had another one or two, a couple of ginger boys, something like this.” the prime minister hinted, looking at his clock pretending to check the time.

“No” Jumin’s answer was as dry as the desert sand. Even his patience was running out, and usually he had a lot of it. “We have correctly counted all of our members, sir. Besides, I believe that I would remember if I ever saw someone with ginger hair in Korea.”

“Of course, of course” the prime minister forced himself to laugh. “And this friend of yours that couldn’t come… why is that?”

Yoosung tried to take a step forward, but Jaehee held him by his hoodie, pulling him back before taking a step forward and saying:

“He has had some personal issues, but he will join us shortly, sir.”

“I see…” he said, without letting go of the smile formed in his lips. 

“Where is Jihyun, Jumin?” Mr. Kim asked. “I thought that he would be here as a leader.”

“Oh, he…” Jumin felt like he could not make up anything.

“He is on a trip,” Yoosung immediately answered. “He went to a really remote place. In the mountains, you know… The buddhist monks in the mountains wanted to see his pictures and he went there” Yoosung let out a nervous laugh.

“Isn’t Jihyun a catholic now?” Mr. Kim asked.

“Yes, he is.” Yossung, scratched the back of his head. “They are… catholic monks. Catholic buddhist monks in the mountains, you know, those crazy new religions these days.”

“Oh God…” Jaehee said under her breath.

“He’ll be back soon. It was an old appointment and Jihyun is a man of his word.” Jumin completed. “We are just waiting for this friend of ours in order for us to wrap everything up. We’re all very tired after a day of work” once more, he forced himself to smile. 

Jumin found it funny how a dangerous conversation, with a man that was trying to murder two boys so dear to him, could be so similar to a business discussion. Smile, hide your true interests, take control of the situation. It did not matter that all that Jumin wanted to do was tell the three men to immediately leave his office and later on explain to his father the reason why. Things could never be like that as he knew that, even with his father, the conversations were still similar to business. Therefore, he hoped to receive the proper response from one of them after the cue, as he knew that he would. They were all businessmen there.

“We won’t hold you for long, then” his father chuckled. “I’ll give you a call later. Goodbye, son. Ms. Kang, Yoosung Kim.”

“Have a good evening. Excuse me, please.” Mr. Kim cordially smiled. 

“Farewell.” the prime minister said, stopping at the door and turning back to them. “I hope that your friend can solve his personal issues soon and can be here with you in no time” he smiled before entering the hallway.

For one second, they were in silence. That was the time that took Yoosung to begin talking. 

“That son of a-”

“Language!” Jaehee exclaimed.

“Can you believe what that jerk has just said?” Yoosung asked. “He is not even trying to hide it anymore. He totally is behind this.”

“Mr. Han.” Jaehee called. “How do we proceed?”

Jumin lowered his head, taking one minute to think.

“Is the intelligence unit still a complete secret within the company?” he asked, without looking at her.

“Yes, sir. We even paid the employees extra to assure their description.” she answered.

“Good.” Jumin said, turning to face them. “For now, we must act within our own limitations, continue working with the unit as we already are. When Saeyoung contacts us again after rescuing Myung, Saeran and Jihyun, we shall discuss other strategies to fight the prime minister. One thing is sure: he won’t give up on this easily.”

Jumin stood next to the window, looking at the view of the city. He had to be strong in front of the others, but within his chest he held the secret that would never come out of his lips. Jumin Han was utterly afraid.

. . .

The drive to the hideout was quiet. After the initial screaming, not one word was said inside of the car. The four people within could not say anything after the apparent failure in their escape. Myung was trying to focus on taking care of V, who was almost completely unconscious, trying to hold back her impulse of unlocking the car and going back to Mint Eye to take Saeran away. Vanderwood kept his eyes fixed on the road, prohibiting himself from thinking about anything else. Saeyoung was the most silent of them all, looking out of the window. He wiped the tears, hoping that they would cease to fall from his eyes, but they always came back, bringing with them more sorrow and regret than before. 

When the car came to a stop, there was one second of silence before Vanderwood got out. He opened Myung’s door and helped her to take V out of the car. While he did so, Saeyoung opened his door, throwing his legs out and pulling himself up. He waited for Vanderwood to let go of V and Myung begin to carry him back to the house before saying:

“They are safe, let’s go back now”

Vanderwood turned back to face him, utterly annoyed by the boy’s attitude.

“Are you kidding me?” the older agent asked. “Are you dumb or what? We’ll die if we go back now! What part of ‘making a plan’ did you not get?”

“I don’t care about a plan, that’s my brother, Vanderwood! I’m not leaving him there so that Rika can do whatever the hell she did to him in the first place! So just give me the damn keys and I’ll go back myself!” 

Saeyoung tried to advance towards him, attempting to take the keys from his hands.

“See, this is why in the agency we couldn’t have people that were dear to us!” Vanderwood said, pushing him back. “You get dumb when you get emotional. This may not be a mission like the ones we did.” he pushed Saeyoung back once more, throwing him on the ground. “But this is just as important, even more. So get your fucking mind straight so that we can solve this problem for once.”

Saeyoung took a deep breath, still on the floor. He felt sick, remorse eating him from inside after abandoning his brother like that. If Vanderwood hadn’t held him back, he would have gotten to Saeran before those people. He knew that. And Vanderwood’s words made him even angrier, as if he was wrong for worrying about his own brother.

“You are a jerk, Vanderwood, did you know that?” Saeyoung said, raising his eyes to him. “It’s so easy to you, isn’t it? Avoid your feelings, ignore everyone around you and treat every single person like a piece of shit because all you need is yourself.” he stood up, adjusting his coat over his body. “For six years I heard this little speech of yours and you know what? I’m done! Congratulations if you can be like that, but I can’t. Thinking about my brother and taking care of him is what kept me alive for all those years, so fuck your stupid annalogies and go to hell!” he yelled. “Saeran is the most important person in my life and I am allowed of being stupid if it means saving my brother. If you want to continue being a jerk completely devoid of feelings, so be it, but stop telling me to be just like you.”

Vanderwood took a deep breath, taking a long look at the boy. 

“Do you know what they told me before I began to train you?” he asked. 

“What? Take care of him and we’ll pay you good money?” Saeyoung scoffed.

“No, they told me ‘train him. If he shows that he’s not worth it, make sure to put a bullet in his head before we have to clean up the mess.’” Vanderwood watched Seven’s expression change, but it did not matter. Things needed to be said. “I’ve killed my range of people, but one thing that I never did was killing a child. And there I was. If you weren’t good enough for the bosses, I was the one responsible for disposing of you. Do you get this, Seven? Before I even met you, they told me that I would be the one to kill you as soon as you messed up. All the nights that we have spent awake for you to learn programming well, all the physical training, every talk, every scolding, everything that I did was because I didn’t want you to die!” He yelled back. “Crap, Seven. You’re brilliant. I’ve never seen someone so smart. You’re so mischievous that you were able to fool your own bosses over and over again in order to live two lives. You had something that I never had: you managed to have a family, despite all the odds, despite the danger of it. But the only reason that you are still breathing is because of me. If you are breathing today, it’s because I allowed you to. I allowed you to be here. So don’t say that I don’t have feelings.” he shivered, feeling his eyes fill with tears. “If you had to hide your emotions, I had to do it for both of us. If you had to run and save Myung from the apartment, I had to fix your mess and cover up for you because I knew what the bosses would tell me to do. I knew that, soon or later, my phone would ring and they would tell me to put you out.” he pointed his finger to Saeyoung. “I received this order, Seven. I told you this, but maybe you weren’t listening. They told me to kill you. Why do you think that I didn’t? Why do you think that I came to help you? What do you think that kept me in that stupid agency?” he got closer to Saeyoung, softening his tone. “I was miserable all my life. I hated being alive, I absolutely hated it. But then, you came, and I saw myself in you. I saw a scared boy that had to take a terrible path because that was the only way out from his horrific reality. And I knew where it could take you without guidance. Before you, I was just trying to survive by being in the agency, but afterwards, you became who I had to protect. You are like a smaller brother to me… And if I tell you those things, it’s because I must put some reason inside your stupid head.” he said, delivering a slap int he back of Saeyoung’s head.

“Ouch,” Saeyoung cried. “This reason did hurt”

“Well, it does most times.” Venderwood scoffed, softening his tone. “What I mean is: if you want to save him, we need a good plan. Tomorrow we’ll be there, rescuing Saeran. But tonight we have to make sure that V doesn’t die. And you should spend some time with your girlfriend, the girl is distressed as hell. Do you get it?” he asked. “Your brother could not be reached, they would have shot you dead before you could even reach the gates. Think about it now, just… Just think about it.”

Saeyoung nodded, looking down. In all those years, he had never imagined that Vanderwood could have such feelings, but looking back, it made complete sense. For Saeyoung, Vanderwood had been one of the few people in whom he trusted. Like an older brother, he had gotten Saeyoung’s back at all times, even when it meant to face their bosses or even the other agents. Without a second thought, Saeyoung wrapped his arms around Vanderwood, pulling him into a hug. 

“Hey, calm down. Hey.” Vanderwood laughed, patting his back. “Come on, kid, I’m not the hugging type.”

“Yeah, I know” Saeyoung murmured, tightening his hug even more.

Even as he said so, Vanderwood hugged him back, placing his hand on the back of the boy’s head. 

. . .

_ Vanderwood shivered, striving to keep the fire up in order to provide some heat for them. By the time, they were completing six hours of hiding in the cave, with no signal to send the call for help. He knew that they had sent them on that mission to test the boy’s abilities, but the fifteen year old had done more than enough to prove himself before being shot. They had retrieved the information and Vanderwood never felt as much satisfaction from getting rid of a scumbag like he did when he threw that knife at the shooter that hit Seven, but it would all be in vain if he couldn’t send the distress signal soon.  _

_ He looked at the boy that was lying on the floor near him. His ginger hair was covered in sweat, whimpering softly because of the pain. Vanderwood had taken care of his first aid, but the boy needed emergencial treatment to take the remnant parts of the bullet out of his shoulder. After much time, he had finally made him go to sleep, beaten by the blazing pain from the shot.  _

_ “Base unit, can you listen? Over” Vanderwood said on the radio. “Base unit, code 302707, do you copy?” _

_ Nothing. He sighed, leaning back into the cave wall. Rain was heavily falling from the sky, which provided them a natural barrier from their chasers, but at the same time made their escape impossible. Once more, he looked at the boy. Seven had been exceptional in the task. Even after being shot, the kid helped him fix the radio and stood diligently still as he pulled the bullet out of his shoulder. It was the fierceness of a child that had no other hope of survival. Vanderwood took out his jacket, placing it over the sleeping boy like a blanket. He was not that cold, anyway. _

_ “No, mom…” the boy whimpered in his sleep. “Please, don’t hurt him. Please, mom.” he began kicking in his sleep, as if he was trying to get rid of something tied to his leg. “I’ll take his place, please. It was all my fault, just let go of Saeran” he cried. “Please, let go. Let go of him. Please. Please. Mom, please.” _

_ “Kid…” Vanderwood called, remembering the scars that he saw on Seven’s arms and recognizing the panic of an abused child. “Seven, wake up…” _

_ “Mom, no. No, mom!” he yelled, shivering as he turned from side to side, sobbing desperately as his nightmarish vision developed in his mind.  _

_ “Shh, kid.” Vanderwood cooed, pulling him into a hug. The boy struggled, crying harder. “Listen to my voice. I’m here. She’s not going to hurt you. Come on, kid.” in his sleep, Seven stopped, sobbing softly. With his thin hand, he held Vanderwood’s shirt, and the older agent did not do any movement to make him let go. “That’s right, you’re safe. You’re safe. I’ll take care of you. You’re safe.” _

_ He leaned back, holding the boy tight against his chest. The boy continued to cry, murmuring names that Vanderwood chose to forget. He had to save the kid, get him out of that place. _

_ “Agent Vanderwood, do you copy?” asked the voice coming from the radio. “We received a 302707, state your location, over.” _

_ “Agent Vanderwood, copy that.” Vanderwood said. “We have the target, but we’re stranded in a cave in the woods. I’ve sent a signal, over.” _

_ “Copy that. We’ll reach you in 30 minutes, over.” _

_ Vanderwood left the radio by his side, letting out a sigh of relief. _

_ “See kid… I’m taking you to safety. We’ll be fine.” he hugged the boy tighter, only letting go of him when the rescue team arrived. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we have a bit of development of two relationships that will play a big part for us to understand some of those characters! Vanderwood will continue to be a huuuge mentour to Saeyoung - as well as a guide through this hard times. It was very importanto to me that we could stablish his relationship with Saeyoung and try to develop more the bond between them. Regarding Jumin: it seemed fit to me that he would have met Saeran at some point, besides, I just find it interesting on how he favours Jumin over the rest of the RFA in the game, and wanted to come up to an explanation to that.
> 
> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	33. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of child abuse

Saeran could barely move. Leaning against the wall of the basement cell, he grunted as he tried to find a better position. From the moment when the believers grabbed him by the arms, dragging him back to the darkness of the Magenta, he already knew what was about to happen. He knew that they would drag him directly to the basement. He knew that they would put chains on his ankles since he hated it so much, since it reminded him of mother. He knew that they would force him to drink the elixir. He knew that he would be punished and left alone in the dark, shivering in fear and pain as he heard the steps getting farther away. Saeran knew, and still he had been the one to choose that instead of seeing his brother. 

The ginger boy bit his lips, even breathing was hurting at that point. So much pain, pain, pain. It was as if the dreadful feeling ate him alive, chewing his frail body while hunger shivered inside of him. Saeran was hungry, so hungry. In moments like that, the scared one used to be active, but not that time. He was silent, quiet, scarcely whispering in his mind, because that time, his fight was with the angry one.

_ He betrayed us. _

Saeran couldn’t understand. They would leave. They would be free.  _ We protected noona.  _ They abandoned themselves to die. In vain, he pulled the shackles in his ankle, crying in fear of her, in fear of her memory, in fear of remembering the rope that was always there, always there, always there.  _ Please, don’t tie me up again, mother will come after me. _ Stupid. How could he be so stupid, stupid. Useless, he allowed himself to fall on the floor, there was too much pain for him to endure. While he cried, Saeran closed his eyes. He couldn’t forgive himself. Saeyoung came after him.  _ He came after noona, he never cared about us.  _ Saeyoung was right there.  _ He abandoned us.  _ Saeyoung called for him, but he didn’t go. He didn’t move.

Ever since he was little, Saeran had a special place in his mind. Whenever he needed to think or get away from things, he went there. While there, he could never hear mother screaming and the pain would always stay far away. After the others appeared, he stopped going to the special place. Lost inside himself, he had been existing in another estate. Where had he been for that long? Had he been truly gone? Saeran did not know, the voices in his mind growing larger, stronger, engulfing him in their screams, cries, always so loud, so loud, so loud. Sometimes, he could not even listen to himself, or perhaps the noise was coming from himself all along. He did not know. He didn’t. He didn’t. In fact, most times he was not sure of who he was anymore. 

_ I protected us from him. He would hurt us again. _

Saeyoung had been so close, so close, so close. Saeran saw him coming, him yelling, him crying. He saw. Still, he kicked the panel. Why? Why did he?  _ He never loved us.  _ Hadn’t he? Maybe that was true. Perhaps he had truly been forgotten by his brother.  _ Who could ever love someone like us? _

_ Mother walked around the house, muttering curses and swears towards their father as she was not pleased with the amount of money that he had sent. Saeran sighed, pulling his blanket over his legs and curling up more against the wall, holding the book tight in his hand. Mother yelled too much, it was hard to read when she was talking like that.  _

_ “What about you?” she yelled, looking at him. “Can’t you do anything other than reading this crap?” _

_ “I-it’s not crap…” Saeran murmured. “I just… I like it”  _

_ “Where did you get it in the first place?” she asked, sweeping the floor. “I didn’t even think that you’d be able to learn how to read seeing how dumb you are.” _

_ “Hyung lended it to me.” he answered. _

_ “I’m sorry?” she scoffed, “What did you call him?” _

_ The boy hunched, pushing himself against the wall, noticing his mistake right after it was done. _

_ “Mr. Kim” he whispered, looking down.  _

_ Mother laughed, making him close his eyes not to cry. He shouldn’t have said hyung, he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t. _

_ “So now he’s hyung?” she kept laughing, her steps drawing closer to him. “Do you think that they like you, Saeran?” She asked. “Do you think that the couple truly cares about a moron like you?”  _

_ Saeran was quiet. He knew what would come for him if he dared to open his mouth, if he ever tried to make her stop, but at the same time he remembered Saeyoung. His brother would never let her talk about hyung and noona like that.  _

_ “Yes, I-I do.” he answered. “They- They care about me.” _

_ Mother laughed once more, making him whimper. Don’t cry, don’t cry. Suddenly, her hand wrapped around his hair, forcing him to look at her. _

_ “Let me tell you something, Saeran: they don’t. Just look at you. Look at how ridiculous you are, how ugly, how… disgusting. No one will ever like you.” she let go of his hair, standing tall in front of the crying child. “Who would care about a sick child? All you can do is keep whimpering and sobbing through the corners. You are so unbearable that even Saeyoung, that termite, ran away to be free of you.” _

_ “He didn't,” Saeran answered.  _

_ “He did!” mother yelled, making him cry harder. “He did, Saeran. Your brother left because he couldn’t stand you anymore. Look how much you cost me… You're lucky that your father doesn’t give a damn about you two and it’s easy for me to keep lying to him about you two being alive. So no, the couple does not care about you. No one does. You should be thankful for me not abandoning you on the street, I’m the only person that could stand you for this long.” she continued. “Stop crying, damnit! How can you be so annoying? Stupid boy, calling people hyung. He doesn’t like you, neither does the woman. Look at where you are from, where you live, your clothes, everything. They are just a rich couple doing their dose of charity, that’s all. A child like you is just like a rat to them, and no one likes rats.” she resumed her sweeping. “No one loves you, stupid boy. No one” _

Saeran cried, her words resonating in his ears so many years later, her terrifying voice screaming, filling the cell with the horror of her home. He clenched his hair. Those memories shouldn’t be there, he should have gone to the special place, he didn’t want to remember her.  _ I’m scared.  _ He didn’t want her, not her, not her. Why hadn’t he gone away? Why didn’t he follow noona into the car?

_ I was afraid,  _ said the angry one.

He was afraid of losing his brother once more. He was afraid of watching Saeyoung leave him again. Saeyoung.  _ Saeyoung. _

_ “Hey, Saeran… Why are you crying?” his brother’s voice was always kind, always warm within their cold home. His smiling face shined in the dark, scaring away all the monsters that lived in their home. “Don’t cry, please. I have the greatest thing to tell you! I remembered you today when I was away in the street because I saw the prettiest flower growing on the sidewalk, you would have loved it!” _

He was scared of discovering that his brother truly had never loved him, that no one had ever cared about him. He had gotten scared of facing Saeyoung after so much time and hate had gotten in their way.  _ I was afraid of losing him again.  _

_ “Come on, Saeran! We’re almost there!” Saeyoung giggled, pulling him by the hand as they walked on the street. “You’ll love it, I’m sure! You don’t need to be scared okay? I’m here with you.” _

Hyung had come for him.  _ What if he just came because of noona?  _ Hyung came to help him leave. Hyung came back.

_ ““I’ll be back soon, I promise. Please, be good, all right? Be brave and good and take care of yourself. It’ll be just a couple of hours, but I want you to be safe. Promise me you’ll be brave if mom is mean again.” Saeyoung cooed, covering him with their blanket for the last time. “I love you, Saeran. I love you so much. Go back to sleep now, it’s still early. I’m just going to get those things on the market for mom. You don’t need to be afraid if I’m not here when you wake up because I’m coming back, you know that I am.” _

He came back.  _ I was so afraid.  _ He came back.  _ What if he leaves us?  _ Hyung came to save us. 

For once, he found the special place in his mind, but that time he was not the one to choose his surroundings. Saeran found himself in a dark room filled by a sole mattress, a closet, a counter against the window and a narrow hallway for a kitchen. As dust traveled through the air, the boy listened to the sound behind him, but he didn’t turn right away. He knew what he would see, he sensed him before, but shame never allowed him to look back, to face him as he did before.

Saeran turned around slowly, taking his time before laying his eyes on the ginger child hugging his own legs in the corner of the room, with a rope attached on his ankle. The boy stared back at him, dressed in worn clothes that were too big for his small size, patiently waiting for Saeran to gather the courage of kneeling in front of him. Without moving his teary gaze away, the boy spoke:

“Where is hyung? Is he coming back?”

Saeran couldn’t hold it in anymore. He pulled the ginger child into a hug, sobbing upon facing himself, sobbing upon coming to the answer that he had been seeking for so many years.

“He is coming. Hyung is coming back to us.”

. . .

After entering the hut, MC guided V towards the room that Vanderwood had told her to go. She helped him out of the believer robe, leaving him dressed with his pants and a dark shirt. Assisting him to get in bed, Myung removed the older man’s shoes and pulled the covers up to his chin in order to provide him with some warmth. 

“Saeran…” the man whimpered. “Saeran is… Where is…”

“Shhh” she cooed, feeling tears fill her eyes. “He is coming. We’ll go get him, alright? We’ll get him.” her voice cracked. “We… Just, rest, okay? You need to rest, V”

Her hands shivered, her mind racing at an endless speed, unable to process everything that had happened in the last hour. She was supposed to leave with Saeran. They should be free together. V held her hand and that was enough to make her cry.

“I’m sorry” he murmured, trying to sit up in order to pull her into a hug. 

V’s hug was warm, as kind as his sad eyes. MC felt tiny, shielded by him as she allowed herself to continue crying, releasing all the anguish of the past days. V could barely think, feeling his mind foggy as the thoughts slipped through his fingers. Saeran was still missing. Once more, he had failed. Quietly, the door opened, revealing the man called Vanderwood, followed by the ginger boy that he knew so well. As soon as his eyes met Saeyoung’s, he signaled the girl with his head, shifting her from his embrace to Saeyoung.

“I’ll take care of him,” Vanderwood said. “I need to figure out what the hell they gave for him to drink.”

Saeyoung nodded, holding MC close against his chest. As he was leaving the bedroom, Vanderwood called him once more.

“Hey, kid. Take care of her. She needs you right now”

Saeyoung nodded, closing the door and taking MC to the living room. They sat on the old couch, but even so he didn’t let go. He would never let go again. Gently stroking her hair, he had no words, even if his heart was screaming within his chest. He wanted to apologize, to ask if she had been hurt, if they had done anything against her; but he didn’t say anything. Saeyoung just held her close, feeling her breathing slowly, her chest expanding and retreating like the tides against the beach.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

“Me too” he answered. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” she said, without letting go of him. “There is nothing for you to be sorry about. Nothing.”

He nodded, bringing her closer to him. He missed her voice and the little freckles in her cheeks. Her kindness, such a kindness towards someone that had done more wrongs than rights.

“How was him?” Saeyoung asked. “Was… Was Saeran doing ok?”

“No, Saeyoung.” she answered. “Saeran wasn’t okay. He is getting better, but Rika did something to him.”

MC got away from his hug, proceeding to tell him all the details of the past days, about Ray and Saeran, about her talk with Rika, about V’s imprisonment. Saeyoung heard everything with minimum reaction, trying his best to focus on what his girlfriend was telling him, not on the rage that filled his heart. When she finished, he said:

“We should tell the others. Jumin at least. But it’s late, you must be tired so-”

“So call him now” MC answered. “I can rest later, we need to find Saeran fast”

Saeyoung smiled at her. His girlfriend was cool. He took his computer from the desk, going back to his place near her, giving her a kiss on the head, that was reciprocated by a soft kiss on his right cheek, making him blush.

“Ah, don’t do that like this… So… So… Sudden” he stuttered, feeling his heart beat stronger.

“Aren’t you a little scaredy cat…” she giggled.

“Hey, behave, alright? We’re making a call here!” he said, clicking the call button in order to contact Jumin through video chat.

It only rang once before Jumin’s tie appeared in front of the screen.

“Why can I only see my chest? Assistant Kang, I believe that my computer has been hacked by the people that tried to hack my mouse, that’s a personal attack!”

“Mr. Han, you just need to tilt the camera back!” Jaehee’s exasperated voice said, coming through Saeyoung’s speakers. 

“But the camera is inside the computer screen!” Jumin exclaimed.

They heard laughter echoing on the back of the audio.

“Umh… Guys?” Saeyoung called. 

“Mr. Han, just pull the monitor upwards so that the camera will face you and not your chest!”

“Why can’t I just adjust the camera?” Jumin’s voice asked, making MC giggle.

“Because it’s inside the computer, genius” Zen’s voice echoed from the back. “We’ll have to open the thing and pull it out in order for you to shift it”

“Oh my God, hyung!” Yoosung laughed.

“Guys!” Saeyoung called once more. “Please don’t embarrass us in front of the new member.”

Silence fell over the other side and, in a second, the four members gathered in front of the camera, that was quickly fixed as Jaehee changed it to a better position.

“MC!” Jaehee exclaimed.

“You’re alive!” Yoosung cheered.

“What a relief!” Zen said.

“It is indeed a pleasure to meet you, Myung Chae,” Jumin said, sitting back on his chair. 

MC smiled, waving at the familiar faces on the screen. It felt as if she knew them for years after everything that she had gone through.

“It is good to see that you are safe. Where are V and Saeran?” Jumin said.

“V is in the bedroom, Vanderwood is taking care of him. He seems to have been poisoned or something like that” Saeyoung answered. “And Saeran… We had a complication and he’s still trapped in the mint eye, but we’ll go back to get him tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry about your brother, Saeyoung” Yoosung murmured.

"It's fine. We’ll get him out, it’ll just take a little longer than expected.” Saeyoung answered, but his eyes filled with tears. “Jumin, I wanted to ask you to get that team ready. I’ll try to take him out of there quietly, but if we need rescue, they should be prepared.”

“Do not worry, I shall get them ready first thing in the morning” Jumin nodded. “Now, Myung, if you do not mind, what happened there? May you tell us?”

MC nodded, holding Saeyoung’s hands as she told everything once more, answering their never ending questions about the last days. She had to be strong once more, but thinking about it was much easier than doing it in front of others. Upon revisiting her memories, watching Yoosung break as she mentioned Rika, seeing how much suffering her friend was going through, Myung began to cry. Zen told her to stop talking about it if it made her uncomfortable, but she knew that she shouldn’t. They had to find Saeran fast, before Rika could hurt him even more. Some things she didn’t tell. She told them about Rika and about the Mint Eye, but not much about Saeran and his split personalities. Some details were only for his brother to know.

“Thank you so much for telling us all this, Myung” Jaehee said. “I wish that I could be there to comfort you, but right now all I can offer you are my words of support.”

“Yeah, MC. Thank you” Yoosung sniffed, having his hair stroked by Zen. “It’s not easy to hear this stuff, but… We need to face reality”

“We should allow you to rest.” Jumin said. “Please, keep in contact and call me as soon as you can tomorrow. Saeyoung, before we leave there is something that you must know. The Prime Minister was here, he is making business with my father and V’s father as well.”

“He what?”

“Yeah,” Zen nodded, his voice as annoyed as his face. “He came here and totally left some hints to these guys that he was the reason why I was stuck in the prosecution’s office all day long. I missed a date because of that, and it’s the third time that I have to reschedule it! I wasn’t here when he came, but if I was, I would have given that asshole a small ass-kicking to teach him a lesson.” 

“Therefore,” Jumin said. “we are all glad that Zen was not here.”

“What do you mean that he… Crap…” Saeyoung murmured.

“We are going to fix this matter, Saeyoung” Jumin said. “I give you my word. Now rest, we’ll talk in the morning. Good night, Myung. Good night, Saeyoung.”

They all said their goodbyes and soon, the computer screen went black.

“Well, that’s it.” Saeyoung turned to MC, caressing her cheek. “You should rest. Take the other bedroom, I’ll share the living room with Vanderwood.” he said, giving her a kiss on the lips. It felt soft, tender, her warmth passing to his cold lips. Even after the kiss ended, he kept his hand resting in her cheeks, their foreheads touching softly as the tip of their noses brushed each other. “I still need to work for a bit, but you need to rest. I’ll be here, protecting you. You’re safe.”

MC spotted a blanket thrown over the couch, picking it up and throwing it over herself and her boyfriend. Her stupid boyfriend.

“MC, what are you-”

“How long is it going to take for you to realize that we’re a team, ginger boy?” she asked, smiling at him. “I’m not leaving you alone right now. I may not know anything about computers and stuff, but I know that you need someone to make you company, and that’s what I’ll do.” She said, giving him a peck on the cheek before leaning against his shoulder. “Who do you think protects the defender of justice?”

With her eyes closed, she felt him kissing her head, helping her to lay comfortably against him.

“I love you, Myung Chae.” he said, stroking her hair. “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again.”

“And I love you, Saeyoung Choi.” she answered. “I’m here, protecting you, until the end.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyaaa, I'm so happy right now! I can't wait to post the next chapter and to see you guys reactions to everything that will happen. 
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> A special thanks for my special friend (aka. amazing beta reader), that endures every single craziness in this story beforehand.
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	34. Blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: This chapter will depict characters discussing toxic and abusive relationships.

Vanderwood woke up early in the morning. Just like everyday, he took a deep breath, stretched and got up, looking for the shirt that he had thrown over the chair before climbing into bed just a few hours before. Rescue missions were the worst. While he put on his purple shirt, the agent walked towards his bag, looking for his tooth brush.

The walk to the bathroom was lazy. He knew well that it was too early to be awake considering at what time they all had gone to sleep, still, sleeping had never been a pleasant task for him. While brushing his teeth, Vanderwood looked in the mirror, seeing the reflection of a young man with light brown hair. He saw that face every morning, and still, something seemed different. He was thinner, maybe. Or just tired. Vanderwood was always tired, as a matter of fact. Or maybe he was afraid. Yes, that seemed fit. Vanderwood was afraid. After talking to Seven the night before, it was as if he had opened the lid that covered his insecurities, but he was still not ready to look inside. The kid needed him and that meant being strong and cutting the bullshit of thoughts going through his mind.

Vanderwood opened the bathroom door, leaving his brush in the bedroom and walking back to the living room, where the couple was sleeping together on the couch. He had not seen them fall asleep, but when he walked out of V’s bedroom late at night, he had found the two of them already sleeping, MC wrapped in Seven’s arms. Seeing the scene, the ex-agent cautiously walked to the kitchen and prepared coffee for all of them. When the beverage was almost ready, he opened the cupboard to take his mug and slammed it shut, making the loud noise resonate through the room.

Without looking, he heard MC and Seven waking up, jumping on the couch after the scare. Next, all he could hear was

“Goddamnit, Vanderwood” 

Seven fell back on the couch, covering his eyes with his hands. He was so deeply asleep that he was sure that the sound had been a gun firing at them, so his first impulse had been of imediately pulling MC closer to him, only to let go of her as soon as he realized that it was just his stupid mentour. 

“You scared the crap out of me, you asshole” the hacker continued.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Vanderwood sang, pouring himself a nice cup of coffee, smiling.

“The sleeping beauty was woken up by a kiss, not a heart attack!” Seven complained, sitting up and looking at the older man.

“I’m not going to kiss you, if that’s what you’re asking for…” Vanderwood said, taking a sip from his coffee.

MC giggled watching them bickering, finding adorable the chaotic dynamic between them.

“Good morning, Mr. Vanderwood.” she said.

“Good morning, security camera girl”

The girl smiled, turning back to face Saeyoung, holding his hand as she sat in front of him on the couch.

“I’m going to take a bath. I really need one after the Mission Impossible escape last night.” she said.

“Okay. I’ll be here, with Vanderwood” his voice died at the end of the sentence, followed by a roll of his eyes, making MC laugh. “See you in a few minutes”

He kissed her, placing his hand on her cheeks, bringing her closer to him.

“Hey, Mr. Sweet-lips… We have work to do!” Vanderwood called.

Saeyoung sighed, listening his girlfriend laugh as she got away from him, heading to the bathroom. The redhead stood up, walking towards the kitchen and picking the coffee pot from the counter.

“Aren’t you all funny today?” he pointed out, filling his mug with coffee.

“Hey, I’m here to help you, not to see the scenes of the next teenage romance movie” Vanderwood casually said, placing his mug over the table and sitting in front of his computer.

The older agent began typing, pretending not to see the angry look that the red head threw at him, as well as he pretended not to see him smiling right after.

“I need to make a call. Can you check if we have any interference?” Saeyoung asked.

“Sure. I’m opening a safe line right now” Vanderwood said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Am I still prohibited to smoke here?”

“Dude, you’re prohibited to smoke anywhere near me and Saeran for the rest of your life” Saeyoung answered, flashing him with his crooked smile.

“You say that as if we’ll keep talking after we’re done with this” Vanderwood said. “I still need to vanish, kid.”

“Oh, shut up, Vanderwood,” he said. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy”

Vanderwood smiled, establishing the connection for the safe call and watching Seven hit the call button. 

“Good morning, Saeyoung!” Jumin’s voice sounded through the phone. “How are you today?”

“I’m okay… What about you, Jumin?” he asked. “I’m really pissed at V right now, but you must be worried. Are you okay?”

“Yes. I do not believe that wasting my time worrying about what could happen will be fruitful in this situation, so I am avoiding doing so.” Jumin answered. “I shall be brief. Can you state your precise location for me? I must warn the emergency team so that they can locate you easily.”

“We’re back to the old cabin that V bought some years ago,” Saeyoung said. “It’s a couple of hours away from the Mint Eye, and it’s safe for now.” he took a deep breath. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I am worried about the prime minister. Since he has approached my father, he now has access to a big amount of information about me, besides, it will be easier for him to reach me, therefore, it’s a closer contact between him and the RFA.” the man said on the other side of the line. “I will attempt to elaborate a strategy to free you and Saeran from his grasp for once.”

“Thank you, Jumin.” Saeyoung said, leaning back on his chair. “You have no idea of how much this means to me. Look, before all of this happened, V has given me a flash drive that has some files that we can use, I’ll send them to you. I didn’t have the time to go through everything, but from what I could see he has done a pretty complete investigation regarding the prime minister” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he heard the other man talking on the phone. “Okay… I’ll find it, don’t worry… In a couple of hours I’ll send you something… I’ll call you later, okay? Bye.”

He hung up, throwing his phone over the desk. When he was with MC during the night, feeling her sleep in his arms, he had almost imagined that he was just a normal person, with a normal life, almost forgetting about the father that had tormented his entire childhood. But the truth was that Saeyoung Choi would always need to be a shadow, at least as long as his father was aware of his existence. 

“Having normal parents must be cool, don’t you think?” he said, staring at the table. 

“You tell me.” Vanderwood answered, without taking his eyes from the computer.

“I think it must be.” Saeyoung continued. “When I was a kid, I used to imagine what it would be like. Me and Saeran being happy and safe, with a nice family that cared for us… Didn’t you use to imagine stuff like that?”

“Kid, my father was always beating me up, drunken out of his mind, and my mom was always hallucinating with whatever the hell she had injected in her body that time.” Vanderwood answered. “I never got to be the very imaginative type.” he sighed. “But yeah, not having crazy parents to fuck up your head must be great”

Silence fell between them, being cut only by the sharp taps of Vanderwood against his keyboard. Lost in his thoughts, Saeyoung took some time to realize the quietness of the environment, attempting to organize the thoughts that flashed on his own head. He looked at the agent, already knowing what he wanted to ask, but fearing the answer, the judgement of the other upon him. At times like that, Saeyoung felt as if nothing had truly changed in his life. It almost seemed that he was still a scared child trapped in his mother’s house.

“Do you ever think about what we’ve done wrong?” he finally asked, feeling a shiver go down his spine. “I mean… What have we done for our parents to hate us?” Vanderwood raised his head to him, attentively listening. “I was not exactly an obedient child, but it was all because she mistreated us so much and I was the only one that could go out and find some stuff to take care of Saeran. I don’t remember once that my mother was not angry at us and still, I can’t think what I’ve done for her to hate us so much.”

Vanderwood stopped to think. He knew that Saeyoung was waiting for an answer, but he did not know how to give it to him. Talking about the past had never been a pleasure for him. At a few times he had told the kid about his past, but only in situations of distress, when that was the only thing that he could say, but still it was tough. Vanderwood had more traumas than he would wish to admit, and to make Seven aware of that was a step too large for him to take. 

“That’s because you’ve never done anything,” Vanderwood answered at last. “Your mother used to hurt you for the same reason that my father used to hurt me: they are assholes.”

“Can you ever help me out without saying that someone is an asshole?”

“Just listen, okay?” he interrupted. His voice was always softer when he talked about issues that he thought that mattered. “Look, kid… What happened to you, what happened to me… is bad, really bad. And those people like our parents are always trying to make us think that it was all our fault because they want to justify the crap they did. But it isn’t. It isn’t your fault. Wanna blame yourself for something? Blame yourself for making me quit my job as an agent, but not for whatever your mother did to you. No one  _ deserves _ to be abused, doesn’t matter what you’ve done.” Vanderwood continued, looking straight into Seven’s eyes. “Let me put it another way. Abuse is like a pit of mud. You are slowly sinking in it, only with your head out. It presses on your chest and heart until you think that you’ll die in there. Then one day you figure that you can get out. Of course, if you just pull yourself out, the mixture of mud will harden and you’ll get stuck, so you go slowly. Leaving abuse behind is really slow. You’ll slowly free one arm, then the other. Maybe you’ll have to stop for a bit to find somewhere to hold in order to pull yourself up, maybe you’ll immediately get out after that. The thing is… Even after leaving, the mud stays with you, it sticks to you. But you got out of there, you survived to live another day and  _ that _ is what matters. Many people don’t have the same luck.” he leaned back on his chair. “You ran away from home when you were really young, but you’re still in the mud. It’s slow, it’s hard, everyday is a new battle. Crap, I got out of home when I was twelve. It’s been almost fifteen years and I’m still carrying that mud around.”

“I just keep thinking that I could have gotten out of there sooner” Saeyoung blurted out, feeling a single tear run down his cheek. “I never tried to. I could have taken Saeran out of there, run away with him. Once, she got angry because we had gone out without her permission, so she dragged us to the door and told me to leave. She told me that I should take my brother and go away. I didn’t. I was so scared of going away and having to face my father, but now I keep thinking.” he stopped, trying to stop his crying. “I keep thinking that if I had left with my brother, Saeran would not be where he is right now. She gave me a choice, and I was the one who chose to stay. I had the opportunity of leaving the mud all along but I didn’t.”

“Saeyoung, the choice never existed.” Vanderwood said. “All your mother did was make you think that you had it, when you didn’t. You were a kid, trying to survive a crazy father that was doing everything to murder you and your brother. Besides, after everything you told me about her, do you really think that she would allow you to leave?”

Saeyoung went silent. She wouldn’t. It was so simple and still his mind seemed unable to process such a clear fact: she wouldn’t allow them to leave. If he had opened the door, she would have pulled him back, or worse, she would have taken Saeran and done something even worse to him. His childhood had been resumed in being trapped in fights that were not his, and still receiving all the blows. Before he could say anything else, his phone rang, startling the two men. Saeyoung looked at the caller ID and saw Zen’s name displayed on the screen.

“Hey, Zen. What’s up?” Saeyoung answered the phone, sending a shy smile to Vanderwood, trying to silently thank him for the talk. 

“Hey. I wanted to apologize about yesterday.” Zen said. “I mean… Not apologize but just let you know that I did not tell them anything about you or Saeran, okay? I acted as if you didn’t exist.”

“Thank you, man. I really appreciate it” he said, scratching the back of his neck as he got up. “I’ve already fixed your phone, you’ve seen it right? Is everything back to normal? And I kind of updated the operational system too, I hope that’s okay… Did you know that you had not updated it since you bought the phone?”

“Oh, that’s why it was all different and cool? It’s great, thanks man, Yoosung even showed me some apps for me to download” Zen said, cleaning his throat. “Now… I wanted to talk about something a bit more serious to you”

Saeyoung began to pour himself coffee, balancing the phone between his shoulder and ear. 

“You see… You and MC have spent some time apart from each other, and now you have privacy as you two are together in a remote place.”

Saeyoung froze, placing the jug back on the counter.

“Zen, please don’t say what I’m thinking that you’re about to…” he whispered.

“Saeyoung, you know that every man has a beast inside. You may see MC with you in the cabin and think that you are ready, but you need to control this beast.”

“Oh, God” he said, hiding his face in his hand. “Zen, it’s cool, alright? We’re not alone, besides I’m a decent human being, so no need to worry about her.”

“All I’m saying is that you need to be a gentleman!” Zen insisted. “And you know that this is not the behavior of a gentleman, right?”

Saeyoung turned red as he saw MC enter the living room, coming towards him. 

“Okay, Zen” he said, turning his back to her. “I’m not going to talk about this with you, it’s bad enough that I had to have this kind of talk with Vanderwood, I’m already traumatized enough”

“She’s in the room?” he asked

“Yes, and if you don’t stop I’ll put you on speakerphone so that she can hear this absurd conversation!” he threatened.

“All right, all right” Zen said. 

Saeyoung heard Myung laughing behind him, coming to find her bent over the counter, looking at him.

“Is it Zen?” she asked.

“Yes.” he answered. “Wanna talk to him?” he asked, watching her nod. “She wants to talk to you”

Saeyoung gave Myung the phone, proceeding to sit back on his seat in front of the computer. He typed in some lines of code, accessing the satellite in order to seek some images of Mint Eye, hoping to find any sign of Saeran, but there was nothing to see. They had dragged his brother inside, so that was where he should go. With the files Saeran sent him, he could access the entire blueprint of the building, something that gave him great advantage when compared to the last time. He crossed it with the electric scheme, to try and locate the security system. They would have to break into it again just like they had done before, but that time they would have to do so in plain daylight.

“Saeyoung…” 

A male voice called coming from the corridor. The voice of a kind man that he knew so well. As he turned to look, he saw V leaning against the corridor wall in order to reach the living room, his body fiercely fighting in order to take the few steps ahead of him.

“What are you doing? I told you to keep resting!” Vanderwood said, jumping up on his feet.

“Zen, I gotta go. Bye” MC said, turning off the phone and running towards V in order to give him some help, reaching the man right in the moment when he kicked one of the bags that was lying on the floor.

“Sorry,” he murmured, accepting MC’s help in order to reach one of the chairs.

“You should be in bed” she answered.

“I can’t. I need to go back… I need to… I need to talk to Rika” the mint-haired man said, making silence fall over the room.

None of the others could think about an appropriate response. In fact, none of them expected to hear this idea coming out of the man that was dying in front of them.

“I’m sorry… What?” MC asked. “V, what the hell are you talking about?”

“I need to go back.” he said. “MC, you’ve heard her. After what happened… She won’t stop before I go to her and give her my love, like I promised”

“I’ve heard her saying, very excitedly by the way, that she wanted to kill you” MC answered.

“I promised that I would give her love. Even if I know it was all an obsession all along, I must return and fulfill the promise. That’s the only way that she will release Saeran!”

“Am I the only one that’s feeling an urge to give him a punch in the face?” asked Vanderwood.

“No, you’re not” Saeyoung answered. “What are you rambling about, V?”

“I need to sacrifice myself to her in order to protect you all. Saeyoung… this is all my fault.” V said, pressing his hand against his chest. “And I am so, so sorry about everything that has happened. I promised her that I would love her forever, no matter what, but I was suffocating Rika without realizing it, I was forcing her to change when she wasn’t ready and just like that… I lost her, and she took Saeran in the process. I am the only one that can change things, I can help Rika!”

“Until what? Until she kills you?” Saeyoung yelled. “You’re already getting blind, if you didn’t realize it yet, and she was the one that blinded you in the first place!”

“I need to do this, Saeyoung!” V said. 

“No, you don’t!” the redhead replied. “You don’t need to be the great savior of us all, V!”

Silence fell over the room again, the angry words of the redhead seemed to resonate within the air, creating a barrier that did not allow anyone else to manifest. V sighed, lowering his head, and this angered Saeyoung even more as he realized that V had never discussed anything, because he would never truly talk about his thoughts. Every conversation was based in sad stares and sighs.

“Vanderwood, why don’t we give them some space?” Myung asked. “Let’s… Let’s just go outside for a bit.”

“Sure, I… I’ve got to smoke” he said, taking his pack of cigarettes. 

Even after they left, silence remained in the room. Neither of them was able to speak, still, thoughts travelled within their heads, each one waiting for the other to begin.

“I’m trying to protect you” V murmured, shifting his sad eyes from the floor to Saeyoung. “I’m sorry for hiding so much from you, but I didn’t want to see you getting hurt.”

“Great job on that.” Saeyoung’s voice was sharp, ironic, the bitterness dripping through the air.

“I am the only person that can end this. Rika wants me and nothing else, she won’t stop until I surrender completely to her. When I vanish, you won’t be in danger because of her, but I am the only one that can solve this.” V pushed his hair away from his face, revealing his sad eyes. “Saeyoung, please, try to understand. I’m only trying to protect all of you! I am the only one to blame for everything. I beg of you, please, I must end this”

Saeyoung pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. He was seeing the man that he had respected so deeply, admired so intensely. The person who once brought him joy and peace in the darkest hours in that moment could only bring him anger.

“Can you even realize how selfish you sound right now?” Saeyoung asked. “Yeah, fine, you’ll sacrifice yourself for us, great. Then what? You’ll be dead, but did you think about the rest of us? Did it cross your mind what other people will feel? Did you even remember about your friend Jumin that has been insanely worried about you for the past six months? Or do you think that you’ll just die and we’ll be happy and celebrating the ‘all mighty and glorious V, that saved our lives’?” he scoffed, shaking his head as he fell back on the chair. “I used to admire you so much. I really did. God, Jihyun, you were a father figure for me, did you know that? Of course you did. You’ve always known. But now?” he shook his head, feeling his eyes fill with tears. Once more, he got up, walking back and forth, unable to remain still “When I look back, I can’t shake this feeling that I was lied to.”

“Saeyoung, please… I never lied-”

“Do you know what it looks like now?” Saeyoung interrupted. “Do you know what it all seems to me? Even if I try not to think this, even if I beg myself not to feel this, I cannot shake away the feeling that all you did was the story of a rich couple trying to feel good about themselves. You two needed so much to feel nice and then there I was, the poor child that was so neglected, so broken, living in a fucking shithole, that I would be the perfect tool for you. So you and Rika just gave us a bit of food and help, because that would not cost you anything, right? But it was everything to us, it was every thread of hope that my brother and I had to cling into. You`ve made so many promises, you made us believe that you would save us from the hell where we lived, but when the time came for you to fulfill them, you just got rid of us because we were broken beyond repair.” the ginger boy yelled, tears dripping from his eyes. “That’s all I can think about, all I feel when I dare to imagine how long you’ve been lying to me, how long have you and Rika hidden the fact that my brother was not safe.” he wiped the tears off his eyes, but soon they came back once more. “I trusted you. I trusted you with the person that I love most in the entire world, and you abandoned him. You abandoned him just like everyone else did. Just like I did because you convinced me that it was the best, that if I did that my little brother would be safe and happy. And now… Now…” he fell on his knees, sobbing, unable to look up to V. “Now all I can think is that my mother was right, and no one, no one in the world has ever loved us. Why are we so despicable that no one can love us?”

The boy hid his face in his hands, shivering as the sobs climbed their way up his throat. Nothing else could be heard inside the house. Slowly, V stood up, forcefully taking the few steps that formed the distance between him and the sweet boy that he swore to protect. The conflict that had been planted in his heart by MC just a few days before seemed to grow larger, stronger, consuming his idea of sacrifice. Still, he had been the one responsible for that confusion, how couldn’t he be the one solving everything?

V kneeled, feeling his stomach swirl. Saeyoung had always been a small child and even grown, the boy seemed so tiny whenever he cried. V cupped his cheeks with his hands, leading Saeyoung to look at him.

“Never once I saw you as anything less than a friend, my child. Never. I may have made many mistakes along the way, but I can assure that you and Saeran are and will always be part of my family. The two of you are deeply loved and cared for. I’m just sorry that it had to be me.” he let go off Saeyoung, but remained still in front of him, waiting for his response.

“I’m so mad at you, V. I feel so betrayed…” he murmured. “But still, I can’t let you die like this. Not like this. Things aren’t always your fault. You’ve done your amount of crap, but… Rika? Her blinding you? The crazy cult thing? They are not your fault”

“I told her that I would give her endless love” V insisted

“To love someone means to do the best for the person, not allow them to do everything they want” Saeyoung interrupted. “Besides, you’ve said just now that there was no love anyways. Stop being so stubborn and prideful. How much are you going to risk in order to prove that you can save her? This isn’t about Rika anymore, V. That’s about you.” the ginger boy shook his head, looking down. “It’s all about you proving yourself that you can save everyone, in a way that you’ll not even be here to know if it worked! That’s not self sacrificing, that’s plain being selfish.”

V didn’t say anything else, trying to process everything that Saeyoung had just said. Still, he did not leave the boy’s side. Slowly, Saeyoung raised his hand, placing it on V’s forehead.

“You have a fever. You should be in bed.” he said, standing up. “Come, let me help you.”

Saeyoung threw V’s arm over his shoulder, helping the older man stand by supporting his torso. V was taller than him, but that would not be an issue for him. Quietly, he guided the man back to the bedroom, tucking him in bed.

“I can’t imagine a way out for me,” V said, leaning his head against the pillow. “After everything that I’ve done… I can’t imagine how things will end for me if it’s not by Rika’s hands.”

Saeyoung took a deep breath, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Maybe what we all need is a new beginning” the red head said. “And I guess that the first step is to forgive ourselves.” 

. . .

MC sat on the grass a few meters away from the house, still, it was not far enough that they wouldn’t hear their discussion inside. Sitting by her side, Vanderwood fidgeted with the cigarettes between his fingers, unable to light them, but also feeling it impossible to put them away.

“Do you think that they are fine in there?” Myung asked, hugging her legs. “Maybe we shouldn’t have left.”

“Don’t worry… They need to solve their issues” Vanderwood answered, looking at the cigar in his hand.

“Aren’t you going to light that?” Myung asked. “Which, by the way, you really shouldn’t”

“I just met you, okay? Let’s give it at least three months before you start giving me health advice” Vandewood said, raising the cigar up to his eyes heigh, staring at it with a conflicted expression. “Do you smoke?”

MC chuckled. “I just told you not to light that, why would you think that I do?”

“If I saw someone about to put one of these inside their mouth, I would also tell them not to light it up” he said, sticking it in his mouth and clicking his lighter. He let a line of smoke out of his mouth before going back to talking. “He hates it. Seven. I’ve lost count of the amount of times when he has left the room when I started to smoke. He says that it gives him a headache.”

“Have you ever considered stopping?” MC asked.

“Every single day” Vanderwood chuckled, taking a drag on his cigar. “But it’s been thirteen years and I’m still here.”

MC gave him a sad smile, turning back to look at the house. She could hear them talking, even if unable to recognize any words. Deep in her heart, MC wished to help, but such a complicated issue was meant to be solved in private.

“They’ll come along,” Vanderwood said. “I mean, I think that they will. Seven hasn’t decided to abandon this guy even after everything, so…”

“Why do you still call him Seven?” Myung asked. “Just out of curiosity. I mean, by now you know his full name”

“Because it feels too weird to call him Saeyoung” Vanderwood answered. “He was Seven when I met him and he’ll be Seven when I’m on my deathbed saying my goodbyes.”

Myung chuckled. “You’ve known him for a long time, right?”

“What’s with all the questions, all of the sudden?” Vanderwood asked. “I feel as if I’m in a variety program.” he laughed. “But yeah, it’s been a while.”

He took another drag on the cigar, blowing the smoke away very slowly, watching it dissipate on the wind.

“Six years, and, to be honest, I’ve never seen him so happy as he is with you” he turned to face her. “He likes you a lot, kid.”

MC felt her cheeks burn, hiding them behind her knees, sure that they were turning red, something reassured by Vanderwood’s laugh.

“Thank you” she murmured, smiling. “You are all about looking grumpy, right? Because you are really nice, Vanderwood”

He did not answer, but as Vanderwood let another cloud of smoke go away, a shy smile formed on his lips. 

. . .

The cell door opened, making the loud noise of metal hitting the brick wall resonate throughout the basement. Saeran woke up from his light sleep, pushing himself up in order to sit. He blinked a few times, trying to make his vision less blurry, but his strong cough forced him to stop everything, sending a shiver of pain through his body.

“Poor child… I warned you about what happens to traitors, Saeran” Rika said, walking in his direction. “I hope that the special treatment has been enlightening to your mind?”

The boy stayed in silence, only raising his eyes to meet hers. He tried to be brave, but deep down he knew that the only feeling that he could give was of being afraid.  _ Stand up to her. _ He couldn’t. Saeran was utterly afraid of Rika, so scared that he felt as if he couldn’t breathe, as if his body gave up on him and developed a behavior of his own, shivering, telling him to  _ cry, cry, cry.  _

“Aren’t you going to talk to me, now?” she giggled. “Please, my child. You are being rude.”

Saeran continued in silence.  _ I’m not your child. _ His eyes started burning with the tears, but he didn’t look away. He couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t look away.

“My sweet, sweet Saeran…” she said, crouching near the boy, making him flinch. “Why are you scared of me? All I ever did was protect you. That girl put those crazy thoughts inside your head and now you won’t even answer me.”

“You told them to beat me up,” Saeran murmured. “Just stay away from me”

“My child” she called. “You have broken the rules. I cannot create special treatments for you. It wouldn’t be fair. Besides, you know that punishment for traitors is usually worse, I have told them to not hurt you too much.”

“ _ Shut up, _ ” he closed his eyes, covering his mouth. Stop.  _ She can’t say that.  _ Stupid, Saeran. Could he be wrong?  _ Stop it.  _

He knew what she had done. He remembered everything, and still, for some reason that Saeran could not comprehend, he felt guilt growing in his chest, covering his thoughts, choking his breath. What if he had understood everything wrong?  _ We didn’t.  _ What if he was letting her down?  _ She doesn’t deserve our worry. _

“That is not the way that I expect you to talk to me.” Rika said, wrapping her hand around a chunk of his hair and giving it a sharp tug.

Saeran closed his eyes.  _ Make her stop.  _ He hated when she pulled his hair. Whenever she did it, he was reminded of mom. He didn’t want to remember her, he didn’t, didn’t.

“Can’t you see that I’m doing this for your own good?” Rika said, gently stroking his hair. “You are such a good hacker, Saeran. You are talented in this, gifted. You’ve found your true worth-”

“I’m not your puppet.” he said.

Once more, she tugged his hair.  _ Stop it! _ He saw a glimpse of his old home, mother yelling at him, pulling him by the hair. No.  _ No. _

“Everyone has always left you, Saeran. but I take you in. Even with your flaws, even with your delusions, I accept you just like you are. Together, we even found out that you are great with technology. How much time is it going to take for you to understand?” she asked, tugging his hair once more. “You’ve drunk enough elixir to be cleansed, you can leave if you come to me” she tugged his hair again. “It doesn’t matter how worthless you are, I shall never-”

He held her hand before she could pull his hair again. Rika’s surprised eyes looked at him as he stared her in the eye and said:

“I told you to stay away from me” 

With that, Saeran pushed her hand away, curling up more against the wall.

Annoyed, Rika stood up and began to walk out of the cell.

“Give him another dose and a lesson. This will be his last chance to turn, so make it count” she said to the other believers. “And Saeran,” she called, smiling at him. “you won’t be alone for too long. It was not very bright of you to release the girl and keep her phone with the tracking device working.”

_ Noona isn’t safe. _

Before Saeran could answer, the believers came in his direction.  _ Close your eyes.  _ He had to save Myung, they could not capture her again.  _ I’m afraid.  _ He tried to back away, making the chains rattle against the floor, but there was nowhere else to go. Saeran watched them getting closer and closer, until he received their first blow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Saeran's AE is right around the corner and I'm thrilled. May we all have a good experience with this AE!!
> 
> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	35. Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!!! I've just played Saeran's AE and OH BOY, I'M THRILLED! Don't worry, though. No spoilers.

“Myung, get up” Vanderwood said, softly poking her arm. “Come on, girl, get up”

Not much time of silence had passed between them before the agent called her name. The girl got startled a bit, realizing that she had almost drifted away while they waited for Saeyoung and V’s conversation to end. Still sitting on the grass by the agent’s side, she rubbed her eyes while he pulled her up, confused to why he was having such a desperate reaction.

“What? Why?” she asked, before turning and seeing two suited men coming in their direction, making her blood freeze. They did not look like the believers from Mint Eye, still, something about them set her off. The sunglasses, the suits, the walkie talkie earpieces, everything threw her off.

“Stay near me and let me do the talking,” he whispered. “Just go with the flow, okay?” 

Vanderwood turned to face the two men, opening a cheerful smile towards them.

“Good morning! May we help you with anything?” 

He did not even sound like the same person. His slightly cockish and mocking tone gave way to a cheerful voice that sounded misplaced coming out from his lips. 

“Good morning” one of the men said, stopping in front of them. “We are from the Supreme Prosecutor’s Office and we are doing a search in the area as we believe that a runaway criminal is loose in this area. Have you seen any suspicious activity around here?”

Myung felt her blood freeze. They were after Saeyoung, getting closer by the minute. Her heart was beating so fast that she could hear it drumming in her ears, terrified by the idea of them getting to Saeyoung, that was unaware of everything inside the house. She looked around. They seemed to be alone, but who could say that they did not have any backup hidden in between the trees?

“No, we didn't,” Vanderwood answered. “We have been here for more than a couple of days and we didn’t see anything worth mentioning. I do not believe that you are interested in tales about rabbits running around the field” he forced himself to laugh.

“Indeed, that’s not…” the agent looked at the two of them “not what we are looking for. Is that your cabin?”

“A friend lended it to us.” Vanderwood answered. 

“Interesting… May we know his name?” the agent asked, picking up a pen. “We shall need to contact him further on.

Vanderwood winced for a second, considering his possibilities before saying:

“Kim Jihyun”, he answered. “He is an old friend.”

MC tried to keep a straight face, but she couldn’t understand why he would give away V’s name like that.

“Your help is appreciated,” the man said, smiling. “And, for the record, your names are…”

“She is Myung, I’m Kwan Park” Vanderwood answered.

“Myung what?” the man answered, looking at her.

MC looked at Vanderwood for orientation, seeing him slightly nod.

“Myung Chae, sir”

“Thank you very much.” the man said, putting the notepad away in his pocket. “Your testimony will be very helpful upon finding the guilty subjects. Have a good morning”

As soon as the men disappeared among the trees, Vanderwood held the girl by the arm, dragging her back inside the house.

“We need to warn Saeyoung” he murmured, pulling her as they stepped on the grass.

“Why did we give them our names? They’ll find us!”

“Because they’ve already found us,” Vanderwood answered, looking at her. “If we do it like this, at least you and V can have some alibis. I’m not going to lie about your identities knowing that those guys will find out sooner or later. Now come on”

“Was that  _ your _ real name?” she asked.

Vanderwood stopped for a second, turning back to her. 

“We don’t have time for this. Just come. We need to leave right now.” he pulled her by the wrist, opening the door and letting her in first, locking it behind him. “Seven!” he called, running towards the bedrooms. “Seven, we’ve got company, you can fix your son and dad relationship later!”

They bolted into V’s bedroom, finding the two men talking as V laid in bed. Saeyoung stood up with the yells, puzzled by what was going on.

“What-”

“The prosecution is here” MC said, holding Saeyoung’s hand. “They talked to us. Vanderwood lied, but…”

“But here isn’t safe.” Saeyoung completed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Shit. Shit!” 

He sighed, looking at Vanderwood.

“What do we do now?” he asked.

“What do you mean? We leave.” Vanderwood answered. “We’ll wait a few hours and go away.”

Saeyoung leaned against the wall without letting go of Myung’s hand, stroking it with his thumb. He had just gotten her back, why would he have to run again to save her life? That was his unfortunate life, always running away, with freedom forever out of reach. He couldn’t risk her, but he had to stay alive in order to save his brother from the Mint Eye.

“I’ve had an idea,” he said, raising his eyes to Myung. “I don’t think that you’ll like it, but I swear that this can work”

“What is it?” Myung asked.

“If I dress up disguising myself, I can leave. They’re after me. If they try to search the house, they’ll just see you guys and there’s no proof that you know me.” he said. “I’ll go to another place and contact you so that we can plan how we’ll save Saeran.”

“This is crazy.” Vanderwood said. “What if they go after you when you leave? What if they find you? It’s too risky.”

“I need to take the risk!” Saeyoung insisted. “Please, trust me.”

“Well, what if they come to search the house and ask about our friend that left before?” Vanderwood asked. “What are we supposed to say?”

“Give them this name.” Saeyoung said, writing the name in a piece of paper and giving it to Vanderwood. “It’s a fake ID, but I’ve used it before. I made every document, so this person exists according to the system.”

“Honey, I don’t like this idea of self-sacrificing.” MC said. “Saeran needs you. And I need you too”

“I’m not self-sacrificing. I have absolutely no intention of letting those guys catch me.” he said, pushing her hair away from her face. “It’s just a diversion, like I did with my father’s men when I was little. Please, MC. Trust me. I swear to you, for all the stars that glimer inside my heart, that I’ll come back.”

Myung sighed, cupping his cheek with her hand. She gave him a long, soft kiss on the lips, resting her forehead against his. 

“I trust you more than anyone in this world.” she whispered. “If you don’t come back, you know that I’ll go after you and kick your ass, right?”

He chuckled. “I wouldn’t expect anything different. See, Vanderwood? I told you that it would be useful to pack some of my wigs.” he looked at MC. “Now, I’ll ask you something, love. Can you lend me your clothes?”

. . .

MC made sure that all curtains were closed as she walked on the living room, sitting on the couch, curling up inside her boyfriend’s clothes. He was taking a change of clothes for himself, but she had nothing beyond the believer robe and her own clothes, which made the only solution to their exchange to be her wearing his clothes until they could go back to the city.

The girl tapped her hand on the couch, thinking over and over about Saeyoung’s plan. it should work, but there were many things that should have worked on the past days that didn’t. She sighed, hiding her face in her hands. She couldn’t cry. She couldn’t. Everything was already hard enough for Saeyoung, she had to be strong for him. At least for him.

“Myung?” a kind voice called.

As she looked up, she saw V leaning against the corridor wall, looking at her.

“Is… Is Saeyoung leaving already?” he asked.

MC could not believe that she had never realized that the man in front of her was becoming blind. She had noticed his difficulty of staring straight to her, but she could have never imagined that the reason was that he was almost blinded by his ex-fiancé.

“He’ll leave soon, he’s just getting ready.” She answered, standing up and helping V to reach a chair. “You should be in bed.”

“I need to talk to him before he leaves.” the man answered, placing his hand on his forehead. “How are you feeling in this situation?”

“Well, I’m not exactly thrilled.” MC said, sitting on the chair next to him. “But I trust Saeyoung. If he promised me… I want to believe him”

“Trust…” V murmured. “Yes. You should trust him. If I may say this to you, Saeyoung is one of the most trustworthy people that I know.”

Myung gave him a weak smile, standing up as she heard steps on the hallway. Even aware of the tense situation ahead of them, MC could not avoid laughing upon seeing her beloved boyfriend wearing her dress and a black wig.

“Hello, darling” he smirked, going in her direction. “I’m here”

He gave her a peck in the lips, feeling MC wrap her arms around his waist.

“Myung…” he called, hugging her back. “I promised you that I’ll be safe, didn’t I? I’m not going anywhere before making sure to punch at least one of those assholes back at Mint Eye.”

MC pulled herself a bit apart from him, looking into his amber eyes.

“I know. That’s why I need to give you something” she said, taking out the necklace that Areum gave her so many years ago. “Here, I want you to have this. A very special person gave this to me as a protective token. Now I’d like you to have it, to protect you from your father”

She placed the necklace around his neck, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Thank you,” he said. “Soon, we won’t have to worry about this anymore.”

The ginger boy turned around to look at V, giving him a shy smile, that was retributed by the older man.

“Make sure to come back safely. Your brother needs you” V said. “And thank you, Saeyoung. Thank you for talking to me”

“Don’t die until I come back” Seven joked. “Please, V. I need to be here to save your dumb ass”

V nodded, chuckling.

“Kid.” Vanderwood called. “You’re a pain in the ass, but make sure to make contact soon. Stay safe and out of trouble”

“Yes, Madam” Saeyoung answered, walking to the door, carrying the bag with his computer. “I’ll contact you soon” he turned to MC “I’ll send you a message, okay?”

“Sure” she paused, remembering something about her phone that she had long forgotten. “My phone was blocked. It's useless. Can’t you unblock it before going away?”

“Vanderwood will do it after I leave,” Saeyoung answered, cupping her cheeks with his hands. “I love you. I love you so much, Myung Chae. You’re my first and last love. Trust me in this, please. I’ll come back for you.”

“I know” she answered, feeling the warm tears falling down her cheeks. “I know you will. I love you, Saeyoung Choi. Remember this. No matter what happens, I love you forever.”

They knew what to do when Saeyoung opened the door. Act natural, as if saying goodbye to a friend. They did not know if they were being watched, so they could not take any risks. It took them five minutes until he entered the car and left. The longest five minutes of MC’s life. 

“Will he be fine?” she asked, walking back inside with Vanderwood. Her chest felt heavy, as if a rock pressed it back, not allowing her to breathe.

“Of course he will,” the ex-agent answered. “Now, come on. Give me your phone.” he said, snatching the electronic out of her hand. “And you, weird-hair guy, go lie down. You need to rest.”

V shook his head, laughing softly as he walked back to bed.

MC sat at Vanderwood’s side, watching him type fast on his computer, connecting her phone to it through a cable.

“So… Kwan Park?” Myung asked. “What will they find when they search for it?”

Vanderwood didn’t answer at first, looking through the data that appeared on the screen.

“It’s your real name, isn’t it?”

“If they search for Kwan Park they’ll find a normal guy that lives in a regular apartment and pays his bills. Maybe he has a ‘missing’ status as a child, if his parents bothered ever going to the police” he answered, typing on his computer. “I don’t know if that fits as my real name”

“I like it.” Myung said. “It means strong, right?”

“I don’t know” the ex-agent answered. “I’m not the sentimental know-the-meaning-of-your-name kind of guy. My parents for sure did not care about it, why should I?”

MC was silent. She did not want to bother him.

“I think that it fits.” she said in the end, leaning back on the chair and watching him work. 

The agent was much more silent than Saeyoung as he worked, but perhaps just as skilled. He typed fast on his keyboard, shifting his attentive gaze from the screen to the cellphone. 

“It’s all good to use.” he said. “I’ll just check the security part and block any remaining access that they may have, but you can use it already, just leave it plugged in my computer for the meantime.”

“Thank you!” Myung said, unlocking her phone and reading all the missed conversations on the RFA app. 

All of the members had tried calling her a number of times and left supportive messages on her phone. She smiled, seeing Jaehee’s frequent reassuring messages, always telling her that they were coming to help her, that she would be safe. Did Saeran read that? She wondered what he would have thought about it. Opening the chatrooms, she saw that Jaehee was online.

MC: Jaehee, hi!

Jaehee Kang: MC!

Jaehee Kang: How are you?

Jaehee Kang: I was relieved to see you last night.

Jaehee Kang: I hope that everything is going alright now.

MC: Well, we’ve had a few setbacks

MC: But I think it’ll be best for Saeyoung to talk about this

MC: It’s good to be back

Jaehee Kang: It is good to have you back

Jaehee Kang: I’m terribly sorry about Saeran

Jaehee Kang: All my prayers are directed for us rescuing him soon

Jaehee Kang: And I’d like to tell you that 

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han has already prepared everything

Jaehee Kang: for the rescue team to go to your aid.

MC: Thank you, Jaehee

MC: You’re amazing

Jaehee Kang: You’re too kind. 

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han is the one that had the ideas, I just follow his commands.

MC: I really don’t think that’s the case

MC: And even if it is, we’d never get anything done if it wasn’t for you

MC: Thank you very much

Jaehee Kang: I’m blushing >.<

“There’s something weird to your phone. I think that they blocked something that I can’t see… and I can’t unblock it either” Vanderwood murmured. “Hey, kid, do you have a signal?”

MC looked to the top of her phone, seeing the oscillating small bars.

“Yes. Everything seems normal here” she answered.

“Well, I’ll check on V while it finishes the analysis. Don’t disconnect the phone and don’t touch my computer.”

MC nodded, lowering her face to the cellphone once more.

MC: There’s no need to blush when it’s the truth

MC: You’re awesome

MC: I’ve told you this before and I’ll say it again, unnie

MC: You rock

MC: If Yoosung was here, I’m sure that he would be using

MC: that celebrating emoticon

Jaehee Kang: hahaha

Jaehee Kang: I’m sure that he would

Jaehee Kang: When everything wraps up, 

Jaehee Kang: Saeyoung must create emoticons for you too

MC: I already have all of them planned in my head

MC: :P

Jaehee Kang: Oh, something requires my attention right now

Jaehee Kang: Excuse me, please

MC placed her phone over the table, sighing as she leaned back on her chair. She couldn’t stop worrying about Saeyoung, running away all alone. She glanced at her phone, hoping to see a message from him, but it would take him a while. 

The girl stuck her hands in her boyfriend’s coat pockets, feeling a small piece of paper inside of it. As she pulled it out, she read:  _ Have faith. We still need to marry at the space station. _ Her eyes filled with tears and she saw such a kind message. Stupid red head. 

Someone knocked on the door, prompting her to get up.

“Kwan!” she called, considering it better to use the names that they had given to the prosecution. 

Suddenly, the door opened and five hooded figures came in. She recognized the cloaks and the mint colored eyes that stared at her. They were from the Mint Eye. MC pulled her phone from the cord, trying to rush to the bedroom as one of the figures jumped over her, making her fall on the floor. The girl struggled, yelling for Vanderwood as she tried to escape from the man’s grasp. 

She curled up on the floor, continuously struggling as she attempted to type on her conversation with Jaehee. She needed to warn her. MC listened to a gun firing, but she didn’t look. She had to call for help.

MC: Misdh

MC: Mint

MC: Mint hey

MC: Mint Eye

MC: herefj

The man pulled her by the hair, forcing the girl to stand. MC struggled, trying to free herself from him until she felt the cold metal touching her temple. She stopped. From the corner of her eye, she recognized the shape of the object. It was a gun. 

the man dragged her to the corridor, standing right at the entrance. 

“I’ll shoot her,” he said. “Drop your weapon or I’ll shoot her. Savior won’t care if we get rid of the girl that messed Ray up.”

MC was crying, shivering in fear as the man unlocked the gun.

“I’ll shoot!” he repeated.

“Stop,” Vanderwood said, coming out of the bedroom and dropping his own gun on the floor. He raised his hands, coming slowly in their direction. “I’m here, leave her alone.”

MC felt the man chuckle behind her, sending the other two believer’s to check the rest of the house while another one handcuffed Vanderwood. It didn't take long for them to return, dragging V through the house.

“Where’s the hacker?” the man asked the others.

“He left,” Myung answered. “He’s not here.”

“Are we stupid to you?” the man asked, making her turn around and look at him, without letting go of her hair. “Where’s he hiding?”

“I don’t know, he’s not here” Myung cried, receiving a slap in her face.

“Don’t lie to me!” the man yelled.

“He’s gone!” Vanderwood yelled. “Look, pal, just let go of her. The girl knows nothing, alright? He’s gone, but you’ll need her alive and safe if you ever want to get your hands in him.”

The man stared at Vanderwood and the older agent did not avert his gaze. Just like that, the three of them were dragged to a nearby car and thrown at the trunk. MC cried in the dark. Her hands were tied with a piece of rope that was hurting her skin. All she hoped was that Saeyoung was safe. He had to be safe. Her entire body was hurting from the fight. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, the air vanishing away from her way, making her gasp for oxygen

“Myung…” she heard a kind voice calling her name right before V pulled her into an improvised hug. His hands were tied too, but it did not prevent him from wrapping his arms around the girl. “Breathe. You must breathe. Listen to me, listen to my voice. We’ll be free soon. I know that I did not prove myself as worthy of trust, but hear me now. I believe in Jumin and Saeyoung. They’ll help us.”

He continued repeating the words for the rest of the trip, allowing the girl to cry against his chest. V couldn’t believe that Rika would come after them. When did things go that wrong? Perhaps it had been wrong from the beginning and he had never opened his eyes to see. The man sighed, rocking MC from side to side. She had been caught in the middle of a fight that was not hers and still had managed to do much more than him in the last few months. It was all his fault. Wasn’t it? Saeyoung’s words resonated in his mind. He would have to make a decision about how to act. V had to decide how he would deal with Rika.

As soon as their trip was over, the trunk was opened. Pairs of hands dragged them inside the tall building, pushing them through the hallways until they were back at the basement. The believers threw them inside a single cell after untying their hands before leaving them alone. MC fell on the floor, but as soon as she raised her eyes, she saw the small figure of the young man she knew so well, with discolored hair and a dirty white shirt, looking at her.

“Noona?” Saeran called.

“Saeran!” she ran to him, pulling her friend into a tight hug. She felt the boy sobbing while his arms wrapped around her, but she was just relieved that he was alive. “Saeran, I was so worried about you.”

She pushed him back, looking at his mint colored eyes. He was in terrible shape. Rika had clearly not been kind to him considering the bruises scattered through his body. How could she? After having to listen to that woman talking about him as if he were her son, MC would have expected that she wouldn’t hurt him like that. 

“I’m sorry” Saeran sobbed. “I-I’m so-sorry, noona. It’s my fault. The phone had a tracker and we- and I forgot to warn you. I forgot. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Shhh, don’t cry” MC hugged him again. “Don’t cry.”

V observed the boy. Rika… He felt something inside his chest, remembering Saeyoung’s words from before. _ “To love someone means to do the best for the person, not allow them to do everything they want” _ , he had said. Saeran was hurt, just like he used to be whenever they picked him up at his mother’s home. His kind boy, so sweet, so loving. Rika had done that, and he had allowed her to. V had known about Saeran’s presence on the Mint Eye for six months and had done nothing to stop her up to that point. Her darkness… She would always talk about that. But if her darkness was affecting those around them, wasn’t it the right thing for him to try and control it? Wasn’t it even safer for herself?

The man sighed, walking up to Saeran. His boy. He had let both of them down, the two children that he swore to protect.

“Saeran…” he called, watching the boy’s eyes turn to him. “I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you had to go through this. I’m sorry that I wasn’t the best guardian to you. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I should have come to help you as soon as I found out about Rika and I didn’t. There’s no need to explain because, in the end, there’s no explanation that will justify what I’ve done. I’m sorry, my child. I’m really sorry” 

_ Hyung. _

_ Why is he apologizing? _

_ He cares. _

_ He cares about us? _

Saeran stopped, letting go of MC, the trail of the tears still stained his cheeks. He felt that small boy inside of him cheering, the familiar feeling of seeing V-hyung after a long night, after so much suffering. Slowly, he reached out one of his hands, cupping V’s cheeks. He was so warm. He had always been warm. With his other hand, Saeran wrapped his arm around V’s back, hugging him for the first time in two long years. Just like when he was a child, he felt V’s arms around him while they cried. Saeran cried, cried, cried. He did not need to say anything, he knew that. It had always been easy for him to not use words. V whispered in his ear something that he already knew, but that was enough to send a thrill of hope through his spine.

“Saeyoung is coming,” V said. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	36. Jihyun Kim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No TW in this chapter

The four figures inside the basement cell were silent. Vanderwood had sat near the door, observing the hallway, ready to act if any threat came their way. MC was still, sitting by Saeran’s side, using a piece of cloth that she ripped from Saeyoung’s shirt to stop the bleeding on his hand. V was near them, in silence, attempting to find anything to say, trying to put his thoughts into place upon realizing that his former fiancé was not acting any different than the mother that used to torture the poor twins.

Hope seemed to be gone. Even if none of them said it, tension was palpable in the air, as if the fear of the future had formed itself into a mist that dawned over the prisoners, resonating in their minds in the form of a simple question: what now?

“Thank you, Noona.” Saeran said, looking at her. Slowly, he raised his hand, softly touching her cheek. “They hurt you.”

“I’m fine,” MC answered, holding his hand. “That’s nothing.” 

The girl took a deep breath. It had not passed a day since their escape before she found herself locked up in that place again, remembering the horrendous threats Rika had done a few nights before. She shivered, curling up inside Saeyoung’s hoodie. 

“What will happen now?” she asked, looking at Saeran. “Do you know what she’ll do to us?”

“Well… I think I do” he answered, scratching the back of his head. “I’m a traitor and you… Well, you ran away. I believe that Rika will make us go through a cleansing ceremony.”

“They’ll make us drink that weird stuff?” She asked.

“Yes, but, you see, I already had to drink the elixir a few times after you left. I had to go through the cleansing ceremony many times now. This one that she’ll perform on us is different, with a stronger elixir.” he looked deep into her eyes. “It’s bad, MC. Really bad. We’ll either turn into her puppets or we’ll end up dying.”

“Excuse me, what?” Vanderwood intervened, getting up. “Are you telling me that I’ve survived six years of dealing with your stupid brother in order to die to crazy cult lady?”

Saeran looked at the man. He did not know him, and still it was the second time that the man had appeared to help. He was Saeyoung’s friend, he knew that far. The young man lowered his head, angry, angry, angry at himself, disappointed for not being able to do something so simple as deactivating the tracker. How could he have forgotten that? How could he ever put it on the phone in the first place? Now they would all die and it would be his fault.  _ Idiot. _ Stupid Saeran. Stupid, stupid.

“I-I d-don’t know,” he stuttered. “I-I’m going through the cleansing ceremony for sure. It has been done before in traitors and in believers that had trouble in completely converting. About you… I really don’t know.” he looked back at MC. “She is really angry at you, noona. Rika blames you for my change. And V…” he looked at the mint haired man. “I really don’t know what she’ll do to you. She has talked many times about revenge and proving you wrong for abandoning us… But now I see that it was not you who abandoned her. She’s mad, but I really don’t think that she knows what she’ll do”

“We’ll get through this,” V said, holding the boy’s hand. “I worry about what will happen to you, that’s all”

“Hey, what about me?” Vanderwood exclaimed. “I do worry about what will happen to me!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know!” Saeran answered. “Maybe she’ll make you drink the elixir and see what will happen then?”

“I’m really not looking forward to that!”

“Vanderwood, calm down. Breathe, okay?” MC said, trying to calm him down.

“I am breathing!” he said. “In fact, I enjoy breathing and I want to do it for many years from now, so let's come up with a plan to stop crazy cult lady from killing us, yes?”

Once more, they were in silence. None of them could see a way out, there was no exit, no hope, nothing. It seemed to be the end. V sighed, leaning his back against the stone wall. Many times he had imagined himself giving his life in order to save his friends, but in the end, even in that he had failed.  _ “Can you even realize how selfish you sound right now?” _ , Saeyoung had said. Selfish. That was all that he had been. Selfish. The boys had been suffering for so long and he was the one that could have put an end to that. He should have, but he didn’t. Out of pride, out of arrogance, he didn’t. If he could only have sensed before what she was doing, if he had noticed, if he had had the courage to tell others about his mistakes, to admit to himself that he had never loved Rika. So many choices and all of them seemed to have been wrong. 

V raised his teary eyes, looking at Saeran. He had failed them. For so many years he had promised to keep the boys safe, to keep them protected, but in the end, he had been an accomplice of their misery. Why? He wished to help them. He truly did. V cared for the boys with all his heart and still it had not been enough. Why was his love, his passion, never enough? 

There was always so much for him, so many expectations for him to meet. For all his life, V had been dragged around by his father’s plans, his mother’s dreams, his friend’s worries. Deep in his chest there had always been a long lasting fear, the dread of ever disappointing anyone, of being living a lie that could not be amended and that, when discovered, would leave him abandoned and alone. 

_ Father had always had many plans for him. Mr. Kim was a strict man. Unforgiving, serious, he had teached Jihyun about business, that nothing is worth doing if it cannot generate a profit. Charity and arts were matters dedicated for idealists, people that had abdicated from their lives in a pathetic manner. From a very young age he had been teached so. He had learned that it was unworthy to do anything that wouldn’t serve as a direct benefit for himself, and he acted upon such knowledge. _

_ “Tell me, son.” his father had once said during dinner. “What is bothering you?” _

_ Jihyun was not older than fourteen at the time. It was a rather gloomy day after some boys had been disturbing him and Jumin at school. Still, his father would never approve of the truth. Mr. Kim would not accept that his son allowed others to pick on him, so the boy lied. Straightening his posture at the dinner table and raising his eyes from his bowl of soup, the boy said: _

_ “It’s nothing, father. I’m just a bit sentimental today, that’s all” _

_ He watched his father lift his eyebrow, in a swift and discrete manner that would not call attention and yet make it clear that there was something to be disapproved of in the boy’s answer.  _

_ “Sentimental… Tell me, Jihyun, what’s the interest of allowing yourself to be sentimental?” Mr. Kim asked. _

_ The boy froze, staring back at his father.  _

_ “I-I don’t know, father. It’s just… a feeling.” _

_ “A feeling… You see, son, let me give you a lesson for your life.” his father said. “Abstract values can shine only above practical values. And so are ideals, truth, impressions, creation, and arts. You can only discuss such abstract values once you have gathered a set of brilliant accomplishments in order to sustain them.” _

_ The boy tilted his head to the side, sending a puzzled look towards his father.  _

_ “Jihyun, sit straight, I’m talking to you.” father voiced, sending a chill down his spine and prompting him to correct his posture. “Look at every famous figure in history. All of them achieved memorable accomplishments and because of that their abstract discussions have become valid. Bareless people who trail this road the other way are what we call artists. They have fallen for abstract things and are haunted by poverty and desilusion.” _

_ “But father…” Jihyun called. “We work with the arts, don’t we?” _

_ “The arts are just a cog in our business. Our success is not determined by the artists, but by our wit of turning art into money. We are privileged to take interest in the ‘true emotions’ of desolate artists because we have social accomplishments that give us prestige among society. Pursuing truth and ideals while sacrificing everything is what poor, desolate artists do, not us.” _

_ Jihyun nodded, lowering his eyes back to his soup. Father used to teach him many lessons like that, preparing him for his future. It was his destiny to maintain the family business, work with his father and expand their control over the artistic industry. It had been settled from his birth.  _ And still, much had changed.

Time had shown him that destiny could, sometimes, be changed. Even if his father attempted to control his emotions and philosophy, teaching him how to become nothing more than a hollow shell, no one could have predicted that his only friend would play a major role in his change. A boy that had come into his life as a coincidence and whose friendship was approved by their parents as it signified a bridge between two of the greatest businessmen in Korea. 

_ Jihyun and Jumin were inseparable. Whenever they weren’t doing individual activities, they were together. Playing at home, on the street and even at school. They gave another meaning to the term best friends.  _

_ “Jihyun, may I ask you something?” Jumin asked when they were fifteen years old, sitting together at their school library.  _

_ “Of course, Jumin. You can ask me anything.” Jihyun asked, closing the book that he was reading. _

_ “I saw your mother at church yesterday.” Jumin said, looking at his friend. “She did not seem well.” _

_ “That’s not a question” the mint haired boy laughed. _

_ “She and your father do not have a good relationship, do they?” _

_ Jihyun raised his shoulders, rummaging through the pile of books, but even as he attempted to seem uninterested, something deep in his heart longed to know what was his friend’s point with all that. He knew that Jumin’s life had never been easy regarding his family. With his mother leaving and his father’s womanizer behavior, family was never a frequent topic in their conversations. Jihyun had always enjoyed it that way. He was also not fond of the theme. _

_ “I don’t know. I don’t think about it that much…” he answered. “She gave up everything after she lost her hearing, including me, so… Why are you asking about this?” _

_ Jumin pondered, his gray eyes gazing over his best friend as he leaned back on his chair. With a deep breath, the teenager sat straight, saying: _

_ “You’ve said that to me before, but… I’ve seen how she looked at you while we were singing in front of the entire church. She seemed really proud of you, as if longing to get closer, but never daring to do so. Her eyes had this spark… I don’t know how to describe them” _

_ “She’s never made any contact,” Jihyun shook his head. “I don’t know, Jumin. My dad has always told me to stay away from her.” _

_ Jumin was silent for a few minutes. Jihyun lowered his eyes back to the books, but kept shifting his gaze slightly, waiting to listen to his friend’s response. It was a surprise for him when Jumin stood up, picking five books from over the desk. _

_ “I’m late for a meeting with our math teacher, I’ll see you this afternoon back at home” he said. “Just, think about it. There’s nothing left for you except for your family. You only know your dad’s side of the story… maybe it would be worth it to know hers too. And at least treat your mother with some basic courtesy” _

Jumin’s advice had not gone to waste. Jihyun was terrified at his first visit to his mother, but even if he tried to convince himself that the sole reason for that was to follow his friend’s advice, Jihyun was, little by little, growing affectionate of the woman that had brought him to the world. Mother was not crazy like father had told him, neither was she delusional. She was warm and kind. So patient, so sweet. She tried to please him at every moment, no matter how awful he had been to her before. 

Mother showed him a world of colors, of beauty. The feelings, so despised by his father, seemed to grow warmer, more familiar and natural than before. Jihyun discovered that happiness did not only reside on academic success and that cooking with his mother and making her smile was even more comforting than being the best student in class. 

_ “I showed my drawing to Jumin today…” he said to her once. _

_ It had been a regular afternoon for them. Mother and son had cooked lunch, watching a movie on TV right after. Jihyun was watching her finish to bake him a cake when he said it before realizing that it was no use to talk to mother when she had her back turned to him. Cautiously, he jumped from the kitchen stool, walking towards her and giving her a soft poke on the shoulder. As always, she turned around smiling. _

_ “I showed my drawing to Jumin today” he repeated slowly, hoping that she could understand what he said. _

_ “Did he like it?” mother asked, signaling it with her hands as she attempted to say the words.  _

_ Jihyun scratched the back of his head, making sure that none of the employees were around before he answered mother. He did not need father to know that he had spent his time learning sign language to talk to mother instead of reading the business books he had been ordered to. _

_ “He said that the angle and expressions look weird.” he signaled while he talked. “I don’t think that I want to draw anymore. You say that I’m good at it, but I’m not” _

_ Mother smiled at him. “Jihyun, what did you think of when you were drawing?” _

_ “I wanted to draw something that you’d like,” he answered. “It’s good to receive your compliments, they sound…” he stopped, trying to find the right word. “different from father’s. I wanted to draw something that would make you smile and compliment me” _

_ “Then I guess this drawing isn’t yours” mother signaled back. _

_ “What?” he asked, before going back to signaling, worrying that he had said something wrong. “No, mom. The drawing is m-i-n-e” he spelled. _

_ Mother laughed, holding his hands and giving them a kiss. _

_ “This is a drawing you wanted to get compliments with, not what the true Jihyun drew, so you don’t have to be hurt about it.” _

_ “I don’t get it!” he signaled, having to stop to think before continuing. “If this isn’t my drawing, even if I’m the one who made it, what do I have to do to draw my own drawings?” _

_ Mother raised her hand, asking for him to wait. She turned around, pouring the cake on the pan and putting it on the over. Next, she took him by the hand and sat with him on the stools. _

_ “When you reveal your true self,” she signaled. “When you have enough courage to not be afraid of what others say. Then, you’ll be able to draw your true drawings.” _

_ She smiled, caressing his cheek. _

_ “You grow by cheering yourself.” mother continued. “The most important thing is to have courage to continuously draw. Then… one day your drawings will show the real you, and people will be drawn by that. So, Jihyun, everyday look into the mirror and give yourself courage.” _

_ “Everyday?” he asked. _

_ “Everyday.” mother nodded.  _

_ Jihyun lowered his head. Mother said things that were hard to comprehend. He felt that he had the answers, but could not completely hold them. The boy felt like a failure. Would he never be able to make her proud? _

_ Mother touched his cheek, leading him to look back at her. _

_ “Mommy loves you,” she said, stumbling through the words as she attempted to use her voice once more. Soon after, she turned to signaling, saying “But you should love yourself more. Then you can get back up again even when you fall. Life is long, my child. Even when you want to give up, you can hold onto it later. It’s always up to your courage.” _

_ She got up, taking his hand and guiding him towards the open window. The sun got inside, bathing the room in his warm light. _

_ “Look at the sun.” mother signaled. “Feel his warmth. Can’t you feel the strong courage that lights it up?” _

_ Jihyun nodded, looking at her.  _

_ “Inside, it must be filled with love,” she continued. “That’s why it bathes us with sunlight. We’re the same. We’re like the sun. If you have enough courage to express yourself, you’ll be able to truly love. That courage will be born within you. Promise me something, Jihyun?” _

_ He nodded again. “Of course.” _

_ “Love yourself sincerely. Treasure yourself the most. Don’t live for others but yourself. Like the sun…” she signaled. “Art for others, love others, but don’t let yourself get tormented by pain for others. If you do so, you’ll become a sun filled with love. You can do it, my dear son” _

Jihyun opened his eyes. Now, he understood. The promise that he had made for his mother so many years before, that he had suffered and struggled to convince himself that he had been living up to it. He looked at Myung and Saeran. At that moment, he understood the meaning of sacrifice, he comprehended what mother meant. It was time for him to make that drawing his own. With that, he pulled the two into a hug, allowing himself to be hugged back. He felt Saeran’s grasp on his shirt and Myung’s kind hand patting his back. Jihyun Kim took a deep breath.

“We’ll solve this,” he said. “Together. I’ll talk to Rika, but I’m not… I won’t be like before, I swear.” he said, pushing them back and kneeling on the floor. 

He bowed, taking his head deep towards the floor, touching it with his forehead.

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I’m so sorry.” he said. “I was selfish and prideful, unable to call for help as I could not admit that I had failed, and later on could not admit that I needed other people with me to fix what I’ve done wrong” he took a deep breath before continuing. “But if you’ll trust me once more, if you’ll give me the honor of allowing me to prove myself to you, I wish to say that now I believe that we’ll be saved. Not by me, but by the friends that I have neglected for so long and did not give up on me. I believe in them above everything, so this time I won’t promise. There is no need to do so, for I know that Saeyoung, Jumin and the RFA will come for us.”

He waited. Not raising his head until he felt two hands pulling him up. Lifting his eyes, he saw Saeran, his shy smile and teary eyes. He saw Myung, who took his hand and was quietly stroking it, silently saying everything that could not be put in words. 

“It’s fine, hyung.” Saeran said, kissing his forehead. “I trust you. You know that”

They hugged again as Jihyun cried. 

“Hyung, please, don’t cry,” Saeran cooed. “Don’t cry, hyung. We’ll be out of here. You said that to me and I trust you. I trust you”

Jihyun had taken years to comprehend mother’s words, but at that moment, feeling the warm words of those around him, he understood. For once he would allow himself to live in freedom. Love others, do good for others, but not torture himself for others. Stand for what he believed, defend those that he loved, and above all: cherish himself, for that was the only way to give love to those who mattered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!!!
> 
> Let's love and appreciate Jihyun Kim, please. I believe that he's a wonderful character and so worthy of redemption after everything that happened. I felt that we needed a chapter to explore him and close many of the open windows we still had so that he could be ready to what will come next.
> 
> I'd like to send a special thanks to my beautiful cousin/beta reader alwayssaywhatever (aka. biggest V fangirl ever), who bravely read this and gave me her amazing insights. Please, go give her fics some love, I absolutely adore all of them: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwayssaywhatever/pseuds/alwayssaywhatever 
> 
> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	37. Cleansing Ceremony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO TW

The prisoners did not know what time it was when the believers came. There were no windows on the basement, so it was impossible to even see if it was day or night. Time seemed to flow differently down there, especially since they were aware that they were waiting for their death sentence to be fulfilled. They were silent, waiting, listening to every sound, praying for help to come, hoping to hear the sound of their rescuers. But it never happened. 

When the four believers entered the cell, they immediately tied the prisoners hands. The rope hurt their wrists, too tight in order to prevent any movement of their hands. Each one was in charge of one of the prisoners, all of them sharing the same rudeness on the way in which they dragged them upstairs, pushing them throughout the hallway in silence. 

Myung was pushed to walk by Saeran’s side as they entered the hallway. Vanderwood and V followed behind. She looked at her friend, remembering to make the same path less than a week before, accompanied by the same boy that told her about the generosity of his  _ savior _ . Saeran was different. Even if his only physical difference were the bruises acquired on the punishment that he had received, his eyes had a new spark, the one that is present in those that are willing to fight for their lives with everything that they had. 

The doors of the great hall were opened, revealing the rows filled by believers that had their hoods on. The group was pushed to the end of the staircase, forced to kneel while Rika observed them from her chair. Saeran held Myung’s hands in the best way that he could. They had begun everything by holding hands, it seemed fit for them to end like that as well. And he would not let go. Never let go. 

“Isn’t this a fantastic night?” Rika asked, her soft voice was requinted with tones of cruelty and contempt, sending a chill down Myung’s spine. “The moon shines over our heads, signaling us that it is time to unleash the strength of the shadows over those that have been lost and forgotten.” she began walking down the stairs, taking her time as she enunciated every word. “Tonight, we shall leave the traitor and the enemies to fate. We shall test if they will join us in the shadows or if their bodies will long the light so desperately that it will take their lives.” 

As she reached the floor, the blonde woman walked slowly towards Saeran. He raised his head to her, cautiously pushing Myung behind him and watching Rika raise one of her eyebrows. She wrapped her hand around his hair, forcing his head back as he did not avert his gaze.

“You had everything in here, my child. Everything.” she said. “Such a useless weakling was transformed into a powerful resource for our cause, as we mercifully accepted you underneath our roof, allowing you to prove yourself worthy even if, many times, you faltered. All the resources and time we had to waste in cleansing after cleansing, hoping to put sense inside this little brain of yours… Just for you to pull the rug underneath our feet.” she pulled his hair even more, making some tears begin to appear on the corner of his eyes “And you became this useless figure. But do not worry, I’ll bring Saeran back”

“I  _ am _ Saeran!” he voiced.

The woman let go of his hair, delivering a slap on his face and making him fall back on the floor. Myung attempted to reach him, but she was held back by the believers.

“I’m tired of this little attitude!” Rika said. “I’m done with this. You… You are not the right Saeran. I don’t need  _ you _ ! I need Saeran and Ray!”

“You don’t _ need _ anyone!” Saeran answered. “You’ll never reach happiness through this. The void within you will never be fulfilled through those endless tortures and cleansings. You could control a country and you’d never be happy because what you seek will never be attained through this!”

“And what does a sickling like you know about what I seek?” Rika yelled. “You have never been useful to anyone! What would you know about needing something when no one has ever needed you? Did you forget this because of the crap this little bitch has been whispering in your ears, Saeran? Your brother abandoned you! V abandoned you! All you ever had was me and my care, but now you are being selfish and abandoning me, the only person that has ever-”

“Rika, that’s enough!” 

The solid, fruity voice resonated through the room, leading the woman to turn her head and stare at its owner. Jihyun looked back at her with his pained eyes, enraged for being forced to witness his ex treating his boy that way.

“That is enough, Rika” he repeated. “We’ve done wrong. We understood everything wrong. I must apologize, for I have not stopped you before, but this must end now. This madness cannot continue, you cannot keep hurting and torturing people in this way. There is another way that is not sacrifice, that isn’t pain, and even if it took us too long to see it, it’s a much brighter road than the one you are trailing right now.”

“V… Oh, V” she murmured, walking towards him. Slowly, she pulled him by his collar, bringing her face closer to his. “If I could go back, I would have made sure that, on the night that I hurt your eyes, I cut your vocal cords so that you could not speak anymore. You have always been unbearable.” she said, pushing him back. “Do not worry. We shall go back to the old days soon. But first, I must get rid of those nuisances.” she glanced at Myung and Vanderwood. 

Vanderwood had observed everything in silence. As the scene unfolded in front of his eyes, he attempted to find a way out for them, some manner to subdue their captors and create a safe escape route to the four of them, but as much as he attempted to find a way, he was only one person and he knew that he could not take all the believers. Even if they did not have any skill in a fight, most of them seemed to be armed and it would not take long for one of them to put a gun against his companions' heads once more. 

The woman got on his nerves. He had dealt enough with unstable people to know that she was dangerous, not because she had knowledge on how to be a threat, but because her lack of control made her absolutely unpredictable. When she held Saeran’s hair, yelling at the boy, Vanderwood felt the need to jump into action, but as he got ready to get rid of the cords, he felt a slight kick on his back, coming to realize that a believer was standing right behind him. Of course. They would not leave any of them unobserved, but they knew that their biggest threat resided on the ex agent. He sighed, remaining still in place.

“Myung… You do not know how glad I am to finally bring you here to be cleansed. And you even brought a bonus.” she laughed, analyzing Vanderwood “I’m sure that a former agent will serve us well here.”

Crazy lady, Vanderwood thought. Of course that they would be interested in him. He did not know how they had acquired that information, but based on their network and the technology used, it would not be hard to link him to Seven after the last days. He felt the believer behind him get closer, dropping something over his shoulder when the woman looked away, allowing the object to slide over the man’s chest and rest on his lap. Vanderwood quickly covered it with his hands, checking to see what it was while the woman turned her gaze to Myung.

“Shut up, Rika” Myung blurted out. She had guts, Vanderwood admired that. “Look at what you’re doing! Look at what you’ve done to Saeran! You don’t need any of us, you need some freaking therapy. We can help you with that, just let us go. Let everyone that you’ve imprisoned go.”

“Of course that I would love to be the one to do it to you, Myung” the woman answered, ignoring what the girl had said and holding her by her cheeks, forcing her to look up. “But I believe that after all the trouble you gave me, it would be much more thrilling to watch Saeran being the one to cleanse you.” 

Vanderwood held the object tightly in his hands, struggling to turn it around and seizing the opportunity of the distracted woman to take a look at it. It was a small switchblade with a note attached that read “Come on, Madam. We have work to do. I got your back” Vanderwood cursed the stupid redhead in his mind, feeling the supposed believer get away from him, imagining that goofy smile underneath the hooded robe. 

Rika laughed once more, turning to the believers “Take the traitor, he’ll drink it first. I must recover my child”

“Saeran, no!” Myung cried, holding his hand as two believers attempted to drag him forward. “Rika, leave him alone! This must stop!”

The girl was grabbed by the waist, being pulled back, away from her friend, and receiving a set of kicks on her ribs for the attempt to interfere. 

“Rika, stop this!” V yelled, being held back. “This is not the way, you’ll only complicate yourself later on. Stop this while it’s not too late for you!”

Vanderwood was also held by another believer, making sure to hide the switchblade between his hands, waiting for the right time to lose the ropes.

Saeran struggled, being forced to stand and having his hands untied. He tried to stop, but the believers were too strong and held him by his arms, dragging him forward and away from the group. Rika smiled as she watched, taking a bottle filled with a bright mint colored liquid.  _ We can’t drink that again.  _ He couldn’t drink that, he couldn’t, couldn’t. Saeran threw his body backwards, attempting to get away, but the believer held him tighter. There seemed to be no escape, no escape, no escape. 

Suddenly, a hooded figure attacked one of the believers, quickly leaving him unconscious. He jumped over the other, rolling with him on the floor, making sure that he fell far away from Saeran. The figure stood up, allowing the hood to fall and revealing his ginger hair while he backed away towards his brother.

_ Hyung. _

“Stay away from my brother!” Saeyoung yelled, holding a gun tight in his hands and pointing it towards the members of the Mint Eye. 

Without turning his back, he moved his hand until feeling the warm grip of Saeran’s hands around it. Saeyoung felt his eyes brimming with tears. It had been six years since he had last held those hands. 

“Saeyoung…” Rika called, smiling. “What do you think that you are doing?”

“Stay back!” he said, pointing his gun towards her. “Stay back, Rika.”

“Are you really going to point a gun at me? After everything that we’ve been through?” she asked without showing any concern. “Is this how you’ll retribute me after everything that I’ve done? After all the times that I didn’t allow you to starve or freeze by giving you food and warmth?”

“Shut up, Rika. Don’t do this, not to me” Saeyoung yelled. “You’ve hurt the person that I love the most in this entire world! You tortured my girlfriend and you’ve hurt my best friends. Don’t you dare try to make me feel guilty for defending my little brother from you!”

As soon as he ended his phrase, the believer that he had thrown on the floor jumped over him, rolling on the floor with the ginger boy. Saeran called for him, but another believer grabbed him by his back.  _ Hyung is in danger. _ He can’t save us now.  _ Let go of us. _ Let go of me, the boy thought, striking his elbow underneath one of the believer’s ribs. He listened to the sound of the person falling on the floor, but he didn't mind it.  _ Let’s help Saeyoung.  _ The boy turned around, looking for his brother, but as he located him, Saeran watched the believer manage to snatch the gun away from Saeyoung’s hand, putting the barrel against his shoulder and pressing the trigger. 

“Saeyoung!” Saeran yelled, running in his direction. 

Vanderwood almost ran to his aid upon seeing Saeyoung getting shot. He knew that it was a serious injury and his clock was running out, but he stopped himself. The commotion caused by Saeyoung had been enough for the believers to avert their attention from the group of prisoners. It was his chance. Think straight, he thought to himself. That was not the time to be sentimental. If he wanted to protect Saeyoung, he would have to be smart. He held Myung back, realizing that the girl was ready to run towards Saeyoung.

“If you want to save him, you’ve got to listen to me,” he whispered, looking into her eyes. 

“He’s dying!” she whispered back.

Her worlds made his stomach swirl. Focus. He held her hand, showing her the switchblade.

“Trust me. He’s given us a chance to help. Let’s seize it while we can”

The girl nodded, waiting for him to cut the rope around her wrists.

The believer prepared to point the gun at Saeran, but with a wave of hand Rika told him to stop, allowing the younger boy to reach his twin. With a peaceful expression, Rika watched as Saeran kneeled near his crying brother, caressing his ginger bangs and sending a horrified stare at his brother’s bloody shoulder.

“Saeyoung…” he cried. “I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry”

“Hey, little bro” Saeyoung chuckled, grunting in pain. “You’ve grown up a bit”

_ Stupid brother.  _ Saeran looked up, seeing Rika walking in their direction, taking the gun from the believer’s hand. He got closer to his brother, determined to not allow her to lay a finger on him.

“Ah, Saeyoung” she chanted, turning the gun in her hands. “I should have imagined that you’d cause me trouble. Always a little troublemaker, weren’t you? Getting in fights and stealing things to take to your brother… I imagined that you would be more thankful to me after everything, but the two of you truly never deserved anything, you ungrateful bastards.” She looked at them, fury and disdain filled her eyes. Her cautious and frivolous manner was vanishing, giving place to a frantic behavior that she desperately attempted to hide. She stared at the boys, a sinister smile forming on her lips “Let’s see how well you two shall behave after I give you the elixir. It must work in at least one of you. I should have done this a long time ago, but I’m not making the same mistake once more. ”

“Rika” a strong voice called, making the woman frown as she turned to face her former fiancé. “Stop.”

Jihyun stood up. Limping as he walked towards her. It was time to end what they had begun. No believer stood on his way as she did not give them any order to do so. Even if mortified, the tall man stood in front of the blonde woman, studying her features, absorbing the nature that she had struggled against for so long.

“I’m sorry, Rika” he said. “I’m sorry for everything that we’ve been through. I’m sorry for having held you in a relationship without love, a relationship in which we were only using each other as we forced ourselves to believe that we had found what we were looking for. We were prideful and arrogant, so I must apologize for all the pain that this has brought upon you.”

“Stop saying this” she snared in between her teeth, throwing Saeyoung’s weapon to the side. “You loved me. You promised that you would forever love me! I felt it”

“I believed that I loved you!” Jihyun answered. “But I didn’t. I didn’t, Rika. It seemed like the right thing to do. I needed someone to give my love to and you desperately needed to be loved. We were too broken to see that love is a give and take relationship. We give, but we must receive as well.” he got closer to her, watching her eyes get filled by tears. With pity in his eyes, he cupped her cheeks with his tied hands “We were merely confirming each other’s existence, without any knowledge or experience about love.”

“You’ve promised me!” she yelled, pushing him back. “You promised me that you would love me forever, every single part of me! I believed in you!”

“I believed in what I said” he answered, “But now I see that this promise could never be fulfilled, because there was never love. We were obsessed with our own traumas and needs, unable to look at each other. I realize this now and it’s time that you do too”

Rika shook her head, backing away from him. She turned around, taking her shivering hands up to her hair and pushing it away from her face. 

“Why would you tell me this now?” she inquired, turning back to him. “Why would you promise something that you cannot even keep?”

“I’m sorry, Rika. I believed that was the answer back then” Jihyun took one step towards her.

“If you didn’t love me… If that wasn’t true love” she murmured, her voice not more than a desperate whisper hissed by her throat “Why are we even here? Why am I here? I created Mint Eye, saved all those people… but what for?” she turned to him, grabbing him by his collar once more “Why am I here, V?” her cry was desperate, tears falling from her lost eyes as she strived for an answer “You’re not my light? How can this be? Remember what I told you? I told you that one day I’d hurt you, but you embraced me, you told me that it wouldn’t matter because we loved each other, that I could be showered in darkness and your light would never fade away, that your love would never change. I was happy to finally be who I am for the first time in my life, and now you tell me that was a lie?” She let go of him, stumbling to walk. “If you’re no light, then what’s the point of me being darkness…”

“Rika, I’m sorry. I’m terribly sorry about this.” Jihyun said without moving away. “We were just the same, equally traumatized and lost. We must move on now. I’ve wronged you and for that I’ll apologize. But please, those boys do not have anything to do with our broken relationship. Look at them” he said, pointing towards the twins “Remember how much we cherished them, how happy they made us when we were together. They don’t deserve to suffer. So let them go. Let us all go, Rika. A part of healing is letting go. We can help you, I can help you.” Jihyun shivered, daring to take another step towards her “Just let all of us go, including yourself. You need help, not from me, not from the RFA, but from a professional. It’s time to move forward.”

Rika looked at the two twins, watching how they stared at her, fear and anger stamped in their eyes. Saeran had helped his brother to sit, holding him in his arms. 

“Yes” Rika murmured, walking towards Jihyun “It’s time for us to move forward and finish this broken relationship for once”

The woman pulled a knife from inside her robes and, without ceremony, pierced it in his chest. Jihyun gasped for air, falling on his knees with the pain. He couldn’t breathe, blazes of pain running through his body, debilitating his movements. He fell on his left side, the knife still in his body.

“Rika… ugh” he murmured, but the pain was too strong and his body was already weak.

The woman began laughing. Such joy had been rarely felt by her, the thrill of finally ending an unpleasant situation. She laughed and gargled, rejoicing with the figure on the floor, unaware that Myung stood up, running towards the twins that were shouting Jihyun’s name.

“I’m here,” MC whispered, pulling both of them into a hug “I’m here”

Rika glanced towards the man once more. Soon, her problems would be over, but still, the joy left her heart as quickly as it came, giving space to the realization that had never crossed her mind.

“V… If you die, who am I supposed to curse? You can’t die, V!”

By the time that joy became despair, Vanderwood pinned her to the floor, holding the hysterical woman before she could turn her murderous gaze to anyone else. He heard the commotion of the believers, the sound of them pulling out their weapons, but soon, another sound came through the room. The door was busted open and a group of men with military gear came through. Vanderwood focused on holding the girl still, hoping that the others were fine. 

Myung heard buzzing in her ear, crying and shivering as she and the twins held each other close. Saeyoung’s conscience was fading away, the smell of blood sending chills to Myung’s spine and making her stomach swirl. 

“V…” the ginger boy murmured. “Where… We need to help him”

Myung lifted her eyes, but she couldn’t reach the mint haired man that was still fallen on the floor, unconscious. Shots were being fired between believers and Jumin’s rescue team, people were screaming words that her brain could not even process anymore. All they did was to keep holding each other in silence, too afraid to move. 

They did not know how long it took. A few minutes, they discovered later on, but it felt like hours. Their cue that hell was over just came when Vanderwood kneeled by their side, putting his hand over Myung’s shoulder.

“It’s over” he said to her. “They took Rika away and we must go too.”

“Saeyoung…” Myung began to cry, but was silenced by the former agent once more.

“There’s people here to take care of him. Let them take him now.” he looked to Saeran. “Come on kid, the doctors are here. They took V and now they need to take Saeyoung too. He needs help”

Myung watched the paramedics kneel by their side, taking Saeyoung from Saeran’s arms and putting him on a stretcher.

“I’m his brother,” Saeran said. “Can I go with him?”

“You’re all going to the hospital to be examined,” the paramedic answered. “You three will go on another car”

Saeran held Myung’s hand, feeling her thumb brushing his skin. His clothes were covered by his brother’s blood, but he did not notice. He felt numb, as if a storm had passed and he was the remaining result of it. He could still listen to her screams, and the gunshots, and V crying on the floor. He held her hand tighter, feeling his breathing accelerating, his heart beating stronger. Myung cried. He listened to her sobs and made sure to hold her tight in his arms when they were walking. It had been too much for all of them. They did not know exactly when they entered the car, time and space seemed to be far away from that point. But they knew that Vanderwood did not leave their side until they reached the hospital. An entire team was waiting for them and only then Myung let go of Saeran’s hands, as she was led to her room.

. . .

Myung walked through the hallway in her hospital robes, holding her small plastic cup with tea in one hand and her cellphone in the other. The doctors had allowed her to take a walk on the ward that Jumin had reserved only for the people involved in the Mint Eye rescue. Former believers, injured members of the rescue team, everyone was being treated and examined there. It had not been long since she arrived, just a couple of hours, but she was the first one to be released. V was undergoing surgery, Saeyoung too. Saeran had done some exams, but the amount of toxics in his blood was high enough for the doctors to order another set of exams. They would all stay in there for a while. Vanderwood had been released already, just like Myung, as they did not have severe injuries. The former agent promised that he would just get some of his electronic devices to keep track of the agency and the twins father, but even waiting for him to come back was making Myung anxious. 

She looked down at her phone, staring at the last chat that she had with the RFA. They were all coming to the hospital, they had said. She did not know what to do when she finally saw them in person, especially in those conditions. She had hoped to meet them at the party, and not at a hospital ward while she hoped for her boyfriend to live.

Without notice, Myung heard a male voice screaming her name, but before she could turn around, she felt two arms wrap around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She had no reaction at first, but soon the familiar voice resonated in her ears:

“Myung, I was so worried about you! I’m sorry that I was not there to protect you” Zen cried, pressing her tighter against his chest.

“Hey, buddy” she giggled, “How are you doing, Zen?”

As he let go of her, Myung could see the rest of the group getting closer, starting by the dark haired figure that came in their direction sending a disapproving look at Zen.

“How ungraceful for you to greet her in this manner” Jumin scoffed “It is expected for you to depict an uncivilized behaviour, but you could be at least courteous when it comes to a recent victim of trauma” 

“Dude, are you even speaking Korean right now, because I did not get a word from that” Zen rolled his eyes.

“Of course you didn’t,” Jumin said, turning to look at Myung. “I’m glad to see you well, Myung. I apologize for Zen’s behavior, but you’ll see that the rest of the RFA is much more civili-”

Jaehee and Yoosung immediately hugged the girl, interrupting Jumin in the middle of his sentence and making him sigh.

“We were so worried about you!” Jaehee said, cupping her cheeks with her hands. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, unnie. Just tired, but fine” MC answered. 

“When you left those messages, Jaehee-noona was sure that there was something wrong” Yoosung said “So she told Jumin-hyung, who called Saeyoung. They were so fast planning everything. They told me and Zen when the rescue team was already leaving to Mint Eye. We’re lucky that everyone is alright!”

“Dude, V was stabbed” Zen called out. “And Saeyoung got shot”

“I meant alive!” Yoosung answered. “At least no one died!”

Myung giggled at the younger boy. 

“Thank you all for coming. It was… stressful.” Myung took a deep breath “Thank you very much for coming here”

Jaehee pulled her back into a hug, gently brushing her hair with her fingers. MC didn’t want to, but before she could control herself, she was crying. Tears fell down her cheeks as she sobbed inside of the old woman’s embrace. Everything had happened too fast, too intense. She closed her eyes but could still see Saeyoung being shot, V being stabbed, and feel the uncontrollable fear of being about to face her own death. 

“Shh, calm down, sweetheart” Jaehee cooed. “Let’s go back to your room, you should rest for a bit. I’ll stay there with you, if it’s okay with Mr. Han”

“Of course, Ms. Kang” Jumin nodded. “Myung and the others are our priority now. I shall go talk with the doctor in charge, I must discuss some confidentiality matters.”

“I’ll go with you,” Zen said. “I want to know everything that’s going on with the guys” he turned to Yoosung “You, go with Jaehee-noona and MC. They need you. Be the man that they need”

“Uh, a man?” Yoosung stuttered, but as soon as he looked into Zen’s menacing gaze he straightened his posture “Yeah, a man. For sure. I’ll do that.”

The two men watched the group walk away. When they were too far to listen, Zen turned to Jumin.

“Something is bothering you. I can tell.” he said “What’s going on, trust fund kid?”

“The prime minister is too interested in us. We must make sure that he never finds this hospital” Jumin answered, looking back at Zen “I am aware that things are not going well between us since our… time together, but may I ask for your help?”

Zen nodded. 

“We can’t leave them alone here. We’ll set shifts and stay here to make sure that they are safe” Jumin proposed “Do you agree?”

“Agreed,” Zen said, taking another look at the halway. Suddenly the white walls were not peaceful, but a reminder that their troubles were still not over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, tldr, lot's of stuff happening, Saeyoung is my stupid husband and that's it.
> 
> Allow me to shamelesly self promote myself, alright? Are you curious about Zenny and Juju's talk in the end? Why don't you check out my fic called 2am where you'll find more information about them in this timeline that I'm creating? I'll just leave the link right here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870777
> 
> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	38. Meet the RFA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: minor spoilers of Bad Jumin DLC (don't remember if that's the right name, but you know which DLC I'm talking about)

“Thank you for coming so quickly, Ms. Chae” the doctor said.

“Oh, it's nothing” Myung answered, “I was just grabbing a cup of coffee downstairs, your nurse was really fast finding me. So… what's wrong with Saeran?”

The two women were standing in the hallway, a few meters away from his bedroom door. It had not been long since Saeran's exams were over, but the doctor in charge had decided that he would stay in the hospital for the time being after the test’s results showed a high amount of toxins in his blood.

“He is refusing treatment” the doctor explained, pushing a loose strand of her long hair to her back “He refuses to take the intravenous and oral medication, as well as the psychological evaluation. The psychiatrist came to talk to him, but he refused to do so. All he does is demand you and ask us to see his brother, but we can’t allow his request to happen before he accepts treatment.”

“I see” Myung murmured, holding her own hands tight. “I’ll talk to him. The medicine is for what, exactly?”

“Many different purposes, miss.” the Doctor said “He has a deficiency in his immune system, his body is undernourished, he has a fever. Besides, we must begin to cleanse his body from those toxins and help him endure the withdrawal symptoms.”

Myung nodded. “I’ll talk to him”

Before going in, Myung knocked on the door three times, attempting to use the small seconds she had to imagine a way of convincing her friend to take the treatment proposed by the doctors. Taking a deep breath, the girl opened the door, hoping to find him in bed, but for her surprise he was anxiously pacing around the room.

“Saeran, what are you doing up?” Myung asked, placing her cup of coffee and purse over a nearby chair before walking towards him “Please, sweetheart, let's go back to bed”

“N-no. I-I c-can't, I can't, I can't ” he stuttered. “They… T-Those people want to give me medicine, and I don't, I don't, I don't want to take it. I can't, can't, can't. Please, noona. Please, I want to see my brother. Please. Please.”

“Saeran, breathe” she said, cupping his cheeks with her hands. “Breathe, sweetie. Let's take small steps, okay? I want to understand what’s happening, but for that we need to talk. Why don't you lie down and then we talk? Can we make this little deal?”

He continued crying, hunching like a scared child. Myung pulled him into a hug, caressing his back and feeling his weight over her arms.

“Come, sweetie. Come to bed” she whispered, guiding him towards the bed, waiting for him to lie down before covering his legs. He decided to stay seated, but it was fine for her. “Now, Saeran… Your doctor told me that you are refusing treatment”

“I don’t want to put strange substances in my body again. I don’t want to, I don’t, I don’t” he cried, looking at her. “I can’t lose myself again. I’m not, not, not letting this happen again”

“They want to help you, Saeran. It’s not like the elixir” Myung said.

“ _ Well, the elixir was also supposed to help, but it was a lie! _ ” he yelled, covering his mouth afterwards and lowering his head. “I’m so-sorry. I’m sorry, sorry. It’s ju-just that… everytime that I- That Rika forced me to drink, to drink, to drink t-that, she-”

Saeran stopped. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t, couldn’t breathe. When he saw the nurse coming in with the IV bag, attempting to connect it to his arm, forcing him to swallow those suspicious pills, he panicked. Suddenly Saeran couldn’t think, couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, breathe, breathe anymore because he knew what would happen if he took medicine, he knew that someone could do exactly what Rika did to him.

Myung sat by his side, embracing him with her warm hug. She gave him many kisses on the head. Saeran loved, loved, loved kisses on the head. For a while, she did not say anything. The only sound that could be heard in the room was Saeran crying in her arms.

“I want to see my brother, Myung” he cried. “I don’t want to stay here and I don’t feel safe to take anything from this place. I’m so scared, so scared, so scared of losing myself again. I can’t hurt you again, I can’t, I can’t”

“Shhh, I know, honey” she cooed, brushing his hair with her fingers. “We’ve been through a lot. I can’t prove to you that the medicine is safe, but I can tell you that Jumin was the one who arranged all of this, and I trust him. Remember everything that you searched about him, you know that he’s a criterios man. He would never bring us here if there was any risk of people doing something bad to us”

“I-I hurt his friend. I hurt V. What if he’s angry?”

“He isn’t. He’s worried about you, everyone is.” she said. “No one is angry at you.”

“What if they try to make me go away forever?” he cried. “I don’t want to change again. I can’t change again.”

Listening to him sobbing shattered her heart. She wished nothing but happiness to her friend, but his battles were not over yet. The demons that tormented him still lurched near.

“Saeran... “ Myung sighed. “No one will hurt you in here. I’m with you now. Please. The medicine will help you get stronger, healthier. It’s just like the medicine that Saeyoung gave you when you were kids.” she brushed his hair once more “Those are good medicine. They won’t let you see Saeyoung if they don’t think that you’re healthy enough to do so, and the only way is to take the remedies”

“I’m scared,” he shivered. “Ray and Saeran are so scared too. They keep saying… They keep saying that they don’t want to take the medicine. They keep saying that they’ll hurt us again”

“I won’t let this happen.” Myung said. “I’ll make sure that what they are giving you is real medicine. Alright? Can we make a deal? I’ll be here with you every time that anyone gives you something”

“Even when the psychiatrist comes?” he whispered. “I don’t feel safe talking to her. She judges me.”

“I can’t stay here during your therapy session, I’m sorry” Myung said. “They don’t allow me to. Did she say something bad to you?”

“When she came in I had a panic attack and asked them to bring you here. She barely got to say a word. I don’t want to talk about what happened. She’ll judge me, I know that she will”

“Therapy does not mean talking specifically about what happened. She’ll just help you sort your feelings out. Why don’t you try talking to her once, and if you don’t like her, we’ll ask for another professional?”

Saeran let go of her, wiping the tears away from his face. He forced himself to nod. He had to face that if he wanted to see Saeyoung, so he would.

“Thank you for trusting me” Myung smiled, holding his hand “You’ll be better soon. Saeyoung is still going through surgery, V as well. I’ll tell you as soon as I hear some news. Now, Saeran, I need to talk to your doctor for a bit”

“No” he held her hand “I-I don’t want to stay alone in here, MC”

“I imagined” she nodded “So, I asked someone to make you company while I’m away. They are really nice and will be amazing with you”

“Who?”

“Zen and Yoosung, from the RFA”

Saeran vehemently shook his head. No. He did not want to. He couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t face those people. He curled up over the bed, looking down towards his legs. They would hate, hate, hate him for everything that he had done.  _ Idiot.  _ Saeran was stupid, stupid, so stupid to have done so many mean things. 

“Saeran” Myung called with her softest voice “They are crazy to meet you. Why don’t you at least meet them? I’ll stay here the entire time. If you feel comfortable, you tell me that I can go, if you don’t, just say something and I’ll tell them to leave. What do you think?”

_ No. They might be nice. They are stupid like you. We could make friends. We don’t deserve friends. _ Saeran pushed his hair back, away from his eyes. The two figures in his mind kept fighting and he couldn't think, think, think. He knew that meeting with the RFA was unavoidable, but everytime that he pictured those people, they looked at him with hatred and disdain.  _ Pathetic. _ He had wronged them so many times, in so many ways. He invaded their private lives, their intimacy. He attacked their messenger. They should be thinking so low of him. And in the end the conclusion was that he was just a stupid weakling,  _ stupid, stupid. _

“They will hate me,” he said.

“They won't hate you, Saeran. Never” Myung answered “Please… Trust me. They can't wait to meet you.”

He looked at her. Saeran did trust noona.  _ She might be tricking you _ . No. Noona would never do something like that. She had never done something against him. Noona was kind, kind, kind, and she cared about Saeran so much.

“Alright,” he answered. “You can call them here.”

Myung smiled at him, picking up her phone and opening the bedroom door, sticking the upper part of her torso outside. She waited there for a few minutes before opening the door wider, allowing the two young men to come inside before closing it once more.

“Hey!” the blonde boy smiled, coming towards Saeran “You’re Saeran, right? Wow, your hair is so cool! Is it bleached? I had to bleach mine when I dyed it, but it did not look cool like yours… or did you use some paint over it?”

“Dude, chill” Zen said, pulling Yoosung back “You’ll end up freaking him out like this. Do you want him thinking that we’re all dysfunctional losers?”

“Are you calling me a dysfunctional loser?” Yoosung asked.

“No, I’m just saying that he’ll have this impression if you don’t chill”

Saeran watched them talking. It was so different from following their moves through a computer screen, analysing every record, each bit of information to write a report for  _ her. _ They felt real.  _ They feel nice. _ Saeran looked at MC as he felt his heart beating faster in fear, but her encouraging smile was enough to calm it down. They were nice. With that he allowed himself to smile for a bit, watching the two men argue in front of him.

“Just let me do the introductions, okay?” Zen said to Yoosung, turning around to face Saeran “So… Saeran, huh? I’m Hyun Ryu, but you can call me Zen, everyone does.” he bowed “And this little guy by my side-”

“I’m just three years younger than you,” Yoosung grumbled.

“This is Yoosung Kim” Zen continued, ignoring the angry stare Yoosung sent towards him “We’re here to make you company while MC is out and get to know you. So, how old are ya?”

“He’s 20, like his twin brother, our friend” Yoosung answered.

“Will you just help me out for a bit?” Zen voiced. 

“Now you’re the one who’s making us sound like dysfunctional losers!” the blonde boy complained

Saeran laughed, covering his mouth with his hand.  _ What are you doing, idiot?  _ They were nice. Seeing him laugh, Myung smiled in relief. She knew that if there were people that could cheer him up, they were those two. 

“Huh? You’re laughing?” Zen asked, looking at him. “Oh, well, at least we made ya laugh.” he chuckled, pulling a chair near the bed and sitting down “So, come on dude, talk to us. How are you feeling?”

“I’m… fine” Saeran said, making his best not to avert the older man’s gaze, but despite his efforts he was soon uncomfortable and lowered his eyes to the bed “I-I’m sorry for giving you trouble to come here”

“What? You didn’t give us trouble!” Yoosung exclaimed, taking another chair and seating near Zen. “We were so worried! I mean, when Myung told us that you had stayed behind in the Mint Eye, Zen literally spent the entire night talking about how he should have followed Saeyoung when he left to the mountains and that he would be a great reinforcement. He also talked something about Myung and a beast, but I didn’t get what he meant by-”

“Dude, I don’t think that he wants the details! Chill!” Zen voiced. 

Myung laughed, keeping a vigilant watch over Saeran. She was worried about the boy and seeing him smiling was a small pinch of peace to her heart. 

“You two were worried about me?” Saeran asked, looking at them. “Why?”

“Well, Saeyoung is my best friend. If you’re his brother, you’re my best friend too. Besides, you sound really cool” Yoosung smiled. “You’re not into pranks, are you?”

Saeran chuckled. “No, I-I’m not”

“Wow, you just got even cooler!” Yoosung exclaimed. “Because you know, your brother is getting really annoying pranking me all the time”

“He pranks you this much?” Saeran asked, and Myung could see the faded shape of a smile forming over his lips. “Could… Could you tell me a bit about my brother?”

“Of course!” Yoosung said. “You’re talking with the right guys, we know  _ everything _ about that jerkish redhead.”

Saeran looked at Myung and nodded. She could go. He was fine. After so long, Saeran knew that everything would be fine.

. . .

Jaehee looked into the paper bag, making sure that she had gotten the correct flavour of donuts. She had already checked it after paying for them and once more as she got inside the elevador, but she wished to make Saeran comfortable and the young woman knew that giving him the right flavour of donut would be a start. 

As soon as Myung opened up the bedroom door, Jaehee opened up a smile, giving her the bag.

“Here it is, just like you asked me!”

“Thank you, unnie!” Myung thanked. “I’m sorry for asking you, but I don’t want to leave him alone again and Zen left with Yoosung, so…”

“It’s fine, Myung. You do not need to thank me for that. I’m really glad that he’s finally eating something” she smiled.

“I’m relieved too” Myung smiled, leaning against the doorframe. “Have you heard anything about Saeyoung and V?”

“I’m sorry, I haven't,” the chief assistant answered. “I believe that they are still going through surgery, but the doctor said that they’ll inform Mr. Han as soon as they are transferred to their rooms.”

Myung nodded. She felt terribly worried about them. Her stupid boyfriend and the man that had beared more secrets than he could keep. Part of her still felt betrayed, because he knew that Rika was involved from the moment that she first entered the chatroom, but kept lying about her suicide. Still, some fights were not hers. If the twins decided to forgive him for everything, she would follow. All Myung wanted was for them to be fine. 

“Do you want to meet him?” Myung asked. “I’m sure that he’d like to thank you for smuggling donuts for him.”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Jaehee hesitated, “Won’t he be uncomfortable? I wish to send him my best regards, but I don’t know if it will be appropriate.”

“He’ll be happy” Myung smiled. “Let me check with him if it’s okay.”

Myung walked into the room, leaving the assistant waiting at the semi-open door. She peeked inside, seeing the male figure sitting in bed, attentively looking at Myung with his mint colored eyes. He looked very different from Saeyoung, but Jaehee knew that it was thanks to the substance Rika forced into her believers' bodies. As Myung came back, Jaehee averted her gaze from Saeran and looked into the younger woman’s eyes. 

“He said that you can come in.” Myung smiled, opening the door and allowing her to go inside.

The hospital room was not much different than any other that Jaehee had seen. Light-colored walls, clean floor, a small table at the bedside, an armchair and a couple of chairs. Still, the male figure in the bed called every bit of her attention. His discoloured hair, mint eyes, the frail body hidden underneath the hospital clothes and the covers. He looked at her with a mixture of fear and doubt. She had expected that it would be something like that. Jaehee too did not know how to talk with that young man, the brother of a friend that she cherished so much and still the person that invaded their chatroom not more than some weeks before. 

“Hello, Saeran. I’m chief assistant Jaehee Kang and it’s a pleasure to meet you” she said, opening up her most comforting smile.

“Hi…” he answered. “Umh, thank you for the donuts”

“Oh, you’re welcome. I hope that they are of your liking, I bought them at my favorite coffee shop. They have many different sweets and beverages, it’s an adorable little place” she chuckled. “I’m sorry, I believe that I got too excited about the shop and got carried away for a bit”

“It’s okay.” Saeran smiled. “It must be really good, you seem to have a good taste for food”

“I hope you like it” she said “But if I may say, it would be good for you to also eat the food that the hospital gives you. It’s much healthier than bakery sweets.”

“It’s just… I really li-like sweets” Saeran answered, lowering his eyes to the bed “The food here is… Well, it’s not so tasty.”

“Then let me propose a deal with you” Jaehee said, formally placing her hands behind her back “If you agree to correctly eat your meals, I’ll bring you one sweet from the bakery everyday. What do you think?”

Saeran smiled and his face was covered by a bright shade of pink, making MC laugh.

“Deal!”

. . .

Someone knocked on the door, making Saeran jump on the bed. He had almost drifted away in his sleep, but the noise brought him back to reality, far away from his dreams. He sat up, pushing his bangs away from his face as he turned to look at the door.

“Come in,” he said, smiling as he saw noona coming in, but soon the serious expression came back to his face, because the girl was followed by Jumin Han.

_ Why is he here?  _ The boy did not know. One part of him was happy, so happy, so happy to see Jumin after so long, but his mind kept yelling at him, saying that Jumin Han surely hated him for hurting V, for invading the messenger, for kidnapping Myung.  _ We weren’t the ones who kidnapped her.  _ It would never matter for him. Jumin was objective, he knew that.

“Hi, Saeran.” noona said, coming towards him. “Look, Saeyoung has been transferred to his room now. V too. They are still unconscious, but I’ll go talk to his doctor about the surgery and his recovery. It won’t take long, I promise. Meanwhile, Vanderwood is in the room with Saeyoung. Jumin said that he wanted to talk to you, so I wondered if it’s okay for you if he stays here making you company while I’m out. What do you think?”

_ He hates us now.  _ Saeran didn’t want to. He was ashamed, ashamed, ashamed of what he had done and he knew that Jumin would be mad.  _ I don’t want people to get mad at me. _ Still, he had to be nice, otherwise noona would have trouble taking care of his brother.  _ Stupid Saeran.  _ So stupid.

“Sure” he agreed. “I-I can do that”

He was such a nuisance.  _ Stupid nuisance. _ He was giving her more and more trouble.

“Thank you, Saeran!” she smiled, turning to Jumin “I won’t take long. Please, be nice. I know that you have a little soft heart in there, use it”

“I do not comprehend what you are saying. Have you been spending some time with Zen?”

Myung laughed before leaving, closing the door behind her. 

The two men were in silence. Jumin looked at Saeran. Saeran looked at the bed sheets, unable to find words that could express what he was feeling, unable to say everything that he wanted to. So the white haired boy began through a familiar path:

“I’m sorry” he whispered, loud enough for Jumin to hear.

“For what?” the older one asked.

“For… For everything. I’m sorry for everything” Saeran’s eyes were filled with tears “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

The boy hunched, keeping his head low in an attempt of not looking at the man. He was afraid, so afraid.  _ You’ll be punished for that,  _ mother’s voice echoed in his mind, sending a shiver down his spine.  _ So stupid, Saeran Choi. _ He shouldn’t have done what he did, he should never have done anything.  _ You can’t do anything right.  _ He tried to hurt hyung, Jumin, Myung, even his own brother. So much shame, shame, shame of what he had done. 

A hand touched his shoulder and as Saeran raised his eyes he found Jumin sitting in the chair near the bed, smiling at him.

“Apology accepted. It’s been a long time, Saeran”

The boy felt his lips tremble and by the time that the sob reached his throat, he threw his arms around Jumin, allowing himself to cry. Saeran liked Jumin-hyung so much. He missed him. He missed him, he missed him because Jumin-hyung never lied and he could be so kind, so kind, so kind but even those memories Rika had managed to rip apart. She had taken away everything that Saeran cherished and loved. 

Jumin was not used to physical demonstrations of affection, but Saeran had always been an exception. He had never grown so close to the boy neither had that much contact with him, but the times that they had met had been enough for him to comprehend that Saeran not only liked physical demonstrations of affection, he craved them just like a dying man seeks oxygen. Hugs were the child’s lifeboat in the middle of a heavy storm, the most effective way of communicating that he was safe, and Jumin would never be so cruel to deny him that. 

“I’m sorry, hyung” Saeran whispered once more. “I’m sorry”

“You have already apologized. It is fine, Saeran. I am not mad at you” Jumin reassured, tightening his hug “I am not mad at you.”

Saeran sobbed, but Jumin was patient and he did not let go of him until he was done crying. 

“Are you feeling better now?” Jumin asked, getting apart from the boy.

Saeran nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Much better”

“Good” Jumin smiled. “It is good to see you again. I was rather worried about how it would be for you to meet our members after everything, but it seems that I am the only one that made you cry, which is an astonishing revelation considering that was what I wanted to talk to you about”

Saeran chuckled, covering his mouth with his hands.

“How are you feeling, Saeran?” Jumin asked.

“I’m… okay, I guess. I’ve been worse.” he answered “Myung is really helping me, everyone is. Thank you for arranging everything and, well, for saving us”

“There’s no need to thank me. I have done what I believed was right” Jumin said. 

“No, there  _ is  _ a need. You could have just abandoned us and you didn’t, so thank you. You are very kind.”

“People keep saying this to me and I do not comprehend why” Jumin complained. “I’m not  _ kind _ . I am a businessman, that’s all”

The white haired man looked at him, smiling.

“Sure, if you say so…” he took a deep breath “Hyung, do you think that I’ll be able to see Saeyoung tomorrow?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll do my best to arrange that,” Jumin answered. “Why don’t you rest until Myung comes back with news about him? You had a rough day, you should rest”

Saeran nodded, laying back in bed. He was safe. For once, he was safe. Everyone that could hurt him was far away and Saeran was safe. 

. . .

_ Saeran stared at the sky. He loved watching the clouds travel through the air, so fluffy and dreamy. They reminded him of his brother and the times that they ran away from home just to look at the sky or share an ice cream cone. Saeran missed Saeyoung so much. Now he did not have to run away anymore, because mother had been the one to leave him. Now he had hyung and noona. They were much better than mom in every single way. Sometimes, Saeran wished to forget about her, about her mean words, her aggressive hands, her loud voice, always so loud, so loud that it kept resonating inside his mind, making his heart race so fast that it would hurt, hurt, hurt. He did not like remembering mom, but he liked remembering Saeyoung. So even if looking at the clouds reminded him of a dreadful time when he couldn’t do so, it also reminded him that Saeyoung was under the same sky as him and that made him happy, happy, happy. _

_ He heard footsteps coming towards him, startling the sixteen years old, that raised his head. He saw Jumin walking through the front yard, coming in his direction, and allowed himself to fall back on the grass once more. Saeran liked Jumin a lot too. He had met him a few months before, but made sure to talk a little bit with him every time that he visited. Jumin was nice, nice, so nice. _

_ “Good afternoon, Saeran” the man greeted, stopping by his side.  _

_ “Hi, Jumin” the boy answered. “You came to visit hyung?” _

_ “Yes. I came to deliver an offer to buy some of his pictures, it was delivered by a friend of my father and, consequently, I was asked to talk with him about the subject.” he said “Can you tell me where he is?” _

_ “He went to the market with noona, but he’ll be back soon” Saeran answered. _

_ “What are you doing?” _

_ “Watching the clouds… Do you wanna sit here with me, hyung?” Saeran smiled. _

_ Jumin looked at the grass, as if attempting to remember something that he had done a long time before. With a deep breath, he sat down near the boy. _

_ “Why are you watching clouds?” Jumin asked. _

_ “Because they are nice and fluffy. I like clouds a lot” _

_ There was a two minute pause before Jumin replied: _

_ “I do not comprehend. Why don’t you stay inside? It’s dreadfully hot here” _

_ Saeran looked at Jumin, sitting up. _

_ “I was feeling claustrophobic inside. I don’t like feeling like that, so I came outside for a bit.” _

_ “I did not know that you have claustrophobia”  _

_ “It’s just a bit” the boy shrugged, pushing his bangs away “It’s just that… mom did not let me go out when I lived with her. And… And there’s other stuff that she did too. It was bad.” he looked away from Jumin. Saeran hated talking about mom “I just don’t like closed places” _

_ Jumin kept looking at him, Saeran could feel the man staring at him, but he did not like that. He regretted ever saying that. Why did he tell that to Jumin? He should be sounding pathetic for sure. _

_ “Saeran, if I may ask… Did Jihyun or Rika take you to a psychologist?” the man asked. _

_ Saeran shook his head. _

_ “Is that a doctor?” _

_ “It’s a kind of doctor, but he helps you to figure out your feelings and how to deal with them.” the man answered. “I believe that you could benefit a lot from it. I was claustrophobic when I was a child and I treated it in therapy.” _

_ “You were?” the boy asked, “Why?” _

_ “Something similar,” Jumin answered. “I’ll recommend a psychologist to Jihyun. Tell him to take you to her if you want it, okay?” _

_ Saeran nodded, falling in silence afterwards. He knew that he couldn’t go out of the property. No one could know about him, but he couldn’t give that excuse to Jumin. It was better to let hyung explain. _

_ “Jumin-hyung” he called. “Do you want to watch the clouds with me until V-hyung and Rika-noona come back?” _

_ Jumin looked at him. _

_ “It would be my pleasure.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For me, it was really important to explore Saeran's reactions right after Mint Eye regarding the hospital and the members of the RFA. To deal with past events and traumas is not an easy journey, but it's one that he'll have to face if he wants to move forward.
> 
> Also, if you like Jumin's interactions and where I'm taking him, I suggest that you take a minute to read one of my favorite fics, Wine and Cigarettes, by alwayssaywhatever: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903921/chapters/62952157
> 
> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	39. Onward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got a small delay because of my classes, but now we have a brand new chapter yaaaay
> 
> TW: Child abuse (twins flashback) and use of offensive language regarding disabilities. The one with m and other with r.

_ Saeran woke up with mother yelling. He had been asleep since Saeyoung left to buy groceries, just like his brother advised him to do. Mother was in a bad temper that day, she had already yelled at him once because he laughed too loudly of Saeyoung’s joke, it would be better not to disturb her again, and taking a nap was a great way to stay out of her way.  _

_ He was startled at first, sitting up quickly as he was sure that it was at him that mother was directing her anger. The twelve year old looked around, trying to find her and prepare himself for whatever she was about to do with him, but as his brain adjusted itself to being awake, Saeran realized that it was not with him that she was angry. _

_ “I asked you to do only one thing!” she yelled from the kitchen “How come you failed even on that?” _

_ “I-I’m sorry, mom” he heard his brother cry “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” _

_ “Fucking moron!” mother yelled and Saeran heard something hit the floor. It was probably his brother, he knew that. Even if he could not see him, Saeran could clearly imagine mother’s threatening figure towering over him, always so mean, so mean, so mean. “Couldn’t you run away? How can you be so stupid that you can’t even watch your surroundings? For sure you took a dangerous route just to get here faster because of your retarded brother” _

_ Saeran kneeled on the floor, trying to see inside the kitchen, but his foot was tied to the water pipe. Soon the rope pulled him back and all that he could see was mother’s scary back turned at him. He wanted to know what had happened to Saeyoung.  _

_ “I-I didn’t. I didn’t, mom, I s-swear. It h-happened just a few streets before the junkyard, I swear. I had bought everything, I was going to the shop to buy your cigars and the men cornered me, it was not my fault!” Saeyoung cried “But I got the cigarettes with some money that they didn’t take. I bought it!” _

_ Suddenly, the explosive sound of his mother’s hand lashing against his brother filled the room. Saeran covered his ears, fully aware that there was nothing that he could do to make her stop, that his brother’s whimper would continue until she got tired of hurting him. _

_ “Stupid boy. Give me this shit!” she yelled “I’m dying of a headache and thanks to you I won’t have a single aspirin to take and make it go away. Go to your fucking corner and stay really quiet there. When I’m feeling better I’ll make sure to teach you to never get robbed again” _

_ Saeyoung walked out of the kitchen. His face had a few dark spots and surely others were already appearing in the rest of his body. The cut on his lips was still bleeding and Saeran could not tell what was done by their mother and what was the result of whatever had happened on the street. Saeyoung was limping, looking down and crying, crying, crying, Saeran did not like when his brother cried.  _

_ Without saying a word, Saeyoung kneeled in front of Saeran, accepting the hug that was always prepared when he got back home. He curled up against his brother’s chest, painfully sobbing and shivering while Saeran stroked his hair.  _

_ Truth was that the body healed much faster from a beating than the mind did. The body dealt with pain, with bruises, with dark spots. The boys were used to that. Every cut stopped bleeding at some point, every mark disappeared after a few days. But the mind did not heal like that. The mind stayed trapped in the beating for hours, days, months. It remembered every kick and punch, every cut, every burn, everything, and it constantly reminded you about it. They knew that well. _

_ “What happened?” Saeran asked. “Was it father’s men? Did they hurt you?” _

_ “I was robbed, Saeran” Saeyoung whispered back “Some bad men cornered me and took the groceries and the money that I had.” he wiped his tears away “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” _

_ “Why are you saying that you are sorry? They were the ones that were mean to you! Don’t cry…” Saeran cooed. _

_ “I bought a bowl of soup for you. I know that you are hungry and I was going to give it to you, but they took it too. I’m sorry for not being able to take care of you. I’m so sorry, Saeran” _

_ The younger boy sighed, pressing his lips against his brother’s cheek in a kiss. He loved Saeyoung so much.  _

_ “Thank you for taking care of me” he said “But you don’t need to worry about that. I’m just happy to have you back home. I don’t care about the soup.” _

_ “But you’re hungry…” _

_ “You’re hungry too. I know that you are, even if you don’t say” Saeran interrupted, pushing his brother back in order to look in his eyes “You don’t need to sacrifice for me. You always say that things are fine if we’re together. Well, we are together right now” the younger boy smiled “That’s all that matters to me.” _

_ Mother came back from the kitchen, dropping a closed bottle and the pack of cigarettes over her mattress. Upon seeing her, Saeran flinched, hugging Saeyoung tighter. He was terrified of mother. Saeran knew that he was the spare one. She had two of them, one was meant to be disposable and she made it clear that it had always been him. Therefore, he knew that she would always have freedom to hurt him as much as she wanted to and this scared him more than anything in the world. Mother was his biggest nightmare, the monster that was not hidden in the closet, but that walked throughout his house and controlled the rope around his ankle. Still, he had to be strong for Saeyoung. His brother was already past his limit, he knew that he should take care of him and protect him from her. _

_ “So fucking stupid” she muttered, throwing the objects over the mattress and turning to look at them “And in the end I’m the bad mother. I’m the one who had to hear your annoying pleads for food to this stupid moron and what did I tell you?” she asked, coming in their direction “What did I tell you, Saeyoung? Stop crying and fucking answer me.” _

_ Saeyoung pushed himself up, wrapping his arms around Saeran, adjusting his brother protectively against his chest. He knew that mother had a tendency to backlash at his twin when something went wrong because that was how she could hurt him the most.  _

_ “Y-you told me to do the groceries and that we could e-eat the chicken you’d make for dinner” Saeyoung whimpered, hugging Saeran tighter. _

_ “All you had to do was buy what I told you to!” she yelled “It shouldn’t be hard, but I couldn’t even get one functional child. All I have under my roof are two stupid morons that cannot do anything! And in the end, you talk as if I’m the bad mother. I told you that if you bought the groceries, you’d get to eat. I gave you the opportunity, all you had to do was not fuck everything up” she scolded, pulling the loose rope from the wall and attaching it around the older boy’s ankle “But no, you had to make this bullshit and come sobbing home because you managed to get mugged. Stop struggling!” she yelled, pinning his leg to the floor “Fucking dumb boy. Don’t you want to eat? Are you trying to make me look like a villain? This useless bastard of a brother that you have will end up dying earlier than he should because you can’t fucking do anything. You can’t even take care of him, even if you like to spend your day yelling around about what he needs. So tell me, Saeyoung, am I the villain? Or is it you that cannot do anything right?” _

_ “Stop” Saeran intervened. “You’re being mean to him. Just stop” _

_ Silence fell over the house for one second. Only one second. Saeyoung pulled Saeran closer to his body, his shaky breath accelerating even more. They were in danger. Real danger. Extreme danger. The boys knew that.  _

_ “What did you say, Saeran?” mother asked. _

_ “He didn’t say anything,” Saeyoung said. _

_ “Anything” the boy echoed, curling up even more against his brother. _

_ “No. You wanted to express your opinion, something that I did not even think that you were able to do since you never open this fucking mouth of yours.” mother said, pulling him apart from Saeyoung “What did you say?” _

_ Saeran hunched, shaking his head. He shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t have talked. He shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t have opened his mouth.  _

_ “Mom, please-” Saeyoung began to say, but she pushed him against the wall. _

_ “I’m not talking to you,” she murmured. “What did you say to me, Saeran?” _

_ “I’m sorry” the child whimpered “I’m sorry. I’m sorry” _

_ “I’m being mean?” mother shook him “I’m a bad mother? Is that what you think? Do you want to sleep inside the closet again to see how bad I can be?” _

_ Saeran cried harder. He couldn’t breathe, breathe, breathe. _

_ “N-no. N-o, I don’t.” he sobbed “I’m sorry, mom. I shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t have said that. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry” _

_ Mother scoffed, dropping him back on the floor. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t, couldn’t breathe even after Saeyoung hugged him tight. Saeran sobbed, sobbed, sobbed ready to feel mother’s hands wrapping around his arm again and dragging him away. Go away, he thought, go away, go away. _

_ “Can’t you talk without repeating shit like this?” she scoffed “Stupid child. You two can say goodbye to food for a while. And Saeyoung…” she pulled the boy by the hair “You better get smarter if you want your brother to stay alive. I have two of you to get money from your father, so you know that one is the spare.” _

_ She got up and walked to her mattress, lighting her cigar and opening the bottle while the two children held each other in the corner. Saeran shivered, shivered, shivered uncontrollably. Mother was mean, he knew that, but sometimes she got even meaner than she had been before. He was the spare. He knew that he would die first. _

_ “Don’t listen to her” Saeyoung whispered. “Mom is stupid. She is stupid, she doesn’t know what she’s saying.” _

_ “Saeyoung…” _

_ “Mom is stupid” the older boy repeated at the same time that his voice broke. “You won’t… She is wrong. She is wrong” Saeyoung said, giving a kiss to his brother’s head “I’m here to protect you. Nothing like that will ever happen.” he began rocking Saeran back and forth, feeling tears fall from his own eyes “Nothing will happen. Nothing will ever happen to you. I won’t let anything ever happen” _

Saeyoung opened his eyes and Saeran was gone. They were not at Mint Eye, his brother was not hugging him any longer. All he remembered seeing were the lights, so bright and cold over him. His shoulder was hurting, but he couldn’t remember why. He remembered Myung and his brother, so close to him, so warm to him. He didn’t know where he was, but it didn’t matter. He was too sleepy to think, so he closed his eyes once more and everything faded away.

. . .

Vanderwood sat still by the bedside, watching the red head breathing slowly in his sleep. The man sighed. He was tired. He hadn’t really slept since they were taken to Mint Eye and between deleting the last connections they had with the agency and doing his best to keep hiding the twins from their father, the former agent felt his energy being drained away. The executive guy, Jumin, had spoken to him earlier about the Intelligence Unit. They were dealing with many attacks that they believe that came from the Prime Minister’s group. Of course, Vanderwood had done his best to help them control that, but right there, in the hospital, watching Saeyoung sleep, he did not want to think about any of that. He needed to focus on the kid, on his brother, on the girlfriend. 

It would be a lie if Vanderwood said that he wasn’t worried. Even with Saeyoung’s recovery, they were still in a bad situation with the Prime Minister. The man seemed to have surrounded them by all the sides and was only tightening his grip before there was no room left for escape.

Saeyoung groaned in bed, pulling Vanderwood away from his thoughts. He stood up, walking up to the bed. The doctor had told him that the kid would wake up soon, so he anxiously waited as he watched him move his head from side to side until he slowly opened his eyes. 

“Wasn’t I supposed to wake up to the sight of my loving girlfriend?” the redhead murmured.

“Do you want me to put you back to sleep? I can punch you really quick and then call her here for when you wake up” Vanderwood answered, remembering why his life was always calmer whenever Saeyoung was asleep.

“I’m good” Saeyoung laughed, rubbing his eyes with his left hand “What happened? Where’s Saeran?”

“He’s safe. He’s here in the hospital, receiving treatment. You’ll get to see him soon, now you need to stay under observation because of your arm. In fact, they said that it was quite serious, they had to… Well, I don’t know the names of stuff. But your shoulder got messed up and the doctors fixed it.” Vanderwood answered. 

“Right. It hurts a bit” Saeyoung chuckled, letting a pained groan out as he sat up “What happened after I was shot? I just remember Rika really… Well, really losing it”

He remembered Rika sounding like their mother.  _ The two of you truly never deserved anything, you ungrateful bastards. _ How could she? Saeyoung was furious, so furious with her. How could she have done all of that to them? 

“Hey kid, come on, let’s not think about that,” Vanderwood said.

“Wait.” Saeyoung looked at him and said, “Did she stab V? Or was I too out of my mind?”

Vanderwood took a deep breath, pulling the chair closer to the bed. That would be a long talk.

“Yes, she did.” he raised his hand before the boy could begin talking again “He’s fine. He has undergone surgery and is recovering in his room. Jumin and Zen are taking turns on staying with him, but Jumin is the one that stays in that room the most. He’s safe, okay?”

Saeyoung nodded. Rika… He was so angry at Rika. So angry, so furious. 

“You’re doing that face” Vanderwood mentioned.

“What face?”

“The face of when you’re pissed off”

“Wouldn’t you be?” Saeyoung asked “I mean… Look at what she did to me, to my brother, to my… well, V. She used us, she manipulated all of us, Vanderwood, and I can’t tell for how long this has been going on”

“You shouldn’t waste time thinking about that”

“No, I need to because she separated me from my brother.” Saeyoung interrupted, pushing his bangs away from his face “She was the first person that wasn’t my brother and showed me any resemblance of affection. I can’t avoid thinking that it was all a lie. Especially since I got to see her treating my brother and me just like our crazy mother used to.”

Vanderwood held Saeyoung’s hand, looking deep into his eyes.

“Kid… it hurts, I get it. But right now you don’t need to get stressed about her. You need to rest, so that you can see your brother.” he smiled “Come on, kid. I was really scared just a few minutes ago, chill alright? The worst has passed.”

Saeyoung nodded. He could understand what Vanderwood was telling him. He knew that the older man was right and deep down he appreciated that Vanderwood had been worried about him, but he found gratefulness something too hard to show, so he said:

“So, umh, I kinda hacked some of the investigation that the Prosecution was making about me, just to, you know, delete everything and make them sob in despair, and I discovered that they actually searched about you and Myung with the names that you gave them” he opened a crooked smile “How you doing Kwan Park?”

Vanderwood sighed. “I take it back, I prefered it much more when you were asleep”

“I found out your real name, yes!” he cheered, making a small dance in bed “And it wasn’t even that hard. You know, my father is an asshole and I hope that he rots in jail, but I’m thankful for him sending a team of stupid prosecutors to find me, because I can finally have the glory of saying that I know the real name of Ms. Vanderwood.”

Vanderwood groaned, rolling his eyes. Stupid kid. Still, he was happy to see Saeyoung being annoyingly energetic instead of laying in bed unconscious.

“Can I call you Kwan from now on?” Saeyoung asked.

“Do you want to go back to sleep?” Vanderwood asked back.

Saeyoung laughed once more. The older agent liked Saeyoung’s laughter. Stupid kid.

A knock on the door interrupted the moment, but as Myung Chae walked in, Saeyoung's smile grew larger than before. She was safe. He remembered receiving a kiss from her before being taken to the ambulance, but it was completely different to be able to see her smiling back at him, her eyes sparkling because of the tears. She came closer, slowly at first, but soon she was running towards him and as soon as she reached the bed, Myung pulled Saeyoung Choi into a kiss. 

He wrapped his arm around her and, at that moment, feeling Myung’s hug, Saeyoung cried. It hadn’t dawned to him how traumatic it had been to fight with Mint Eye’s believers, to confront the woman that had always been a motherly figure to him, to see V getting stabbed, to be shot and feel that he would die in his brother’s arms. But Myung was safe, he was safe, and Saeran and V should be safe too.

“I was so worried. So worried” Myung murmured between her sobs “I love you. You know that, don’t you? I love you.”

“I love you too” he murmured, placing his good hand over her cheek “You look even more beautiful, did you know? I didn’t think that this was possible, but… God, it’s so good to see you”

She chuckled, sniffling as she attempted to dry his tears.

“I’m so happy to see you awake” she said “Everyone was worried. Yoosung is almost panicking completely in the hallway. Zen is in Saeran’s room right now, but he didn’t stop asking about you. And Jaehee and Jumin kept an open eye all day, they were the ones that told me that your surgery was over”

“Those guys are… amazing,” Saeyoung smiled. 

“I’ll give you two a few minutes,” Vanderwood smiled, standing up. “I’ll be outside, but I’ll be back with Yoosung”

They waited until he closed the door to hug again. There was silence in the room and yet all the words were being said. 

“Can you just stay here with me?” he asked “Just… together?”

“Honey” she gave him another kiss, sitting by his side in bed, allowing Saeyoung to lean against her “It’s everything I want. Let me tell you a bit about what happened…”

Saeyoung smiled and, with much attention, he watched the love of his life narrate the recent events.

. . .

Someone knocked on the door. Saeyoung sighed, putting down the book that Myung had brought. It should be one of the doctors again with more pain killers. He hoped for it to be one of the nurses with his dinner, but it was too early for that. Almost a day had passed since he had woken up and it was already a fact for Saeyoung that a hospital was the most boring place that he had ever been to. 

“Come in,” he said, leaning against his left arm in order to sit up. 

He turned to the side in order to put the book away over the table, unable to see as the person walked in, silently closing the door. As he turned around again, he was petrified, as standing in front of the door was his brother. Saeran looked at him, clenching his own arm tight.  _ Breathe.  _ His anxious eyes traveled from Saeyoung to the floor and back to Saeyoung once again.  _ This is a stupid idea. _ It all seemed easier when Saeran decided to do it, but looking at his brother, he did not know if he could. Part of him wanted to exit through that same door and curl up underneath his bed sheets, but he did not do that. He stood still, still, still, watching Saeyoung, his ginger hair, his amber eyes, his pale skin. He had not changed much from six years before.

“Saeran…” Saeyoung called. “Saeran, I-”

“I-I t-think… I think that I s-should speak first” Saeran interrupted, taking a deep breath. “P-please. L-let me speak first.”

Saeyoung nodded. He had so much to say, so much to explain, but he knew that it was not his time to do so. His brother had been left in the dark for six years, he had suffered more than Saeyoung had ever imagined, it was only fair that he got to talk first.

“Of course. I can listen, I’m really good at it” he took a deep breath too “Do you want to sit?”

“No” Saeran shook his head.  _ This is a disaster already. _ “I… I’m fine. I mean, I-I’m not, but-”

“Saeran, are you sure that-”

“ _ Just let me- _ ” he stopped. No. It was his brother. He had to be the one to talk to him. “I’m fine. And I really need to say things, so, I think that it’s important that I do it now, before I listen to you, before I-I….. Before I think, think, think about what you’ll say… Just let me talk.”

He lowered his head, feeling his heart beating inside his chest, drumming in his ears. He could do it.  _ We can’t do it. _ He had no plan, he had not prepared. And that was fine. After so long, he finally had the chance to say everything to Saeyoung, to speak, speak, speak everything that was in his mind, and he would do so. He needed, needed, needed to do so.

“You abandoned me.” he blurted out. 

Silence followed. Saeyoung looked as if he had received a punch in the face and it broke Saeran’s heart, but he had to talk to him, he couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t keep it inside any longer. The words that seemed to not come to him were suddenly flooding his head and mouth, feelings transforming in letters as they climbed up his throat. 

“I was miserable for so long. That w-woman tortured me for so long until they saved me from her house. S-she said so many horrible, horrible, horrible things, such terrible things to me about you, about us, about how I made you leave because you hated me so much, that at some point I was not even sure if my memories of you were correct.” he said “When V and Rika began taking care of me, it all came back. I remembered you and everything that you had always told me, but it still did hurt, hurt, hurt. It would hurt so much because you were not there. It would hurt because all of those promises turned into lies because you were not there.” Saeran lowered his head as his voice broke. He was crying, but for once he did not want to control the tears “Even when I lived with them and my life was no longer a torture, everytime that I laid in bed, I cried, cried, cried, because every single day I grew more certain that I would never see you again. I was left in the dark about you for six years, and all they would say was that you would come back, that you missed me, that you were doing that for me, but not once I heard a word from you!” he looked back at his brother, seeing the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Not once. And then… Then Rika came and…” 

Saeran couldn’t continue. He couldn’t, he couldn’t. It was too bad, too pathetic. He couldn’t talk about Mint Eye. He couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t talk about what she did to him.

“I’m sorry.” Saeyoung said. “I’m sorry, Saeran. I-I thought that I was doing what was the best for you. I wanted to protect you, I wanted to take care of you”

“Well, you didn’t have to!” Saeran blurted out “I never needed you to protect me, Saeyoung. I needed  _ you.  _ If I lived for so long it was because  _ you _ were there. It did not matter how terrible our mother was being to us, when you were there everything went away. The hunger, the pain, the fear. Everything. But suddenly you were not there anymore. I was alone and terrified in the hands of that horrible, horrible, horrible woman and that killed me. Not her. She could torture me as much as she wanted to. What was killing me was the fact that my brother, that I loved so much, was not there and I didn’t, didn’t, didn’t know what had happened. For two months I was sure that you were dead. That our father had taken you and killed you.” he fell on the chair, hiding his face in his hands, sobbing. “Do you know what this feels like? To suddenly lose the most important person in your life and be sure that he is dead?”

It did hurt. Saeyoung lowered his head. He had always dreaded this moment. Before he imagined that Saeran had at least been safe. That the talk would be easier because his brother had experienced nothing but happiness for six years, but of course he hadn’t.. Stupid Saeyoung. What was he thinking to do that? To leave his brother? He felt like the dirtiest creature alive. It seemed such a good plan at the time. Saeran would be safe. But in the end he was as miserable as he was.

“I’m sorry.” Saeyoung said “I-I don’t know what else I can say, Saeran. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving you. I did it because I thought that it would be the best for us, because I was so scared of you dying in that house. But now I look back and I see that… I see how blind I was by trusting people that I shouldn’t have. By putting their judgement over mine.” he looked at his brother’s eyes “There’s nothing that I can say that will change what I’ve done. There are no excuses, no apologies that can justify so I won’t, I can’t tell you that I was right. I believed that I was, but I wasn’t. I was wrong. I trusted people in a decision that they knew nothing about. They knew nothing about you, about our mother, about-” his voice broke as he stopped to breathe “about how you always cried during the night and loved songs before we went to sleep. They did not know anything and I was so desperate that I blindly believed that they would save us, because the last thing that I wanted was to watch you die in that house. I was so blind trying to save you that I thought that I was the only one suffering, but I wasn’t. Now I know that I wasn’t and I’m so sorry”

They cried in silence. The words have vanished from their mouths and their broken hearts were the only ones able to talk. They sobbed for the past as they felt the burning heat of the present and where it all had led them to be. 

“I-I needed that” Saeran said, nodding “ I needed, needed to hear that.”

Saeyoung looked at him. Saeran was so thin. The dark bags made a sad frame underneath his eyes. He was so different. MC had told him about the effects of the drugs, but seeing his brother was completely different than imagining it based on what she said. Still, his eyes had that same spark that he knew so well, he still repeated words like he had always done when they were kids, always three times in a row. 

“She made me hate you.” Saeran said “Rika. S-she made me… She made me believe that you hated me. I didn’t want to, but- Everything was so blurry for the past two years. I-I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”

“Why are you saying that you’re sorry?” Saeyoung asked.

“Because of the messenger?” Saeran answered “And… the apartment thing. And Myung. I-I-I just… I’m sorry, sorry, sorry about those things. I didn’t want to, and still another part of me did. I’m sorry, Saeyoung, I shouldn’t have-”

“Saeran, listen to me” Saeyoung called, turning around in bed. “No one is angry because of that. At least I’m not, so please… Don’t apologize. I’m the one who should be apologizing for things, not you.”

“No. No, I have to…” Saeran took a deep breath “I have to apologize. I did bad things, Saeyoung. I wanted, wanted, wanted to hurt you. And even if Rika made me think those bad things, they came out because hate and resentment were inside, inside, inside of me. And I hurt Myung and V. I hurt your friends in the RFA and I said bad, bad, bad things about all of you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Saeyoung.”

His brother continued crying, curling up over the chair. Saeran was not fine, Saeyoung knew that. As a response, Saeyoung turned around as much as he could, feeling a sharp pain go through his arm, but he did not mind that, his stitches would have to wait. He held his brother’s shaking hand, speaking softly. 

“Saeran. I’m holding your hand now, okay? You tell me if you want me to let go and I will. Listen. Listen to my voice. You don’t need to apologize for that. I’m so happy that you are here and that you are away from that place. I’m the one who owes you apologies, but you do not. You never owed me anything, nothing.” he looked at his hand, surprised to see that Saeran was still holding it tight “I don’t know how much this means, but I’m here, okay? I wasn’t and I’m sorry for that, but now, if you’ll allow me, I’m here for you. If you want it, I’m still your brother and I’m here. I’m here.”

Saeran pulled him into a hug. He wanted that, he needed, needed, needed his brother. After so long, after everything that they had been through, they were reunited. And Saeran remembered that hug. He could struggle to find his memories of Saeyoung, but he would never forget that hug, the one that he would always receive during the cold nights or in the moments when he was so scared that he felt that his heart would stop out of fright. He remembered the hug that was followed by laughter and quiet coos in the dark. Saeran hid his face in Saeyoung’s left shoulder, feeling him wrap the same arm around him.  _ We missed him so much. _

“I missed you” Saeran whispered “I missed, missed, missed you”

“Me too, Saeran.” Saeyoung answered, tightening his grip around his brother “I missed you so much. I love you. I love you, brother.” 

Saeran climbed in Saeyoung’s bed, being wrapped tighter inside his brother’s hug. He had missed that hug so much, so much, so much. Saeyoung rested his hand behind his brother’s head, giving him a kiss on the head. Saeran loved, loved, loved kisses on the head. 

“I’m never leaving again. Okay? Never again.” he whispered “I’m with you now. Forever. I’m not disappearing again”

Saeran nodded. He did not want to let go. He wanted to stay there with his brother, where he was safe and happy, happy, happy? Saeran was happy. Moving onward from the past would take a while, he was aware of that, but there, in Saeyoung’s hug, he knew that it was the beginning of a brand new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot explain how important this chapter is for me and for this fic as a whole. Since the beginning I had it planned in my mind and to finally be able to put it in the paper was a gigantic relief.
> 
> I truly hope that you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates! Please, feel free to leave feedback because it helps me so much and I love reading comments!!
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	40. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long to update, but here we go, a brand new chapter for you <3

_ Jumin always had trouble connecting to people. They were loud, puzzling and overly-sentimental to his taste. People portrayed the strangest habits of engaging in all sorts of futile and unfruitful activities, which seemed to Jumin like nothing more than a waste of time. Still, Jihyun had never been any of those things. _

_ Since the day they met, when Jumin crashed his toy car against Jihyun’s home, they had become inseparable. Truth was that Jumin had never been able to truly connect to the children that lived in their street or even the children of his father’s business partners. They always seemed so different from him and did no effort whatsoever to talk to him. As a result, Jumin got used to being alone. He preferred it than having to deal with people that simply pretended to like him and that he had to pretend to like back. But there was never pretending with Jihyun. His friend was truthful in every action and word, and Jumin appreciated it very much. He did not seem to fit in very well, just like Jumin, and even if their personalities did not match at all, Jihyun had never made an attempt to change him. When they first met, the blue haired boy knew nothing about him. His last name, his father’s job, his wealth. All he did was come up to Jumin, ask if he was hurt, and then proceed to bring him band-aids to treat his scraped knee. Jumin only discovered about his friend’s family when he casually mentioned his new friend over dinner after one week spent playing with him on the street. At the time he did not know why his father got so excited, but everything got pieced together after the first dinner with Jihyun’s family. Still, the boys did not care much. It meant that they would have even more time to spend together. _

_ Jumin’s parents had greatly appreciated the good effect of Jihyun over their son and soon he was transferred to the same school as his friend, something that continued even after his mother went away. They were always together. Good times, bad times, Jihyun knew more about him than anyone, sometimes he imagined that his friend knew even more than himself. _

_ Still, even after knowing his friend for so many years, Jumin had never liked Jihyun’s father. Even if he thought that such judgement was based on the shallow concept of good and bad, Jumin knew that his friend’s father was a bad man, and he did not like him at all. Their relationship was nothing like the one he had with his own father, that even if conflicted some times, was still a standard bond between father and son. It was even interesting that their families seemed mirrored: Jihyun had a bad father and a good mother, while Jumin had a good father and a bad mother. Bad. Jihyun’s father was a bad man. Of course that Jumin would always pretend not to think so, he had been taught from a very young age to hide his emotions and impressions when it came to human interactions, but he had seen that man hurt his friend enough to know that he was not a good person, even if he could not gather the courage to tell his own father what he thought. _

_ The first time when their lives got to separate ways was by the time when they went to college. Both of them knew that their destiny had been set from the moment when they were born, and in the scheduled set of events both of them were supposed to follow the same path towards the best business school in Europe, but Jihyun decided to change his destiny as a whole. Jumin could not say that he wasn't sad when he realized that he would spend much time without seeing his friend, still, he could never depict such a selfish feeling. Jihyun would be much happier following his own path as a photographer, he had lived enough time under his father’s rule. Jumin had supported the beginning of his friend’s career, the hidden purchase of a camera, the many hours that they would spend outside while Jihyun practiced photography, he had even purchased some of his photos. Jihyun was brilliant at what he did, Jumin knew that, many people on the internet seemed to know that, except for Mr. Kim, the art’s businessman that hated art with all his soul.  _

_ Truth was that Jihyun’s decision to attend the local college was more of a statement against his father’s tyranny than anything else. Jumin knew that, and yet he had been the one to ask driver Kim to take them to SKY University so that Jihyun could make his admission. All that they couldn’t control was when the university’s response would arrive. _

_ He found out about the results on a sunny morning, when he found his friend sitting underneath the large tree near their homes, where they had built a treehouse many years before. Jumin smiled, as he always did when he saw his friend, but it soon faded away as he saw the dark bruises on Jihyun’s face. Mr. Kim was a bad man, Jumin knew that, and it did not make him less angry whenever he saw his friend suffering in that horrible man’s hands. _

_ “Did your father find out about your major?” Jumin asked, sitting by his side. _

_ “Yes,” Jihyun answered. _

_ Jumin took a deep breath.  _

_ “Did you get in?” _

_ “Yes,” Jihyun chuckled.  _

_ “Cool” Jumin smiled in pride. “I told you that you could do it” he looked at his friend “Do you want to go to my house? I can ask driver Kim to help us with those bruises” _

_ “No” Jiyun answered immediately. “I don’t want more people knowing about my dad. Thank you, Jumin, but… I’m fine.” he sighed “I messed up. He wouldn’t have gotten so angry if I hadn’t argued back” _

_ Jumin was in silence, trying to comprehend the always unusual logic that led his friend to say such absurd things. _

_ “You believe that it would be better to do nothing while he assaulted you?” he asked. _

_ “Sometimes it’s better like that,” Jihyun said. “I wasn’t going to say anything, he would just yell and I would be able to get to my room and stay there. But of course he had to talk about my mom and then… I lost it.” _

_ “What did you lose?” _

_ “My patience, it’s an expression Jumin” Jihyun sighed, leaning back against the tree.  _

_ Jumin knew that expression. Closed eyes, shivering lips, his friend was about to cry. The eighteen year old looked away. Those moments were hard. Jumin did not comprehend the concept of externalizing emotions, but his friend did that a lot. _

_ “I do not know what he said, but considering the gathered data about him, I am sure that he is wrong” Jumin said, looking back at Jihyun “He is wrong about you and he is wrong about your mother” _

_ Jihyun sniffed, wiping away the single tear that was already making her way down his cheek.  _

_ “What if I did the wrong thing?” he asked “It would be much easier to just do what he said and go to college with you. I’m just rebelling like this…” _

_ “Jihyun, you are seeking your passion” Jumin intervened “You are lucky that your passion is something that you are extremely talented at and you have already gained considerable money with your pictures” _

_ “Well, that’s not me. That’s “V” and the entire thing we made up to put on the internet” _

_ “Of course it is you!” Jumin insisted “Maybe it’s just a part of you that needs to be discovered, but your alias “V” is an inseparable part of you. All we did was post your pictures, and credit it to the pseudonym. We did not make anything up besides the name.” he took a deep breath “You are very talented and you should not diminish you and your work because your father doesn’t approve. You will be the one paying for your college, not him. And I am sure that soon you’ll be able to move away from him, just like you planned to do.” _

_ Jihyun looked back at him and let out his usually shy smile, looking down.  _

_ “Thank you, Jumin. I’ll miss those talks we have” the boy sighed “It will be weird not seeing you every day.” _

_ “Yes… But we will still talk, right?” Jumin asked. It was not common for him to be uncertain, but the truth was that he felt terrified of living far away. He knew that Jihyun had always been the only person to accept him the way he was. _

_ “Of course we will… What are you so wary about?” Jihyun chuckled. _

_ “Well, I am aware that I am not normal like other people of our age, this deeply affects the chances of anyone wanting to talk to me, what I appreciate, but it is good to be able to chat about trivial issues from time to time.” _

_ Jihyun turned around in order to face him, and underneath the dark bruises, his mint colored eyes smiled at Jumin. _

_ “Stop talking about ‘normal’. That doesn’t exist, alright? I like you the exact way you are and you will always be my friend.” he chuckled “No one’s taking us apart.” _

. . .

_ When Jumin arrived at the hospital, he could barely breathe. He had always been proud of saying that he was a calm, incisive man. Nothing ever seemed to disturb Jumin Han, not the drop on sales, not the value of the company, nothing. But at that moment, when Jumin saw his friend lying in a hospital bed with blood coming out of his chest and a circle of doctors running as he was dragged to surgery, he was sure that he would faint. Jumin talked to the doctors, doing his best to keep pretending, holding that same mask over his face so that no one would see him falter. Jumin had to be stronger than he had always been, and yet, for the first time, he did not feel that he could. _

_ For almost an hour, he seeked refuge at the chapel, staring at the floor, at the walls, with only one wish in his mind: let him live. Stupid Jihyun, that had deceived him, lied to him, but was still his best friend, his brother. He couldn’t die. He wouldn’t die. _

_ “I did not expect to find you here, sir” he heard his assistant’s voice call and immediately stood up, cleaning his throat, and adjusting his tie to make a few more seconds before having to answer. _

_ “I am just… waiting for the results.” he said, but as he raised his eyes Jumin met Ms. Kang’s stare, filled with compassion and making him uncomfortable enough to turn away “Are the doctors looking for me?” _

_ “No, I was” she said, placing her hand over the back of the seat. “If I may say, sir… I do believe that V will be fine soon. I know that you are not comfortable with expressing your emotions and it may not be my business, but…” she paused to take a deep breath “You are doing everything that you can, and V will be better soon.” _

_ Jumin looked at her and back to the interior of the chapel. He had never been good in conversations like that. _

_ “Are Yoosung and Zen on their way?” he asked. _

_ “Yes, but they’ll take fifteen minutes to arrive.”  _

_ “Please, notify me as soon as they get here. I need a little more time in here” Jumin said, sitting back on the bench “And Ms. Kang… Thank you. Your words were very kind” _

_ “Anytime you need, sir” she smiled. _

_ After she left, Jumin lowered his head and for the first time in many years, murmured a prayer. _

. . .

Jumin pressed his forehead against his knuckles, balancing his elbows over his knees while he waited. The worst had passed. Jihyun had already woken up and they had talked, even if half of the time was occupied by his friend’s apologies. Jumin had never felt comfortable in such emotional situations, but as he watched his friend talk, he felt that something had shifted within Jihyun Kim. He saw the sad mint eyes smile at him and while his friend talked, he sensed the truth that was always so rare in any human relation. Sitting in the hallway, waiting for the psychologist to leave, Jumin could not refrain from thinking about the day under the tree, when they promised that no one would take them apart. It had proven to be true, and still, he had never felt so far away than for the past six months. Jihyun was a different man, but Jumin had remained the same from the beginning, he would never change. He was still the same cold hearted businessman.

“Hey” he heard a sweet voice say on his right side.

When he raised his head, Jumin spotted Myung Chae standing near him, wearing a colorful dress and sneakers, holding a small bag in her hand that seemed to be the wrapping of some sort of food that Jumin had never seen.

“Mind if I sit?” she asked, but did not wait for Jumin’s answer before taking the chair by his side, something that seemed completely illogical and bothered him deeply. “So… What are you waiting for? Is Jihyun in a doctor appointment or…”

“He is talking to the psychologist” Jumin answered, nodding “I’m just waiting for her to leave so that I can pay him a visit.” he looked at her “What about you? Ms. Kang had told me that you were making company to the twins”

“They are talking right now” Myung said “We were going to wait a bit longer, but Saeran’s going through withdrawal and things are going to get a bit worse before they get better, so the doctors allowed them to see each other. Besides, Saeyoung will be much better soon and if Saeran accepts his support to go through this, it will be much better” she sighed, puffing her cheeks before continuing “I wanted to say… Thank you for all this. I don’t think that we would have made it if it wasn’t for your help”

“It was nothing” Jumin answered “I was just doing what was best for the RFA, that’s all”

“You keep saying this, but I know that you are worried.” Myung chuckled “You keep trying to maintain this cold-hearted figure you have, but you are really kind, Jumin. A cold person would not do so much to protect us.”

“We are all members of the same organization”

“I wasn’t until a month ago.” she replied “And Saeran wasn’t… well, until two days ago. So don’t do this, okay? You don’t need to hide yourself like this” she smiled “Own this kind heart you have, you really should”

Jumin looked away, letting out a sigh. He did not wish to make any of his insecurities public. He was the oldest member, it was his duty to serve as an example for the others, as well as lead them through this harsh situation.

“Do you want one?” Myung asked, reaching the small bag for him “It’s M&Ms.”

Jumin was puzzled by the strange circles that looked like colorful pills. 

“What is that?”

“It’s chocolate, have you never-” Myung stopped, it was Jumin, of course he had never eaten M&Ms “It’s commoner food, you’ll like it”

She dumped a dozen of the button-shaped candies in his hand before he could say anything. Jumin kept staring at the sweets and back at her. She couldn’t be expecting him to put those odd things in his mouth. And yet, she was. Jumin took a deep breath, recomposing himself as he picked one of the tiny circles with his right hand, leading it inside his mouth. It was a slightly confusing experience, as he did not expect to find out that it was filled with chocolate. It was an intriguing experience. The appeal was clearly on the funny shape and all the colors. Jumin chuckled.

“That is… Well, it is good commoner food” he said.

Myung laughed back at him. 

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” she said. “What are the plans now? Jaehee told me that there was a small fuss about this on the media…”

“Yes” he sighed “It is very hard to close illegal cult activities without the media finding out… Of course that the name of the RFA quickly came through, we’re trying to keep the details in secret, especially the twins and Saeran’s involvement in the Mint Eye activities.”

“What about Rika?”

“She’s been extremely cooperative” Jumin said “It seems that after almost killing V she has regained her senses. The psychiatrist is doing many evaluations and we’ll make sure that she receives all the help that she needs.” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose “The worst part is definitely the media, but up to now we did not have much troubl-”

“Son!”

Jumin froze, he knew that voice. Closing his eyes, the young man let out a sigh, pressing his lips together. That couldn’t be happening. His father could  _ not _ be there. With one swift move, Jumin stood up, being followed by Myung, turning around to face his father, and immediately his humor, that was already bad, dropped even more as he spotted Jihyun’s father walking with him.

“Father, Mr. Kim…” Jumin bowed. “I was not expecting to see both of you here.”

“We heard about the incident with the RFA” Mr. Han answered before turning his gaze to Myung “Are we… interrupting something?”

Jumin felt his face burn and it was very hard to embarrass him. His father could not be saying  _ that. _ Not only that girl was in a relationship, Jumin was not attracted to her at all, just like he had never been attracted to any other women. Besides, his father could not be so uncourteous as to suggest such a thing in the middle of a crisis.

“No” Jumin answered

“No!” Myung stuttered, almost in unison.

“She is a member of the RFA”

“Yes” Myung nodded

“And she is dating someone” Jumin continued “A member of the RFA, a dear friend of mine”

“Exactly” she nervously chuckled. “I’m Myung Chae. It’s a pleasure to meet you”

Mr. Han smiled, trying to cover up the embarrassment.

“It’s a pleasure, Ms. Chae. Are you dating that actor?”

Myung held back her laugh upon listening to Jumin's sigh as Zen was suggested as a dear friend of his. 

“Sure, I’m… dating Zen” she tried to smile at the same time that she felt guilty for lying, but of course that she could not reveal anything about her boyfriend, Myung knew that. 

“What are both of you doing here?” Jumin asked. “I do not mean to sound disrespectful, but-”

“Well, son, I heard on the news that your organization was involved in an accident with a cult and came immediately to see if you were safe. I met Mr. Kim at the reception, he was rather worried about the news regarding Jihyun, you see…”

“I should have been informed that my son was stabbed.” Mr. Kim voiced, frowning, “At least your organization had the courtesy of not letting any information slide to the media, otherwise the value of the company shares would have dropped even more.”

Myung felt as if she had heard it incorrectly. She couldn’t have heard it right. That man was V’s father, she assumed, since no one else had been stabbed, and his resemblance to V was obvious, still, he did not seem slightly worried about his son. 

“Yes, we would never want to cause much trouble” Jumin answered, attempting to stay calm but MC noticed his deeper breaths while V’s father spoke “I thank you for your visit, but… V’s still recovering, sir. I don’t know if they’ll allow visits.”

Jumin was lying. He knew that, it was a conscious lie, afterall, that was not different from business. Once everything was over, he would have an honest talk with his father and explain everything that he could, but that was not the time. Jumin trusted his father, even if they had casual disagreements over his womanizer behaviour, but he did not trust Mr. Kim at all. Jihyun’s father was a bad man. Jumin knew that and yet he had to deal with him because his friendship with V had always been the way for their parent’s business deals. Their story together had begun in order to hide ulterior motives from their progenitors, they had always known that. Mr. Kim would never have allowed Jihyun to get close to a weird child like Jumin if he wasn’t the son of a successful businessman. That was how Mr. Kim worked. Jumin knew that too, but he also knew how to play that game, how to hide the best cards until the end of the match. And so had he done. It was time to resume playing.

“Also, I honestly suggest, father, that both of you leave the hospital and are discreet about this. We still don’t know how troubling it could be for both of your companies to be involved in this, and as you have taught me, father: a businessman represents his company at every second of his life” he forced a smile out of his lips “So please, I’ll keep you informed.”

Jumin’s father chuckled, that was a good sign.

“Of course, son” he turned to Mr. Kim “We should go. Jumin is right”

“Sure” Mr. Kim nodded, but before going away he said “Please, Jumin, ask Jihyun to call me when he can”

Jumin nodded, but did not say a word. He was done with that man. He only noticed how tense he was when they entered the elevator and he finally relieved tension from his shoulders.

“What an asshole…” Myung said “Not your dad. V’s dad.”

“Yes…” Jumin answered “He is an asshole”

Myung chuckled “Is Jumin Han so mad at the guy that he’s cursing? I did not think that I would live to see this” she looked down at her phone and sighed “My uncle called, he must have seen the news… I’ll have to go call him back” she smiled at Jumin, placing her hands on the side of his arms “V will be fine soon, okay? You’ll see. And you’re not alone to deal with this, Jumin. We may not be able to close half an hospital to help you, but if you want to talk about something or just vent, we are here, alright?” she waited for him to nod before giving him a kiss on the cheek, standing in the tip of her toes to do so “See you soon”

Jumin had never liked physical demonstrations of affection, still, Myung was just like Saeran: it didn’t bother him that much. For the first time after many months, he smiled as he watched her leave. Jumin remembered that he was still holding the M&Ms that she gave him, but when he opened his palm, he saw that the coat of edible paint had melted onto his hand. Perhaps just like the M&M’s, MC had left some of her cheerful colors with him.

. . .

Zen blew the smoke away in the light breeze. With the cigarette in his hand, he did not feel proud. He had promised Myung that he would quit, he meant to do so, but all the situation was being too much for him to take. Even after the rehearsal and finally getting to have that cup of coffee with Ilsung after days of flirting through text, he was unable to shake off that anxiety, the feeling that something bad would happen. As a result, the recently bought pack weighed in his pocket and the cigarette in his hands seemed so attracted by his lips as a pair of magnets. Every drag off the cigarette made him feel good, but as soon as the smoke left his lips he could only feel ashamed of not keeping up with his word.

The man pushed his long white hair back, looking at the sky. So much had happened and yet none of it seemed to be real. Life had been good and everything had gotten better after Myung arrived, but then came Rika, the Mint Eye, and the dreadful past that had always haunted Saeyoung without him noticing. Zen flicked his hand, allowing the ashes to fall over the floor. Everything was supposed to be over, but an even bigger threat towered over them and he did not know what to do to stop it.

“Those things will kill you one day” he head the familiar deep voice say when Jumin walked in his direction “Good to see that you decided to come in your motorcycle, you are really taking unsafe decisions today”

“You know, I was almost feeling bad about the cigar, but knowing that this bothers you… I feel good” Zen teased, blowing smoke towards Jumin before returning his gaze to the road “I’ll just finish this and be right inside, then you can go and do your corporative stuff”

“Actually, I came here to talk to you” Jumin said “I believe that you should know that my father and V’s father have been here. The news are spreading fast”

“Dude, the entire country knows by now…” Zen sighed, putting out the cigar against the hospital wall and letting it fall on the floor “The ‘PM’ for sure knows too. That’s why we really need to continue taking turns and watching out for the twins, they are not safe in this hospital.”

“They need treatment”

“They need an escape route.” Zen interrupted “We should expose this guy, we have a lot of proof of the shit that he has done, why don’t we handle them to the police?”

“Because he has much more power than us, Zen” Jumin answered, already feeling deeply bothered by the younger man’s lack of understanding “It is foolish to assume that following the standard protocols we shall be able to arrest a criminal with such power” the businessman sighed “I’ve told you before that you should use more your logic and be less sentimental. It would help you to think straight”

“Oh, great, we’re going there again” Zen scoffed, putting his hands on his waist.

“I’m not referring to  _ that _ time in our lives,” the older man said “But perhaps you should have already learned this back then, it would have spared me the time of having this talk with you once more”

“I’m sorry if I’m not an emotionless robot like you” Zen blurted out “You know, I have something called feelings and I’m fucking worried about our friends in there. I don’t have a huge ass company that could benefit from my nice actions, so I’m sorry if I’m actually worried about simply solving this the fastest way possible”

There was silence after that. Jumin was crossed with that arrogant actor, who thought that he knew so much, and Zen was done with the CEO-in-line, so full of himself. There was much anger and resentment between them, they thought that maybe too much for them to work together taking care of their friends, but before Jumin could reply, a nurse came from inside the hospital, calling his name and making him turn around.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr. Han, but I was told that I should tell you if anyone came looking for the patients in the restricted area” she said.

“Yes, exactly” Jumin nodded “Did anyone come?”

“Well, sir… The Prime Minister came looking for you” the nurse replied, smiling “What an honor it must be! He said that he wants to assure the safety of your organization. The nurse in charge allowed him to go inside, but I had seen you come here, so I came to warn you”

Jumin looked at Zen. Vanderwood had to go to C&R with Jaehee to help with the Intelligence Unit, Yoosung was at college, that meant that Myung would be the only one on the floor when the Prime Minister arrived. She would have to stand between one of the most powerful men in the country and the twins by herself. Without saying anything else, the two men ran inside. They had to protect the twins. That man could never discover the secrets that RFA was protecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you get curious about this little chat between Jumin and Zen at the end? Check out my other fic 2am to find more about "that time in their lives": https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870777. This is set on the same timeline as A Tale of Stars and Roses, years before Myung joined the RFA. 
> 
> Also, if you are interested in Zen and Jumin, make sure to read one of my favorite fics, Wine and Cigarettes, by alwayssaywhatever: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903921/chapters/62952157
> 
> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> A special thanks for my special friend (aka. amazing beta reader), that endures every single craziness in this story beforehand.
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


	41. Hide

“I’m fine, uncle,” Myung said, pacing from one side of the hallway to the other. “I promise.”

She should have known that he would call. Uncle Bon-hua was her last living relative, she should have anticipated that he would be desperate when he saw the news. Even if she could not tell him much, Myung tried to explain everything that she could, changing some details in order to bring peace to him. 

“I’m being careful… Yes, uncle… Through a friend in college, Yoosung Kim… Yes, he’s the one who introduced me to everyone… They are… I trust them with my entire heart… Yes, uncle… No, I have money… A friend is paying for the hospital… From the organization, yes… I’ll tell him… No, don’t worry… No, uncle, please. Aunt will be worried if you cry, we know that. I’m okay… Yes…” she smiled. Listening to her uncle’s voice brought her a sense of normality that she had almost forgotten that existed “I promise… Okay… I have to go now. Love you… Bye”

Myung placed her phone back into her pocket. Poor uncle. She wanted to tell him the entire truth, but she knew that she couldn’t. There were too many details that were classified. 

She stopped in front of Saeyoung’s room. She could hear their voices inside, everything seemed fine, which made her smile. They were getting along. The girl took a deep breath, preparing herself to go inside, but as her hand touched the door knob, a male voice made her look away.

“Excuse me, miss? Could you give me an information?”

“Oh, of course” Myung began to say, but as she turned around and set her eyes on who was talking to her, her heart froze. 

The Prime Minister observed her with calm, waiting for her to talk, his inexpressive amber eyes were the same as a jaguar, silently waiting for his prey. The girl stumbled back with the scare. He was not supposed to be there. Of all the people, that horrible, nasty, filthy man was the last person that should be allowed on the floor, but of course that he was there, he was the prime minister after all. 

Myung wanted to say many things to that man. She wanted to tell him that he was a despicable human being that did not deserve a cent of what he had, and that he should leave that hospital otherwise she would kick him out herself. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. MC was just a small normal girl, and he was a powerful strong man. She couldn’t take him in a direct conflict, but she would give her life before allowing him to get close to her friends.

“P-prime minister!” she exclaimed, faking a smile while she bowed “It’s such a pleasure, sir. What may I assist you with?”

“I am the one who should say that it’s a pleasure” he grinned “To see the heroic deeds of the RFA. You have accomplished your civic duties many times! To tear down an illegal organization like this...'' he chuckled, analyzing her from head to toe “I do not believe that we have been introduced. I assume that you are the member in training that Jumin and V mentioned before?”

“Yes, sir” Myung nodded. “I’m Myung Chae. It’s an honor”

“The honor is mine!” he grinned once more, and Myung could not cease comparing him to a predator in the middle of a hunt, and she was standing right in between him and his prey. “Now, I have been told that three members are receiving treatment after what happened. Could you tell me who they are? I’d like to congratulate them in person, you see, you were all national heroes.”

At that moment, Myung had to face a choice. To lie or to tell the truth. Even if the first was her obvious pick, she knew that as soon as the words left her mouth, her life would flip, as she would be directly involved in the fight with the second most powerful man in the nation. She knew that he would not be deceived, that her only chance of survival would be the faith that she had in the RFA. Did she trust them enough to do so? Yes. She trusted them with her life. Once, grandma had asked her what she longed for life, and for once she had the answer. It had been hers all along, in so many different shapes, in so many different people. Myung wanted a place, a group to belong. She had it with her parents, but they were swept away after six years with her. She had it with her grandmother and Areum, but each one of them had also been taken away from her life. At that moment, her family was behind that closed door, and she would defend it with everything that she had until the last minute, and no prime minister would convince her not to.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir” she answered “Our members were in here, but we are almost all completely healed. The only one that is still recovering is V, all the others are fine”

She watched his lips twitch down for a second. Annoyance? Anger? Maybe both. But Myung did not react to that. She had to make it seem real, she had to at least try to convince him that his sons were not behind that door, mindlessly laughing, unaware of what was going on in the hallway.

“Are you sure, miss?” he asked, fixing his tie “You do not seem to be hospitalized here. You seem to be… visiting whoever is in that room.”

He knew. Myung took a deep breath. The game had just gotten harder, but she did not mind. No. If he wanted to play, she was ready for it.

“It’s a friend of mine, not from the RFA. Unfortunately, she got affected by this situation, but she’ll be better soon” she smiled at him “Maybe if you come back when Jumin is here, he’ll be able to help you out, sir.”

“I’m sorry about this friend of yours” he sighed, ignoring what she had just said “What happened to her?”

Myung was not good at lying. She could not make up things like that. The girl stuttered and she knew that gave her away, still, she answered. There was no backing away.

“She was kidnapped by the cult a few months back” she said “We… I found her and now she’s here, recovering”

“Then maybe I should pay her a visit” the prime minister said, advancing one single step in her direction, making Myung enter in front of the door even more “The victims of such tragedy must be comforted in those times.”

“She is already receiving enough comfort, sir” Myung said “But thank you very much for the offer. I’ll tell her that you sent your best regards”

“Are you feeling well, Ms. Chae?” he asked, taking another step forward “You seem quite nervous”

“Yes, I’m fine” Myung answered. “Sir, you are acting quite strangely and too incisive for my taste, I must ask you to leave”

She did not know from where she summoned the courage to say such a thing, but it was clear that the prime minister did not enjoy it at all. His eyes sparked in anger, but the girl did not back away.

“Ms. Chae, I don’t think that you comprehend what you are meddling into” he said, getting closer to her “Allow me to give you an advice: get out of my way. You still have time to do so”

She smiled back at him, squinting her eyes.

“No, sir, let me give  _ you _ an advice” she said, slamming her hand right against the doorframe, blocking his passage “You can threaten me how much you’d like, but I am  _ not  _ letting you cross this door”

“This is not your fight, little girl” he said “Do you think that we know nothing about you? How hard do you think that it will be for me to find more about you?” he threatened, standing close to her “You better leave while you have the chance to do so… You do not want to piss me off”

Myung shivered, but she did not move. He knew that if he was doing that, it meant that there was no risk for him. They were alone in the hallway, no one was there to see and who knew what would happen to the security cameras. She was just a regular girl trying to fight a giant, still, if that was it, she would give everything that she had. 

“Prime minister, sir?” a voice called. A familiar deep and warm voice that made Myung sigh in relief. 

Jihyun approached her by her side, with his hands crossed behind his back. Myung knew that he should be resting, but that was not the time to make him go back to bed. For whatever reason, there were no nurses or other members of the staff in the hallway, no one that could give them any assistance. Jihyun was everything that Myung had.

“V… How good to see that you are well” the prime minister said, flashing his eyes with anger to Myung before smiling at V “How are you feeling?”

“Better, sir” he answered, coming to stand almost in front of Myung. “I’m recovering still, but I’ll be healthy soon” he glanced at the girl before turning back to the politician “Now… May I help you with anything?”

“Oh, I just came to thank your organization for shutting down this cult” the prime minister said “It’s a memorable deed and I hope to hear the entire story when you are feeling better”

“Of course, sir” Jihyun nodded “As soon as I feel better”

“I was just asking Ms. Myung about the other members that are hospitalized. Such a grand accomplishment deserves praising and I wish to show my appreciation to each one of you” the prime minister explained.

“Well, then we thank you for that. Right now the only members here are the two of us. We feel honored and greatly appreciate the compliments” Jihyun said. “Now, if that’s everything…”

“So, you are saying that there are no other members in this hospital?” Saejoong Choi asked.

“No, sir. There is no one else” Jihyun answered “Seems to be a recurring answer that I’m giving you, prime minister. I assure you that you already know about all of our members, there is no one else.”

They heard footsteps on the corridor. When Myung looked, she saw Zen and Jumin walking fast in their direction. Jumin came to a stop when he approached the politician, but Zen only stopped running when he got in between the girl and the prime minister.

“Prime minister, sir, what a pleasant surprise” Jumin said, glancing at Myung and V “May I ask what you are doing here?”

“I was just explaining this to V,” the prime minister answered, taking a step back “I just came to congratulate the RFA, that’s all”

“Well, thank you, sir” Jumin bowed “We feel honored. But, this is a private section, I’m sure that you will understand. We are resolving some issues, you see, and…” he looked at Jihyun, receiving a nod from his friend “there are many personal matters that we would like to solve before receiving visitors here. I was told that you wished to talk to me, but it would be better that, next time, you wait for me in the reception, if you may. I do not mean to be disrespectful, but…” Jumin looked around “I worry about your image and you know that the employees may gossip if they see someone like you, sir, talking alone with a young woman. I’m just trying to protect both of you”

“Yeah” Zen said, putting his arm around Myung and pulling her closer “It is expected that a public figure like you, sir, will know manners”

Jumin pushed Zen back, making sure that he was far from the politician. Stupid actor, Jumin thought.

“What Zen means is” he stopped, trying to come up with an excuse “that we value both of you very much and this is a delicate moment. So please, be careful”

The prime minister forced another smile, analyzing each member of the RFA in silence.

“Very well, I thank you all for your worries” he smiled “I must go now. I wish you all a safe recovery” he turned his back to them, but stopped, turning only his neck to glance back at the group “Oh, and please, take good care of Ms. Myung. It is not safe to let such a young lady alone, especially since you turned down a cult. Who knows what may happen to her?”

Zen advanced towards the politician, but Jumin held him back. Even if the black haired man himself was feeling the urge of resorting to violence, he knew that it was not worth it. They should not follow that man’s will while playing such a dangerous game.

“Son of a bitch” Zen murmured.

“Language…” Jumin reprehended, turning back to Myung “Are you alright?”

The girl nodded. “I’m fine, just a bit shaky”

Jumin turned to Jihyun, seeing his friend lean his back against the wall.

“I’m fine” Jihyun answered before hearing the question “We should check the twins” 

“You should rest,” Jumin replied.

“I heard him talking in the corridor, I got worried,” Jihyun explained. “We need to check on the boys”

Jumin nodded, opening the bedroom door. When the group came in, they found the twins staring at them, with worried expressions on their faces. Saeyoung was sitting in bed and Saeran was holding the lampshade, watching the door.

“What the hell was happening outside?” Saeyoung asked.

. . .

“He was here?” Saeyoung exclaimed after listening to the events in the hallway. 

The older twin was still in bed and his brother had resumed his place by the foot of the bed. Jihyun was sitting in the chair near them and Myung was in between the twins while the other two remained standing.

“He was right out of this door?” he asked again “I can’t believe it! Right outside? If Myung weren’t there it would have been ‘bye bye Saeran and Saeyoung’?”

“Oh boy, if you’re mad about that wait ‘till you hear that he threatened Myung” Zen said.

“He did what?” Saeyoung exclaimed

“He threatened you?” Saeran asked, turning to her “No. That, that,  _ that is absurd! That stupid bastard can’t, can’t, can’t hurt you! I’m not letting him. Who the hell does he think he is to-” _

“Saeran, sweetie” Myung called, holding his hand. “Calm down, okay? And Saeyoung,” she looked at her boyfriend “Chill, alright? I’m fine”

“But you could not be!” Saeyoung answered “That’s it!” he said, throwing his blanket to the side and throwing his legs out of bed “Who this asshole thinks that he is to come here and threaten my friends? I’m done with his crap, I’m getting out of here and I’m dealing with him right now.”

“Oh, I’ll help you with that, buddy” Zen smirked, cracking his knuckles..

_ “Me too!”  _ Saeran exclaimed, standing up, but soon he sat down again, regaining his senses “No, I’m not!” 

“Can we all calm ourselves?” Jumin asked, using a more severe tone than he was used to “No one is going anywhere until we have delimited what is safe and what isn’t, so please, Zen, shut up, Saeyoung, lay back down, and Saeran” he stared at the boy, trying to make sense of what had happened “I’m glad that you... changed your mind?”

“Holy crap. Our father annoyed Jumin Han so much that he actually screamed” Saeyoung laughed “Not even I got to do that.”

Jihyun sighed, pinching his forehead. Nothing of that was supposed to be happening. He had hoped that they would be able to recover in peace, but unfortunately their misery gave that man the perfect opportunity to strike. Jumin had urged him to go back to bed, but in the end they did not know if it was safe for any of them to be alone anymore.

“We can’t get ahead of ourselves” he finally said “We need a plan, and a very good one that doesn’t involve any of you beating people up” 

“We need to disappear, that’s the plan” Saeyoung said, punching his blanket “I told you guys that our lives were a mess. Now you’re all fucked and it’s our fault”

“It’s not our fault” Saeran promptly disagreed, turning to face his brother “We both can be blamed by many things, but it’s not our fault to be alive. And it’s not our fault that he wants to kill us.”

Saeyoung looked away without saying anything else, biting his lips.

“We just… just, just need to focus” Saeran continued saying, lowering his eyes to the ground “We need, need, need to find a way to make him leave. Just make him go away. Forever” he raised his head once more, looking to Myung “The other members, members, members, where are they? Yoosung, Jaehee and Vanderwood. It’s dangerous”

“We messaged them” Zen said “They’ll be here soon. I’m just worried about Yoosung because the kid did not see the-”

The door was slammed open while Yoosung came in, interrupting Zen in the middle of the sentence. All the eyes turned to the boy, who began talking as soon as the door opened, unaware of the people that filled the room.

“Hey, Saeyoung. I found the chips that you asked me before, but I couldn’t find the Phd. Pep-” he raised his eyes from his phone, looking around for the first time “Oh, hi guys… What is everyone doing here?” he looked at V “Didn’t you go through surgery two days ago? I don’t know much about surgery in humans, but I think that you should be resting”

“Come in, Yoosung” Jihyun chuckled “There’s an emergency, close the door.”

“And give me my chips!” Saeyoung yelled across the room “And my change, that was my money”

Yoosung showed him his tongue while he threw the package of chips and some coins over the blanket.

“What happened?” he asked. 

“The prime minister came here” Jihyun answered. “He was looking for the twins. We managed to make him go away, but it is getting dangerous to stay here.

“But how did he get here?” Yoosung asked, turning to Jumin “Hyung, you said that the hospital had closed the area, that they were keeping everything a secret”

Jumin sighed, leaning his back against the wall.

“That was the plan, Yoosung” he said “I do not know what happened, but unfortunately money buys too many things in this world, perhaps even the hospital staff.”

“That’s why the corridor was empty?” Myung whispered.

“Precisely” Jumin nodded “More people are being treated on this floor. All of the Mint Eye believers and Rika are receiving treatment here. It is quite strange that all nurses and doctors would suddenly disappear at once”

“Rika is on this floor?” Yoosung asked.

“Yoosung…” Zen called.

“What are you going to do? Go give her flowers and tell her to get better soon?” Saeyoung scoffed.

“Hey, she’s still my cousin, alright?” Yoosung answered. “You can be mad at her all you want, but I’m really not looking forward to her going to jail!”

“How can you say that to my face?” Saeyoung replied “Actually, how can you say that when V and Saeran are here? She stabbed V and tortured my brother for two fucking years”

“I’m not defending her!” Yoosung yelled back. “Stop freaking out with me just because you’re angry with your father. Have you thought that this must be hard for the rest of us too? I’m sorry for what Rika did to you, but it’s not my fault, and she’s my family too, I worry about her!”

“Boys, I think that you two should calm down” Jihyun said “Saeyoung, you’re not solving anything like this”

“Well, I think that we need to get some things cleared out here, V” Saeyoung said. “You know, Yoosung, I don’t know if you can understand the proportion of what Rika did! She commited a few crimes, did you know that?”

“Oh, says the person that never did anything illegal!” Yossong yelled back.

“Well, me existing is illegal Yoosung, I never really had a choice!” Saeyoung snapped “I don’t expect the little mommy’s boy to understand what I’m talking about!”

“You’re such an asshole! What is the matter with-”

“ _ Shut up! _ ” Saeran yelled, covering his ears “Please, please, please, stop. Stop, stop yelling”

Silence fell over the room. Saeyoung closed his eyes, looking down. He had messed up. Yoosung leaned back against the wall, unable to look at his friend. Both of them knew that they had messed up. Saeran was having trouble breathing and Saeyoung hated to be the cause of his brother’s anxiety crisis. Stupid Saeyoung Choi. 

“I’m sorry” he murmured, but not even he could pinpoint if it was for Saeran or for Yoosung.

“I’m sorry too” Yoosung said.

“Just… n-no yelling” Saeran whimpered “Please, no, no, no yelling”

Myung held his hands, stroking his back while Saeran cried.  _ You’re being stupid crying, they’ll thing you’re weak. _ Saeran did not want to cry, but he hated loud noises.  _ No yelling.  _ Saeran hated fighting and yelling. The loudness hurt his head and the aggressiveness hurt his heart. 

“We can’t fight right now” he continued “We just can’t.” he looked at his brother “I know that you are angry at her. I’m angry too, but if we are going to move on we need to let go. It hurts, hurts, hurts what she did to us… B-but we can’t trap ourselves. And it’s not Yoosung’s fault.” he looked at Yoosung, but averted his gaze.  _ We shouldn’t be talking in here, everyone is looking  _ “Just… Let’s not, not, not fight. It’s better not to”

“Yeah, shame on the two of you” Zen nodded. “You should not be fighting like this.”

“Didn’t you want to beat the prime minister up a few minutes ago?” Jumin asked

“He’s not my friend, I can fight him”

Yoosung sighed, walking up to Saeyoung.

“I’m sorry, hyung” he said. “I don’t think that you’re an asshole… most times”

“I’m sorry too,” Saeyoung said. “I also think that you’re not an asshole… most times”

Yossung sighed, sitting in bed next to Saeyoung.

“What are we going to do?” the boy asked.

“The main point here is: we’re not safe in this hospital. Where are we going?” Saeyoung asked. 

“You can stay at my place…” Myung offered.

“Too obvious,” Saeyoung said. “The house of any of the members is off the list”

“Don’t you have a bunker?” Zen asked.

“They found it and already searched the entire place,” Saeyoung said. “We can’t go back there.”

“Perhaps leaving the city for a while?” Jumin asked.

“We can’t run away forever. We just need time to get better.” Saeyoung sighed, hiding his face in his hands “Crap, I don’t know where”

“What about the apartment?” Saeran said, raising his head and looking at his twin “Rika’s apartment”

“It’s under V’s name, they would find it out”

“Not if we mess with the registration” Saeran replied “He doesn’t live there. No one will notice if it goes away from the system for a bit. And even if they do notice, we’ll leave no trace that it happened, there will be no proof. Besides, you had good equipment there already, I know that you did because you gave me trouble to invade the RFA app. If we can set there for a while-”

“We can use what we have there to attack the prime minister while we’re invisible” Saeyoung nodded. He smiled “you’re a genius.” the older twin turned to Jumin “We need to leave this place, hyung. There is no other way. And if V could leave too it would be better. It’s not safe.”

Jumin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I agree,” he said. “I shall sign the papers to discharge all of you, but before, make sure to leave a fake lead of where you might be heading. If they have someone selling them information, this person needs to have a fake lead to give them”

“We can make them believe that they’ll go to my home,” Jihyun said. “It makes perfect sense. If you can take me in for a few weeks, Jumin, I would be very grateful. The house will be empty, there is no risk to me or anyone else”

Jumin nodded. “You know that my home is always open to you.” he looked back at the twins. “I suggest that Myung stays with you in the apartment. I was not there, but from what she told her confrontation with the Prime Minister was very direct and she must be kept in safety, especially considering that she is the only member that has received a threat”

“Of course” Saeran answered “We’ll take care of noona”

“Good” Jumin nodded. “Zen, if I may ask, is it possible for Yoosung to stay with you? I shall ask Ms. Kang to stay at my place.”

“Dude, Yoosung has been living in my place for God knows how long. I’m not getting rid of him until this mess is off” 

“Who's taking care of Vanderwood?” Saeyoung asked “The guy is kinda homeless thanks to me and he needs protection too”

“Oh, he can stay with us!” Yoosung exclaimed “It will be fun”

“Will it?” Zen asked, but soon cleaned his throat “I-I mean, yeah, he can stay with us. I’m totally not scared of him”

“Excellent” Jumin smiled. “I will bring you a computer” he said to the twins “Make this fake lead and make sure that it is convincing. Also: remember to erase the apartment from the system. You have three hours”

“Don’t worry, hyung” Saeyoung chuckled “We’ll have it done in two”

. . .

Myung lied in bed, staring at the bedroom ceiling. The trip to the apartment had been calm. Even if the doctors were against it, the twins and V had been discharged and were quickly taken to their destinations. Jumin had arranged everything. They were supposed to be safe, and still, when she was on the sidewalk waiting for Saeyoung to input the password, she could not control the fear of being taken away. She could still feel the hands pulling her back, hitting her and forcing her to smell that tissue so that she would pass out. Myung remembered it still, and she did not want that. 

She could listen to the boys in the kitchen, even if they were not talking. Jumin had given them an extra bed to be assembled, so that the three of them could have a comfortable night of sleep, but they had not decided who would sleep there. Perhaps they would decide it by night. Truth was that none of them seemed comfortable in there or with themselves. Trauma was such a sticky thing, that held onto them and impregnated their scars. Myung had never thought much about that until she noticed how many traumas she had gathered through her life. 

But they were safe. That was the important thing. They were safe. 

Rika had been taken to a treatment facility in another country, Jumin had said. Myung prayed for her to get better soon, even if she was happy that the twins were one step closer to freedom.

“Hey” she heard, looking at the door to find her boyfriend looking at her “How are you doing?”

“I’m a mess” she sighed “What about you?”

“I’m a mess too” he chuckled, laying down by her side “I fucked up, Myung”

“What?”

“Honestly? Everything” he sighed “But Saeran… Crap, this is so hard. I don’t know him. He was my best friend and now I simply don’t know anything anymore.” he hid his face in his hands, groaning “You know, I think that I invented a new type of fucking up. There’s regular stupid, there’s super stupid and then there’s me: the new kind of stupid.”

“Why are you calling yourself stupid so many times?”

Myung and Saeyoung raised their heads, seeing Saeran standing by the door.

“Because I’m stupid” Saeyoung answered.

“Huh…” Saeran pondered “Okay” he leaned against the doorframe, scratching his arm and looking down “I… I think that I’m a bit hungry, but I’m really not feeling well to cook”

“Is it the nausea again?” Saeyoung asked, sitting up.

Saeran shook his head.

“I just… I don’t, don’t, don’t feel like…” he whimpered, falling in bed by his brother’s side “I’m feeling a bit tired. My head is hurting”

“Did you take the medication?” Myung asked, waiting until he nodded “Good. You’ll be fine soon, sweetie. You’ll see. Things will get a bit worse before they get better” she stood up, brushing her dress a few times before turning back to them “But, I really could use an extra pair of hands. Or, two extra pairs, actually” she smiled. “Come, let’s make some dinner”

Myung held Saeran’s hand, convincing him to stand back up. After receiving a smile from Saeyoung, she giggled, leading both of them towards the tiny kitchen. Everything truly was a mess in Myung's life, but she knew that they would get better soon. All they had to do was stick together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> A special thanks for my special friend (aka. amazing beta reader), that endures every single craziness in this story beforehand.
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡

**Author's Note:**

> I truly hope you've enjoyed it and keep your eyes open for the next updates!
> 
> A special thanks for my special friend (aka. amazing beta reader), that endures every single craziness in this story beforehand. 
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe ♡


End file.
